Downfall I always used to like the sunrise. Sometimes, when I was all alone and I woke up before anyone else, I would go outside and look at the sky, waiting for the sun to peek up from the horizon, and watch as the sky turned from black to gray, then to pink and purple, and finally a shy, brief white before a brilliant blue overcame it. It was breathtaking every time, especially if the moon was still out. The sunrise I watched on that day, however, was gloomy and cold, much like the rough surface of the ground I had slept on. My body was weary and my emotions were ragged as I slept, but no solace came from sleep, nor from the sunrise I watched. "I'm going to get some food," said my traveling companion, her voice even. "Please don't wander too far from the campsite." "Kay." My back was to her as I huddled in the cool dawn air, probably the first time I didn't want to look at her. What a day yesterday had been! We had been on the move for hours, and only stopped to sleep, taking dark, winding paths across great swaths of forest. All the time my mind ached, both from the trauma I had placed upon it and the anguish I had witnessed. Twenty-four hours ago, I was just a girl—a very unusual girl, granted, but a girl nonetheless—living with my friends, weathering yet another dreary, tense day in the only real home I have known. Everything changed so quickly. And now, in this morning, here I was: a fugitive, running from some unknown threat, being led by a woman I barely knew, my body and mind still reeling from the pain...and my stomach ill with worry. My friends, were they dead or alive? Had any of them survived that attack? Were they looking for me, or were they still giving me time to run away? My companion said that my friends sacrificed themselves for me, but what does that mean? I'm pretty sure that's not the case. After all, I don't even know who I am, so how could they? Sanaa came back quickly, two hares and several nuts in a sack. I watched as she taught me how to skin and cook the rabbits—really quite a mess, but I was too hungry to care—and then delicately ate the small meal. It was barely enough to ward off my hunger for a few more minutes, but there was no time to dawdle, she said. We had to keep moving. I demanded to know why, and even told her I wouldn't take another step until I had some answers. She told me to trust her, pleading with large brown eyes. I found it difficult in spite of my earlier infatuation. We wandered for hours, but we no longer ran at least. Sanaa explained that as soon as we got out of the woods, she would start telling me things, but I was impatient and they seemed to go on forever. I have no idea how I even got into the middle of them, into the ranks of the Lost, or how I was able to go in and out to civilization so quickly. Perhaps some magic was over the place, or the mysterious Mr. White enabled fantastic transportation. Whatever it was, it wasn't working now. I had to spend two more nights in those lonely groves, with only a silent woman as my companion. "Sanaa," I said to her the second night, "can you at least tell me some things about yourself? I've been wanting to know ever since I saw you at the tournament." "Well, our stories are intertwined, if you can believe it," she said. "If I told you anything about myself, I'd essentially be telling you your story as well." "I don't get it." "You will soon. We're still not safe. There are spies all over the place, and they're just waiting for me to slip up." "Spies?" I looked around and even stretched my sixth sense, but could only pick up animal life-forms. Sanaa nodded gravely. "One among their number controls the birds and beasts of the field," she said. "They can talk to him, give him information, scout ahead. They are watching us even now. I'm not comfortable telling you anything until we're well away from them—preferably in some hotel room." "Do you know of any around here?" "Yes, but I cannot say where. I apologize, but—" "I know, I know. So you can say nothing?" "Only that our relationship runs deeper than you know," she said. "And...I know that because ever since I met you at the tournament, I've been doing some investigation. I came across many horrifying pieces of information in my search—things that connect both of us together. I learned a lot about you, and even myself—things I didn't know even existed." "And you can't say anything." "I'm partially doing this to brace you," she warned. "I myself flew into a frenzy when I learned it all. You ought to be given some time at least." I drew my legs up to my chest and huddled there in the cool night, reasoning that it might be good that I didn't know. Things sounded bad from what she was saying. The third day we were in the woods, we came across a large body of water, though in retrospect I think it was more pond than lake. I was glad of it, because I hadn't had a bath since I left the compound, and I felt grungy for it. I was actually going to ask permission for a private bath when Sanaa stripped off her clothes, one by one, and laid them out on the ground. She was naked before me, and all I could do was stare. She turned around, sensing my bashfulness, and gestured. "You should probably get cleaned while you can. We have a long road ahead of us." "Uh...you mean here?" "Where else?" "Um...yeah, it's just that..." "Marissa," she exclaimed, letting a half-smile out, "don't tell me this is the first time you've seen another woman naked before." I blushed fiercely—she was now facing me directly, exposing everything without shame—and her smile grew. She pointed to her head and warned, "You'd better be careful what you think. I caught glimpses of your thoughts. Concentrate too hard on something and people can eavesdrop." "Uh, sorry!" I managed. I nearly had forgotten about my psychic powers and the way it could affect others. Sanaa submerged herself as far as her waist, then dipped down until she was completely under and splashed back up, sending water scatter everywhere. Reluctantly, I undressed as well, and piled my clothes neatly to hers. She crossed her arms and examined me with a neutral stare. "You've got a good body. You should hurry; that pale skin of yours will burn easy in this sun." "Yeah..." I'm not a true albino, just a little light in the shade. Sanaa, as opposed to me, was breathtaking, her skin golden-brown like a loaf of fresh warm bread from the oven. Her body was firm and strong—I tried so hard not to dwell on any feature—her hair maroon, braided and tied in knots. And the way the water rolled down her curvy chest... "Marissa," she chided. "You're thinking naughty thoughts again." "Oh—sorry!" I blurted. She grinned, wide and beautiful, and turned around so her naked back was facing me. I then noticed how wonderfully long and flexible her limbs were, especially her fingers, and how easily she could wash her own back. My arms weren't anything like that. I wondered if she would mind washing my back. As if she had "overheard" my thoughts again, Sanaa dipped down into the water, rose slowly, and scrubbed her reddish-brown hair. I was on my own. I decided to test the limits of my power. I closed my eyes and focused, pulling and pushing on the tiny molecules of hydrogen and oxygen floating around my body. The water could be controlled and manipulated with the right amount of coercion, and if the mind was calm enough. In that cool morning air, I naked with this beautiful work of art, I found my powers at a new maximum. I stood perfectly still and asked the waters to rise, and with a simple tug, two great globes of liquid split from the pond and floated before me. My eyes still closed, more and more orbs came following, until my feet touched the bare dry bed of the pond, a depression of emptiness all around me. The water had completely risen, forming a bowl, I in the center—and then I myself rose into the air, drifting through the globes, to Sanaa's silent amazement. The orbs started spinning and revolving, dancing in perfect orbits around my body. They crept up and hugged my skin, drip and drop alike; I was submerged soon, all but my nose enveloped in a liquid cocoon, my mind racing yet still calm, my breath coming in and out peacefully as the water washed me, high in the sky. I soon released it, and descended back to the pond, where I felt the painful dizziness that my power always afforded. I lurched to land and fainted. ...... I woke up just as the sun was ready to slip into the horizon again after a long day of flying across our sky. I was covered with blankets, and a fire had been started. I smiled warmly, and noticed that Sanaa was gone, though not for long. I later learned that the pond we had bathed in was a long way off, and I had been carried here by my companion all the rest of the day. It was she who dressed me crudely, and cared for me, and set me down when it was time to rest. She came to me with some roasted bird she had cooked, and offered it. I had never tasted a better meal. "Thank you," I whispered. She smiled and sat down next to me, eating quietly. I finished before her. "Thanks for everything," I elaborated. She was humble. "I mean to keep you alive, Marissa. You deserve to know everything there is. However, once you learn the truth about yourself, what you do with it will be up to you." "And what about you?" "I...unfortunately do not know what to do. I guess if neither of us has anything to do, we could probably eke out a living together." "So you have no plans?" "All I mean to do is get you to safety and tell you about yourself. I was under the impression you would know what to do afterwards." "Sorry," I admitted, "but I don't have any ideas. I mainly want to go back and see if my friends are all right." "And if you do, and they are?" A pause. "I'd like to find all my friends. After that...perhaps we can do some real good in this world." "So that will be your life?" I nodded. "Why, is there something wrong with that?" She gave a forlorn smile. "Doing good...is the noblest thing anyone could do. If you manage to keep your sanity and work for the people, you will be far greater than anyone intended you to be. And I may yet fight by your side." I smiled cheerfully. "I'd like that." She said nothing and threw the bones away; I tossed mine as well. Sanaa buried herself in one of my blankets and sighed, resting her body against mine. I couldn't help but blush, for I had never felt such close contact, and this person was... "Marissa," she whispered. I grunted. "Sometimes when I'm around you, I get very frightened and insecure. But then I remember we share a common bond, and I feel a little better. Still. I have been hurt deeply in the past, and many scars take ages to heal. You have been a good friend to me in the few brief days I've known you, and I want to apologize if I ever made you feel bad, or gave you the cold shoulder. I was just trying to sort things out." "It's okay," I assured her, and dared to put my arm around her. I felt warmth and love as she snuggled close, rested her head on my shoulder, and whispered herself to sleep. "Marissa...good night." "Night, Sanaa." She was a different person when we woke, cold and quick, like she usually was. I was nearly used to it and followed her orders; we were thankfully out of the forest at long last by that afternoon. I was surprised to see a small town at the very outskirts of the woods, and even more surprised to find the hotel Sanaa mentioned. Looking back, I could see the greenery going on forever, dipping and curling with the hills, and even going up into a great mountain. I had never seen this part of the world before in my life. We checked into the hotel first and took turns in the shower. A small part of me wondered if I could share one with Sanaa, but no, we weren't like that. I didn't think we ever would be like that. She let me take one first anyway, and scouted around for supplies. I had a nice lunch once I got out (now this we shared), and she took hers after the food was gone. She promised she would tell me everything once she was out and about; I whiled away the time in front of the television. I learned about an attack on a temple owned by a familiar-sounding group of people much like the Lost—the Battle Diva Enforcement team—and was shaken to learn that Merry's girlfriend Sally had been among those who survived the attack. I wanted to change the channel, maybe look at something more relaxing, but the next program hooked me. It was an advertisement for a place called MERCS, a name that somehow rang a familiar bell for me. A sliver of something, a foggy clue, came up as I watched the program... Eleven thirty-eight is doing well. Has the serum affected her in any new way? ...Showing some psychic abilities...recently bent an iron bar... Eleven thirty-nine going... ...Mission accomplished over in... ...Killed fourteen... Can't we hurry up the process, please? As you can see... Doctor...speeding along as best...can't go too fast or... That's what the...are for, Sayonada. We can always make... Eleven thirty-eight should have...name. Outside...numbers don't... ...Should we call her? Name her after my dead niece... ...Creepy, isn't it? Rissa...Rissa... "Marissa?" I snapped out of my reverie. The advertisement had long since passed, and the channels had been rolled around to a golf network. I drew in a deep ragged breath and noticed Sanaa looking at me, beautiful and quiet, and actually concerned. I wiped my face with my palm and turned the television off. "Sorry. I just daydreamed for a second there." "Oh. Well, are you ready?" I sat there and thought about it. Wainright. But she doesn't have a name. Just a thing. Control her...mind is abnormal. Put...my laboratory. She'll make a fine addition. ...Possibility of escape. Which is... Nonsense. I can... We must study this one. ...Making your own army? Science is study. Sayonada seems to think so. You're a long way from your brother, doctor. Director...aichou will have...word with you. ...Serious, isn't it? "Marissa?" I squeezed my eyes shut. What was happening? "Are you there, Sanaa?" I asked, my voice frail. She sat down next to me. "Yes, I am." "Hold my hand." "What for?" "Please? I think I..." ...Tor! Doctor! You have to come see! These readings... Eleven thirty-nine is also showing... This is far beyond what we originally... And to think, all this from an experiment. ...Most useful yet. But there are side affects... It's to be expected. We can overlook them. And like you said... So just how many? Right now, only one is in perfect working order. We could... Transfer? But is...possible? I hope we never have to find out. This...beyond your...maguchi! ...Backing out? I don't think Director Taich... ...Insane! Do you think you're God? "Marissa!" I had been screaming. Sanaa asked my forgiveness and slapped me. I came to my senses. "Something is happening," I managed desperately. "Something's happening to my mind! All these images and voices...they're suddenly coming at me! What does it mean?" "What images? What voices?" I squeezed my eyes and my hand, effectively squeezing her hand as well. She had been holding on the whole time. "I think," I breathed, "I am recalling my past. ...Ah...AAAAAH!!!!" I screamed again, I blacked out, and all I could think of was... Marissa Wainright. You know, if you think about it, I could pass as your mother. Doctor, 1139 needs a name. I can no longer feign ignorance. Well, she is a beautiful work of art, is she not? Let's just call her... "Sanaa," I whispered, completely recalling the memory. She squeezed my hand. "I'm here, Marissa." "...Give me a day. I'm exhausted. My head hurts. Please, let me have a day to think about it." "...All right." ...... I don't think I needed that day to think about it. I believe I already knew, but...I wanted to be sure. We spent the day in secrecy, in quiet, Sanaa telling me few things about herself. I mostly talked about my life, paying particular attention to my friendship with people like Merry, Kailin, Namie, and Julie. I couldn't get those lost girls out of my mind, and what distractions the hotel afforded did little to help. Sanaa ended up learning more about me than she believed, but she still claimed to know more than I myself did. Night was interesting, though. As I stood with my faded blue pajamas, I watched as the mysterious woman who I had grown fond of began to remove her clothes, bit by bit, as she had when she bathed. I couldn't help but stare and gawk. She looked in my direction and raised an eyebrow. "What?" "Uh...you sleep that way?" "Yes, I usually sleep naked. Is that a problem?" "Um...I have my PJs." "I don't typically wear anything unless it's freezing," she said deadpan. She climbed into bed, totally without a thing on, and tossed around for awhile, trying to get a good position. There was only one bed in the whole room. I swallowed. "Uh...I can sleep on the floor." "Do what you like. Good night." I swallowed again. As I like, eh? I shakily unearthed the covers and crept beside her, daring not to touch her at all. The whole night through, though, I yearned to embrace her skin against mine, pale pink merging into beautiful gold-brown. I had a thousand dreams that night, and woke up screaming well before the sun. I wept and yelled until Sanaa quieted me. She hastily threw on a robe and flashed the lights. I knew everything now. ......... I was born in a test tube, my parents dead ages ago, their seeds preserved, along with the seeds of countless other couples. I was but one of two thousand, number 1138 to be exact—and Sanaa was number 1139, right after me. My powers came from the result of genetic manipulation, where the boundaries of human skill were tested in a terrifying grand experiment. Out of that two thousand, only a handful of projects survived the experiments, all of them turning out with incredibly advanced powers, each of them in their own right a "super-human". Unlike most of the others, who had already been alive and well into their years, I was grown directly from scratch, and no expense was spared once it was discovered my growth would yield great results. It would've taken a lifetime for my body to mature into a desired form, so a special set of genetic codes were wired into my system to make me mature rapidly until I reached about eighteen years old or so. In reality, though I have the body of a twenty year-old woman, I am just ten standard years old, and I may age further in the future. My memories had been wiped out to prevent all this knowledge from overloading my already-delicate mind, but the powers of my mental capacity went beyond the realm of science. As I had learned while watching television and suddenly remembering a few slivers of history, I could overcome those barriers and recall anything at will. I soon remembered those long days of torture, the burden of having survived when so many hundreds around me were dead, and later, I recalled being thrust into a lab for further experiments, which is, suffice to say, where I ended up until very recently. So, I was little more than a doll. I am a seraph, tainted by time I am the end result of forced evolution. Rogue force in this world, knowing I am not like Them Forced into life by the questions of Man. With naught but my skin as my own, I weep Surrounded by objects you others see common. Is this what you want, this terror of time? Have you worked all your days to bring this monster to life? I wait for my hour in this damned little cage Wanting nothing but peace, finding nothing but sorrow. It all made so much sense now. I had been lied to for so long. The people in that lab said that I was stricken with amnesia, but in reality they had afflicted me with the forgetting-disease. All this time I had some suspicions—I knew that I wasn't "normal" in a strict sense, but I never thought I would be so far removed from the verge of humanity. And so, faced with such knowledge, realized in my own time and not told by a mysterious onlooker, I had a mental breakdown and screamed until my voice was gone. I wept until I was out of tears. I groaned and keened until I was hoarse. I wanted to kill myself. Sanaa slapped me fiercely, bringing me back to my senses. "Don't say such things!" she spat. "You were given life, Marissa—now you have to deal with it, just like I do. We're the same, Marissa, you and I! I was with those experiments as well! You and I went through the same things together; that's why I said our lives are intertwined! I had the exact same reaction when I learned about my past, but I gave it time to sink in...and I was happy there were others like me, so I wouldn't bear these psychological wounds all on my own. You and I are exactly the same, Marissa." "...Oh, Sanaa..." I crashed into her arms, too weak to do anything. She held me close, her first true sign of affection towards me (or towards anyone, I learned later), and caress my white hair. "Don't you give up now," she stated. "Don't you dare give up. We both survived that hell and we managed to make something of our lives. And we found each other, Marissa. That meeting at the tournament was just coincidence, but how odd that our lives would forever be connected after that day—and before it, too." "I can't live with myself now!" I screamed. "I don't know what do to, or what to call myself! I'm just a...monster! I don't even know if I have a soul! Sanaa, if I die...what will happen? Will I just...stop? Do I have a soul? I'm so scared, I don't know what to do." "Steady yourself," she said firmly, looking me right in the eye. "Steady. You're strong, Marissa. You can do this. Give it time; I know you can overcome this. You and I both have a long road ahead of us; that's why I'm going to walk it with you, all the way." "You...you are?" She nodded, bringing her head close to mine, until I could smell her. My face erupted red as our foreheads touched. "You and I...we're almost like sisters. Two people created from nothing, destined for terrible things—but we broke free, both of us, and now we have to pay for our freedom. I've lived a terrible life since the day I was made, but my happiest moment was discovering you, Marissa. I...don't know what love is yet, because it frightens me to death every time I think about it, but I know...I definitely care for you. We're both the same. That's why I..." She couldn't go on. I whispered her name. She leaned in and gave me my first kiss, gentle and bittersweet. I wept. "Sanaa..." "Now," she said firmly, releasing me from her stare, "you know all of the truth. What will you do now, Marissa Wainright? What will you do now?" "I don't know," I said at length. "But I'm going to think of something." ---------- To be concluded... The hour of darkness is nigh. As Marissa's burden grows worse, she and Sanaa become closer with each passing moment. Love, however, is the least of their concerns, for the dreaded Kali has found a new place to haunt. Marissa learns of Kailin's untimely demise, and wages an all-out war against the goddess of death! But does even she stand a chance, or will her brief life be extinguished forever? When twilight falls, Rin and Kailin are given a second chance at life, but what horrible price do they have to pay? Chaos may not lead to order, and many questions may remain unanswered in the next chapter, "The Darkest Hour". Stay tuned!
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