Lightning struck Ranma for the fiftieth time. Observing the charred and smoking form of her one and only, Kodachi said hesitantly, "Ranma dearest... perhaps you should refrain from trying to remove the amulet. It seems to be outfitted with some sort of protection device." For a response, Ranma fell forward and was immediately caught by Kodachi. Moaning slightly, the blonde elf buried her face in her companion's neck. "Darling," said Kodachi in a tender endearment as she pressed her lips against Ranma's soft hair. "Will you now stop your attempts to remove that accursed amulet?" When Ranma didn't reply, Kodachi pulled away and saw that the blonde had passed out from her exertions. With a sigh, Kodachi gently pushed some stray strands of hair out of Ranma's eyeline. Then in a smooth movement, Kodachi lifted the other girl and held her against her back. As she made her way out of the building and gave Ranma a piggy back ride home, Kodachi murmured, "It's odd. I never thought I'd ever be unhappy because of jewelry." Whatever Cologne had done to Ranma by giving her the amulet, Kodachi would have to find some way to undo it. Because if she knew her beloved, as soon as Ranma woke up the first thing that she'd try to do would be removing the amulet again. And Kodachi really didn't want to see Ranma get struck by lightning for the fifty-first time. ------------------------------------------------- "Bye everyone!" said Akane as she waved at her soccer teammates enthusiastically. "See you later!" "Bye, Captain Akane-chan!" "Take care, Captain Akane!" "Return soon, Captain Tendo!" "We love you, Captain!" Smiling at all her teammates shouts, Akane turned on her heel and took off in a cloud of dust. In a blurring run, she headed back towards the Tendo dojo. As she ran, Akane focused on reviewing the details of today's soccer practice. They had defeated Tomobiki in the practice match but only by a hundred and seven points. That was one of their lowest victory margins. She was definitely going to have to increase the number of practices for the team. Akane was still contemplating this when she heard the thundering sound of footsteps. That's when she saw a blurred figure run past her followed by about fifty or so guys that she recognized as Furinkan High students. Puzzling over this, Akane came to a halt and watched their departure as she listened to the boys shouts. "Come back, Chocolate!" "Don't be mad at us for wanting to lick you!" "Or eat your milky goodness!' "Chocolate, let us see your tasty filling!" "You're our new goddess!" Blinking as she watched the boys run off, Akane had a vague feeling of deja vu and hoped that this Chocolate person they were pursuing knew how to handle mobs of over zealous and worshipping guys like she did. With a shrug, Akane started her run back to the Tendo dojo. As she went, her mind focused on other things. Namely her sister, Nabiki, and how she was getting along with her new iinazuke, Ryoga. Akane felt somewhat guilty about how she dealt with the new engagement but hoped that Nabiki would take this as a chance to get close to a boy. Besides, Ryoga seemed like a nice person even if he was a bit shy for Akane's tastes. Then again, it'd been quite awhile since Akane had a real boyfriend or girlfriend. Being far too busy with her sports teams and training for them to have one. "I wish that I could meet someone nice," Akane said quietly to himself. "Someone that can understand about my fans." Giving another sigh, Akane rounded the corner and heard the sound of a car coming to a screeching halt. Akane paused to look around and that was when a figure suddenly came falling out of the sky and right towards her. Her light brown eyes going wide, Akane barely had time to take in the figure that was nearing her when it fell into her arms. The impact was so strong that Akane found herself falling back and onto the ground. "Jeez," Akane shook her head. "What was that--" Halting her speech, Akane looked at the figure in her arms with wide eyes. It was an utterly gorgeous girl with long black hair and sculptured features. The girl was passed out but was taking even and steady breaths. "I better take her to the hospital," murmured Akane as she slowly rose to her feet. Cradling the girl gently in her arms, Akane took off in another run but this time was headed for the nearest hospital to get the girl some medical aid. As she went, Akane couldn't help but look down at the girl and admire her stunning looks. She hadn't ever seen anyone as beautiful as the girl that she was holding. Looking at her gave Akane another feeling of deja vu. But why? ------------------------------------------------ "Japanese are very strange," Perfume noted. She was observing, with some humor, as Genma and Soun proceeded to get themselves plastered on a seemingly endless supply of sake they had for themselves. Apparently the two men were celebrating what they felt was now a guaranteed union of their two families and the future of the Anything Goes school through the engagement of Ryoga and Nabiki. But why they felt this way was lost on Perfume. She was just happy that they were leaving Kasumi alone. If there was one thing that made Perfume angrier than anything else, it was the treatment of her Airen that she had observed over the past few days. It was like Kasumi was her family's personal maid and nothing more. This treatment didn't please Perfume at all. In fact, it made her seethe inwardly all because of two things. The first was her status. She was Perfume, the Enforcer of Joketsuzoku. Feared by all who knew her back home in China for not only her skill in combat but her bad temper and tendency to say things more vulgar than any hardened criminal would. The second was Kasumi's status. Kasumi was her Airen. The Airen of the Enforcer of Joketsuzoku. That meant that back in the tribe Kasumi was a very powerful figure. And to Perfume, this meant that Kasumi shouldn't be cleaning up after two drunken louts and cooking meals for a family that didn't even thank her for all her efforts. No, Kasumi should be doing something else. But what? She knew nothing of Kasumi's pursuits since she didn't seem to have one other than pleasing her family. That meant that she'd have to help Kasumi find one. Surely there was something that her Airen enjoyed. Something that she'd want to make a life out of doing. Whatever it was, Perfume was going to find it. Right after she finished watching Genma and Soun sing the seventh chorus of a Hundred Bottles of Sake on the Wall in off key tones. Because for drunken louts they were amusing. ------------------------------------------------ "No worries, Tachi," said Shampoo cheerfully. "Am sure that demo- sister is fine. She seem like... capable girl." Shampoo was sitting on the porch outside of the sitting room with Tatewaki as they both tried to ignore the sounds of Genma and Soun's drinking binge. "She's with that foul Saotome," grumbled Tatewaki. "I'm sure of it. I must rid Kodachi of his influence somehow." "Why not just have de--sister dumping him?" asked Shampoo curiously. "Is too too simple solution." "Because," Tatewaki heaved a sigh. "Kodachi is involved with him and if my memories stand correct, it isn't wise to interfere when she has her mind made up. She was quite adamant in that way as a child." "Oh," said Shampoo quietly. After a moment, she brightened in a smile and tugging on Tatewaki's shirt sleeve she said, "Shampoo have idea to make Tachi happy!" Looking up at the lavender haired Amazon, Tatewaki couldn't help but smile as he asked, "Do you now?" "Yes, Shampoo do," said Shampoo as she beamed. "Why not Tachi spar some with Shampoo? It be fun!" "Fighting would be fun?" Tatewaki asked skeptically. Scowling a bit, Shampoo put her hands on her hips and said, "It help Tachi get mind off sister. That is fun!" "I don't know..." said Tatewaki slowly. "I have never sparred with a female other than my Mistress and--" "You is thinking Shampoo too weak to battle?" asked Shampoo in sharp and arching tones. "Of course not!" Tatewaki exclaimed quickly as he waved his hands in a warding motion. "I was merely saying I have not battled many females. But," he paused to give a soft smile. "It would be an honor to battle you, Shampoo." "Much thanks, Tachi," said Shampoo who had turned a light hue of red at his compliment. Shaking her head, she smiled and bounded to her feet. "Come on! We go and battle in dojo!" Shampoo said as she pulled Tatewaki to his feet. "Yes, Shampoo," said Tatewaki. He trailed after his companion wearing a small smile as he went. Only seconds had passed but Tatewaki was already forgetting his worries about Kodachi's relationship with Ranma. And it was all thanks to Shampoo. ---------------------------------------------- "I don't get it, Dachi," said Ranma. She rubbed the back of her static filled blonde head, the hairs of which were standing on end. "Did this amulet put a curse me or what?" The two were walking back to the Tendo dojo, Ranma having woken up a few minutes after Kodachi left the building where they had their meeting with Cologne. "I'm not sure dearest," Kodachi replied. She formed a thoughtful expression then murmured, "But it's clear that piece of jewelry has some magical properties." "Magic?" Ranma echoed. With a frown, she touched the amulet and said, "I wonder if Mom could--" Before Ranma couldn't finish her statement she got struck by lightning for the fifty-first time. "Darling," said Kodachi with a sigh. "I don't think that you should touch the amulet if that keeps happening to you." "Yeah," Ranma said after a moment. She coughed out a small black cloud then said, "You're probably right, Dachi." Kodachi merely wore a look of satisfaction as they entered the Tendo house and took off their shoes. She paused to listen to the sound of terrible singing then said, "It appears as if the others are having some kind of party." "It's probably Pop," said Ranma as she snorted. "It'd be just like him to get drunk during my time of need." Not replying, Kodachi merely walked towards the sitting room while Ranma got struck by lightning for the fifty-second time. ------------------------------------------------ Pushing through the crowd of people, Ryoga and Nabiki made their way out of the Karaoke Palace with wide smiles on their faces as they did so. Finally escaping the surge of the crowd, the pair dashed down the street as they tried to lose some of their more exuberant fans from the bar. Laughing as they ran, Ryoga and Nabiki slowed in their pace when they lost all of their straggling fans. His eyes twinkling, Ryoga regained his breath and gave Nabiki a fanged smile as he said, "That was fun, huh?" "Yeah," Nabiki agreed breathlessly. "I never thought that singing in front of people would be such a rush." "And the cheers!" Ryoga shook his head. "It was amazing. I never heard anything like it, not even when I did some competing in martial arts tournaments." "It was crazy, wasn't it?" said Nabiki with a smile. "Yeah," said Ryoga as he met Nabiki's eyes. "It was." The two remained silent for a moment as they gazed into each others eyes. After awhile, Ryoga turned a dark red hue and he said quietly, "Nabiki?" "Yes, Ryoga?" asked Nabiki in a whisper as their lips were only millimeters apart. Directing his eyes up towards the sky before closing them, Ryoga coughed then stammered, "Your shirt..." "Huh?" Nabiki blinked. Nabiki looked down at her uniform for Furinkan High and found that somehow the collar to it had been ripped and it now revealed a good portion of her cleavage. Releasing a high pitched squeak, Nabiki hastily covered her chest. She was still covering herself and cursing her stupidity when she heard Ryoga say, "Here, Nabiki." Looking at her iinazuke, Nabiki saw he still had his eyes closed and his face was bright red but in his hand Ryoga held several of the bandannas he wore out to her. "Try using them to fix your shirt," Ryoga explained. Taking the bandannas, Nabiki quickly tied one around her throat and then arranged the others to cover her exposed cleavage. But when she finished, Nabiki paused to study the form of Ryoga who still had his eyes closed. "Okay," said Nabiki after a moment. "All clear." Opening his eyes, Ryoga looked at Nabiki and flushed at the smile that she wore. "I'm sorry," he offered quietly. "For what?" asked Nabiki in puzzlement. "For what happened to your shirt," Ryoga said. He then formed a scowl as he said, "I should go back there and get those guys for doing that. Lousy perverts..." "Tell you what," Nabiki said as her smile widened. "Why don't we do that together? Tomorrow maybe?" Looking at Nabiki in surprise, Ryoga could only blink before he squeaked, "Together?" "Yes, together," said Nabiki in teasing tones. She gave Ryoga a light punch on the arm before she pushed him gently on the back to make him walk forward. "Like what we're doing now. I kind of had fun today, didn't you?" "Yeah, I did," Ryoga admitted softly. "A lot." "So why let our parents dumb idea about an engagement keep from us being friends and having fun?" Nabiki reasoned. "That's pretty stupid, don't you think?" Looking at Nabiki carefully, Ryoga said, "Yeah. It's really stupid." "We have a deal then?" asked Nabiki. "We're both going back there tomorrow to get those guys for what they did to my shirt during that little after show riot." "Definitely," replied Ryoga as he grinned. He paused to offer his hand to Nabiki and said, "Shake on it?" "Of course," said Nabiki with a beaming expression before she took Ryoga's hand and gave it a firm shake. The two then headed towards the Tendo dojo in relative silence before Ryoga said, "Nabiki?" "Yes, Ryoga?" asked Nabiki. "And can we also maybe sing again?" Ryoga asked as he wore a innocent almost puppy dog like expression. Looking at her iinazuke, Nabiki shook her head and couldn't help but smile as she said, "You bet we can." ------------------------------------------------- Chocolate woke up to the sounds of low murmuring and the sight of several doctors hovering over her. "What the heck...?" murmured Chocolate blearily as she started to sit up only to be stopped by one of the doctors. "Stay still, Miss!" the doctor exclaimed. "We haven't discerned what your injuries are so you must be careful." "Injuries?" Chocolate repeated. She rubbed her green eyes and sighed. "But I feel fine. I don't have any injuries." There was a pause and Chocolate looked at the doctors only to find that they were all ogling her. At this she released another sigh before she flopped back onto her bed. Covering her eyes with her arm, Chocolate muttered sourly, "This sort of stuff is starting to really annoy me. Now I know why Shampoo used to get so mad at me." "What are all of you doing here?!" Uncovering her eyes at the sound of an outraged feminine voice, Chocolate observed as a beautiful lady doctor accompanied by an even more beautiful girl wearing a soccer uniform approached her bed with faces of exasperation. Instantly all the male doctors dispersed, yelping and muttering under their breaths as they scurried away. That was when the lady doctor stopped by Chocolate's bed and smiled. "I'm sorry about that," the lady doctor said. "Male doctors are still males and they sometimes get..." "Excited," the girl in the soccer uniform offered. Giving the soccer girl a droll look, the lady doctor said, "Certainly that's one way of putting it, Akane." "Of course!" the soccer girl, whose name was Akane, said in cheerful yet somehow mischievous tones. She directed a worried gaze at Chocolate and asked, "How do you feel?" "Fine," squeaked Chocolate. She laughed nervously and cleared her throat before she said, "I feel fine." "Akane," said the lady doctor as she looked slightly perturbed. "I should be the one asking my patient questions." "Sorry, Umi," said Akane sheepishly. "It's all right," the lady doctor named Umi said with a smile. "Just don't go and steal my job, huh?" Akane giggled at this while Umi turned her attention back to Chocolate. "I'm Dr. Fuyuki Umi, your attending physician." She paused and gave Chocolate a close look as she asked, "Can you recall your name? Do you know who you are?" "Of course," said Chocolate as she blinked. "I'm Mo--" She paused to laugh nervously then said, "Chocolate." "Your name is Chocolate?" asked Umi in skeptical tones as she looked at the girl closely. "Yes, Chocolate," affirmed Chocolate with a fierce nod. "I'm from China. We have different names there." "No surname?" asked Umi. "No," said Chocolate sheepishly. "Like I said before, we have different names back home in China." "Obviously," murmured Umi as she shook her head and wrote the information down on her clipboard. "Well then, Miss Chocolate. You came in relatively unscathed with only bruises but Akane claims you came falling out of the sky and into her arms. Is this true?" "I didn't claim!" Akane protested huffily. "She did come falling out of the sky! I saw it myself!" "Right, Akane," said Umi dryly as she adjusted her small wire rim glasses. "Just like you saw that flying man." "He was flying!" insisted Akane. "He had a big red cape and this big 'S' on chest. It was a neat outfit." "I told you to stop taking those iron supplement pills that your Coach recommends," Umi said. "They tend to make you hallucinate from what I've gathered." Turning red, Akane said, "I wasn't--" "Excuse me?" Simultaneously, Akane and Umi turned to look at Chocolate who wore a wary expression. She offered them a small smile and said, "The last thing I remember is getting hit by a bus. So I guess it's possible I went flying into the air." "You got hit by a bus?" asked Umi incredulously. "Ouch," Akane winced. "That must have hurt." Laughing a bit, Chocolate rubbed the back of her silky black head and said, "Yeah. It sort of did." "How did you get hit by a bus?" asked Akane. "Some guys were chasing me and I was trying to escape from them. I didn't see it coming," said Chocolate before she formed a scowl which made her even more cute. "They just wouldn't leave me alone. When I find them..." "No way did she get hit by a bus," muttered Umi. "Wait a minute," said Akane as she gained a look of sudden recognition. "You said that your name was Chocolate?" "Yes, my name is Chocolate," said Chocolate as she darted her eyes nervously around the hospital. "I saw those guys that were chasing you," said Akane. "I know them, they go to my high school." "A bus! How did you survive getting hit by a bus?!" Umi interrupted as she waved her hands around. Chocolate and Akane slowly turned their attention to Umi and finally Chocolate said, "I bounced a little." "You bounced a little?" repeated Umi in dazed tones. "I know some tricks from back home," Chocolate offered. "The impact didn't really do all that much to me. It's obvious I'm in perfect health. Can I leave now?" Instead of replying, Umi shook her head again and wandered away muttering something about buses and girls who bounce off of them under her breath. "She's a really good doctor," said Akane brightly as she gave Chocolate a wide smile. "But a little weird at times." "If you say so," replied Chocolate wryly. She then paused as she recalled something. "You said that you know those guys who were chasing me?" "Oh yeah," Akane said easily. "They go to my high school. Usually they're chasing after me though. But I can see why they'd chase after you, Chocolate. You're very pretty." Turning bright red, Chocolate said, "No, I'm not!" "Sure you are," said Akane as she tilted her head to one side and observed Chocolate closely. "You must know how pretty you are. In fact, you're probably the prettiest girl that I've ever seen. And you seem really nice too." Not replying, Chocolate ducked her head and flushed slightly. "Thanks," she said softly. "But I'm not pretty." She lifted her gaze and found herself saying, "I think you're much prettier than me." It was Akane's turn to blush and she was about to say something in response when Umi shouted, "It's impossible! I just can't believe that she got hit by a bus, Doctor Yufu!" Akane looked towards Umi and saw her getting into yet another fight with one of her superiors. With a smile, she turned back to Chocolate and said, "Silly, Umi. She alw--" Stopping in her speech, Akane blinked at the sight of an empty bed and a void in where the other girl had been. Her eyes going wide, Akane said softly, "Chocolate?" Locking her gaze on the open window several beds down, Akane ran forward to look out of it just in time to see a blurred figure bounding away on the street below. Watching Chocolate depart, Akane gave an almost wistful sigh as she murmured, "Fast and pretty." ------------------------------------------------ When Ranma recovered from getting struck by lightning for the fifty-second time, she wandered into the sitting room to see Genma and Soun drinking sake. "Just think!" Genma exclaimed. "Soon our schools will be joined and your daughter will be Hibiki Nabiki!" "Yes!" Soun said with a vigorous nod. "And it's such a very good name, isn't it? I'm so happy for her!" "You gotta be kidding," muttered Ranma as she stepped into the room. "That name sounds so du--" The rest of Ranma's statement was cut off as she got struck by lightning for the fifty-third time. "Goodness," said Kodachi. She pressed her hand to her chest in mild surprise, it being mild because she'd already seen this happen fifty-three times before. "We really must do something about that dreadful amulet, darling." "You're telling me?" Ranma said before she lifted her static filled blonde head to look at her girlfriend. "Is that you, boy?" asked Genma as he squinted. "Is it just me or did you just get struck by lightning?" "Lightning? Oh my," Kasumi entered the room and wiped her hands on her apron. "Perfume thought she felt a large electrical discharge but I told her it was just nerves." Hearing her name, the Amazon Enforcer trailed into the room after Kasumi only to freeze on seeing Ranma. Her sapphire eyes going wide, Perfume said shakily, "Legendary slave amulet what take souls freedom of the wearer!" "What?" asked Ranma. "Sounds fancy," Genma commented. "Figures that you'd wear something with a name like that, boy." "It's a warning I should think," said Soun wisely. "Would you two shut up?!" said Ranma before she leapt to her feet and crossed to Perfume. "You know what this thing is?" Ranma asked quickly. "Tell me what it does!" Sniffing at this, Perfume folded her arms across her chest and said, "And why should I be doing that? You is one of demon thieves what rob tribe. I no want be helping you." "Tell me!" Ranma demanded. "I'll pay you! I'll--" Before Ranma could say anything more she got struck by lightning for the fifty-fourth time. "Is slave amulet for sure," said Perfume in superior tones with a hint of humor as she looked at Ranma's charred and crumpled form. "Only that amulet have such powers." While Ranma groaned, Kodachi crossed to the blonde elf and knelt at her side. Stroking Ranma's hair, she looked up at Perfume and said, "I know that you don't favor us. I know that you even hate us. But please, tell us what sort of purpose this amulet serves when placed around a person's neck." Perfume considered this for a moment when a calm soothing voice said, "The slave amulet, as its known, is used as a magical control device. Amongst all the various punishments of the tribe it is one of the most feared because when the amulet is worn the wearer loses all control of their fate and thoughts because of its random actions. The amulet is controlled by the person who programs it with the essence of their life force or chi and only they can remove the amulet from the neck of the wearer. The only other way that it may be removed is through the death of the wearer." "Damn, Kasumi," said Ranma who was recovered and looking at the eldest Tendo sister in awe. "Where did you find out all of that stuff about this funky amulet?" "From reading Perfume's books," said Kasumi with a charming smile. "They're really quite interesting." "They must be since Kasumi read all in one day," Perfume said as she shook her head. Looking back to Ranma, she said, "What Airen say is true. You no can take off amulet and it is controlled by Great Grandmother. Most likely this is punishment for dishonor you did to tribe with stealing." "So she seeks to control Ranma dearest through this magical amulet," Kodachi mused. "Yeah, right!" Ranma snorted. She leapt to her feet and clenched her hand into a fist as she proclaimed, "That'll never work! Saotome Ranma won't be controlled!" Then Ranma got struck by lightning for the fifty-fifth time. The entire group watched Ranma topple over on the floor again, before Perfume said dryly, "That so?" "Now that has to hurt," Soun remarked. "Oh yeah," Genma nodded as he drank his sake. Observing Ranma's twitching form, Kodachi sighed and looked to Perfume. "Isn't there some way that we might convince your Great Grandmother to remove it?" she asked. "Not sure," Perfume pondered. "Would usually say no but Airen is here. I guess now would have to say that you ask her yourself. Great Grandmother not keep motivations secret most times. She tell why she does what she does." "Ugh, what is this foul creature?" Everyone looked to see Tatewaki standing on the open porch to the sitting room with Shampoo at his side. The tall Kendoist was staring at Ranma's very charred form and making a face as he did so. "Thanks a lot, Kuno," rasped Ranma before she rolled over to lie on her stomach. "I appreciate the compliment." "Saotome?" asked Tatewaki. He knelt down in front of Ranma and inspected her female form with his eyes. After a moment he chuckled and said, "An appropriate curse. You don't act as a man truly should so now you're a woman." Ranma scowled at this and was about to make a retort when Shampoo produced a bonbori out of nowhere and gave Tatewaki a hit on the top of his head with it. "Shampoo," said Tatewaki as he looked up at the lavender haired Amazon. "That hurt, you know." "Sorry, Tachi," said Shampoo sweetly. "But you just insulting womans and Shampoo not stand for that." "Ah, yes," Tatewaki said wisely. "I apologize for my mistake in comparing this wretch, Saotome, to all women. It was a horrendous error on my part my dear Shampoo." "That what--" Shampoo paused in her speech as her eyes went wide and backing away nervously, she pointed at Ranma and said, "Legendary slave amulet what is evil!" "Great," said Ranma sourly. "Everybody has horror stories about this stupid piece of junk. Just great." There was a discernible pause and everyone waited for Ranma to get struck by lightning for the fifty-sixth time. Nothing happened. "Ha!" Ranma exclaimed triumphantly. She leapt to her feet and said, "Stupid amulet! You can't beat me! I'm--" Ranma never finished her sentence as she got struck by lightning for the fifty-sixth time. "Interesting," Tatewaki commented as he watched Ranma fall back and onto the floor. "Where he get slave amulet?" asked Shampoo. She turned her attention to Perfume and said, "Cousin?" "Great Grandmother give to him," Perfume supplied. "Am thinking is punishment for stealing from tribe." "Aiyaah," said Shampoo as her eyes went wide. "Is very bad scary punishment. Almost feeling sorry for demon thief for having such a thing be happening to him." She then paused and looked at Kodachi. "Why she not punished?" "Not know," Perfume shrugged. "Maybe is because is sister to your tall boy, Tachi?" Flushing at this, Shampoo darted over to Perfume and hissed, "Is not my Tachi! Why you saying that?" "You be telling me, Cousin?" asked Perfume in very mischievous tones. "Following him around like lost puppy." "Excuse me." Both Amazons froze on seeing Tatewaki hovering over Shampoo's shoulder with a solemn expression on his handsome features. "You said that my sister might be punished as well?" Tatewaki asked. "But the agreement that I made with your Great Grandmother was based on the premise that Kodachi would not be harmed. Would she truly break it in such a manner?" Shampoo and Perfume exchanged a serious look before Perfume replied, "Am not sure." "Don't count me out yet," Ranma said with a groan as she tried to push herself up and out of Kodachi's arms where she had been resting. "I'll get that old ghoul for this." "Of course you will, Saotome," said Tatewaki in smug and humorous tones. "You're in perfect condition to battle with the Matriarch. It's too bad that you just happen to look and smell like a charcoal briquette." Pushing herself to her feet, Ranma wobbled slightly before she gave a wide smile that showed off the white of her teeth that looked odd against her blackened features. "Don't worry," said Ranma confidently. "I'll figure out what that old ghoul is up to and then I'll make it so she has to take this junky piece of jewelry off me." She paused to give a thumbs up signal before she declared, "I won't fail! I'm Saotome Ranma and I always win!" At this statement, everyone in the group exchanged a wary look while Ranma burst into impudent laughter. Mere moments later, Ranma got struck by lightning for the fifty- seventh time. Amazingly enough, it still hurt. ------------------------------------------------ It was a quiet morning and everyone was eating a quiet breakfast in the sitting room around their quiet table. Or at least it was quiet until a scream pierced the air. A very high pitched and feminine scream. Genma and Soun remained where they were and continued eating but most everyone else in the house went running towards the sound of the screaming. This meant that when Ranma walked out of the furo there was a large group of people to meet her. "Ranma dearest?" Kodachi was the first to speak. "Is something the matter? Why did you scream like that?" "Yes, Saotome," said Tatewaki with a frown. "Why did you yell with such volume? Is this one of your jokes?" "Ranma?" asked Ryoga as he studied the shocked figure of his brother. "You feeling okay?" Ranma looked from Kodachi to Tatewaki to Ryoga then back to Kodachi again before she ran towards the dark gymnast and hugging her, she wailed, "I can't change back!" Hearing this, everyone exchanged a worried look which magnified when Ranma pulled away from Kodachi and got struck by lightning for the seventy-second time. This being the seventy-second time because of the amount of times that Ranma was struck by lightning during the previous night. Needless to say, Ranma wasn't feeling too well. ------------------------------------------------ "That's a mean thing to do," Akane said as she finished eating. "What a bad piece of jewelry. It's nothing at all like the jewelry I get on my birthday, holidays, and odd numbered days from all of my fans." The group were discussing Ranma and the amulet that apparently froze him in his current female elfin form. Ranma being out of the room as she was still upstairs with Kodachi. "Yes, Akane," said Nabiki with a sigh. "Nothing like your jewelry at all. Then again, most of your fans don't have a tendency to give you accursed jewelry." "I know," Akane beamed. "Aren't I lucky?" "I don't get it," murmured Ryoga. "Why would Cologne want to stick Ranma in his female form? I mean, it's not like she can get anything out of doing that to him. It just doesn't make any sense." Looking at his iinazuke, Ryoga asked, "Do you understand why she did it, Nabiki?" "No," said Nabiki as she shook her head. "I'm just as lost as you, Ryoga-kun. About this problem, anyway." Smiling at the slight joke, Ryoga scratched the back of his head and said, "But there must be a reason for it." "We should ask Shampoo," suggested Tatewaki. "It's almost certain that she would have some ideas to help us." "And I'll ask Perfume," said Kasumi as she entered the room and sat around the table with them. "I'm sure that she'll be more than happy to help me discover the answer." "All right," said Nabiki with a nod. "It's a plan then." "What's a plan?" The entire group looked up at the sound of Ranma's voice only to freeze on seeing her standing in the doorway to the sitting room. But Ranma really wasn't the reason that they froze. It was more what Ranma was wearing. Because Ranma was currently decked out in a pair of notably tight and form fitting black leather pants, a shrunken white tank top which served to reveal both her flat stomach and ample cleavage, and a pair of shiny silver boots. "Hey," Ranma greeted casually before she plopped down to sit next to Akane. "What're you all talking about?" There was a long pause of silence before Genma looked up from his shogi game with Soun and noticed just what Ranma was wearing. The reaction was immediate. Genma's face turned bright red and after he finished hyperventilating, he shouted, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON, BOY?!" "What?" Ranma said blankly as looked at Genma. "I figured as long as I'm stuck as a girl I might as well dress like one." She paused to smile lasciviously. "A real sexy girl." "YOUR MOTHER WILL--" Genma paused as his mind slowly registered Ranma's words. Narrowing his eyes, Genma moved forward to grasp Ranma by the collar of her tight tank top. "What do you mean by saying you're stuck as a girl, boy?" "I mean that I'm stuck as a girl," said Ranma simply. "This funky amulet that the old ghoul gave me won't let me change back into a guy. Even splashing me with hot water doesn't do the trick thanks to its weirdo magic." Genma froze on hearing this before he burst into a flood of tears and wailed, "Nodoka's going to kill me!!" "Yeah," said Ranma cheerfully. "Mother won't be too happy about this, will she? Me changing into a girl was gonna be hard enough to explain but me stuck as one?" Ranma paused to whistle. "You're in deep doo, old man." "Ranma," said Genma in a low hiss. "You--" Before Genma could finish his reply, Ranma got struck by lightning for the seventy-third time. Looking at Ranma's smoking form that was toppled over on the floor, Genma said, "Suddenly hitting him seems like an entirely pointless act." "Yes," Soun agreed with a nod. "That must have caused more pain than your fist ever could." "Old ghoul," Ranma muttered from the floor as she slowly pushed herself up. "I'm gonna get you for this!" Seconds after saying this, Ranma got struck by lightning for the seventy-fourth time. ------------------------------------------------ "Shampoo!" shouted Perfume irately. "Why you still in bathroom after whole hour?! Some of us have to piss!" "Perfume," said Shampoo as she finally opened the door to the hotel bathroom. "Why you be so--" Shampoo was cut off as Perfume took the opportunity to barrel inside of the bathroom, shove Shampoo outside, and slam the door shut. Listening to the sound of a waterfall, Shampoo wore a scowl as she said, "That very rude, Cousin." "Bite me," Perfume's voice floated out from behind the bathroom door before the sound of a toilet flushing was heard. "Why you taking so long in bathroom anyway? You only is going to Japanese style school. What is big deal?" "Is no big deal," Shampoo sniffed as she folded her arms over her altered Furinkan High girls uniform. "What is crime in wanting to look good? That all is about." "Somehow am not believing you," said Perfume over the sound of running water. "Have more to do with wanting to look good for your new private sex toy, Tachi, right?" "What you saying?" Shampoo asked in arched tones. "Am saying that you look like in heat when you is near him," Perfume said as she opened the bathroom door to lean against its frame. "You must be knowing this." "Perfume," began Shampoo rather menacingly. "Calm down," Perfume dismissed before she walked past Shampoo and out into their hotel room. "You can't lie to me, Cousin. I knowing truth soon as I see you with him. You is liking boy named Tachi." Sitting on the edge of the bed, Perfume smirked and asked, "How far you get with him?" Gazing at Perfume for a long moment, Shampoo finally sighed and said, "Not far. Tachi not respond to usual tricks. Shampoo try flirting but he either not notice or he get red in face and not look at Shampoo anymore. Is annoying." "Hmm," said Perfume thoughtfully. "Maybe you is needing to try other way of getting Tachi's attention?" "Easy enough to say," Shampoo said in slightly mocking tones. "But have any suggestions?" For a response, Perfume smiled. ------------------------------------------------ "Finally," Chocolate said in between breaths as she pressed herself up against the hotel ledge. "I've finally found the hotel that Shampoo is staying in." After a lengthy search since her arrival in Japan, Chocolate was now standing outside on the ledge to the hotel room for her former beloved, Shampoo. The search had been long and hard and Chocolate could hardly believe how many of the hotels had Shampoos, Perfumes, and Colognes in them. It was truly baffling. Anyway, she was standing on the ledge, quite unaware of the large crowd of people that were gathering on the street below because of her location. Rifling through one of the many subspace pockets she produced, Chocolate pulled out a device that one of her many male admirers had given her. Pressing the strange stethoscope like instrument up against the hotel wall, Chocolate closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her once cherished Shampoo's voice. "That no good, Cousin," Shampoo was saying. "There must be some way to get Tachi's attention. Maybe if I making him jealous he fight for Shampoo's affection and then date?" Pulling away from the hotel wall, Chocolate formed a thoughtful expression and murmured, "So that's it." After a long moment of pause, Chocolate swung around to face forward and proclaimed, "If Tachi is what you want, then Tachi is what you'll get! I swear that I'll help you win his affections, Shampoo! It's my new mission!" Seconds later, Chocolate looked down to see that she was no longer standing on the hotel ledge. Being as she had several hundred tons of weapons on her and in subspace, Chocolate fell towards the ground rather quickly. Gravity, as the Tick once said, is a harsh mistress. ---------------------------------------------- "Nabiki?" said Ryoga nervously. "Yes, Ryoga?" asked Nabiki, looking his way. The two were walking in the front entrance to Furinkan High along with the rest of their group. Well, not including Ranma because she was currently being tugged along in the little red wagon that she was passed out in thanks to the number of times that she got struck by lightning during their usual walk to school. Lucky for Ranma, the little girl that Kodachi had bought the red wagon from didn't know the value of yen yet and she'd gotten a really cheap deal on it. But what had Ryoga nervous wasn't that or the fact that Akane had joined that weird crowd of boys which always gathered in the far corner of the yard. No, what had Ryoga nervous was the fact that he and Nabiki had a good sized group of people gazing at them with adoring and almost sparkly looking eyes. Eyes that Ryoga had never seen focused on him before. Eyes that were always focused on his brother, Ranma. Eyes that were now focused on him and not Ranma. To put it simply, this change of events was seriously freaking Ryoga out. In fact, Ryoga was in what some might call the Twilight Zone level of freaking out. It was a level that very few humans reach. Nabiki, being a person who handled strange situations thanks to her relationship with Akane and now through her partnership to Ranma and Kodachi, looked their admirers right in the eye and responded the only way that she knew how. She used a mild and somewhat subtle threat on them. "Is there a problem?" asked Nabiki with a hint of steel. Immediately the group paled a bit, then conferred for several moments before the girl in front exclaimed, "We just wanted to tell you that you're a great performer, Sempai!" "Yeah!" a guy in the group shouted. "You rock!" "Kick ass, Tendo-san!" "You too, Hibiki-san!" "You both are the coolest ever!" "And you're the sexiest couple!" "Ubersexy!" Blinking at the series of outbursts, Ryoga and Nabiki looked at each other and said blankly, "Ubersexy?" ------------------------------------------------ "Saotome," said Tatewaki in grave tones. "I do not think this is wise. You might injure yourself further." "No way," Ranma said stubbornly as she attempted to push herself up and out of the little red wagon. "I'm Saotome Ranma. There ain't no way I'm going inside like this." At this, Kodachi looked at Ranma in certain frustration before she formed a coy expression. Trailing her fingers lightly down Ranma's chest, Kodachi paused at the nexus of the other girl's cleavage as she purred, "Please, my darling. Do it for me won't you? It would make me ever so happy to be able to care for you on hand and foot." "Well," said Ranma in almost squeaky tones before she cleared her throat. "If you insist, Dachi." "I'm afraid I do," Kodachi said sensuously as she moved forward to meet Ranma's lips with her own. While this went on, Tatewaki averted his eyes, tried not to blush, and silently cursed Ranma for his fiendish hold over his normally angelic little sister. He had no worries though, because soon enough he would free Kodachi from Ranma's treacherous grasp. Or at the very least, teach Ranma some morals. As Tatewaki was contemplating this, Ranma got struck by lightning for the eightieth time. ------------------------------------------------- Shampoo was late. The huge crowd of boys, and several girls, that counted themselves in the lavender haired Amazons newly formed fan club observed this in a state of near panic. Where was she? Where was their new goddess? Where was their precious Shampoo? And who the heck was the person standing right in front of them wearing a grocery bag on their head? "I must ask," the grocery bag person said in low tones that crinkled because of the paper of the bag. "Do any of you know the girl known as Shampoo?" Their reaction took only an instant. "Shampoo is our goddess!" "She's the sexiest girl ever!" "We worship the ground that she walks on!" "Her voice is the sound of the heavens itself!" "Viva Shampoo!" The person wearing the grocery bag laughed a very pleased and crinkling sounding laugh at this. "Very good," they said. "I'm here to tell you how you may help Shampoo be a happier person. Would you like me to tell you how?" "Yes, tell us!" "Tell us now!" "But tell us your name first!" "Yeah and how you know Shampoo!" The person wearing the grocery bag paused at this and seemed nervous before they said in crinkling tones, "My name is... err... Grocery Bag... yes, Grocery Bag! And I come from the same village as Shampoo back home in China!" "Your name is Grocery Bag?!" "What sort of name is that?!" "That's a really sucky name!" "Yeah! Were your parents slow?!" Grocery Bag seemed to scowl at this then waved their fist around and said, "Enough about my name! I thought you wanted to know how to make Shampoo happy!" "We do! We do!" "Please, tell us!" "Okay, then," said Grocery Bag in crinkling tones. "It might not seem like it but Shampoo is very lonely. She wants love and affection but in our tribe we have rules. In order to date someone they must first defeat you in battle. But here in Japan, fighting isn't nearly as acceptable as back home and Shampoo isn't sure if anyone will end up challenging her." "That's it!" "We'll challenge Shampoo to a fight!" "Not just once, but every day!" "We'll all fight her!" "Yes, we fight for Shampoo!" "Endlessly, forever, and every day!" Observing as the crowd got themselves riled up, the person known as Grocery Bag gave a low crinkling sounding chuckle before they bounded away from Furinkan High. About a mile away, the person called Grocery Bag removed their namesake and revealed the always ravishing features of the girl that her group of obsessive fans knew as Chocolate. "Shampoo," said Chocolate who was she tucking the grocery bag that she'd worn into subspace. "I've done it. I've given you the key to your happiness. Surely when Tatewaki sees just how many admirers that you have he'll get jealous and claim you as his own. And even if he doesn't, maybe you'll find a strong Airen in that group of nutcases." Wearing a satisfied and glowing smile, Chocolate bounded onto another rooftop as she said, "I'm so proud of myself. I'm really and truly helping Shampoo out!" Sometimes it's the people who are trying to do good deeds that are the most dangerous of all. ------------------------------------------------ Chushin Maseo looked over his group of loyal followers and cleared his throat. "Everyone," Maseo said in grave tones. "We have a new member to our group. Someone who is rare amongst us all. Someone who has not only seen but talked to the glorious example of womanhood that we know as Chocolate." Taking a dramatic pause, Maseo extended his arm before he said with flourish, "Behold our other goddess! Tendo Akane!" "Hi guys," said Akane brightly as she smiled at the fifty or so wide eyed guys staring at her. "I totally agree with you! Chocolate is the prettiest girl ever and she's really nice!" "Akane," pronounced Maseo solemnly before he clasped her shoulder. "Welcome to the Chocoholics." A few miles away, the girl once known as Mousse but now known as Chocolate, much to her own personal chagrin, felt a chill run down her spine without knowing why. But she did know that it couldn't mean anything good. No, it couldn't mean anything good at all. To be continued... ------------------------------------------------- I'd like to thank Jim Robert Bader, Red Death, and my brother Patrick for listening to my goofy ideas. Also special thanks to Wade Tritschler for allowing me to be a part of his Altered Destinies project. Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780 Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at: http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm Next up: Lightning continues to strike Ranma, the secret or not so secret motivations of Cologne are finally discovered, and Akane seeks out her sweet new crush, Chocolate. "I bet it's just Luchs cooking with explosives again." -Hanagata; Saber Marionette J Again-
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