"I'm really very sorry," Charming said sheepishly as they rode away from yet another rescue, the adoring female fans looking a bit disappointed at their leaving. The beautiful blonde haired young woman looked so boyish it was easy to understand the girls interest, especially with her fine cloak and gleamingly clean clothes. Oddly her companion didn't notice that a fair bit of the interest was, in fact, being directed towards her. "No more side trips," Snow White growled out, her own long black hair tied back to try to keep it out of her face. "We've probably added a few days to the trip as it is," she scowled, noting with some irritation how messy her own garb was. The chain mail had begun to rust, despite her attempts to scour it clean, and the cotton undershirt was stained and getting a bit rank. Her cloak was muddy, the once flowing cloth heavy and uncomfortable. Charming nodded glumly. "There are just so many people in need," she explained quietly, "I fear I find it difficult to turn away." They rode on, Rosebud and Charming's noble steed moving at a steady pace along the highway towards Snow White's homeland and her waiting sister. "Me, too," she finally conceded, "but we have other concerns, too." "Fair enough," Charming brightened slightly, "did Rose really miss me?" Snow grit her teeth to keep herself from saying something rude. Variations of this conversation had been going on for the last few days as they journeyed onward and she was getting more than a little tired of it. "She was heart broken over losing you," she said patiently. Charming frowned, still looking adorable as she did so. "Your mother is going to be upset, though," she fretted. 'I wonder if Rose would be upset if I just clubbed Charming unconscious and then hauled her home?' she thought. Discarding that idea Snow continued, "Rose has my mother wrapped around her finger, if you make Rose happy then my mother will be happy." As they passed a nearby village a young woman raced forth, her dress low-cut and breasts bouncing so much even Rose was distracted. "Wandering heroes, I'm so glad you gentlemen came," she sighed, "we need your help!" 'Gentlemen?' Snow blinked, then as she saw Charming's eyes light up eagerly she groaned, 'Oh no, not again....' It did turn out to take a bit over a week of travel to finally reach the castle, a hectic week of adventures for the both of them. First there was the great wyrm threatening a village, then a giant who was blocking the pass and finally another maiden being threatened by a hulking troll. It was that last rescue that was bothering Snow now.... The troll itself hadn't been that much trouble, in all honestly. Usually nocturnal creatures, the troll was dumb and slow in the heat of the summer sun and together the two of them had been able to lure it into a deep crevasse that was nearby. Snow knocked it off balance and down it went, eventually landing wit a loud thump. Not enough to kill it, but that would slow it down a while. Returning to free the maiden the fail lady had rushed right by Charming, ignoring the woman, and instead pressed herself to Snow White, her shredded dress now scandalously revealing. "Oh thank you," she exclaimed before pressing her lips to Snow's. "Urk," Snow couldn't even talk for a moment, even more startled to feel the girl's eager tongue gently pressing against her own lips. Gently she disengaged, a fierce blush coloring her cheeks as she softly said to her, "Are you all right?" "I am now," she purred, long red hair flowing over her shoulders as she looked up to meet Snow's eyes hotly. Charming looked like she wanted to laugh, her eyes nearly dancing. "I thought you said we were in a hurry?" Charming asked. "Right," Snow seized on that, quickly putting some distance between herself and the amorous young lady, "we have, uhm, a quest! Right!" With that she mounted Rosebud, Charming soon following as they moved off. "Awww," the beautiful girl pouted, sticking out her bottom lip adorably as the two heroes rode off with undue haste. "Are you all right?" Charming asked the blushing Snow. "What was that about?!" Snow squeaked. "You mean your mother never explained?" Charming blinked innocently. She took a breath and started, "Well, you see it happens when a man and a women come together, and...." "Not the birds and the bees," Snow snapped at her before gesturing back towards the ruined keep they were riding away from, "I mean that woman back there!" Charming looked over at her thoughtfully, suddenly seeming serious. "You haven't looked in the mirror lately?" she asked. "Of course not," Snow said irritably. "With your clothes, hair tied back and no makeup," Charming explained to Snow patiently, "you look like an adventurer, not a princess looking for her sister's betrothed." "She thought I was a man?" Snow blinked. "Or at least she found you attractive," with a sudden smile Charming shrugged, "there are woman adventurers, too." "Never mind," Snow shook her head, "it doesn't matter." Now, as they went up over a hill and saw the first view of her kingdom's castle Snow White felt an odd mix of emotions welling up in her. She was certainly glad to be back home, of that there was no doubt, but she would also miss the adventure. "I'm glad I convinced you to clean up this morning," Charming noted, her cloak and tunic nearly gleaming in the afternoon sun. Snow White adjusted her cloak, the heavy wool scrubbed clean. Her chain mail was rolled up in a saddlebag and she was wearing the same sort of red tunic and black pants as when she left. Even her long black hair was washed, though she had insisted on just tying it back, as usual. "A waste of time," a faintly blushing Snow gently used her heels to start Rosebud off as she said, "let's get going." "Right," Charming gulped once then looked at Snow and tentatively asked, "are you sure your mother won't be angry?" Without answering Snow firmly slapped the rump of Charming's horse, sending him galloping down the hill towards the castle and city as she growled, "Get moving!" Together the riders raced down the hill, slowing as they reached the edge of the bustling city and the paved streets. Familiar faces looked curiously at Charming and nodded recognition to Snow as they went about their business. Shops were open, carts hauled food and people scurried about, all strangely apart from the riders that made their way towards the castle rising above the center of town. "The stables are over to the side," Snow said as the crossed the moat and went through the castle's main gates. "Snow!" Jack called, the blonde haired nobleman racing to her side, stepping warily around Rosebud. He smiled as he saw charming, "I see you found our wayward prince." "Charming, meet Jack," Snow smiled wryly as they climbed down, "he's a bit of a pain in the ass, but a good man." "Hey!" Jack protested. Charming smiled, offering her hand as she said, "I don't think I got to meet you earlier, sir, It's an honor, giant killer." Jack's smile was much more welcoming as he said, "Thank you, your own reputation proceeds you." He looked over at Snow, "You're mother is on the warpath again." Snow sighed softly even as Charming went pale and asked, "Why is she angry now?" Jack lead the two tired travelers inside, "Not your fault, thankfully. There's been a rash of monster sightings out in the countryside, the queen may have to send out troops...." He trailed off when he saw the looks on their faces, "What?" "I think at least some of it's been handled," Charming explained, quietly filling him in on their last few weeks adventures. Jack chuckled softly as he tossed a impish look at Snow, "You know, I bet you'll be riding forth like this again." "Oh?" Snow raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Adventuring gets in your blood," Jack explained to her just a bit regretfully as they reached the throne room. "We'll see," Snow replied shortly as they went inside, pausing only to order the guards not to announce them. Together they moved through the courtiers waiting for audience, conversations stilling as they passed until they reached the front. Rose Red spotted them first, her pale and melancholy face lighting up into a radiant smile. "My love!" she cried, racing to Charming's side and throwing her arms around the other woman, the two holding each other close in a romantic moment. "Well isn't that special," Jack commented dryly. "Hush," Snow hissed. Charming's voice was quiet but Snow could still hear as she murmured to Rose, "I will never leave you again, I swear it." The Wicked Queen smiled wryly, sitting comfortably on her throne as she watched the joyful reunion thoughtfully. Her gaze moved over to Snow as she approached the throne and she said warmly, "Well done, daughter." "Thank you," Snow smiled as they watched the happy couple murmur loving endearments to each other. "We have some things to talk about," she added, Snow wondering how her mother was going to take knowing Charming was a woman. The black haired beauty on the throne smiled slightly, eyes twinkling. "Oh, I know Charming is a woman," the Wicked Queen replied, "you didn't notice at first?" Snow rolled her eyes, "No." Some weeks later, shortly after the joyous wedding of the princesses Charming and Rose Red a low fog lay over the kingdom. From a side gate of the castle a figure rode forth, cloak flowing over her shoulders. A fine suit of chain mail armor glowed, a sword strapped to the one arm and a bastard sword swung over the back. The great stallion whinnied softly, a soft objection from the back of his throat as they went over the cobblestones towards the hills and what lay beyond. "Don't whine, Rosebud," Snow White said to him impishly, "if we didn't leave early there'd be all sorts of discussions." Rosebud snorted, clearly indicating his feelings about early rising. They moved quietly through town, nodding greetings to the few merchants that were just opening up. Out past the town the road turned to rough dirt and with some eagerness they hurried up the hill, only slowing to take in the view. Snow looked off in the distance, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she softly murmured to herself, "Guess Jack was right." Gently she put her heels to the stallion's sides as she murmured with a smile, "Let's go see what trouble we can get into." The End Notes: The opening lines for this story popped in my head and I just HAD to write it. The leads are derived from various fairy tales, inspired by various novels and stories I've read that have updated them in various ways. A big influence was Bill Willingham's Fables, a modern comic featuring the semi-immortal fables living in modern New York. As far as continuation requests go I'm not promising anything, but I am considering expanding on this in some way....
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