Feedback is welcome. This is my first fic so be sure to be extra merciless to help break me of any bad habits I've got. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Ukyo let out a sigh as she took down her sign, bringing the business day to an official close. It wasn't the number of customers that was disappointing, business had actually been picking up, but the lack of one particular customer. All during the evening rush she'd been keeping an eye out for the little red head, but he didn't show up, even after she'd invited him over for some free okonomiyaki at school today. It'd been to long since she'd really seen him, what with that craziness over in China. Unlike some people she had a business to run and couldn't be taking off on extended leave whenever she felt like it. And just when Ranma got back, Soun and that miserable excuse for a father tried to force their children together using Nanniichuan as a bribe. True, she'd seen Ranma at the 'wedding', but that didn't really count; he'd quickly been knocked out from all the explosives that had been flung around. "Ugh, should've sent Konatsu out to do this," thought Ukyo as she defiantly struggled against the howling wind to get back to her restaurant, one hand clutching her sign and the other raising her giant spatula to ward off the driving rain. A sudden flash of lightening lit up the dark street and Ukyo caught a glimpse of something small lying in a nearby gutter. Hesitating only a moment, Ukyo trudged over. Thunder rolled overhead as Ukyo's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a familiar and unmoving animal. "What's that stupid gaijin bimbo doing here? It'd serve her right if I left her out here..." but Ukyo found herself wedging the cat in between her body and the sign carrying arm. Bringing her face up close to check for injuries, Ukyo was assailed by the unmistakable stench of alcohol. "God, you stink Shampoo! How much did you have to drink?" Ukyo's annoyance quickly changed to worry, then alarm, as she noted Shampoo's unnaturally clammy skin and lack of breath. Just as Ukyo concluded that Shampoo was dead, the cat took in a shallow, ragged, breath of air. "Jackass! Don't scare me like that!" yelled Ukyo as she dashed toward her restaurant with the comatose cat. She was thankful to see Konatsu holding the door as he waited for her. "Is something wrong Ukyo-sama?" asked Konatsu as he noticed her breakneck speed and worried expression. "This stupid gaijin bimbo gave herself alcohol poisoning I think," explained Ukyo as she tossed her sign and giant spatula aside and waved an intoxicated cat at a puzzled Konatsu. The cat responded by puking on Ukyo. "Shampoo you jackass! I'm trying to help you here!" yelled Ukyo as she set the cat on a nearby table and started drying her off with napkins. Konatsu was now very confused, until he remembered that Nerima had some weird people in it, some of whom were aquamorphs. Using his ninja skills Konatsu pulled a boiling teakettle out of nowhere and poured it on the cat, causing him to pass out from sudden blood loss. Unfortunately for Ukyo, when Shampoo transformed she found her hand in an embarrassing spot (no, not there, that would be a very embarrassing spot). Before she could remove her hand, Shampoo instinctually grabbed it and gasped "Ah...Airen!" Ukyo blushed, then blushed furiously as she noticed the recovering Konatsu staring wide eyed at her and the now moaning Shampoo, who was doing interesting things with Ukyo's captured hand. "This isn't what it looks like!" yelled Ukyo as she franticly waved her free hand in denial, not that it did any good; Konatsu had fallen unconscious from blood loss again. "Ohh...Airen...AIYAHH! You no Airen! What pervert gi.. spatula girl doing to me!" screamed a now conscious Shampoo. "Hey! You're the one was holding my hand there! All I was trying to do was save your drunk ass! What the hell were you doing getting so wasted?!" "Lying spatula girl! Shampoo no drink that much! Spatula girl knock out Shampoo to do ecchi things. Die!" With that Shampoo lunged at Ukyo. Shampoo was faster and stronger than Ukyo, plus Ukyo wasn't trained in hand to hand combat. None of which made up for the fact that Shampoo was rather drunk. Ukyo didn't even need to sidestep. A moment later the naked amazon lay in an undignified heap amongst the remains of a table. Recovering quickly, she attempted to pull her trusty bonbori out of nowhere, but apparently she'd lost nowhere along with her clothes, or perhaps she was to drunk to access nowhere, either way, the only thing she accomplished was making Ukyo snicker. Ukyo's snicker died in her throat as Shampoo started growling and the restaurant filled with a menacing battle aura. "Uh oh," thought the now sweating Ukyo. While she wasn't too worried about herself, she could dodge Shampoo's drunken attacks all night, the thought of how much property damage a raging drunk amazon could do was appalling. The restaurant was finally back in the black after that incident where she'd foolishly let Akane, Ranchan, and Konatsu try and run the place. Before Shampoo could launch another attack her vision was obstructed by something being pulled over her head. "KUNICHOI ULTIMATE NOSEBLEED DEFENSE TECHNIQUE: SHIRT SWAP!" Yelled a close eyed Konatsu as he quickly dressed Shampoo in his ninja top. "Gomen Xian Pu-san," apologized a now topless Konatsu as he surveyed his handiwork. He quickly looked away, a new trickle of blood running from his nose. His technique didn't quite live up to it's "ultimatness". While he probably wouldn't pass out again, the ninja top was not a good fit. Shampoo had a lot more mass in certain areas than the small ninja, resulting in a tight fit that wasn't quite long enough for Konatsu's comfort. "Please don't hurt Ukyo-sama," pleaded Konatsu. "She really did bring you in as an unconscious cat. I think when your body shrunk the alcohol became more concentrated, thus causing you to have a lethal amount in your bloodstream," explained Konatsu as he interposed himself between the glowing Shampoo and Ukyo. There was a tense pause, then Shampoo's battle aura deflated. Ukyo let out her breath in a sigh of relief, then launched into an angry tirade, "Thanks Shampoo. I go and save your life and all you can do is call me a pervert and try and kill me!" "Shampoo sorry Ukyo," mumbled a mollified amazon. "Huh?" that was the last thing Ukyo expected to hear from her rival. "Say Shampoo sorry. Ukyo save life. Shampoo try take Ukyo's. That no right." Shampoo's eyes began to tear up and she collapsed onto her knees. "Uh, hey, look...its not that big a deal Shampoo...just a little misunderstanding...I'd be pretty mad too if I woke up with some one, uh, you know... Hey, Shampoo, you hungry? I'll cook us up some okonomiyaki." Konatsu, convinced that Shampoo was no longer going to try and kill Ukyo-sama, decided to go take a cold shower and retire for the evening before he became anemic. As Ukyo fired up the grill Shampoo hesitantly took a seat by it and looked awkwardly at her lap. Finally she blurted out, "Why Ukyo be so nice?! Shampoo no ever nice to Ukyo, Shampoo always mean. Shampoo no deserve nice!" "Yeah, you've been an ungrateful bitch, but whether you deserve it or not I feel a little sorry for you. You want to talk about what got you so upset that you nearly killed yourself?" "Thanks Ukyo," mumbled Shampoo, "Thanks for saving Shampoo, and nice to Shampoo. First thing love of Ranma was nice when Shampoo no deserve," at this Shampoo eyes went into dreamy nostalgia mode, but the look was quickly replaced by one of regret. "Shampoo sorry so mean to Ukyo before, *sigh* Shampoo...sorry for lots now." Shampoo slumped down on her stool, rested her chin on the counter, and reached out for her glass, except she wasn't in the bar any more so all her grasping hand found was the now fired up grill. Shampoo let loose with her trademark AIYAH! and many unprintable Chinese expletives (translation: the author is to lazy to go look any up). "Heh, thought only Ryogua was dumb enough to do that. Here's an icepack sugar," said Ukyo as she opened up the freezer and threw an icepack to the amazon. Shampoo tried to catch the icepack, but somehow it slipped past her hand and knocked her upside the head. Amid a shower of ice Shampoo toppled off her stool and crashed to the floor. "Oops, sorry Shampoo. Forgot your coordination's shot to hell right now." "You do that on purpose." Ukyo couldn't help but giggle as she looked down at Shampoo's pouting face and ill dressed form sprawled across the floor. Soon Shampoo joined the chef in her fit of giggles. As the two girls laughter died down Shampoo accepted Ukyo's outstretched hand and unsteadily got back on her stool. Ukyo placed a second icepack in Shampoo's hand and then returned her attention to the grill. Shampoo watched the chef work her magic in amazement. She worked so quickly, but not at the expense of quality noted Shampoo as the batter come down in two perfectly even circles. The look of absolute focus on Ukyo's face was as captivating as the artistic precision of her handiwork upon the okonomiyaki. A flick of her spatula sent the okonomiyaki up in the air, then with a dramatic flourish and triumphant smile she applied the final strokes of sauce. Shampoo gasped, fearing that Ukyo's masterpiece would be ruined on impact, but at the last moment the chef nonchalantly slid a plate down the counter. It skidded to a halt just in time to catch the still sizzling okonomayaki in front of Shampoo. She couldn't help but applaud the performance and smile at the genki kanji Ukyo had drawn in the middle. "Wow! Ukyo love making miyaki stuff, neh?" "It's o-ko-no-mi-ya-ki." "Whatever." "But yeah, I guess I really do get into it," said Ukyo as she wiped off a bead of sweat and flicked back a stray hair. Shampoo's lids lowered, surprised that such a little movement could make Ukyo seem to sparkle so. "Whenever I start cooking it's like the rest of the world disappears and there are no worries. I'm carefree, just like when I was a kid. Okonomiyaki's always been a part of my life. Every morning I'd wake up to that comforting heat from the grill and be greeted by the scent of father's cooking. Even before I could walk I was learning how to cook." "My earliest memory is of sitting in my dads lap and making these baby sized okonomiyaki with a set of miniature spatulas I'd got for my birthday. They were the only present I'd got that day because my mom's medical expenses had put us in debt, but I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. When I'd finished cooking Mom insisted on getting up to see over Dad's objections that she should stay in bed. She told me the pictures in the sauce were really cute and that she was so proud of me, that when I grew up she was sure I'd be a great chef or artist. She asked if she could please have one and I remember being so proud when she said it was the best okonomayaki she'd ever tasted. I asked her why she was crying and she said it was because she was happy, so happy that she'd got to have a wonderful child like me... Hey! Whatcha lookin at!" Ukyo nostalgia suddenly broke as she became self conscious of Shampoo gazing at her with chin resting in the palm of her hands. "N-nothing! said a suddenly self conscious Shampoo, "Ukyo...voice just was much entrancing." Ukyo gave Shampoo a funny look so the blushing amazon quickly added, "Just surprising, Ukyo voice usually real annoying and whiny, like blah blah Jackass! blah blah Ranma mine blah blah stupid gaijin bimbo blah blah blah. Must be pretty memory make voice sound nice." "At least I don't sound like some stupid little spoiled brat who can't even use pronouns correctly," huffed Ukyo. "...um, Shampoo always wonder, where Ukyo's parents now? Unusual live lone." "...Mom didn't want to ruin my birthday. S-she held out until I'd went to bed..." An awkward silence descended as this new piece of Ukyo made Shampoo feel the bittersweetness of her precious memory. Shampoo was surprised to find that she could tear up for someone else. She knew she should say something, but by the time she'd dried her eyes and looked up Ukyo's back was turned and it seemed to awkward. "I grew up pretty fast. I've always been independent. Dad already had a steady clientele down in Kyoto when I finally tracked down Ranma and his old man, we didn't want him to lose another business to them so I headed to Nerima alone. I'd already learned everything I could from Dad and we both felt I could take care of myself. Now that my business is doing well too it just hasn't made since for either of us to move in with the other." "But... don't Ukyo get lonely?" "Well, yeah, sometimes it gets a little lonely, but... hey! Why are the hell are we talking about me anyway?! Our okonomiyaki is going to get cold if we keep yapping. Let's eat!" Shampoo hesitantly raised her chopsticks to her mouth and slowly chewed the unfamiliar food. "Is...is much good!" said a surprised Shampoo after she swallowed the first bite. "Ukyo good cook...better than Shampoo." Ukyo stared at Shampoo in shock, chopsticks frozen in mid descent. The amazon didn't notice as the first bite of food had awoken her hunger and she was now devouring her food ravenously, sans chopsticks. All to quickly her food was gone and Shampoo noticed Ukyo staring at her now sauce stained face. Shampoo smiled evilly and then her good hand lashed out toward Ukyo. "Stupid! Never should have let my guard down around her," thought Ukyo as her eyes flinched shut and she braced for the blow, which never came. She opened her eyes and there was Shampoo finishing off the remains of her okonomiyaki. "You should seen face Ukyo," giggled Shampoo as she pointed at the flustered Chef. "Why you little sneak, that was mine!" shouted Ukyo as she dove over the counter and tackled the still giggling amazon. The two knocked chairs and tables over as they rolled across the restaurant floor. Ukyo was surprised at how strong Shampoo was. True, she'd fought Shampoo a couple times, but it had always been with weapons, never hand to hand. Soon Ukyo found herself pinned underneath the amazon warrior, their faces an inch apart. "You're one to talk pig, you should get a look at your face." "All covered in food, yes?" said Shampoo with a mischievous glint in her eye. "You want food, eat food off Sham.... ack!" Shampoo gasped as Ukyo drove her knee into her rivals gut. "Um, no thanks, I'm not really that hungry anyway, could you um, get off me?" said a nervous Ukyo. Ukyo's nervousness changed to desperation as she saw Shampoo's face get a sick expression on it. "Oh fuck! Shampoo don't you dar....... ....." "Um, at least Ukyo get miyaki stuff back?" Ukyo's glowering eyes began to twitch. "Get...Off...Now." "Sorry," whispered Shampoo as she meekly complied. Ukyo felt her anger melt as Shampoo once again started to tear up. She was surprised that she wasn't getting any satisfaction at seeing her usually so cool and controlled rival break down. "It's okay sugar, its not like you did it on purpose," said Ukyo as she took off her stinking shirt and headed over to the sink. As she was washing it out Shampoo asked, "Ukyo have any sake?" "Not for you, you're wasted enough as it is sugar. Besides, it won't make whatever's hurting you stop, just make you lose sight of it for a little while. What kind of amazon are you anyway, running away to a bottle like some weak man instead of facing your problem?" Ukyo could feel Shampoo's battle aura start to flare up behind her, then just as quickly die down. "Ukyo right, Shampoo coward, no want to see what in front of her whole time." "And that is..." said Ukyo over her shoulder as she finished washing off her face and shirt. She had a feeling she knew why Shampoo was so upset, and a part of her was going to enjoy hearing Shampoo admit it. She felt a little guilty, but it was for the best that Shampoo finally got it through her thick head that... "R-ranma...no love Shampoo." * * * Earlier that day... "So, Shampoo, do you think your conduct at the wedding endeared you towards son-in-law?" asked Cologne in a deceptively casual tone as she entered the kitchen where Shampoo was washing dishes from the lunch customers. Shampoo looked nervously at her grandmother and then turned back to the dishes. "O-of course, me save him..." Shampoo stopped as Cologne hopped up in front of her and looked her in the eye. Shampoo looked into the sink as she finished weakly, "...from marry v-violent girl." "Now, now Shampoo, those meek Japs may not look each other in the eye, but we are Amazons, we do not act in such a deceptive and shameful manner." "Where Mouse been! Clean dishes his stupid job! Stupid lazy male! Me go find and put in place!" shouted Shampoo as she tried to quickly leave. She didn't get very far before she got tripped up by Cologne's staff. "No need to do that. I've been debriefing him about what happened over in China. You two are the only Amazons who've seen the Phoenix mountain court and lived to tell about it in over a century. Rather interesting, his version of a couple of events you both witnessed was much more detailed than yours. I don't recall having asked you to skim over important details when I questioned you, or utterly fail to mention that Akane was even there. If you aren't married to Ranma when we return to the village you'll be tried you know. We wouldn't want to add deceiving the matriarch to your list of offenses, now would we?" Despite the still casual tone Shampoo shuddered. "Please, don't make me remember Jusendo," thought Shampoo as she looked pleadingly into her great grandmothers eyes. Ancient implacable eyes glared coolly back at her. While Shampoo was afraid of what her matriarch could do to her for concealing certain events, she was much more terrified of those events. She had been trying to forget them, and when that failed she told herself that they didn't mean anything. But now, seeing her terrified face reflected in those ancient eyes she could no longer deny the horrible truth that those events represented. Ranma, losing all will to live when he thought Akane had died saving him. His tenderness when he thought he had failed to revive her. Shampoo couldn't remember what exactly he said, not that it mattered considering Ranma's aptitude with words. But the emotion and intent behind them had been clear, he was trying to tell Akane how much he loved her. "NOOOOO!! NO! NO! NO! NO! It no true! Damn it! It no true!" shouted Shampoo desperately. "Shampoo, cease this shameful display. It is especially unbecoming for one of my blood and who was my heir," admonished Cologne. Shampoo looked at her grandmother with horror, "G- grandmother... you no serious...!" "I certainly am child. While you have the skills and intelligence, a matriarch can not allow emotions to cloud her objectivity. Someone who will not face up to truth can not be entrusted to make decisions for the tribe. I lost face in front of the elders when you failed to kill Ranma, and will lose face again if you fail to return with him, particularly considering the false claims you've made in the Amazon newsletter. My status in the tribe is fairly secure, but I'm sure you can see that it would be wise to distance myself from your failures." The implications of what Cologne was saying caused Shampoo to collapse from dread. Her own grandmother wasn't going to stick by her once they returned. Last time she'd gotten off easy because of Cologne's intervention. There were many who'd grumbled about the special treatment she'd received and would love a chance to make up for her last punishments leniency. Certainly she'd be stripped of her property and status at the very least. As if losing the one person she had ever loved wasn't enough, now she was going to lose everything else that had given her life meaning. "Please, Grandmother, no do this to Shampoo... you know Shampoo have many enemies back home," whispered Shampoo desperately. "I know Shampoo, you can bet they will be cruel to you if the council strips you of your status. It will be a hard time for you," said Cologne gently, "Though it may seem unbearable you must be strong and never forget of whose bloodline you are. As long as your alive there is hope, I have not selected a replacement heir, if you redeem yourself in the eyes of the tribe your status could be restored." Her Elder's sympathy felt like salt in Shampoo's wound. Outright rejection would be easier to endure than this useless pity. Shampoo's eyes went from soft to hard as a suspicion entered her mind. "How long you know?" "Ever since my duel with Neko-Ranma. It was fairly obvious from his behavior towards Akane when his inhibitions were removed by the cat fist. Why do you think I gave him the Phoenix pill? I probably could have defeated even his cat fist technique, (of course there was a slight chance I might have lost, and considering his lack of moral inhibitions and dislike of me at the time that would have been fatal, added Cologne to herself), but when I realized how Ranma truly felt I decided that forcing him into marriage would be a bad idea. He would bear us too much resentment. So I tried some subtler approaches and left winning him over mostly in your hands, especially after the incident with the reversal jewel revealed that the feelings between them were mutual." "You...know...all this time, and no tell?! Make Shampoo waste time in stupid Japan chasing illusion?!" sputtered an angry Shampoo. Then she did something that she never would have done if she'd been thinking clearly instead of being an emotional wreck. She attacked Cologne. With the predictable result of her flying out of the kitchen .42 seconds later. "Shampoo!" cried a concerned Mousse as he rushed over to his beloved's side. Upon seeing that she was sobbing he realized that now was his chance! He would comfort her and let her cry on his shoulder, after which she would realize her true feelings for him. Shampoo stiffened as she suddenly found her face being forced into Mousse's shoulder. Mousse was experiencing to much bliss from holding Shampoo to note the signs that should've warned him to get the hell away from her as quickly as possible. Such as the low growl in the back of her throat. The cracking of her knuckles. The tensing of her entire body. Or even the battle aura which filled up the restaurant and made his sleeves catch on fire. "Oh, I can feel the flame of your passion Sham..." Mouse never got any farther as Shampoo started slamming him back and forth like a rag doll and then dropped kicked him all the way into next fanfic. Cologne entered the dining room in time to see Shampoo run out through the nearest exit, that being the one she made for herself in the wall. *sigh* "I thought I'd finally taught her to use doors. Oh well, I guess I'll overlook it this one time. Poor thing, tempering can be so painful, but it's for the best." Cologne had noted for awhile that Shampoo harbored a very unamazon romanticism. She was glad that Ranma was such a perfect man for shattering it. Shampoo would learn to deal with losing and that things wouldn't always go her way, valuable lessons which she'd never experienced back in the village. Of course, there was still the problem of how to serve the evening rush without two of her workers. ------------------------------------------------------------------ "Moshi! Moshi!" said a relived voice on the other end of the line. "Don't think I don't see through you! You always let someone else pick up the phone, you lazy baka. Well, this stir fry I cooked for us isn't going anywhere!" this voice in contrast was quite irritated. "Greetings son-in-law, I've a favor to ask of you and Akane." "A favor?" replied a wary Ranma. "Yes, Shampoo and Mouse have... suddenly become unavailable. I was wondering if you two could temporarily fill in." "Sure," said Ranma quickly, as if he was grabbing onto a lifeline, "I'll be at the Cat Caf, right away." KLONK! Cologne flinched sympathetically from the sound of a wok colliding with the back of a skull and the sizzle of hot oil on flesh. "Stupid uncute tomboy, ya said the stir fry wasn't going anywhe..." Cologne could well imagine Akane's look of betrayal and rage that had made her foolish fianc, fall silent. "H-how could you! After I worked so hard to make us a nice meal, y-you go run off to that hussy's restaurant!" "W-wait Akane, it's not like that, ya see...um, wait, I guess it's sorta like that... um, what I mean is..." unfortunately Ranma's brain was short circuiting as it always did around crying females. "I DON'T CARE WHAT ITS LIKE! YOU CAN GO HAVE YOUR DATE OR WHATEVER WITH SHAMPOO FOR ALL I CARE. AT LEAST SHE CAN COOK, RIGHT!" This was accompanied by the sound of someone being drop kicked through the roof. Cologne hung up the phone with one hand and caught Ranma right before he hit the floor with the other. "Well, that was quick son-in-law. Your old uniform from when you used to wait tables is in back, go change," before Ranma could protest Cologne added, "and I'll let Akane know what's going on and whip you both up something to eat before the evening rush hits." Ranma opened his mouth to say that he'd straighten that stupid tomboy out himself, but then realized that Akane would never listen to him and that he'd just make things worse. "Agarito gazaimus," said Ranma sincerely as he bowed to the elder, and then with a mischief smirk added, "old ghoul." "Who you calling old ghoul, son-in-law," said Cologne with mock annoyance as she took a swing at him with her staff. Ranma easily dodged with a backwards flip. "Ha! looks like your age is finally catching up to you granny. That was so slow I could have dodged it in my..." *SPLASH* *CRASH* Ranma looked up in time to gulp as a mop handle thrust like lightning to within a millimeter of her throat. "As long as your knocking over soap buckets you might as well as well clean the floor. Now go finish changing son-in-law." Cologne chuckled as Ranma grabbed the mop and stormed into the kitchen. He was an impertinent young fool, but that's what Cologne liked about him. It had been so refreshing to find someone who wasn't tactful around her and wouldn't be intimidated. She was going to miss him. Even if he wouldn't acknowledge it he'd always be family to her. Hopefully he cared enough for them that he'd at least help Shampoo fulfill the spirit of the law if not the letter. ------------------------------------------------------------------ "R-ranma no love Shampoo." "What took you so long?" said Ukyo derisively, forgetting tact in her moment of triumph. Then she noticed Shampoo's silent tears and mentally slapped herself. "Ukyo, you jerk. How would you feel if you found out Ranchan didn't love you?" Ukyo shuddered at the emptiness the thought brought and quickly shoved it away. "Shampoo needs someone to console her, not rub her face in it." Shampoo took a good look at Ukyo and then threw back her head in a bitter laugh that made Ukyo's skin crawl. "You think Ranma Ukyo's now, hehheh, you no get. Ranma no love Shampoo, Ranma no love Ukyo, cause Ranma love violent girl." Ukyo let loose her own nervous laughter and folded her arms over her bandaged chest. "You've gotta be kiddin sugar. You ever watched those two? They're always arguing and hitting each other. The only reason they're together is because of some promise Ranchan's lousy father made, as if those are worth anything. Ranchan's old man only wants to mooch off the Tendo's and get the training hall. That way his son can support him and he won't ever have to get off his fat ass and do any real work. Eventually the Tendo's will wise up and kick that worthless free loader out and end that farce engagement. Then Ranchan will be all _mine_ ! Mwhahahaha!" "Shampoo seem remember Ukyo and Shampoo get mad at Ranma and hit too. Not as much as violent girl, she spend more time with Ranma so get much annoyed by him more. Of course me only see times when we both with Ranma, Shampoo much yell and hit Ranma when you no around." Ukyo had to admit that Shampoo had a point, she could think of numerous times she'd smacked Ranma and got annoyed with him when Shampoo hadn't been around to witness it. She really couldn't claim much high ground over Akane there. "Ukyo was no at Jusendo. No see what Shampoo see. Akane give life for save Ranma. Ranma think Akane dead, give up living. Then kill god for her. Try tell how much love her when think fail to save. Shampoo no want admit, but no longer can deny. Ranma love Akane, Akane love Ranma." Shampoo's tone was so grave and final that Ukyo found herself unable to deny her darkest fear. She wanted to think it was some deception of Shampoo's, but she wouldn't lie about something that meant Ranma didn't love her. What finally convinced Ukyo though was the haunted sincerity in Shampoo's eyes. "No," whispered Ukyo with desperation as she felt the emptiness she had buried earlier resurface. "Shampoo sorry Ukyo, wish not true, but is. Know how feel, dreams all shatter, leave big empty hurt much place." Ukyo's throat grew tight and a dull pain started in her chest. "No, I'm not going to cry over that jerk again," thought Ukyo. But then a gentle hands touched her shoulders and Shampoo whispered, "Ukyo no have to hold in, is okay to cry." Before she knew it she was sobbing into Shampoo's shoulder as the amazon enfolded her in a gentle embrace. As Ukyo let loose her tears Shampoo stroked Ukyo's hair (undoing her ponytail in the process) and murmured "it okay," over and over. It felt surprisingly good to comfort Ukyo. Shampoo remembered how horrible it had been when realization had struck and there had been no one there for her (well okay, there was Mousse, but he didn't count), except the nearest bar. Ukyo wouldn't have to face the pain alone. And it felt nice being close to someone with out them trying to break free like Ranma always did. After a few minutes Ukyo regained her composure and Shampoo reluctantly let her go. "T-thanks Shampoo," said a puffy eyed Ukyo, "I'm sorry about going all to pieces like that." "No problem," said Shampoo, brushing it aside. Then her tone become a conspiratorial whisper as she asked, "Ukyo get out sake now?" "Heh. Sure, why the hell not." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Ukyo was feeling a bit more relaxed now that she and Shampoo had passed the bottle back and forth a couple of times. She was finally ready to start talking about that jerk. "Ya got it lucky sugar, you'll get over Ranma easy. You were just in love with him cause that stupid law of yours." Shampoo snorted and turned up her nose. "Ukyo stupid one, not law. Law make much sense." "Oh sure, Shampoo, if you're beat by a girl kill her, but if it's a man you marry him, that's so primitive." "Ukyo no disrespect Amazon law! Ukyo think me and ways so stupid, but Ukyo one make ignorant talk!" yelled Shampoo as she slammed her fist on the counter, causing it to crack. "You wonder why 'primitive' Amazons survive in fertile land when surrounded by you 'civilizeds'? All tribes have land you 'civilizeds' want be massacred, cept us," said Shampoo proudly, "cause wise ancestors know we need be strong and defend land from greedy ones who grow with no limits." "Ukyo know survival of fittest? Amazon law weed out weaker females. Bring in new, stronger blood, keep from stagnating. Bring new ideas and fighting styles. Mating with foreigners keep us from being destroyed by Rome brought Plague of 161, unlike American Indians. Laws do other useful things to, but if no for them Amazons no would have been strong enough to defeat all who try destroy us in past and all who try in future. So how law stupid Ukyo?" said Shampoo leaning over the counter and getting right into Ukyo's face. Blink, blink. "Uh, since when did you know so much Shampoo?" "What Ukyo think, Shampoo stupid just cause no speak like you?" Ukyo flinched at Shampoo's on target accusation. "Hhmph. You not only one. Over hear "stupid gaijing bimbo" all time. Like see how well Ukyo speak Chinese after only there little while. Shampoo is... h-heir to matriarch, no can be stupid to do that. Shampoo know lots of things, do some reading in spare time. And no just mind dulling manga, real print books." "Well, I guess I can't call you a _stupid_ gaijing bimbo anymore," smirked Ukyo. "Who Ukyo call bimbo? Shampoo been faithful to Airen," shouted an indignant Shampoo. "Come on Shampoo, you dress like such a slut. I mean just look at yourself now," said Ukyo as she eyed Shampoo's current attire, which due to its small size only partially covered Shampoo's bush of purple hair and squashed her breasts in a rather lurid manner. Before Shampoo could protest that this wasn't her fault Ukyo continued, "And there our all those times you go flashing your naked body or don't bother wearing any bras or panties so everyone can see you bouncin around. You might as well have "Fuck me Ranma" written all over you." "Not all Shampoo fault! Stupid pervert boys or old pervert always stealing panties before Shampoo turn back from cat and get back! Always running out." "Hmm, ever tried not wearing such tempting soft and shiny lingerie?" "Hmmphh," sniffed Shampoo as she turned up her nose at the very thought of it, "Shampoo like silk feel. Assets deserve worthy containers," stated Shampoo arrogantly as she arched her back and leisurely stretched her arms over her head. It was with satisfaction that she noted Ukyo staring at her. "Amazons no "bimbos." Just different culture, different dress standard, smart one like comfy and practical. Which flat chest ninja girl top no is," snarled Shampoo distastefully as she slowly ripped Konatsu's ninja top down the middle, turning it into a jacket and allowing her breasts to thankfully become free of the confining prison they'd been in. As Shampoo's breasts came to a stop Ukyo suddenly realized she'd be staring and quickly looked away blushing. "Since when where yours that big?" muttered an envious Ukyo, then blushed even deeper when she realized Shampoo heard her. "Ranma and Akane no only ones 'maturing'," smirked Shampoo as she took another leisurely stretch and sighed at how pleasant it felt now that she wasn't so confined. "Stop that!" shouted Ukyo, "Weren't you trying to convince me you _weren't_ some bimbo slut?! Just rub my face in it why don't you?" "Okay!," shouted Shampoo with enthusiastic playfulness. Ukyo suddenly founded her self embraced over the counter into Shampoo's ample cleavage. "Mmmphhhmmm, mmmphhhmm, MPHM!" cried an indignant Ukyo, stopping as she realized that having her mouth open was making this awkward situation much worse as Shampoo made good on Ukyo's suggestion. Ukyo's attempted futilely to break free, but she stood no chance against the perfected art of Amazon glomping. However, once Shampoo felt that Ukyo realized who was in control she eased up and let her break free, eyeing the red faced and panting chef with a sultry smirk. "Shampoo you...you... Jackass!" sputtered Ukyo, "What the hell do you think your doing!" "Was Ukyo sugges...," pointed out Shampoo, as the top of her head got aquatinted with Ukyo's spatula. "HENTAI!" shouted Ukyo at a dazed Shampoo who was seeing stars on the floor. "Hmpphh. Ukyo one talk, what with inhaling Shampoo breast like that..." retorted Shampoo with a little smile as she got back up to her feet And immediately was knocked back down as Ukyo snarled, "Shut up! That was an accident!" "Ok, ok. Shampoo sorry," said Shampoo to the floor she was imbedded in, "Ukyo put away spatula now?" Ukyo's only response was a grunt, but as Shampoo peeked up she saw Ukyo slip the spatula under the counter. Now that the coast was clear Shampoo climbed unsteadily back up onto her stool, the alcohol and ringing in her head making it a difficult task. An short awkward silence followed in which the only sound to be heard was the girls taking swigs from the bottle. Shampoo finally broke it by saying quietly, "Shampoo no fall in love with Ranma cause of law, law no applied." Ukyo kept drinking, but then what Shampoo had said registered and sake spluttered everywhere, "W-WHAT?!" "Ranma no defeat me, Shampoo no attacking him, he no attacking Shampoo. Just try disarm. Shampoo no even realize what Ranma try do, attack from Shampoo blind spot. It not like law make Amazon marry someone who knock out from behind. And Shampoo only stunned moment, take lot to knock out Shampoo. Council would no accept that kiss of marriage if they knew, be very angry with Shampoo. Shampoo no know then that Ranma great fighter." "I can't believe this," said Ukyo darkly, "All this time you... Why would you twist your law to try and trap someone you hardly knew at the time? Actually, this isn't the only time you've played fast and loose with your "vaunted" Amazon traditions is it? I seem to remember back when we teamed up to deal with Mrs. Hinako you gave her the kiss of death. Whatever happened to that sugar?" Shampoo blushed and looked awkwardly at her lap, "Heh, not first time either. Back before Ukyo here Shampoo kiss pervert girl. Shampoo no really meant it, just wanted to scare off so she stop getting in way. Ranma tell Shampoo he really girl to protect Akane, even though it meant that Shampoo must then kill. Airen always so selfless when matters most. *sigh*" "Except you didn't kill Ranchan, what I don't get is why? I mean, what was holding you to her? You'd just met this guy who you didn't know anything about who turns out to be the girl you've been hunting all across China and Japan. That should have killed your groundless infatuation right there." "Not infatuation!" shouted a suddenly angry Shampoo. "Oh come on Shampoo, you'd been there for just a couple days. It's not like you'd been his child hood friend or anything and knew him at all. What else could it be?" "Shampoo did love Ranma," insisted Shampoo softly but fiercely. "Ukyo realize that everything in Shampoo life, all culture and teachings and upbringings say must kill Ranma? And Shampoo know if no kill lose face before tribe and punished by elders?! UKYO THINK SHAMPOO IGNORE UPBRINGING, LOSE STATUS AND RESPECT IN TRIBE AND GET CURSED FOR SOMETHING AS WEAK AS INFATUATION?!!" Shampoo's tone grew louder and louder as she leaned in closer and closer to a sweating Ukyo who was beginning to realize how badly she'd underestimated the Amazon. She'd always considered Shampoo real shallow, never imagining she could be capable of such depth and sincerity of feeling. She'd always seemed like such a self confident care free airhead. Ukyo always envied that about her, that she never seemed to have any angst or suffering or self doubt. To Ukyo's relief Shampoo slumped back on her stool and finished as quietly as she'd began, "Shampoo may no have known him well, but knew her." "W-wait, Shampoo are you... saying... that... um..." stammered Ukyo. "Shampoo need spell out for Ukyo?" sneered Shampoo, "Shampoo fell love with Ranma before ever meet boy type." "..... . . . I-I'd always wondered about that. You'd always make passes and glomp Ranma even if he was a girl and there were other people watching." "Ukyo sound jealous." "WHAT! Why'd I be... j-jealous!" "Cause Shampoo able express affections, no have stupid inhibitions," Shampoo said seriously. Then taking on a leer she added, "Glomp girl Ranma even better than boy, neh? Get rub breasts together." "I wouldn't know," sniffed Ukyo, who was trying to keep her blush from spreading. There was something about the way Shampoo said things that made them to easy to imagine. "Heh, Ukyo should try some time. Make Ranma blush much, she so kawaii then. Hhhmm, Ukyo get much kawaii when embarrassed too." This only worsened Ukyo's blush, causing Shampoo to break out into a fit giggles. It was a bright and bubbly sound, without a trace of contempt in it. Ukyo found it surprisingly infectious and couldn't help but join in and laugh at herself. "Heh, yeah, she is real cute when she gets embarrassed. I'd like to see _you_ blush, or does the amazon princess never lose her cool?" Ukyo was rewarded by a slight coloring of Shampoo's cheeks. "Huh, it does make her look kawaii," thought Ukyo to herself. "Well, Shampoo once see naked Ryogua and ..." Shampoo leaned in and whispered something to Ukyo, who's eyes got real big. "No way! You're exaggerating," said Ukyo in disbelief. "Is true! Shampoo see what with own two eyes, no can forget thing like that!" "Tadima! Sorry I'm late Akari, got a little los..." Ryogua looked around confused. "Um, hello... Ukyo... Shampoo... what are you doing... at Akari's farm... uh... is there something on my pants?" asked Ryogau as he looked down. There was something about the way Ukyo was staring that was making him real nervous. "Oh, wait.... this is a restaurant... I didn't know you'd... um... opened...a new...restaurant...in the country..." Suddenly Ryogau noted the current state of attire of the two girls. A couple of weeks ago he would have passed out, but Akari had been helping him build up his endurance. He did get a nose bleed, but that wasn't the main place blood was rushing. "...we'llbeshuretotryitoutsometimecya!" Ryogua got out of there as fast as he could. The look Ukyo was giving him now was scaring him. There was something weird going on there and he had the feeling he didn't want to know what. He prayed that he found Akari soon, otherwise he was going to have this raging pain all evening. "Man," whistled Ukyo, "Akari sure is lucky." She then looked over at Shampoo, who was holding her beet red face in her hands, and let out a loud laugh. "Ukyo no need be so obvious!" "Well, well. I guess Mrs. No Stupid Inhibitions does have some modesty after all. As if I could help checking it out after what you said." Ukyo took a swig from the sake bottle and basked a bit in finally not being the flustered one. "It must have been tough loving someone you were supposed to kill." "True true. Only Shampoo could no admit at time. Bury love deep down, pretend no there, but it desperately want burst free..." "Wait! I got it! That must have been why you fell for Ranma so quickly! Your repressed love of girl Ranma must have subconsciously noted how similar boy Ranma was and transferred your unacceptable love of the girl you had to kill to the boy using the corollary of the same law as an excuse!" "Oh, I'm so smart!" thought Ukyo as she mentally patted herself on the back for figuring it out ahead of the story. There was a lot more to the Amazon than Ukyo had given her credit for, and she found herself genuinely wanting to know more about Shampoo. In a way it felt like making up for all the times she'd never bothered reaching out to Shampoo and just writing her off as a shallow man grabbing rival. "But how did you ever fall in love with a girl who you had to kill?" Shampoo took a deep breath. "First Ukyo need know about what life like for Shampoo with Amazons. Back then Shampoo was...um..." "A bitch?" suggested Ukyo. Shampoo looked at Ukyo darkly. "Well you were, right? I can just imagine it." Ukyo's voice then took on an exaggerated sing song tone, "Back then Shampoo big bitch. Shampoo sexiest and toughest amazon, not to mention arrogantest, and make sure other amazons no forget. Shampoo rub faces in it and rough up those who forget Shampoo superior everyone else." Shampoo grumbled, "How Ukyo know?" "I just guessed you acted pretty much like you do here." After Shampoo recovered from her face fault she sniffled out, "S-shampoo really s-such a... bitch?" "Hell yeah! Urk" Ukyo suddenly bit her tongue as Shampoo's sniffles increased and she began to tear up. "Damn that girls so emotional tonight. Is it that time of month? Quick Ukyo you jerk, say something fast or you're going to have made her cry." "Hey, Shampoo. Cheer up," said Ukyo as she tilted Shampoo's chin and looked into her watery eyes, "I think you've changed. You haven't really been bitchy tonight. Hell, I've been a lot more bitchy than you. And you know what, you are the sexiest and toughest, just work on not being the arrogantest." "U-ukyo really mean that?" said a starry eyed Shampoo. "Hell yeah!" said Ukyo smiling. "Ukyo think Shampoo sexy!" "Urk! Um...objectively, not per...!" but Ukyo's objections fell on death ears as an exuberant Shampoo threw herself around the stunned chef, snuggled against her, and let out a blissful sigh of absolution. "Ukyo more or less right. Shampoo mother was heir to matriarch, very beautiful and greatest warrior. But cruel Musk warriors torture her, put scars on and injure bad. No able to use legs, no fight, so lose status. Mother determined Shampoo become what mother should have been. Make Shampoo train hard all time." Ukyo wasn't sure she was comfortable with the intimacy of this situation, but she couldn't just push Shampoo away while she was barring her soul. She was speaking so slowly and softly, Ukyo felt that Shampoo needed the strength and safety she was getting from the snuggling to go on. "Shampoo no waste time playing with other children, Shampoo must train and be best. If no best then become like mother. Shampoo see, other amazons either give condescending pity or pick on mother cause low status. But if best no one can hurt or condescend. So Shampoo know must become best. But hard, g-get so lonely, and then... mother try teach bakentetsu..." Ukyo let out a gasp at this, unable to imagine someone inflicting that training on a child, "S-shampoo try so hard please mother... but hurt so much... no can find breaking point... to afraid... hurt to much for concentrate...something wrong inside, things broken... mother keeps yelling at me... don't want to try again... she mad a-and hit me... please no make Shampoo do again..." Shampoo suddenly started sobbing and pleading desperately in unintelligible Chinese to a horrified Ukyo. "Shampoo," whispered Ukyo. "Hey Shampoo! SHAMPOO! Snap out of it! You're safe now, no one's going to hurt you!" Shouted Ukyo as she shook the hysterical amazon. Shampoo's managed to stop her frantic pleadings, but not her gasping sobs. "Hey, you here me? It's ok. No one's going to hurt you," repeated Ukyo as she pulled Shampoo into a fierce protective hug. "No one's going to hurt you." The two of them just stayed like that for a while, Ukyo holding Shampoo close and whispering "It's ok. No one's going to hurt you," over and over as she rocked the sobbing amazon back and forth.
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