Inverse
In second grade, she was your best enemy. You fought with her constantly
and wanted to marry her boyfriend.
Funny how things change. When you see him, you get the same tight, angry
feeling you used to get when you saw her.
Likewise, you get the same tingle from her you used to get from him.
Growing up has done wonders for her personality. She's as perky as ever,
but no longer self-centered and ridiculous. Of course, it doesn't matter
how much she's changed in the past six years if you've felt this way for
three.
It happened so gradually. Little things about her slowly drawing you
in...her infectious giggle, the way she'd flip her ponytail over her
shoulder, her eyes lighting up whenever she was excited about something.
And boy, did she excite easily.
A trip to the ice cream parlor, a vacation in Disneyworld, even a dumb
spelling bee.
The spelling bee championships.
Funny, you don't even remember how her ego swelled, how Hannie and Nancy
stopped talking to her and almost made you the third Musketeer. All you
remember is how cute she looked in that pleated skirt and blue sweater.
Sure, back then you would've called her a geek for it, it wasn't cool
like your beloved sweatshirt dresses and black leggings with the pink
pockets on the knees. (How you could've ever thought those were cool is
beyond you!)
She had two different pairs of glasses. The blue ones were for reading
and the pink ones were for everything else. She thought they were the
coolest thing ever, and you teased her for it.
Her skirts are shorter these days, and you catch your breath as she
walks past you. You try not to notice as her skirt flips up a little, or
how her pink sweater hugs her in all the right places.
She still wears glasses. Only one pair, with slimmer tortoiseshell
frames.
She's talking to Hannie and Nancy, the three of them are still as tight
as they were six years ago. You catch some snippets of their
conversation...Bobby's still chasing Nancy, and she cringes as she
admits to being flattered by it. Hannie's father is recovering nicely
after his heart attack.
When she speaks, it's just a story about her dog knocking over a plant.
But you hang on her every word, just to hear her voice.
At length, his name comes up, and your chest tightens with anger. Then,
to add insult to injury, he goes over and puts his arm around her.
They're even closer than they were six years ago. After all, pretend
husband and wife has nothing on real boyfriend and girlfriend.
You'd never guess that a courtship between two seven year olds would
actually last.
He's still a sweet guy. He treats her well, he's nice to her friends.
Her family loves him. Which in turn makes you resent him even more. If
he were a jerk, at least you'd have an excuse to hate him.
He's quite handsome now. No wonder Janine and Leslie still drool over
him. You smile and nod as they babble on and on about how Karen's so
lucky to have a stud like him, trying not to cry or throw up. No, he's
lucky to have her, you silently scream.
The bell rings just then, and the hallways empty as everyone rushes to
their homerooms.
"Well, time for me to go. I'll see you in Spanish class?" he says. She
pouts a little, and it's unbearably cute. Then she smiles again and
looks just radiant.
"Okay," she says.
He kisses her, and you feel your stomach turn.
You can't sit through homeroom knowing she's not there and he is.
"Pamela?"
You force yourself to smile and turn around.
"Oh, hi Ricky."
"Are you coming?"
Resisting the urge to scream, you shake your head.
"Tell Mr. Crawford I wasn't feeling well."
His eyes are sincere when he asks what's wrong. You lie and tell him
you've got cramps, and he says he hopes you feel better soon.
Such a nice guy.
As soon as he's gone, you make a beeline for the bathroom and lock
yourself in a stall.
As you cry, you try to imagine what it would've been like had you asked
her to pretend-marry you before he did. Would she have accepted? Would
you have walked down the fake aisle with her in a tuxedo, or worn a
dress to match hers?
Six years later, would you be the one she smiled at, hated the thought
of being apart from during homeroom? The one carrying her books and
holding her hand in the hallway?
Would you be the one kissing those perfect lips?
Back then, you wanted her boyfriend all for yourself. Now you wish he'd
drop off the face of the earth.
Funny how things turn out.
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