Breaking Through the Writer's Block
The little office was badly cluttered, with piles of papers
scattered around on the desk and on a long table nearby. Several
books were in haphazard piles all around the room, a set of heavy
blinds covering up the second floor window so that she wouldn't be
distracted by the view outside.
"All right," the young woman strode inside, rubbing her
hands together with a determined expression, "I can do this." She
reached down beside the big desk, grabbing at something, then with a
grunt of effort she thumped it down on top of the desk.
The black typewriter was old, very old. There was no power
cord, no automatic winding, just big round keys, an ink filled
ribbon, and keys that you had to hammer down on to mark the paper.
For the past week she had been totally blocked, the Macintosh
sitting on the table nearby yielding nothing, so she hoped bringing
back an old friend might help.
It was an oddly satisfying sound, winding the sheet of paper
into the typewriter. She brushed her long black hair back from her
face and away from the keys, then scrambled around for an elastic
band. "Better safe than sorry," she muttered as she tied her hair
back, her old-fashioned glasses sliding down on her nose.
She pushed up her glasses again, her fingers flying with
remembered ease as she wrote, "Romance draft one" on one side,
tapping on the space key until she reached the other end to type her
name, "Rebecca Duthie."
"I can do this," Rebecca muttered to herself once again, and
began to type.
She began with describing the scene, a lush garden secluded
from the view of the traditional Victorian home. Roses bloom there,
a scent that fills the garden as two figures meet furtively among
the flowers. The two lovers seem to be opposites, one tall, dark
haired and boyish, while the other is shorter, and almost daintily
feminine.
The taller, boyish figure steps forward, enfolding the
shorter in her arms. "I love you," she crooned as her lover
swooned....
Rebecca stopped typing, almost feeling both figures turning
to look at her expectantly. "Too traditional," she sighed as she
pulled the sheet of paper out, wadded it up and then tossed it away.
She put another piece of paper in, took a short breath, and went
back to typing.
The halls were dark and claustrophobic as she inched along,
the heavy gun she carried rock steady in her hands. Sweat stained
the military uniform, blood marking the dark haired woman's face,
but she didn't care. The alien had her lover, and she would set her
free...
Rebecca paused, an odd look on her pretty face. "I really
hate bugs," she sighed and then pulled that sheet out too, tossing
it out just like the other one. She smiled to herself wryly, "Well,
at least I'm writing something again."
Fingers flying Rebecca sketched in the next scene. The
ship's bridge gleamed, the brown haired captain gazing out the
viewscreen intently at the planet that circled below them. The lift
to the bride hissed open, and the figure slinked across the bridge
to her side.
The officer's foil body-suit clung to her like a glove, her
eyes heavy lidded as the blonde gazed up at the taller Captain. "The
ship's crew has finished disembarking for shore leave, captain," her
voice was oddly breathy, almost excited, "we're here all alone...
Rebecca stopped, then snickered to herself softly. "Too
Voyager," she pulled the sheet out, but instead of throwing it out
she put it aside. "Could use that later," she murmured.
The clank of keys was a pleasant rhythm to Rebecca,
reminding her of much younger days. Long before she was published,
before she had even put stories on-line, she had sat in front of
this typewriter drumming out stories for her and her friends.
"And before I had to worry about deadlines," Rebecca
muttered.
She had to have the story all ready to go into the mail for
tomorrow morning, she had committed to do so for an old friend. If
it wasn't out in the mail then, it wouldn't be able to be published.
But the days went on by, she worked away on the computer, but
somehow the story still just refused to come together.
"And it doesn't help that I'm conflicted about my old
friend," Rebecca sighed.
Jamie was the very first girl she had fallen for, way back
then. She had pined over her best friend silently, as Jamie went
through a whirlwind of dating all the right boys, attending all the
right parties and making just the right business contacts.
'And now Jamie's in charge of her very own publishing
empire,' Rebecca thought, 'and I'm the moderately well known if non-
mainstream writer whom she wants to give some street credibility to
her newest literature magazine.'
Rebecca thought of those days, of what happened back then,
and how much she would have wished for things to have turned out
differently. The two of them had drifted apart after college, she
hadn't even heard from Jamie for years.
'Jamie took a lot of flack for knowing a lesbian like me
back then,' Rebecca mused, 'I guess I owe her something for that.'
Her hands hovered over the keys, then she froze as an idea occurred
to her. 'I couldn't,' she thought, but a slow smile spread over her
features.
"I'll just change all of the names," Rebecca smiled to
herself wickedly as she began to type away, not really caring if the
story was what Jamie had wanted. Right then and there, it was the
story that Rebecca needed to tell.
SOME WEEKS LATER...
Rebecca uncomfortably adjusted her casual business suit,
pausing in front of the glass tower. 'I guess this is the place,'
she thought, opening the glass door and moving into the lobby where
a pretty young woman stood waiting by the security desk.
The blonde in a very expensive dress practically
beamed, "Ms. Rebecca Duthie?"
"Yes," Rebecca said cautiously, not recognizing the girl at
all.
"I'm Cynthia deGraves, Jamie Winter's personal assistant,"
the blonde smiled. Cynthia waved her towards the elevators, "Ms.
Winter's showed me your photo and instructed me that you should be
personally escorted upstairs."
"I guess the other guests to the magazine debut party got
their own escorts," Rebecca said as the elevator began to rise.
"Actually, Jamie only had me escort you," Cynthia said
simply. She smiled slightly as she moved closer to Rebecca, "I read
your contribution to our first issue, 'School Girl Confessions,' and
I was really impressed. So daring!"
Rebecca shifted away a bit as she softly said, "It wasn't so
daring." Her thoughts were racing, 'Is this girl coming on to me?'
The blonde was pretty, sure, but Cynthia really wasn't her type.
Rebecca thought about making up some bull about a 'life partner' but
decided on a simpler approach. "I'm glad I'm not dating anymore,"
she said as casually as possible, "it makes these sort of parties
much easier."
Cynthia almost had a disappointed look on her face as she
murmured, "I suppose so."
The carpet absorbed all sounds as they left the elevator,
the upper floor's walls lined with paintings. The place was
remarkably well decorated, and Rebecca's eyes widened. 'Is this just
for the party tonight,' she wondered, 'or is it always like this?'
"Follow me," Cynthia smiled. They walked on together,
Rebecca feeling just a bit relieved that the blonde wasn't trying to
make more small talk. "Here we are," she grasped the handle of a
pair of double doors, opening up to reveal a crowded party.
"Thanks," Rebecca muttered. With a single glance she had
taken in the fine gowns worn by the women, the expensive suits of
the men, and felt instantly out of place in the dry-cleaned year old
suit that she wore.
Then a happy voice rang out, "Becca!" The slim redhead made
her way through the crowd, her own gown clearly outclassing everyone
else's in the room. The beauty nearly threw her arms around Rebecca
once she reached her side, only barely restraining herself.
Rebecca couldn't help smiling back at the sound of her old
nickname. "Jamie," she laughed softly, "it's good to see you." She
offered her hand a bit awkwardly, not quite sure how to handle
herself in this situation.
Jamie Winter pushed her red hair back and smiled
fondly, "None of that, Becca." She leaned in close to the startled
Rebecca, pressing her lips to her cheek even as their bodies fir
snugly together. Softly into her ear Jamie added, "I've missed you."
Rebecca was blushing as she softly answered, "I've missed
you, too."
"Good," Jamie moved back a bit, but then she slipped her arm
into Rebecca's. She looked up at her, "I seem to have come tonight
without a date. Would you mind escorting me?"
Rebecca gulped. 'She knows I'm a lesbian, what is she
thinking?' Keeping her voice as steady as possible she answered, "I
think I can manage that."
"Then let me show you around," Jamie tugged gently, and they
were off.
The rest of the night was remarkably nice, really. With
Jamie standing beside her the rich and powerful treated Rebecca with
respect, though she did wonder what they might say behind her back
later. Meeting with the other authors and artists was even better,
honest respect and courtesy coming through clearly. The food and
drink was plentiful, and the company was remarkably pleasant.
Throughout the evening Jamie stayed by Rebecca's side. They
spoke together, casually, but there was an odd undercurrent to it.
Jamie seemed to give her searching glances, even as she was eager to
catch up with Rebecca's life.
Finally, Jamie had to pull away. "Time for the speech
making," she smiled wryly, "try not to fall asleep while I'm
talking, OK?"
"I don't think you'd be that boring," Rebecca quietly
replied, "but I was thinking about leaving pretty soon."
"You can't!" Jamie blurted. She took a deep breath, "Sorry,
you surprised me." She smiled tentatively, "I was hoping to talk to
you some more after the party."
Rebecca hesitated, but she couldn't resist the appeal in
those green eyes. She never could. "All right," she said, "I'll
stay."
"Thanks," Jamie smiled. She moved towards the podium that
had been set up near the front of the room, only to be waylaid by
Cynthia. They spoke softly, occasionally looking towards Rebecca,
then they separated.
'What was that all about?' Rebecca wondered.
Jamie took her place up front, smiling over at the crowd.
She softly thanked everyone for coming, explaining the importance of
the magazine's debut. She then softly thanked all the writers and
artists who had contributed, and it might have been Rebecca's
imagination but she thought Jamie's gaze rested a little longer on
her.
It wasn't long after that the guests began to leave, Jamie
softly saying her good-byes. The staff began to clean up the mess of
the party, and Jamie walked over to where Rebecca stood. "Thank god
that's over," she sighed, suddenly looking bone tired.
"I seem to remember you enjoying these sort of parties in
school," Rebecca reached out, gently steadying her.
"It's been a while since college," Jamie sighed softly. She
looked up at Rebecca, "Care to join me for a nightcap?"
"Well, sure," Rebecca blinked, trying to support Jamie with
as much subtlety as she could..
They made their way out into the hallways, moving away from
the offices to an unmarked door. Jamie produced a key, unlocking it
before they went inside. "Welcome to my home away from home," Jamie
sat down on a couch with a happy sigh.
The place was set up as a combination of bedroom and sitting
room, a bed over on one side, a couch and comfortable chair on the
other. "I guess this is here I case you have to pull an all
nighter," Rebecca looked around in awe.
"Pretty much," Jamie agreed. She smiled tiredly, "Grab a
seat, and I'll get you a drink in a few minutes."
"You don't need to do that," Rebecca debated for a moment,
then she sat down beside Jamie on the couch.
Jamie had her eyes closed, "Well, I thought that some Dutch
courage might help me." She laid her head on the back of the couch,
looking over at Rebecca with the oddest look on her face. "I have to
ask you something, but I'm not sure if I want to know the answer."
Rebecca met her eyes, "Is it that important a question?"
"Yes, it is," Jamie finally answered her softly. She took a
deep breath, "Is 'School Girl Confessions' about you and I, Rebecca?"
'I should have known that she'd spot it,' was what was
running through Rebecca's head as she scrambled for an answer. She
wanted to deny it, but meeting those eyes she knew she couldn't as
her lips formed the words, "Yes, it is."
"I'm glad," Jamie said softly.
"I know I shouldn't have used us to base a story on,"
Rebecca continued, "but I was blocked, and somehow it.." She
stopped, finally registering what Jamie had said. "What?"
"I'm glad," Jamie repeated as she sat up, rubbing at her
eyes tiredly. She gave Rebecca a small smile, "All the time that I
was going to those parties and dating those guys, I was thinking
about someone else." A weak chuckle, "Imagine my reaction when I
read your story and realized you were doing the same."
Rebecca looked at Jamie, and had to admit to herself that
the woman was more beautiful than she had been in college. She also
had to admit she was terrified to make a move. "So what do we do
now?" she squeaked nervously.
Jamie reached out, gently laying her hand over Rebecca's. "I
know it's been a long time," she said, "and a lot of water under the
bridge."
"But?" Rebecca said as Jamie fell silent.
"I was an ass in college," Jamie smiled wryly, "but I think
I've grown out of it." She seemed to brace herself, "When my editor
suggested we include you in the first issue, I agreed not only
because you're such a good author. I wanted to see you."
"And then you read my story," Rebecca found herself smiling.
"Yes," Jamie smiled back. "I even had Cynthia grill you a
bit, because I was too scared to do it myself. Do you think we
could... I mean..." she gave up on words, gently drawing Rebecca's
hand to her lips, kissing it gently.
"We'll try," Rebecca said softly. She leaned across the
couch, giving Jamie a chance to move away, then kissed her on the
lips.
"Wow."
"You haven't seen anything yet," Rebecca smiled.
The End.
Author's Notes: This actually started out as the idea for a manga
story. I was going to have various images based on what Rebecca was
writing appear just behind her, even have them argue with her about
what she was writing... Instead, the her and Jamie story came to me,
and off we went. The second sequence is a homage to all of those
Aliens fanfics featuring Ellen Ripley and various female marines.
The third is a tip of the hat to all those lovely Janeway/Seven fics
for Star Trek Voyager.
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