Kanashimi

a Original Fiction fanfiction by Kaiser

"Dark clouds may withhold the blue skies from our eyes, but the heavens 
will shine down on those brave enough to pierce those clouds..."

-Gentatsu Takatsuki 

------------

Here I stand. 
A woman in the hall of shadows.
There you stand. 
A goddess in the hall of light.
The light that blinds me is glow of your soul. 
A section of your purity to which no other can claim. 
And here I stand in the hall of shadows.
Constantly chasing your light. 

------------

Rapid keystrokes followed speedy hand movements. It was a brilliant 
trade-off from hours of isolation. With a sullen tear rolling along the 
smoothness of her cheek, Makoto Tome put the finishing touches to her 
latest poem. Though it had taken her little time to write, it was only 
one of many. This was a single offering to dozens of other workings that
Makoto had authored in her time. As much as it depressed her to write 
these things, it was what she felt. It was either put thoughts and 
emotions to the written word, or have these feelings bottled up inside 
her. And as anyone should know, confining sadness to the heart was not a
sensible option. 

Makoto felt a slight twinge in her stomach. She had been up all night 
working on her poems. The young girl ran a shaking hand through her 
short black hair, gently rubbing the tears away from her sparkling 
chestnut brown eyes with the other hand. With the writing of her poems, 
came the sadness behind them... and the visions of the wondrous girl 
that was the root of her sadness.  

Chisato Unazuki. 

Redundant as it was, Makoto's heartbeat sped up with that heavenly 
vision of beauty beaming in her mind. That was followed by a dull 
throbbing ache between her legs. Makoto just couldn't control her 
emotions while thinking of her. Chisato wasn't like other girls... her 
splendour was just unnatural. Suddenly the 17-year old girl was 
reviewing the angelic Chisato's form within her psyche. Her graceful 
body was curvy but athletic. You could tell that all of Chisato's 
assets were god-given. Her smooth thighs, long legs, healthy chest, her 
long locks of night-black hair spilling over her petite shoulders and 
onto her back. These attributes formed a vision of perfection that 
Makoto just could not ignore. But that wasn't what captivated the young
girl the most. 

It was Chisato's eyes. 

Those blistering twin crystals of hot blue light. The two keys to 
Chisato's beautiful soul. They were the final seal to Makoto's heart. If
there was any doubt about her feelings for Chisato, all the girl had to 
do would be to look into those eyes... then there would be no doubt at 
all. Makoto knew that she would belong to Chisato forever. But it wasn't
Chisato's loveliness that made Makoto love her so much. Behind all of 
the older girl's beauty was a courageous heart of fire and 
determination. Chisato wasn't the type of person to be afraid to try and
get what she wanted. That all contributed to the perfect woman that was 
Chisato. Despite the joyful image of the Unazuki girl that Makoto 
possessed, it didn't distract her from the overwhelming heartbreak that 
came with it. 

Fresh tears rolled down the shorthaired girl's eyes as the cold numbing 
pain made its return. Chisato was not hers. The beautiful deity of 
light... the extraordinary Chisato... didn't love her back.  That hurt 
more than anything. To know that her love for the older girl was 
unreturned. It hurt so much. And that pain just would not go away. When
she was younger, Makoto could recall seeing certain romance films. Your 
token romance film, guy meets girl, girl falls for guy, guy gets his act
together, and guy falls for girl. It was a predictable system, that was 
for sure, but what stood out in Makoto's mind was the heartbreak that 
the girl suffered. She never believed that having an unreciprocated love
would cause so much suffering for one person. It was easy not to believe
this when you've never experienced it. 

Until now. 

Now Makoto understood just what the word 'heartbreak' meant. She was no 
longer ignorant of it, because personal experience brings that teeny bit
of understanding. Maybe that was why she was so attracted to angsty 
stories. Makoto had tried everything to get rid of these feelings. 
Anything you could imagine, but none of it offered relief. The only 
thing that gave a chance to think of something else was the stories she 
came across on the net. Makoto's 'Fiction' folder was fully of saved 
versions of these stories, ones that she would read constantly. Maybe to
put focus on someone else's story, or maybe to see the situation from 
the eyes of someone else for comfort, who knew? But lately... even those
stories couldn't ease her. Her feelings for Chisato had been much harder
to control. Simply thinking about her put Makoto in a tizzy. Actually 
*seeing* her was a completely new world. It took all of Makoto's 
willpower and strength to keep herself from breaking down. One of these 
days the young girl really believed that she might do something drastic.

Instead of worrying about the future, Makoto quickly saved her newly 
formed poem entitled 'Trance Dance' and preceded to shut down her 
computer. Though she had been up all night, that didn't change the fact 
that she had school in a few hours. The black-haired girl slowly walked 
over to the window, pulling aside the curtains to peer outside. Snow. 

Gentle snowflakes drizzled down lightly on a think overnight build-up of
snow. Snow wasn't exactly a new thing to Hokkaido, in the same way that
earthquakes were not new to Tokyo, but it still irritated Makoto. It 
would make getting around that much more difficult. But before she could
even begin to think around a way of getting through that thick sheet of 
snow later, Makoto's mother, Konatsu Tome, called out to her from 
downstairs. 

"Makoto!" She bellowed. "Are you awake yet?"

The young girl sighed, wiping a few tears away from her eyes. "Y-Yes, 
ma'am. I'm awake."

But it was obvious that Konatsu could not hear Makoto's timid voice, 
already weakened from the stress of her sobs. "Makoto! Can you hear me?"

"Yes...!" Makoto tried harder to speak up, though it caused strain to 
her throat. "...I-I'm awake!"

That (just barely) Konatsu managed to hear. "Good. Then get yourself 
ready for school and come down for some breakfast. Make sure you are 
quick, Makoto."

Well, this wasn't the best time for any arguments with her mother, so 
she just let those orders go. To be honest, Makoto did like taking 
baths; they soothed her and just let her tense body relax a bit. Makoto 
walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out her standard school uniform, 
already hung up on two hangers from yesterday. She held it in one hand, 
and then grabbed a special shampoo bottle from on top of her chest of 
drawers. A generic brand, one that lacked the harmful chemicals of its 
counterparts. It should be noted that Makoto was a peaceful soul, one 
that didn't like the things chemicals were used for these days. Like 
testing things on animals. Most people laughed at Makoto for caring 
about things that insignificant but to her it was a serious situation. 

The timid young girl strolled out of her bedroom and crossed over the 
upper hall of her substantially large house to the bathroom. Locking 
the door behind her, she hung up her uniform on a hook behind the door 
and set the shampoo down on the edge of the bathtub. Makoto briefly took
a look at herself in the mirror. To be brutally honest, she looked and 
felt like crap. She hadn't been sleeping much, or rather she couldn't
sleep that much (her dreams tended to be invaded by a certain angel 
named Chisato) and she had not been eating very much either. It was 
taking its toll on her body; you could see it quite clearly. But nobody 
seemed to pick up on it. Nobody, not even Chisato, could see how unhappy
Makoto was. It was like a whole world was revolving around her but 
absolutely nobody could see her. Before she depressed herself anymore, 
she shook her head fiercely and started running the bath. Makoto opened
the cabinet hanging over the sink, and took out some bubble bath. She 
poured a small sample of it into the rising pool of water in the 
bathtub; just enough to cover the water with a clear coat of bubbles. 
While the bath was being run, Makoto began to undress out of the 
nightgown worn during the night. As the nightie fell loosely to a puddle
around her ankles, Makoto observed herself in the mirror. Though she was
not aware of it, there was a dark blush on her pale cheeks. She was 
never completely comfortable with her own nakedness. Though she had 
imagined Chisato like this many times over, she herself was slightly 
insecure about her own body. In all areas concerned, she was smaller 
than most girls her age, but she never really thought about it much. 
Still, she did come to wonder now and then, when would her figure fill 
out.   

Makoto's crystal brown eyes rolled away from her own image in a suddenly
steamy mirror, and then turned to the bath. It was about ready. The girl
shut off the tap, and then dipped a toe into the water to check the 
heat. Just about right. Makoto then stepped cautiously into the bathtub 
and eased down into the warm, soothing water, already working its magic
on her tired muscles. As she sat quietly in the bath, her eyes shut; 
Makoto couldn't help but wonder what Chisato was doing at that moment. 
Chisato was 18, she would turn 19 in three months time, and she would be
leaving school this year. That means that she would be at college next 
year. Since Chisato had lost her parents, there was no one to pay for 
tuition, she had to it all herself. As a result, Chisato had to work 
hard in part time jobs. Simple stuff, nothing difficult. Of course, she 
had to keep this a secret from her school, it was forbidden for a 
student to practice an active job, regardless of the need for it. 
Despite all that, Chisato had managed to keep all of it in line. It was 
part of the reason why Makoto was so drawn to Chisato's determination. 
And easy as that, Makoto released a blissful; deep sigh from thinking of
her angel again. It hurt to think about Chisato... but at the same time,
it sort of made her happy. That beatific child of the stars was so 
magnetic; it was hard not to be captivated by her. Chisato was like 
divine torture from Kami-sama. To be so close to perfection but to be 
unable to hold it was an idyllic torment.     

To say that Makoto was confused would be an understatement. Though a 
new set of tears were running down her cheeks and dripping into the 
water, there was a shy, tiny smile strewn out by her lips. She felt... 
heartache, almost like a permanent part of her... but she also felt joy.
The young girl eased back into the safe warmth of her bubbly bath, and 
let her body undo its knots and joints, dreaming sweet dreams of her 
Chisato, her warm tears leaving tracks along her reddening cheeks. 

Around half an hour later, Makoto had to exit her calming bath (mostly 
because of the incessant yelling of Konatsu) and get ready. The Tome 
girl wrapped her damp body in a thin white towel, and her moist, matted 
hair in a smaller one. After removing the plug from the bath she walked 
out the bathroom and back to her room, removing a pair or panties and a 
bra. Makoto returned to the bathroom, proceeding to dry her body with a
series of soft caresses with her towel. After a short time, she was dry,
so after applying some body lotion to her skin, she ensued to get 
dressed in her school uniform. When she re-emerged from the bathroom, 
Makoto Tome was dressed and ready for another day at school. It was a 
Monday, but she had some outstanding projects to take care of for the 
final grade of the year. Makoto jogged back into her room to collect a 
few things. The only thing she really needed was her book bag, but she 
also took also her personal cassette player. One that contained a re-
wound tape of her favourite band, the Gentatsu Boys. With the book bag 
in her hand and the cassette player in her pocket, the girl ambled into
the hall and down the stairs. Before she even got near the kitchen she 
smelt that horrible stench of meat. 

Makoto was a vegetarian, she had been for the past four years, and she 
didn't like the idea of creatures that can feel being fed to people. 
Obviously she didn't like meat, but she didn't expect people to fall 
over themselves to keep it out of her way either. As Makoto stepped 
past the kitchen, she saw her mother standing over the oven, preparing 
a large western-style breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast. The kind of things 
you see westerners eating on TV. Makoto wasn't xenophobic in any way, 
but she couldn't stand these greasy western breakfasts. 

The young Makoto took a seat next to the table in the dining room, 
placing her book bag at her leg, waiting for her mother to come inside.
In five minutes she did so, with plates full of steaming, piled food. 
After setting all the plates down, Konatsu sat down on the other side 
of the table. 

"Morning, mother." Makoto said quietly. 

Konatsu just nodded, motioning to the food at the centre of the table. 
"Yes. Good morning. Are you going to eat anything today, or shall all 
this be going to waste?"

Makoto did not like to speak against her mother but... "I don't really 
think so. Y-You know I am a vegetarian, mother. Besides, father will 
gladly eat this when he wakes up, won't he?"

The matriarch of the Tome family just raised her eyebrows, cracking 
open this morning's paper in one motion. "So you still persist with 
that silly little idea of vegetarianism? We have been feeding you with 
meat since your early youth, Makoto."

"Yes, but-"

Makoto's shy retaliation was cut off. "But... you've been following 
this through since you were 13 so why should I expect you to suddenly 
change your ways this morning, hm?"

Makoto lowered her bright brown eyes. It was obvious to anyone that she
did not get on well with her mother. People often say that mothers and 
daughters clash, well this theory was not lost on the Tome family. 
Although she never really knew why, Makoto was fairly sure that her 
mother, Konatsu despised the way she lived. Where Makoto was open to 
new ideas and believed in free speech, Konatsu was bitter, discontented
and a hard believer in traditionalism. In fact, the only reason she 
embraced western culture (i.e. their breakfast) was because of the 
wishes of her husband, Kensuke.  

Makoto's thoughts were suddenly broken by a hoarse snort from her 
mother, her shrill nose buried in her newspaper. Some article gave her 
a little amusement it seemed. 

"Hmph!" Konatsu took a sip of her coffee. "The debauchery of Tokyo 
never ceases to astonish me. My mother would be turning in her grave if
she saw the state that city is in."

Random as it was, Makoto decided to speak out against one of Konatsu's 
many gripes. "Actually... Tokyo does have some beautiful sights, mother.
I wouldn't mind going there one-day. Maybe to study at college or 
something."

Konatsu rolled her eyes. "You'll be going nowhere. You were raised 
around Hidaka-sanmyaku; here is where you shall attend college. You 
forget that I myself went to college in this area."  

"But I-"

Again, Makoto was cut off. "The subject is closed."

The shorthaired girl took that directly. Her mother was never the type 
of person who allowed conversation when she had made her mind up about 
the outcome. Makoto then looked across to the food on the table. She 
didn't feel like any of it, but the coffee looked good. 

"May I have some coffee?" She asked timidly. 

Konatsu gave a short reply; her focus (as always) was on her newspaper, 
not her daughter. "As you like."     

With a hurt sigh, Makoto leaned across the table and reached out for 
the 'flagon' of coffee, then poured herself some, into a small cup 
beside her empty plate. Somehow, Konatsu's keen eyes for the unusual 
saw something in Makoto's pocket. 

"What is that in your pocket, Makoto?" She asked inquisitively. 

Makoto had already sipped some of her coffee before being asked that 
question. "You mean this?" She pointed to her cassette player. "It's a-"

"I know what it is." Konatsu jabbed. "What music do you intend to 
listen to on that thing? Is it the music we talked about before?"

Makoto sighed again. This had happened before. One day, when she thought
nobody was home, Makoto had played a Gentatsu Boys CD quite loudly. 
Unfortunately, Konatsu came home from work earlier than expected, and 
caught a taste of the tunes that her daughter adored so much. Quite 
frankly the song (and its questionable lyrics she defined as 'crude' 
and 'insanely vulgar') appalled her. If the truth were told, Makoto did 
agree, some of the songs written by the Gentatsu Boys were rather 
provocative, but unlike most songs written today, they carried a 
message. That message allowed her to relate to the music, it was like a 
sympathetic ear to her problems. Too bad her mother didn't see it like
that. Konatsu never had much of a liking towards Japanese Rock music 
anyways.

"Yes..." Makoto agreed. "It's a tape of a few Gentatsu Boys songs I 
recorded from their latest CD."

Konatsu's eyes narrowed. "You know how much loathe that detestable 
music. It is disrespectful and unsophisticated."

That was it. Makoto didn't have to sit here and deal with her mother's 
ignorance like this. The young girl stood up sharply and grasped her 
book bag. "Excuse me. I think I'll go to school now, mother."

Konatsu only watched Makoto as she left the dining room and headed 
towards the door. She quickly clasped her winter coat from the coat 
hook and reached for the lock on the door. Just as she left, her father,
Kensuke, came down the stairs, surprised to see an irritated look on
his daughter's face. 

"Makoto?" He said questioningly. "What's wrong with-?"

Too late. The door clicked shut as she left.

*********

"Arrh! Man, I'm gonna be so late!"

With an agitated cry, the beautiful Chisato Unazuki scrambled to dress 
herself as the clock on her bedside went tick, tick, and tick. She had
gotten up a full hour later than she usually did, all thanks to her 
night job at the supermarket. After dealing with unruly customers, and 
loudmouth managers, Chisato was looking forward to a relaxing sleep. 
Apparently, she had been sleeping a little *too* well. 

While Chisato struggled to force on her socks for her uniform, her eyes
scanned bedroom. It was pretty trashed, all around. Yesterday morning, 
her friends Koharu, Murakami and Setsuki just turned up out of the blue 
to hang out. The only one who wasn't there was Makoto, who had been 
strangely distant these last few months. It had been quite a hectic 
ride for Chisato to deal her three other friends in her tiny little 
apartment, but she did have some fun. That was palpable from the state 
of her room. It looked like a thriving eco-system. 

Instead of thinking about the hellish nightmare it would be to clean 
this all up when she got back from school, Chisato finished putting on 
her uniform, then grabbed a brush from beneath a pile of clothes on her 
bed. She instantly began pulling it through her long, luscious locks of 
raven black hair. Chisato wasn't a prissy kinda girl but she didn't 
like going outside without looking her best. Maybe it was for the 
satisfaction of others. Chisato always loved making Makoto and Koharu 
go red with envy as Murakami and Setsuki devoured her with their lusty 
male eyes. Or maybe it was for...

{Huh?} Chisato's eyebrow rose when she heard her phone ring. Who would 
be calling her at 8.25 in the morning? Rather than think about that she 
picked up the phone and decided to see for herself. "Hello?"

"Yo! Sexy! Long time no see..."

Chisato didn't know whether to smile or frown. Of all people today, it 
had to be Subaru. Her sweet-talking, roaming eye boyfriend.

"You can't see me now, you moron." Chisato giggled deviously when she 
heard Subaru's stupor-like groan. "Oh, and making whining noises like 
that won't get you off the hook for last week."

"Oh..." Subaru replied. "You remember that, huh?"

Chisato twirled her finger around the cord of the phone as she continued
to play head games with Subaru. She had actually forgiven Subaru for 
that, but it would be better to make him sweat for a while, it kept him 
in line.

"Of course I remember it." Chisato said. "I maybe busy these days but 
I'm not quite as absent-minded as you are. So what are you gonna do to
 make it up to me, eh?"

"Wrap you with my strong commanding embrace as I nibble on your cute 
little ear?" He asked. 

Chisato continued to bait him. "My enjoyment, not yours."

"...Hmm... How about I make up for what I missed. Flowers, a dinner at 
some costly-ass restaurant uptown and anything you want afterwards. 
Bear in mind that I'm winking over here."

Chisato smiled, forgetting that she didn't really have the time for 
this. "Hmmm... that sounds great, Subaru. Just remember to show up on 
time, okay? I don't wanna have to chew you out in front of a crowd 
again."

Subaru could not forget that. "Oh yeah, I gotcha. I'll pick you up at 
your place around 8.00, alright? Be sure to wear something tight..."

"You pervert!" She laughed. "I'll see you later, sweetie."

"Laters."

As Chisato placed the phone receiver back down, she thought to herself 
about Subaru. Subaru was a 20-year-old college student from Osaka. He 
came to Hidaka-sanmyaku about a year ago, to work alongside his brother 
in their family business after he graduated. Chisato had met Subaru at 
a friend's party about 6 months back and they had been a couple ever 
since. He was quite a handsome guy, but that really wasn't why she liked
him. For his age, he seemed so youthful and full of life. Bordering on 
immaturity in some cases, but youthful all the same. It was hard to 
meet guys who were as spontaneous as he was, so you could understand 
why Chisato had been so smitten with him. Although, his impulsiveness 
made Subaru a bit unreliable. But his personality made him easy to like 
by most people. Egotistical though he was, he had charisma. Most of 
Chisato's friends liked him too, especially Murakami and Koharu. For 
some reason though, Makoto never liked Subaru. Chisato had no idea why,
 but one day in future she'd ask and find out. 

Chisato took a look at the clock. She and Makoto always used to walk to 
school together, but recently, Makoto had been leaving home earlier and 
earlier. It would be too late to try and catch up with her now anyway. 
After stuffing her book bag with whatever books she could find under 
the mess of her room, Chisato quickly grabbed her coat hanging above 
her door. She quickly walked out into the hallway and opened the door 
to the outside, revealing the chilling winds of a full-forced Hokkaido 
winter. 

"Damn..." She thought, locking the door behind her. "It just had to be 
cold, didn't it...? Dammit..."

**********

Groups of contrasted students (some eager, some indifferent, mostly 
indifferent) poured into the chilled school of Kyougi High. The snow of 
last night was expected by most people at some point, but not as early 
as this. Even so, people just seemed to attach to it, there were already
snowball fights taking place outside and inside the walls of the school.
Wrapping herself in a grasp, Makoto rubbed her hands up and down her 
arms in a vain attempt to keep warm. She didn't think she'd ever get 
used to these Hokkaido winters. Whether she lived here her whole life 
or not, Makoto would have loved to live somewhere in the south. Okinawa
sounded like paradise right now. 

The cold girl walked through the large gates to Kyougi High, looking 
over to the bench at the far side of the main courtyard. That was the 
usual hang out for her friends, just before they went into classes in 
the mornings. That bench was also where they ate lunch during a 
particularly clear day. It was safe to assume that would not be 
happening today. The bench was expectedly vacant, but maybe that was 
for the best. Makoto had been avoiding her friends a lot lately, 
especially Chisato. This was for many reasons, but mostly because she 
needed some space to herself to think things through. The last thing 
she wanted to do was to lose them, but if they knew the reason Makoto 
had been so distant, they might not want to have anything to do with 
her anyway. 

"Ho, ho. Look who it is."

Then from behind the Tome-girl, appeared her friend Koharu, with a very 
blunt expression on her face. It was the kind that more or less said 
'where the hell have you been?'. Makoto turned around to face Koharu 
with sullen eyes, though she did her best to keep her sadness under 
wraps. 

"H-Hello..." She began weakly. "Hello... Koharu..."

Koharu wriggled her nose. "So you remember my name, huh? So just where 
the hell have you been, Makoto? We all were worried about you. 
Especially Chisato and me."

"I'm sorry." Makoto started, feeling the wetness welling up in her eyes 
already. Chisato had been worrying about her. Why did she even bother? 
"I-I... just... I-I..."

Koharu sighed and grabbed Makoto by the arm, literally dragging her 
over to the main building of Kyougi High. "Save those apologies for 
later. Right now we've got to get inside. It's freezing out here."

Makoto breathed a sigh of relief from that. At least Koharu wouldn't 
bother her about the distance recently. Though she had to dread the 
reaction that her beloved Chisato would have to seeing her. Chisato was 
the type of person that didn't stop until she got what she wanted. And 
what Makoto feared Chisato would want would be the truth. Koharu (with 
Makoto in tow) passed through the large doors of the foremost entrance 
into the main building, walking around the halls until she found her 
way into one of the three common rooms of the school. It was a typical 
indoor hangout. Vending machines, pool tables, chairs and a table with 
mountains of magazines. Over in the corner of the room, around one of 
the pool tables, where Koharu and Makoto's other friends (minus Chisato)
Oburo Murakami and Setsuki Yoshizuki. The two boys, both 18 years of 
age, were hard at work trying to outdo the other at a game of pool 
(Duh!) but they were surprised enough to stop playing when they saw an 
embarrassed Makoto behind Koharu's back.  

Murakami was the first the address Makoto's presence. "Makoto? Long 
time no see... I would have thought you'd have moved or some-"

"I've been there already, Murakami." Koharu chipped in. "No need to re-
step it, yeah?"

Murakami just shrugged and returned to his game. "Yeah, whatever. Why 
don't you try telling that to Chisato?"

Makoto picked up on the tension between Koharu and Murakami. There had 
always been a love/hate thing going on there. But ever since Murakami 
starting dating with a girl from a neighbouring school, their 
relationship had been set around a little more of the hate. While 
Koharu stared daggers at a relaxed Murakami, Setsuki turned his 
attention to Makoto to avoid getting in between those two. 

"Eh... so, Makoto..." Setsuki edged his eyes to the younger girl. "Have 
you, eh... seen Megumi Murasaki's newest film?"

Makoto got the feeling that Setsuki was trying to change the 
conversation, so played along for his benefit and her own. "Yes. It was 
very good. Megumi Murasaki is brilliant actress."

Koharu cared enough about the current topic to turn her attention away
from Murakami. "You mean her new film, Kage no Aijou? I hear it's a 
psychological thriller or something, right?"

"You betcha." Setsuki then proceeded to swoon. "But sweet mother of 
Izanagi, she's pretty fit, isn't she?" 

"What are you talking about?" Koharu asked, curiously. 

Before taking another shot on the pool table with his cue, Setsuki 
responded. "Megumi Murasaki is a total hottie! You betcha bottom yen 
that if she and I met it'd be love at first sight..."

Koharu grinned at her friend. "Oh yeah right. That's about as likely as 
a demon singing wedding songs out its ass."

"Wha-!" That comment made Setsuki screw up his shot, scraping the 
snooker cue against the green fabric of the pool table. The blonde 
haired boy looked back with an irritated smile. "Thanks a lot, Koharu. 
I swear to Kami-sama, you're no good luck charm."  

As Koharu and Setsuki broke into laughter, Makoto felt some of her 
tension fall. She was an insecure person but unity with her friends 
gave her a stronger sense of security. But just as easily as joy can be
brought, it can be taken away. 

Murakami just had to interject as he took his shot on the pool table. 
"Well, I don't think you'll have any chance with Megumi Murasaki 
anyways, Setsuki."

"What makes you say that?" The other man asked. 

Murakami took his shot. Two balls in a corner pocket. "I hear that 
Megumi Murasaki is a lesbian." 

While Koharu and Setsuki just looked on at Murakami, Makoto felt herself
tighten up. She was doing her best not to seem anxious as Koharu piped 
up.

"What are you on about, Murakami?" She darted. 

Murakami leaned up from his shooting position and looked back over at 
Koharu. "You heard me. She's a rug-muncher. At least that's what I hear,
anyways. And you know how reliable my sources are."

Koharu narrowed her eyes. "Your sources? You mean your tenth-hand 
rumours. You shouldn't believe stories like that unless Megumi actually 
says she is."

Murakami ignored Koharu. "I guess this takes you outta the running, eh, 
Setsuki?"

Setsuki held a hand to his chin. "I dunno. The thought of two women 
together is pretty cool. I mean the only thing better than one woman is 
two, right?"

A grunt escaped Murakami's throat as Setsuki took his shot. "I suppose. 
If you like tongue-happy freaks, that is."

Koharu was just about to viciously scold Murakami for that, but she was 
more distracted by the quick rush of Makoto out of the room. The moment 
she left the room, Koharu looked back at an indifferent Murakami with a 
scornful look on her face. 

"You probably freaked her out with all that talk, Murakami." Koharu 
barked. "Go apologize to her."

Murakami just shrugged his shoulders. "For what? It isn't my fault she's
so sensitive. If you're so worried about her then go get her yourself."

**********

Chisato smiled, drawing in breath. She ran her ass off and tripped up 
over ice nearly eight times but she got to school on time. Classes would
start in about five minutes, which probably gave her enough time to 
catch up with Koharu, Murakami and Setsuki and maybe Makoto, wherever 
the heck she had gotten to lately. The longhaired girl walked through 
the gates to Kyougi High and trudged along the snowy path, looking over
at the bench that the rest of the crew usually hung around. They weren't
there, obviously. 

{I wonder where they are.} Thought Chisato, still drawing in breath. 

Chisato looked around for a second. Aside from the few stragglers still 
playing out their snowball fights, there was nobody else here. Chisato 
finally caught her breath and walked forward, towards the main building.
Then she saw something at the corner of her beautiful sky blue eyes. It
was Makoto, leaning up against the far wall of the school, her arms 
wrapped around her body and tears pouring down her cheeks, her gentle 
voice breaking as she choked out wracking sobs. Chisato was distraught. 
What happened to her? Did someone try and hurt Makoto?  

The thought of it drove Chisato insane. Makoto and Chisato had been 
friends longer than anyone in their group, and as a result, Chisato 
felt very protective of the younger girl. Before she even knew what she 
was doing, Chisato ran over to Makoto to see what was wrong. 

Makoto stood quietly, unaware that Chisato was running towards her. She 
couldn't believe the things that Murakami said. She always knew that he 
was grumpy person by nature, but she never classified him as homophobic.
Would Murakami hate her if he found out that she was...? Makoto broke 
into more sobs, her eyes clamped shut. Which made her so much more 
surprised when she heard the voice of her angel...

"Mako-honey?" She said in that caring, melodic voice. "What happened to 
you? Are you alright?"

The reflexive speed-up of her heart pretty much gave away who it was. 
Makoto looked up at her vision of purity, her red, puffy eyes mirroring 
that fear, confusion and love that she had been feeling for so long. 
Fortunately, Chisato was too concerned to notice it. Not that Makoto 
would have really cared right now, anyway.

Makoto's lower lip quivered as she spoke the name of her beautiful, 
flawless true love. "C-Chisato..."

The younger girl gasped a little as Chisato cradled her face with the 
soft flesh of her hand. Makoto lost herself and revelled in the feel of 
Chisato's hand against her constantly reddening cheek, until she managed
to regain control of herself. She jerked back, almost too harshly, 
startling the older girl. 

"N-No..." Makoto fumbled, trying to move away, even though she was 
backed up against a wall. "Y-You shouldn't..."

Though she tried her hardest to get away, Chisato held Makoto's arms 
firm, stopping her from going anywhere. When she felt that, Makoto 
looked back up into Chisato's striking eyes of crystal blue light. 
Chisato wasn't going to stop digging until she found out the problem. 
But if Makoto said something...

"Please... don't... Chisato..." She managed, just barely. "I-I...I can't
... It's... not...I am..."

Now Chisato was really beginning to worry. Makoto broke into new sets 
of tears as the idea of Chisato's hatred started to take shape. The 
older girl could not understand what was going on, but Makoto needed 
her. That was all she needed to know. "Hey, hey... look... you don't 
have to tell me anything..."

Chisato pulled Makoto against her, hugging the younger woman in a tight 
embrace. To assure her that there would be no problem here. Makoto was 
just so tired of feeling this way. So tired of worrying about people's 
reaction her sexuality. Right now... she just needed someone. Even if 
that someone was the 'cause' of her sadness. Makoto clung to Chisato, 
not caring who might see this. She just needed to touch Chisato, to be 
near her... god, she needed it so much...

Chisato ran a hand through Makoto's short hair as she continued to sob 
openly on her breast, snowflakes falling slowly upon the two of them 
from the heavens. Anyone who just happened to have come across that and
painted a picture of the two of them like that would have captured a 
tiny slice of nirvana. They melded so well together that you would have 
had a hard time separating them mentally. 

Chisato continued to play with Makoto's short black tresses, which had 
a strangely soothing effect on the Tome girl. "If someone's been 
hassling you... you know I'll break them apart, right?"

Makoto just nodded. Chisato saw the look in her eye. Someone was on 
Makoto's mind, but it might not be someone who is hassling her. Then 
Chisato assumed it had to be a guy. But that didn't quite add up either.
Makoto never really took an interest in boys. Everyone just thought that
she was a late bloomer. So then what was it...?

Makoto held the taller girl a little tighter. "T-Thank you... for being 
there..."

Chisato beamed a proud smile. "No problem, Mako-honey. Hey, I tell you 
what. After school, why don't we just ditch Koharu and the others for a 
while and we can go get some ice cream together, huh? Just me and you?"

A frigid smile appeared on the younger girl's lips. She really didn't 
trust her body around Chisato but Makoto truly needed to be around her 
right now. It would just get harder and harder along the way unless she 
did. With that petite half-smile, Makoto nodded in acceptance of that, 
much to Chisato's pleasure. The older girl had been missing Makoto like 
crazy for the past few weeks. This would give them a chance to catch up 
on things. And more importantly, she might be able to find out who or 
what was troubling Makoto. 

**********

Around four hours later, Chisato, Koharu, Setsuki and Murakami were 
hanging out. The four students were in the common room, chatting things 
over and raising new issues about whatnot. Even though it was only 
lunchtime, school ended at this time on Mondays at Kyougi High. Makoto 
would have been there as well but her last class of the day was around 
half an hour longer than others. The price you paid for entering an 
advanced class. 

As usual, Murakami and Setsuki were at the pool table trying to beat the
other into oblivion in a 'Game of Wits' while Chisato and Koharu sat on 
the cushioned chairs beside the pool table. 

Chisato was leaning forward, her back bent slightly and her chin resting
on her soft palms, while Koharu leaned back in her chair, watching 
Murakami put up his usual feigning-of-apathy front. 

"Koharu..." Chisato began suddenly. "Do you know what's up with 
Makoto...? Has someone been bothering her?"

Koharu took her eyes off Murakami for a few seconds. "Are you concerned
about her? Is that why you look so worried?"

"Yeah."

"Well... she was acting a bit weird this morning. She ran off without 
saying anything too. But nothing out of the ordinary was happening. 
Setsuki had his head in the clouds, Murakami was the bastard he's 
always been and you were late. All perfectly normal for us." 

Chisato's eyes narrowed as she continued to think. "I get the idea that 
maybe Makoto is feeling sad about something... and I think that it's 
the reason she's been avoiding me."

"Hey, she's been avoiding all of us." Koharu assured. "But she's tougher
than she looks, you shouldn't worry so much about her."

Chisato rolled her eyes. "I wish I could stop worrying about her... but 
she has such a fragile heart, Koharu. You don't know her the way I do. 
I have to know what's bothering her."

Then Koharu thought of something. "Hey... you don't think it's a guy, 
do you? I mean Makoto's never been as boy-crazy as me but she is still 
a woman. Everyone needs someone else to snuggle up to. And you know how 
shy Makoto is, too. She could be feeling lousy because she's hot for 
some guy that doesn't like her back."

Chisato had thought of that. But she dismissed it all the same, because 
it sounded so unlikely in her head. But coming from Koharu's mouth, it 
did make sense. Makoto had never had a boyfriend before, so she might 
not know how to handle that situation. Or what if she had been avoiding 
them because she was seeing some guy, and now he had dumped her or 
something? Again, Chisato felt a sizeable anger well up inside her from 
that idea. The notion of someone bring harm to her Mako-honey was 
intolerable. 

"I bet..." Chisato spat. "Some guy is causing her problems. Some punk 
probably did something to hurt Mako-honey... I'll kill the fool."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Koharu said nervously. "Cool your jets, Chisato. 
You don't know anything like that is happening here. Why don't ya just 
try and see if you can talk to Makoto before you come to conclusions 
like that, eh?"

"Yeah... yeah, you're right." Then, Chisato looked at her watch. It was
almost time to meet up with Makoto. "She and I are going out right now 
anyways. Hopefully I can get Mako-honey to talk to me about it... 
whatever it is."

**********

Makoto had managed to pull herself together a little bit. Chisato had 
really helped to calm her down. But then again, Makoto didn't think 
she'd ever feel uncomfortable in Chisato's arms. Now they were going 
out together. Alone. Makoto couldn't bring herself to be anymore 
excited or nervous about it. So loved Chisato so much, it really 
escaped her. Though it hurt immensely to know that Chisato did not feel 
the same way... being around her was enough for now. Makoto had arranged
to meet with Chisato at the front gates of the school, which is where 
she was now, other eager students passing by her as she waited silently 
with her book bag at her waist. In just a few moments, Chisato would be 
there.  

And true to Makoto's shy, brightened smile, she was. Chisato strode out 
of the main building across the courtyard, and walked up casually to a 
pensive Makoto. 

{What should I say...?} Makoto thought, with Chisato a few metres away. 
(What should I do...? I don't even know how to act around her anymore...
oh, Chisato...} 

The older woman walked up to her friend, ignoring the coldness to focus 
on Makoto herself. "You ready to go, Makoto?"

Makoto nodded, and the two young women left through the gates of Kyougi 
High and went out into the main street. They walked slowly through the 
bustling high streets towards a secluded road just a twenty-minute walk 
away from Kyougi High. Despite the extended walk, they reached their 
destination, Yatsuda Ice Cream Parlour. It was a large building for an 
ice cream place, but it served its purpose better than any other ice 
cream parlour in Hidaka. That was one thing Chisato liked about this 
town. The ice cream was always outstanding. Though it was cold as all 
hell thanks to the snow, Chisato loved her ice cream to death. Chisato
and Makoto ambled into Yatsuda Ice Cream Parlour, which was strangely 
empty for this time of day. 

Makoto was the first to notice it. "This place is... not very crowded...
is it?"

"Huh?" Chisato was too busy eying over the list of today's specials to 
even hear what Makoto was saying. "What was that, Makoto?"

"I said that... this place is not... crowded." 

Chisato's baby blue eyes looked around. Then she realized that aside 
from she and Makoto, only three other customers were there. Well, it 
was snowing, so not many people would go out of their way to eat such 
cold things. Fortunately (or unfortunately as the case may be) Chisato 
was not like most people.

Chisato just waved off Makoto's concerns. "Ah, it's no big deal. 
Besides, I can't stand to be surrounded by big groups of people. Trust
me, it's better this way."

"O-Okay..."

"C'mon, Mako-honey." Chisato said, snatching the brown-eyed girl by the 
wrist. "Let's get that table over there. It's my usual."

Makoto really didn't have much of a choice either way as Chisato pulled 
her towards her favourite table, one on the other side of the room and 
right by the window. In her excitement, Chisato released Makoto and sat 
down on one side of the table, while Makoto sat gently on the other 
side. Soon as Chisato settled in her seat she peered out the window. 
All of the streets had been covered in ice and snow, and new flakes of 
snow fell slowly to the ground. Hidaka looked very different during the 
winter. It always seemed like a boring, sleepy town that really wasn't 
all that noticeable in Japan. But during snowfall, the city seemed so...
romantic. 

Makoto marvelled at that contemplative look on Chisato's face. Those 
sky blue eyes made her look so deep and emotional. Makoto really could 
not believe how gorgeous this woman was. But her thoughts were cut off 
by Chisato's words.

"It's beautiful, isn't..." She cooed. "This town... in snow. I never 
really noticed before."

"Yes..." Makoto's cheek took on a deep shade of red. "It is very 
beautiful..."

Before they could continue, a waitress (around 19 in age, short blonde 
hair, wearing a typical waitress uniform) came up to the two girls, a 
pen behind her ear and a pad in her hand. Soon as Chisato saw the 
waitress, her mind picked out what she was going to have. 

"Can I take your order?" The waitress said dejectedly.

Chisato smiled, ignoring the woman's lack of motivation. "You betcha! 
I'll have my usual, a Rocky Horror Sundae, and what'll you have, 
Makoto?"

The cinnamon-eyed girl looked downwards, beaming another shy smile. "I 
really don't want to be a bother, Chisato..."

"By ordering something?" The waitress said sceptically.

Chisato looked deeply at Makoto. Did this have something to do with her 
problem? Why was she so... distant? Why was she acting like she was 
worth nothing? Chisato placed a soft, caressing touch over Makoto's 
hand, to ease her worries a bit. Makoto reflexively flinched from the 
touch, but Chisato would not let go. When Makoto's eyes looked up at 
Chisato, she saw that pleasant glint in her expression. It was okay. 

"We can always split mine between the two of us." Chisato said caringly.
"How does that sound?"

Makoto was too drawn by Chisato's smile to even speak. So rather than 
think about, she nodded in acceptance. The waitress took the pen from 
behind her ear and jotted down her information, not that there was much 
to remember. "Okay. That's one Rocky Horror, no extra toppings. I'll be
as quick as I can with your order, girls."

Following that, the waitress left, leaving behind a confused Chisato 
and an even more confused Makoto. Chisato continued to stroke Makoto's 
hand while the other girl just started down at it. Her senses melted 
from nothing more than Chisato's touch. 

"Makoto..." The older girl spoke. "You don't have to tell me anything 
and you know that. I didn't bring you here to drill you about your life
but, you were crying this morning."

"..." Makoto looked away, saying nothing.

"...Can you please tell me why you were so sad?" Chisato asked softly. 

Through no mental wish of her own, Makoto pulled her hand free from 
Chisato's grasp, not harshly, but it was worrying all the same. This 
time however, Makoto managed to speak. "Chisato... I wasn't... please 
stop worrying about me..."

"I can't... until you tell me what's wrong with you." Now Chisato's 
voice was beginning to sound more demanding. Not that Makoto expected 
anything else. Chisato always had to get to the bottom of everything. 

Then Makoto went back to saying nothing. "..."

Still, Chisato could not let this rest. "...Are you dating a guy?"  

"Wha-?"

"If he hurt you..." Chisato said darkly. "You know I'll take care of 
him, right? Is this why you were crying? Did a guy upset you-?"

This time it was Chisato who was cut off by Makoto. "N-No... Chisato...
I am not..." She blushed. "Dating any man..."

For some reason, Chisato felt comfortable from hearing that. She didn't 
like the idea of boys hanging around Makoto. She never had, and probably
never will. "I see... so what is it then?"

Why couldn't Chisato stop digging in this area? Didn't she see that 
Makoto wasn't ready to say anything? Makoto tried hard not to leak out 
any tears. She didn't want to keep any secrets from Chisato. None at 
all. But how could she tell Chisato that she was madly in love with her?
The older girl would probably freak out and never speak to her again. 
If Murakami's reaction was worth anything, than that was the most likely
response of all. And the already unstable Makoto didn't think she could 
take that at all. It was one thing not to have Chisato's love, but... to
have to face her hatred was something completely different. Makoto 
couldn't live with herself if Chisato hated her... she couldn't do it. 

"One day..." Makoto began. "One day... I'll try my hardest to tell you 
but I just... can't right now. Can we please leave it at that?"

After a few seconds of reflection, Chisato decided that it might be 
best to do that. She still wanted to know what was up with Makoto, she 
wouldn't be happy about this situation until knew, but she didn't want 
to upset Makoto either, which would probably happen if she continued to 
push for an answer. Sighing reluctantly, Chisato let her shoulders 
slump and rested her chin on her hands, staring at Makoto sheepishly. 

"I'm pushing too hard, aren't I?" She said regretfully. "I guess you 
must think I'm some sort of obsessive right about now, huh?"

"No!" Makoto said sternly. "I... I think you're wonderful... you're 
always so kind to me and I just... I..."

Chisato was startled by that sudden burst of confidence but it at least 
showed that Makoto was getting back to her old self. She was always shy.
But never this reserved, not even about compliments. 

"Thanks for that." Chisato said. "It's nice to know that you think of 
me that way. I think you're pretty wonderful yourself."

Makoto's blush became even worse. "That's not true..."

Though her eye was fixed on the waitress that was bringing along her 
order, the blue-eyed girl responded to that. "Oh yes it is. But ah! 
Heads up!"

Both Chisato and Makoto looked to the right as the previous waitress 
came back up to their table and placed the Rocky Horror ice cream down. 
The Rocky Horror Sundae was more along the lines of a hot chocolate 
fudge cake lathered/surrounded with lemon ice cream, two cone shaped 
wafers, cinnamon sprinkles and a tiny cherry to top it all off. To say 
it was mouth watering was understatement. Chisato eyed it over greedily,
just remembering that she had to split this with Makoto. 

"There's your order, girls." The waitress said. "I'll be back in a few, 
but for now just enjoy yourselves."

Chisato waved the woman off as she picked up her spoon. "Yeah, yeah, 
gotcha..." Soon as the waitress left, Chisato looked at Makoto. "What 
do you think, Mako-honey? It looks absolutely great, doesn't it?"

Makoto sweatdropped. "I... suppose..."

"Well? Give it a try!"

Picking up her spoon, Makoto looked down at the Rocky Horror ice cream. 
Good thing she didn't order one for herself, she would have never been 
able to finish it. The young woman scooped up a portion of it, only 
avoiding the cherry (which she assumed that Chisato wanted) and ate her 
sample. And she had to admit that it was pretty nice. Before she even 
knew it, Chisato was munching down into her half of the large Rocky 
Horror. Soon as Chisato looked up, she saw Makoto, with a silly smile 
on her face, some of the lemon ice cream resting on her cheek.

Chisato giggled out of her age. "Look at you! You look like a little 
kid!"

"I do?" She replied absently. 

"Here, let me get that for you." Chisato took one of the paper towels 
from on the table and efficiently wiped the lemon ice cream from her 
cheek. This time she did not flinch at Chisato's touch; rather, Makoto 
let herself enjoy it. Maybe it was her imagination but Chisato's hand 
just seemed to linger there a little longer than it needed to. 

Chisato smiled. "That's better."

Makoto returned that smile. For the first time in a while, she could 
say that she felt even the tiniest bit happy. Chisato was with her. But 
unfortunately, that loving cheer was abruptly cut short. 

"So you broke up early today, eh?"

Chisato and Makoto both looked back, but Chisato was the only one who 
spoke. "Subaru!"

As Subaru grinned at his girlfriend from behind, Chisato's smile 
jumpstarted while Makoto's took a dive toward the negative. It was 
Chisato's boyfriend, Subaru. At first glance he appeared to be nothing 
more than a well-stocked jock, muscled and blonde, but he was unusually 
appealing to most people. Especially Chisato. It was his laidback 
charisma that had taken her by storm and all others around him too. All 
aside from Makoto, that is. Though her politely silent disposition would
indicate otherwise, she hated Subaru with a passion. It was his attitude
and cocky nature that rubbed Makoto the wrong way, but what really made 
her hate him was the fact that he was stealing Chisato away from her. 
Not only that, but Subaru didn't seem to be the least bit appreciative 
of what he had. It just seemed to remind Makoto of that old saying. 

The bastards never value their luck.

Subaru heaved over to Chisato and Makoto's table, taking a seat and 
wrapping his arm around the blue-eyed girl. While Chisato nuzzled 
comfortably into his embrace, Makoto tried hard not to look at the two 
of them. Subaru was just a little too close to Chisato for Makoto's 
liking. 

"So..." Subaru began. "How's my No.1 girl today? You didn't sound so 
cheerful when called you this morning. What's the deal?"

"I was late." Chisato said a matter-of-factly. "But you wouldn't know 
about lateness because you're *always* late. Particularly for our dates,
Subaru."

The college student shrugged. "Hey, force of habit. I'm late to work 
all the time too, so you aren't singled out. But..." His grin then 
became easy to read. "There are a few things I'd like to single you out 
on... heh, heh, heh..."

Chisato giggled playfully as Subaru began nibbling on the tender flesh 
of her neck, not even caring that Makoto was sitting half a metre 
across from the two of them. 

"Stop it, Subaru..." Chisato said half-heartedly, trying to control her 
laughter. "Makoto is right in front of us..."

The girl in question said nothing, still looking away. Chisato had no 
idea that this was breaking Makoto's heart. Had Subaru not stopped his 
actions, a tear would have slipped out of the younger girl's eye. 

"I guess." He said, pulling back a little. "But I have a little change 
of plans. I can't go out tonight, I've got a huge turn paper to turn in 
for Wednesday."

Chisato's smile fell. "Are you cancelling our date?"

"Hell no." He assured. "I'm taking you out right now. Let's go."
Chisato blinked, totally surprised. "Hold up a second. I'm spending 
time with Makoto here."

Subaru turned his gaze to a nervous and silent Makoto. He barely even 
noticed that she was here. He didn't like her much either, but only 
because she never really took a liking to him. "She doesn't mind, do 
you, sweetheart?"

Makoto didn't look up. Tears were still welling up in her eyes. "I-I 
don't..."

"See?" Subaru grinned in triumph. "Now lets get outta here."

The college student yanked himself up from his seat and walked over to 
the door. His car was waiting. But Chisato looked toward Makoto. She 
didn't feel right about just leaving her in the lurch like that. 
Particularly because Makoto had been crying this morning and Chisato 
still did not know the cause of it. 

"Hey, Mako-honey..." Chisato started carefully. "...I don't have to go 
with him if you still need some company. I can just tell-"

Makoto shook her head. She didn't like Subaru at all, but if seeing him 
made Chisato happy then she would not stand in the way of it. With all 
her strength she held back her misery and pasted one of the phoniest 
smiles in creation on her lips.

"No. I am fine. You should go with Subaru..." 

Chisato beamed, unaware of how fake that was. "Thanks, Makoto."

Without a second thought, Chisato placed some slips of yen on the table 
to pay for the Rocky Horror and waved Makoto goodbye as she walked 
through the door to catch up with Subaru. As soon as Chisato was gone, 
Makoto broke into a fit of painful, throaty sobs, attracting the 
attention of the waitress and the manager of the bar. But right now, 
Makoto didn't care who saw it. Her lovely angel was out there with 
someone who didn't deserve her and it tore her apart.

**********

The heavens were clear when you were with me.
All was in my reach.
The darkness felt lifted, my heart was gifted, 
Your soul delivered all and each.

Then shadows returned to from the realm of ice. 
You were robbed from me...  
Why could you not see...
How right we could be...
In our land of eternal paradise? 

------------

As Makoto typed the final letters to her latest poem, more dewdrop-like 
tears crashed against the keyboard. Screwed up issues were littered 
across the floor like leaves. Makoto's school uniform had been tossed 
aside in the haze of anger, jealousy and heartbreak. She was now clad 
in a flimsy sports shirt that Chisato had bought for her during her 
trip to the national basketball championships in Kyoto. 

She had felt so... great being with Chisato earlier. For the first time 
in a while, she didn't feel isolated or lonely. Then Subaru came in and 
wrecked everything. Why did he have to move to Hidaka? If he had not of 
gone there, then Chisato might be with her right now. Makoto just could 
not see what Chisato saw in him. 

Makoto wrenched more sobs out as she laid her head to rest on the 
keyboard, not even bothering to save her latest poem. All she could 
think about was the pain. It hurt so much that the pain felt almost 
physical. She could actually *feel* it. 

Why didn't Chisato love her?

Though she didn't even want to venture into that area, she couldn't 
stop herself from doing it. In the background were the distinct heavy 
metal sounds of a Gentatsu Boys song. The current song 'Redemption for 
my sins' sung the only thing in the world that seemed to relate to her 
problem. 

The agony of an unrequited love.

Makoto slowly sung along to the lyrics with a broken voice, her throat 
so sore from all her crying. "You...say...it's...about me... try 
again... honey... its always you and he..."

She continued to sing unhappily in between whimpers as the time went on.
"Can I know... what I did wrong... what made you hate me... for so 
long... why can't I hold you... why can't I know you... I'd trade it 
for a thousand wins... if only you could absolve my sins... I'd be 
there for you... I'd care for you too... you know it to be true... I'd 
move the earth for you... so god why can't you... absolve my sins..."

Makoto stopped herself as she continued to weep once more. The music was
so loud that you could barely hear it. Or the sounds of her mother's 
hateful yelling to turn it down. All she was aware of was her sadness.

*********

"Ah, Geez..."

Chisato winced and looked away as Subaru started singing. It was about 
10.00 at night, their day out had lasted a lot longer than they expected
it to, and then Subaru got a call from his friends saying that a fresh 
new nightclub had opened up downtown. So they decided (well, Subaru 
decided and Chisato just tagged along) that they would go to this 
nightclub and have a little fun. Though Chisato would have preferred to 
end their day with the meal at the restaurant, she did like the idea of 
cutting loose at a nightclub. Chisato had to work hard all the time to 
pay for tuition and her apartment, so it was these times of relaxation 
and fun that Chisato valued the most. 

However, the day had not gone as planned. The nightclub was open but 
the heating system was broken, so it was just as cold inside as it was 
outside. The majority of the people there were over 22 years of age and 
below 28, so you can expect the sort of things that crowd would attract.
Not only that but Subaru's third blast of alcohol had taken its toll. 
He was almost drunk. Subaru was a tough guy but he never took well to 
'big drinks'. 

The two were standing across from the dance floor by the bar, the 
bartender struggling to hold back his laughter as Subaru's head moved 
from side to side in a drunkard fashion. Chisato on the other hand, she 
tried to focus on anything *but* Subaru, staring out into the dance 
floor. Despite the coldness, this nightclub had attracted quite a nice 
number of people.

Subaru saw Chisato looking out at the dance floor and made assumptions. 
"Y-You... wanna dance, C-Chisato?"

Chisato rolled her eyes. "Subaru... I'm fine. Though I'd rather be 
doing something else other than watch my blasted boyfriend make a fool 
of himself."

"Ah, C'mon..." Subaru held out his hand. "I... said I'd show you a good 
time, didn't I?"

"Forget it, Subaru-"

Chisato then stopped herself as a young man (around 21 in age) 
accidentally bumped into her. The young man bowed in apology. "Sorry 
about that, ma'am."

Chisato just shrugged. "Not a problem."

While this young man turned to the bartender to buy a few drinks, 
Subaru eyed him up and down. Chisato looked back at him, and instantly 
got worried when she saw that look of envy in his eyes. One problem 
with Subaru was that he over-reacted to every action men took around 
Chisato. Before he even said anything to Chisato, Subaru was at the 
back of the young man, yanking him around by the shoulder. 

"Hey!" He yelled indignantly. "You makin' eyes at MY woman?"

The boy blinked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Chisato tried to calm this down before anything got started. "Look, 
Subaru he only bumped into me. It was an accident."

"Bull!" Subaru yelled. "You lay a finger on her and I'll rip that head 
off your damn shoulders!" 

Then most of the around people gasped as Subaru landed a whopping left 
hook on the young man. Chisato held her head in shame as the man climbed
back onto his feet and launched himself in a blind tackle at Subaru. 
The two crashed into the ground and began scuffling like a pair of 10-
year-olds, while a disbelieving Chisato looked on. As a crowd began to 
develop around the scrapping pair, Chisato back stepped out of the 
spotlight and dash around the dance floor towards the nearest fire exit.
There was no way she was going to stay there and let Subaru humiliate 
her like this.

**********

The next morning, a boring Tuesday, Chisato slowly yawned and stretched 
out her limbs in her wildly comfortable bed. After giving off a loud 
'unladylike' yawn, the blue-eyed girl pulled off the covers to her bed,
her eyes adjusting to the light peering through the curtains of her 
window. Then as she woke up, she remembered the activities of last 
night. 

About Subaru. 

She could not believe that Subaru had embarrassed her like that. She 
really didn't know how it had all turned out for him. She just left him 
to get on with it. Though she felt a little guilty about it, Chisato 
felt like Subaru deserved it. God, that was the last time she ever went 
near a nightclub when she was on a date with Subaru. 

Then, the phone went off. You really didn't have to psychic to know who 
it was. The dark-haired girl ignored the call and stood up, climbing 
off the bed, letting the phone ring as she sorted out her school 
uniform. Just as she was pulling it out, Chisato's phone went into the 
message mode.

"Hey, Chisato..." Chisato closed her eyes. It was Subaru for sure. "I'm 
sorry about last night. You know my ass has a habit of getting itself 
into hot water... but... eh... I'll make it up to you. My friend 
Nobusawa is having a party, so maybe we could go? Just gimme a reply 
soon, I'll leave my mobile on. Laters."

The message was saved onto the machine, and Chisato just looked at it. 
Did Subaru really think she'd go with him to a party after his 
performance yesterday? Arrogant jerk. But then, Chisato really didn't 
feel like she had any right to criticise him. After all, she did 
abandon Makoto. The younger girl did say it was okay for her to go, but 
Chisato felt guilty about it all the same.

{Hmmm...} Chisato mused. {I should make it up to her.} 

At that moment, Chisato (clad only in her bra and panties) walked over 
to the phone and quickly tapped in Makoto's number. It was pretty early 
in the morning, but Makoto had her own private number, so it wouldn't 
get her in trouble with her parents. Soon the phone was ringing, though 
nobody picked up. 

Chisato wondered about it. {She must still be asleep.}

No matter, Makoto's answer machine went off. "Hey, Mako-honey, it's me, 
Chisato. I'm sorry I left you back at Yatsuda's. If it helps, my date 
with Subaru was a bust. If you're free, do you wanna take me out later? 
Of course I'll pay again." Chisato laughed a bit. "I really am sorry 
about yesterday. Anyway, I'll see you at School. Bye."

Chisato put the phone down. Hopefully, Makoto wouldn't be too angry 
with her about it. 

**********

"Hey, Mako-honey, it's me, Chisato. I'm sorry I left you back at 
Yatsuda's. If it helps, my date with Subaru was a bust. If you're free,
do you wanna take me out later? Of course I'll pay again. *giggle* I 
really am sorry about yesterday. Anyway, I'll see you at school. Bye."

Makoto replayed that recording for like the eighth time. She didn't 
intend to miss the call. That was an accident. But what it led to was 
enough. Chisato wanted to go out with her. The shorthaired Makoto sat 
broodingly on her bed, her dark locks tousled by sleep, her cheeks 
stained with tear tracks and her usually cute eyes puffy and red. She 
could barely sleep last night. And it was all because Subaru took 
Chisato away from her. But could she go through all that again? Could 
Makoto stand to be hurt like that again? The only reason she was even 
considering it was because Chisato sounded so apologetic. And Makoto 
knew that there was no way she could resist it. Makoto continued to 
think as she sat up and organized her room, picking up the uniform 
(that she had tossed away recklessly yesterday afternoon) for school. 
Maybe going out with Chisato was a good idea. If she and Subaru weren't 
getting on then at least he couldn't get in the way. And she did enjoy 
herself before he showed up.  

The young girl released a self-reprimanding sigh as she gave up. Chisato
wasn't even here and she had the younger girl wrapped around her little 
finger. A typical after-effect of love. The brown-eyed Makoto pulled 
together her uniform for school and walked out the door of her room, 
toward her bathroom, thinking about the day that lay ahead. 

**********

Kyougi High. 8.32, Tuesday Morning. In the large open doorway to the 
main building, with her arms crossed impatiently, Chisato waited 
patiently for the arrival of Makoto. As usual, snowfall in Hokkaido was
not scattered. It was periodic and consistent. So identical to yesterday
and the day before that, it was a-snowing-like-nobody's-business. Much 
to Chisato's anger. It was freezing, and she hated coldness with a 
passion. No matter how romantic it made the city look, it felt like 
hell, which was a double standard in itself.  

No matter, the only thing that Chisato wanted to think about was 
getting inside as soon as Makoto reached school. The young girl looked 
across the snow-ridden courtyard over to the gates of the school, 
waiting for Makoto to get there. Normally, Chisato would not have even 
bothered to get up so early that she got to school half an hour before 
it started. But, it felt right for her to seek out Makoto rather than 
the reverse. 

After another ten minutes of waiting, Chisato's smile brightened as 
Makoto Tome stepped through the gates, with Koharu at her side. It made 
Chisato wonder where Setsuki and Murakami were. Probably playing pool 
inside the common room or something. Chisato picked up her book bag that
was neatly rested by the wall, then walked over to Makoto and Koharu. 

"You sure you're okay, Makoto?" Koharu asked concerned. "You seem kinda 
preoccupied with something."

"Not really." Makoto shook her head. Not really something, more like 
someone. Which was more or less the trend for Makoto these days. Speak 
of the devil, Chisato walked up to the two girls, giving her greetings 
to both but focusing her attentions on Makoto.

"Morning, guys." Chisato said, looking toward Makoto.

Makoto just nodded shyly, while Koharu spoke up. "Morning, Chisato. 
Have you seen Setsuki and the devil's seed, Murakami? I've been looking 
for the two of them all morning."

"All morning? How long have you been here?" Chisato asked. 

Koharu whistled sneakily, as if to say 'I have a secret, but I ain't 
gonna tell you anything'. Chisato decided not to tread there. If it 
were important, she'd find out about it later. Instead of moving the 
conversation away from that, Koharu caught sight of Setsuki across the 
courtyard. The young girl made her apologies before she left abruptly. 
"Sorry, I've got to be going, guys. Seeya!"

All the better for Chisato and Makoto, anyways. Chisato smiled a 
bashful smile at Makoto, and the younger girl knew what that meant. It
was her 'Do you forgive me?' smile. Not like Makoto even believed that 
Chisato could do any wrongs. But then again, from Makoto's perspective,
Chisato outweighed the whole world. 

"I-I am not mad at you, Chisato." Makoto said quietly. "You didn't do 
anything wrong."

Chisato wrapped her left arm around Makoto's shoulder as they began to 
walk to the main school building. "Yeah I did. I shouldn't have left 
you there like that. It was wrong, Mako-honey. But I will make it up to 
you, I promise. Tonight, it'll be just you and me, wherever you fancy."

"But my parents..."

"You won't be out that late." Chisato said. "I'll bring you back home 
on time, you can count on it. No offence, but I kinda wouldn't like to 
get on the bad side of your mom... she's a bit..."

Makoto tried her hardest to smile, but it came out as a smirk. Chisato 
was not the only one who disliked Makoto's mother. Makoto herself really
couldn't stand Konatsu. "No offence taken."

Chisato smiled at the younger girl. "So where do you want to go? There 
was this lovely little restaurant uptown called 'Shinbunjou' that I 
went to with Koharu and Setsuki once. It was the around the time you, 
Murakami and the rest of the class were on that trip to France. They 
served great food, and there is a great coffee place right across from 
it. How's that sound?"  

Makoto nodded in acceptance. "T-That sounds wonderful..."

"Great! Then it's all settled! You and I will meet up at about 8.30, 
alright? In front of the old statue near your road, the one of Hokusai 
Katsushika. That okay?"

"Uh huh." Though Makoto was unaware of it, her head had started to lean 
on Chisato's shoulder. No matter how much pain her love for Chisato 
brought her, she couldn't stop coming back for more. 

*********

12 hours after Makoto and Chisato had arranged to go out together, the 
younger girl was back at her house. School had finished at 4, and she 
had walked home with Chisato, who reminded her of the meeting time. 
Makoto said that she would not forget and waved Chisato off as she 
walked round to the bus stop to go back her apartment. 

Makoto was excited about today. After the way yesterday ended, this was 
a welcome change. It was so weird though. Just last night she was in 
tears, playing loud, depressing music and writing poignant poetry. Now 
she was standing in front of a mirror modelling an outfit on her own 
body. She felt... confused to the utmost. Did Chisato have her in that 
much of a state? Makoto could not get her head around it. Her heart 
felt so... heavy from knowing that Chisato didn't love her. But she 
also felt uplifted now that she and Chisato were spending some time 
together. And nobody could get in the way. She would have the crystal-
eyed girl all to herself (as greedy as that sounded). 

Makoto decided to wear a long white dress, one that her mother had 
imported from Italy. To go with it would be a pair of equally white 
flat heel shoes, and a bracelet given to her on her 17th birthday. 
Makoto placed her outfit on her bed and walked over to the door of her 
room, grabbing shampoo as she left the room. She knew better than to 
think of this as a... date, but it would have been sinful to pop that 
cloud nine that Makoto Tome was riding right now.

**********

"Ah, here we go. I'm ready."

Chisato smiled at herself in her large mirror. As it's been said, she 
was not a vain person, but she did like to know that she looked good 
when she left to go out for something. Today that something was Makoto.
It would be nice to spend sometime with Makoto. They really haven't had 
much time to have a straight talk about things. Mostly because of 
Makoto's problem. But whatever it was, Chisato believed that she could 
get Makoto past it in the end. The 18-year-old was wearing one of her 
normal choices of clothing, a shimmering black evening dress and her 
favourite pair of hoop earrings. Normally she would have worn her 
notorious pair of midnight black pumps, ones that in combination of a 
mini-skirt, were guaran-damn-teed to get a reaction from people. 
Usually, it was a positive one. 

Unfortunately, because of the snow, wearing something like that was 
virtually impossible. Not unless she wanted to trip up in public again. 

{Oh well, it's not that much of a tragedy.} Thought Chisato. 

Subsequent to a quick toss of her sexy elongated locks of dark hair, 
Chisato grabbed her keys and handbag and then walked out the door of 
her bedroom. She picked up her puffy winter jacket from the coat hook 
and opened the front door to her one-floor apartment, locking it behind 
her as she left. The Unazuki girl walked down the stairwell of her 
apartment building, down and down each floor until she reached ground 
level. Chisato walked through the lobby past a few of her neighbours 
returning from their days at work. Then as she stepped out the door of 
the lobby into the snowy outside, she saw Subaru's car parked right up 
against the pavement of the road. Subaru was sitting cross-armed on the
steps up to the building, waiting for Chisato to come down. Chisato 
just eyed the man. She still had not forgotten the humiliation Subaru 
put her through. 

"You need something, Kyo Kusanagi?" Chisato scathed sarcastically. 

Subaru ignored Chisato's ill-placed humour. "I'm sorry I punched that 
guy. I was drunk, Chisato. I paid for it with the mother of all 
hangovers this morning."

"You acted like a little kid." Chisato said scolding. "Fighting over me 
like I'm some sorta prize. What do I look like, a goldfish at a fair?"

"I said I'm sorry, what more do you want?" 

Chisato rolled her eyes. "Well, some space would do wonders right about 
now."

"Where are you going?" Subaru asked.

"To meet a friend." Chisato supplied. "Makoto? You remember her, don't 
you? She's the good friend I ditched yesterday because like a fool I 
wanted to spend time with my boyfriend who ends up getting himself into 
bar fights."

Subaru's shoulders slumped. "I get the point, Chisato. I was wrong, I 
admit it and I'm not trying to check up on you or anything. Just give 
me a chance to apologize properly."

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" Chisato said sceptically. 

Subaru gestured to his car. "Come for a ride with me?"

"...I said I'm meeting someone."

"I know that." The college pupil said. "But it'll barely take you five 
minutes, and then you can be sure I'll drop you off wherever you want 
to go. Please?"

Chisato heaved a sigh as a surrender of her resolve. There was no way 
Subaru was going to let it go anyway. "You've got five minutes."

That was it. All he needed. Subaru smiled at a still unconvinced Chisato
and the two walked over to his polished red convertible. Like the 'true 
gentleman' he was, Subaru held open the door to the passenger side of 
his car for Chisato. She said nothing as she sat down, shutting the door
alongside her. Subaru dashed around to the other side and hopped into 
his wheels, instantly twisting the key to the ignition. Soon as his baby
got revved up enough, he pressed his foot onto the accelerator and 
drove off into the snowy recesses of Hidaka Sanmyaku. 

Twelve minutes later, Subaru was still driving, out on the road towards 
the suburban district. Why on earth would he want to drive her out here?

"Subaru..." Chisato began, her hair being tossed back in the wind 
resistance. "You had five minutes. And your five minutes are up."

"Don't be such a stiff, Chisato. You'll love this, I'm sure." Subaru 
claimed as he drove.

Chisato looked over at the driver. "What does that mean?"

There was no need to finish that sentence. Just a few seconds after, 
Subaru pulled up to a quiet road, just off the main one. There were 
quite a few cars around and as you looked up the snowy pathway to a 
certain house, you saw a large house, booming with music and brimming 
with lively young adults. 

While Subaru smiled cunningly, Chisato just exhaled. Subaru had brought 
her to that party of Nobusawa's. Did he hear her when she said she had 
something else planned?

"What do you think?" Subaru said happily.

"I think I'm dating a moron. Subaru, I told you, I wasn't coming to 
this party. I'm going out with Makoto tonight."

"That little mouse?" Subaru jabbed. "But why?"

Chisato rolled her eyes. "Well last time I checked, she was my best 
friend. People *do* like to hang out with their friends on occasion, 
master brain."

Subaru gave up. Chisato was pounding him with more of that sardonic 
humour. Chisato could be as hardheaded as a stone statue when she wanted
to be, and if she got a plan into that skull of hers, there was no 
stopping her. The college student sighed and laid both his hands on the 
wheel.

"You want me to drop you back?" Subaru asked quietly.

Chisato let her disposition soften a little. Subaru meant no harm; he 
was just a little impulsive. "I wouldn't mind."

Subaru nodded, releasing a pent up breath, once again turning the key 
to the ignition. All he really wanted was to give Chisato such a good 
time that she forgot about his mistake yesterday. But apparently it 
would not work out that way. He pressed his foot on the accelerator and 
took one last look at the party for driving up the road and reversing 
back around toward Chisato's place. Three minutes later, the car reached
an inter-junction that connected the suburban district to south end, 
Chisato's area. Both Subaru and Chisato recoiled in shock when they saw 
the middle of the junction. It was piled up with thick sheets of snow 
that must have fallen down from the roofs of the buildings around the 
junction due to the winds. Traffic continued to pile up as other cars 
came up to the four-way intersection.

"Damn..." Subaru cursed under breath. "The road's been cut off. It'll 
take ages for this to get sorted out, Chisato."

"Great..." The dark haired girl blew. "Just bloody great."

*********

As the snow from above continued to fall, so did a fine looking set of 
roses. It crashed onto the snow-covered ground slowly, but with it went 
all of Makoto's hopes, dreams, beliefs and expectations. She just 
couldn't believe it. Standing in front of the statue of Hokusai 
Katsushika, waiting for Chisato's arrival. That arrival never came. It 
was nearly two hours since she and Chisato had agreed to meet each 
other. Chisato had stood her up. 

The thought of this turned Makoto's insides out, completely destroying 
whatever fragile hopes she had for a future for herself and Chisato. And
she had been building up for this in her mind. Makoto had even stopped 
to buy some roses from a local florist, just to make this evening more 
special to herself and Chisato. But the other girl had not even bothered
to show up. Chisato didn't even value Makoto enough to show herself. 

From the first hour, Makoto's brain had come up with all kinds of 
explanations for this. Homework, business, work. But none of it added 
up to anything. She tried calling Chisato's apartment from the payphone 
across the street but there was no reply. There could simply be only 
two reasons for her not turning up. One was that she forgot, or the 
other was that she chose to spend her evening with Subaru instead. And 
for Makoto, the latter was much more likely. Either way, it broke her 
heart. Even more than it previously had been. The young woman fell to 
her knees in shock, not even feeling the inert dulling coldness of 
Hokkaido snow chilling her legs. She was absolutely devastated. 

How could she have convinced herself that things would work out between 
her and Chisato? The shorthaired girl slowly stood up on weak legs, 
staring off into the ominous darkness of the nightly distance. There 
were no tears in her eyes. She couldn't even cry anymore... it just 
hurt. That throbbing pain, deep beneath her breast. Though she was 
hardly aware of it, Makoto started walking forwards, emotionlessly, 
soullessly, like a mindless automaton, unthinking and unfeeling.  

The mildly warm jacket blew off her shoulders, but Makoto took no 
notice of it and just kept walking. She had no idea of where she was 
going, but to be honest she didn't care. All she could think about was 
how much Chisato had hurt her. And it made her acutely unaware of how 
hard the snow was starting to fall. 

**********

An hour or so later, at around 11.34, roughly three hours after Chisato 
was appointed to meet up with Makoto. Subaru's car, complete with 
Subaru and Chisato, pulled up to the southern road, the one that led 
down to the statue of Hokusai Katsushika. They finally had managed to 
get out of that mad traffic jam but it took damn near four hours. 
Chisato pulled out of the red car, hopping onto the snow of the street.
Subaru looked around as Chisato stepped out the car. The snow was really
getting rough. You could barely open your mouth without a wave of 
snowflakes blowing into it, all thanks to the strong winds.

"C-Chisato." Subaru struggled to say. "It's... not safe out here. You 
should be... getting home."

Chisato held her arms around her body. Even with her winter coat it was 
freezing cold out here. "N-No... N-Not w-without... M-M-Mako..."

Well, Subaru wasn't going to be successful in dissuading her. With a 
wave and a promise to call her tomorrow morning, Subaru drove off. 
Chisato could tell that Subaru *really* did not want to leave her out 
here alone, but it might be better this way. Chisato just hoped that 
Makoto was still here, even though she had no reason to be. She knew 
that she was so late, that it would be arrogant to expect Makoto to 
have waited for her. The longhaired Kyougi High student speedily walked 
down the snowy southern road, towards the statue that she was supposed 
to meet Makoto in front of. The mild dash slowed down once she reached 
it. 

Makoto was not there. 

Only two articles (aside from the statue) were there. One was a set of 
roses, a rather expensive looking set of them, and a winter jacket that 
Chisato identified as belonging to Makoto. But the young girl was not 
there. 

{Has she gone home?} Chisato thought urgently.

It did make sense. Why would Makoto hang around in this freezing 
snowstorm when she probably thought that Chisato had forgotten? Still, 
Chisato couldn't help but worry. Why would she leave her jacket lying 
around like that? Chisato squinted at both sides of the road to see if 
any cars were coming. None. She then crossed the road and made her way 
to the payphone that was standing across from her. Chisato picked up 
the receiver and fumbled to reach the pocket of her coat, the one that 
held her phone card. Her hands were so numb they could barely hold it. 
She fished it out after some effort, and swiped it through the machine. 
Chisato then quickly punched in Makoto's number by tapping the keys of 
the phone box. 

After a short wait, someone picked up the phone. "Hello?" That was not 
Makoto. It was her mother, Konatsu. The last person Chisato wanted to 
deal with right now.

"Mrs. T-Tome..." Chisato said. "I-Is M-Makoto... there?"

"You're Chisato Unazuki, aren't you? Makoto is not here. She said she 
was going out with you... is there something I should know about?"

"I-I-I was... g-gonna meet her... but... I-I-I w-was l-late..."

"Where is she?" Konatsu demanded.

Chisato said nothing. "..."

"Did you hear me?" Konatsu was still persistent. "Where is my 
daughter?!"

Chisato's blue eyes dropped. "I-I d-don't k-know..."

"You fool! What have you done? You left her alone in that weather and 
you have the nerve to call my home and tell me you do not know where 
she is?! My child is out there and you... you..."

Chisato felt her heart drop along with her eyes. This was her fault. 
And now Makoto was probably in danger. "I-I'm... g-gonna... find her... 
p-please... j-just... w-wait a while..."

Then she hung up before Konatsu could say any more. The Tome mother 
held her responsible for this. And she could not blame Konatsu for 
thinking that. Because Chisato felt the same way. Had she have just 
told Subaru straight away that she had plans, then they would have 
never driven away and they would have never gotten caught up in all 
that traffic. Then Makoto would be safe with her. Where did she go? 

Why would Makoto disappear like that? Surely she could see that it 
wasn't safe out here due to the snow and winds? What was worse was that 
Makoto didn't even have her jacket. Chisato didn't know what her friend 
was wearing but even with her own jacket, Chisato was freezing. God 
knows how it must have felt for Makoto. Though her voice was still 
choppy thanks to the cold, Chisato called out, searching the street for 
her friend. 

"...M...M-Makoto!" She tried hard to yell. "W-Where a-are you...?!"

The young woman stated walking, slowly at first, to keep from slipping 
over the snow, then her walk developed into a short run. All the while, 
Chisato screamed out Makoto's name as loudly as she could, hoping that 
she would respond some way. But nothing came. It was the middle of the 
night, the snow and wind was insane, it was glacially cold and Chisato 
could barely see as far as a metre in front of her. Who knows what kind 
of problems Makoto could run into out there in that climate? For the 
next half-hour, Chisato yelled out again and again, searching and 
probing for Makoto in the snowy winds. Just when she was beginning to 
think that Makoto could not be found, Chisato's squinting blue eyes 
caught sight of something in a snowdrift, a snowdrift that had piled up 
during the current hours. It was black hair. Chisato ran over to the 
clump of snow by the roadside, to inspect whoever or whatever it was. 

Her eyes went wide with panic. "Makoto!"

It was Makoto. And she was unconscious. 

**********

"Here. I think you might need this."

A doctor from Hidaka General Hospital walked up to a shivering Chisato, 
with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. Chisato had a warm brown blanket
wrapped around her body, the body that had been chilled to the bone 
from that anomalous coldness. That was the first time Chisato had ever 
experienced anything like that. It was completely out of the blue for 
such a snowstorm to occur. Even in Hokkaido. The moment Chisato found 
Makoto, she carefully pulled her out of the snow, and draped the younger
girl in her own coat. Then Chisato ran back to the payphone as quickly 
as she could to call for an ambulance. They got there quickly enough, 
and luckily, Chisato was allowed to go with Makoto to the hospital to 
make sure she would be all right. When they got to the Hidaka General, 
she called Makoto's parents and they were on their way. Then Chisato 
settled down when she realized that there was nothing more that she 
could do. 

"Thanks." The Kyougi High student gratefully accepted the cup of coffee
from the doctor and took a sip; it's warmth a comforting feeling going 
down her.

However her concern was not for herself. "What... about Makoto? Is... 
is she alright?" 

The doctor's gaze softened. "She was out there a long time. Lucky for 
Miss Tome, you found her before anything worse happened. Had she been 
out there any longer she might have been subject to pneumonia. It was 
due to your quick action that she was not any worse off. At the moment 
she is fine, though we would like to keep her in overnight to observe 
her."

{It was thanks to me that she was out there alone in the first place.} 
Chisato thought scathingly. "C-Can I see her? Please?"

"We usually reserve visiting rights for the immediate next of kin..."

"Please?!" Chisato pleaded desperately. "I need to see her... I really 
need to be with her right now..."

The doctor smiled softly. "I see. Okay. You can see her. But only for a 
short few minutes. I don't want her to be overstressed right now."

"Thank you!" Chisato brightened up a bit but still remained concerned. 
She took off the blanket around her body, and placed the cup of coffee 
down on the table by her chair. She then stood up and walked over to 
Makoto's room, no.135. 

She slowly opened the pearly white door, and looked over toward the bed 
of the young Makoto. It broke Chisato's heart to she her like that. 
Though she was sleeping peacefully, her skin looked so pale. Makoto 
seemed so... fragile right now. Chisato had never seen her like that 
before. It scared her in a way. Chisato had always believed that she 
could protect Makoto from anything. But in the end of it all, she really
didn't have that power. And she held herself utterly responsible for 
Makoto's condition. 

Chisato stepped around the room toward the bed. Unthinkingly she brought
her hand to the pallid cheek of Makoto Tome, savouring the feel of her 
soft, chilled skin. Before she knew it her hand was running though her 
short locks of hair, and though Chisato was unaware of it... a tear 
passed down from her eye. For the first time since her father died, 
Chisato had tears in her eyes. She could not believe how close she came 
to losing Makoto tonight. 

Then, to her surprise, Makoto's eyelids began to shake a little. Chisato
gasped as the younger girl's usually bright brown eyes awoke from her 
snow-induced comatose state. 

Makoto could hardly speak. "...C-Chisato...?"

Now, Chisato was aware of the wetness in her eyes. Makoto... she was 
okay... Makoto was okay. The happiness she felt from that notion was 
indescribable. But then... that happiness she felt took a turn toward 
something more severe. And in Chisato's opinion, more appropriate. 

Anger. 

Chisato's smile reversed into a frown and her uplifted eyes narrowed 
out, expressing clearly to Makoto that rage that the older girl was 
feeling right now. Chisato had just realized how angry she was at 
Makoto. Of all the stupid, childish things to do, why the hell did she 
walk around in a damn snowstorm with nothing more on her back than a 
flimsy nightdress? Makoto was just about to inquire into Chisato's 
anger, that is until she felt it first hand, in the form of a vicious 
slap across her already numb face. 

Chisato drew back her hand and scowled at the younger woman. "You 
selfish bitch!" She screamed. "Do you realize how close you came to 
killing yourself tonight? Do you!? What if I hadn't found you? You 
wouldn't even be here! I could have lost you forever! Just like my 
father! Then what would I have... what... would...I... oh, Makoto..."

The longhaired girl broke down across Makoto's body, no longer able to 
say anything more of any worth. Makoto, with her pale cheek suddenly 
reddened, watched Chisato cry across her chest. She had no idea that 
she hurt Chisato. She was just now realizing that she was in hospital. 
Though her hand was shaking, Makoto tried as hard as she could and 
placed it against Chisato's cheek, already damp with tears. 

Makoto felt her own heartbeat speed up from seeing this. The usually 
strong, confident Chisato was crying right in front of her. Makoto 
never forgive herself for hurting Chisato.

"...I'm sorry..." The shorthaired girl said in earnest. And she meant 
it. It was such a fragile phrase, but she meant it.

Chisato brought her face up from Makoto's chest. She was apologizing to 
her. Truth be told, Chisato was angrier with herself for allowing it to 
happen. Had she been sterner with Subaru then none of it would have 
happened. The hard, penetrating stare of Chisato's dissolved as all 
glares do, back into a weak smile of joy. Makoto was okay, that was what
mattered most. Her Mako-honey was okay...

Chisato leaned over to Makoto's face, smiling generously at the younger 
woman. She let her hand come back to its former place at Makoto's cheek,
rubbing it softly, but in a different way. This time it was tenderer, 
almost nurturing. Chisato looked hard into Makoto's searing cinnamon 
eyes. Until today she had never really contemplated how much Makoto 
meant to her. The thought of losing her made Chisato physically sick. 
All her life, Chisato's loved ones had left her.

She had lost her mother doing childbirth, so Chisato never really knew 
her. And Chisato's father died a couple years ago, an event that she 
had never really gotten over. Makoto was the only person left in the 
world that she really loved. But for the first time, the depths of her 
love were realized. And the kind of love that she felt toward the 
younger girl was put into question. 

Even Makoto was confused by the way Chisato was just staring at her, 
saying nothing, just staring intently, lovingly, monitoring Makoto's 
every facial feature. It was as if Chisato was seeing her for the very 
first time. 

Chisato wasn't really thinking anything. All she did was let her 
instincts guide her. Which led to her head coming closer and closer to 
Makoto's. That gap of space between Chisato and Makoto's lips lessened 
and lessened until there was no gap between them. Makoto's chestnut 
eyes shot wide open as Chisato kissed her. She couldn't even get her 
thoughts straight enough react, so she just lay there, letting Chisato 
kiss her. 

A few seconds after Makoto lost her misgivings, Chisato jerked wildly 
off of Makoto, breathing hard as she stepped back from the bed. 

{W-What am I doing?} Chisato thought urgently. {Did I just kiss Makoto 
like that? Why...?}

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry!" Chisato said in a panic, scrambling to open
the door and get out of there. Chisato bolted out the door and shut it
behind her loudly, disturbing some of the doctors passing by the room. 
Her eyes were wide with shock, her breath was frayed, and her emotions 
were running a mile a minute. Why did she do that? Why did she kiss 
Makoto? The young girl was just unconscious from a temperature drop. 
Chisato herself had a boyfriend. Makoto was insecure and... needing of 
someone's comfort... why did she take advantage of that? Why was she 
kissing Makoto in the first place? 
 
In her confusion, Chisato slid down the wall she was leaning up against,
dragging her fingers into her hair, clutching at it tightly. She was so 
confused, hurt, saddened and mystified. Chisato just didn't know what 
to make of it all. But she wasn't the only one feeling that way. 

The door to Makoto's room opened up as the girl herself stepped through
it. She was struggling to stand and she knew that it would be better 
for her to stay in bed... but this was more important. Chisato saw 
Makoto standing above her, though she had no idea what might be going 
through her mind.

{She's probably disgusted with me.} Chisato thought sadly. 

When Chisato wouldn't look at her, Makoto stepped in front of the other
girl, and kneeled down to look at her at eye level. 

"Chisato..."

Chisato gradually brought her crystal clear blue eyes around to gaze 
into Makoto's bright brown ones. "I'm sorry... please don't hate me."

Makoto said nothing; she looked toward Chisato's left hand. She was 
shaking. The younger girl held Chisato's hand in her own, bringing up 
to her face. Now keeping her eyes on Chisato with a soft glance, Makoto
brought Chisato's hand to her lips; gently kissing the sore knuckles 
that dug her out of that snow. The fear in Makoto's heart was gone; all
that was left was a thin strand of hope. Hope that Chisato could love 
Makoto in the same way Makoto loved her.  

Chisato was speechless. There were no words to describe what she was 
feeling, not least the way Makoto's soft lips felt on her shaking hand. 
But then she needed to say nothing. It was Makoto's turn to reveal her 
heart. And it was a heart that she would belong to forever, as her ears 
heard Makoto's next passion-filled comment.

"I'm in love with you, Chisato."

**********

Three Months Later.

**********

I can't believe it's been three months since that day. 

Three months since the day I found out how Makoto felt about me. 

I can't say that I wasn't surprised; I never even knew that Makoto had 
an inclination towards girls. I guess it explained a lot though. Like 
why she never had a boyfriend. Or why she never liked Subaru. Now that 
I think about it, it must have been torture for Makoto. To see Subaru 
and me together. It was probably the reason she just walked away that 
day, too.

Had I known... I would have done something to make it better for her. 
But then if I did I might never have realized that I felt the same way. 
Three months ago I saw Makoto as nothing more than a close friend. Now 
I can barely go three seconds without holding her. 

God, she's beautiful. 

Here she is, sleeping next to me in my bed, the rays of morning sun 
shining on her beautiful face. Her mom would probably freak if she knew 
the kinds of things I was doing to her last night, but I couldn't care 
less. From Mako-honey's reaction to it... I doubt she'd care either. 
I'm just glad her first time was with me. It makes me feel... special 
to her I suppose. The way she made me feel that day... when she told me 
she loved me... I don't think I'll ever forget what it was like.   

My hand rolls through her silky short hair, hair just about long enough
to touch her shoulders. With her naked form sleeping peacefully next to 
mine under the covers of my bed, I don't feel afraid of anything. All I 
really care about right now is her.  

Even though it's my 19th birthday today, I'm really not bothered about 
it. I've already gotten the best present of all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Expensive promises I made, all the chances that I take,
Never learned to appreciate our time. 


Lie awake all through the night,
Memories by candlelight. 
Keep them safe locked inside my mind...


I heard you calling to me! (You called to me!)
I know now I am complete! (I am complete!)
Was lost in the moment, got carried away,
Heard the sound of you calling my name...
Now I am complete.


Misplaced trust and honesty, 
Should have known the time to leave,
Close my eyes and imagine I was blind.


Open up and said too much,
Thoughts of us remained untouched,
Keep them safe locked inside... my mind...


I heard you calling to me! (You called to me!)
I know now I am complete! (I am complete!)
Was lost in the moment, got carried away! (Carried away!) 
Heard the sound of you calling my name!


Now I am complete...


Now I am complete...


Now I am complete...


Now I am complete.


Untamed words communicate, things that time will never take,

Look for me and I'll do the same in kind.
Now tomorrow seems so clear, whisper softly to your ear,
Keep me safe locked inside... your mind...


I heard you calling to me! (You called to me!)
I know now I am complete! (I am complete!)
Was lost in the moment, got carried away! (Carried away!) 

Heard the sound of you calling my name! (Sound of you calling my name!)


I heard you calling to me! (You called to me!)
I know now I am complete! (I am complete!)
Was lost in the moment, got carried away! (Carried away!) 

Heard the sound of you calling my name! (Sound of you calling my name!)


Now I am complete...


*********

THE END

**********


Kaiser Afterthoughts 
--------------------

* That little fic was dedicated to two people. One of those individuals 
is my lil' Honey-muffin, Sharon, who I'm sure will read this at some 
point! ^_^ The other person is a friend of mine, who is going through a
hard time right now. This fic was really written for her, and I hope 
this makes you feel a little better, sweetie. 

* I enjoyed writing that. I've been writing a lot of fantasy these days,
 but it felt good to get back to my roots. As usual, if you have any 
comments for me, please send them over, I'll be happy to read and 
respond.

* Translation Time. Kanashimi: Sadness. Kyougi: Dogma/competition. 
Hokusai Katsushika: A distinguished Japanese woodblock artist who died 
in 1849, 19 years before the Meiji Restoration. Hokkaido: A large 
mountainous island around to the north. One of the four major islands 
that make up Japan. Hidaka-sanmyaku: A predominantly rocky region of 
Hokkaido. Hidaka: A rather small town at the edge of the Hidaka-sanmyaku
province. The Gentatsu Boys: A fictional Japanese Rock band created by 
me.

* The song 'Complete' does not belong to me, as you can probably guess. 
However, the two excerpts from the poems (Trance Dance) and (Give me my 
happiness) are property of me, myself and I. Also, the lyrics of the 
'Gentatsu Boys' song (Absolve my sins) are mine. But if you want you use
any, then go right ahead.   

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