In what was once the living room of the rundown mansion they
used Buffy sighed to herself happily, sitting there along with Willow
at the battered old dining table eating some more of her freshly made
omlette. With all her battle scars and tough attitude the domestic
scene should have looked a bit strange, but it all fit, somehow.
"What you have to understand," the vampire slayer looked up at
Willow and softly said, "is that I've never really had a close friend
before."
Across the table from Buffy in her leather fetish dress Willow
stopped cold, with a spoon full of the warmed blood halfway to her
mouth before blurting out, "What?"
The thin blonde looked uncomfortable as she continued. "You
see, I was recruited to be a slayer when I was pretty young." Buffy
looked off into the distance, "After I was trained, I and my Watcher
moved around alot, handling whatever menace that needed to be delt
with. We didn't stick around long enough to make friends with the
locals."
"It sounds very lonely," Willow agreed. The redheaded vampire
tilted her head slightly and asked, "Was your Watcher a friend to you
at all?"
"He tried to be," Buffy smiled, "but he was a bit of a stuffed
shirt. Wesley never did really manage to connect to me." She shook her
head, "Anyway, what I was saying was that I've never really been close
to someone before."
Willow looked over at Buffy thoughtfully, wondering at how the
young woman had coped for so very long. At least Willow had a few
close friends before she was made into a vampire, and steady
companionship even after her transformation. From the sound of it,
Buffy had neither of those things for a long, long time.
"Then I'm glad that we're becoming friends," Willow smiled.
"So am I," Buffy smiled. She sighed as she gazed at the
vampire, "What I'm less thrilled by is trying to figure out if you're
becoming more than a friend to me."
Willow wasn't quite sure how to advise her. She was unsure of
her own sexuality, much less trying to figure out Buffy's! "Before I
became a vampire, I had crushes on other young women," she admitted.
She looked over at Buffy, "Did you?"
"Once," Buffy actually blushed a bit, "I trained with another
Slayer for awhile, Kendra. I liked her, and wanted to..." She trailed
off.
"Hmm," Willow nodded, then an odd look appeared on her face,
"I thought there was only one Slayer in the world?"
Buffy's mouth twisted in a bitter smile, "The Watchers'
Council tried a little experiment, once. They intentionally stopped my
heart to see if another Slayer might awaken if I was temporarily dead.
It worked, but they had a hard time reviving me."
"They nearly killed you?" Willow growled, jumping up from her
seat like a shot and her face shifting from human to vampire mode. She
got a grip on her temper, but it clearly was taking some effort as she
grumbled, "How DARE they?"
"Thanks," Buffy surprised her by saying.
Willow sat down with a frown, "Why are you thanking me?"
"You really do care," Buffy said with a fond smile. More
softly, "No one in the Watchers even protested when that was done to
me." Her smile suddenly turned evil, "I can just imagine what would
have happened if you had been there."
"There wouldn't still be a Watchers' Council if I had been
there," Willow scowled fearsomely. She took a breath and shook
herself, "Sorry, lost it a bit there."
"Trust me, I do appreciate it," Buffy smiled. She picked at
her food for a bit before bringing the conversation back on track, "I
just don't know how to define what I'm feeling about you." She looked
up, fearing the sight of rejection in Willow's eyes.
Instead, Willow gave her a gentle smile. "Do you have to
define it?" Willow asked her. She hesitated, "Lets assume for a moment
that you have fallen for me."
"And?" Buffy prompted her after a few moments of silence.
"Buffy, I'm a monster." Before she could protest it Willow
held up a pale hand, "It's true, and you know it. I'm a animated
corpse that's been possessed by a demon, the very thing that you've
been trained all your life to fight against."
"You're more than that," Buffy frowned.
"Maybe," Willow nodded her agreement, "but the only thing
that's holding my demon side in check is my human soul." With a soft
sigh she confessed, "And occasionally, it can barely hold back the
monster inside me."
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.
Willow looked down at her near empty bowl uncomfortably.
"Tonight, after the fight," she said softly, "you were bleeding. And
I... wanted to feed off you, badly."
Buffy hesitated, "I'm not sure I'd mind that."
Willow gazed at her in shock, "Oh, no!" She shook her head, "I
wouldn't trust myself not to hurt you, Buffy." Much more quietly, "I
couldn't stand that."
"Maybe I should be asking you about what you feel for me,"
Buffy said softly.
"Confused," the vampire admitted.
Willow went around the table and picked up her empty bowl and
Buffy's scrapped clean plate before she carried them into the kitchen,
Buffy following close behind. What had once been a stinking mess now
cleamed, the counters and sink spotless and the stove fully repaired.
"You're not getting away with just giving me an answer like
that," Buffy perched up on one of the counters, giving Willow a slight
smile.
Willow ran hot water, squeezed soap in and then put the pots,
pans and plates into the water to buy herself a bit of time. She
actually found she enjoyed doing things like this, they reminded her
of what it had been like to be human. 'And,' she had to admit as she
concentrated on her washing, 'I like doing it for Buffy.' She ventured
a look up, only to find Buffy staring at her patiently.
"You're relentless, you know that?" Willow sighed.
"Yep," Buffy answered simply.
"I've never really been in love before," Willow finally
shrugged. She looked at Buffy fondly, "I have no idea how it feels, or
what to expect." She scrubbed a pan for a moment, "The only thing that
I do know is that I care about you very much."
"So what do we do now?" Buffy asked quietly.
"Give it some time," Willow smiled. She put a plate in the
drying rack, then lay a slightly damp hand on Buffy's own, "When we're
both sure, when we're ready..."
"All right," Buffy covered Willow's hand, squeezing gently.
In another part of the city, a bus came to a gradual stop at
the depot. The doors banged open and a black haired young woman
climbed out, standing there a moment looking around her curiously. "So
this is Sunnydale," Faith murmured.
"It's good to see you," Giles said quietly.
"What's the situation?" Faith asked him crisply.
Reluctantly Giles said, "We may have a rogue slayer on our
hands."
Back to Slayer and Shadow Index - Back to Non-Anime Fanfiction Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction