The next month drifted by in a painfully blur for Samantha. After that dreadful day the doctors proceeded to probe her and take a number to scans of her body. They discovered that other then the scars on her body there was no other evidence that she had been shot before. No bullet fragments or other internal injuries or even a sign of bullets ever passing through her body. More doctors then she could count came to visit her and look at her strange wounds, not one with an explanation as to how something like this could have happened. Sam knew exactly what those wounds meant and they would be a constant reminder of the girl she would always consider one of her friends. She felt sadness and anger fill her heart during the week she spent in the hospital, sadness for never being able to meet Star in person and anger for the person that cut her friends life so short. Every night she would be visited by nightmares of the images she saw before Star's death and each morning she tried hard to get a clear picture of who could have done this to her friend only to be greeted by a shadowy silhouette again and again. Her stay in the hospital passed much quicker then Sam expected, even with the numerous doctors visits and tests. As promised, Diana returned with a suitcase of clothes for Sam and other for Trish, explaining that Sam's mother, who Diana met in the lobby, brought it. Sam wondered if her mother would ever visit her, but realized that might not be possible after she told the social worker how her mother treated her. Sam worried that her mother would suddenly appear and accuse her of being a lair, but that never happened. It saddened Sam slightly that her mother never visited, but at the same time she was glad to be free of the woman and she was so busy with the many doctors tests that she did not have much time to think about it. Trisha stayed with her every night, only leaving to accompany her mother to Sam's old home to gather her things. They went while Sam's mother was away at work, so there would be no fighting. Trish excitedly told her how they put everything in the Sam's new bedroom, including her bed, dresser and all her stuffed animals. Trish was excited to find some of the old toys that she herself had given Sam for presents sometimes ago and Sam explained that she never threw out a single gift from Trish, realizing that she always harboured feeling for her friend, just never admitted to it. The doctors allowed Trish to stay at her side during the nights because they were such close friends, and Sam didn't have anyone else to help with her recovery. Even with her friend at her side Sam still felt herself overwhelmed by the depression that kept pulling her deeper down into a pit of despair. She knew she should be happy that she was moving in with her friend, but the thought of never being able to meet Star held heavy on her heart. She forced herself not to cry, refusing to allow the doctors to see how much pain she really was in for fear that they would only keep her longer. Before long Friday came along, one week since the madness all started, the doctors decided that there was not much else they could do for Sam. She was recovering well and her stitches were healing nicely so she would be able to leave that evening. The doctor came in to check her stitches one last time, leaving the bandages off this time, and Sam stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was the first time she had looked at herself without the bandages and she shuddered at the image before her. They had managed to stitch the wound shut without cutting too much of her hair, but there were still several black marks cutting across the line of her hair and along the brow of her head. She reached up to touch the cuts only to recoil at the sharpness of the stitches. They had told her she would have to come back to have them removed in another week or so, but she wished they were gone now. She felt ugly and ashamed of her looks. She tugged at a lock of her bangs, trying to pull it over the wounds only to have it spring back in place and let out a deep sigh. What would the kids at school think of her now, one long gash cutting over her eye, with several smaller ones filling in the space around it and the scar of a bullet next too it? She wished her hair was longer so her bangs would cover the scar at the very least, but knew it would be at least a month before her hair grew in long enough to cover the cuts, never mind the scar over her eye. Sam was shocked to find her room exactly as she had it in her old home. Diana decided to give her Trish's old room upstairs, across from Diana's room and next to the washroom. As she opened the door Sam was expecting to see it in the same state as she last visited that room, filled with Trish's toys and furniture. Instead she was stunned to find her own room, as if someone had mystically transported her bedroom into Trish's home. Trish had somehow managed to arrange everything the way they were before the accident. Stuffed animals lined the dresser, night table and bed. They had even replaced the curtains with the frilly soft white ones that she loves so dearly. The sight of the room brought tears to her eyes and she hugged Trish struggling to keep herself from crying. Trish and Diana gave her a moment to unpack her things and the moment the door closed she could feel the tears flooding her eyes and a pain welling up inside of her head. She rushed to the bed and buried her face in the pillows and let out a sorrow filled sob, allowing herself to cry for the first time since Star's death. So much sadness and loss washed over her and she curled up upon her bed, breathing in the scent of her pillows and pulling the nearest stuffed animal, a large pink rabbit, into her arms. She felt as if someone had plunged a knife deep into her heart and was twisting it violently around. Her head pounded and her stomach felt as if it was going to vomit up the small amount of dinner that she had on their way home, a meal of McDonalds burgers, fries and a shake. She had only nibbled on her fries and the burger, but felt as if the food was about to lurch forward in her stomach and make a return appearance on the floor. Although it threatened to do so she didn't puke and was grateful for that, however her sobs came out in a painful wailing that she muffled with the pillow as best she could, before long she fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of Star, of the way she felt when the girl blushed and the way she smelt when Sam passed through her body, and then came the nightmares once again. The blood coating her hands and face and the ear shattering sound of the gun. She wake up with a start to see the moon shining through her window and began to sob yet again. Sam spent the next month in her room, despair her roommate, as she listened to sad music on her radio and cried into her pillow until she was too tired to cry anymore and slept. Diana allowed her to skip school for the time being. Somehow she knew that something had upset Sam greatly but did not pry and simply allowed the girl time to herself. Sam wished there was a way she could repay Trish and Diana for their kindness, but the more she thought about it the more miserable she felt. Diana told her to rest for the next while and only return to school when she felt like it, but even though her head did not hurt as much as it used to she was not sure she could face the school, the very thought of trying to live felt like an effort. She knew that she was being silly and that she shouldn't allow Star's death to hold her back from living, but she felt as if part of her soul had been torn from her heart and she was left with an emptiness that she was certain would never be filled again. She rolled over on her bed and hugged one of her many stuffed animals as another series of tears began to break free. Every time she thought of the mysterious girl that entered her world she felt the tears return. She told herself to stop, but she could not gain control and it was beginning to make her feel like a hopeless child. She did not even have anything to remember the girl by and this only saddened her more. Then she recalled that Star was carrying the same Meephit that she had and excitement grew inside of her heart. She did have something to remember Star by, but she could not remember when she saw it last. Quickly she moved around the room in search of the strange frog toy. She did not find it among her other toys and began a frantic search through her dresser drawers for the creature. The longer she searched the more lost she felt and after a time she fled from her room to search the rest of the house. "Sam?" Diana smiled as she watched the girl come down the stairs and then frowned at the serious look upon her face, "Is something the matter?" She asked the girl, watching as Sam moved around the living room, looking under the sofa and the coffee table. Sam lifted her head above the coffee table, glancing at the books that lay upon its surface, "My Meephit..." She said in a panicked voice, "Have you seen it?" Diana thought for a moment and shook her head, "The last time I saw it was at the hospital. Did you forget it there?" Sam's eyes filled with dread and she sprung to her feet, her head spinning around as she searched the room, "I couldn't have... I wouldn't... I made sure I had everything with me..." Franticly she moved to the closet and began searching the pockets of her jacket. Diana got to her feet, "I'll try giving the hospital a call. They might have found it for you." She stated with an assuring smile that did not comfort Sam's worries. Sam continued to search the room, then moved to the subbasement and recalled the many days she spent down here with Trish and sighed. She felt sorry for the girl; she was so wrapped up in her own worries that she did not have time to be with Trish much. Trish checked on her after school each day, bringing homework for her and trying to be a comforting shoulder to cry on, but she did not know the depth of the pain that Sam was going through so could only sit on the edge of the bed and watch her friend sink deeper into depression. Sam shook the thought from her head; she already had too much guilt on her mind and needed to straighten out her thoughts before she could think about Trish. It took her no time at all to search Trish's living room and she considered searching the girl's room and reconsidered, it would be an invasion of the girl's privacy to barge in unannounced and search her belongings so turned around and headed back up the stairs to the kitchen where Diana slowly hung up the phone. "Did they have it?" Sam inquired, already knowing the answer from the long expression upon the woman's face. Diana shook her head, "I'm sorry, they said they cleaned your room and there wasn't anything of your belonging there." Sam shook her head in frustration, "It has to be here somewhere." She rushed back up the stairs to her bedroom to search her belongings once again. After several through searches she finally collapsed on her bed and let out a tired sob. Star was really gone and her only connection to the girl had disappeared along with the girl. She knew deep in her heart that she would not find the toy for Star was carrying it a year later. She was certain that it was the same Meephit and there was no doubt about it, but Star did not get the toy until the day before her birthday, so that would mean it was on its way to Star right now. The fates were playing their game and Sam felt hopeless against their powers. She rolled over in her bed again and held a pillow tight in her arms, allowing her misery to finally take hold of her. ***** To be Continued . . .
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