Black Rose, Blue Thunder (part 17 of 19)

a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Dreiser

Back to Part 16
	It was a quiet day in the village of Joketsuzoku.

	At least, it was quiet until a large group of male outsiders 
arrived demanding to speak to Grocery Bag.

	After a few moments, the meek and rather gaunt looking 
farmer appeared before the outsider males with a look of definite 
worry on his pale features. Not much for physical exertion, 
Grocery Bag spent most of his time in the fields tending to the 
vegetables there.

	He was a botanist of sorts who loved to mill around in his 
garden and come up with ways to improve the stock of their 
vegetables and plants. Because of this, he was well respected in the 
village despite his horrible lack of fighting skills. But then again, he 
was a male. So why would they want him to be fighting anyway?

	Warily staring at the group of outsider males who looked 
more than a bit hostile, Grocery Bag said in very hesitant Japanese, 
"You ask for me, yes? Need help?"

	"No," said the boy leading the group. "What we need is to 
ask you a question, Grocery Bag."

	"Question?" Grocery Bag repeated.

	"Yeah! A question!"

	"You can't hide from us now!"

	"We've finally found you, scum!"

	"Man... check out his face. No wonder he was wearing 
that paper bag over his head. Yuck."

	"Dude, that's harsh. He's not that bad looking."

	"I didn't know you swung that way, Koga."

	"What?! I don't! I was only saying--"

	Whirling around to face the other boys, their leader 
shouted loudly, "Shut up you guys! I have to ask him the question, 
remember?! We all agreed on this!"

	"Oh yeah..."

	"Sorry, Shiro."

	"Yeah, we're sorry."

	"We'll be good."

	Coughing at this, Shiro turned to face Grocery Bag who 
wore a wary look on his face. "Our question," began Shiro very 
carefully. "Is quite simple, actually."

	A long pause of silence passed before Grocery Bag 
decided to bite the bullet and asked, "What is question?"

	At this, all the boys gave a simultaneous chuckle that was 
both low and disturbing.

	Shivering now, Grocery Bag could barely look into the 
eyes of the boys which were gleaming with an almost manic light as 
they stared at him.

	"The question is this," Shiro murmured as he took a slow 
step towards Grocery Bag who instinctively backed away from the 
other boy. "Do you want your body bag to be paper or plastic?"

	"What?" Grocery Bag squeaked.

	Instead of replying, the boys roared, "GET HIM!!"

	That was when the harried pursuit of Grocery Bag began. 
And for the life of him, the Amazon just couldn't figure out why 
these outsiders were so angry with him.

	He just hoped that somehow, he would end up surviving 
their rather psychotic and pointless wrath.

	Because for outsiders, and for males, they were more than 
a bit scary. Even to someone who was used to seeing the 
extremely volatile tempers of Amazon females.

	Which tells you just how bad the situation was.

---

	Happosai was busy concentrating.

	Busy concentrating on the mass of naked females that were 
displayed before him through the small peephole he'd made into the 
women's side of the public bath, that is.

	And as far as Happosai was concerned there really wasn't 
anything else he'd rather concentrate on.

	But just as Happosai was really getting into his 
concentrating a low rumble filled the air and the ground began to 
shake in a somewhat ominous manner.

	"Eh?" Happosai murmured as he reluctantly looked away 
from the feast of female flesh before him. 

	That was when he was met with a sight that was almost as 
appealing as the denizen of naked girls inside the bathhouse.

	And what Happosai saw was around a thousand silky 
panties flying directly at him at top speeds.

	Could his day possibly get any better?

	"Sweet!" cried Happosai while he bounded towards the 
panties which continued on their thunderous path as they flew 
towards him.

	For the men who were watching the scene take place on 
the bustling Nerima street they didn't know what exactly to pay 
attention to. The dirty old man bounding towards the flying panties, 
the horde of flying panties itself, or the women whose panties were 
flying off.

	Most of them divided their attention between all three.

	Well, at least until the dirty old man got swept up inside the 
horde of flying panties which continued on its strange path of panty 
stealing destruction throughout all of Nerima.

	Because honestly, who wouldn't pay attention to that?

---

	"I can't believe she has me doing this," muttered Cologne 
under her breath as she pogoed down the street holding a small 
grocery bag in her arms. Forming a slight scowl she mimicked 
Siren's voice and said, "Be a dear and fetch me some things won't 
you Cologne-chan? After all, I have an apprentice to train while 
you have the whole day free."

	Ignoring the strange looks she was getting from the people 
she passed on the street, Cologne continued in her griping as she 
said, "As if I'm her personal servant! She hasn't changed in the 
slightest. She's still the same sneaky, presumptuous, and--"

	Before Cologne could say anything more she felt her dress 
fly up only to fall a second later, causing her to freeze. The fact that 
her dress swept up wasn't what made her freeze rather it was what 
was under the dress.

	Or what WASN'T under the dress.

	And... well... lets not even go there. Lets just say that we 
all know very well what wasn't under her dress.

	And lets just say that Cologne wasn't in the least bit happy 
that it wasn't under her dress anymore.

	In fact, one could even say she was enraged that it wasn't 
under her dress anymore. Because, above all, one should 
remember that Cologne is a woman.

	A woman who didn't like having her panties stolen.

	But then again, what woman likes that?

---

	Ryoga was having a hard time walking.

	The reason he was having a hard time walking was 
because Nabiki had her arm hooked in his and was resting her 
head just the tiniest bit on his strong shoulder.

	All in all, this served to distract Ryoga mightily.

	But not enough to keep him from noticing when a huge 
horde of panties went flying past him.

	While the horde of flying panties was a strange sight for 
even Ryoga, what he found most odd was the fact that the panties 
were somehow shouting the word 'sweet' over and over in horribly 
ecstatic tones.

	"Wow," said Ryoga in shocked tones. "What do you 
suppose that was all about, Nabiki-chan?"

	When he didn't receive an immediate reply, Ryoga turned 
to regard his iinazuke who wore what could only be described as a 
dark and murderous look on her lovely features. On seeing it, 
Ryoga jumped backwards, fearing that Nabiki had decided to take 
back her forgiveness for his actions with Kuonji.

	"N-N-Nabiki-chan?" stammered Ryoga. "What is it? Is 
anything wrong? Did I say something to upset you?"

	Nabiki's only response was a twitch of her forehead before 
she roared, "HENTAI!!!"

	Now thoroughly scared out of his wits, Ryoga did the only 
thing that he could do under his current set of circumstances.

	He passed out from sheer fright.

	Leaving him unconscious as Nabiki chased after the horde 
of flying panties, thinking that they were her best lead for finding the 
person that was responsible for her sudden lack of underwear.

	The only thing that Nabiki was thankful for was the fact 
that she just happened to be wearing a skirt today.

	Otherwise... well. She didn't even want to consider the 
consequences of that particular scenario.

	But rest assured, Nabiki would get her revenge on the 
person who had somehow whisked away her panties. And it was 
to be a very painful revenge if she had anything to do with it.

---

	It had taken hours of deliberation and much vulgar cursing 
but Perfume had finally come to a decision.

	She had finally decided whether or not she wanted to 
merge with her pixie form.

	And her decision, or at least her announcing it in her 
musical pixie language, was cut off by the bucket she was trapped 
under suddenly flying upwards with incredible force.

	"Tink tink!" Perfume cried happily as she once again gazed 
upon the light of day.

	Unfortunately, Perfume only had a second to rejoice in her 
freedom before a loud thundering noise met her ears and a sinking 
feeling hit her tiny stomach.

	"Tink?" whispered Perfume in quiet dread.

	Her sapphire eyes went as wide as saucers, well, as wide 
as tiny pixie saucers, on what she saw next. And what she saw next 
was a huge mountain of panties.

	A huge mountain of panties that were heading right towards 
her. A huge mountain of panties that, for some reason, she felt 
herself being dragged towards despite the fact that she was 
frantically beating her small pixie wings in hopes of going in the 
opposite direction.

	"Tiiiiiiiinnnnnnnk!" wailed Perfume.

	The despair in her musical voice was soon drowned out 
into barely decipherable muffles as she found herself buried in the 
mass of panties as they continued to fly through the streets of 
Nerima on their set path.

	And the people who were following the mass of panties, 
don't ask why they're following it because it's just better not to 
know, couldn't help but wonder one thing.

	Where exactly were the panties going anyway?

---

	When Ranma and Siren returned back to the sorcery shop 
they were met with an unusual sight.

	It was the sight of Kodachi trying to pry a pair of black silk 
panties off the window to the shop. Kasumi was standing next to 
her wearing a very perplexed expression.

	"Sensei," said Kasumi who turned her head on sensing the 
magic influx that heralded Siren's return. "Will you help us, please? 
Our panties are... well... stuck to the front window to the shop for 
some reason."

	"Do tell," Siren said as she tilted her head to one side. "I 
can't imagine how that would come to happen."

	"Dachi?" asked Ranma as she walked over to her girlfriend 
who was still attempting to yank her panties off of the glass. 
Pausing to peer at Kodachi's bottom which was nicely covered in 
her tight black jeans, she said, "But how in the heck could your 
panties come off? Your pants aren't torn or anything like that..."

	"I don't know how they came off!" Kodachi replied 
irritably. "But it's obviously clear that they did!"

	Before Ranma could comment any further, a loud rumbling 
met their ears and suddenly both Kodachi and Kasumi's panties 
smashed through the glass.

	Hesitantly looking up, Kodachi met the blue eyes of Ranma 
and realized that the blonde elf had protected her from the brunt of 
the shattering glass with her body.

	"Ranma darling," said Kodachi softly.

	"Heh," Ranma gave a strained chuckle and formed a 
reassuring smile as she said, "I'm fine, Dachi. It's not like some 
stupid shards of glass could really hurt me."

	"Right," Siren murmured in amused tones before she 
casually passed her hand over Ranma's back and the elf gasped as 
she felt a warm feeling surround her while the pain that had 
previously engulfed her senses left her body.

	Smiling warmly, Siren said, "Feeling better, dear?"

	"Yeah," said Ranma with a gasp. "Lots."

	"So," pronounced Siren as she tipped her head to one side 
and looked at Kasumi. "What do all you have to say about finding 
out just what whisked away your underthings?"

	"But Sensei..." began Kasumi slowly.

	"But what, dear?" asked Siren. "Don't tell me that you don't 
want your panties back? If you don't then surely my granddaughter 
would want them returned to you."

	"Of course I want them back!" Kasumi exclaimed. "It's 
just... I was wondering... what about you?"

	"Me?" Siren blinked.

	"What about your panties?" asked Kasumi.

	"Oh, that," said Siren as she gave an almost nervous laugh. 
"Let's just say that I don't put much stock in them and leave it at 
that, apprentice."

	Snickering while Kasumi turned red, Ranma said, "That's 
pretty racy for an Amazon Elder like you."

	"Elder?" repeated Siren coyly. "Whoever said that I was an 
Elder? I may have experience but that's a position I would never 
want to hold. They're far too stuffy."

	"Excuse me!" Kodachi shouted in definitely annoyed tones. 
"But shouldn't we be pursuing my wayward underwear that--"

	Once again, a loud rumbling met their ears and they turned 
to look out of the broken window and saw a very unusual sight.

	It was even unusual for Ranma and Siren, who were in fact 
the ones responsible for causing it.

	And it was the sight of more than a thousand panties flying 
past in a huge horde. And the horde, for some reason, was 
shouting the word 'sweet' which was accented by the sound of very 
irate musical bells.

	They were irate musical bells that sounded all too familiar 
to an always attentive Kasumi.

	"Perfume-chan?" said Kasumi as her eyes went wide. "Is 
that you? Oh no..." Turning to regard Siren, she said hurriedly, "We 
have to help her, Sensei! She sounds terribly upset with her current 
situation!"

	"I can't imagine why," said Siren who couldn't help but 
form a small teasing smile.

	"Sensei..." said Kasumi in exasperated tones.

	"All right, all right," said Siren as she waved her hands in a 
warding fashion. "Lets go help her, shall we?"

	"And find my panties," enforced Kodachi rather 
threateningly as she supported Ranma with one arm.

	"As if I could forget about that," Siren murmured.

	With a flick of her wrist, Siren said a few words under her 
breath and seconds later, they were engulfed in a golden ball of 
light and went flying after the panties.

	After the panties and the huge crowd of women and a few 
men that were also following after it.

	It seemed that panty fever had taken over Nerima.

---

	"Akane-chan is so wonderful," said Chocolate with a 
dreamy sigh as she watched the girl instruct Shampoo and the other 
Furinkan High girls basketball players.

	"Ehm, yes, indeed she is," said Tatewaki who eyed 
Chocolate with a look of confusion. Giving a slight cough, he then 
asked, "You're very fond of her, aren't you?"

	"No," said Chocolate in tones that could still be described 
as dreamy. "I'm more than fond of her. I'm in love with her. Utterly 
and desperately in love with her."

	"Which is still a form of fondness I suppose," Tatewaki said 
in comic tones as he gave a smile.

	Chuckling at this, Chocolate said, "I guess." She very 
reluctantly tore her eyes away from watching Akane teach her 
teammates a new play maneuver, to look at Tatewaki with careful 
eyes. "What about you?" she asked quietly. "How do you feel 
about Shampoo? I know that she's fond of you."

	"I am fond of her as well," said Tatewaki nervously while 
his cheeks turned bright red. "Shampoo is a kind and generous soul 
and I appreciate all that she has done for me."

	"Good," said Chocolate softly as she rested her chin in the 
palm of her hand. "I'm glad that you like her too."

	"Mou--Chocolate?" asked Tatewaki, who was 
experiencing confusion at the warm tone of the girl's voice as she 
studied the handsome boy next to her.

	"Tatewaki," said Chocolate solemnly. She clasped the 
boy's hand before continuing, "Shampoo needs to have someone 
like you in her life. Someone who truly likes her for herself and not 
for her position in the tribe. Someone that will love and respect her 
for who she really is. And I think... no," Chocolate smiled. "I know 
that you're that person. You two make a great couple."

	"A couple?" Tatewaki repeated dimly.

	While Tatewaki was busy going over this information in his 
brain, several loud shrieks were heard from the basketball players. 
Rising to his feet, Tatewaki's hand immediately went to his katana 
while he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but instead of 
asking, he soon found his jaw dropping entirely of its own will.

	Seconds later, he squeaked in embarrassment and covered 
his eyes with his hands in a hasty movement.

	And why did he do this?

	He did this because, for some reason, all of the girls 
basketball players on the court were not only missing their gym 
shorts but their underwear as well.

	This left them completely naked from the waist down.

	It's fairly safe to say that this was something that Tatewaki 
hadn't ever expected to see. At least, not out in public and inside 
one of his school's gymnasiums.

	"Akane-chan!" cried Chocolate as she left Tatewaki 
standing alone in the bleachers and ran down to her girlfriend who 
was looking at herself in dim shock.

	"Chocolate," said Akane while she lifted her head to look 
at the other girl. "Are your panties gone too?"

	"Panties?" Chocolate blinked. "What are those?"

	"Stupid Mousse!" shouted Shampoo. "You must be 
knowing what panties are! Is things we now missing!"

	"You mean underwear?" asked Chocolate. She shrugged 
then said, "I never wear the stuff. It makes me itch. And I don't 
think I'm going to start wearing it now if it tends to just disappear 
off of peoples bodies for no reason."

	While Shampoo twitched on hearing this, the rest of 
athletes did what they always did when there was any type of crisis 
situation on campus.

	They sought their beloved Akane's opinion.

	"Captain! What happened to our panties?!"

	"Yes, Captain Akane! What's going on?"

	"You must know, Akane! You must!"

	"Please, Akane-chan, tell us the answer!"

	Blinking at the sudden outbursts from her teammates, 
Akane said easily, "It's the panty collector."

	There was a moment of deafening silence before all the 
basketball players said together, "The what?"

	"The panty collector," repeated Akane. She frowned then 
said, "Don't tell me that you guys have never met him. He comes to 
my house once a month asking for all my old panties. Apparently 
he's like the tax collector except he collects panties. My panties 
pay for our family gas bill."

	Another long pause of silence filled the air as everyone 
considered just what Akane's words meant.

	"Akane-chan," said Chocolate after a moment. "Will you 
do me a favor?"

	"Of course I will, Chocolate!" Akane exclaimed as she 
beamed at her girlfriend. "I'll do whatever you ask!"

	"Don't give your old panties to this panty collector person 
ever again. Let your Dad pay the gas bill from now on, okay?" said 
Chocolate as she formed a sweatdrop.

	"Well... okay, if you want me to I will, Chocolate," said 
Akane rather reluctantly. "But I'll have to tell Dad that I'm not 
paying for it anymore with my old panties."

	"NO!" shouted Chocolate as her eyes went wide. Pausing 
to laugh nervously as Akane looked at her with certain surprise, 
she then said, "Don't tell him that. In fact, don't tell him at all. I'm 
sure that he'll figure it out."

	"Okay," said Akane as she smiled widely. "I will."

	Heaving a sigh of relief, Chocolate turned to reach into 
subspace and produced several pairs of pants which she had slung 
over her arm.

	"I don't have any panties," said Chocolate as she averted 
her eyes from all of the girls. "But all of you can take these pants 
and cover yourselves up with them."

	"Mousse," said Shampoo as she took her pair of pants and 
shimmied into them. "Where you get these?"

	"They were presents," Chocolate revealed.

	"Presents from who?" asked Shampoo suspiciously.
	
	"From my..." Chocolate mumbled the rest lowly.

	"From who?" Shampoo asked loudly.

	"They're from her fan club," Akane intervened as she hung 
onto Chocolate's arm after putting her pants on. "They're always 
giving her all kinds of neat presents."

	"Fan club?" echoed Shampoo.

	"Yeah," said Akane brightly. "The Chocoholics."

	"Mousse..." began Shampoo in tones of definite shock. 
"Mousse have a fan club?"

	"No," said Akane with a frown. "Chocolate does." Turning 
to her girlfriend, she asked, "Why does Shampoo keep calling you 
Mousse, Chocolate?"

	"Uhmm... well, about that," Chocolate began nervously. 
She started to laugh in high pitched tones then said quickly, "Lets 
forget about it and find your panties, huh? I mean, they can't have 
just disappeared can they?"

	"Chocolate," Akane's frown grew. "Why won't you answer 
me? Why does Shampoo call you Mousse?"

	"Akane," stammered Chocolate. "I can explain. I--"

	"Is her surname."

	Turning to look at Shampoo with confused eyes, Akane 
asked, "What do you mean? I thought that in your Amazon tribe 
you didn't have surnames."

	"Chocolate is very... unusual," said Shampoo who formed 
a sly and very wicked smile. "She only one in tribe to have last 
name. Real name is Chocolate Mousse. She no like this name so 
asked to be called by one or another. I used to call her Mousse but 
now," Shampoo paused to regard Chocolate solemnly. "I will do as 
she wishes and call her by true self. I will call her Chocolate."

	"Shampoo," whispered Chocolate. "Thank you."

	"You has deserve new start," murmured Shampoo. She 
paused and a gleam arrived in her scarlet eyes as she said, "But 
now I'm thinking that we need to find missing panties. After all, we 
shouldn't let anyone dishonor the Furinkan High girls basketball 
team. Is that not so?"

	"Yeah! Shampoo-san is right!"

	"Lets find our panties!"

	"And the jerk behind all this!"

	"We'll stomp them into the ground!"

	With a loud thundering noise, the girls stampeded out of the 
gym to begin their quest to find their missing panties. It was a quest 
that wouldn't take them very far.

	Whether this was good or bad really isn't known.

	But it is known that after they left the gym, Tatewaki was 
still left alone in the gym covering his eyes with his hands and frozen 
in a state of timidity.

	"Shampoo?" began Tatewaki in very hesitant tones. 
"Chocolate? Akane? Is anyone here?"

	It would take him over ten minutes to work up enough 
courage to finally lower his hands only to find the gym empty and 
himself alone.

	"Where did they all go?" asked Tatewaki softly.

---

	"There!" said Taro as he gained his breath. "It's right there, 
Akari! It's finally stopped moving!"

	"About time," Akari huffed. She frowned as she looked at 
the horde of panties which were floating above the front yard to a 
local high school. "What the heck is that thing anyway, Taro? And 
why did it take my panties?"

	"Beats me," said Taro with a shrug. "But whatever it is, it's 
not going to get away with doing it!"

	After saying this, Taro took off in a run towards the panties 
with a look of utter determination. Watching him depart, Akari's 
eyes went wide.

	"He's defending me... sort of," Akari murmured. "I 
wonder... could he be the one that Grandfather wanted me to wait 
for? He does love Pokemon as much as I do."

	"Tauros, tauros."

	Feeling the Tauros nudge at her waist, Akari looked at the 
hulking pokemon and smiled. "You want to go after him?" she 
asked. "All right, lets go. Besides, they are my panties. I should be 
the one to punish whoever did this, not him. Although," Akari wore 
a mischievous smile. "I don't see the harm in letting Taro punish 
them as well."

	With that, Akari took off after Taro with Tauros running 
right behind her. When she reached him she found that he wasn't 
the only one wanting her panties and a good dose of revenge on 
whoever was responsible for this.

	Which wasn't really all that surprising.

	"HENTAI!!!" roared Nabiki as she punched at the horde 
of panties. "I know you're inside there! Get out!!"

	After Nabiki did this, a muffled series of bell like tinkles 
were heard and she scowled at the sound.

	"It figures that Amazons would be behind this," Nabiki 
muttered lowly. "Now I'm really going to kick your ass, Perfume! 
And not even Kasumi can stop me!"

	"What is you saying?"

	Turning around, Nabiki met Shampoo's fiery scarlet gaze 
and snorted. "It's only you," said Nabiki in dry tones. "Don't try to 
stop me. I know that your Amazon sister is behind all this. I can 
hear her inside there."

	Frowning at this, Shampoo closed her eyes and 
concentrated then soon heard the sound of her Cousin making her 
usual musical bell sounds from inside the huge horde of panties that 
was floating in the air.

	"So?" Shampoo retorted. "Just because can hear Perfume 
Cousin in there not mean she do this." Giving Nabiki a derisive 
look, she asked, "Why would she be doing this anyway? It make 
no sense for her to."

	After she said this Shampoo could swear she heard 
Perfume give a tinkling and muffled cry of agreement.

	Finally calming down, Nabiki said reluctantly, "Maybe you 
have a point. But if she didn't do this then who did? I don't hear 
anyone else inside there."

	That was when the horde of panties cried out in rather 
ecstatic tones, "Sweet! It's so sweet! All these silky darlings just for 
me and me alone! Life is sweet!"

	"You was saying?" commented Shampoo dryly.

	"Shut up," Nabiki said darkly as she scowled. Bunching her 
hand into a fist, she shouted, "Get out of there you dirty hentai!! 
Get out of there and let me beat the crap out of you already!!"

	"Oh, that a good way to persuade them," Shampoo 
muttered under her breath. Turning to look at Akane who had 
observed all of this in silence, she said lowly, "Is you sure that she 
is really your blood sister, Akane? She not at all like you and your 
sister Kasumi. Is much crazier."

	"Nabiki's my Oneechan all right," said Akane with a smile. 
"And she's always been a bit high strung."

	At this comment both Shampoo and Chocolate 
sweatdropped before the latter said, "Even if the person 
responsible for all of this is inside of those panties how in the world 
are we going to get them out of there?"

	"Oh, with a bit of magic."

	On hearing this, all three girls looked up to gaze upon the 
figures of Siren, Ranma, Kodachi, and Kasumi floating over them 
inside of a golden bubble.

	Floating down to the ground and causing the bubble to 
diminish as their feet hit the surface, Siren said, "It wouldn't take 
more than a flick of my wrist to break apart all of those panties and 
discover the thief inside."

	"And who says that the thief isn't you?"

	Siren turned to regard Cologne, who had appeared out of 
nowhere, causing everyone but Siren and Akane to give a 
noticeable jump into the air on seeing her.

	"Me? I'm hurt, Cologne-chan. Really I am," said Siren in 
teasing tones as she wore a wounded expression.

	"Right," said Cologne in droll tones. "You want to prove 
me wrong? Go ahead and expose the real thief."

	"With pleasure," said Siren with certain flourish. Giving 
Cologne a saucy smile and a wink, she turned to face the horde of 
panties. Raising her hands high into the air she chanted in low tones 
and the panties began to fall away and seconds later they landed on 
the ground with a thunderous crash, causing a gigantic crater in the 
front yard to Furinkan High. On seeing this, Siren gave an almost 
sheepish laugh and said, "Sorry about that."

	No one really noticed Siren's apology because they were 
too busy focusing on the pile of panties. Or rather, what lay on top 
of the pile of panties.

	And what lay on top of the pile of panties was the figure of 
a dirty old man who was hugging them to his body.

	In a split second, all the enraged and panty-less females 
present realized exactly who the old man was.

	He was the one who stole their panties. And he was going 
to pay and pay dearly for what he had done.

	That was when they all mobbed on him like a mass of 
uncontrollable locusts intent on tearing him to pieces. It was a 
scene that lasted barely a minute before they had him reduced into 
a mere shell of a man, and somehow after finding their right and 
proper panties, the women left the premises of Furinkan High to its 
usual insanity.

	"Why me?" groaned Happosai from where he lay in a 
destroyed heap in the huge crater where all of his panties had been 
before the girls had taken them back.

	"Tink tink tink!" Perfume groused before she gave him a 
swift kick to the head which caused him to pass out. She then 
fluttered out of the crater and towards Kasumi, only pausing to 
look at Nabiki and stick out her tongue.

	"Perfume-chan, you're all right," said Kasumi with some 
relief as the tiny pixie flew forward to rest in her open hand. 

	"Tink tink," muttered Perfume. She averted her gaze from 
Kasumi's and said softly, "Tink tink tink."

	"Yes, I imagine that it was embarrassing," said Kasumi. "I'd 
want to merge with my cursed form after having to go through that 
as well. But Perfume," Kasumi formed a charming smile as she said 
this. "I personally think that you would look very lovely that way. 
Not that you don't already look lovely in either form."
	
	While Perfume blushed prettily at this, Cologne studied the 
crumpled figure in the crater and said rather darkly, "Happosai. I 
should have known."

	"It seems the blemish has returned to cause even more 
trouble in our lives, Cologne-chan," said Siren as she formed a face 
of definite distaste. "I'd say finish him here but he's like roaches and 
Twinkies. He'll survive whatever we manage to throw at him."

	"Happosai?" repeated Nabiki. She frowned and said, "You 
mean that guy who trained my Dad? He was the one who did this?"

	"Yup," said Ranma with a nod of her blonde head. 
"Apparently the guy is a first class pervert. Right, Dachi?"

	"Indeed," said Kodachi as her violet eyes glared at 
Happosai's crumpled form. "He's a pervert in all ways and I would 
very much endorse destroying him right now."

	"Destroy Barnacle-chan?" asked Akane with wide eyes. 
"But he's harmless! He just likes to hug a lot!"

	"Barnacle-chan?" Nabiki said as she turned to her sister. 
"And what do you mean by he likes to hug a lot?"

	"She didn't mean anything!" Chocolate cut in as she gave a 
nervous smile and clasped her hand over her girlfriend's mouth. She 
then turned to Akane and said in quiet tones, "I thought I told you 
to stop letting him hug you like that, Akane. He's a person and not 
a barnacle! Not much of a person but still..."

	"But he looks like a barnacle," Akane pouted.

	"Can't argue with that," said Ranma with a smirk.

	Sighing at this, Chocolate gave up trying to reason with 
Akane and merely let the other girl hang onto her arm like usual. 
Then she noticed that Cologne was focusing on her with a close 
and definitely curious gaze.

	Giving a nervous gulp, Chocolate quietly swept Akane into 
her arms and in seconds, the pair disappeared from the gathering of 
people without anyone noticing.

	"I say we put him in an iron box and sink him into the 
Pacific Ocean," offered Ranma easily.

	"Poison is an apt solution," Kodachi murmured.

	"We should just beat him up again," Nabiki said.

	"Why not hand him over to the proper authorities?" asked 
Tatewaki who appeared out of nowhere in a manner almost similar 
to Cologne's.

	"Tachi," said Shampoo as she let out a breath of air. "Stop 
doing that to Shampoo. Is a bit scary."

	"I apologize, Shampoo-san," said Tatewaki as he gave a 
slight bow of his head. "Stealth is a habit of mine."

	"Frankly," said Siren in an enchanting lilt. "I don't think any 
of those suggestions are good enough to punish the little pervert. 
We should pull out the big guns."

	"A fireball spell?" Cologne suggested.

	"Worse," Siren replied with a gleam in her eyes.

	"I like that idea," said Cologne as she smiled.

	"A fireball? That's too quick," said Nabiki with a scowl. 
"We need a torturous long lasting punishment."

	"No, fireball! That sounds cool!"

	"Ranma, be reasonable. It's too fast."

	"Fireball! Fireball!"

	"Why not turn him over to the authorities?"

	"The police? Please. They're afraid of us here."

	"Oh, well, yes. That makes sense I suppose."

	"I still say poison is an apt solution."

	"Tink tink tink! TINK!"

	"Perfume-chan! Now that's just mean!"

	"Tink tink. Tink tink, tink."

	"Well, I do understand but honestly..."

	As the debate about just what to do with Happosai 
continued on, it grew to massive sound levels.

	It was so loud, that they almost didn't hear when a high 
pitched whistle pierced the air to get their attention.

	Almost but not quite.

	Turning around, the group regarded the handsome boy 
with curly hair who wore Chinese style clothes. Next to him stood 
a pretty girl and a large bull like creature. On seeing the creature, 
Ranma's eyes went wide and she made a discreet move to stand 
behind Kodachi for protection.

	"I have a better idea," the boy said. "Why not give him over 
to me? I'm sure that I could punish him in a way that would make 
all of you happy. And I have more than just his panty thieving as 
my reason for wanting to do it."

	"Oh?" said Cologne as she quirked an eyebrow. "And just 
what do you plan to do, boy?"

	Forming a slow smile, the boy averted his eyes from 
Cologne's and walked over to the bull like creature and pulled out 
a flask. Upending it over his head, they all watched as he turned a 
pink and cuddly creature that only one of them recognized 
immediately as a Clefairy.

	Ignoring their looks of wonder, the Clefairy walked over to 
where Happosai still lay in a crumpled heap and closing it's eyes it 
held its fingers into the air while rocking back in forth in a dance.

	Seconds later, a huge explosion erupted.

	It was an explosion that surrounded Happosai and sent him 
flying high into the air only to land seconds later back inside of the 
now smoldering crater with a loud thud.

	The Clefairy wore a smug smile as it hopped into the crater 
and produced a rope out of nowhere to tie the martial arts master 
up with. It then drug Happosai out of the crater and towards the 
amazed onlookers.

	"Fairy, clefairy," said the Clefairy with a smile.

	"Well," said Kodachi after a moment. "That certainly was a 
tad on the anticlimactic side, wasn't it?"

	"At least he got punished," Nabiki offered. "And it was sort 
of fun to watch him get blown up like that."

	"I suppose you're right," murmured Kodachi. Tilting her 
head back she continued, "What about you, Ranma darling? Did 
you find it amusing?" Pausing as she saw Ranma hiding behind her 
and shivering uncontrollably, she said, "Ranma darling? Is 
something the matter? What troubles you?"

	"Cle-Cle-Cle-Cle-Clefairy," stammered Ranma.

	"Clefairy?" echoed Kodachi in confusion.

	"Clefairy!" Ranma said with a terrified squeak.

	"Clefairy, fairy?" asked the Clefairy as it neared the group 
on hearing its name being said.

	"CLEFAIRY!!" screamed Ranma in maniacally kawaii 
tones that were more than a bit frightening.

	That was when it was finally revealed. The secret technique 
and the secret shame of Saotome Ranma.

	 Otherwise known as the legendary pokefist.

To be continued...

------------------------------------------------

I'd like to thank Jim Robert Bader, Red 
Death, and my brother Patrick for listening to my goofy ideas. Also 
special thanks to Wade Tritschler for allowing me to be a part of 
his Altered Destinies project.

Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780 

Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm

Next up: The horrifying power of the pokefist and the ridiculous 
way it makes Ranma act.

"I'll exorcise all of you, and that little ghost too!"
-Hojo Haruto; Haunted Junction-

Juri Rules All.
Mokona is Satan.
Yes, I'm a girl.
-Quotes from me-

Onwards to Part 18


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