Bare Knees The girl was still sleeping. Ever so peaceful. She had probably forgotten it all. Dreaming sweetly. I let go of her and removed her arms. She didn't have to get up now. It was just me. The wooden floor was nice. No splinters at all. And it was warm. I noticed the fire burning in the fireplace. Cozy. No need to put on clothes. No mirrors in the living room. I hadn't seen any the night before. But better safe than sorry. I really wanted to see myself. Had wanted it for so long. Had to know what I looked like. But there was nothing in the living room. Dawn was yet to come. The garden was dark. The hedges tall. No mirrors at all. And why would they be there anyway? No one has mirrors in the garden. Not even in a strange house like this. I walked back inside. Into the bathroom. The magic dresses were dry. And soft. But the smell was still gone. I folded them. Nicely. Took shoes and socks and the rest. There were two hangers on the rack. By the front door that was locked. The girl's uniform fit on one. And mine on the other. I went back to the bathroom and found the knife. Put it in the sheath. And strapped the sheath to the top of her hanger. In case we'd ever need it. Maybe one day. But a day far from now. The marble bathroom. Our new clothes were on the floor. Warm floor. I didn't pick it up. It could wait. Searched the bathroom instead. But there was nothing. No mirror at all. Not even a tiny one. Depressing. Had to pee. I sat down on the toilet seat. Couldn't remember when the last time was. But then again I hadn't eaten for so long. Or drunken anything. Maybe it all came out as sweat. I dried myself and flushed. Washed my hands. That's when it hit me. I put the plug in the sink. And turned on the water. Slowly the sink was filled with water. Water that was filled with hope. My hope. The light from the ceiling. It wasn't enough. I stared into the water. Something dark. A silhouette. There was nothing more than that. I couldn't see anything. Not even my eyes. Splash. Tears. Ripples in the water. I sat down on the toilet again. Sat down and cried. I had so much. No one was bothering us. The girl was with me. But I only wanted to see myself. Even now. It was like they said. So many years ago. That I would never be happy. Everything was sad. Nothing was right. Nothing ever was. Always a splinter. Always something bothering. It would never leave me alone. Wailing. Louder. Till I got all wet. Whimpered. It was just like back then. Arms were wrapped around me. I felt her shoulder. Leaned my head on it. Cried. And I could hear something. The girl. She was crying too. For a while. She wanted to ask me. I could feel it. She wanted to know. Now that we were safe. I let go of her. Looked her in the eyes. Wiped away her tears. I had stopped crying. We both had. The girl didn't say a word. But I knew what she would have said. And I just looked. Her eyes. Her face. There was something about it all. Familiar in a way. She wasn't me, but... There were no mirrors in this house. So I could never see myself. But maybe. Her face. Her beautiful face. Her hair. Nose. Eyes. Mouth. Cheeks. Ears. More even. The way she looked at me when she looked at me. I ran my fingers through her pretty brown hair. Like lightning. It just hit me. I didn't have to see myself. There was no point. That's why I had to protect her. Because she was it. I could just look at her. That's the way I looked. Felt. We were the same. We were one. I cried and she cried and she smiled and I smiled and we laughed and giggled and killed a dog and painted things and lay in the grass. All together. This wasn't like me and him. The girl was exactly like me. And nobody in the world would bother us. No reason at all. We didn't have to cry. I got up. Took her up in my arms. She smiled. Contagious. We smiled. And laughed. I carried her back to bed. Put her down just nicely. Caressed her soft arms. Lied down on top of her. Pulled the blue duvet over us. The fireplace burned still. And we kissed some more. This was love.
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