“The Marriage of Naja Elapidae: brute of a bride!”
Naja Elapidae was sound asleep in her room when she was thrown out of her bed onto the cold, merciless floor, without the slightest bit of warning to alert her. After rubbing her sore nose and grumbling incoherently, she climbed to her feet— and was tossed again as the ship bucked and rolled. Because nothing moves for no reason, Naja went through the catalogue of what could possibly be causing this ship of fools to jerk around like that— anything from pilot drunkenness to alien attack; the floor was wide open for possibility. Of course, these sorts of things are usually caused by the last thing people expect, and this time it was no exception.
“What the hell is going on?!” she screeched, tumbling into the main hallway. Everyone else was awake and fastened into their restraints, except for Rachel, who was floating dizzily in the air.
“There she is!” Fuuka screamed. “It’s completely your fault we’re under attack like this, Naja! That ship is saying it’s from your home world!”
“What ship?! What’s going on?! Damn it, somebody tell me!”
“A convoy from the Elshyrin world Jelrin discovered our location and has begun firing sonic disruptors,” Herut announced flatly. “In a matter of moments, we will be completely paralyzed and under their mercy. I suggest we send out Rachel for negotiations…not that anyone would listen to me.”
“Oh, shit,” Naja whispered, her copper scales turning chalky. “Oh sweet tap-dancing shit on a mouse. It’s them. They’re here. It’s time. Oh, gods, my time is over!”
And then, despite everything that had happened so far, came the most bizarre sight yet:
Naja started to bawl.
“I don’t wanna go hoooome!” she yelled. “I don’t wanna get marrieeeeeeed! How did they find me all the way out heeeeere? Why are they going through all this just so I can sufferrrrr? Can’t they leave me alooooone? Somebody help meeeeeeee!”
“Goodness gracious, woman, get a hold of yourself!” Allegra grimaced.
“Honestly, you’d think they were about to give you the plague,” Valti sighed. Riene at least appeared sympathetic.
“Oh come on, don’t be so hard on her. I know exactly what she’s feeling right now.” The Italian looked at Naja with renewed love and understanding; she unbuckled herself and reached out to hold her hands. “Are you saying that that’s your family out there, and they tracked you down so you could honor a wedding arrangement they made?”
“Mm-hmm,” she sniveled. Riene sighed.
“I see. They’re taking the phrase ‘shotgun wedding’ to a whole new extreme. And I thought my folks were bad.” She hugged the sobbing Elshyrin, but there was nothing anybody could do. Amy had been knocked out cold from the assault and could not issue Rachel any orders— not that she would’ve done it anyway— and soon the Dauntless was, as predicted, completely paralyzed and under the mercy of an impatient Elshyrin family.
“Oh, kami-sama, please swiftly take this humble servant into your loving arms,” Fuuka whispered. “I think I’d rather die than go to a world full of those filthy beasts.”
“You and me both,” Naja sighed.
……
While the ladies of the Dauntless were spared the wrath of their captors, poor Naja was shot with paralyzing agents the moment they were boarded by the Elshyrin envoy, and so was safely kept from performing any harm until she came to the surface. Upon arrival, she was roughly broken away from her slumber by several slaps to the face and a vile swill that smelled like raw sewage (the taste, thankfully, was more bearable). The first thing she noticed was the burden of heat pressing down on her, sweltering searing fire and humidity soaking the body with the dampness of sweat, parching the throat, stealing the breath away. Ah, home. Jelrin was a lush, tropical planet with a stifling temperature, perfectly suited for its inhabitants. The planet did not tilt on its axis and so all of its seasons were constant, and since the Elshyrin abhor the cold, they had long ago amassed around the equator, especially their oceans.
Once she was over the initial shock of the incredible heat, Naja next observed her people, peering through a window in the room she had ended up in. Some were what was commonly known as Lamias, creatures that were human from the waist up and serpentine from the waist down; they crawled on their bellies and seemed less fierce than the sort she belonged to. But the majority walked on two legs and glistened with snaky slickness: green, copper, brown, red, white, yellow, black, orange; they were an incredibly beautiful and diverse people.
But certainly not the kind you’d want to be friends with. “O disgraceful and ungrateful son’s bride, what treachery has my family conceived that you treat it with such disrespect? Time and again you have refused to submit to your destiny, even going so far as to deliberately throw yourself out into the furthest reaches of space! I can only pray that your tenure with that vessel we found you hiding in hammered some humility into that dense skull of yours. I will advise our senators to reconsider the rite of passage our young must attend to: it needs to be stricter in order to discourage rebellious upstarts such as yourself!”
“Hello, Lord Orphilis,” Naja moaned wearily. The man addressing her was none other than her fiancé’s father, one of the wealthiest and most powerful Elshyrin on the planet, who controlled nearly half of Jelrin’s mining operations.
“Hello yourself, Sergeant First-Class! Dare I hope you’ve finally come to your senses at last and are prepared to marry my son?”
“I’d rather drink ditch water, my lord,” she spat. Orphilis frowned.
“That and more can be arranged, Miss Elapidae. Bear in mind, before you say anything that will reap further punishment, it is only through the friendship your admirable father and I share that you have not had your limbs hacked off, and dragged to the ceremony still bleeding! My son, damn his peculiar fashion, is a cunning and venerable young man. I do not always agree with the courses of actions he takes, but as he is my only heir, and it would please me if our two families were joined in union, the least you could do is obey my wishes!”
“HA!! Why not tear me limb from limb now and put me outta my misery?” Orphilis struck her with the back of his hand, which was as hard and firm as a frying pan, and wrapped something cumbersome around her ankles: a chain to keep her from running.
“It seems I am wasting my time, and my breath. Traveling has made you more impudent than before. Hopefully a few days in this cell, without food or drink, will cool your head. The ceremony will begin by the time you are released. Do come to your senses sooner than that.” He left her with a huff; she rubbed her cheek and pulled at the chains, but it was a useless gesture. They were heavy, thick, and the more she struggled, the deeper they cut into her skin. Naja contemplated biting her feet off and crawling out— they’d grow back eventually, so what did it matter?— but the chains suddenly gave her a sharp electrical shock which froze her for the better part of an hour. The shock set off again just as she recovered, leaving her no opening for escape.
Feeling powerless was not something Naja Elapidae was used to.
She began to weep.
With no food, no water, no rest— the bed she was given was a slab of rock— and no word from her companions, Naja began to despair for her fate. A visitor dropped in on her while she groaned and tried to raise her spirits: a male Elshyrin, green as sin but amazingly beautiful, as beautiful as she was. It was her groom-to-be, Sels'eo Orphilis. She greeted him with open hostility, and were it not for her shackles and her weariness, she certainly would’ve broken free to slay him.
“I had no idea you were being treated so poorly,” he said, coming close but not close enough to be touched. “Ah— forgive me, I ought to have come sooner. It seems you were put into lodgings ill-suiting members of the Elapidae family. Are you so adamantly against our marriage, Naja? Is it really worth putting yourself through all this trouble? I swear I can be a good and loving husband. You shall have all the riches and positions my family can offer, and there is nothing you will ever be in need for. At the very least, please come with me while you reconsider; I shall relocate you to the finest villa I have to offer.” He smiled and even bowed before approaching, but she lashed out at him, brushing her clawed fingers against his hand before the electric shock silenced her.
“Gracious, are you all right?!” he blurted without thinking.
“Of course I’m not all right, you asshole!” she snapped, somehow managing to recover from her punishment earlier than usual. It was the rage and hopelessness; it gave her great strength. “I’m tied to a fucking death-collar here! It was your own father that put this on me, so don’t pretend to play nice or anything!!”
“I swear, I had nothing to do with this. His methods are not my own.”
“I know that well enough,” she grumbled. “The egg rolled pretty far away from the nest, I’ll say that much. Just get me outta here, all right? I don’t like that ship of fools, but it’s a helluva lot better than you!!”
“What do you find so offensive about me, Naja?” Sels’eo asked, feeling hurt. She glared at him, thinking he had just asked the stupidest question ever.
“Where should I start? Let’s see… First of all, you’re not exactly up to the evolutionary code here. I mean, you’re so…nice that it’s icky. You’ve never pulled a coup, stabbed someone in the back, blackmailed anyone, sent an innocent person to prison for your own gain, or anything else that we’re supposed to be doing here. Second of all, all this affection of yours just…makes my scales crawl. It’s like every time you so much as smile at me, it feels like I have to shed to clean myself off. Third, you basically want me to stay chained to the kitchen stove and pop out eggs on command, which is something that ain’t happening, pal. But the fourth and most offensive by far is that fucking male egotistical bullshit you’re spewing about keeping me locked up away from my gods-damned dreams!”
Sels’eo stared at her quizzically, as if he honestly didn’t expect this volcanic response from her. Truth be told, even if the two of them were not arranged to be married, he still would have insisted on it. Not every Elshyrin on the planet married for power or wealth; some, a rogue fraction looked at with disgust and contempt, honestly did marry for love, but they were few and far between. The only reason their kind was not completely stamped out, besides the connections they had and the names they boasted, was simple biology: not even the most hardcore tyrant could afford to let the global bloodline get too thick. That had happened before and it nearly cost the race its future.
“I know I’m a heretic, Naja; it’s what I chose,” he said defensively. “Father and mother may have raised me according to standards, but I wanted something better. I wanted to see if a man like me could succeed, without resorting to…the common practice. I won’t make any excuses in that regard. I also can’t help but love you; you’re too strong and proud to dislike.”
“True, but I still ain’t marrying you, buster.”
“It’s a wife’s duty to bear young,” he replied gently. “It’s the destiny of all women to one day become mothers. There are very few who can escape their fate.”
“Try saying that to my friends on the Dauntless,” she muttered.
“Not over the long term, at any rate. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to repopulate, and I promise I won’t raise all our children to behave like me. As for wanting to keep you home, you do realize your military term ended, and you were given a dishonorable discharge. Where do you think a person with that record could go to serve? No branch of any armed forces will take you in, Naja, so you had best give up that dream. Your place is on Jelrin anyway; I won’t force you to stay in the kitchen.”
“But I’ll still be here,” she grumbled with a gesture. Sels’eo placed her chin in his palm and raised her face up to kiss her, but she bit down on his tongue and struck him.
“Would that really be so bad?!” he sputtered. “You belong here, with your own kind! I have nothing against you having other friends, but they’re not Elshyrin, Naja. As different as I am, I’m still closer to you than they are! You can’t deny that.”
“No, but I sure would like to,” she snarled. He sighed and reached for her; she hissed and bared her fangs.
“You’re coming to my villa whether you like it or not. Regardless of how you feel, you don’t deserve to be stuck in this dump. Maybe after you see how good I can be, you’ll change your mind. I’m sorry, but I want to be your husband. I don’t know why you feel like you need to keep running out on me.” He moved to the chain and started to loosen it, and Naja prepared for her chance.
“If you free me, Sels’eo, I will kill you. That will be the end of it.”
“The Admiral and my father would still find someone else for you to marry,” he said nonchalantly. “But I’ve waited too long to miss out on this now. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to put you to sleep.”
“HA! Fat chance, dick-head! What, are you gonna slip me a mickey or someth— ”
KER-CLANG!! Sels’eo knocked her out cold and Naja’s world became utter darkness.
……
Three hours later, Naja was still nursing her sore head as bride’s maids fluttered around her, preparing her for the ceremony. They gently clawed over her body to pry away loose scales, dabbled her with the finest perfumes (bought by the in-laws, no less), crowned her with a ring of flowers, filed her nails, and tailored and retailored her ceremonial robes. All the while she was being preened and pampered, Naja tried to think which offense was more vulgar: her marriage, all the trouble these people were willing to go through for it, or that none of her family was there to see it. Admiral Kluor and Senior Diplomat Aashirin were away on a meeting regarding the galactic alliance, perhaps speaking with Aseria’s itinerate father. Naja was glad they weren’t here to gawk or puff out their chests, but really now! She might have hated all of this but at least her parents could be there.
The only good thing about this so far was how incredible those robes made her look. She could say what she wanted to about her future in-laws, but they spared no expense here. The only better place to find garments like these would be in the Prime Minister’s house. Even so, it didn’t cloak her despair, or hide her misery. Naja would have to face facts that there was no escaping this: soon she would be the unwilling wife of a spineless, gentle, soft-hearted do-gooder, about the worst fate any Elshyrin could ask for. Naja thought about her companions as she looked at herself in the mirror, and couldn’t help but shed a tear. They were all idiots, of course, hardly any of them worth the dust she cast aside…but they were better than this. Because of Jelrin’s laws concerning foreigners— they were almost always executed on sight— they wouldn’t even be able to visit. It would take a miracle and more for her to escape now.
Naja was stabbed quite painfully in the arm as she tumbled onto a protruding pin one of her fussy maids was holding, and she screeched and struck her hard enough to break bone. It wasn’t her fault; the ground was shaking and shouts could be heard from outside. Taking advantage of the distraction, Naja yanked the pin out and fought her way through to see what the commotion was. Everybody was too busy rushing to notice one runaway bride: the Jelrin elite guard was out in full force, throwing themselves at what seemed to be a large ship and a battalion of females that were blessedly familiar. Naja’s cold serpentine heart actually skipped a beat.
“Snakes, snakes, everywhere snakes!!” Fuuka screamed. Kate, Lillianne, Aseria, Athena, Mink, Sharyn, and Valti were leading the charge, plowing through Elshyrin left and right. Eve and Allegra were in the rear, taking potshots with dummy ammunition; Yenae and Alala were slinking through the crowd, taking down Elshyrin snipers and bowmen; in the middle was Amy Miracle, waving her crutch around wildly as Lyara supported her.
“Fall back! Rachel, give them a blizzard!”
“No problem!” Naja winced and jumped back to avoid the icy blast. This was a phenomenon never before seen on Jelrin, and dozens, perhaps hundred of her kinfolk fell to the ground, shivering uncontrollably. A shock force arrived just in time to even the odds.
“Don’t spare any of them! Fire!”
“Did someone say ‘fire’?!” Kyrie squealed. She threw a flask and struck a match, causing an impenetrable wall of fire to rise up. The Elshyrin yelled and retreated; meanwhile, the women of the Dauntless pressed on. Naja raced to the front of the chapel to greet them, but was stopped by two large, heavily-armored Elshyrin. They pinned her to the wall and put a knife to her throat.
“Behave yourself, Lady Elapidae, if only for today! They’ll be dead soon and you’ll be married. Why don’t you give up and accept that?”
“Fuck you jackasses!” she roared. The door to the chapel suddenly began to groan, and splintered under the pressure of Rachel banging against it.
“Stop the wedding!” Amy shouted. “Citizens of Jelrin, return our comrade to us! No woman should be forced into a marriage she doesn’t want!”
It took them a few seconds to realize the auditorium was almost completely empty.
“Uh, whoops,” Yenae said. “I think we’re a little early. So much for our grand entrance.”
“Great timing, jack-holes!” Naja shouted. “Come over here and get these losers offa me!”
“No thanks at all,” Athena sighed.
“I just want everyone to know that this is completely against my will!” Fuuka exclaimed. Eve shot the two guards with dummy blasts, knocking them cold, and Naja rushed towards her companions with open arms and colorful words.
“You ass-eating bitches were gonna leave me here I can’t believe what a lousy group of fucking morons I got stuck with why didn’t you pieces of shit come here sooner I was gonna kill myself I’ll bet you wanted that to happen you lame puss-eating spineless fools…”
“Good to see you too!” Aseria huffed. “And for your information, we put it to a vote. If you have to curse at anyone, do it to Valti. She’s the one that convinced us all to come save you.”
“Well, me and Miracle here,” Brignor squeaked humbly. “But now I think maybe we should get outta here.”
“Fuck you, Valti!! What the hell kinda plan you got for that, huh? There’s a squadron of ships stationed on our moon on orders to surround the planet if any outsiders set foot. Do ya think you can just break through there?”
“Oh.” Everyone suddenly turned pale; Naja crossed her arms and sighed wearily.
“Yeah, oh. Still, I’m grateful you guys came. I guess if I have to go down, I’d rather it be with a bunch of losers like you than that asshole of a fiancé of mine.”
“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about getting killed by the blockade,” said Teleah Acheron. She and her sister were wearing headphones, and had a radio with them. “Yeah, they should be arriving shortly.”
“Who?”
“The greater of two evils,” Kayleigh stated. “The reason we came when we did was because we wanted to time our rescue in accordance with a second invasion wave. Our radar picked up a convoy of unidentified ships closing in on Elshyrin space, and so we figured that if we got here before them, we could leave during the commotion. In short, the blockade will be too busy fighting their other enemies to worry about us.” Naja’s jaw almost fell to the floor as she stood stricken and awed.
“Are you making that up?!” she screeched. Teleah pointed to an alarm that had just gone off, smirking when an Elshyrin announced the arrival of unknown enemies. Naja felt like strangling them both for their smug behavior. “And what would you have done if there weren’t any enemies?”
“Probably send you a bridal endowment,” they smirked.
“Oh, WHATEVER!! Jeez!”
Shit, they’re as devious as I am! Maybe I’ve had them pegged wrong. Heh, I could get in bed with those two! I bet they’d made better lovers than anyone else on this fun-boat!
“Anyway, if that’s your plan, then we’d better get to it. I don’t care who these new guys think they are, but they’re gonna wish they were in Hell before the blockade gets finished with them.”
As the newly-reunited crew raced through the emptying streets of the Jelrin city, they heard a call for all available pilots and commanders to scramble to their ships and engage the enemy. Glancing at the sky had the girls seeing flashes of light, explosions, and falling chunks of debris as enemy and ally were shot down and destroyed in the atmosphere. The Acherons reported that the enemy numbered a hundred strong, but they were mostly small fighters, hardly large enough for one person. The biggest threat was the unknown dreadnought commanding and spawning them.
“Spawning?!” Naja blurted.
“Yes, spawning. The reports are saying that more fighters are coming from the mother ship. It’s safe to assume that they either have plenty of expendable soldiers…”
“Clones,” Teleah added.
“Or they’re Fog Ninjas.”
“Oh, great. So the blockade could be fighting indefinitely.”
“I doubt it, but it’ll give us more time. In ya go!” Naja shucked off her coronet and smeared her makeup off (but kept the robe), but before she could board, she heard a whiny voice calling out to her, and shuddered.
“Naja! Naja, hold on a minute! Why are you running away again? Please, just give up and marry me! You know I won’t stop until I make you my bride!”
“Grow up, Sels’eo!” she snarled, giving him a firm kick as he came close. “I don’t want to get married to anyone, EVER! I’d like to say it’s nothing personal, but…gods DAMN it, you’re a pussy! I mean, hell— Miracle here’s more ruthless than you! All you can do is bitch and moan and…and…throw poetry around! So get lost, and don’t follow me!!”
“I resent that remark,” Amy muttered as she fixed her glasses.
“Wait!” he called, but it was too late. The Dauntless was taking off and Naja was gone from his life once again. Sels’eo watched it lift off, but refused to give up, and raced to his personal spacecraft. Battle or no battle, refusal or no refusal, he wouldn’t give let go of the woman he loved— not now, not ever.
……
“Mmm, who would’ve thought that Naja’s fiancé was such a dish!” Valti purred.
“Eww, that’s gross,” Fuuka cringed. The six-armed woman sighed dreamily.
“What a waste of a beautiful man, too! To think he’s supposed to marry our vile little Elshyrin. Oh well…”
“Can it!” Naja screamed, swinging and missing her.
“We’ve got more important things to worry about,” said Miracle. “Our enemies are still out there and they’re fighting tooth and nail. I don’t know if the Dauntless can get away without serious damage.”
“Who’s getting away?!” Naja exclaimed. “I’m not gonna sit on my ass and watch a group of smoke monsters attack my Jelrin! We’re gonna take the fight to them and blow that mother ship to kingdom come!”
“Golly, ain’t you a puzzle and a riddle wrapped up in a mystery!” Allegra said. “One minute yer wrigglin’ and rasslin’ to get away, and the next ya wanna save everybody!”
“I have my pride, too,” she announced darkly. “It’s not Jelrin I hate, just my idiot fiancé. Who among you would turn their back on their home world?” Kate knew she would, but she didn’t want to speak up and ruin the moment; nobody else said anything, either. “Then it’s decided. Okay, I’m taking command! Eve, Allegra, Kyrie, I want you on the guns! Herut, Becky, Shana, you’ll be maintenance. Kate, Sharyn, Lil, you’re ammo transport. Acherons, Aseria, you’re our pilots. Mink, bitch-meat, you’re on sick bay. Yenae, you and Alala will supervise the smaller groups. Rachel, I need you defending us, and don’t you dare say no, Miracle! The rest of you, tie down everything that could come loose, close all the doors we don’t need, and keep the fire extinguishers ready. If these guys are as easy in space as they are on the ground, we’ll be done in no time!”
“Who made you boss?” Lyara snorted.
“Do as she says!” Amy shouted. The elf paled.
“Yes ma’am.” Everyone scrambled to their stations, and for the first time in a very long while, Naja could stick her chin out and be proud. She finally had a crew again.
The battle begun as a horde of small enemy fighters swarmed their way. Naja shouted, “Here they come!”; Allegra and Kyrie dusted off seven in a large burst. The Dauntless pressed forward, sometimes swerving, sometimes leaping and twirling through space, sometimes taking impact from suicidal foes. It felt like asteroids were crashing against the hull as the enemies splashed against them— and why not, they were easily replaced— even the ship’s thick armor plating wouldn’t stand up under that kind of attack. Eve squeezed one of her eyes shut and grinned as she emptied her first salvo, blasting fifteen fighters into space particles.
“HA!” Naja screamed. “That was nothing!!” Aseria increased thrust and the Dauntless plowed through thick walls of fighters on its way to the mother ship. Elshyrin battle cruisers belched flame and showers of lasers, wiping clean scores of fighters; more came to replace the fallen, congesting the darkness with their staggering numbers. The Dauntless picked uyp speed and fired again, taking out dozens. Rachel, flying outside the ship’s barrier, waved her arm and swept their numbers away like dust, throwing some towards the planet where they careened to the surface or were scorched upon entry.
“These peons aren’t worth my time,” Naja proclaimed theatrically. “Full speed to the mother ship! We’ll engage her in single combat!”
“Are you sure about that?” Alala said. “I mean, take a look! It’s gotta be at least five times bigger— ”
“All the better! It’s the Elshyrin law to always challenge those stronger than you!”
“We’re not Elshyrin, you know,” she muttered. The Dauntless charged regardless of her populace; it swept through the fighters and stared down the enormous mother ship across the vastness of space. It was already engaging several Elshyrin units, but the battle was fairly one-sided: several ally vessels were already going down, and many more were being bombarded. Naja commanded that a line be opened so she could teach “those novice bastards” a lesson.
“Move outta the way! This here’s my prey! I’m going to be the one to blow him apart!”
“Who the hell is this?” they demanded sharply. “Unidentified vessel, stand down and give us your registration number! You are in violation of Elshyrin space and must— ”
“OH, SHOVE IT UP YOUR SCALY ASS!!!” She commanded her gunners to go full blast; a wall of fire and destruction shot out, striking ally and enemy both. Naja even laughed out loud as the mother ship focused all its attention on the Dauntless and launched sonic disrupters.
“We’ve got unfriendly fire at port side,” Yenae warned.
“Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!”
“Are we gonna ram it?!” she balked.
“Why not?!” Naja exclaimed. “The Dauntless is coated with a special metal, right? Any officer worth her salt could recognize that ship for what it’s made of! We’ll tear through them like a plastic wrapper!”
“You’d better not!” Alala screamed to the pilots. Fortunately, not even the Acheron sisters were that cavalier.
“There’s more to life than glory, Naja. Right now we have to focus on those disruptors.”
“So? Blast them outta the sky!”
“No effect!” Allegra called from the gun ports. “They ain’t normal SD shots, that’s for sure!”
“Evasive action!”
“What do you think we’ve been trying to do all this time?!” Aseria spat. “They act like guided missiles; we can’t evade. They’re going to have to hit something, and unless those fighters decide to go suicidal again, it looks like it’s going to be us!” Naja gnashed her teeth in frustration. She was close enough now to taste victory on her forked tongue— why did she have to be delayed like this?
“Obstacles everywhere,” she snarled. To make matters worse, a small Elshyrin cruiser was spotted approaching them, hailing them with a frequency Naja had hoped she would never hear.
“Naja! What in the name of the gods… You’re always getting into trouble, aren’t you my love?”
“Aww, it’s prince charming!” Valti squealed. Naja swung again and missed.
“Sels’eo, this is not the time or the place! Why don’t you just get yourself blown up or someth— ” Suddenly, Naja got the most brilliant idea, something so vile and sinister that she couldn’t help but grin. Everyone around her froze solid as she suddenly yelled out, “Aaah, help me, Sels’eo! They shot sonic disruptors at us! If we can’t escape, we’ll be dead meat out here! Please, do something!”
“I’m coming!!” he shouted without the slightest bit of hesitation. His vessel intercepted the destructive bombs and was instantly crippled; the poor fool floated helplessly through space, proclaiming his love, as Naja chuckled darkly.
“Sucker.”
“One less thing to worry about,” the Acherons sighed. “Now all that’s left is the main ship. If we are going to charge that thing, we’ll do it carefully. No sense getting everyone onboard killed.”
“You underestimate my ship!” she crowed, completely intoxicated with the lust of the conquest. “After all, she won third place in the Centanian Space Race, and she’s been halfway around the galaxy and back with barely a scratch! One silly little Fog Ninja ship isn’t going to scare her!”
“It’s not your ship, it’s Amy’s!” Alala screamed.
“Actually, it’s on loan from the other galaxy,” Miracle groaned. She had an impressive green glow on her skin and looked ready to lose her lunch. Kay and Tee had to break all their old records just to keep from being bombarded by the waves of fighters surging from the mother ship. Their firepower was negligible, but a kamikaze attack really wounded the Dauntless in the long run; the ship looked as crippled and sick as its pigtailed owner.
“Details, details,” Naja waved dismissively. Sharyn suddenly ran up from the lower decks, desperate and out of breath.
“Our munitions are dwindling! Ere a quarter hour’s passed, we’ll be naught but fish in a barrel!”
“Damn it, now’s not the time for poetry, greenie!”
“She means we ain’t got nothing to shoot them with!” Yenae spat. Naja looked as unconcerned as ever, no surprises there, and laughed dismissively.
“So what? I told you to ram this sucker! Tell Kyrie to move to the engine room and run us full blast! Shields at maximum on the port side! Miracle, you tell Rachel to strengthen the hull! I dunno, solder some of that debris on it or something— whatever works!”
“Art thou intent on venturing this course of action? Art thou prepared for the consequences?”
“Whatever Shakespeare said, tell her to shut up and get outta here! We’re punching right through that mother-fucker and that’s my final decision!” As everyone stood around petrified with fear, Amy recovered from her nausea a little and gave them a firm stare.
“It’s the best course of action I can think of. Rachel, go ahead and gather all the space-debris you can, and shape it into a drill, or a wedge, or something we can use to pierce through the enemy mother ship, then fuse it to the nose. Got that?”
“Yes, Master!” The sprightly genie vanished in a cloud of smoke, and as the Dauntless careened towards their foe, whether for victory or oblivion, the crew prayed that they would all make it out safe. Meanwhile, Naja gave Amy a smirk of approval, to which the older woman tittered nervously.
“You know, you’d make a pretty decent subordinate for me.”
“Oh no, not with this foot. But I could definitely see you as a commander.” Naja turned around and swelled with pride. She didn’t budge an inch as a mechanical construction began to form on the nose of the Dauntless, or when it ran full speed at the mother ship, or when enemy fighters surrounded them, or when it pierced through like a bullet, spreading destruction and havoc as it passed, scraped and dented and torn with the beautiful scars of victory against all odds.
“Time to finish the job!” Naja proclaimed with a wave of her arm. “All guns fire! Release a ballast of explosives! Let’s deliver a present they’ll never forget!!” She squinted as her orders were carried out; the enemy vessel was alit in a conflagration. Naja Elapidae actually wept for joy as the Dauntless emerged out the other end, a crumpled mass of its former self, staggering away from its big fat kill with the halo of triumph glowing around it.
……
Naja was strangely quiet as the Dauntless resumed its journey to Epitaph. One would think that after saving her home world, being reinstated in the military (and being promoted to Captain, no less), forgiven for her past offenses, applauded for her wit and guile, AND freed from any marital obligations to “that male who brings shame to our race”, she’d be a lot happier, or at least more expressive. Naja had everything she could ever want now…but perhaps having it all wasn’t as grand as everyone supposes. After all, having a desire can be a wonderful thing, despite what the religious will say, and when those desires become real, what should be wanting? When a person no longer desires, what is there left for them to accomplish? Naja no longer had anything to wish for.
“I guess it’s back to the old grind,” she sighed. She turned around and tried to smile in spite of her feelings. As usual, the Dauntless was being overrun by chaos, insanity, and a plethora of emotions and opinions, all crashing together in what could either be the ultimate wreck or the most unexpected sanctuary— in short, same old, same old.
“That’s okay,” she said contentedly, returning to her meditation, “I suppose.”
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Preview of next chapter
Rachel: Well, that was…um, enlightening! And speaking of things that are bright, are we in for a glaring time in the next chapter! We might arrive on Epitaph, but the focus changes to all the secondary characters! How dull is that? Still, I guess it’s all right if we get back to these people from time to time, if only to remind everyone they still exist! There’s a lot of boring things going on in the next installment, but hang in there, okay? It’s the final chapter of the volume, “The Galactic Alliance: deus ex machina”! I don’t know about you, but I hope we get back to some action, adventure, and good old-fashioned lesbian sex!
Amy: Um…right.
Rachel: Wheeeee!!!
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