Forever Lost
Makoto and Ami arrived hand in hand to their usual meeting place, the
Hikawa Shrine. They both felt an uneasiness in their stomach's as they
prepared themselves to reveal their recent relationship. Talking one
last look at each other and squeezing hands, the two girls walked in to
meet their friends.
"Hey guys! You finally made it!" Usagi greeted happily as the blue
haired girl and brunette walked in and joined them.
Rei quickly offered the two girls a cup of tea "So what did you guys
want to talk about?" she asked sitting down beside Minako.
Makoto turned to look at Ami before beginning to blush "Well...the thing
is...Ami and I...um..." she stammered.
Ami smiled and took the taller girl's hand in hers "We realized we
have...feelings for each other and we've decided to begin a
relationship" she stated before also beginning to blush profusely.
For a moment the room grew silent until it was broken by the sudden
sound of lightning and pouring rain.
"That's wonderful! Congratulations you two! Oh boy! Another cute couple!
You guys could hang out with Haruka and Michiru!" Usagi cheered.
"Maybe..." Makoto whispered still feeling a bit embarrassed but also
feeling relieved by Usagi's response.
Rei smiled and lifted her cup "Congratulations! Here's to a happy and
wonderful couple!" she said watching all but one of her friends lift
their cup as well. "Minako? Don't be rude and toast with us. Aren't you
happy for them?" the raven haired girl asked frowning at her blonde
friend.
Minako sat holding her head down, she knew she was about to burst into
tears "I'm sorry...I just...I just don't feel well, I have to go!" she
whimpered before bolting out the door into the pouring rain.
"What's wrong with her?" Usagi asked feeling annoyed by Minako's
reaction.
Ami shifted nervously in her spot "I don't think she took it too well. I
think it bothered her" she sighed.
Rei looked over to the blonde's spot and noticed she left her bag "Well
I don't know but she sure acted like a real jerk, plus she forgot her
stuff"
"I'll go catch up and give it to her! I think I'll try to talk to her
while I'm at it" Makoto said as she bolted up and took the bag, winking
lovingly at Ami she sprinted out the door.
"Mako-chan! An umbrella!" the blue haired girl cried before noticing the
taller girl was far gone.
______________________________________________________________________
Minako ran senselessly through the streets of Tokyo, mechanically she
lead herself towards her home but still didn't know where she was going.
The rain had gotten worse and the wind picked up, the blonde was cold
and confused, tears poured down her puffy red face. She felt a
tightening pain wrap around her broken heart, everything she had ever
dreamed of and wished for was now destroyed. However, the worst she was
feeling at that moment was the inability to feel happy for her deepest
love...Makoto.
"Why does this feel so bad? I should be happy for Mako! I guess I just
always thought it would be me making her happy..., Ugh...it hurts so
bad...why?!" she cried to herself feeling her fists close and tighten
angrily.
The storm grew worse by the minute, Minako finally stopped and realized
she didn't know where she was. Her body shivered from the intense wind
blowing against her. The miserable blonde was forced to wait under a
roof and wait for the rain to stop before she could figure out where she
was. It was dark and lonely but she didn't mind, Minako felt so
wretched at that moment nothing in the physical world could interrupt
her emotional stress. Of coarse after awhile the cold rain splashing
against her face became very uncomfortable and it eventually broke her
trance. (Oh God, I can't believe how I acted back there, I probably hurt
my Mako-chan. What was I thinking? I should have at least acted like I
was happy, even though I wasn't... and poor Ami...it's not her fault.
It's just...it feels so bad...I don't deserve friends like them...I
never deserved Mako's love and that's probably why I will never have it.
It's going to be so hard to forget these feelings and let go...) she
thought to herself.
Minako stood shivering on the lonely street, she closed her eyes for a
moment and took deep breathes to calm herself. The cold that ran down
her body suddenly ceased when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around
her from behind protectively. A wonderful rose scent enveloped the
blonde, her heart felt warm as she cuddled into the shoulder behind her.
"Mina-chan? It's cold out here, let's find somewhere warm, then maybe we
can talk" Makoto whispered kindly into the other girl's ear as she
slightly nudged her.
The blonde felt tears form in her eyes "I'm surprised you even want to
talk to me. I acted so terribly" she sobbed.
"I didn't expect you to act like that but that's why I'm here, I want to
know what's wrong. Will you tell me?"
Minako felt the brunette's hand begin to tenderly caress her own "Okay"
she replied somberly.
With that Makoto let go of the smaller girl and took her hand, quickly
eyeing the area she spotted a slightly open door in an alleyway, almost
certainly leading into the storage room of some store. The brunette
covered Minako from the rain as much as she could with her own body, the
two ran under the storm until finally reaching the door and swiftly
entering. Indeed it was a storage room, boxes were stacked neatly
against the walls, a few shelves filled with items stood together, in
the middle were a set of stairs leading up to a closed door.
Makoto switched a small light above her which poorly but effectively
illuminated the dark room "Well... it's not much but at least it's warm
and dry, it'll do for now" she said rinsing water from her hair. She
looked over to Minako who was now leaning against the wall with her head
down and still shivering from the cold. The brunette walked over and
embraced her as tightly but as gently as she could, the blonde held her
arms together against her chest and melted into the other girl's warmth.
"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?" Makoto asked without moving
from their embrace.
"Sorry but I just can't"
"Why not? Does it disgust you? You can tell me, I won't get mad.
Promise"
"It's not that...I don't care about that...it's just...Oh Mako-chan! I'm
so sorry!" Minako muffled a cry into the taller girl's shoulder.
Makoto tightened her grip on the girl in her arms "It's okay, you can
tell me anything. You know I won't get mad. Just tell me. I can't bear
to see you like this and not even know why you're so sad. I want to help
you" she whispered into the blonde's ear.
Minako looked up into the shining emerald eyes above her, they sparkled
with so much worry and caring, her heart ached at the thought of seeing
hurt and disappointment in them but...she knew she couldn't lie to them
either. "I'm sorry Mako-chan, I'm just being selfish. I acted badly
today and I'm really sorry. I wish you and Ami all the happiness in the
world, you deserve it" she said a bit coldly still staring into the
green eyes that entranced her.
"Thank you but I still don't understand why you're so upset. If it's not
about Ami and me then what is it? You always tell me everything, why are
you holding back now?" Makoto asked as she sweetly placed her hand on
Minako's flushed cheek.
"Because...I don't want to hurt you!"
"Hurt me? Listen Mina-chan, I know you would never do anything to hurt
me. So please, stop thinking I'm going to get mad and please tell me why
you're so upset. I promise I won't get mad, whatever it is"
Minako nodded and grabbed the hand on her cheek then tenderly kissed it
before letting go "I just thought things would've been different. I feel
so disappointed and regretful and...guilty because I want you to be
happy, I want to feel happy for you and I know I will. I just can't
right now and I'm so sorry!" she sobbed and began to cry rivers again.
Makoto embraced her again "Why can't you feel happy for me?" she asked
delicately as she felt tears form in her own eyes.
"Because...I'm in love with you Mako-chan"
The brunette felt her heart burst with happiness, tears of joy ran down
her face as her mind wracked endlessly with the most incredible
emotions. If only she had heard those three magical words two days
before, before Ami had said them to her. "Oh God, Minako-chan...I can't
believe it...I'm so stupid!" she cursed at herself for being such a
coward and so blind.
Minako quickly pulled back "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have told you! We can
still be friends, I promise! I'm so sorry!! It's not your fault, it's
mine!" she cried hysterically.
"No, No, you don't understand. I'm an idiot because I never got to tell
you that...I love you too Minako-chan. I always have " the brunette
whispered, her teary green eyes stared passionately at the blonde, an
inevitable smile grew on her face.
Minako couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her entire being revived,
her eyes shun blissfully as she stared back, warmth wrapped itself
around her heart and soul, she could breathe again. "Really? But, but
what about Ami?"
"Last night, she confessed her feelings for me. I knew I could never
have you, you were too beautiful, too perfect. And besides, I was too
much of a coward to ever tell you how I felt and when she showed me how
brave she was I...couldn't break her heart. Thoughtlessly I kissed her
and told her I loved her. And I was willing to live that lie. But I
knew I would love you forever, no matter who I was with and maybe...I
just wanted someone to ease the pain...even a little. Oh Mina-chan...I
love you so much...it hurts"
Minako wiped a tear from Makoto's face, her hand moved to her chin and
gently lowered her face, the blonde stood a bit on her tiptoes and ever
so gently pressed her lips against the brunette's. They both slowly
closed their eyes and were enveloped by the most wonderful moment of
their lives, the two girls felt an emotional and physical explosion in
their bodies as they parted mouths.
Makoto lowered her hands to Minako's waist and gently pulled her closer,
she could feel her body tense up with excitement. The blonde wrapped her
arms around the taller girl's neck and kissed her harder. Minako
shivered as she felt the brunette reach under her shirt and begin to
gently stroke her stomach. The smaller girl timidly slid her hands down
onto Makoto's chest who intensified their kissing, she began to slowly
slide her hand up Minako's stomach and hesitated before shyly placing it
on the girl's firm and aroused breast.
The blonde moaned as she felt her body burst with heat, unconsciously
she felt her hand slide over the taller girl's breast and down to her
stomach, there she reached under her shirt and caressed the skin beneath
it. Makoto began to fondle the breast in her hand, her fingers traveled
on top of Minako's bra then under it where she could feel her hardened
nipple, gently she stroked it. The shorter girl moaned louder as her
hand continued up and onto the brunette's uncovered breast, she felt a
powerful surge of electricity run down her body as Minako tenderly
caressed her hardened nipple.
The brunette slid her other hand down onto the blonde's leg, she reached
under the girl's skirt and began to slide her hand up and down her
thigh. Minako increased her movements when she felt Makoto's hand slowly
glide into her inner thighs, she willingly parted her legs a bit to
allow entry. The taller girl traced her fingers over the blonde's wet
underwear, she stayed there a bit before tugging fabric away and
tenderly inserting two fingers inside. She gradually massaged Minako who
moaned passionately, her entire body tensed up at the touch of her
lover's skin against her most intimate parts.
Without interrupting their kissing, Minako released the brunette's
breast and began to hastily unbutton her pants, after unzipping them she
steadily slipped her hand into Makoto's underwear and began to fondle
her moist area. The taller girl groaned feeling she could no longer
breathe, she regretted it but tore away from the blonde's lips and
rested her head on her shoulder panting.
The two embraced each other with their free arms, both girls moved
accordingly to their stimulation, each finding their own special spot.
Minako began to unabashedly moan while Makoto panted and groaned.
The brunette tightened their semi embrace "Mina-chan...I love you..."
she managed to whisper in between breathes.
"Mm...Mako-chan...I love you too...don't ever let this stop...I love you
so much...mm..." Minako whispered back before gasping, she knew
something big was about to happen.
The two resumed their kissing as they felt a rising force in their
bodies, they pushed their bodies together as close as they could, their
muscles contracted as the powerful force would soon reach it's peek.
Both girls increased their hands movements, faster and faster.
Minako felt her entire body explode with pleasure, she moaned into
Makoto's mouth who was experiencing the same eruption rack her body, the
two girls contracted their muscles and trembled with the greatest
pleasure and emotion of their lives. The incredible release shook them
for what felt like hours, minutes after they both felt their bodies
relax, the two panted still holding each other. Tears began to run down
the blonde's cheek and onto the brunette's neck.
Makoto felt the drops slide down her neck, at first she suspected they
were sweat but then realized Minako was whimpering "Mina-chan? Why are
you crying?" she asked feeling tears form in her eyes as well.
The blonde kissed the taller girl's neck "Don't worry...I'm okay...I'm
just so happy and so sad at the same time...it's strange" she whispered
before giving Makoto a soft kiss.
"Why are you sad? Do you regret what we did?" the brunette asked feeling
herself cry, fear ran through her heart at the thought of hurting the
person she loved the most.
"No! It was the happiest moment of my life! Mako-chan...you are my
definition of happiness and love, of everything that is important in my
life, just being with you like this has changed me completely, I love
you"
"I love you too, we can finally be together, forever. But please tell my
why you're so sad? Aren't you happy we'll spend the rest of our lives
together?" Makoto sobbed, her throat tightened and burned, fear of loss
wracked her mind.
"I want to spend my life with you! It's all I've ever wanted! But it's
too late...we missed our chance...you're with Ami now and I can't come
between you two"
"I don't love her! I love you! I want to be with you!"
Minako wiped a tear from the brunette's face "I know you don't love her
but she loves you"
Makoto took Minako's hand in hers "So? I'll tell her I don't love her
because I love you! And you love me!" she cried feeling desperate.
"Don't be selfish Mako-chan, at least...at least we have tonight..."
Minako broke into tears as she dug her face into the taller girl's
chest.
"I don't want tonight! I want forever..."
"I'm sorry...I can't...we can't do that to Ami..."
Makoto grabbed Minako's arms and shook her "Why not?! We can finally be
happy! We LOVE each other! Is there anything greater than that in the
world?!" she shouted unintentionally losing her temper.
"It feels that way but...there are equally important things we have to
think of, no matter how much we want it, how much we need it...we can't
be together..."
Makoto embraced the shorter girl "No...Mina-chan...No...please don't do
this to me! I can't...I just can't!" she cried.
Minako released herself from the brunette and firmly cupped her face,
she stared at the sobbing girl as seriously as she could trying to hold
her own tears "Mako-chan! Listen to me! Please just listen! I know how
much it hurts and I know how much you want this, I want it just as much
but think of Ami, think of how much it's going to hurt her to find out
you don't love her. Imagine if tomorrow I were to tell you that I'm in
love with Rei, how would you feel? It isn't fair to her, you already
told her you love her, you just can't...take it back. It's not your
fault, it's ours, we never managed to say how we truly felt and now...we
have to face the consequences" she said watching a glimpse of
understanding in the other girl's eyes.
"If she really loves me she'd understand"
"I'm sure she would, but what about the others? You guys already
confessed to them, don't you think Rei and Usagi would be angry if we
hurt Ami like that? We have to think of our friends, of the team, our
duty as Sailor Scouts. Our happiness can't come before them or our
destiny. Mako-chan, you have the biggest heart in the world and I just
can't keep it all to myself. I love you more than anything in the world
and I always will...tonight was the most incredible thing that has
happened to me and nothing will change that. And I know...not being with
you...will be unbearable and will hurt...so much...but at least we'll
always have tonight..." the blonde whimpered, she gave Makoto a long
passionate kiss...the last kiss, the two then embraced in silence never
wanting to let go.
"I love you Minako-chan. I always will. My heart is yours and no one
else's, never forget that no matter who I'm with...I love you..." Makoto
whispered still feeling tears run down her face.
"I love you too, I can't be your friend, I can't be your lover but I
will wait for you until my last breathe...I promise" Minako said pulling
away to look into the brunette's glistening eyes.
Makoto slightly smiled "So where does that leave us?"
"Forever lost"
End (or is it?)
______________________________________________________________________
Final note: CHEESE!! I love CHEESE!! So cheesy!! Yay! Finally did my
first lemon fic, hope the people like it! I wanted this to be both
Makoto's and Minako's first sexual experience so I guess it wasn't that
HOT like most lemon fics but I still feel pretty good about it, anyway
If you liked it or hated please review I love reviews, bad or good!
Till next time! Bye!
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