Mama's Gonna Knock You Out (Both of them.) Perfume's thoughts went in this order... Tingle, tingle, ow, ow, tingle, tingle, die, die, tingle, tingle, crap, crap, tingle, tingle, argh, argh... Then again, Perfume still wasn't entirely used to having magical experiments being done on her. That might help to explain her train of thought while she was levitated in the air surrounded by the glowing energy of several spells that Siren was performing on her. From the corner of the room, Perfume locked eyes with Kasumi and on seeing the other girl's sweet smile, her bravery increased. It would be all right, Kasumi was here and grandmother... well, she really did want to help her out. So, it should turn out okay. Should being the important word here. "Sensei is awfully strong, isn't she?" Kasumi whispered to Cologne who was standing by her side. "Yes, she is," murmured Cologne reluctantly. Frowning as she narrowed her eyes, she said, "Perhaps a little bit too strong for many people liking." "Like you?" asked Kasumi. Turning to look at her companion, Cologne was surprised to see a calm and decisive look in Kasumi's eyes. There certainly was more than to this girl than it seemed. "At times I feel that way," Cologne admitted. "I was more referring to our village Elders who hold no real fondness for your dear Sensei." "Why is that?" Kasumi asked curiously. "I would think that the village Elders would be friendly with her at least because of her powers and fear of them." "They would if they were smart," said Cologne, she smiled slightly before continuing. "However, they are well aware of the fact that Siren would never do anything to hurt our people. Which gives them a slight advantage over her. And as for why they're not particularly fond of her... well, that more has to go with Siren's choice habit of ignoring most of the rules that apply to the Elders in our village. She simply doesn't act as someone her age should. Even shifting her appearance so it no longer reveals her inward age, something against our customs." Kasumi mulled over this for a moment before she gave a small shrug and focused back on Perfume who was being lowered to the floor as the magic around her body began to fade away. "Those sound like petty reasons to me," she murmured in way of reply. "Foolish also." "Perhaps," Cologne murmured to herself, chuckling as Kasumi walked towards Siren and Perfume. "But those are the laws of the Amazon and I cannot ignore them." She paused then added quietly, "No matter how much I sometimes may want to." --- Atsuko was still in shock and Nodoka, well, Nodoka wasn't doing so well either. "They've been at Soun's the whole time?" said Nodoka dimly to herself, looking out the window of their limousine as they drove towards Nerima. "And they never called us? Ranma or Ryoga? But why?" "Genma," Atsuko said decisively after a moment. "He must've done something really big to screw things up this time. Something stupider than usual. That's why he or the boys haven't called us until now." "Until we were needed," Nodoka said with a sigh. Blinking at this, Atsuko turned to her companion, "What's the matter, Dokachan? Why the sigh?" "It's simply that I'm tired of this, Atchan," replied Nodoka, turning to face the other woman. "Tired of being left alone every other year so Genma can take the boys on another training mission. We're martial artists as well, are we not? I've taught Ranma the way of the sword and you helped Ryoga perfect his techniques along with Genma. So why should we be left behind? Only called upon when they need our help." She sighed again and said, "They treat us like we're a pair of useless shoes. I'm sick of it. I think that both our boys and Genma need to be reminded just how powerful the two of us are." Atsuko gave an almost evil chuckle and cracked her knuckles. "I like the sound of that. So what're we gonna be doing exactly? Sneak attack?" "That is what we're best at," said Nodoka with a smile. Turning forward, she pressed the button that caused the pane of glass between them and the driver to lower. "Oh, Tochi? You can stop here. We'll be walking the rest of the way." "Ma'am?" asked Tochi with some surprise. He'd been their driver for years and never he had seen anyone in their family want to walk this far to their destination. "We'll be fine, Tochi, don't worry, huh?" said Atsuko, giving him her best winning and fanged smile. As she climbed out of the car she leaned forward and said, "We just want to surprise Genchan. No worries, okay?" "Surprise?" Tochi's eyes went wide as he remembered the last surprise his Mistresses had given their husband when he'd been home. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he said shakily, "Sure... it's okay. You... you have fun... say hello to Saotome-san for me." "Oh, we will," Atsuko said huskily, laughing now. Seconds later, the limousine went screeching off leaving skid marks behind and engulfing both Atsuko and Nodoka in a cloud of smoke. "Jeez," said Atsuko, still coughing as she waved the smoke away from her face. "He didn't have to screech off like that. Not like I said anything all that scary." "I think he was having flashbacks, dear," Nodoka murmured humorously. "Unpleasant ones at that." "Yeah, well, not my fault," Atsuko grumbled. Turning back to Nodoka, she grinned widely then said, "So you ready to give our boys a good scare?" "Oh yes," said Nodoka with a smile. "Do try your best to concentrate on my thoughts though. I don't want us to get lost again because of your mind wandering." "Hey! That only happened once!" said Atsuko while the air around them began to shift colors, causing the people walking in the suburban shopping district some degree of surprise. "It was your fault for wearing such a short skirt." "Of course it was..." Nodoka's voice floated away into nothingness along with both of their figures, an event that was causing their onlookers even more panic. "I am ever so alluring after all." Although the area where they once were was empty, the shoppers all heard a dry voice say, "Egomaniac." And hearing this caused a most predictable reaction in the shoppers of downtown Juuban. "Youma! Energy sucking youma!" "No! They're heart crystal stealing youma!" "I bet they want our star seeds again!" "Worse! They're dumb looking with even dumber names youma here to assault us with lame attacks!" "That's every youma though!" Hey, you've got to go with what you know. And in Juuban, they damn well know their youma. --- Genma was tied up. Frankly, Nabiki rather tie up Ranma. He was causing far more trouble. They dumped hot water on him hoping it would snap him out of his Clefairy brained state but it hadn't helped at all. It just made him look stupider as he bounced around everywhere cuddling everyone. Including Nabiki. Who was currently sweatdropping as she looked at Ranma rubbing his head on her abdomen. Ryoga, however, was turning an interesting shade of red. "Ranma," Ryoga drew the word out slowly as he lifted up his younger brother by the collar. "How dare you snuggle your brother's iinazuke?" "Fairy, clefairy," said Ranma in kawaii tones. "Ranma," said Ryoga, his eyes narrowing. "That won't work on me. I know all your little Pokemon tricks." "Fairy? Clefairy?" Ranma looked very sad now. "It... won't... work..." Ryoga was twitching. "Faiiiiiiiryyy," Ranma wailed, looking heartbroken. "Won't... work..." Ryoga repeated. "Faiiiiiiiryyyyyy," Ranma wailed, disheartened. "Ah! Ranma! I'm so sorry!" Ryoga shouted, pulling his brother into a hug as Ranma smiled almost smugly. Shaking his head slightly, Tatewaki murmured, "Even while he possesses the brain of an innocent Clefairy, the foul Saotome still retains his ability to trick people. It is a truly sad thing to witness." "Shampoo think it funny," said Shampoo, smirking. "Yes, well, perhaps," said Tatewaki, also smiling a bit. "But I cannot help but feel sorry for Ryoga-kun." "Mphzouiwou!" Genma muttered through his gag. "Eh?" Tatewaki blinked. "What, Saotome-san?" "He wants to know why no one feels sorry for him," supplied Kodachi in glib tones, running her fingers through Ranma's silky black hair as he was once again curled up in her lap. "As if anyone could feel sorry for a creature such as him. Allowing my Ranma darling to use such a stupid technique. Why didn't he stop him?" "Well, actually, we did try to stop Ranma," said Ryoga rather sheepishly. "It's just he thought... uhm..." "He thought what?" Kodachi pursued. "He thought we were only trying to convince him not to learn the Pokefist technique because we wanted it for ourselves," said Tatewaki. He snorted then added with a chuckle, "And that we would fear him with it. When it was more like we would laugh severely at him with it." "Big brother," growled Kodachi, her expression turning dark. "I thought that I told you not to make fun of my Ranma dearest anymore." "Yes, you did," Tatewaki said as he gave a quirky smile. "But you must admit, darling sister, he makes that a rather difficult promise to uphold in current times." "Tatewaki," Kodachi hissed. She looked like she was about to do something rash when suddenly Ranma perked up in her hold and his ears seemed to twitch while he gave a sharp look around the room. "Ranma darling?" "Rewoiuwop!!!" Genma shouted against his gag. "What, Dad?" asked Ryoga blankly. "Erewouioww!!" Genma shouted again. "He said: untie me, for the love of all that's good in the world, untie me," said Kodachi in bored tones. "But why?" Ryoga asked as he took the gag out of his father's mouth but hadn't yet untied his arms and legs. "Because they're here!" Genma shouted. "Clefairrrrrry!" Ranma added with a kawaii shriek. Seconds later, in a cloud of black smoke the figures of Saotome Nodoka and Hibiki Atsuko appeared. Then just as swiftly, they then disappeared, taking Ranma, Ryoga, and Genma along with them. When the smoke cleared, everyone was left in shock. Everyone except for one person, who was used to seeing this happen since he did know both of the women. "Well," said Soun after a moment. "It's nice to see they haven't changed their habit of elaborate entrances." --- The golden light around Perfume faded and when it did, her newly merged form was revealed. And, as most would expect, it was obviously exotic. Perfume's height had lessened severely leaving the girl barely over five feet tall. Brown hair was now tinged and looked almost blonde while her ears held an elfin point to them. What was most significant was the fact that now Perfume had a pair of delicate wings on her back that definitely weren't there before. Wings that were moving almost of their own will as Perfume hovered off the floor as she looked at Siren. Her mouth opened and she cried out, "Tink!! Tink tink?" All was absolutely silent as everyone stared at Perfume and Perfume stared at everyone. Then Siren formed a very wary expression and said, "I think we have a problem." The only response Perfume gave to this was to scowl deeply and mutter low pixie curses under her breath. At least, that's what she did until Kasumi scolded her for it. --- Ukyo wasn't used to chasing girls. For all of his natural born life they had been chasing him. Wherever he went, whatever he did, it was just a given fact for Kuonji Ukyo that some girl would pursue him along the way. That was just something one had to deal with when they were as charming, handsome, and talented as he was. Because he had never gone after girls Ukyo was rather nervous as he stood in front of the Tendo dojo. Yes, he'd made up his mind that he would make Nabiki his. Not only to gain a semblance of vengeance on Ryoga but also due to the strange feelings Nabiki caused in him. Feelings Ukyo hadn't experienced since he was with a girl that he loved. That sometimes he thought he still loved. "Kuonji-san!" Ukyo turned around to look at his two bodyguards, Akira and Sato, who smiled softly at him. "You can do it, Kuonji-san," Sato said wisely. "You're a lady killer. I haven't met one girl who didn't fall for you." "This girl already likes you, right?" added Akira. "You guys," said Ukyo quietly as he formed a smile. Forming a thoroughly confident expression he declared, "All right! It's in the bag, I'll make Nabiki mine!" In response, his bodyguards gave the thumbs up signal as Ukyo moved to knock on the front door to the dojo. As the sound of desperate scurrying and shouts met his ears, he frowned deeply. Then the door opened and Kodachi stood before him, causing Ukyo to restrain the sudden urge to scream loudly. "Oh," said Kodachi with definite disappointment. "It's only you, Ukyo-kun." "Thanks," Ukyo snorted. "I'm flattered you think so highly of me, sugar. Especially after ruining my life." "I have no time for your trifling complaints, Ukyo-kun," Kodachi pronounced, walking away from him and leaving the door open. "Come inside if you wish but we're busy attending to important matters at hand." "What's going on?" asked Ukyo with a frown. He walked into the sitting room and eyed the large group of people in attendance. The one his eyes rested on was Nabiki who currently had a worried expression on her features. Ukyo quickly strode to her side and crouching down, he gently reached out to cup her chin. "Nabiki? What's wrong?" Looking up into Ukyo's sandalwood gaze that was filled with such honest concern for her, Nabiki's sniffled before she fell into his arms. "Ryoga's gone!" she cried. "Ryoga?" asked Ukyo with surprise. He darted his eyes around the room and saw only grim looks that confirmed this. He looked down at Nabiki who was resting in his arms and sighed. "Nabiki," he said in quiet but firm tones that caused her to look up at him. "Where did that lost fool wander off to this time?" "He didn't wander!" Nabiki sniffled, rubbing her eyes. "His mothers kidnapped him!" She seemed to realize where she was and gave a sharp gasp then scooted away from Ukyo who raised an eyebrow at her actions. "You don't have to move on my account," Ukyo drawled, forming a charming smile. "Why don't you go ahead and tell me what's going on, all right?" Taking a deep breath, Nabiki said, "It all started when Ranma saw this Clefairy..." The rest of the explanation was something that Ukyo would've never thought of in a million years. And he was a major movie superstar who had read thousands of the strangest scripts in the world. That had to tell you something. --- They were back home. After countless days away they were finally back home. Too bad for Genma, Ranma, and Ryoga they didn't have a chance to enjoy it. That was mostly because as soon as they arrived in the courtyard to their large mansion, Genma found himself at the end of Nodoka's katana. "Darling," Nodoka pronounced in a low purr. "Perhaps you might tell us why you've been staying with Soun and never sent us a single word of this situation?" "Yeah," said Atsuko, her eyes narrowing. "Spill it." Giving an extremely nervous laugh, Genma said, "I can explain everything! I promise!" "Then explain," Nodoka prompted, sheathing her katana. She glanced to one side and peered at Ranma who was currently crouching on the ground, holding onto Ryoga's leg. Sighing, she met Ryoga's gaze. "The Pokefist?" "Clefairy this time," Ryoga said sheepishly. "I'll take care of it," Atsuko offered, walking over to her two sons. She leaned down and when blue eyes met brown, Atsuko formed a dangerous grin that gave a very good view of her sharp fangs. Moving closer, faces inches apart, she growled, "Boo." Seconds later, Ranma blinked and dimly peered into Atsuko's smiling features then said, "Mom?" "Heya," Atsuko grinned. "Feeling better?" "Much," said Ranma, rising to his feet and looking at Ryoga with a little embarrassment. "Uhm... did I...?" "You hugged people mostly," Ryoga informed, forming a small smirk. "Nothing too racy this time." "Boys," Nodoka called out, looking over at her sons. "I don't suppose you know why your father didn't tell us of your exact location?" Sensing that Genma was about to sneak off, well, the best he could as he was still tied up, she reached out and grabbed the back of his gi to keep him in place. "Stay put," she ordered. "I know," Ranma grinned widely. "Boy do I ever know." "Then go on," Atsuko encouraged, darting her eyes back to the nervous Genma. "We all want to hear the story." "Ranma! Remember what I said!" Genma exclaimed, his expression pleading. "My punishment!" "Ain't my problem," Ranma shrugged. He pulled a flask out of nowhere and looked at the two women. "We went on a little side trip we shouldn't have, that's all." In a smooth movement, he dumped the contents of the flask over his head and changed into a blonde elf. "And this is what happens when I get hit with cold water. Pop," the grin Ranma wore turned mischievous. "Has it worse." "Jusenkyo," said Atsuko in shocked tones, her eyes wide and disbelieving. She whirled around to face Genma and demanded, "You took our boys to Jusenkyo?!" "Uhm... not me..." said Ryoga slowly. When Nodoka and Atsuko focused on him, he laughed nervously. "I sort of got separated from Father and Ranma on the trip. I did go to Jusenkyo to look for them but lucky for me I didn't end up with a curse like they did." "How long were you lost, Ryochan?" asked Nodoka with concern, approaching her eldest son. She hurriedly went to him and inspected for any injuries. "Was it long?" Ryoga grabbed her hands to stop this and smiled softly at her. "I'm fine, Mother," he assured. "But I did miss you." "Ryoga," said Nodoka, her eyes filling with tears. With a little sob she pulled him into a hug. When she finally went out of his arms it was only to embrace Ranma who turned an interesting shade of red before returning the hug. "Mother..." Ranma squeaked, her blonde pigtail lifting into the air a bit. "We're not little kids anymore. You don't have to worry so much about us." "Screw that," Atsuko said with disdain. When they focused on her, her features turned gentle. "You'll always be our little boys, so deal with it." She arched an eyebrow as she studied Ranma. "Even if you're a girl." "About that," Nodoka stared at Genma. "Why take them to Jusenkyo? Surely you remembered its curse?" Laughing even more nervously, Genma said, "Can you believe that I forgot about it until I was there and stuck in one of their cursed pools?" The dry look of skepticism that Atsuko and Nodoka exchanged told Genma they didn't believe anything of the sort. Which didn't mean anything good for him. No, not at all. --- While everyone gathered in the sitting room discussing the odd disappearance of Genma, Ranma, and Ryoga, and just what it meant, Happosai was busy searching through his treasures to pass the time. Because being blown up a few times in one day does tend to make even the most evil of martial arts Masters tired. He liked to reminisce while looking through his various 'spoils of war', or so he liked to call them, anyway. While he did this, Happosai came upon a scroll and frowned. Staring at it, he wondered why exactly he kept the thing. It wasn't of any real use and how he got it wasn't exactly the best of his adventures. With a shrug, Happosai tossed the scroll out the window of his room. And as it flew out the window it landed on Chocolate's head, bouncing off of it to fall into Akane's hands. They weren't participating in the missing persons discussion and were instead in their favorite spot. The strongest of the branches in the tree in the backyard. Chocolate was leaning against the tree itself, her arms wrapped around Akane who fell softly against her as she studied the scroll she held. Resting her chin on Akane's shoulder, Chocolate frowned. "Doesn't look like much," remarked the Amazon. "But it sure hurt when it hit my head." "Poor baby," said Akane with a giggle. "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" "Always," Chocolate said, smiling wide. She peered over Akane's shoulder as the other girl opened the scroll. Teal eyes narrowed and Chocolate said, "It's a recipe." "For pickles!" Akane exclaimed happily. Clapping her hands together, she looked at Chocolate. "Pickles is one of the few things I can make halfway decent!" "I'm sure it's better than that, Akane-chan," Chocolate remarked tenderly. "In fact," her eyes sparkled as she put her hands on Akane's waist, wrapping her up in her arms. "Why don't you show me so? I'd love some pickles." "You mean you'll let me cook for you?" asked Akane, her eyes going wide. No one in her entire life had ever asked her to do that for them. Despite how kawaii she was. On seeing Chocolate nod, Akane made a sound of delight and hugged the Amazon tight. "Yay! I love you, Chocolate!" Blushing from head to toe, Chocolate swept Akane up in her arms and bounded down to the ground. The pair then headed towards the kitchen and watching them do this were the several occupants of the sitting room. "They is happy," Shampoo commented to Tatewaki. "Indeed," said Tatewaki giving a grave nod. He smiled at Shampoo then said, "It makes my heart glad." "Is so," Shampoo beamed brightly. "How can you be so light hearted?" Kodachi demanded, jumping to her feet with certain agitation. "Ranma darling is missing and granted it was his mothers which took him from my embrace but still... I find it unacceptable!" "Sister," said Tatewaki in worried tones. "Do not distress yourself. I'm sure that they wouldn't harm one hair on his disrespectful head. He is their son, after all." He looked at Soun then said, "And didn't Tendo-san say that they had a habit of making dramatic entrances?" "Yes," Soun cleared his throat as everyone focused on him. "Atsuko and Nodoka do tend to be the serious sort. I think they simply wanted to teach Saotome a lesson for not contacting them for so long." "Then why take Ryoga? And why scare us too?" asked Nabiki. Her hazel eyes then narrowed. "I don't think I like these prospective mother in laws of mine much." "Don't blame you Nabiki honey," Ukyo said casually. He formed a rakish grin. "They sound a bit off to me." Nabiki blushed at this and was about to reply but was cut off by the sound of pots clanging together and Chocolate's sudden yelp along with Akane's apologies. "Don't worry," Soun murmured, meeting Nabiki's eyes. "They won't do anything to harm Ryoga or Ranma, that much I know for certain. Genma however..." Soun now grimaced as he thought of this. Somehow this last statement of his didn't make anyone in the sitting room upset at all. Who knows why. --- It took a few hundred few spells which caused Perfume to speak in some very interesting languages before Siren had the one she needed. Which immediately led to a long line of curses in Japanese to be spewed from Perfume's lips. At least it did until Kasumi cried out, "Perfume! That's enough!" Halting in her line of curses, Perfume looked at Kasumi then sighed deeply. "Sorry, Airen," she said. "It's all right," said Kasumi more gently. "Just... that wasn't lady like at all. Even for you." "Well, at least you're not grunting anymore," Siren said, giving a slight smile which Perfume scowled at. Giving a low cough, she spun her index finger to produce a small rain cloud over Perfume's head. "Lets test the result of the merging, shall we?" Siren then snapped her fingers and a light rainfall came from the cloud, causing Perfume to get wet and nothing more. She simply stood there getting wet and looking the same as she was before except more damp. "Success!" Siren exclaimed, giving a huge smile. "It worked perfectly, don't you think, dear?" "Grandmother," said Perfume slowly, eyeing her only relative who was smiling widely at her. "Yes my sweet Perfume?" asked Siren. "Stop rain please," said Perfume dryly, pointing up at the cloud which was still raining on her. "Oh yes, that," said Siren. She gave another snap of her fingers and the cloud stopped raining. "Better?" "Much," Perfume responded. Looking down at her body which was far smaller than it used to be, she said, "Why am I so tiny? And why couldn't I speak normally before?" "That," Siren looked a tad embarrassed. "Well..." Cologne rolled her eyes then hopped forward on her staff and said, "The merging went a little too well, Perfume. It gave you more definite aspects of your cursed form than Siren expected. Leading to you only being able to talk in pixie language until she fixed it with a counter spell." She turned to look at Siren. "Am I right?" "Always," said Siren warily. Narrowing her eyes, she said, "You've been waiting to do that to me haven't you, Cologne-chan? The perfect revenge." Quirking an eyebrow, Cologne replied, "Always." The blonde Mage started to reply when her eyes widened and she went dashing out of the magic shop. Blinking at this, her companions followed after her. "Sensei?" asked Kasumi as she and Perfume walked out of the shop and into the street. "What is it?" "Airen," said Perfume slowly, tugging on her sleeve, floating just above the ground so she'd be at Kasumi's eye level. Some parts of the merging were to her liking. She certainly enjoyed being able to fly. "Look." Following Perfume's gaze, Kasumi looked up and gasped on seeing a huge airship flying over them. And looking at it, Kasumi said what she pretty much always did. "Oh my." --- Atsuko was readying herself for another teleportation spell that would take her family back to the Tendo dojo while Nodoka stared at their mutual husband. "You honestly thought that no one would fall in if you went to Jusenkyo for training?" she said with disbelief. "No one fell in the first time!" Genma exclaimed only to wince when he saw Nodoka's deep glare. "You're lucky I love you very much," Nodoka sighed deeply. She turned to look at Ranma. "And that I know being a man is more than just having his body." "Thanks Mother," Ranma said, forming a sly smile on her pretty features. "You always know what to say." "It's a talent," murmured Nodoka smoothly. "So," she turned to Ryoga. "Your father put you up to fulfilling that promise he made with Soun, did he?" "Yes, but it's okay," Ryoga said quickly. He reddened as he continued, "I mean... I like... Nabiki's a great girl..." "What big bro here is trying to say is that he's got a thing for Nabiki so it's all cool," Ranma smirked, whapping her older brother on the shoulder. "Right, Ryoga?" "Well then," Nodoka wore a pleased smile. Looking at Genma who she still held by the scruff of his gi while he stood at her side. "You did something good for once." "I'm not all bad, see?" Genma said with a nervous laugh. "Uh hmm," said Nodoka slowly. "I see." "Dokachan!" Atsuko exclaimed. "We're ready to go so get over here and help me with directions!" "Or else we'll end up on vacation in Jamaica," Ranma chuckled. "Although," she considered thoughtfully. "That was an awful lot of fun, Mom." "I'm glad you liked it little Ran," Atsuko grinned. "But I think we better get Ryo back to his iinazuke, huh?" "Mommm," Ryoga said in a slight whine, turning red. Laughing softly, Nodoka walked over to Atsuko then said, "You're embarrassing him." "And?" Atsuko demanded lightly. "And save that until we meet this iinazuke of his," Nodoka replied, holding Atsuko around the waist. Atsuko's only response was to form a wicked grin which caused Ryoga to groan very loudly. Because as nice as it was to have his mothers back there were certain things he didn't want them involved in. His love life being one of them. --- The Tendo dojo was a confused place. That wasn't anything unusual. It was perpetually confused since the day they had first moved there. That was maybe part of its charm. Although nothing about the current situation was charming. One moment they were all discussing their absent comrades and the next a huge shadow fell over them and they were all looking at a giant airship. Seconds later, Siren appeared in a golden bubble along with Cologne, Kasumi, and Perfume. The latter of which people would've stared at if they didn't have that airship hovering over them with some weird guy on it ranting. Just when they thought it couldn't get anymore confusing, the Saotome family returned in a wink of light. Causing Kodachi and Nabiki to embrace Ranma and Ryoga. Which is exactly where we are right now. At the embracing. Something Ukyo watched with a dark gaze. "Ryoga-kun!" Nabiki cried out, hugging him. "I was so worried when you disappeared like that!" "Nabiki-chan..." said Ryoga slowly, returning the embrace with an expression of wonder. "It's all right, Mother and Mom just wanted to talk, that's all." "About that," Nabiki didn't release Ryoga and scowled slightly at the two older women. "Did you have to be so dramatic about it? You scared me to death." "Definitely Kimiko's daughter," Nodoka murmured. "Uh huh," Atsuko grinned widely. She stepped closer and tilted her head to one side, "We apologize for our antics, little lady. It's a family habit, that's all." "Kidnapping is a family habit?" asked Nabiki dryly. "Of sorts," Nodoka chuckled. Looking over at Kodachi who was busy making out with Ranma, she said, "I think you were lax in telling us about your paramour, son." "Hah," Ranma pulled away from Kodachi reluctantly, looking red from lack of breath. "Oh yeah," Ranma said as she squeezed Kodachi around the waist. "Dachi, this is my Mother and Mom. Mother and Mom, this is Dachi, my girlfriend. For over a year," she added. "That long?" Nodoka arched an eyebrow. "I'm surprised." "Me too," said Atsuko. She inspected Kodachi closely then smirked. "You must be special, girl." "I suffice," Kodachi murmured suavely. They would've kept up their casual conversation if Tatewaki hadn't cleared his throat and said, "It appears as if our airship friend is becoming agitated." On hearing this, everyone looked up at the crazy man on the airship who was beet red and shouting, "Kirin will not be ignored! Kirin is Prince of Nekonron! You will give him the other half of the sacred scroll and his bride!!" "Bride?" echoed Nabiki. "What scroll?" Ryoga frowned. "The Seven Lucky God martial artists," said Siren lowly. "What are they doing here?" "Obviously searching for their scroll," Cologne said in sarcastic tones. "I wonder who around here has that." Narrowing her eyes, Siren snapped her fingers and moments later Happosai appeared before them in a golden bubble, looking quite irate. "What do you--" he paused on seeing Siren. "Siren baby! Long time no see! Aren't you sexy as ever!" "Can it Happy," said Siren in dry tones. "I still hate you for everything you did to her. Now where's the scroll?" "What scroll?" Happosai blinked. "Kirin means it! You will give him his scroll!" Prince Kirin bellowed from where he stood on his airship. "You do not want to deal with his wrath, he promises!" "That scroll," said Siren with a faint smirk. "Oh, that," Happosai said. He shrugged his shoulders casually and said, "I threw it away." "You WHAT?!" Prince Kirin shrieked from his airship, somehow hearing Happosai's answer. "You will pay!" "I don't like the sound of that," said Ryoga warily. "This not good, Airen," said Perfume, hovering in front of Kasumi and covering her with her body. "Oh my," Kasumi commented. "He's certainly angry." "You will suffer greatly for destroying half of our country's greatest treasure!" Prince Kirin declared. He looked back at his crew and slashing his arm through the air, he declared, "Drop the pickles!" Before anyone in the dojo could properly react, a storm of pickles dropped from the airship and onto them. Burying them all in a pile of pickled monstrosity that smelled just as bad as it tasted. "Prepare the second wave!" Prince Kirin demanded. "We'll drop every last grain of rice we have on them and bomb them into oblivion for destroying our heritage!" "This sucks," Ranma mumbled, digging herself out of the pile of pickles along with Kodachi. "Wow! That's way more pickles than mine!" The few people who'd dug themselves free of the pile of pickles and those aboard the airship, looked at Akane who walked into the sitting room, a tray of pickles in hand. At her side stood Chocolate who was never far away from Akane. What more caught everyone's attention weren't the pickles on the tray but the scroll on it also. In particular it caught the attention of Prince Kirin. "My bride!" Kirin said happily. "I've found her! And she's a fine chef of pickles as well! I'm so very happy!" "Who's he?" asked Akane. Before anyone could answer her, Akane found herself wrapped up in a long fishing wire and pulled high into the air and onto the airship. Dropping the pickles as she flew into the air, she cried out, "Hey! I made those especially for Chocolate and now they're ruined!" "Never mind my bride!" Kirin laughed heartily, putting an arm around a surprised Akane's waist. "I've found you and now our kingdom is complete! We shall have many of the delicious chocolate pickles at our wedding!" "They make chocolate pickles?" asked Ryoga dimly, unaware of the exasperated looks this comment gained him. "Akane!!" Chocolate shouted, using Genma's head for a vault, she bounded into the air. She pulled out a long claw and threw it against the ship, using it to climb on board. In dark tones, she said to Kirin, "You can't have her." "Oh?" said Kirin with disdain. "And why is that?" Blinking at this question and looking lost, Chocolate replied heatedly, "You just can't! Akane is her own person you can't just make her marry you, you weird pickle guy!" "Weird pickle guy?" Kirin echoed. His eyes narrowed and he said in deadly tones, "Kirin thinks that was an insult." "Of course it was, genius!" Chocolate declared with scathing. "Now let go of Akane!" Instead of doing what Chocolate demanded, Kirin held Akane tighter and simply smirked. Which caused her to scowl deeply and fly at him with an assorted arsenal that was discarded by Kirin in a lighting fast movement with, believe it or not, a pair of chopsticks. Unfortunately for those below, all of Chocolate's various weapons which included maces, dynamite, and one or two bombs, fell to the ground. Causing quite a bit of chaos as they scurried around, trying to avoid them. Ignoring the explosions from below, Chocolate grimaced and moved into the crane position. "It's not over. I'm not going to let you take Akane," she said. "Chocolate," whispered Akane. Her eyes turned teary and she clapped her hands together happily. "You're so cool!" Everyone sweatdropped at Akane's statement, even Kirin as he gave Chocolate another look of disdain. "Try," said the Prince. "But you will never win." With that, Chocolate rushed at him, only to be swept away by the speed of his chopsticks, causing her to fall from the airship with the sound of Akane shouting her name meeting her ears. It was that sound that kept Chocolate from giving up and reaching out at the last moment, she grabbed the chain she had attached to the airship earlier. When the ship vanished into nothingness, she went along with it. Watching this happen, those gathered at the dojo were silent for a long moment then Soun spit out the pickle he had stuck in his mouth. Some would swear for years later that the name Akane echoed in the air for hours after he screamed it. Then again, that might have something to do with the fact that not only Soun was screaming it. Because it was Akane, after all. Someone as kawaii and lovable as her doesn't get kidnapped every day. And if she did, well then, the reaction would be much the same. One of complete panic. To be continued... Most characters in this fanfiction are from Ranma 1/2. This fanfic was inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi but the craziness behind it is purely my own. I'd like to thank Jim Robert Bader, Red Death, and my brother Patrick for listening to my goofy ideas. Also special thanks to Wade Tritschler for allowing me to be a part of his Altered Destinies project. Next up: Chocolate tries, tries, and tries again to rescue Akane from Prince Kirin and his pickley embrace. "I hope she didn't feel my manly parts." -Misaki; Futaba-kun Change-
Back to Black Rose, Blue Thunder Index - Back to Ranma 1/2 Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction