"What do you mean Kasumi slept in?" Soun asked. "She never sleeps in! Is she sick? That's it isn't it? My baby is sick!" He immediately burst into tears as Nabiki watched him in certain exasperation. Across from Soun and still playing shogi Genma said carelessly, "She didn't cook dinner last night either." Reading this out of the corner of his eye Soun began sobbing louder as he cried, "He's right! Kasumi never misses cooking a meal! She is sick!" Sighing at this Nabiki said, "She's not sick Daddy. I swear. She's just sleeping in that's all. Kasumi does so much for us that we can allow her that, can't we?" "Yeah Dad," Akane chimed in happily as she walked into the room holding a tray full of a strange gooey substance that was somehow burnt and reeking of toxins. "Let Kasumi sleep in. Besides, I've cooked enough food for all of us!" At this Soun began wailing again and Nabiki let loose a heavy sigh. She rose to her feet and said, "Try to calm Daddy down Akane. I'm going to go check on Kasumi." Walking upstairs she wondered what became of her business partners. Ranma and Kodachi hadn't returned ever since the antics of the naked girl who was otherwise known as Perfume. Still mulling over this, Nabiki paused at the door to Kasumi's bedroom. Knocking on the door, Nabiki said, "Oneechan? Are you feeling okay?" When she got no response Nabiki hesitantly opened the door but when she got it halfway open she froze in clear shock. She then slowly backed out of the doorway and mechanically walked down the hall to stand at the top of the stairs. Once she'd done this, Nabiki proceeded to release a scream at the top of her lungs. In seconds, her father was in front of her wearing a worried expression. Walking lazily behind him was Genma who appeared vaguely curious about her yelling. "What is it?!" asked Soun in a rush. "Is something wrong Nabiki?! Where's Kasumi?!" Unable to give a response, Nabiki simply turned to point at the open door to Kasumi's bedroom. Dashing down the hallway in a rush, the dojo occupants piled in front of the door to take it a sight that caused all their eyes to go wide. Lying on the bed entwined in an embrace were the forms of Kasumi and Perfume. The blanket covered their bodies so it was hard to tell whether they were naked or not but the scene itself was incriminating. The Enforcer slowly popped open one sapphire eye and reluctantly she untangled herself from Kasumi to stare at the group. "What you do here?" asked Perfume blearily. She moved into a sitting position and the sheet fell to reveal a crumpled robe. The group found themselves much like Nabiki in their loss of speech. They simply stared at the Enforcer who was perplexed about their reactions. After a long silence, Nabiki recovered from her shock and pushed past the group to stalk into the room. "What have you done to Kasumi?! You... you... molester!" she shouted. "Molester?" Perfume blinked in confusion. "What you talking about? Kasumi is Airen. Supposed to sleep with." The middle Tendo sister was twitching in rage when suddenly the onset of loud sobbing was heard and she didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Soun was clinging helplessly to the door frame as he wailed, "Kasumi! My baby's been deflowered!" Behind him a nonchalant Genma shrugged and said, "It had to happen eventually." Just as Soun set about strangling Genma for saying that a puzzled Akane stuck her head into the room and said, "What're you all doing in here? You haven't even tried some of my special breakfast yet." Following their stares she focused on the bed and the figure of Perfume. "Hi again!" said Akane cheerfully. "It looks like you're recovered." It was then that Kasumi finally woke up and on seeing the group gathered in her bedroom she pulled the sheets closer to her body. With wide eyes she realized the position that she had just been caught in and what everyone must be thinking. Realizing all this, Kasumi could say only one thing about the situation. "Oh my." --- "Nine hundred and fifty thousand yen," Ranma counted as he sifted through the large wad of money in his hand. "Not too bad for a few hours of work." "How right you are my dearest," said Kodachi while hooking her arm in his. "What shall we be doing with our earnings? Perhaps use it to allay our resident stalker?" "Maybe," mused Ranma. He looked up into the air as he stuffed the money into his pocket. "But only if she won't get off our backs. I don't like the idea of giving money away for no reason." "A most apt point," murmured Kodachi. "I agree that we should only make retribution if she continues to act in a violent manner towards us. It serves no real purpose to allow her to upset the Tendos on our behalf. Don't you agree about that, Ranma darling?" "Yeah," Ranma said slowly. "The last thing we want is for Tendo-san to kick us out. Especially when we're getting so close to figuring everything out." "That reminds me," said Kodachi as she looked at him with hopeful violet eyes. "Did you have any luck in locating my brother's family services caseworker?" "It's the funniest thing," said Ranma. "The guy said that Kuno got adopted by some British lady and only a month afterwards they just disappeared without a trace." Cobalt eyes met Kodachi's gaze and he continued, "I know that nothing bad happened to him because he was fine when I met him back in middle school but this is just weird. I can't figure who this lady is or what she has to do with Kuno." Forming a thoughtful expression, Kodachi said, "It seems that my brother has found a generous benefactor to care for him. How very fortuitous." "For him or us?" asked Ranma with a sly smile. "For both, of course," replied Kodachi as she matched his smile before giving him a soft kiss on the lips. When she pulled away, Ranma's smile widened as he repeated smoothly, "Of course." --- "My little girl is a lesbian!" Soun bawled. "So she likes to eat fish," remarked Genma who was soon being strangled again by an enraged Soun. Before Soun could do any real damage to the other man Nabiki gave a sigh and rose to her feet then in a casual movement she dumped a bucket of cold water on them. The reaction was immediate, Soun calmed down and Genma morphed into a big fat flying pig. While Perfume began snickering at Genma's cursed form Kasumi looked to the shivering Soun. "Father," said Kasumi with a pained expression. She fingered her crumpled dress that she had slept in. "I do wish that you wouldn't say things like that. I've already told you that we didn't do anything." "Airen," said Perfume as she ripped her eyes away from Genma pig. The Enforcer had abandoned the terrycloth robe from earlier and was wearing one of Akane's spare volleyball uniforms. "Why he so upset?" Scowling at this question Nabiki interrupted her older sister and said, "Maybe he's upset because he caught you in bed with my Oneechan! You... you... evil seductress!" "I think they make a nice couple," said Akane as she smiled widely. She turned to Perfume and continued, "I also think that having Amazons for in laws would be cool!" "Much thanks," said Perfume to the smiling Akane. "No prob," Akane called. She left the sitting room to return shortly with a kettle of hot water. Pouring it on Genma pig's head she said, "It's a good thing that we had this sitting on the stove, huh Ojisama Saotome?" While the steam evaporated to reveal his human form Genma straightened his glasses and said, "Thank you Akane." "No prob," repeated Akane in chipper tones as she left the sitting room for the kitchen again. "Now," said Genma in solemn tones as he looked to Soun. "I think you should stop making such a big fuss out of this Tendo. We've dealt with Amazons before so stop acting like this sort of thing is new to you. And just look at the situation I have with my wives." As Soun considered his words Nabiki looked at Genma suspiciously. "Wives?" she asked. "What are you talking about?" Wearing a definite smirk Genma folded his arms across his chest and said, "Just the details of my personal life." Nabiki narrowed her eyes at this reply and Genma turned his attention back to Soun. "So," he began. "You calmed down about this yet?" "Yes," said Soun in grating tones of annoyance. "I was never that upset. It was just that seeing my little girl like that was..." He trailed off as he focused his gaze on Kasumi and Perfume. There was a long moment of tension as Soun gave Perfume a hard stare. Then suddenly, he slammed his hands down on the table. "I must know now! Will you vow to always treat my Kasumi well?!" "Yes," said Perfume with a short nod. "I give you my solemn vow to always treat Kasumi well. If I don't I'll let you kill me," she finished in grave tones. "Excuse me?" said Kasumi in disbelief as she watched this odd pact being made between her father and Perfume. Before she could say anything more on the matter Soun broke out into a wide smile and quickly leapt across the table to pull Perfume into a hug. "Then welcome to the family!" he exclaimed happily. "Yeah!" Akane cheered as she mimicked her father and began to hug the Amazon Enforcer also. "Welcome!" At this display, Nabiki scowled and Kasumi watched with wide eyes as her new Airen started to turn purple from the lack of oxygen caused by the multiple hugs. Nabiki was about to comment when a soft voice said, "Nabchan." Nabiki moved her hazel gaze towards the voice and saw Ranma's head hanging upside down outside of the sitting room. He gave a silent gesture towards the roof before his head disappeared. She had just risen to her feet when Perfume finally succeeded in freeing herself from the confines of the Tendo group hug. Standing up, Perfume produced her double bladed axes and brushed past Nabiki to stand on the porch. With a swift leap she vanished from sight then seconds later the figure of Ranma came bounding down from the roof with Kodachi hot on his heels. Trailing after them was Perfume with the same deadly intent as day before. "Demon thieves!" Perfume shouted as she pursued the couple. "You not escape!" "Well this is fun," said Nabiki in dry tones. "It looks like your little wife is trying to kill Ranma and Dachi again." Kasumi observed the pursuit with wide eyes before she cleared her throat and said what could be construed as harsh tones for her, "Perfume! Stop it right now!" Immediately, the Amazon Enforcer froze in her tracks and seeing their opportunity for escape, Ranma and Kodachi disappeared from the premises once again. Perfume scowled at this and walked towards Kasumi with a dark expression on her pretty features. "This best be important, Airen," said Perfume. "Oh it is," said Kasumi in soft tones that somehow held a hint of steel. "Perfume," she began slowly. "You will stop attacking Ranma and Kodachi. They are guests of my family and as such you should treat them with respect." "Stop?" Perfume repeated incredulously. "They is demon thieves. Is my sacred duty to--" "Destroy them, yes I know," said Kasumi. She paused to produce the booklet of Amazon law from the folds of her dress. "That may be true but I'm your Airen. I was the one who defeated you in battle and that means I'm the dominant partner in this relationship. Which also means that you have to do what I tell you to. And I'm telling you to leave Ranma and Kodachi alone. If you don't I'll have to..." She trailed off with a thoughtful expression. Finally Kasumi settled on saying in ominous tones, "Punish you." With that, Kasumi turned on her heel and left a stunned Perfume standing in the sitting room. Akane crossed to the Enforcer's side and patted her on the shoulder. "Oneechan's pretty strict at times," offered Akane in sympathetic tones. While Perfume's sapphire eyes went wide in certain distress at this comment, Akane exclaimed, "It's time for school! I can't be late, not today!" "Strict," said Perfume dimly as Akane dashed out of the room with a stronger dose of her usual frenzy of energy. Shaking her head, Nabiki walked out of the room and said to herself, "Welcome to the family and good luck." --- "She was eating breakfast with them," murmured Kodachi in thoughtful tones. "How very... odd." "Odd? That's damn weird," said Ranma with a snort. The pair had made a quick run to escape from the Tendo dojo and were already halfway towards Furinkan. It would be the first time since they'd enrolled that they would be early for class. They always left in time for class but lately the crowd of their admirers, which was compounded by the fact that they walked to school with Akane, caused them some problems. That was simply because of the time that it took for them to maneuver through the crowd. Maneuver through the crowd and try to retain the clothes on their backs. Somehow they always seemed to lose bits of their clothes. Well, not lose. More like bits of their clothes always seemed to be torn from their bodies. Yes, that was definitely a more apt description. It was lucky for Ranma and Kodachi they didn't have any issues with their body persona or nudity. Very lucky indeed. "I'm sure that they had a good reason for welcoming her into their home," said Kodachi. "Yeah," Ranma replied as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. "But what could it be?" Kodachi was about to reply when her violet eyes focused ahead on the Furinkan High front lawn. She froze in place and observing her behavior, a curious Ranma followed her gaze. He could only blink at what he saw. A totally empty lawn. No one was there. Not a single student. Not even a school security guard. Nobody. It was so empty that there might as well have been a tumbleweed crossing the lawn to signify just how empty it was. "This day is getting odder by the moment," remarked Kodachi as she inclined her raven head to one side. Giving a silent nod, Ranma echoed, "Yeah." The couple was still standing at the entrance to the school when seconds later, a strong wind kicked up and Akane went rushing past them. Her ponytail flying in the wind, Kodachi stared at the large dust cloud that had been left in Akane's wake and said, "Odd." "Very," said Ranma. --- Perfume was unhappy. She didn't enjoy being yelled at. Especially by her new Airen. And especially for only doing her duty as the Enforcer of Joketsuzoku. Why couldn't Kasumi understand that and let her kill the demon thieves already? Forming a grimace, Perfume considered killing the demon thieves against Kasumi's orders but thought better of it. Akane had said that Kasumi had a tendency to be strict and there was the ominous way that her Airen had said the word punish. Punish. The word echoed in Perfume's mind and she shivered at the thought. Yes, she'd obey her Airen's orders. For now. "Perfume," called Kasumi as she walked out of the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. "I need to buy a few things. Would you like to go shopping with me?" Her sapphire eyes scanned Kasumi's features and finding nothing but kindness there, Perfume replied, "Yes. I like that, Airen." "Good," murmured Kasumi with a smile. --- Furinkan High was frozen with fear. It was the most horrifying time of year. It was the time that everyone dreaded coming about. It was the time of the apocalypse. It was time for the home economics midterm. On this one day more than ninety percent of the students called in sick and it was nearly impossible to get enough substitutes for all of the teacher absences. Because of the tendency for missing students and teachers, the few who did show up for school were all placed in the same room. All in all, there were fifteen people in the home economics class. Twelve of them wore anxious expressions, two of them just looked confused, and one of them had a wide smile gracing her pretty features. "I don't get it," said Ranma as he looked at Nabiki. "What's the big deal about Akane cooking some food? That don't sound so scary to me." "You haven't eaten it," Nabiki whispered her hazel eyes darkening with a grim light. "I'm sure this is all an exaggeration," said Kodachi. "How bad could Akane-chan's cooking possibly be?" That was when a knock sounded on the classroom door and a man, or what looked like a man, walked into the room wearing a yellow biohazard suit and holding a huge metal briefcase of sorts. The man looked at his clipboard then glanced up and waved at the class. "Hey everybody," the man said in muffled tones. "Looks like it's that time of year again." He paused to look at Akane who was putting on her apron as the home economics teacher watched her with a wary expression. Akane turned around and broke into a wide smile. "Hasamato!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you'd be here! Are the Furinkan High ghosts back again?" "Yeah, well, some hauntings never go away you know," said Hasamato as he gave a muffled laugh that was altogether anxious. "These darn ghosts. So what are you cooking this time, Akane-chan?" "Ramen," said Akane with a wide smile. She paused to form a troubled expression. "You don't think that it might be possessed by demons like my other meals, do you?" "You can never be too careful," Hasamato said solemnly. "That's why they called me. To make sure that you stay nice and safe, Akane-chan. Now you just go on and cook." "Okay, Hasamato!" said Akane brightly before she turned back to her home economics teacher. "Possessed ramen?" Kodachi asked softly. "Shh," hissed Hasamato in muffled tones. He leaned down to face her and said, "That's the cover story we've been using for the past two years. Unless you want to be the one to tell Akane- chan the truth about her cooking." At this statement Kodachi and Ranma exchanged a wary look and Hasamato said, "That's what I thought." He then took a seat at the table across from them. When he sat down he put the metal briefcase he held on the floor and it caused an echoing thud throughout the classroom. Hasamato looked at Nabiki and smiled through the plastic mask and said, "How're you doing Nabiki? It's been awhile." "I'm good," said Nabiki with a smile. She leaned down to peer at the briefcase. "So that's your advanced metal alloy container, huh? Are you sure that this one won't melt like the old one did? We can't have a repeat of the curry disaster." "I'm positive," Hasamato assured. He paused to slap the briefcase and said, "This baby has held up under nuclear radiation testing. We think it can handle Akane-chan's cooking." Hearing this comment, Ranma and Kodachi paled. --- "Nerima?" asked Tatewaki with wide eyes. "My sister has journeyed to Nerima?" "According to this letter from Perfume," Cologne replied. "Is there something particularly important about that district in Tokyo?" Snapping out of his dazed state Tatewaki offered an apologetic smile. "It is the location of our former dwellings," he said earnestly. "The ancestral home of my deceased mother. The illustrious Kuno Mansion." "Nerima, huh?" said Ryoga thoughtfully. "My house is around that area." "Nerima is that way," said Shampoo. She looked up from the large map of Japan she was holding and pointed off into the distance. "If hurry can be there soon." "Then let's be off," said Tatewaki strongly. "We can't allow Perfume to complete her mission!" Suddenly he leapt into the air and began running on the rooftops on his way towards Nerima. Shampoo watched his departure and shook her head as she murmured, "Perfume not be so easily stopped. It take much to keep her from completing mission." But seconds later she was racing after him with Ryoga running at her side. Wearing a secret smile Cologne chuckled to herself before she followed after her young companions on their way to Nerima. --- Forming a face of annoyance, Perfume rubbed her nose and wished that it would stop itching. She found it quite bothersome to feel as if she was going to sneeze but then not do it. It was almost like her body was toying with her. With a sigh, she rocked back on her heels and watched with attentive sapphire eyes as Kasumi scanned the contents of the shelf with expertise. Quietly walking towards Kasumi's side, Perfume asked, "This what you do?" "What?" asked Kasumi in pleasant tones as she turned to look at Perfume. She smiled at the Enforcer then said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said. What was that?" "This what you do?" repeated Perfume. "Airen is care taker of family, yes? This what you do each day?" "Most of the time," Kasumi acknowledged. "The family needs to eat so I buy their food." "And Kasumi cook food also," continued Perfume. "And Kasumi clean house, and Kasumi take care of all other things in house no one else want do." "Of course," said Kasumi as if it were impossible for anyone to assume otherwise. Scowling at this, Perfume shoved her hands into her pockets and grumbled, "Is not right. Airen of Enforcer should not do such things." Looking up with fierce sapphire eyes she said, "You is powerful figure in tribe now. This mean is able to have life of your choosing. Not one of servant. You should go back home to tribe with me, then all be well." "Perfume," said Kasumi softly. She smiled as she put the box of cereal in the basket that she held. "It isn't like that at all. I do what I do because it makes me happy." "How that possible? You doing their work," Perfume said as she eyed Kasumi with clear skepticism. "Oh my," Kasumi sighed. "I don't know how exactly to explain this..." She was silent for a long while before her eyes lit up and she said, "Nothing makes me happier than helping others and making them happy. And by caring for my family I see that in them every day. Do you understand?" Studying Kasumi closely, Perfume folded her arms over her chest and said gruffly, "Understand but not like it. To care for others make Kasumi happy. This is good but at same time it keep you from having life of own." "What?" whispered Kasumi as her eyes widened in shock. "What do you mean by that, Perfume?" "I mean what say," retorted Perfume. She gave a sharp gesture towards the shelf and said, "This duty you have which make you happy is trapping also! It no let you do what want, you lose your own wants in theirs! Is no good!" There was a long moment of silence as Kasumi contemplated these words and several frightened shoppers scurried past the strange couple. Perfume was scowling deeply and had her arms folded across her chest. "Perfume," said Kasumi slowly as she looked up at the Amazon Enforcer. "Would you tell me more... about how you do things back in your tribe?" Sapphire eyes widened in surprise then Perfume broke out into a wide smile as she said, "Of course, Airen." Maybe she did have a chance of winning Kasumi over. But the first thing she'd have to do was make sure that her Airen stopped coddling her family so much. If she broke the odd dependence Kasumi had for caring for them then she'd have more a chance to convince her Airen to leave this odd country so they could return home to the tribe. And that was something Perfume desperately wanted. After she killed the demon thieves, of course. --- "And my American style apple pie?" asked Akane with wide plaintive brown eyes. "Possessed also," Hasamato replied in solemn but still muffled tones. "You know how these American foods, are Akane-chan. They're just too decadent, they attract ghosts." Hasamato then picked up the charred pie that somehow was still bubbling over with blue goop with a pair of steel tongs before putting it in his metal briefcase with the rest of Akane's cooking projects. The rest of the room watched their interaction with wide eyes as they silently thanked the man that was saving them from having to eat what Akane had cooked. "His acting is impeccable," murmured Kodachi softly. "I almost believe as if the food were truly possessed. Has he ever considered going into the field of entertainment?" "The Sun Never Sets," replied Nabiki lowly as she leaned towards the gymnast. "It's on the late afternoons. He plays the honorable, but always drunken, doctor Ozuma." "So he's not a hazmat worker then?" Ranma asked incredulously while he kept his eyes on Hasamato. Nabiki shook her head at this and said, "No. He used to but went freelance. The school hires him out to take care of Akane's cooking projects. I hear they pay him nicely." "I would think so," Kodachi said. She was giving Hasamato a look of admiration before she turned to Ranma and smirked. "What do you think, Ranma darling? Should we get you one of those suits?" "Nah," said Ranma slowly. "They'd cover up my handsome figure and then where would I be?" Rolling her eyes at this comment, Nabiki watched as her younger sister morosely observed as the last of her cooking was placed in the metal briefcase. "We just don't have the heart to tell her that it's bad," said Nabiki. "At times I've tried but she gets this look. It's like you just kicked her puppy dog or something and then it's all over. That's why most of the students aren't here today. They see that look of hers and then they volunteer to eat her cooking. Last year Akane inadvertently caused most of our freshman class to be hospitalized for a semester. It wasn't pretty." "Huh," said Ranma thoughtfully. He got a strange look in his eyes before he looked at Nabiki and wore his usual charming smile as he asked, "So what do we do now?" Looking at him with solemn eyes, Nabiki said, "We help with the clean up." Rising to her feet she slapped Ranma on the shoulder and said, "Lucky you, Saotome. You'll be able to wear that biohazard suit after all." Ranma's only response was to look miserable. --- "This is Nerima?" asked Ryoga blankly. He scratched his head and murmured, "It doesn't look all that bad to me. No fighting, no explosions. I wonder where all those rumors about it being worse than Tomobiki came from? "I don't know what you're speaking of, Ryoga- kun," said Tatewaki. "Nerima is a fine district to live in and I recall it as being perfectly normal when I resided here as a child." Before Tatewaki could say anything more on the matter a truck with the words 'Akane-chan's Volunteer Biohazard Unit' written on the side of it went blazing past them on the road leaving them stunned in its wake. After a moment, Ryoga said, "What was it that you just said about Nerima being normal, Tachi?" Tatewaki gave a nervous laugh and Shampoo rolled her eyes at this before she found her attention drawn away by a couple walking past. The woman leading the two had an understated beauty about her with her long brown hair and warm tone of voice but she wasn't the one who had caught Shampoo's attention. Rather, it was the woman's companion whose face was completely covered the massive pile of bags that she was holding that intrigued Shampoo so. Intrigued Shampoo because of what exactly the woman carrying the bags was saying. And what was she saying? Well, she was saying a long line of very... descriptive and extensive vulgarities in Mandarin. And Shampoo knew of only one person that knew of so many vulgarities and would sound so happy while saying them. "Perfume!" shouted Shampoo as she silently prayed that she was right about this. The woman with the bags slowly turned around and said in muffled tones, "Shampoo? Is that you, Cousin?" Shampoo formed a wide smile as she watched Perfume lower the bags to reveal her face. She'd found Perfume and now they could help Tatewaki rescue his sister from receiving her sentence. If it hadn't been delivered already. The only real question remaining in Shampoo's mind was this: Why was Perfume carrying that woman's groceries? --- "Nerima," said Mousse as she read a road sign for the first time in years without having to stand millimeters away from it. She pushed a stray strand of her long luxurious black hair behind her ear while she formed a most adorable look of contemplation. "Now why would Shampoo want to come here? It doesn't look all that special." Mousse was still considering this when she turned around to return to following after Shampoo only to find that she was surrounded by a mob of starry eyed guys. "Uhm... hello?" Mousse said in hesitant tones which only served to make her more kawaii. "Can I help you?" "Ah! She's just as kawaii as Akane-chan!" one of the guys in the mob shouted out. "Blasphemer!" another guy shouted. "No one can possibly be as kawaii as Akane-chan!" "Oh yeah?" the first guy replied. "Check her out!" There was a slight pause then the second and more skeptical guy said in awe, "No way! You're right, she is as kawaii as our beloved Akane- chan!" "Akane-chan?" Mousse echoed. "Who's Akane- chan?" "Ah! She doesn't know Akane-chan!" another guy shouted in tones of utter shock. "She must be new here!" "I wonder if she can cook better than Akane- chan?" "Everyone cooks better than Akane-chan!" "I say we worship her like Akane-chan!" "Yes, worship her!" "What's your favorite color?!" "And your astrological sign?!" "Don't forget about her blood type!" The mob's shouting got louder and louder as they continued to close in on an entirely shocked Mousse. "What?" squeaked Mousse as she backed away from the mob very nervously. "What're you talking about?" And that was when the mob descended upon her. --- "So you're Perfume's Airen," said Cologne as she gave Kasumi a close inspection with her eyes. "That would explain why she was hauling your groceries around for you." "Yes, it would," Kasumi said pleasantly. "I asked Perfume to help me with my shopping and she was very kind to do so. I take it that you're Perfume's Great Grandmother?" The group had all made their way back to the Tendo dojo and were gathered in the sitting room discussing current events that included Perfume's newly formed engagement. "Yes," Cologne said with a nod. "I am Cologne. Am I right in assuming that you were the one who managed to stop Perfume from fulfilling her mission here?" "You would," replied Kasumi. "You see, the people that you sent Perfume to kill are guests of my family and it wouldn't be polite to allow them to be killed." Quirking an eyebrow, Cologne said, "No. I suppose that it wouldn't." Looking to Perfume she continued, "You've made a most interesting choice in Airen, Perfume." "Why thank you," said Kasumi with a smile. She looked to Tatewaki and said, "But you don't look like an Amazon. May I ask why you're here?" "Eh? Me?" asked Tatewaki in distracted tones. "I am here with Ryoga-kun to..." He trailed off as he looked around the sitting room and said, "Where's Ryoga-kun?" "I think maybe he get lost again, Tatewaki," said Shampoo as she wore a weary expression. "We not watch him close enough and he wander away. Is that so?" Heaving a deep sigh, Tatewaki hung his head and said, "And just when we were getting so close." He then said strongly, "I best go and find him. I can't let him wander aimlessly while his family waits here." Tatewaki had just turned to exit the sitting room when he was stopped by the figures of Soun and Genma returning from their usual afternoon trip to the bar. "Saotome-san," breathed Tatewaki in shock. "Tatewaki," echoed Genma in equally shocked tones. There was a moment of silence before Genma grabbed him by the collar and asked hurriedly, "Is he here?! Is Ryoga here?!" "He was," stammered Tatewaki through the fierce shaking that Genma gave him. "But he got lost..." "Lost?!" Genma roared. He released Tatewaki and looked deflated as he fell to his knees. "Not again." Kneeling next to him, Tatewaki said softly, "I'm sorry Saotome-san. I'll promise to find him..." Soun observed this odd scene for a moment, before he looked to Cologne and his eyes went wide. "You," he said in low tones. "What are you doing here?" "I'm looking for the one called Kuno Kodachi and her traveling companions," said Cologne. "And I believe that you might know something about that, Soun?" "Do you mean Ranma and Genma?" Soun blinked. "What do you want with them?" "Ranma?" repeated Cologne as she formed a face of interest. "And who would that be?" Looking utterly confused, Soun said, "He's Genma's son. What do you want with him and Kodachi?" "Nothing much, Soun," said Cologne solemnly. "We merely wish to tell your resident couple of thieves that they have been sentenced for death." --- "Ugh, that smell," muttered Ranma as he shuddered. "Remind me to never seem helpful again, Dachi." "Surely, my dearest," Kodachi said with a smile. The couple were slowly making their way back to the Tendo dojo as school had been let out early. Actually, school hadn't been let out early... they had merely let themselves out. After they attempted to help Hasamato clean up Akane's cooking for a good five minutes both Ranma and Kodachi became all too disgusted with the effort and decided to flee the school. When they had successfully done that, the couple began their way back to the dojo. Which was just what they were doing right now. Well, were doing until Ranma abruptly stopped walking causing Kodachi to stop also. "Ranma darling?" asked Kodachi in concern. "Is something the matter?" Not replying, Ranma kept his eyes focused ahead and following his gaze Kodachi saw that it lead to a boy wearing a huge backpack that had a red bamboo umbrella on the top of it. The boy stood alone in the middle of the street with a puzzled expression on his face. Ranma formed look of pure happiness as he ran towards the other boy and shouted, "Ryoga!" The boy turned around and upon seeing Ranma a huge smile crossed his features. "Ranma!" the boy shouted in return. Instantly he began running towards Ranma and when they met the two enveloped in a strong hug. It took them a minute to part but when they did they instantly began exchanging pleasantries. "What're you doing here Ryoga?" began Ranma in a rush of excitement. "I thought you were in Switzerland." "That was last month," replied Ryoga smiling. "I've been in China looking for you." He paused to smile wider as he said, "I'm sure glad that I found you! It seems like it's been forever!" He eyed Ranma then as he gave him a light punch on the shoulder. "You sure have grown runt." "Runt?" Ranma scoffed. "Who're you calling a runt you blockhead? It doesn't matter that you're two months older than me now. I'm taller than you." "Whatever," dismissed Ryoga. "A year can do a lot to a person. So you had a growth spurt. Big deal." "A year," Ranma shook his head. "I can't believe it's been that long. I have a lot of stuff to tell you. But first there's someone here I want you to meet." He turned towards Kodachi who was observing them from a distance. "Dachi! C'mere!" Ranma looked back to Ryoga and asked, "Is Kuno still traveling with you?" "Of course," said Ryoga in slight exasperation. "He's been trying to help me find you all this time. You already knew that. Why even ask--" Ryoga stopped talking when Kodachi reached them and he said softly, "You're Tachi's sister... you're Kodachi." He looked to Ranma and asked incredulously, "She's been with you all this time?" Ranma grinned as he gave a nod. "Yup! Kodachi's my girlfriend, Ryoga. I've been helping her to find you and Kuno just like you've been helping him to find us." "Ranma darling," began Kodachi in tones that rang of quiet hope. "Then you mean that this is...?" "My brother Ryoga," Ranma affirmed. "And if he's here then Kuno must be nearby." His smile deepened as he looked into glowing violet eyes. "We finally found them. Our search is over." "Ranma darling..." breathed Kodachi loving tones. "Dachi..." echoed Ranma in turn. Ryoga watched the couple a moment before he decided to stop them before he got sick. Releasing a loud cough Ryoga woke the pair out of their daze. "So," he began. "How about the two of you help me find the Tendo dojo? I know that's where they went with Perfume. I was with them until I sorta got lost again," he said the last part sheepishly. "Perfume?" asked Ranma and Kodachi. "Yeah," said Ryoga. "That's the name of this Amazon warrior they sent to punish Kodachi and some other..." As he trailed off Ryoga gained a look of understanding. Wearing a deep frown he said, "Ranma! Did you steal something from their village?" Looking wounded, Ranma said, "Me? Would I do something like that?" "Ranma," growled Ryoga in warning tones. "Okay, okay," Ranma heaved a sigh. "We did some business with them that went bad. That's all." Ryoga groaned and rubbed his forehead. "I thought that Mother told you to stop doing that sort of thing!" "What she doesn't know won't hurt her," said Ranma easily. He gave Ryoga a slap on the back and started to walk in the direction of the Tendo dojo. "And I doubt that Mother will get angry. She knows all about Pop's rules of roughing it. We have to do and find everything on our own. That includes money for our supplies." "I guess so..." Ryoga said thoughtfully. "But I still don't think that Mother will like it." "Then Mom'll explain it to her," said Ranma with a shrug. "Don't worry so much bro. They forgive Pop each time he screws up so you know they're gonna forgive us." Ryoga was still mulling over this when they entered the grounds of the Tendo dojo. As the removed their shoes the sounds of loud sobbing met their ears. Wearing a wry expression Ranma said, "Sounds like Tendo-san is upset." Making no reply Kodachi walked past Ranma to the sitting room wearing a look of both anxiety and hope. Watching this with a face of concern Ranma quickly dashed after his girlfriend while Ryoga trailed behind them slowly. "Tendo," Ryoga said to himself. "I just know I've heard that name somewhere before." --- "Death!" shouted Soun through his tears. "What do you mean they're sentenced to death?! And what do you mean by calling Ranma and Kodachi a couple?! Ranma is supposed to marry one of my girls, it's been promised!" "Tatewaki," said Shampoo softly as she moved to whisper in his ear. "What he more upset over? Death sentence or fact demon thieves is a couple? Shampoo not know." "A couple," seethed Tatewaki who was turning a deep shade of red while he clenched his hands into fists. "My sister and that scoundrel Saotome? A couple?! I'll kill him..." "Eh... never mind," Shampoo murmured then she took a visible step away from Tatewaki who was still seething. Heaving a deep sigh, Cologne said, "For heavens sake calm down Soun. You know me. Do you really think that I'd sentence them both to death when I had the chance to gain something from this entirely unpleasant situation?" "Gain something?" repeated Genma suspiciously. He stood up and said, "What are you up to, old woman?" "Your son stole from my tribe," Cologne stated in cold and steely tones. "He and Kodachi both must make reparations for that. I think pledging themselves to our greater good would do just that. Wouldn't you think?" "What're you talking about?" Genma growled. "I've always wanted a Saotome on the side of the Amazons," said Cologne as she formed a slow smile. "And when Comb failed to marry you I was disappointed, Genma. But now it seems I've been presented with a chance to make up for that. Your son will pledge loyalty to myself and my tribe. He will become one of us. He will become an Amazon." "Really? No one told me about that." The group all turned to see the figure of Ranma standing in the doorway with Ryoga at his side and right in front of them was the wide eyed figure of Kodachi whose eyes were focused on the sight of her older brother. "Tatewaki," whispered Kodachi. "Kodachi," echoed Tatewaki. In seconds the two were exchanging a fierce hug for an embrace that had been years in the making. When they finally parted after a few minutes, Tatewaki wore a face of utter joy as he said, "I've missed you greatly, my sister." "And I you, my brother," Kodachi replied tearfully. The quiet moment of family reunion shattered by the loud shout of Genma as he cried out, "Ryoga!" "Dad!!" shouted Ryoga, whose eyes lit up when he saw Genma. He immediately went running towards the older man and embraced him in a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you Dad! How have you been?!" "I'm okay," Genma wheezed. "But I'm having a little trouble breathing here, son." Giving a nervous laugh, Ryoga released Genma from his hold and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry Dad," said Ryoga as he smiled. "It's okay boy," said Genma cheerfully. "Everything is going to be okay now that you're here." "Really?" asked Ryoga in confusion. "How come?" "Never mind that," Cologne interrupted. "We have business with young Ranma here." She hopped closer to Ranma and Kodachi on her staff and said, "You do realize that you're both under Amazon death sentence, do you not?" "Yeah, we realized," Ranma snorted. "But in case you haven't noticed your girl hasn't been doing the best job. We're still alive and kicking. What about that?" "Indeed," murmured Cologne. "Perfume has failed in killing you both but that hardly matters as I'm here to tell her that the death sentence has been revoked." "Revoked?" Kodachi repeated. "Ah, Kuno-san," said Cologne as she looked to Kodachi. "You have your brother to thank for that. He kindly asked for my leniency and I have decided to give it. But only under some outlined conditions of course." "Of course," said Ranma as his gaze narrowed. He tilted his head to one side and said, "What do you want?" Her eyes gaining a dangerous gleam, Cologne said, "I want all of our tribal treasures back." There was a slight pause before Ranma gave a short incredulous laugh and said, "You're kidding! Is that all?" "Hardly," Cologne pronounced dryly. "I also want you both to pledge your complete and utter loyalty to myself and my tribe. You two will become my newest apprentices and you will promise to never bring harm to Joketsuzoku again. You will fight for us and not against us." She paused to ask, "What do you say to that?" There was another long pause of utter silence as Ranma and Kodachi exchanged a silent look. Together, they both turned back to Cologne and said, "Deal." Their words were met with a loud crash as everyone with the exception of them and Cologne went toppling over on the floor. It seems that wasn't the answer everyone had expected. To be continued... ------------------------------------------------ I'd like to thank Jim Robert Bader and my brother Patrick for listening to my goofy ideas. Also special thanks to Wade Tritschler for allowing me to be a part of his Altered Destinies project. Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780 Thanks to Red Death all my fanfics are archived at: http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm Next up: Ranma and Kodachi... the newest Amazons?! That and Ryoga finds himself taking up family obligations. "A sarcastic bitch is like a Barbra Streisand CD: It yields unpleasantness for all within hearing range." -Lao Ma from the UberXena story I've Been To Pocatello, But I've Never Been To Me by Vivian Darkbloom-
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