"The Field Trip" Frankly, Rozalia Miklos was looking forward to this field trip more than anything else. School had been rough just getting into, and there was no such thing as "settling in": she still hadn't found her groove, or her niche, or whatever girls fell into to get comfortable. Her road was pocked with potholes and speed-bumps: she didn't have any friends, homework was more than stressful, she was now grounded from her cherished video games, and that crazy redheaded dike of a Dijk was still picking on her. Why she ever volunteered to go to that all-important anime club in her stead was beyond Rozy's comprehension. Perhaps she just felt like being really kind, and maybe this was the thing that would push her into a more sociable atmosphere. Yeah, right. So when word got around that the drama class was going on a field trip, she did everything in her power to make sure she was on that list. With the class bearing only a handful of girls, she was bound to make a friend somewhere, or at least make her name known. It was already early in April—spring had returned at last, though some meteorological force had kept it at bay—and with Spring Break out of the way, it was a long stretch before Prom, the finals, and for the seniors, graduation. Rozy didn't want to waste another minute. Ms. Post took a head count to make sure all her students were there. Blake, Janine, and Gabrielle were clustered together as always; Alisha was helping Jocelyn around (she was very large by this point, and even amateur observers said that she'd have that baby any day now); Ana was off sulking by herself, bemoaning the absence of her sweetheart (Rai dropped out of drama around midterm); Hero and Ayanna held hands and spoke quietly to each other; Farrah, Rozalia, and May acted standoffish; Mira was being awfully quiet, but the broad smile she had on said enough; Alexis had her arms crossed, looking every bit the rebel. "I suppose that's it," said Miss Post, checking the list a second time. "All right, everyone on the bus please." She didn't have to say that—everyone nearly stampeded to get on, anything to have the whole day away from school. They were going to some Shakespearian Renaissance thingy several counties over, but they could've been going to a torture chamber for all they cared. The driver was a stoic, heavy-set man who didn't seem willing to speak, and the bus reeked as all yellowish school buses did. "Couldn't we have afforded a Wombles bus?" moaned Walker, sighing against a window. "Those things are so nice. Plush chairs, overhead compartments, a bathroom... And some of them have TVs! What do we have but this ordinary thing?" "I know," grumbled Janine, "and it doesn't even have seatbelts. Talk about a lack of safety. What happens when we crash?" "You'd have thought they'd come up with something by now," said X, her voice in agreement. "They got every single mother-fucking thing built into these new cars—airbags, seatbelts, special emergency breaks, absorbent crap like that—but oh no, not for buses. We just crash and splat, like every other good American." "Speak for yourself!" spat Mira, kicking Alexis' seat. "In Amsterdam, every bus has seat belts!" "Oh, so that's where ya hail from. God, with all that Danish ambiguity, you could've come from anywhere." "I don't come from Amsterdam; I just know a bit about it. I'm Denmark-ish." "You sure you're not from the Nether-Netherlands?" muttered Gabrielle with a smirk. Mira snorted. "Oh, as if you're one to talk! You and your Welsh girlfriend!" "Hey, my girlfriend is a hundred percent Teutonic, and proud of it." The conversations became mixed and blurred after that, everybody talking about everything and nothing, and then some. Seated next to Alisha, Jocelyn moaned softly as the bus hit several bumps and clutched her protruding abdomen. She didn't feel very well—every shake felt like it was helping spit her unborn child out—but she deserved this vacation as much as anyone, and was totally adamant about coming. She had her cell phone with her, Janet Keys and Erica Fox on the top of the call list, and Alisha had hers too to be sure. She didn't hold any special feelings towards the younger girl, but if she was Erica's friend, then she would watch over and protect her. "Beginning to think this was a bad idea?" she asked above the din. Jocelyn fought to smile. "Oh, only when the bus rattles, which is about every half-second. Ha...needless to say, I don't get out as often as I used to, or maybe I should say I'm unable to. My mother can't take me anywhere except on weekends, of course—" "You mean Keys?" "Uh, yeah, her. She said it was okay if I wanted to call her mom. Anyway, this was the best way for me to get out." "And away from that brat of a girl we both love to death," she remarked playfully, ribbing Joss. McKeough laughed softly, but didn't put up much of a fight. Pregnancy was harder than she thought it would be, despite the support her friends gave her. She was off the soccer team, perhaps for the whole year, and once the baby came, things would only get more hectic. Of course, her foster mother volunteered to help care for the boy or girl once it came, and Alisha and Erica voted the same. Even Mira van Dijk promised to procure a service. Mira van Dijk—Jocelyn McKeough—Rozalia Miklos. They had met in that anime club, and though Rozy was more shy than a turtle, she did show an interest in Japanese animation, among other things. Mira was in love with the poor blonde by this point—no mistaking it, it was genuine love, even stronger than what she had felt for Blake and Usha—and if Rozy knew about it...oh, what fireworks would go off! "Hey, let's start a gambling pool," whispered Ayanna to Gabrielle and company. The three girls seemed interested and asked for details. "Okay, here's the deal. Word has it that the resident Dijk has a big huge thing for the newbie there—the girl wearing fatigues." "Oh, you must mean Geek Goddess number three," said Janine. Ayanna chuckled. "It's a name we came up for them," explained Blake. "Mira and Jocelyn know about it, and they seem pretty proud. They're numbers one and two, respectively. We call them geeks because, let's face it, you'll find nobody so enthralled with anime, Final Fantasy, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, and all that other crazy crap. And we call them goddesses because, let's face it, they're all freaking hot." "You should not say that," piped Janine; "you have a girlfriend." "Oh, I know, I'm just stating the obvious. I can still wave my opinion around, right?" "Yeah, just make sure it don't hit nobody in the eye," remarked Gabrielle. Blake swatted at her, and the two slap-fought like apes for awhile, leaving Janine to sigh. She was beginning to wish she had sat near someone else, anyone really. Well...not May. She still couldn't confront the older girl after the...unpleasantness of late March. But was it really unpleasant? "Shut up, brain," she muttered to herself. Then, "So what's this about a gambling pool?" Ayanna made a face. "Oh yeah. Well, if a certain redheaded someone hadn't interrupted me, I would've said that we should have a gambling pool going on concerning the Geek Goddesses. You all know how Mira pines over that blonde girl, right?" They certainly did, having to listen to her sigh wistfully in nearly every class or meeting. "Well, I'll wager that the two of them end up as a couple by the end of this semester. Whaddya say, odds?" "Ten to one," said Gabrielle, holding Blake's attack off. "Mira and Rozy don't have a chance in Hell. Mira's way too outgoing, and Rozy's not outgoing at all. Besides, the way she picks on her and all..." "Oh, I say it happens," said Blake. "I mean, opposites do attract, and they are the Geek Goddesses, after all, so they're bound to have some things in common. Besides, Rozy looks like a lezzie." "That's not something you can tell just by looking," insisted Janine. All three girls rolled their eyes. "Oh yeah, like you're one to talk!" "Shut up," she groused, "just shut up, all of you." ......... "Hey, Rozy!" Rozalia saw a girl about her age running up, dressed comfortably without anything feminine touching her skin. Now that spring was here, her bare arms could once again proudly show off a plethora of temp tattoos, ranging from hearts to dragons and even a frightening Pikachu skeleton. If memory served her correctly, this was Farrah Kwong. "Uh, yeah?" "Glad I caught up with you," said Farrah, looking placid. Wait a minute—hold on! People didn't say that to her! Nobody was ever glad to see Rozy—heck, hardly anyone even knew her name. Naturally, she was befuddled for awhile until Farrah explained. "I hear you're one of the few girls here in this school that doesn't have a girlfriend." "Uh...yeah," she said unsurely, "why should I?" "That's a very good question," admitted Kwong, smiling. "Why should we? I for one can't stand the sight of all those crazy lesbos, and since you seem cool on the matter, I thought we could stick together for the sake of convenience. It'll give me peace of mind knowing there's someone else out there who's so intolerant to the insanely heavy Sapphic overtones in this school." "Um...okay..." You lost me, Rozy wished she could say. She finally blurted it out and added, "So...you kinda had me at the whole friend thing, and then...busted." "Sorry. I would like to be friends, if it's okay?" And Rozalia, as glad as she wanted to be, couldn't help but feel suspicious. "...Why?" "Why not, I say. And I know it's none of my business, but sources say you don't hang with much of a crowd." "Not really," she admitted. "I think people are repulsed by me." "Oh, only because you're new," she scoffed. "Give it time. I was the same way when I transferred here. Of course, I still am, probably because I keep getting overshadowed by my butthead of a best friend." Rozy snickered, and demanded to know who this so-called butthead was. As wet as her ears were, even they had picked up the name of Ivory Tran, and knew it well. "So...you're friends with a gay girl, but you don't like other gay girls, am I right?" "It's the strange truth," sighed Kwong. "But Ivory and I go way, way back. We've got a kind of ‘bond of sisterhood' thing going. Now that I think about it, I always did seem to be her lackey—getting into trouble, or having to bail her out of a jam. I've tried shrugging it off, saying we're friends and all, but there's only so much debt a person can forgive." Amazing. Simply amazing. If Rozy didn't know any better, she would've sworn she was holding an actual conversation with an actual person, and they weren't walking away, giving her lectures, saying anything pointless, or otherwise doing anything to prove to her how much of a nitwit one or the other was. Farrah was, in short, being nice. "She sounds like a real character," she admitted with a smirk. "And you sound like you love her very much. Um, not in the gay sense, I mean." "I know what you meant. I honestly think I'm the only woman Ivory's ever loved without there being anything lezzy about it. Eh..." She grimaced and crossed her arms, feeling uncomfortable. Yep, this was it—the Curse of Rozalia was finally setting in. But it was not to be: "Sorry, my vocabulary's not good today. Must be this whole absent from school thing." "Yeah—without Miss Madsen here acting like a drill sergeant, we're getting dumber by the minute!" The two laughed—Rozy was surprised to hear her own chuckle coming out—and spoke some more, of this and that. Farrah later introduced Rozy to Vai—"Another soul enlightened to the delights of heterosexuality"—and that, she said, was that. "What about those two?" she pointed, indicating May and Janine. Farrah looked at Rozalia as if she had just revealed she was an alien from the planet Shizzlewizzle. "Are you serious?!" she balked. "Those two?! As if! I've never seen a couple more involved with each other! They deny it like crazy, of course, but it doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes to figure out they're crazy about each other. It's even more disgusting than if they were just flaunting it casually like everyone else!" Rozy turned colors, and looked again at Tramble and Bautista. They were as distant from each other as they could be, and hadn't even shared a word since the other day. She didn't know what to think, so she just shrugged and crossed her arms. "Anyway," Farrah said, calming down now, "I think we better go. This school may be full of lesbians, but I'd rather stick close to a bunch of crazy girls than be lost in this medieval nightmare." Rozy and Vai agreed, and took to following their "new friend" as they rejoined the rest of the group. ......... The festival itself was a refreshing break from the drudgery of school. Everything was colored with a brilliant, fantastic hue, especially the people, many of whom dressed to match the time period. There were jugglers and knife-throwers, fire-breathers and sword-swallowers, jesters and clowns, and even a Shakespeare look-alike contest going on yonder. The music was as delightful and old European as anyone could hope for (Post wished that Sarah Jo could be there—it was the sort of thing she'd swoon for), although the food lacked in taste and value. Everyone generally had a good time, but for some, the entertainment was cut short. Jocelyn had tried her very hardest to squeeze some entertainment from this day, but the child inside her was stubborn. It kicked like a mule, and even a simple shifting around made her uneasy. That there was a Life inside her own body gave her great joy, but she wanted that kid out as soon as possible. Dr. Andrews herself said that the baby would come any moment now, and gave her professional opinion to oppose Jocelyn going on that field trip... And then it happened. A deadly, beautiful, strange, invigorating lurch struck her, the mother of all jerks, and the unmistakable feel and fear of her water breaking hit her mind. Weakened and now soiled, she let out a soft cry of pain, but kept her head as she grabbed for her cell phone. Her fingers shook violently as she punched the few keys that would summon her foster mother. "Joss?" came Janet Keys' voice—she probably already knew what was happening by the sound of it. "Mom, it's happening!" she managed. A fraction of cold silence choked her world. "All right, stay calm. Where are you?" "The field trip. The fair. I don't know where exactly." "I'm glad I checked," mused Janet to herself as she paused for a moment. She was looking up a list of hospitals that were local to the fair. She didn't want her foster daughter to go out like that without being prepared, and took the time to look up all the maternity wards she could in that area. She called the one closest, then went back to her daughter. "Honey, I called the hospital; they said they should be there in about fifteen minutes. Are you going to be okay?" "In fifteen minutes?" she squealed, managing a smile. "Um, no, I feel like I'm gonna explode." "It's all right, sweetheart. Is Alisha there with you?" "She's off...somewhere. I'm all by myself now." "Honey," sighed Janet, "I warned you about that. You of all people should have somebody around you." "I know, but—" She cut herself off as another spasm of pain hit her. Janet panicked as the young woman she called a daughter groaned, and spoke as hastily as she could. "Sweetie, find somebody and get them to help you. I'll stay on as long as I can." "Will you go to the hospital with me?" she wailed feebly. Janet gasped softly. "You know I'll be there, honey. I'll ask Ms. Marbel for the rest of the day off; she owes me something anyway. Should I call anyone else?" There was only one other person Jocelyn wanted by her side at a time like this. "Erica," she managed. "Please call Erica for me." "Will do. Hang in there, sweetie. I love you." "I love you too...mom." ......... Geek Goddess number three, Rozalia Miklos, found Jocelyn first and rushed to her aid, regardless of their nonexistent relationship. After confirming that the mother-to-be was in as good a shape as she could possibly be in at that time, she ran off and found Ms. Post, who took Jocelyn to the nearest medical tent. The doctors there were actually fairly experienced with improv births (whether that was a good thing or a bad thing remained debatable), and treated miss McKeough as well as they could until the ambulance came. The whole festival seemed to freeze when it drove by and took Jocelyn into its safety, and students and revelers alike were kept wondering long after it passed. Poor Jocelyn couldn't handle the whole thing, and passed out peacefully. She honestly couldn't recall anything after that, except that she had a short dream about being a radio DJ or something unusual like that. It was pretty funny, to say the least, and a good means of entertainment until she woke up in a hospital room, dressed in those awful embarrassing hospital smocks, laying in a bed with her legs prepped up like a whore's. There were about three doctors in there—a woman and two men, all of them murmuring quietly—and with them was the more welcome sight of Janet Keys, looking stressed and rushed but otherwise glowing with happiness. "You with us?" she asked. Jocelyn couldn't talk, so she nodded. "That's good. You had quite a rest there. Lazy miss McKeough, who gets to sleep soundly while everyone else worries about her." She pinched the girl's toe and wiggled it playfully. "I didn't...really worry anyone, did I?" she whispered. Keys chuckled. "Only with that unsightly weight you've gained over the past nine months. I swear, we need to put you on a diet, girl." "Ma," she said with a grin, "I'm serious." Janet gave her beloved foster daughter a motherly smile, and held her hand. "Well, you're one of the lucky ones. Aside from passing out there for awhile, this pregnancy should be pretty standard. They say the baby's going to come out prematurely, but it's only by a few days. Maybe the little one's just as impatient as we all are." "Yeah," she managed. Now that she had her bearings straight and her voice back, Jocelyn looked around the hospital room, its sterile smell infecting her lungs, and through the clarity of pain, wondered where Erica was. "Her father's driving her," answered Keys. "She'll be here shortly. You sure picked a good time to have that baby." "Well...sooner rather than later." Jocelyn felt another stab of pain, but the doctors didn't seem aware of it. It was probably nothing to worry about if that was the case, but Joss still wondered if she had been drugged yet. With a wince she asked about it, and got several Yeses. "Oh," she murmured smarmily, "well, that's a relief." Erica's father dropped her off some time later. She told him she would hitch a ride with Mrs. Keys once all this was over, and promised him she'd give him the hospital phone number so they could contact each other. Janet was there to greet her, having been told of Erica's arrival, and guided the young woman to the room. Despite the big, proud smile on her face, she couldn't help lacing her words with anxiety. "She's not herself now," whispered the woman. "I know it's just the pain, and hormones, and so many other things, but it's like looking at another person. Her mood shifts dangerously—one minute she's weeping and happy, and the next she's cursing and raving—but I really can't blame her. Erica, she called for you so much." "...I know," said Fox thickly. "Let me see her." Janet squeezed the young woman's hand as she escorted her into the room, and left the two alone for a bit. No matter what moods Joss was going through now, she pushed all of them aside and gave a very healthy, very normal smile to her friend. "Hey, godmother Fox. Glad you could make it. The doctors say I only have a few hours left. My contractions started not long ago. You might've heard me screaming halfway across the state." Erica giggled. "Yeah, Mrs. Keys said you weren't acting normally. Who would've thought that little Jossy had a banshee in her?" Jocelyn's face contorted quickly into a mask of pain, and she winced so strongly that Erica feared she's crush her own eyeballs. She took Joss' hand and squeezed it firmly. "Joss, I'm here," she assured her. "Yeah," she replied hoarsely, "and this pain of mine hasn't gone down one fucking bit since it started. Sorry, I...don't mean half the things I say." She let out a vicious scream all of a sudden, wailing and thrashing like one possessed, and nearly broke Erica's hand apart as she crushed it in her grip. Amazing! That sweet, loveable, kindhearted Jocelyn could be so feral like this! But Erica knew it wasn't just the pain of pregnancy that was destroying her: it was pain of loss, and regret, and deep sorrow. This child would have no father, and the monster that killed him still lurked around, killing many more potential mothers and fathers. The only thing Erica could do was hold her hand and endure this storm. "Erica," Jocelyn wailed, "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! So stupid, so stupid, so stupid, so stupid..." She whispered this again and again, breaking poor Erica's heart with every word. "No, no, you're not stupid, Joss. What kind of talk is that?" "I'm such a fool," she managed, crying and smiling at the same time. "Such a god-damned fucking moronic idiot. I should have seen it. I should have...known...uggh!!! Always there, always there," she whispered, no longer making sense—"Always there, she was always there for me, always there, so stupid." "I don't understand," said Erica Fox. Jocelyn took a deep breath, and in the middle of that hurricane, she reached its eye. "It's true, what they say," she said peacefully. "You really can't think clearly unless it's through a curtain of pain. It's the ultimate mental cleanser. I was such a fool to give this up," she said, holding her hand up along with Erica's. She smiled beautifully, perspiring and still suffering, nearly breaking dear Erica's heart with the wonder of it all. "I don't know what possessed me to give you up like that," she said, firm and clear as anyone who had seen such revelations. "The fact of the matter is that I was foolish. You were the best friend in the world to me, Erica, so why should I give a damn if you're in love with me? I want to be with you, I'm sure of that now. Please, Erica, find it in your heart to forgive this silly mother, and take her back into your world. I want to love you so much," she wept, "so much! I love you, Erica Fox, I love you so...much..." Moments such as this required great lengthy periods of thought in order to work properly, but Erica didn't get this. Instead, the storm came back, Jocelyn started wailing again despite the drugs, and doctors and nurses finally swarmed around her, saying that this was the beginning. Wait a minute—the beginning?! Then what was all that before, just a prelude? It seemed that way, and Erica was ushered out of the room. "No!!" barked Jocelyn madly. "I want her to stay in here, you fucking bastards! Don't you take that woman anywhere, you fucking hear me? She stays in here or so help me God, I'll bite my tongue off and bleed to death! I'll do it, you filthy mother-fuckers!!!" "Easy there, babe," murmured Erica, too shocked to feel anything save annoyance. "Jeez. You're worse than Alisha when it comes time to get her shots. You'd think that a girl who's that pierced wouldn't be afraid of a little needle." "Shut the fuck up, you god-damned beautiful angel, and get the fuck over here!" Erica knew she didn't mean a word of it—Jocelyn was openly weeping and scared for her life. The doctors knew it was impossible to fight this, and so they let her stay on as a kind of midwife. Janet Keys was allowed in later, standing in as the mother of the patient, and together the three of them weathered the most awful and most wonderful thing ever in human history. Four hours later, in the still silence of the afternoon, Jocelyn Elizabeth McKeough gave birth to a healthy son. In tears she suckled him and announced his name. Theodore Eric Henderson McKeough. Even the doctors wept. Nobody knows Just why we're here Could it be fate Or random circumstance At the right place At the right time Two roads intertwine And if the universe conspired To meld our lives To make us Fuel and fire Then know Where ever you will be So too shall I be Close your eyes Dry your tears 'Coz when nothing seems clear You'll be safe here From the sheer weight Of your doubts and fears Weary heart You'll be safe here Remember how we laughed Until we cried At the most stupid things Like we were so high But love was all that we were on We belong And though the world would Never understand This unlikely union And why it still stands Someday we will be set free. Pray and believe When the light disappears And when this world's insincere You'll be safe here When nobody hears you scream I'll scream with you You'll be safe here Save your eyes From your tears When everything's unclear You'll be safe here From the sheer weight Of your doubts and fears Wounded heart When the light disappears And when this world's insincere You'll be safe here When nobody hears you scream I'll scream with you You'll be safe here In my arms Through the long cold night Sleep tight You'll be safe here When no one understands I'll believe You'll be safe, You'll be safe You'll be safe here Put your heart in my hands You'll be safe here
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