I've Always Been Alone
"Miss, it's getting late." The Nurse said as she began to turn down the
lights in the hospital room, turning the room into a greyish cell of
sterile futility. "Time to go to sleep."
Megu smiled softly and nodded. "I know...I just want to wait a bit
longer...the stars look lovely tonight, don't they?"
"Yes..." The Nurse sighed impatiently, "I'm sure they do, but you should
still get some rest. Your body needs the rest."
The Nurse looked at Megu as sternly as she could, hoping to pressure her
a little into lying down. However, Megu just smiled the same sweet
loving smile she had always given her...the smile that said... "There's
nothing to worry about...I won't ever be 'better' anyways". The nurse
hated that look - it hurt so much each time she saw it.
She sighed, "Just try to get some sleep okay, Dear?"
Megu giggled softly as the nurse closed the door, leaving her alone.
The nurse was a wonderful woman....and she only wanted the best for
Megu. However, Megu had little time left in the sand timer, and she
treasured each falling grain of sand like gold.
She gazed longingly out the window for a long period of time, and then
sighed softly. "Maybe she's not coming tonight...Oh Suigentou...I hope
wherever you are, you're finding what you seek."
She lay down on the spotless white bed and rest her tired head back on
the flat cold pillow. The drugs, which she had taken an hour ago with
her evening tea, were having their affect and Megu found herself giving
into their effects, sending her careening into the valley of
sleep...perchance to dream...
"Good night Suigentou...bless you."
As her breathing changed from erratic to regular, a deep but gentle
breathing of dreamland, a shadow crossed the window frame and lifted the
pane upwards - sliding underneath it in one fluid fast movement. It
floated gently like a feather onto the bed of the sleeping girl.
The doll with dark purple and black garments stared down at the sleeping
girl, her blood red eyes shining in contrast to her pale white skin.
The paleness of her skin also showed a red mark which had been her only
real acquisition of the evening.
The doll clutched her face and growled "Damn you Shinku! That hurt! I'll
make you pay for that....ten times... I won't let you get away with
this!"
Megu groaned a little in her sleep, and the doll froze, going silent for
a moment.
"Suigentou-chan..." She murmured and pulled the blanket tighter to her
frame, as if some chill were pouring over her body.
The doll shivered herself, but not from cold, but fear. Fear of what
she should could or would do.
"Megu..." She softly said. "Megu...."
She looked down at the young girl laying there, forgotten, left to
die... just another failure the humans would rather forget...just like
herself. The doll rubbed her midsection...feeling the hollow where
her stomach should have been...the emptiness there filling with grief
and sadness as she gazed on the sleeping girl's face.
She slowly floated herself to the foot of the bed, sat there...and she
began to sing softly...
~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o
Ne Megu...Sweet Megu...
Drifting off to sleep.
You're a sad forgotten daughter,
And a lost and lonely sheep.
I'm sure you'll dream about
All the things I've seen and done.
But if you only knew
all that I've been through
Dear...you're not the only lonely one.
Ooooh...I've been to France,
And I watched people dance...
While I sat in the dark alone...
I pushed myself farther
Just to please a Father
I never got a chance to know.
But I turned my back on light
And embraced the night
And turned my heart to stone
Yes I've lived a thousand lives
But I've always been alone.
Please Megu....Please Megu....
Don't wake up just yet.
For I've still some things to tell you
Of sins I'd rather forget.
I can see such loneliness
in your sad and dying eyes.
Let me share a song
Before tonight is gone
Let us share this last sunrise.
Oohh...I've danced twilight skies
crawled through sewer pipes
and never questioned the cost
I never cared about the price
As long as I won the fights
Yet every victory was a loss
Cuz I've spit in the face of
those who offered me love
Yet it was I who needed them most.
Yes I've broke a thousand hearts
But I've always been alone.
Hey Megu...
You know what 'victory' is?
It's a joke.
It's a lie we tell ourselves
when we don't know where else to turn.
You know what my victory is?
It's that soft smile you always give me.
It's when I come back here at night.
And still have you to sing to me...
That's victory...that's truth....
I've even fought my sisters
And stood there smiling...
while they died at my feet.
I stole their lives
I never knew I'd
be broken by their defeat..
I've told a million lies
I've watched beauty die,
Wishing their beauty was my own,
Yes I've sailed a million dreams
But I've always been alone.
Yes, I've lived a million dreams...
But I'll always be... alone.
~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o ~\o
The doll then sighed and looked one more time at Megu. She stroked the
sleeping girl's forehead and then went to her suitcase, clicked it open,
wiped a tear away and closed the case down for the night.
On the bed, Megu's eyes opened - full of tears and she whispered.
"You're not alone more... Suigentou. You're not alone."
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