Outer A god. He was a god. I'd been helping him all along. I'd been helping a god. I was back in the big room. They were all staring. He came out of the shiny old me. She fell just like me. She fell and he spread out his wings. Dark red. And black. His wings were huge. Hovering over the shiny old me. His horns. All of him. It reeked. He was the god from all the pictures. He'd kill us all. He had already slaughtered the girl. I knew it was him. It had to be. The man ran. He wasn't a fighter. And he didn't want to die. I didn't care. I envied the woman as the god killed her. She smiled. Smiled as she dropped dead. Killed by lightning. Left were only the girl's dad and the god. And a wheelchair. Something strange about it. Didn't want to remember. They fought. The girl's dad didn't run away. He shot the god. The god shot the girl's dad. Lightning and bullets. Endless fighting. Someone. Something. Inside the girl's dad. Helping. Something took all the hits. The god didn't hurt him. Not for real. Tiresome. Sleepy. Darkness. And silence. I woke up again when it screamed. Freezing scream. Deafening. Then it fell. The god fell. Died. The girl's dad killed the god. Relief. The god. It had cheated all along. And now it was dead. It was gone. The girl's dad. He ran to the fallen old me. Couldn't hear what they said. Everything faded slowly. Everything ended. The shiny old me held out her arms. Gave him something. I wanted. I had to see what it was. Lacking strength. Dying. Couldn't get up. Couldn't move. The girl's dad took it in his arms. Held it tightly. To his heart. A child? The shiny old me. She pointed. It rained fire. She pointed, it rained, and he ran. Ran away with the child. The man was there too. But he couldn't run. The nurse. The one the girl drew. She took the man. Dragged him away. Only the girl's dad and the child escaped. Now we were truly alone. She stopped shining. Slowly. Faded away. I was lying on my back. Cold. It was cold. Really much. The stars above went out one by one. I reached out for them. For the heavens. For the people above me. For life. Happiness. Anything I could reach. I'd take anything. There was nothing. My hand returned empty. No hope. And no fear. Everything had slowed down. Slug speed. Waiting. I had reached nothing. A little bit of happiness. The girl. Somehow I could still feel. Feel tears run down my face. Wetting everything. I was supposed to watch her. Take care of her. Be her mother. No. Sister. Friend. It didn't work. I was hoping. Maybe. Maybe I'd see her again. Waiting for the kiss. The sweet kiss of death. Memories flashed by. I'd rather they'd leave me alone. Not all of it was sad. But nothing was happy. My sister. We played together. But when I was alone I always drew the same things. The dogs. The dinosaurs with wings. Adults. Worse things. In school. Blank. I only remembered the girl's toilet. Crying. All the time. The others hated me. They had knives. Wrote things on my table. Lighthouse. So short. Standing at the edge. Couldn't jump. Couldn't let go. The hallway in the house. The stairs. My room. Butterflies. Dinosaurs. Books. Drawings everywhere. The house. Tied up. They're walking around me. Heat. Flames. I scream. My clothes. On fire. I'm burning. Below it all. They wrapped me up. Never spoke to me. Left me alone. Watching. They hated me. Everyone did. And they wouldn't let me die. I couldn't die. A road. Night. Chilling breeze. Protective uniform. A car's coming. It's evading. Falling off the road. I reached out again, but there was nothing. There never was.
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