Glossary: "if all the directions out are unlucky, it's best to stay put": There'll be more about this later on, but travel was much restricted in Heian days by the motions of certain malevolent Shinto deities, or kami. If one of these bullyboys was currently occupying the direction you wanted to travel in, it was recommended you either stay put, or pick a luckier direction that wouldn't take you too much out of your way. "The great avenue of Suzaku": Suzaku Oji, or Red Bird Avenue; the main thoroughfare of Heian Kyo, running north-south through the city's center, from the Rasho Mon ("castle gate") on the south to the Suzaku Mon ("Red Bird Gate") leading into the Nine-Fold Enclosure in the north. Suzaku Oji was very broad, about eighty yards, and lined with great willows; it must have been a sight to see in the springtime. "Nanashi": "no-name"; sort of like calling Yumi "Jane Doe." "Sugawara no Michizane": I can only scratch the surface here, unhappily. Sugawara no Michizane was an unusually talented and productive nobleman -- an educator of great distinction -- who was ultimately disgraced and sent away from the Heian court to be a minor official away in barbaric Kyushu -- "the kiss of death, in Heian politics," as Ivan Morris has it -- and died in exile. In succeeding years, the capital was visited by a series of natural disasters unusual in severity even for Japan, and it was believed that this was the work of the vengeful spirit of Sugawara. The Emperor had Sugawara posthumously reinstated, and deified, and the problems ceased. As a deity, he still has adherents even today, especially around exam times. His case is a little different from Tsujimoto's. "Yokibito": The good people; or more literally, the fortunate ones; the aristocracy of Heian Kyo, to which Sachiko most decidedly belongs.
IV. Welcome To The Family
"Not at all, not at all," Fujiwara-dono was saying as she went in, with Youko behind her. She was tall for a woman, almost as tall as Satou Sei, and lean and rangy so she looked taller. She was a bit of a shock to mundane eyes, as ancient as she looked, and as youthfully as she moved. "Don't fuss so, Mizuno-san. You have a pretty good instinct; I don't think you'd bother me over nothing. Oh, I say, young Ogasawara, is it?"
"Give you good day, Fujiwara-dono," Sachiko said with a deep bow.
"And the paddy-brat!" Fujiwara-dono said delightedly. "The brigand! The child of dung and circumstance! Keeping out of trouble, Satou-san? Or rather, d'you have any plans for getting out of it?"
"It's a waiting-game, Fujiwara-dono," Sei said. "Even when it's trouble you're in, if all the directions out are unlucky, it's best to stay put."
Fujiwara-dono laughed uproariously. "That's the spirit! But tell me, what sort of trouble has Ogasawara-kun managed to get herself into, with even such a veteran as yourself at her side?"
"If I am in trouble, Fujiwara-dono, it's my doing alone," Sachiko said a bit stiffly.
"Sa --" Youko was so upset she couldn't find the other syllables momentarily.
Fujiwara-dono waved it away, however. "A cat may look at a king," she said, "and perhaps a freshly-minted dragon may sauce an old monkey, though the dragon should cover its vulnerables well, afterward. Anyhow, let's have a look at this mysterious little famula. I shouldn't waste time like this." She strode out into the garden, the younger sorceresses tumbling along in her wake. As they went, Youko sent Sachiko a Look, which Sachiko pointedly failed to collect.
--
"So you're to be Sachiko-sama's imouto? Wonderful! How do you do? I'm Shimazu Yoshino."
The conversation had begun that way, with Yoshino-san just walking up and introducing herself. Yumi remembered Yoshino-san from the previous night. Yoshino-san was a Young Lady, to look at her, and Yumi was shy of her at first; she felt sure that a girl of Yoshino-san's station would look down on her. But Yoshino-san didn't seem to acknowledge any barriers between them, except perhaps the more ordinary barriers people raise as a precaution while they are getting to know one another, and truthfully, Yoshino-san didn't even seem to give those much thought; she hailed Yumi as an inevitable friend and confidante. It was very warming, and Yumi responded to this confidence happily, though with uncertainty... did she know how to be a friend and confidante?
Thinking about where she had been yesterday at this time, filthy and starving on the great avenue of Suzaku, dodging demons left and right, she was filled with astonishment at herself and everything around her. She was clean. She was wearing beautiful clothes. She was in a beautiful garden, with flowers of all kinds and colors, beautiful stones of all shapes, an iridescent pond, and a little waterfall that bubbled. She was currently petting a cat, who was beautiful and clean and friendly, unlike most cats she'd met (she'd always thought cats hated her, until she'd met this one), and talking to this Yoshino-san, who was also beautiful and clean and friendly, but much smarter than the cat, or at any rate a much better conversationalist. Yumi had a little trouble keeping up with Yoshino-san's conversation, but she enjoyed it immensely.
This had really been a strange day. The bath, being naked with Sachiko-sama, and the river demon; and then the shopping spree, which had worried Yumi terribly; she had been sure Sachiko-sama was spending far too much money on her, but on the other hand, Sachiko-sama seemed to be enjoying herself so much that Yumi didn't like to interrupt. Then there was the training session. Learning how to sit and stand and walk and talk properly wasn't all that difficult, though doing these things with "a certain air" was harder. This "air" was the true difficulty, in fact. She seemed ultimately capable of bringing it forth strongly enough that Sachiko-sama praised her, but she was not at all sure how she was doing it. If a man is praised for the smart way he has tied his sash, the first thing he might do is go back over the procedure in an effort to understand what he did, so that he can repeat it and, even if he garners no further praise from it, still add thereby to the number of praiseworthy things there are about himself. But if he tied the sash by habit, then he can't be sure of repeating the motions exactly, and he simply has to trust to said habit -- an unchancy partner. And then the next thing he finds is that he cannot tie his sash at all, because he is thinking too hard about how he ties it, and all a-sudden, for the first time in his life, no method for this simple, daily motion seems entirely satisfactory. Even if he should happen to stumble across the exact procedure which caused all the trouble by garnering the praise in the first place, likely he wouldn't recognize it, so self-critical has he become. And so he stands in his chamber, tying and re-tying his sash, muttering to himself, while somewhere nearby, and as far away as the moon, the party proceeds in its pleasant, poetical course, without him. Eventually all his tapers are burnt and he is plunged into darkness, and he continues by moonlight his solemn, futile quest for perfection.
Yumi knew nothing of men's sashes, but when Yoshino-san asked how the training session had gone, she managed to communicate something of this glumness in her reply.
"It's not that bad," Yoshino-san comforted Yumi. "Conveying the proper 'air' or 'feeling' with some action, that's a bit sticky. You can't explain to anyone exactly how you do it. And trusting to habit is dangerous because part of what you have to emanate is a sense of being present in every moment, of full consciousness without obsessive attachment and self-criticism. The tide can come in and go out while you're hunting around for exactly the right shade of refined feeling in a musical phrase, or a poetic phrase, or a brush-stroke in a painting, or in calligraphy. So you just fudge it the best you can in the moment, while people are watching, and make it something you work on in private. You can try for years to get these little things perfect."
Yumi gazed at Yoshino-san in astonished admiration. "You know all about this. You really are a Lady, Yoshino-san. Like Sachiko-sama!"
Yoshino-san laughed sweetly and knelt next to Yumi. The cat, distracted by this motion, put its paws on her knees. She tickled its ears delightedly. "Well, I've had Lady training," she owned. "But really, I come of a serving family. Rei-chan and I, our mothers were both in service to the Empress Minako. They were dearer to one another than to the Empress, or her other servants, and they ended up marrying into the same family, so that Rei-chan and I are cousins. Deportment isn't nearly as important among the sorceresses as it is at court. What Sachiko-sama taught you is for ceremonial occasions, in the Guild. If we were in service, however, it would be every day, and every public motion. Just as well we're not. I'm all right at it, but not really good enough for court, and I'd have to work like a dockhand just to be acceptable. Rei-chan is much better at it."
"Rei-chan is? Wasn't she --"
"The bold, wounded warrior of last night, yes. The fool." Yoshino-san seemed to be thinking of something else; she smiled, and blushed, and went on. "I know she doesn't look it, and her reputation doesn't include it -- they call her The General. But she's really a very gentle person, Rei-chan. If you know her long enough, closely enough, you'll see a very different kind of person."
"I see."
"That wasn't an invitation, mind you."
Yoshino-san had gone stern all of a sudden; Yumi had a sense of terrifying forces barely held in check.
"Oh, n-no, Yoshino-san -- Rei-sama is wonderful, of course --"
"Watch yourself!"
"-- and I wouldn't speak against her -- but, Sachiko-sama..." Yumi felt herself go red, and she looked away. It felt like impertinence to even speak Sachiko-sama's name, but it also felt wonderful.
"...I see. You like Sachiko-sama. Sorry, Yumi-san. I didn't mean to be harsh with you."
Yumi smiled. "It's all right, Yoshino-san." Yumi could hardly look at Yoshino-san, her face was so kind -- she turned away. "I'm not worthy of her. She insists that's foolery, but I feel it. I will try to be worthy. I just --"
"Oh, my. Yumi-san. If Sachiko-sama chose you, then you are worthy. Don't fret about that."
"Do you think so?" Yumi looked at Yoshino-san. "I mean -- well, you saw me, last night, Yoshino-san. You know what I was, before she touched me. Do you really think --"
"Really. Don't even think of it, Yumi-san. The Guild looks for magical talent, not for a wealthy upbringing. Rei-chan and I were fairly well-off, but we did come of a serving family. So did Mizuno Youko-sama. Several of the sorceresses I know came from peasant families, for Heaven's sake. And Satou Sei-sama was not only a peasant, but a foreigner. Really, don't worrit yourself about it, Yumi-san. You'll only do yourself an injury if you do."
Yumi hung her head a little. "Sorry, Yoshino-san."
Yoshino-san seemed to think a change of subject was in order. "Well, I was telling you Rei-chan is different inside from how she looks on the surface. Sachiko-sama is the same, in her own way. Of course, we're not in Sachiko-sama's class at all. She is a true Lady, and she can seem a bit cold and forbidding. Maybe you've already felt some of that."
Yumi nodded. Sachiko-sama seemed to go from cold to warm, and to cold again without warning. When she had taught Yumi about movement and repose, it had been like the chopsticks all over again, except that Sachiko-sama was... a little gentler. Or rather, she could feel Sachiko-sama trying to be gentler, which wasn't quite the same thing, except it was, with Sachiko-sama. The conclusion she was coming to was that Sachiko-sama was a bit like the weather, and her best approach was to take Sachiko-sama as she came. Earthquakes, tsunamis, wildfires and all. Like these choice disasters, Sachiko-sama seemed often to be unaware of the extent of her destructive power.
"The benefit there is, you couldn't have a better teacher in deportment. She knows it all, inside and out, and best of all, she doesn't much care for it deep down, so she's able to project just the right air of detachment, insouciance, with maybe just a hint of boredom at how good she is. That's priceless, that is. I know she can be harsh, and difficult. But there is an amazing sweetness and generosity to her, which is completely invisible when she's scowling at you, or even just giving you that blank look which seems to say, 'Come along, this will never do, I know you can make a better effort than this.' I've seen a kind, warm person under all that, and under the really scary fury she can get sometimes."
"So have I!" Yumi blurted.
"So, you know you have to be patient with her. And I can't really tell you how; I've never been her imouto. You have to work it out on your own. Do you understand?"
"I understand, Yoshino-san. Thank you!" Yumi meant it. She knew from Yoshino-san's face and voice that she was rooting for her. She had a friend in Yoshino-san, which she wasn't used to having, but there was a familiar feeling to it all the same. What does Yoshino-san hope for? She wanted to root for Yoshino-san too.
But now, Sachiko-sama and Mizuno Youko-sama and Satou-sama were coming out into the garden, being led by a stranger, an old woman, tall and formidable in appearance.
Sachiko-sama took the lead suddenly, and came straight to Yumi. "Yumi, here is Fujiwara Akiko-dono, a very great sorceress, and a member of our high council. She has a few questions for you."
Yumi was nervous -- what sort of questions? -- and the old woman was a bit frightening, with her sharp eyes and hooked mouth. But, feeling Sachiko-sama's hand on her shoulder, and seeing Satou-sama's friendly grin, and knowing that Yoshino-san was at her back, supporting her, she thought, I have nothing to be afraid of.
--
"I am at your service, Fujiwara Akiko-dono," Yumi said, bowing.
"I'd like to take her home and keep her as a pet," Fujiwara-dono murmured. Sachiko's glare was not lost on her; Fujiwara-dono smiled happily. Then she stopped smiling, put a hand to Yumi's forehead, and said, "Close your eyes, Yumi-kun."
Yumi closed her eyes.
The deepest magic is often rather a bore to watch, and it is a point of etiquette with sorceresses to wait in rapt attention while it plays out. This wait was a challenge even for the carefully folded and tempered good manners of Ogasawara Sachiko and Mizuno Youko. Sei, for her part, sat down on a rock, and only managed to stop herself whistling a shanty because the atmosphere really did seem all wrong for it.
The sun, just above the roof when they started, had gone just below it, and the sky was slowly and carefully donning her robes of the evening, before Fujiwara-dono, at last, lifted her hand from Yumi's forehead.
Yumi swayed a little.
Youko prided herself on her own single-mindedness when appropriate, but was still astonished by how quickly and smoothly Sachiko had encircled her little famula, giving her a steadying arm and a comforting hand.
Fujiwara-dono simply stood there, the index finger of her questioning hand meditatively at her lips. She appeared to be staring at the lowest branch of the blossoming cherry tree.
"Fujiwara-dono?" Youko said at last.
"Mmm?" said Fujiwara-dono, in a vaguely discontented tone.
"What do you think?" Sei asked.
"Mysterious girl," was Fujiwara-dono's offhand reply. "Mizuno-san, Ogasawara-kun, will you step along with me now?"
"Yumi is..." Sachiko was helping Yumi to a bench.
"Shimazu-kun, will you be so good?..."
Yoshino sat by Yumi and put an arm around her. "I'll take care of her, Sachiko-sama."
Still Sachiko hesitated. Youko started toward her, furious. But Fujiwara-dono beat her to it somehow; like a breeze soughing to Sachiko's side, she was taking Sachiko's arm with a murmured "May I have the honor?"
Sachiko didn't look at her. "Yumi?" she said.
Yumi looked up. "I'm all right, Mistress," she said. "Just a little dizzy."
"She'll be fine, Sachiko," Youko said. She managed to avoid making it a growl.
Sachiko nodded, and then said, "I am with you, Fujiwara-dono. I apologize for the delay."
--
Finding the palace of Kashiwagi the Younger had been easy; Tsujimoto had helped the lad choose the location in the first place. Convincing the servant at the gate that his master would want to see and speak with such a lowlife as himself was hard. It was also hard being treated as a possibly suspicious stranger even after the distant master of the house had acknowledged, apparently in a somewhat reluctant fashion, that he had, once upon a time, known someone by the name of Tsujimoto no Fujito.
And it was hard waiting in this bare, comfortless room. No cushion, no brazier. One or two wall hangings. A room for low-level conferences.
At long last, the inner door slid open, and a shadow emerged, walked forward, and seated itself on the floor, facing Tsujimoto, about ten paces away. The shadow seemed familiar, but Tsujimoto couldn't have sworn to the resemblance. The shutters were all closed. This conversation would be conducted in gloom, apparently.
"Could you not even light a taper?" he asked the shadow, assuming for the sake of bloody-mindedness that it was who he thought it was. "Strange, that my first conversation with you in over a year should be in such murk!..."
"I wish to be as much of not-having-this-conversation as is possible, consistent with the regrettable necessity of having this conversation," said the very familiar voice, much less familiarly than Tsujimoto had been used to hear it. "So it is you. I thought Benkei must have lost his mind for good, the poor man..."
"Is it so strange that I should come to visit you? Though I realize it has been some little time."
"It is strange, macabre, decidedly unexpected that a man who has been banished from the Imperial City should suddenly turn up within walking distance of the Red Bird Gate, yes. I'm trying to remember the last time a banished nobleman returned to the Capital without being expressly invited by the Emperor. Sugawara no Michizane is the only one who springs to mind, and his was rather a special case. Are you contemplating an ascent to godhood?"
"No, my sly little brother, merely a return to the place I truly belong. I need leverage to do it, and I have been seeking leverage. I would have got in touch with you earlier, but I didn't want to embarrass you. A former benefactor, now disgraced, clinging pitifully to one's sleeve -- is there anything more dreary? And I was trying to arrange things on my own. Today, however, there is a way you can help me, and so I came to try if you have any little reverence left for a man who once offered you a strong arm in a --"
"This is pitiful, aniki. Will you tell me just what it is you want of me?"
"Like that, eh? No chit-chat with minions. I'm to just tell you, without embellishment, and you'll say yes or no, and dismiss me?... Without even offering me so much as a --"
The door opened, and Tsujimoto fell quiet.
It was Benkei, and he had brought sake. He served both men quickly, and departed. Tsujimoto did not deign to look at the man, after the way he'd been treated at the gate.
Tsujimoto decided not to acknowledge the interruption. "Let me tell you about what I have been trying to do," he said.
He did this, with an economy he hoped would make Suguru feel cheap.
Suguru heard his aniki's story with skepticism, to start with, gradually turning to dismay. It had given him no little dismay that Fujito had turned up in the first place -- a man he had always admired, a man who had given Suguru much useful help and advice when Suguru was still new to courtly life, but a man whose approach to problem-solving was often extravagant. He had expected some crack-brained scheme, but soon found that his aniki had exceeded expectation. Sachiko... he breathed to himself.
"So, have you any thoughts on the matter?" Fujito-san asked when his tale was done, without so much as a pause. "Why would she be buying this girl clothes when the girl crept into her room only last night to try to steal from her?"
"Why, I don't know," Suguru said, mastering himself after only a brief pause. "I do know that her ill-tempered, occasionally frightening exterior conceals a heart that can be generous to a fault; I have known that since we were children together. And truthfully, she would have nothing to fear from such a thief, once caught, so if the thief made some appeal, by cunning or good fortune, to her generosity, it could easily happen. What concerns me more is your unbelievably gross breach of form."
"What?"
"Aniki, you have gone too far," Suguru clarified coldly.
"What?!" Tsujimoto said impatiently. "What is this that you think you're saying to me? What did I do that's so awful, you young whelp?"
"Sending a thief to steal from my fiancee -- and my dear cousin? Hiring some churl off the street to enter her bedchamber under cover of darkness? I think that qualifies as 'going too far.' What in the world were you thinking?"
"Suguru, I'm in a corner!" Tsujimoto burst out. "I need to get back in the Emperor's good graces, and I need that damned whatever-it-is to do it. What is it, anyway? Some kind of jewelry? It's fiendishly valuable, by all accounts; it's vital to the contract between the Emperor and the Sorceress's Guild. And it's currently in your cousin's possession. They're leaving soon, on this ridiculous expedition, and goodness knows if they will even come back! The thing could be lost forever!"
"This is a journey the guild undertakes every year," Suguru informed his sempai. "Sachiko herself has been away on Questionings twice that I know of. I don't see anything too dreadful happening. You could have waited until their return, and then had a try at using your filthy compatriots to steal it from the guild proper, once it had gone back into their holding. This would still be pretty low behavior, unworthy of anyone who aspired to be one of the Yokibito, or even to clean their shoes, but it would at least have had this advantage: that it would not have required you to send some goblin into my cousin's rooms to grub about in her private possessions with his filthy fingers, and perhaps not even limit himself to her possessions --"
"Damn your insolence! Anyway, the thief was a girl, not a grown man, as I told you. I'm pretty desperate, but I think I know what is owing to a friend such as you. I would never send a man into your cousin's room!"
"Excellent. So that's all right, then." Suguru took a sip of sake. His voice had a peculiar tremor Tsujimoto had heard only a few times in all their association: Suguru was concealing a terrible anger.
"Suguru, will you please let up on me? I'm doing my best in a difficult situation, and --"
"No. You are not doing your best. I'm not even so angry on Sachiko's behalf. My cousin is no ordinary noblewoman. If even the roughest of men went into her chambers specifically to take advantage of her, he would be lucky to come out with all his doings intact. It's not so much that you took such a course of action, as that you even considered it in the first place. Better men than you have known how to take exile. You either go away and live the life of a nobleman and a poet, in exile, or you find an honorable way to return to your Emperor's favor. Unless you're Tsujimoto no Fujito. Then you try to cheat and steal your way back into favor, and send lackeys to skulk about in noblewomen's bedchambers in the dead of night --"
"Enough! You do not dare to say such things about me!" Tsujimoto had leapt to his feet.
"Why not? It's what future generations will say about you." Suguru was quite calm now.
Tsujimoto sat back down. All the starch seemed to have gone out of him, like that. "Suguru, please just help me and don't natter at me so about trivialities..."
Suguru looked at his older friend, his aniki as-was. Still my aniki?... The last year had not been kind to Tsujimoto no Fujito, and his once-comely features had taken on a haggard, pinched look. In better days, he had looked after Suguru well, and had carefully ignored his painful yearnings, and that had always been a disappointment, but somehow he had still hoped...
No, Suguru told himself firmly. The man you wanted was the man you met when you were fifteen years old. That man is gone, somewhere, and this untidy stranger has taken his place... Was aniki ever real to begin with? Or did I dream him?
"I don't know what you think I can do about any of this," Suguru said at last. "I don't know any thieves, unlike you. You're much better placed for hiring one than I. My cousin and I have been on delicate terms since around the time she started growing breasts, and if I so much as approach her she's immediately on her guard. So what do we do?"
"Can you make any excuse to see her before she goes into the wilds?"
"In fact, the Dance is tomorrow, and the Guild is expected to send a delegation into the enclosure. I imagine she'll be along. I think she's the only Ogasawara the Guild currently has. Why?"
"You will speak to her?"
"I have to speak to her. A family matter. What do you --"
"That girl will be with her. The beggar-girl, the tramp. Can you spirit her away?"
Suguru stared.
"I need to talk to her."
"Aniki, what earthly good is that going to do?"
"She's supposed to be stealing that egg for me --"
"You said yourself that you followed them. They were shopping together. Sachiko was buying her clothes. For good or ill, Sachiko has taken her under her wing. The girl has had the most marvellous stroke of good luck imaginable: Sachiko has caught her, forgiven her, and given her a place, and I can testify that anyone under Sachiko's protection has little to fear from the run of humanity. Why should the girl then go ahead and steal the egg for you? Trade in this great good luck she's had -- for what? You were going to give her the price of a meal, weren't you?"
"I have my ways. Suguru, please just do this thing for me. The Dance is usually held in the open area southwest of the Pure and Fresh Palace, is it not? There must be all sorts of places around there you could take her to, which would be relatively uninhabited, with everybody else at the Dance. Bring the girl to a place we will arrange; I will be waiting; I will take care of the rest."
"Aniki --"
"Yes. 'Aniki.' I am asking you this as your elder brother."
Suguru sat there. He was stuck. There were all sorts of things he was sure Fujito wasn't telling him. With all he did know, he could see no way this enterprise could come to any good. But he was still obliged to Tsujimoto no Fujito too many ways to refuse him.
--
"Remarkable," was the first thing Fujiwara-dono murmured when they were out of earshot. She, Sachiko, and Youko were walking around the perimeter of the garden, leaving Yumi, Yoshino-chan, and Sei on the bench at its center.
"What is remarkable, Fujiwara-dono?" Sachiko asked.
"The fact that she is your famula, coupled with how completely hers you are. She is also devoted to you, but that's natural in a famula, or at least a state devoutly to be wished for. Usually the devotion does not run so strongly the other way. Do you wonder about that, Ogasawara-kun?"
"No," Sachiko said. She ignored a glare from Youko. "To be brutally honest, no, I don't wonder about it at all. Does it seem suspect or, or dangerous, to you for some reason, Fujiwara-dono?"
"By itself, it wouldn't," said Fujiwara-dono, with a mildness that seemed not to acknowledge the understated yet undeniable hostility in Sachiko's manner. "And it doesn't really seem suspect or, or dangerous in context with its little friends, just faintly worrying."
"Is there anything amiss with Yumi?" Youko asked, with a meaning look at Sachiko, hoping her dear imouto would not speak again until she had herself under control.
"No," Fujiwara-dono said, pausing to subject a dogwood blossom to what seemed like a thoroughgoing critical examination. "Actually, what does seem amiss is how little there is that seems amiss. I've seldom encountered such an untroubled mind, and I wouldn't have expected it in someone who had been living on the street until yesterday. She's a sweet, goodhearted girl. She's determined to do her best for you, Ogasawara-kun, whatever tasks you lay upon her. She met you less than a day ago, and yet you are at the center of her thoughts, as if you had always been there. All roads lead to Sachiko-sama!... It's all seamlessly there in her head. Too believable to be quite believable. I would give a monkey to have been able to examine her yesterday before she met you. Two monkeys, indeed! and a dragon thrown in!..."
"But is she dangerous?" Youko insisted.
"Hm. If there's danger in that head, it's been hidden there by someone much cleverer than I. I suppose she might cause trouble without meaning to, but there's never been a less duplicitous spirit. The only thing that bothers me about that non-duplicitousness is that it crops up in the last place you'd expect to find it: in a girl off the streets who suddenly becomes famula to a Dragon-level sorceress on the eve of a Questioning. Do you take my meaning, here, Ogasawara-kun?"
"I apologize if my manner has been at all offensive, Fujiwara-dono." Sachiko seemed to have regained her composure.
"My girl, I haven't the faintest idea what you mean." There was a gentle smile on Fujiwara-dono's gentle face.
--
"Is Mistress in trouble?" Yumi-san asked.
"No," Yoshino told her. "I don't think so." She was worried. Yumi-san had been so happy, before, and such pleasant company. Now she was disturbed, restless, and Yoshino couldn't figure out how to comfort her. They had watched the colloquy circumambulating the garden, and it was clear that Sachiko-sama and Youko-sama were at odds with one another, and Fujiwara-dono was relentlessly pursuing some point that seemed important to her. Yumi-san seemed to be very sensitive to their motions -- she followed with her eyes the rises and the sweeps of their disputing hands -- and she seemed certain that the dispute was about herself.
"Am I causing problems for her?" Yumi-san's wide eyes were shining with unshed tears.
"Yumi-san, enough," Yoshino said, squeezing her shoulder. "She'll be fine. Youko-sama is her teacher, her big sister, her friend. Fujiwara-dono is a great sorceress and a just person. Even if, well, she is a bit strange."
"Yoshino's right," Sei said. She had been listening to this little Yumi witter about Sachiko for several minutes now, had found it alternately tiresome and amusing, and had decided that she liked Yumi a lot, and unfortunately her preferred procedure for relating to a girl she liked a lot was now asserting itself. "They're probably just going to set her on fire, a little. Nothing to worry about."
"No! No, no --" Yumi looked horrified.
"Sei!" Yoshino's glare promised Sei's destruction.
"You mustn't worry, little sweetheart," Sei said happily. "Sachiko's been set on fire a great many times. She can tough it out."
--
"This girl, and this girl alone, is to be your famula?" Fujiwara-dono wanted clarification.
"More," Sachiko said. "I would like to make her my soror mystica, as soon as she knows enough magic to pass the entrance exam."
"She has talent?" Youko raised an eyebrow.
"I haven't tested her yet, but I think she does, yes. Like calls to like. But I don't know how much."
"Hum!" Fujiwara-dono said, apropos of nothing obvious.
Sachiko sighed. "I wanted very much to come on the Questioning. Youko-sama had a particular duty she wanted me to perform. But I fear, Fujiwara-dono, that if my choice is between casting Yumi off, or sitting out the Questioning --"
"-- you're staying home," Youko broke in impatiently. "I know, Sachiko. You made that clear before. And I don't think you're wrong to take that stand. In fact I'm pleased to hear you take it; if Yumi's your imouto, she should be as important to you as you were to me. Even so, your behavior --"
"Girls, girls," said Fujiwara-dono in faintly shocked tones. "There is no need for anyone to sit out the Questioning. I should be most pleased to see young Yumi come along. As for her becoming your soror mystica, Ogasawara-kun, I think you might profitably wait on that until we get back from the Sun Gorge, but there's nothing against teaching her magic -- indeed, from my examination of her, Mizuno-san, I can say that she does seem to have some potential. You could start on that right away, for all of me. She is going to need another name, of course. Has she no family name?"
"None that she remembers," Sachiko said, regarding Fujiwara-dono with some disquiet. "She doesn't even seem to remember what town she might have come from."
"Very well, then. We can investigate that later. Just call her Nanashi, for now. Dear little Nanashi Yumi. Can she sing?"
"Yes," Sachiko said softly. "Not a trained voice, but a voice worth training. Sweet and pure, like a little bird."
Youko sighed discontentedly.
"Excellent," said Fujiwara-dono. "Very well, then --"
"But Fujiwara-dono," Youko said. "What about -- what you were saying --"
"That is still a concern. It is good that you are concerned about it, Mizuno-san. I am concerned about it also. So long as we are concerned, and aware, we will not be likely to be surprised by any developments, should they develop. You follow?"
"Perhaps," Youko said, desperately hoping that this was indeed the case. "But if -- if there's any possibility, however vague, of danger -- you don't think it would be safer to simply leave them at home?"
"In Heian Kyo?" Fujiwara-dono's scraggly grey eyebrows shot up. "The seat of the Emperor? With all the most powerful wizards, except Ogasawara-kun, out of town?"
Youko felt an abyss open up inside her. Sachiko got a most peculiar expression on her face, and turned away. She...why, she's laughing at me, in Heaven's name. Ogasawara Sachiko is having a bout of uncontrollable mirth.
Youko was so astonished by this that she forgot to be offended.
Fujiwara-dono was giving Youko a mild, patient look. "I...had not thought of it that way," Youko said, pulling herself together. "Very well, then. But, Fujiwara-dono, the person closest to the danger, if danger there be, will be Ogasawara-kun. Do you trust her with such a responsibility?"
"She's your imouto. Do you?" was Fujiwara-dono's response.
"I trust her with many things. She is powerful, as you say, and she seems to grow more skillful by the day, and she takes great care in how she discharges her duties, or, well, most of the time. But..." Youko hated the look Sachiko was giving her. It was a calm, understanding look. Youko would have felt better had the look contained some of the hatred and derision she felt she deserved.
--
"One time, Sachiko caught a shooting star in her mouth and spat it back at God. Fire is nothing to her. They'll really only set her on fire because they love to watch her defy the fire demons. Really, Yumi. Please don't cry," Sei was saying. She was beginning to wonder if shutting up would be a good idea. If Yumi was still crying when Sachiko came back, why, the Ogasawara might throw a bit of a wobbler.
"Th -- they m -- m -- mustn't --" Yumi was barely coherent.
"Yumi, Sei lies," Yoshino said. "She lies all the time. She can't help it. And it's not because she's a bad person. She's a very good person. She just has no self-control."
"That's right!" Sei cried. "That's absolutely right! No self-control! I've chided myself for it, many a time! I'm impossible, Yumi! Or at least highly unlikely! Just ask Sachiko!" Sei was scrabbling desperately in various pockets, to see if she had any sweets.
--
"Ogasawara-kun," said Fujiwara-dono, turning to address Sachiko.
"Yes, Fujiwara-dono," said Sachiko, in a ready-to-know-your-will-with-me posture.
"You understand that Mizuno-san isn't trying to undermine you or do the dirty on you in any way whatever? She's only worried about you."
"I understand that, Fujiwara-dono." She gave Youko a loving look, and Youko's shame deepened.
"I'm not worried about you, however," Fujiwara-dono went on.
"No, Fujiwara-dono?"
"You're the sort of person who tends to land on her feet. Not that you never make mistakes, but it's rare, and even when you do, things usually work out so that you don't have to pay for them. Others are more than happy to pay for you."
"Oh?..."
"But, and this is what I like about you, you're not content to just sit back and let them. Anyway, the worst thing about you is that I can't always trust you to know what's right."
"Really..."
"Really! Mind you, I do trust you to do the right thing. You will always try to do the right thing, and this is simply a thing about you. It's just that I don't trust you to always know what the right thing is."
"I see."
"But your friends -- especially Satou-san -- will know. And they will tell you. So that all works out well."
"Perhaps...I am dreaming," Sachiko said hesitantly, after a stunned pause, "or perhaps there was some vile drug in the tea Youko-sama gave me earlier, but I thought you said you trusted Satou-san to know better than I what was right."
Fujiwara-dono's face sharpened to terrifying alertness. "Mizuno-san?"
"Yes, Fujiwara-dono?"
"Did you drug Ogasawara-kun's tea?"
"...I did not, Fujiwara-dono."
"Oh. That's all right, then." Fujiwara-dono's face relaxed again. "And I'm pretty sure you're not dreaming, Ogasawara-kun; after all, what would I be doing in your dream? Unless it were a nightmare, of course..."
"Ogasawara-kun's astonishment is not unnatural, Fujiwara-dono," Youko said gently. "I share it, for one." Satou Sei was a dear good friend to Youko, but not a person she would ordinarily look to for moral arbitrement.
Fujiwara-dono chuckled good-naturedly. "Oh, I realize that Satou-san's approach is, as a whole, and taking one part with another, as you might say -- individual. Rather. But you may, one day, know what I am talking about."
"I suppose I may," Sachiko said, a bit doubtfully.
"And when you do, please tell me," Fujiwara-dono added, smiling at nothing in a friendly way. "I would be interested to know."
Youko looked at Sachiko. Sachiko looked at Youko.
"You'll be the first one we tell, Fujiwara-dono," Youko said carefully.
Sachiko's expression changed. She was staring at the middle of the garden.
"Sachiko?..." Youko wondered.
"What in Heaven's name?...She's crying!" Sachiko broke into a most unladylike run, her robes flapping behind her as she went.
Youko stood with Fujiwara-dono, watching Sachiko go.
"Your chick is leaving the nest, Mizuno-san," said Fujiwara-dono.
"She has been, for some time."
"When does it start? I've often wondered..."
"I haven't your fullness of experience, Fujiwara-dono. With Sachiko, it started almost immediately. She was always somewhere else, it seemed."
"Yes. With all she's learned, she has yet to learn to just be where she is."
"Hers was an unhappy home," Youko said defensively.
"How many people have a happy home? We are all born with a father and a mother. And, for some reason, we are all born expecting them to be perfect. They're just people, though, doing the best they can. What a pity. She didn't like the look of the marriage they arranged for her. I've never married, but I've known a lot of women who did, and I don't think I ever knew one who didn't have some complaint. And most of our sorceresses leave the Guild while they're still marriageable, and tell us it wasn't what they'd wanted it to be. Being a sorceress is no good, being a wife is no good. So take your vows and have your head shaved. What the hell do they all expect of life?"
"I really don't know, Fujiwara-dono. They're all mad, I expect." Youko sometimes wondered whether Fujiwara-dono had ever been young, but positing that she had, doubted the old lunatic could have expressed such an opinion in her youth. The Fujiwaras were reputedly a difficult family, and uncompromising about conjoining their daughters with whomever seemed expedient, particularly key members of the Imperial family, no matter how feckless, or hideous, or clearly-only-five-years-old they might be. The Fujiwaras were most assiduous and implacable practitioners of the art of marriage politics. Fujiwara-dono must have only just escaped... Just at the edge of hearing, a stern Sachiko was calming a weeping Yumi while facing off an only-half-repentant Sei, as a miserable Yoshino looked on. "You are not allowed to speak to her ever again," Sachiko was telling Sei. "Do you really think Sei is a good guide for her?" Youko went on. "In practical matters, of course, she couldn't do much better. But in moral ones?"
"There is gradation in all things, and we attach levels of importance to different questions. In the minor things, perhaps not, but I don't expect Ogasawara-kun will be facing many of those in the immediate future. And Satou-san...well, I wouldn't trust Satou-san with my jewelry. But I'd trust her with my sister. Do you understand?"
Youko thought about it, and thought that might have been the sanest thing Fujiwara-dono had ever said in her presence.
--
Tsujimoto no Fujito stood still on the porch of the small, rude dwelling he shared with Shinji-kun and the ailing Ichiki-san.
The door was open, and through it he could see Shinji-kun, seated, and speaking with a smaller man, also seated, and facing him. It was a very intense conference, as they were leaning close to one another. There was a gleam in Shinji-kun's eye which Tsujimoto did not like at all.
Carefully, Tsujimoto turned around, and was going to step off the porch -- if he stood under the eaves, by the shutters, he might be able to have a discreet listen --
"Where are you going, Tsuji-sama?"
He looked back. Shinji-kun was still facing the other man. He had not moved at all, as far as Tsujimoto could tell.
"I... er..."
"Come in, I beg, Tsuji-sama. Join the conversation, if it please you."
Warily, Tsujimoto complied. Shinji-kun was satirizing courtly speech. The arrangement had always been that Tsujimoto would take Shinji-kun and Ichiki-san along when he returned to courtly life, that they would be his servants, and so he had taught them things that it would be useful for them to know when this state was obtained. But Shinji-kun was acting more and more lately like a man who knew all that, and didn't care.
Shinji-kun, on Tsujimoto's right, was facing east, and the stranger was facing west. Tsujimoto sat between and to the north of them, facing south.
There was a silence, after he sat. He waited. Shinji-kun had asked him to join in, so he would wait for Shinji-kun to speak first. In old times, when he was a courtier, he would likely have started speaking first, so as to take the initiative in whatever struggle was afoot, but out here he had learned to be cagier.
"Try the wine," Shinji-kun said.
There was wine, a largish flask and a few little cups, on the floor between them. Tsujimoto hadn't liked to take it uninvited, considering that he seemed to be on such thin ice around here, lately. But now he took the flask. Cool, though not cold. He poured himself a cup, to the brim. He tossed it back.
"Excellent," he pronounced it. He wasn't lying. It wasn't as good as the sake he'd drunk with Suguru a little earlier, but it was much better than he'd expected to ever drink in this house.
"I'm glad you appreciate it, a man of your education," Shinji-kun said sardonically. "I thought it was raaather good, though I suspect you've had much better. I was saving it for a special occasion, an occasion I now fear will never come to pass. So I may as well drink it up now! I have a feeling that sake and friendly little parties will soon be a thing of the past with me."
Tsujimoto was irked by Shinji-kun's behavior, but was not currently in a position where he could resent it with complete freedom, and anyway, he wanted to know what was on Shinji-kun's mind. So he waited some more.
"Toshi-san here is a thief, like us, Tsuji-sama. He's been telling me interesting things. It's like Aniki always told me: there are wheels within wheels, things are always moving, hopping, happening, where we can't see, things we'd love to know if only... and here comes Toshi-san, telling us. Usually we can't hope for a Toshi."
"People wouldn't hope for Toshi, normally," Toshi-san opined.
"Perhaps not, no more than they'd hope for me or Ichiki-sama," Shinji agreed. "But tell Tsuji-sama what you've been telling me, Toshi-san."
"Aaaah!" Toshi-san turned a slightly cockeyed gaze upon Tsujimoto, who tried to look pleased by this unexpected benison. "The fast-and-rude version, as I fear Shinji-san's patience was tried a bit before, by my wandering mind --"
"Not at all," Shinji-kun interposed.
"-- but what it amounts to is, you've been rumbled, old mate. The sorceress Satou Sei is on your trail, Tsuji-sama. And even if I don't tell her where you are, she will find you. She's not one to give up, she's not one to miss anything, she's no-one you want to cross."
"And yet! Here is Toshi-san, crossing her," Shinji-kun interposed again. He tossed back some sake. "Hoooo!"
"I prefer to think of it as keeping my options open," Toshi-san said. "I know Ichiki-san a little, and we've been friendly, and he's cut me in on a good thing, here and there, over the years. I thought I ought to at least mention that Satou is a-hunting of you. She's much more interested in you, Tsuji-sama. But if she went for you, Shinji-san or Ichiki-san might get caught in her net as well, and I wouldn't be happy to have that on my conscience. So I come here to pass the word. And I find poor Ichiki-san's not doing so well."
"Cut down, in the prime of life. The best man I ever knew," Shinji-kun said morosely. More sake. No "Hoooo!" this time. Much of his buoyant venom seemed to have deserted him suddenly.
"Do you want me to leave, Shinji-kun?" Tsujimoto asked. He wanted this clear. He would prefer to keep his place here, if possible, but had more confidence he could get along on his own now than a year earlier, and he wanted to keep his dignity.
"No! Not at all! Heaven forfend!" Shinji-kun said overdramatically. Tsujimoto couldn't tell if it was the sake, or Shinji-kun's heavy-handed sense of satire reasserting itself. "Toshi-san, you see, has given us this information out of the goodness of his heart, and a sense of camaraderie. But he can't tell us specifics, as to the Satou woman's plans for us, or assist us in any other way, without some remuneration on our part. The Satou woman has already given him earnest money, you see. Only those stupid little coins, but they can be traded for rice, if you know where to go. But you see, if we give him something too, then we can enlist him on our side, and he can tell us more. So, you going to give him something?"
"I have to give him something?" Tsujimoto said quickly.
"It is you the sorceress is after," Shinji-kun replied, just as quickly.
Tsujimoto gave Shinji-kun a hard look, and decided he wasn't as drunk as he appeared to be. "I don't have a lot of rice at the moment," he said doubtfully.
"Doesn't have to be rice," Toshi-san said gently. "The foreign woman didn't give me rice, after all. Some item of equivalent value will do the trick nicely."
"I think I can arrange that," Tsujimoto said, consideringly. "I just need to pay someone a visit, Shinji-kun." He stood.
"Not a problem," said Shinji-kun, pouring yet more sake. "Give old Keiko my greetings, while you're there."
Tsujimoto managed not to so much as break stride on his way out. So Shinji-kun knew where he had been lodging his valuables. Fine. He could see he wasn't trusted. If he could turn things around -- and he was sure he still could, especially if old Keiko was willing to help him with her particular skills, as well as produce his valuable linen -- he wasn't sure he'd want Shinji-kun as a servant. Even if he still liked Shinji-kun, he didn't think Shinji-kun would make a good servant. Still, he'd have to be sure to give him something. That was only fair. A kick on his uppity bottom suggested itself...
--
The common room in the little suite occupied by the sorceresses' contingent at the Mountain Lily Inn contained one feature not shared by the other rooms in that establishment: a small portable stove.
Tea was one of many cultural items that had been imported from China en masse, centuries earlier, and one of the ones that had never caught on in Nihon. It was a taste, however, that many sorceresses picked up in their travels, and Sei-san, Rei-san, and Sachiko all had a definite appreciation for the stuff. But however they wheedled Goben the innkeeper, he always found some very polite way of declining to serve them tea. They didn't know exactly why he was so set against an apparently harmless infusion, but Sei-san suspected that, to him, the leaves simply had a foreign smell, and he didn't like them in his kitchen.
They had permission to have certain equipment, including the stove, in their rooms, because such an item was occasionally of use in their studies. But the stove was mainly used by them for boiling water and pouring it over dried leaves. And Yumi, the newest member of this little coven, was currently engaged in learning this subversive, dangerous art.
Yumi brought the tea to the kotatsu, carefully balancing the tray. She set it down. She poured five cups. She knelt at last at the corner, next to Sachiko.
Everyone tasted the tea.
"Excellent," was Sei-san's opinion.
"I love this blend," Yoshino-chan said. "Strong and wild-tasting."
"It's from Tenjiku," Sachiko said.
"It's good," Rei-san said. "Well-steeped, flavorful. And piping hot."
"Yes." Sachiko smiled. "Well done, Yumi."
"Thank you, Mistress!"
"Have a sip from your own, why don't you?"
"Yes, Mistress." Yumi carefully took her cup as Sachiko had shown her, and sipped.
Rei-san and Sei-san moved into an easy discussion of the coming expedition and what sort of equipment would be required. Yoshino-chan occasionally chimed in. Yumi watched and listened, Sachiko noted, with some alertness and worry.
"I haven't explained to you yet," she said, turning to Yumi.
"Mistress?"
"About the Questioning. I was going to tell you later. It's later."
"Yes, Mistress."
"Well, it involves leaving the Capital. We will be going northeast, into the wilds of eastern Honshu."
"Really?" Yumi was still, and then shivered a little. "Aren't there monsters there, Mistress?"
"A few," Sachiko said, laying a hand on Yumi's knee.
"I won't...get eaten?"
Sachiko laughed, and raised her hand to Yumi's hair, which was loosened now from its barrette. It was smooth, silky. "Yumi, leaving the capital is always dangerous. If you or I went into the wilds alone, getting eaten would always be a possibility. But we are not going alone. We are going with the united might of the Dragon Order. So your chances of getting eaten are about nil, as long as you stick with me."
Ah, she had touched Yumi, fool that she was, and it was difficult to stop touching Yumi once she had started... She deliberately brought the hand back to her own knee.
Yumi folded her hands in her own lap, and looked at her knees.
This was serious. Sachiko had to explain this; it was her duty to inform Yumi... She looked about. There were rice crackers on the table. Yumi liked those, but apparently still didn't feel right about taking anything she hadn't been bidden to take. The rice crackers would help. "Very well," Sachiko went on. "We will be travelling to a particular mountain. This mountain has a deep gorge running down one side, and water falling down it. About halfway up this gorge, there is a cave. A very wise person lives in this cave. A descendant of Amaterasu's, through a different line than the Emperor, or so it is rumored. Best not to talk about that much, though."
"Yes, Mistress."
Sachiko took a rice cracker and put it to Yumi's lips. Yumi gently bit off half of it. Sachiko ate the rest.
"This wise person will come out of her cave. She will ask the Grand Mugwump what she does here, with the full dragon waving like a banner behind her. The Grand Mugwump -- Youko-sama, you met her to-day --"
"Dragon Order Grand Mugwump Dragon Sorceress Winging Cranes Mizuno Youko-sama, Mistress," Yumi affirmed.
That earned Yumi another half a cracker.
Once Sachiko had finished her own half, she said, "Yes, Yumi. Youko-sama. She will say that she has come to make the Questioning, with her order for witness. The wise person will say, then let us make it, hook or crook."
"And then, Mistress?"
"Then we sing."
"What?"
Sachiko smiled at Yumi's astonishment. "Well, Fujiwara-dono and Youko-sama, perhaps with a few chosen assistants -- though they're not obligated to take anyone with them -- will sit at the fire with the wise person and try conclusions, play with her at question-and-answer. But the rest of us will spend most of the next two days singing." Sachiko had another cracker at the ready. "Can you guess why, Yumi?"
"I really don't know, Mistress..." Yumi frowned at the kotatsu, and then looked up hopefully at Sachiko. "Is it because the wise person likes singing?"
Sachiko gasped. "Very good! Oh, there are other reasons, rituals, and so forth, but that is the main reason. You're clever, Yumi..." Sachiko's errant hand went again to Yumi's cheek as she fed her the cracker. Yumi closed her eyes at the touch.
They both became aware of tittering, and turned their heads. Yoshino-chan had a hand to her mouth. Rei-san was smiling gently. Sei-san's pleasant scarred face was somewhat open-mouthed, with a considering frown above the open mouth.
"What is the matter?" Sachiko wondered irritably.
"Nothing," Rei-san said, sighing sweetly.
"Nothing's the matter, really," Yoshino-chan piped up.
"Good..." Sachiko turned to Sei-san.
"You feed her crackers in a way that makes me feel I shouldn't be watching," Sei-san said bluntly.
"Then you are invited not to watch," Sachiko answered stiffly.
"I am invited not to watch the goddess of Love descend in a pink cloud with cherubim and seraphim harping and horning her to earth. Very well, then." Sei-san rolled her eyes and turned her head away theatrically.
"Sachiko-sama, I've never seen you like this," Yoshino-chan giggled. "It's adorable."
Sachiko blushed. "Th -- that's enough of that!" She felt considerably put out. These were her friends, the best -- the only -- friends she had, but she was used to more respect from them, more distance. She turned her glare upon Yumi --
-- no, don't glare at Yumi! --
-- but Yumi was looking carefully at the bit of straw mat between them.
"Shall I make more tea, Mistress?" Yumi asked.
Sachiko sighed, her dignity restored somehow. "Please do, Yumi. Thank you."
Yumi rose and crossed the room to the stove.
"You shouldn't take it out on Yumi-san, Sachiko-sama," Yoshino-chan said quietly.
"Eh? Take what out on her? I didn't!" Sachiko hissed.
"You didn't," Sei-san agreed, "but it was a near thing. Hmmm. Yumi already knows you that well. Isn't that interesting?"
"Are you going to teach her, Sachiko?" Rei-san asked quickly.
Sachiko was a bit bewildered by the shift in topic. "Teach her?... Of course. She must serve me..."
"Magic," Rei-san clarified. "Yoshino told me about what happened with Fujiwara-dono earlier."
"I see. Yes, I mean to teach her what I can. We're going to make a start on it tomorrow morning."
"What will you teach her?" Yoshino-chan was eager to hear.
"Everything I know," Sachiko said drily, "but we'll start with a few little things that will be practical for the journey."
"Will you mind if I make a few little suggestions that way?" Sei-san sounded more cautious than Sachiko was used to hearing her. Rei-san and Yoshino-chan looked at her curiously.
"I've mostly planned the lesson," Sachiko said, "but I'll be happy to hear your suggestions, Sei-san."
She found her three good friends staring at her, then looking away so as to avoid rudeness. They hadn't been expecting to hear that, it seemed.
...She'd been putting this off. It would hurt, and it would cost her, but her own needs were not important at this time.
"Sei-san. Rei-san. Yoshino-chan. I'm... bad at dealing with people."
Sei-san's eyebrows went up. Yoshino-chan had to stifle another giggle. "Yoshino!" Rei-san hissed.
Steeling herself, Sachiko went on. "I was much worse when I first came here from my father's house. The three of you... well, you put up with a lot from me, and you taught me a lot, and somehow... well, probably you were only doing what seemed natural to you. I doubt I'm very important to you..."
They looked faintly appalled. She had difficulty looking at them now. Mostly staring at the kotatsu, she went on:
"Yumi is already better at dealing with people than I will probably ever be. But she may need your help in other ways. She may need some kinds of help that... I wouldn't be able to give her."
Well, that had hurt to say. The rest of this would be comparatively easy:
"Be as much help to her as you were to me. Be her friends, as you have been mine. If you will do that -- I will consider that you have earned any and all services I could perform for you in all of my life.
"I beg of you."
Sei-san had started to smirk, then covered her eyes with one hand, and now lay back on the straw, her legs still crossed under the kotatsu. The smirk had never left her face. She waved the hand that wasn't over her eyes. "Spit in our palms and seal it with a handshake. A bargain, sir," she drawled.
Yoshino-chan, on the other hand, looked like she was about to cry. And Rei-san's smile had come back.
"We were going to anyway, Sachiko," Rei-san said gently. "But thanks for asking."
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