A Thousand Years of Prayers (part 2 of 5)

CHAPTER 02: FUYUU KOTONOHA

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Meiji Era twenty-fifth, fourth month, thirteenth day,

Dear Nikki-chan,

I have the feeling that Susanou no Mikoto must be conspiring against me. I’m serious, honestly! Why else would they sky stay ominously clouded for three days in a row, I ask you? And just exactly what is wrong with the rain anyway? Why doesn’t it just pour down once and get it over with? The way it keeps dripping for every half an hour or so and then stops just to begin again ten minutes later is maddening, really! Thanks to this, I have two basketfuls of wet clothes sitting there and unable to do a thing about them. Considering how modest my wardrobe is, if this continues, I may just run out of clothes…. What am I going to do?! No, Nikki-chan, I’m definitely NOT wearing Koto-chan’s! Sure, her size and mine are roughly the same, although she’s fuller in the chest, not to mention that her clothes smell really nice in the same way she herself does, and that I was reminded of the feel of her silky skin against mine every time I touched the fabric….

What are you trying to make me say, Nikki-chan you pervert diary!

Who Koto-chan is? Ah, that’s the nickname I gave the Priestess Fuyuu Kotonoha a couple of months after she took me in as her assistant. I called her Fuyuu-san whenever I spoke to her in the beginning, though. As to why the change in the way I addressed her…. Well, it’s a long story. I better pick up where I left off yesterday first, I think.

Once I had agreed to Kotonoha’s request, she told me that what she required from an assistant was by no means onerous.

“You are to open all the mails addressed to Furisame Jinja and reply to them in a timely fashion,” she said. “You are to keep a planner for all the events we hold every year and remind me of what to do in preparation for them. Of course, your duties also include serving teas and refreshments to the petitioners who come to the Shrine, helping out during the festivals, and several other things that should be easy for a servant.” I nodded along as she spoke, smiling slightly at amount of work I must perform in her service, thinking it’d be a piece of cake. What was that, Nikki-chan? You don’t believe me? Well, excuse me! I did grow up as a little pampered, spoiled girl but for I had been working all kind of chores for other people before coming to Unomichi, you know.

“Other than that, I fear there is nothing else that can keep boredom away from you, Amano-san,” the raven-haired girl concluded with a smile. “Of course, there shall be days in which you find yourself overwhelmed by your job, but there shall also be ones in which the only thing you do more often than not is watching the sun travel across the sky.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” I said. What I actually meant by that was ‘I think I’ll be too busy trying to come up with a way to get Sennen no Inori for Kugimiya Karasu to be bored.’

“Very well.” Kotonoha chuckled softly and turned toward the Mayor. “Now that is settled, we will take our leave, Shichou-san.” Sadamoto Shun'ichi gave his assent with a bright smile on his lips. Nothing could have pleased the man more now that I would be on my way to Furisame Jinja and let him be.

“Where are we going?” I tugged at the sleeve of her white robe as she prepared to rise to her feet.

“I think to the clothing shop first, Amano-san.” Kotonoha gave her lips a thoughtful tap. “You came to Unomichi empty-handed. It would be troublesome if you ran out of clothes. Then of course you will accompany me to your new home, Furisame Jinja.”

The merchant managing the clothing store, a widow named Yamazaki Mai who still looked quite lovely even in her forties, was so eager to please the Priestess that she decided that she wouldn’t take even a coin for all the clothes – newly woven! – she gave me. It turned out that Fuyuu Kotonoha cured her late husband’s sickness when all the doctors in Unomichi and other neighboring towns threw up their hands and said she should consider buying him a coffin. The man broke his neck falling down the stair three months later, but Yamazaki Mai was eternally grateful to my employer nonetheless.

On the way to the Jinja afterwards, I got time to think about a couple of things. First, I realized how was it that Fuyuu Kotonoha didn’t burn me to a crisp in our first encounter the way she did the demon Akiba. It was rather simple. She didn’t because she couldn’t afford to. We were in the town square then, so we were surrounded by houses and shops. Spells were all well if they hit the target, of course. But if they missed and struck one of the buildings, there was no guarantee the people inside would survive. Such was the reason why she chose to wield Sennen no Inori against me. Or so I believe it was.

The second thing I thought of was Akiba’s attitude toward me. I was under no false illusion when I sensed that Akiba hated me. He did, until the bitter end. I believe he knew the risk of chasing me to Unomichi, where the Priestess was. Death. Luck had been the only thing that saved me from being killed by Fuyuu Kotonoha. Luck deserted Akiba when she destroyed him. He was simply another pawn moved by Kugimiya Karasu’s hand, an expendable one at that. He, too, got the short end of the stick. He either disobeyed Karasu and died a painful death, or faced the Priestess for a chance of survival. His situation and mine were more alike than I had thought. At that time, I only hoped I wouldn’t end up like him. Yet, even now, after all the time I spent with Kotonoha, I still do.

I think I’m sidetracking. Sorry, ne. let me get back to the point.

It was quite a walk from the merchant’s shop to Furisame Jinja. Kotonoha and I had to go all the way through the Main Street of Unomichi to reach the Northern Gate, which led to a thick forest named Kagemori where trees were woven in a labyrinthine pattern. As we ventured deeper, treading upon roads that seemed to change direction haphazardly and climbing on slopes that were sometimes too steep, the light from the sun grew so dim we could only see a few yards ahead. Yet, no matter how treacherous the ground beneath our feet became, no matter how the dead silence, punctuated by our soft footfalls, shattered my courage, Kotonoha refused to be fazed. Face calm and collected, she glided ahead in an even pace. Sometimes she stopped and waited for me, sometimes she slowed down, but once every often she would turn her head and look at me with an expression that reminded me of my old neighbor’s daughter, who was overjoyed when her parents gave her the kimono she had nagged them to buy her for one whole month.

Then the forest finally gave way to a large clearing, where I found the tall red-lacquered Torii Archway marking the territory of the Shrine of the Falling Rain. A short walk brought me the sight of the Shrine’s Main Gate, a pair of rectangular doors under a gable-roofed arch that towered over the gray brick walls surrounding Furisame Jinja. With a small push of her hand, Fuyuu Kotonoha opened the doors and showed me what lay beyond them. “Welcome to your new home, Amano-san,” she said, smiling gently at me. I didn’t feel welcomed at all, knowing that stepping into the Jinja was the same as stepping into a trap. Little did I know that soon, it would no longer feel like one.

The first thing that a visitor would see once they walked past the Main Gate was the temizuya, the Purification Font, which was simply a stone basin filled with water under a roof supported by wooden beams. The Priestess informed me that this would be the place where people who arrived at the Shrine would purify their hands and mouths and rid themselves of the impure things they had accumulated before they came into the presence of Susanou no Mikoto the God of Storms. Of course, I had to do it too.

 Fuyuu Kotonoha, as graceful as ever, handed me a long bamboo ladle she named hishaku, which was attached at one end with a go cup half the size of my hand. After I had received the thing from her, I dipped it into the stone basin, filled it with water, and then proceeded to purify myself. First I rinsed my left hand, then my right, then finally my mouth with the water. Nikki-chan, I was laughing in my head the whole time. Isn’t it ironic that I, one who is viewed as an abomination and filth in both humans and demons’ eyes, had to cleanse myself before coming in contact with a God? You know ne; I’ve always wanted to learn what Susanou no Mikoto thinks about having a half-breed living next door. Don’t suppose he’s pleased, though.

Anyway, the main precinct of Furisame Jinja is organized into two sections on either side of an oval pond probably knee-deep. On the left is the Residential Area, comprised of the spacious living quarters, the kitchen, and the restrooms. On the right is of course the Shrine Complex which is formed by four separate structures – the Hall of Worship, the Hall of Sacred Dance, the Hall of Offerings, and the Inner Sanctuary – one linked to next by a gable-roofed wooden portico that’s a few inches off the ground. One notable thing, all four of them form something that looked like a dipper around the pond. There are several touro, stone lanterns, placed around the Shrine, too, so when they’re lit up at night, they provide illumination in the dark.

After having given me a tour around Furisame Jinja, Fuyuu Kotonoha took me to the living quarters. Mine was a large tatami room that already had what I could possibly need. As you already knew, Nikki-chan, Kotonoha’s room was right next door. At first, I was rather nervous about having someone who might kill me should she learn my secret living so close. After a while, well….

From that point onward, my life with Fuyuu Kotonoha began. I did what she expected from an assistant while being mindful of my behaviors, fully aware that my chance of survival depended on how well I acted. I kept my distance from her as a result, trying to talk to her as little as I could lest I accidentally let slip something that could bring about my demise. Kotonoha, appearing quite aloof in her demeanor the way she always was, made my life even easier. She mostly stayed in her room and rarely spoke a word while I spent most of my time sniffing around Furisame Jinja in the hope of getting Kugimiya Karasu what he wanted so that both he and the Priestess would leave me be. Cool disinterest seemed to reign between us the way we minded our own business then. We were a little more than strangers to each other around that time, I suppose. And of course, my apprehension toward Kotonoha only made it even less likely for us to become something more.

Two months later, an unexpected incident changed our relationship forever.

It happened in a cold night in the eighth month of the year, when Kotonoha and I were visiting Yamazaki Mai in Unomichi. The Priestess was invited to join the merchant’s family in celebration of her daughter’s twentieth birthday. I wouldn’t have gone with Kotonoha to town, actually, had I not been practically dragged there by the wrist despite my protest. Nikki-chan, you should have seen her that night. She seemed almost afraid to go by herself, which was something one could not associate with Fuyuu Kotonoha, the slayer of demons. It turned out that she was!

It started out quite fine. Yamazaki Mai greeted the raven-haired girl warmly at her doorstep, slightly surprised upon noticing me standing behind her. Any fool could see that Kotonoha was the only one to whom the invitation was extended. The merchant was still very nice, though, for she immediately acted as though she did want me to come.

Once we had settled down in the living room, Yamazaki Mai introduced me to her whole family. She had three children, her only son being the eldest. His name’s Koutarou, a government official working in the Colonization Office. He was twenty-five, and handsome to boot. According to his mother, he’s so popular around town that girls who came after him in swarms had to be chased away from his house with a stick. Her second child was a pretty girl called Shizuka, who spent the better part of her time helping her mother in the shop. Her youngest daughter, the ten-year-old Miyuki, was attending the local school.

Five minutes after meeting them, I realized what bothered Kotonoha so much she barely spoke a word to the Yamazaki family except the congratulation on Shizuka’s birthday. You know ne, Nikki-chan, every single member of the Yamazaki people absolutely adored the raven-haired girl. The mom, driven by gratitude, saw the Priestess as her own daughter while her children vied for Kotonoha’s attention and love. Well, there was no doubt Miyuki thought of the Priestess as a second sister the way the little girl kept tugging at the older’s sleeves and hanging onto her neck, calling her “Koto-nee-chan”… but her brother and sister were a different story altogether.

Nikki-chan, I admit that I’m a rather dimwitted girl. I have always been slower than people my age but even I could tell at a glance that Miyuki’s brother and sister were both interested in Fuyuu Kotonoha romantically. Why else would Yamazaki Koutarou keep glancing at the girl and commenting on how gorgeous she always looked? Why else would Yamazaki Shizuka keep sticking to Kotonoha’s side and try to take advantage of every occasion to link arms with her or touch her hand? And why else would they look at me with envy blazing in their dark, calculating eyes? They amused me a lot.

We gathered around a circular table in the dining room, Kotonoha herself flanked by Koutarou and Shizuka while Miyuki and I sat on either side of the little girl’s mother. The whole thing was extremely comical; I have to tell you that. Koutarou and Shizuka appeared to be participating in a race to see which one could feed more food to the Priestess. From the way they acted, they obviously believed that Kotonoha was incapable of using the chopsticks in her hand. Yamazaki Mai, who had gulped down quite a few cups of sake, merely nodded at the siblings in a very encouraging manner. The merchant, face red as the content of a watermelon, didn’t seem to register what was going on. The raven-haired girl, on the other hand, did, which was why she appeared decidedly ill.

By that time, I already realized the reason why Kotonoha dragged me there. The girl knew all too well that Koutarou and Shizuka would be all over her the moment she stepped past the door. She had already foreseen that they would never give her a moment’s peace. The Priestess brought me along because she hoped the presence of a stranger would somehow hold the Yamazaki siblings back. It didn’t. If anything, they seemed even more fired up and engrossed in trying to win Kotonoha over. I suppose that was because they thought someone else had entered the competition. Their little sister, Miyuki, on the other hand, caused little problem for she went to bed soon after the party started.

My amusement hit its peak when the merchant announced that Fuyuu Kotonoha and I were going to stay for the night due to the “obvious” reason that a girl like her should not cross the forest so late to return to Furisame Jinja. Kotonoha protested, of course, but her efforts were in vain, as Yamazaki Mai was too drunk to listen to reason. The Priestess was devastated and then became horrified at the sudden delighted glow encompassing the face of Yamazaki Shizuka, who began to fill the raven-haired girl’s sake cup to the rim. I’d say that the merchant’s daughter was planning to knock Kotonoha senseless with the rice wine, carry her to bed, and then have her ways with her. Me? I simply smirked. What? She nearly killed me once, in case you’ve forgotten, Nikki-chan! It’s only fair that I enjoyed her misery. Besides, I didn’t think so fondly of her then the way I do now….

Anyways… back to the party. Well, life had its ups and downs. My ups were seeing Fuyuu Kotonoha being mauled by the Yamazaki siblings. My downs were what came as a result. Just when the raven-haired girl seemed to be on the verge of breaking for the door, the merchant decided that it was time for bed. One problem, there were no spare rooms. Well, they used to have one on the second floor, where Kotonoha stayed whenever she visited the Yamazaki, but it was under repair at the moment. From what, the merchant didn’t say. Oh how Kotonoha had freaked out upon hearing that.

“Well, well,” Yamazaki Mai glanced at the Priestess and me. “Kotonoha-sama, would you share Shizuka’s room? I think Amano-san would not mind staying in mine for the night.” Kotonoha’s face paled to the shade of a blank sheet of paper. She also quivered as if struck, to which I almost laughed aloud. “Now, now, Shizuka, go grab a spare futon and put it in your room for Kotonoha-sama, would you?” From the birthday girl’s expression, she would be much happier should she be able to share the same futon with the Priestess… and the latter knew it. Horror crept across her face. Of course, there was no guarantee that Yamazaki Shizuka would not jump her in the middle of the night… or the moment they drew the door shut.

Suddenly, determination lit Fuyuu Kotonoha’s obsidian eyes. She spoke firmly, “I will be very grateful if I am allowed to stay with my assistant, Mai-san.” My amusement suffered from a fatal blow and died the moment I heard her say that. Deafening silence hung in the dining room. Everyone was looking at the Priestess, appearing utterly confused.

“But I have so many things to talk to you about, Kotonoha-sama,” Shizuka insisted. “Amano-san lives with you in Furisame Jinja, she can survive one night without you, I’m sure.” She glared at me afterwards. No doubt the birthday girl would fetch a knife and lunge at me should I choose to say otherwise.

“She can, but I cannot,” Kotonoha said dryly, “if I had to spend the night away from her.” The glance she sent my way left no uncertainty what she could have meant. My eyes went as wide as they could while those of the Yamazaki family looked ready to jump out of their sockets. Shizuka in particular grunted as though she had been struck by a hammer across her chest. I thought I should say something, but the shock had stilled my tongue.

“Oh,” the merchant managed. Her mouth only worked soundlessly after that. In the end, she snapped it shut.

“Kotonoha-sama, is Amano-san your…” Yamazaki Shizuka sounded strangled. “… your….”

“Yes, she is my girlfriend.” Fuyuu Kotonoha nodded.

“Hey, wait just a minute,” I blurted. “I don’t remember being your….” I stopped abruptly, for Kotonoha’s obsidian eyes had already swiveled to meet mine. ‘Please, Amano-san, just go along with it,’ the raven-haired girl’s voice said pleadingly in my head, ‘I beg of you.’ I closed my own mouth.

“We do not have to hide it here, Hikari-san,” Kotonoha smiled tenderly at me. “These people are like my family.”

“Right…” I answered curtly.

“That’s… interesting,” Yamazaki Koutarou commented while tapping his lips thoughtfully. He was the least fazed by the news, I think. “Seeing that you’ve been… together for barely a couple of months.”

“So?” Fuyuu Kotonoha rose to her feet and settled down at my side. Then she put her hand atop mine, squeezing it in a very loving manner. “Many things can happen in two months.”

“A fine joke to play on my birthday, Kotonoha-sama.” Yamazaki Shizuka narrowed her eyes at the Priestess, then at me, voice reeking of disbelief. I seriously doubt the girl bought Kotonoha’s lie, or was even willing to. “You can’t be serious.”

“I assure you that I am,” Kotonoha replied coolly. “In fact, I can even prove it.” I was stunned, for I had no idea how the Priestess would prove one of the most outrageous lies I ever heard. I learned just exactly what she planned the very moment she slipped an arm around my waist and placed her hand firmly against my back, pulling me closer. Her lovely face was but an inch away from mine as she used her vacant hand to cup my chin gently and lift it up.

‘I am terribly sorry for this, Amano-san. Please forgive me,’ a message arrived in my head. Her lips, soft, warm, and sweetened by the sake, engulfed mine.

My heart stopped beating. My whole body went rigid in shock. My face felt like a pot boiling atop a stove, and a voice somewhere at the back of my head was screaming. It took a lot of effort to make my body still and not push the raven-haired girl off of me. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, yet when Fuyuu Kotonoha finally drew her lips away, it was as if a century had passed. I wanted to slap her.

“Oh… okay,” Yamazaki Mai said faintly. Koutarou’s face was painted with utmost disappointment while his sister’s contorted in rage. “Shizuka… get your room ready for Amano-san and Kotonoha-sama. You’re sleeping in mine. Koutarou, you help me clean up the dishes.” The birthday girl stalked out of the dining room, face a thunderhead.

The merchant turned to the Priestess and said with a shaky smile, “Please make yourself at home, Kotonoha-sama, and have a nice sleep. I will see you at breakfast tomorrow. And of course, you too, Amano-san.” So the woman said but the look she gave me was definitely murderous. From that point onward, I decided that I would never step into the Yamazaki household ever again. If I do, a certain someone, or maybe two, will be waiting with a knife.

Fuyuu Kotonoha gave an incline of her head as she stood up again, drawing me along. She never let go of my hand even when we climbed the stair to the second floor, the first room on the right-hand side of which belonged to Yamazaki Shizuka. She held it even more firmly when we found the birthday girl standing inside, looming over two futon straightened neatly upon the tatami mats. In the silvery moonlight spilling in from the opened window, the merchant’s daughter appeared death personified. Kotonoha merely looked at the girl calmly, then said, “Thank you, Shizuka-san.”

“My pleasure, Kotonoha-sama,” the girl said, voice strained, eyes’ corners tight, and hands clenched into fists. “Well then, please excuse me. Have a good night.” She left, slamming the shoji door behind her with a loud crack. Angry footsteps faded into the distance.

“Amano-san,” Fuyuu Kotonoha said with a deep sigh as she settled on her knees in the seiza fashion. “I have no excuse, but I beg for your forgiveness.” She bowed so deeply toward me that her forehead touched the tatami mat. Her voice was low lest it carry to the wrong ear, but I could sense the sincerity of the apology. The guilt was tormenting her. Having realized that, my irritation toward her decreased at least by three-fourths, if not all. I’m just a soft-hearted girl after all.

“Cheap to just say sorry, you know,” I muttered darkly and sat down next to her, my back leaning against the wall, arms hugging my knees. “It’s my first kiss.”

“If I know how to compensate to you, I would,” the raven-haired girl said frantically. “I... I... did not know what to do at that time. I was… only trying desperately to find a way to avoid staying in the same room with Shizuka-san.”

“She scared you, didn’t she?” I said, peering at the Priestess in sheer curiosity.

“You have no idea how frightening that girl is.” Kotonoha sighed again, this time much more deeply. “Once she came to Furisame Jinja on her own, insisting that she was possessed by a demon and demanding that I perform an exorcism on her. Before I knew it, she had stripped herself bare in front of me and refused to put the clothes back on even after I had explained that no exorcism rituals require nakedness.”

“Eh?” I laughed aloud. “What did you do?”

“I sent a dove carrying a message to her mother and brother to pick her up,” Kotonoha replied. “It had been the longest hour of my life waiting for them to show up in the Jinja while trying with all my might to fend her off.”

“She really likes you, so it’s kinda inevitable that she wants you, don’t you think?” I pointed out, all the while trying to suppress another burst of laughter. I barely succeeded.

“Just so you know, Amano-san,” Kotonoha muttered. “I do not like her romantically, much less want her.”

“Well, tell her that!”

“I did! On numerous occasions!” the raven-haired girl clutched her forehead with her hand and exclaimed in a frustrated tone. “She pretended that she did not hear me every single time. It was like talking to a brick wall, but one that can move around and hell-bent on becoming my lover.”

“Surely you can complain to her mom?” I asked, still deeply amused by the raven-haired girl’s tale. Who could have thought that someone like her could be chased after by another so insidiously?

“You seriously do not believe I have not tried that now do you?” the Priestess said wryly.

“If you had, how come Mai-san did nothing but watch her daughter pinning herself to your skirt?”

“Shizuka-san got her mother’s approval from the beginning; that is why.” Kotonoha gave a small shake of her head and a mirthless laughter. Despair filled her melodious voice. “When the merchant said the guestroom was under repair, she was lying. She only wanted to stuff me in her daughter’s bed.”

“EH?” I blinked at her in shock. “Really?!” You see, Nikki-chan, I only thought that the widowed woman was mad at me because I stole Kotonoha away from her son.

“Yes.” The raven-haired girl nodded in exasperation. “She is so grateful toward me that nothing will please her more than me becoming an official member of her family. That means she would not mind if I ended up being either Koutarou-san or Shizuka-san’s lover. And of course, it does not sit well with her at all now that I have announced you to be my romantic interest. I would be careful around the Yamazaki were I you, Amano-san.”

“Oh, thanks for the advice, Fuyuu-san, I haven’t noticed,” I said and stuck out my tongue at the raven-haired girl. To my astonishment, she blushed, and I found myself staring unblinkingly at her sheepish face. Honest to the heavens above, Nikki-chan, nothing in this whole wide world could have looked more adorable than the girl that was sitting by my side. Her downcast obsidian eyes and her reddening cheeks only emphasized her striking beauty. With her sitting there, embarrassed, the majestic silver moon on high appeared at best a glowing rock, and the flickering candle flame on the table at the corner might as well never exist.

“My most sincere apologies to you, Amano-san,” Fuyuu Kotonoha muttered. “I have given you nothing but troubles.”

“This is really unlike you, you know,” I commented.

“Oh?” She blinked, surprise evident on her stunning face. “How so?”

“It’s just that I’ve only seen you pushing people around during the two months I lived with you, not the opposite,” I explained. “The townsfolk always did what you wanted them to. Those who refused oftentimes ended up obeying anyway. So you see, it’s kinda hard to imagine that you’re powerless against the Yamazaki… um… mob.”

“It would seem that I appear a bully in your eyes, Amano-san,” she said while give me a sidelong glance, the corners of her small, pretty lips curving upward in a little smile.

“I thought you are,” I told her frankly, which made the smile slid off Kotonoha’s face and her complexion darken considerably. The raven-haired girl was red all the way to her ears. Sitting so close to her in that room, I could almost feel the heat being given off. She only appeared lovelier. Dear Nikki-chan, during the first sixteen years of my life, I never once imagined how one day I would find myself mesmerized by the sight of a beautiful girl, one who had attempted to kill me at that.

“Anyways.” Kotonoha coughed delicately into her small hand. “You are right. In front of the Yamazaki, I do not act the way I usually would. You see, most people in Unomichi see me as a useful sword to slay the demons inhabiting this land. I have to look strong to them, or they would lose their faith in Furisame Jinja.” She paused for a second and then continued, “The merchant’s family, on the other hand, simply treats me as a fellow human being. With them, I can be myself and let go of the façade I have been putting up. To Yamazaki Mai-san, I am a girl she means to see married to her son, or romantically involved with her daughter. To Shizuka-san and Koutarou-san, I am first among equals… and a prey. My status as a Priestess and all my powers might as well count for naught.”

“I bet you sometimes wished that you never saved the merchant’s husband, ne?” I gave a start. “I’m sorry!”

“Do not be,” she told me, voice taut with guilt and shame. “I did.” She then looked down in embarrassment and took up a serious study of the tatami mat.

“Guess being stalked does that to you.” I laughed nervously. Fuyuu Kotonoha only kept silent.

“I think it is time for bed,” Kotonoha decided finally. “I wish to leave as early as possible tomorrow morning.”

“I don’t understand.” I looked at the raven-haired girl quizzically. “You already told Shizuka-san that I was your lover. You even kissed me to prove your point.” Color once again flared in the other girl’s smooth cheeks. “There’s no reason you should be afraid of her now.”

“You do not know Shizuka-san well enough, Amano-san,” Kotonoha muttered. “I lied only because I did not want to become her… toy tonight. That was it. Dogs would climb trees and cats would swim before she gives up. If then.”

“Tough to be you,” I said, smiling, and tried to stand up. I failed. Halfway rising to my feet, I tripped over the hem of my yukata and fell down. Fortunately, Kotonoha was there to catch me. For reasons incomprehensible, I found myself kneeling between her legs, cuddled in her tight embrace, hands placed on her full bosom, waist encircled by her firm arms, and face inches from hers, that of the most gorgeous girl in the world. She was soft. She was warm. And for the first time I ever, I realized that she smelled faintly of the same fragrance on the handkerchief she lent me during our first official meeting.

“You know, I can understand why Yamazaki Shizuka’s so obsessed with you,” I said quietly, my hands rising up to touch her smooth, silky cheeks. I swear to the Gods of Heaven I didn’t even know why I did that. “Look at you. You’re so… beautiful.” She blushed furiously; her skin seemed to burn against mine. “Anyone would kill to fall into your arms. Anyone would kill to receive your kiss. And they would kill me if they learned you had given me both.” I giggled nervously, meanwhile wondering in my head what in goodness’s name I could be blabbering about. I sounded almost like a flirt!

“Ah…. Thank you.” Fuyuu Kotonoha swallowed audibly.

“So, who’s the person that was lucky enough to have claimed your first kiss?” I asked.

“You,” came the hesitant answer from Kotonoha’s delicate mouth. No thunder could have been louder than that one single word, and no revelation could have been more shocking, I can tell you that, Nikki-chan.

“I guess that made us even, then,” I said, smiling weakly. Only then did I become terribly conscious of the fact that she was still embracing me, and that I was still touching her cheeks. A fraction of an inch separated the tips of our noses, and practically none between our bodies. Somehow, without me noticing, I had leaned in close enough to take in every of her fragrant breaths, close enough to feel her heart race. Although I was suffering from a sudden blow of embarrassment, I neither could move nor wanted to move. The only wish in my heart at that moment, mysteriously, was to drown myself forever in the obsidian pools of light that were her eyes. Strangely enough, Kotonoha herself didn’t seem wanting to shove me off of her either. She merely held me and studied my face. The situation somehow managed to be awkwardly embarrassing and utterly comfortable at the same time.

Actually, it was so comfortable that I never noticed Yamazaki Shizuka opening the door and stepping in to our – her – room. Fuyuu Kotonoha did, for she didn’t give a surprised squeak and hastily scramble away the way I did when Shizuka spoke practically on top of us, “I brought you clean yukata, Kotonoha-sama, Amano-san.” My name was invested with so much scorn and hate anyone could have thought that I had killed someone in her family. I guess her face was absolutely terrifying then, too, but there was no way I could have known, for I was avoiding looking at either one of them.

The shoji door was almost unhinged when the birthday girl stormed off.

Fuyuu Kotonoha and I didn’t speak another word except wishing each other goodnight before we slipped into the futons. Lying on my side, beneath the warm and thick blanket, my back facing her, I drifted off to the land of sensuous dreams… but not before I spent a good hour or so hearing my heart going wild in my chest. It beat so strongly it was almost painful, and every part of my skin that had come into contact with the raven-haired girl was as hot as any roaring flame. It was open wonder how I could have fallen asleep.

The next morning, we departed from the Yamazaki household, with the merchant and her eldest daughter – Miyuki was still snoozing cozily in her bed and Koutarou had already headed to the Colonization Office – seeing us off. Well… seeing Kotonoha off, not me. They still looked at me the way hunting hounds would a fox. Had the girl not been there, I would have been kicked off their house long since.

We resumed out daily life at Furisame Jinja as though nothing had ever happened, and Kotonoha never mentioned the lover’s act again. She was as icy and aloof as she ever was before we went to Yamazaki Shizuka’s birthday party. She would stay in her room like always, she wouldn’t speak to me unless she needed me to run an errand for her, and she wouldn’t look at me more than five seconds even when handing out instructions. To sum it up, we were again strangers who happened to live beneath the same roof.

I would have cared less, I should have seen it as nothing out of the ordinary, just like I used to, yet I couldn’t. Dear Nikki-chan, it upset me that Fuyuu Kotonoha didn’t show me her true self anymore. It depressed me that she treated me the way she would people who wanted to use her for personal gains. And it maddened me that I wasn’t as close to her as the members of the Yamazaki household, or worse, that Yamazaki Shizuka who spent every waking moment chasing after her red hibakama.

I tried to shrink the distance between us, I even came into her room once or twice just to talk, but she only gave me odd looks in response and continued to be close-mouthed as a mussel. On the surface, a tree was probably a better conversationalist compared to Fuyuu Kotonoha, except that I know it wasn’t true. The girl who sat next to me that night, who spoke to me about her troubles, who blushed at me, who held me in her arms and told me I was the lucky person who received her first kiss, was much livelier and lovelier than the ice block I saw every day. I only wished she could act that way toward me again.

My wish did come true.

Nikki-chan, even though Fuyuu Kotonoha practically ignored me, I insisted on tailing her like her own shadow regardless of where she went – well… short of the bathroom, restroom, and her own living quarters – in the hope of making her open her heart to me. I wasn’t making much progress around then, seeing how she barely spoke two words to me unless out of necessity, but I was contented, and strangely so, with following her. It disturbed me somewhat that I was rather obsessed over her, obviously, but I managed to convince myself that I was fed up with being all alone in the Shrine. It worked.

As the Chief Priestess of Furisame Jinja, Kotonoha traveled to town every time a dove carrying a message reached Shrine. Usually it was because a sickness that no doctors could cure had befallen some poor folks, most likely demon-related in some ways. And of course, Yamazaki Shizuka just had to appear every single time we emerged from the Kagemori Forest. I still don’t know how the merchant’s daughter managed such a feat. She couldn’t have hounded the Colonization Office, where the doves were stationed, all day… could she?

….

You know… if you think about it that way… it’s possible. Yamazaki Shizuka’s definitely crazy about Kotonoha enough to do something like that.

You know ne, Nikki-chan, Kotonoha was right when she predicted that Yamazaki Shizuka wasn’t going to give up just because the former announced that she had a girlfriend. It was the opposite. The whole drama episode at merchant’s daughter’s birthday party only made her chase after the Priestess in a much fiercer manner. She simply refused to admit defeat! There were times I thought that she had the tenacity of ten men. I don’t think I was mistaken.

Nikki-chan, it didn’t bother me so much the first few times the merchant’s daughter tagged along. Yet… eventually I noticed that I had a tendency to glare at other people, sometimes even snapped at them, whenever the three of us treaded upon the same street. The closer Yamazaki Shizuka was to Fuyuu Kotonoha, the worse my mood got, and the thinner my patience grew. Nikki-chan, I’m ashamed to admit that sometimes when I watched the merchant’s daughter clung to the raven-haired girl’s arm, when I coughed before I reminded her that she should pay attention to common decency and was blatantly ignored afterwards, I dearly wished that choking people to death was legal. She ticked me off so badly that I had to spend much of my strength just to keep my hands still lest they go for her throat. I didn’t think I could stop myself, or wanted to, once that happened.

And you know what, Nikki-chan, Fuyuu Kotonoha didn’t exactly resist the merchant’s daughter, which blew my mind. See, the raven-haired girl had elaborated at length how much it bugged her that all Yamazaki Shizuka wanted to do was getting into her bed. Yet, the way she acted nonchalantly toward the girl’s most indecent and unacceptable behaviors gave out the impression that she didn’t mind.

I came into Kotonoha’s room one day and suggested to her that if she wanted Shizuka to stop pestering her, she had better be more serious about it. The blank stare the Priestess greeted me with was most discomforting. You could have thought that I had spoken in a different language. There wasn’t anything else I could do at that point so I left, mumbling angrily to myself how the raven-haired girl could be so detached. Never once did I stop to think why I was that worked up about her dating issues.

It was somewhere in the middle of the ninth month, I believed, when the Mayor of Unomichi sent a dove to the Priestess. The stocky man, who was Kugimiya Karasu’s secret servant in Unomichi, as it turned out, wanted to talk to Fuyuu Kotonoha about a few government proposals concerning the Shrine.

As always, the first person she and I saw shortly after walking out from Kagemori Forest was Yamazaki Shizuka. Despite the fact that I was rather upset, too upset for my own comfort in fact, I noticed something strange about Shizuka on that day. The corners of her lips were tight, and there were signs of tiredness around her red, swollen eyes. Some would say that the merchant’s daughter had spent the night before in tears.

Kotonoha evidently thought so.

“Have you been crying, Shizuka-san?” the raven-haired girl asked, voice slightly tinged with worry, which did nothing to lighten my lethal mood. I only wished she had ignored the merchant’s daughter.

“Ah, no, no.” Shizuka shook her head frantically. “I was… just peeling an onion before I came here, that’s all.” A pathetic lie, that.

“You know you can always speak to me if something bothers you, Shizuka-san,” Kotonoha said in a very gentle voice. I almost gritted my teeth. “You know I care about you.” My mouth dropped open.

Yamazaki Shizuka looked up at the raven-haired girl – Kotonoha was a head taller than Shizuka, but only half a hand taller than me – in a way that spoke volumes of genuine anguish. Tears welled up in her eyes. My housemate blinked in shock, and I was slightly taken aback by the reaction.

“You… do care about me, Kotonoha-sama?” the merchant’s daughter asked, her voice trembling.

“Of course.” The raven-haired girl nodded, a tender smile curving her lips.

“Then… would it be okay if we can talk in… private?” Shizuka said, gesturing toward an empty alley nearby. Without giving me the merest hint of a glance, the raven-haired girl nodded, took Shizuka’s hand, and led her toward the alley, where they stood opposite each other and talked. I wasn’t sure how I myself looked then, but when several passers-by saw me, they gave a violent start and scurried off. I wonder if I seemed that frightening.

I merely stood there, watching the two other girls standing and talking in the alley. At first, Yamazaki Shizuka was an arm away from the taller girl but after every minute, her body drew closer, her mouth moved faster, and her fists would clench harder as tears silently dropped from her face. Kotonoha, on the other hand, betrayed no emotion that I could see. Back straight as an oak tree, the Priestess spoke to the merchant’s daughter with an expression that would fit more on a rock.

Then it happened. Kotonoha opened her mouth and said something. I couldn’t possibly guess what she said just by looking at the movements of her lips, but whatever it was, it made Yamazaki Shizuka weep harder than ever. After a while, the merchant’s daughter looked up at the raven-haired girl with a tear-drenched face and muttered something as she grabbed Kotonoha’s shoulder and shook it. Slowly, Kotonoha nodded. My mind went blank the moment the Priestess put her arms around the shorter girl’s shoulder, pulled her closer, and kissed her on the lips. My head could have done for any roaring furnace. My heart could have been housing the heaviest thunderstorm.

Not saying anything, I walked back toward the Northern Gate, which led me to Kagemori Forest. Upon its treacherous paths, under its dim light, surrounded by its sacred silence, I merely stepped forward. I’d been living with Fuyuu Kotonoha for a little more than three months and a half, every day of which she spent an hour or two helping me learning the ways in Kagemori Forest, so I was able get home without her, or maybe even with my eyes squeezed shut.

Nikki-chan, I hated crossing Kagemori Forest all by myself – the atmosphere was too creepy – but on that day, I could have been walking on any of Unomichi’s crowded roads. The tall trees, which usually resembled monsters at first glance with their thin, weirdly shaped branches, looked to me as dignified as any of the townsfolk. The deep gorges and the sheer cliffs might have not been there. In what seemed as short as a heartbeat, Kagemori Forest gave way to Furisame Jinja, the Shrine of the Falling Rain. I found myself in my room in a blink of an eye. It was as if I never walked beneath the Torii Archway, pushed open the Main Gates, and arrived at the Residential Area of the Jinja.

It was still early in the afternoon, but there was nothing I needed to take care of, and I was feeling extremely terrible, so I changed my clothes, spread out the futon, climbed inside, and pulled the blanket over my head. I tried to sleep. I couldn’t. As soon as I pulled down my eyelids, the scenery in which Yamazaki Shizuka was lip-locking with Fuyuu Kotonoha popped up in my mind, and my eyes would spring open immediately. The same thing repeated for several more times before I gave up. I curled up in a ball beneath the thick blanket, trembling slightly while having no idea why. My eyes stung, and my chest hurt. I cried. I couldn’t make myself stop. All I managed to do was keeping my voice down. The more tears I shed, the sadder I became, and the harder the cold hand around my heart gripped. My thoughts started to wander.

Between the sobs that I failed to smother, I recalled what I had seen between Yamazaki Shizuka and my housemate in that empty alley. The only conclusion I could come up with was that the merchant’s daughter had finally conquered the icy Priestess Fuyuu Kotonoha, which would conveniently explain why Shizuka burst out crying. Anyone would have said that those were tears of joy. It was only logical to assume that way.

Slowly, an explanation for my strange behaviors dawned on me. “You haven’t heard that you can’t choose the one you fall in love with, no?” Kugimiya Karasu’s voice whispered faintly in my head. It suddenly made so much sense why I was feeling so depressed just because Yamazaki Shizuka clung to my housemate, why I was crying my eyes out just because Kotonoha smooched another girl in front of me. I’m dimwitted, agreed, but not so much so that I wouldn’t recognize love when it hit me in the face. And you know, Nikki-chan, the knowledge squeezed more hot tears and strangled sobs out of me. What could be more painful than realizing that you had fallen helplessly in love with someone who treated you like a stranger, who happened to have chosen another person for her romantic interest? There’s none.

Suddenly I heard the sound of my room’s shoji door opening, so I bit my lower lip with my teeth and tried to keep myself quiet.

“Is something the matter, Amano-san?” Kotonoha’s musical voice spoke almost on top of me. Hastily, I used my sleeves to scrub at my face and dry the tears I had shed.

“Why did you leave me by myself in Unomichi?” the raven-haired girl continued coolly after a moment of dead silence.

“Why do you care?” the words leapt from my tongue before I could hold them back. And they held much more heat than I could have possibly intended. I was almost shouting.

“What do you mean?” Confusion touched Kotonoha’s voice.

“Shouldn’t you be cuddling your new girlfriend right now?” I said mockingly, sensing my heart clench at every word. “Why bother about your assistant?” I wanted to cry.

“My new girlfriend? Whom might you be referring to?” She sounded scandalized.

“Yamazaki Shizuka!” I could barely keep myself from yelling. “Didn’t you kiss her just now?”

Silence, punctuated by a sharp intake of breath, answered me.

“I fear you have a serious misunderstanding, Amano-san,” Kotonoha said calmly, if a tad breathily. “The fact that I kissed a girl does not necessarily make her my girlfriend. I was merely granting Shizuka-san’s request.”

“What was that? You kissed her just because she wanted you to?” I exploded as I sat up straight on the futon, hurling the blanket away with my hand. Then I found Fuyuu Kotonoha sitting there, her face glowing with a strange expression which I didn’t know how to read. The cool mask of serenity she always wore was nowhere in sight. In front of me was the raven-haired girl who had talked to me on that fateful night at the Yamazaki household. My tongue froze, and my anger subsided like a tide ebbing from the beach.

“I could not exactly decline, Amano-san,” Kotonoha said ruefully and shrugged. “All she wished from me was something to remember me by. Their whole family is moving to Nagano next month, you see.”

“Eh?” I stared at the raven-haired girl. “I didn’t know that.”

“I did not, either, until Shizuka-san told me today,” Kotonoha said quietly.

“But why are they moving?” I said.

“You remember, do you not, that Koutarou-san works for the Colonization Office?” the raven-haired girl continued at a nod of my head. “His work records have been nothing short of excellent, so the Chief of the local Office had nominated him to his supervisors, who in turn appointed him to fill a vacant post in Nagano. Apparently, Koutarou-san is going to become a very high-ranking official.”

“Doesn’t that mean only he has to go?” I asked curiously.

“Indeed so.” The other girl nodded. “However, Koutarou-san dearly cherishes his family, so he insisted on bringing them with him. Yamazaki Mai-san, proud of her son and moved by his love, agreed. There is no other choice for Shizuka-san except going along.”

“Is that the reason why her eyes were so red this morning?”

“Yes, she cried herself to sleep last night.” Kotonoha grimaced. “She came to me this morning to ask if there was some way she could work and live in the Shrine.” The raven-haired girl smiled at the anxious look on my face. “I refused. I explained that the Shrine’s financial situation left no room for a third person. And that you, my girlfriend in name, would not be pleased.” She pulled a hand over her mouth and chuckled softly. Those were the most beautiful sounds I ever heard.

“I... I can care less!” I stuttered, feeling blood rushing to my face and warming it up rapidly. “She can move in any time.” Kotonoha’s chuckle grew richer, deeper, and much more amused. She knew I lied…. She let it slide, though.

“Shizuka-san was distressed,” Kotonoha said. “She was aware she would not be able to see me for a very long time, so she requested that one kiss, which I gave to her.”

“I see,” I murmured, and was startled by the joyous note in my tone. The raven-haired girl gave no evidence that she noticed.

“You have not answered my question, Amano-san,” Kotonoha said. “Why did you leave me in Unomichi and return to Furisame Jinja?”

“I... um…” I said after a deafening moment of silence. In my head, I hurriedly searched for an excuse. I found one immediately, much to my relief. “I wasn’t feeling well… so I wanted to head back home and sleep.”

“Are you alright?” Without the slightest hint of a warning, Kotonoha leaned over and put her forehead against mine. Had I not kept my mouth shut in time, I would have gasped. Had I not forced my arms to stay still, I would have thrown them around her back and hugged her. “Your face is red, your forehead is burning, and your breaths are heavy.” Kotonoha frowned while slowly drawing her slender frame back. “I should bring you to a doctor.”

“No, no, it’s okay!” Words rushed out of my mouth. “I’ll just need a good night’s rest, that’s all!”

“But your face is wet,” the other girl said softly. “You have been sweating, have you not?” she took out her handkerchief from inside her pocket and used it to dry the tears on my face, which she called sweat. Her gentle touch upon my cheeks lit up a furious flame beneath my skin. I thought that should I let her keep it up, she’d cook my brain alive.

“It’s… it’s okay,” I stammered. “I’ll… do it on my own!”

“Sure.” She smiled at me and gave me the piece of white cloth the corner of which was sewn with an elegant golden lily. It was the same handkerchief she had lent me during our meeting in the Colonization Office. It was smooth like her skin was, and it smelled faintly of her fragrant scent.

“Are you quite certain that you are alright?” the raven-haired girl’s voice dragged me back to reality. “Very well,” she said after several frantic nods of my head. “But Amano-san, if you had felt unwell in the first place, you should have told me. I would have never let you go back to the Shrine in such a condition.” Her voice grew firmer and firmer. She seemed stern, and somewhat scary, yet were she to yell at me for the rest of the day, I would be happily sitting there, listen to her every word.

“You can’t blame me for not telling you, though,” I said. “You’ve always acted as though you never cared if I dropped dead.” I winced at the unintended accusing tone.

“Where did you get such an idea?” Kotonoha appeared shocked to the base of her foundation. “I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. Amano-san, you are very important to me, do you not know?”

Nikki-chan, if the Emperor waltzed in and announced that he would abdicate the throne to me that instant, he still couldn’t possibly make me as happy as Kotonoha did by saying those simple words. Warmth flooded my whole body, bliss welled in my heart. I took her hand, folded on her lap, into both of mine and squeezed it with as much affection as I could manage without hurting her. The raven-haired girl’s face turned a little pink. Still, she didn’t take her hand back, so I continued to relish the feel of her silky skin, wishing I could hold her hand forever.

“I am?” I said softly. “Why?”

“Because…” Kotonoha hesitated, “you are the most efficient employee anyone could have asked for. And you really helped me out on Shizuka-san’s birthday, to which I am still grateful. So, I... well… you see… I am very… fond of you.” The pink shade of her complexion went beet-red as she struggled to get the last few words out, which sent my heart galloping.

“You are?” I murmured.

“Of course.” Kotonoha sighed. “If I were not, I would not have been so anxious when you disappeared in town. I was so afraid that something bad had happened that I even canceled the meeting with the Mayor to search for you.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, “and I’m sorry I worried you.” Nikki-chan, that had been such a touching moment for me; too bad it was ruined by a growl that came from my empty stomach. My face burned in embarrassment while Kotonoha laughed quietly to herself.

“That reminds me,” she said afterwards. “I should make dinner.” She paused, and we stared at one another for another while before she dropped her obsidian gaze and murmured softly. “Amano-san…. My hand?” I gave a slight start and let go of her. Freed, Kotonoha rose to her feet and walked toward the shoji door to my room, her ears so red anyone would have thought they were burning. I wasn’t sure mine were not the same.

“Fuyuu-san,” I called.

“Yes?” she answered, smiling faintly.

“Your handkerchief….”

“Well, why don’t you keep it, Amano-san?” she said as her smile deepened. “If I remember correctly, you do not have one. Or do you not want it?”

“I do!” I said, maybe a little bit faster than what I could have wanted. My face warmed up so rapidly I thought it was on fire. “Um, thanks,” I mumbled quietly, my hand pressing the silky piece of cloth to my heart. I was so happy at that time, knowing that I then had in my possession something that belonged to the one I loved. I even vowed that I would treasure it forever and ever. Little did I know what Kotonoha had in mind when she gave me the handkerchief.

“You are very welcome.” She chuckled softly into her hand, appearing so happy that anyone would have thought she was the one who received the gift.

“Um, Fuyuu-san, would it be okay for me to come and help you prepare the food?” Noticing the sudden frown on her lovely face, I added, “I’m feeling better already! Please?”

“Very well,” the Priestess nodded. “However.” She raised a peremptory finger. “You must promise me that you will not overwork yourself, okay?”

“I promise,” I said.

“Then what would you like for dinner tonight, Amano-san?” A dazzling smile bloomed on her lips. The sunset had never seemed more dazzling when we walked alongside each other to the kitchen, where we spent an entire afternoon making a feast that would put a shame to the best restaurant in town. I only did the slight stuffs, of course, like cutting vegetable or handing Kotonoha spices and dishes. I had nothing to do most of the times in the kitchen – or rather she didn’t let me – so I usually ended up standing around, watching the raven-haired girl cook. Even when her face was drenched with sweat, her white yukata stained by oil, and her hair slightly disarrayed, her beauty wasn’t marred in the least bit. I was so charmed by the occasional smiles she gave when she turned to look at me that I almost forgot how to breathe.

Oh, it’s time for me to leave again. I’ll see you tomorrow, Nikki-chan. Jaa ne.