Love Lies Bleeding
Author’s Notes:
This took me an afternoon while waiting for everyone to set up my brother’s
birthday. ^-^ It was either this or a Chuck E. Cheese romance story (my little
brother’s turning 7, so that’s where we’re going ;_;) and I’m more morbid than
that. ^-^;; I think the scariest thing is that I do have a plot centered around a
Chuck E. Cheese. O_o Good thing I don’t have characters worked out yet. ^-^
Oh well. This is my second Sasami & Misao story and it wasn’t as happy as I
would have liked, but I’m glad I got the chance to. ^-^ They make such a cute
couple. ^=^ Hopefully I can again soon. ^-^ If you like this or have any
suggestions for a future story I could do about them, please e-mail me. ^-^
Thanks so much for reading. *hugs* Oh, and I know that I’m reusing a the title
from a CCS fic I wrote, but the friend I got the title from didn’t like it so I’m
hoping this one will fit better. ^^;; Then again, third time’s a charm, so you
never know.
Heather
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Emptiness. The cold, infinite emptiness in her heart was all that made
up Misao’s world for the moments it took to listen to the answering machine.
Her mother was going to be late again and she wasn’t supposed to wait up. Her
cram school had called about her extended absences. And the doctors wanted to
run more tests. Possibly even another operation.
Whenever the world was at it’s darkest, something happened to make
matters worse. She had had an awful day at school, that sea of people that hardly
knew her and hardly cared rushing past, catching her in their wake. Her body
ached horribly, a reminder of how sick she had been feeling all day. No one had
seen her when she had collapsed from the pain in the hallway. When she had
passed into unconsciousness, an awful dream about an evil blonde girl fighting
Sasami in a cute magical girl outfit played out for her. It wouldn’t have been so
horrible if she hadn’t been the blonde girl in the dream. She never wanted to
fight Sasami, to ever cause any trouble to her best and only friend.
The horrible pains had been scaring her more and more lately. She
could barely see past the pain at times as it consumed her. It was becoming
clearer and clearer to her that she was going to die. She was getting sicker.
Which meant more operations. And her mother would have to work even harder
and later to pay for it all. She barely saw her mother as it was and the poor
woman was already overworked. She didn’t want to make things worse. Holding
herself, the pale girl shivered at the thought of another operation. The hospital
frightened her. If anything, it just made things hurt even worse than they already
did and made her mom worry about whether or not she’d pull through. The look
on her mother’s face when she was talking to the doctor the last time chilled her
soul. Her mother never did tell her what he had said, but she feared the worst.
Everything was cold. Everything was lonely. Everything hurt her.
Misao brushed away pained tears from her aquamarine eyes. It hadn’t occurred
to her at first that she had been crying. She contemplated the crystalline droplet
as more streamed down her cheeks. Her lips quivered as a sob escaped her. She
hugged herself tightly against the harshness of the world. If only she were with
Sasami, then maybe... No, she couldn’t depend on Sasami all of the time. She
was already a burden on her mother. Was she a burden to Sasami as well? The
other girl offered her unconditional friendship when she needed it the most,
helping her and spending time with her when everyone else was usually content
to ignore her and let her die in a corner somewhere. There was no doubt in her
mind that she would have died a long time ago had it not been for Sasami. But
now the thought that she was just burdening the blue haired girl with her own
insecurities and loneliness hurt her deeply. Why did Sasami waste her time with
her? Did she feel sorry for her? No one else thought she was worth the time of
day.
Biting pain shot through Misao, her breathing becoming ragged as she
clutched at her chest. Staggering forward, more tears fell from her. The entire
house held a lonely silence, the only sound her own labored breaths. “Please,
make it go away...” she begged. The pain in her body was almost as strong as
the pain in her heart. Why did it always have to be this way? Why was she so
weak? “Mama... Don’t take me back.. to the hospital... I’ll be just fine, I
promise...” Whimpering at the pain that burned through her senses along with
the hopelessness surrounding her, Misao struggled to get to her room. The world
tilted on it’s side halfway up the stairs, making it ever more difficult to think.
She needed to lie down. She needed to make it all go away. Her next step missed
the stairs by a few inches, her disoriented body failing to compensate as the
world dropped out under her. The pain became more intense as she fell back
down the stairs. She barely got out a short yelp before she hit the floor near the
foot of the stairs.
Time stood still. It had no meaning to Misao. Her world was ablaze in
pain and fear. “Mama...” she choked out, her chest aching as her breathing
labored on. Weakly raising her hand shakily, she was shocked to see it covered
in her own blood. Another silent sob escaped her bruised lips. She could see the
door from where she was lying, her shoes all alone. Her mother wouldn’t be
back for hours. Her heart shattered as she came to the painful realization that she
was going to die all by herself. There was no one to comfort her, no one to ease
her pain.
‘Sasami!!’ her feverish mind shot out in desperation. ‘I need to tell her.
I need her to know or she’ll be mad. She’s the only one who cares. She’ll be
mad at me if I don’t tell her why I’m gone.’ She grasped onto that one thought
as her body began to go numb in a number of places, not dulling the sharp pain
inside in the least. She barely managed to get a hold of the phone, pulling it
close as she pushed the speed dial for her only friend. The seconds ticked on like
hours, defeat threatening her as death’s door drew ever nearer. As she was about
to give up, to quit like she always did, a cheerful voice answered.
“Moshi moshi.”
“Sa.. sa..mi...” Misao got out painfully. Her heart caught in her chest
for a moment. The fear that she wouldn’t be able to tell Sasami before she was
taken away gripped her. “..sami...” she whispered again into the receiver, her
hand shaking.
Sasami froze. Something was dreadfully wrong. “Misao-chan? Misao,
is that you? What’s wrong? You sound strange.”
Misao released a muffled sob, pulling the phone closer. “..it hurts...
sami.. hurts so much… I’m sorry.. so sorry... I just… I want.. it to stop...” she
barely managed to get out.
“Misao? Misao, you’re not making sense. What’s going on? Misao-
chan, you have to tell me what’s going on,” Sasami urged. She was growing
frantic. Misao sounded awful and she could barely make out what she was
saying. What could have happened to her?
“..won’t go away... Always hurts... gomen nasai... Sasami.. I.. I.. love
you..” Misao’s sob was more prominent this time. Her grip on the phone
weakened. She didn’t want to go. Sasami meant so much to her. But she was her
only reason to stay anymore and it didn’t look like it was her choice.
“Misao-chan? What? I... Are you at home?” Sasami clutched the phone
to her ear painfully, not wanting to miss anything. There was no response after a
long silence, only ragged breathing. “Misao! Misao-chan!!” she screamed into
the phone.
Was someone calling her name? “Mama..? Gomen, mama.. You won’t
have... to work so hard.. anymore, mama..” Tears welled up as her eyes closed,
falling off of long lashes. Misao could barely hear Sasami anymore, the phone
slipping from weak fingers. The tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with
the blood dripping down her chin. She shivered in the cold, empty house. Alone.
Always alone.
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Sasami thanked all that was Holy when she found the door to Misao’s
house open. Her initial reaction started to dissipate when she realized what that
could mean. Anyone could have gotten in. Someone might have hurt Misao. She
sounded in pain on the phone. What if... Sasami pushed off the thought as she
walked inside. There was no time for speculation. She need to find out what
happened.
What she saw froze her in her tracks. Misao was lying not far from the
door at the foot of the stairs, the phone next to her with a bloody handprint.
Misao herself wasn’t moving, blood seeping through her ripped white school
blouse. “Misao-chan!!” Sasami gasped. Rushing to the raven haired girl’s side,
her heart pounded in her chest. Her worst fear made her legs go numb
underneath her as she sat down hard next to her best friend. She couldn’t be
dead. That wasn’t fair. She needed Misao. Her hands searched desperately for a
heartbeat, for any sign that there was still life in that weak, battered body. Misao
made a weak noise as she moved under Sasami’s questing fingers. Stopping the
search for a heartbeat, Sasami sat in silence for a brief moment. “Misao? Can
you hear me?! Misao-chan, I’m here. I’m right here. Don’t close your eyes. You
have to stay with me. I won’t let you go,” she said urgently.
Misao’s eyes blinked open slowly. She could vaguely make out a shape
next to her, blue blurs next to what she thought was the face. She wasn’t dead
yet? When would her suffering be over? “Sa..sami?” she asked weakly. “You..
came?”
Sasami wiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands as she nodded
hurriedly. “I had to. Of course I came. You’re my best friend, Misao-chan. I
can’t leave you alone.” Misao was about to close her arms, but Sasami protested
adamantly . “No, you can’t! Stay with me, Misao-chan. Stay here with me. I’ll
get help for you. You’ll be just fine.” Sasami grabbed the blood stained phone
off the floor and quickly dialed up the paramedics.
“No, please don’t, Sasami..” Misao whimpered as she tried to roll over.
“No more doctors.. I don’t.. I don’t want anymore doctors...”
Sasami’s insides were turned inside out at the pain in Misao’s voice.
She knew that Misao had been a very sick girl for very long, but Misao had
never told her about any doctor’s visits or anything about being so afraid of
them. She gathered Misao in her arms when she was finally done with the call.
“Oh, Misao-chan. Everything will be just fine. I promise. We’ll go get ice cream
after all this. Or we’ll go to the park. No, you don’t like the park. We’ll do...
We’ll do whatever you want to do. I promise.” Sasami’s voice break as tears
began welling up in her eyes. She held her broken friend tighter.
By now Misao was far to numb, the pain already having been plunged
through indescribable in comparison to the pain that shot up from Sasami’s
arms. Besides, it felt so warm, so safe, so soothing. She wouldn’t give up her
spot in them even if the pain was unbearable. “Thank you... Sasami-chan..” Her
body shook as she coughed painfully, small flecks of blood getting on Sasami.
“I just... I want it to go away... I want it to stop hurting... I want it.. all to stop
hurting..” Shaking her head weakly, more tears fell down her deathly pale
cheeks. “I can’t make you.. promise that, Sasami.. because... I don’t want to be
here..” Her voice was full of pain and sorrow, her small body shaking from the
raw emotion inside.
Sasami shook her head violently. “No, don’t say that, Misao-chan.
Don’t leave me alone. Please, stay here with me. Please stay, Misao-chan.
There’s still plenty of reasons to stay. I promise we’ll see them all together.”
“You’re.. you’re the only reason to stay, Sasami..” Misao whispered
softly, trying to look up at the blue haired girl through her hazy vision.
“Everything else... hurts too much.. I don’t want.. to hurt anymore..”
Aquamarine eyes met pink ones, displaying all of the loneliness and unshed
tears in the dimming orbs.
“But.. me?” Sasami shook her head. How could she be the only thing
worth sticking around for? She didn’t care. As long as Misao did, what did it
matter? How she was, was trivial. “Misao-chan, I don’t want you to hurt either.
If I’m you’re only reason, then please stay for me. I don’t want to be alone. I
need you.” She brushed some of Misao’s matted hair away from her eyes,
meeting them with her own teary eyes. “I love you, Misao-chan. Don’t make me
go on without you. You still have to sing for me. You have to help me when I’m
lonely. You have to... It doesn’t matter what you have to do as long as you stay
with me, Misao.” She pulled Misao closer, on the verge of tears at the battle
between life and death her friend was facing.
Misao blinked weakly, still trying to make out Sasami. “You... love
me?” she asked tentatively. Her hand reached up slowly, brushing Sasami’s
warm cheek. Her own hand was so cold. “Sasa.. mi-chan... I.. love you, too..”
The coldness inside seemed to melt away, the pain becoming more bearable as
Sasami held her close. “I.. love you..” she repeated with as much strength as she
could muster.
Smiling softly, tears starting to trickle down her face, Sasami nodded.
“Thanks, Misao-chan. Those are the nicest words I could ever hear.” Placing a
hand on Misao’s cheek, she leaned forward, kissing the raven haired girl as
gently as she could despite the pounding in her heart that ached for more. The
soft lips were still bloody, giving the kiss a coppery taste. “Misao-chan...”
Sasami wiped at her eyes, trying to control her emotions but finding it
impossible. “Now you have to stay. You have to stay with me. Because I love
you. And I won’t leave you alone.”
“Sasami...” Misao whispered weakly, managing a faint smile. “Thanks,
Sasami... I don’t want to be alone..” She closed her eyes tiredly, feeling so warm
and peaceful in Sasami’s arms. The pain didn’t even seem to be there, in her
body or in her heart. The blue haired girl’s voice sounded so distant as she lay
against her. Was it becoming more insistent? She couldn’t tell as everything
started to slow down. She was so tired. It would be nice to get some rest. Some
rest in the arms of the girl she loved. Everything started to get brighter as her
spirits rose. She was finally happy. “I.. love you... sami..”
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“Owww...” Misao tried to roll over in bed as pain stabbed her...
everywhere. Her whole body hurt. She felt like she’d just gotten back from
being beat up by her entire class. Except Sasami. Sasami would never do that.
She tried to sit up in bed but found it nearly impossible. She weakly slumped
back down onto her pillow. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the IV in her
arm. Not the doctor. Anywhere but there. They always wound up hurting her.
The chill of fear building inside of her was immediately quelled by a sweet
voice near her bedside.
“Misao-chan! You’re awake,” Sasami exclaimed joyously, rubbing the
sleep from her eyes as she slipped out of the chair she’d been sitting in and
reached the raven haired girl. All of the worry that had been turning her stomach
in knots for the past few hours finally loosened its grip on her. Seeing Misao
awake reassured her that everything would be alright.
“Sasami-chan?” Confusion swirled around in Misao’s still drugged
mind. She wanted to pull out the IV, but somehow she doubted Sasami would let
her go through with it. But just seeing the blue haired girl there was enough to
soothe her frayed soul.
“Shh... Try not to move too much. You’re supposed to get some rest.
Your mother was really worried about you. The doctors spent a long time
making you better. But she’ll be glad to know you’re all right now.” Reaching
down, Sasami took Misao’s hand in her own. It was cold to the touch. A smile
graced her face when Misao’s hand weakly held on. “It’s going to be alright
now, Misao-chan.”
Misao’s eyes slid closed as everything slowly started coming back to
her. All of the fear and pain from her memories seemed almost as potent even
then through her sleepy mind. Tears welled up in her aquamarine eyes. Sasami’s
warm fingers reached out, brushing them away from her soft, pale skin.
“Sasami-chan...”
“I promise. I promise it will all be better. I’ll make sure it is because I
won’t leave your side.” Sasami smiled brightly, even through the tears that
started to build up in her own eyes. It had been quite a scare earlier, but now she
was just glad she had the chance to fix things. She bent down over the other girl,
giving her a soft, lingering kiss. “I love you, Misao-chan.”
Misao blushed fiercely but couldn’t do much else, her mind nearly
freezing. The whole thing seemed worth it, if only for that. She would go
through that pain over and over again if it meant she could be with Sasami. Her
mind clouded over, but now with a much warm and fuzzier feeling than the pain.
She couldn’t help but believe Sasami that things would be better. How could
they not be with her? “I love you, too, Sasami-chan.”
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