By divine providence The car stopped, a hair's breadth from where
Th‚rŠse had fallen in the road. I stood there, transfixed in horror, my
hands moving to my mouth.
The first thing I heard was a car door, opening and slamming, and a
man's voice shouting:
--Cƒlisse!
--
Les filles du lys de la montagne, chapter six
--
A Maria-sama ga miteru ("Marimite") fanfic by Paul Corrigan
--
Marimite concept devised by Oyuki Konno
--
I was still too much in shock to move, and I stood there, as a Canadian
man in his forties, wearing jeans and a Montreal Canadiens jacket,
stormed up to me, not even looking at where Th‚rŠse lay in the road, and
began screaming at me:
--H‚, connasse, que c'est que tu sacres, to‚? Tu veux-tu tuer quelqu'un
ou quoi? Tu viens de jeter quelqu'un dans'l'rue comme ‡a, t'es-tu
malade? Calvaire!
--Monsieur...pardon...ano...I started.
--Farme-la, cƒlisse! C'est mo‚ qui parle!
--Ne lui parlez pas comme ‡a, cher monsieur!
--Hein?
The man turned to where Th‚rŠse lay in the road, as if noticing her for
the first time.
--Monsieur! Laisse-la tranquille, monsieur! Ils sont sacr‚s,
ces-mots-l…! Ne lui dites pas ces mots comme ‡a!
--Quoi? Que c'est que tu racontes, to‚?
--L'hostie, c'est le corps du Christ! C'est un mot sacr‚, monsieur!
--Ah, sacrament, une maudite catho...! Sacr‚...! Ha ha ha!
The man laughed, without mirth. Th‚rŠse had sat up a bit and was looking
at us, looking angrier at the man than at me.
--Ce malade-l… t'a sacr‚e en avant de mon char! Pis tu veux me parler de
la religion?
The passenger door opened.
--Ch‚ri! Arrˆte! said a woman's voice. Qu'est-ce que tu as?
It was a black woman in her early thirties, quite pretty, in a sweater
and jeans. The man turned towards her.
--Que c'est que j'ai, mo‚? J'ai failli avoir une crise cardiaque, c'est
‡a ce que j'ai!
--La fille saigne dans la rue et tu veux terroriser son amie? A quoi ‡a
sert? Tu vois pas qu'elle te comprend pas?
The woman knelt down beside Th‚rŠse.
--€a va, mademoiselle?
--Oui.
--Tiens-moi la main que je te mets debout.
Th‚rŠse took it, and the woman helped her up. As far as I could tell,
no, I wasn't hurt. Through divine providence I had gotten away with just
a fright.
--Tu es s–re que ‡a va? Tu n'es pas bless‚e?
--Non. Excusez mon amie, c'‚tait un accident.
Apparently satisfied Th‚rŠse wasn't injured, the man backed away from
me, scowling. The woman dusted Th‚rŠse off a bit, then looked at me,
frowning.
--Toi, tu parles fran‡ais?
--Non.
--Do you speak English?
--Yes...a bit, I said.
--You nearly gave my husband a heart attack. What on earth did you think
you were doing? Your friend could have been killed!
--I am very sorry, I said, bowing very low.
Th‚rŠse joined me back on the sidewalk, and stood by my side.
--It was an accident, said Th‚rŠse, in English. Don't be angry with her,
please. It was my fault.
The woman looked at us both, and the anger faded from her face.
--All right. Be more careful in future. Take care now.
The woman got back in the car, her husband following her, adding the
coda to the episode, almost spitting:
--Sacrament!
He got in to the car, re-started it, and quickly drove away.
--Th‚rŠse, I said at last, when the car was out of sight, bowing low
again, I'm so sorry...
--Why are you apologizing?
I looked up. Th‚rŠse was looking at me over, ashamed, as if she had
pushed me into the road rather than the other way around. She offered me
her hand.
--I'd better take you back, said Th‚rŠse. I imagine Sei is waiting for
you.
Behind her head I could clearly see the green dome of the Oratoire
Saint-Joseph.
--
--Neuf cents quarante huit, neuf cents quarante huit, communiquez.
We took the escalator back down into Villa-Maria station in silence,
walking past the coloured circles, turning back like a key does in a
lock, as if locking a door behind us. Behind her.
We had just missed the last train towards Henri-Bourassa, so we sat on
the platform in silence for a few minutes, Th‚rŠse not looking at me.
Not angry, but ashamed, not daring to look.
--Are you sure you're not angry with me?
--Why?
--Th‚rŠse...
--How is Sei?
I wanted to say she was well, but I couldn't lie to Th‚rŠse.
--Lonely.
--I was afraid you'd say that, she replied.
--I don't think she has any friends here. I mean...she was never the
sort to make friends with just anyone, but...she ran away from everyone.
Why, I don't know. She had no reason to, but...she must be afraid she'd
hurt someone else. She never forgave herself for what she thought she
did to you. Please...won't you come with me to see her? So she knows
you're all right...
--She knows I'm here.
--...What?
--She came to Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours one day, when I happened to be
there.
--Did you say anything to her?
--I told her she'd mistaken me for someone else.
The car arrived. Th‚rŠse stood up; it took me a moment to rise in my
turn and join her in the car. The seat beside her was free, so I sat
beside her; she continued to stare straight ahead, not looking at me.
--Prochaine station, Vend“me.
--...But why? I asked at last. How could you...?
--Shimako...You still don't understand why I was sent here, do you?
--...to make sure you never saw her again? I guessed.
--Did she tell you much about me?
--No. She never spoke of you to me. I only heard, from others.
--She might have told you this. We were going to run away together. Did
anyone tell you that?
--What? No, never.
--It was her idea. Let's go away somewhere, she said. Somewhere far
away. Far from Lillian Academy. Far from everyone. In a place where we
can live just as we like, together.
--Station Vend“me.
--Where?
--I don't know. I don't know if Sei even knew. Perhaps...
--Perhaps what?
--Perhaps, mused Th‚rŠse, it was this place.
--Prochaine station, Place-Saint-Henri.
--What do you mean?
--We could have lived together, here, and nobody would have cared. Did
Sei tell you that?
--Yes. Yes she did, I replied.
--But it was a mad idea, said Th‚rŠse. Sheer madness. God knows what
would have become of us, wherever we ended up. We would have wound up
like the people our age begging on rue Sainte-Catherine, or dead of the
cold. After a few months away from Japan--I thought I had put that
behind me. That I could laugh at the insanity of it. But then one day
she came to Bon-Secours.
Th‚rŠse laughed mirthlessly and went on:
--If you would damn someone, give him what his corrupt heart thinks it
desires. Shimako...that night I was tempted to kill myself.
--What?
--I was a good swimmer at school. She might have told you that. I came
back to the Old City, to the Saint-Laurence river, right by
Bon-Secours--and I stood on the banks for hours, trying to find the
courage to dive in and swim out into the river, and drown.
--Station Place-Saint-Henri.
Therese looked at me, smiling again, and added:
--But as you can see...I didn't do anything of the kind. Shall I tell
you what I did do?
--What did you do?
--I went to Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours, the next morning, and prayed for
the soul of Sei Sato. That's what I've done every day since.
--Th‚rŠse...
--Now you're here. Perhaps my prayers have been answered.
--Prochaine station, Lionel-Groulx.
--What do you mean?
--You love her very much, don't you?
--Yes. Yes, I do.
--Shimako...if you had let me go one moment later...I would have been in
your debt. As it is, do me one kindness instead.
--Yes?
--...If you come here as well...look after her for me, won't you?
--Station Lionel-Groulx.
The doors opened, and Th‚rŠse got up and headed for the door. I stood
up.
--Shiori...! I cried.
--My name is Th‚rŠse!
She stopped short, realized she'd raised her voice again, and bowed her
head to me.
--I'm glad I met you, Shimako. Please...don't follow me.
And with that she stepped out of the car, the doors closed, and the
train pulled away from the station.
Before that day I had never wittingly met Shiori Kubo. I would never
meet her again.
--
--Shit.
The metro cars going east and west happened to arrive at the same time.
I'd expected Sei to arrive about then, but I was surprised myself to see
the west-bound car pull away to reveal her standing on the platform.
We walked up the stairs and met on the platform overlooking the tracks.
--Where did you go? I thought you were going to the Old City, Sei asked.
--I did, I replied.
--So...what? You go to the Oratoire? You didn't have to go there all by
yourself. I'd have taken you. All you had to do was ask.
--I didn't go there. I went to Notre-Dame-de-Grace.
--What? To NDG? Why? What's there you wanted to...?
--Sei, I met Shiori Kubo.
Sei stopped short. Her jaw dropped, the blood drained from her face; I'm
sure she started to shake.
--...What?
--At Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours, by chance. She took me to
Notre-Dame-de-Grace.
--Oh God...
--Shiori's here. She told me she was sent here to make sure you never
saw each other again. Somehow you found out where she was and dropped
everything to run to her. But she wouldn't start again. Tell me the
truth. That's why you're here, isn't it?
Sei covered her face with her hands, begging me:
--Shimako...please don't...it's not like that...
--That's why you're so unhappy. Sei, do you think I couldn't tell how
miserable you were?
--Shimako...when I came...I didn't know she was here. Honestly, I
didn't...
--But you found out, didn't you? That's why you didn't want to take me
here...
--I didn't know it was her.
--What are you talking about?
--Oh, I was pretty sure it was her, said Sei. But I so hoped it wasn't
her...
--What? What do you mean?
Sei turned away from me, and held on to the railing overlooking the
tracks tightly, taking a deep breath, looking straight over the tracks.
--It was weird. I told Mom and Dad I was sick of Lillian and I wanted to
study abroad, it was Mom who was glad to hear it, not Dad. Dad didn't
want me to go. He had the money, but he said he'd miss me too much if I
went.
She smiled at the thought of her father, and went on:
--He's a sweetheart, that way. Mom said, "Let her go. She needs a fresh
start." Dad's like, "From what?" And she's like, "You know what! She'll
never find a husband here!" Dad's like, "What's that got to do with it?
I married you, didn't I? Why won't she get married?"
--What did he mean? I asked.
--I don't know. I knew better than to ask. So they had one of their huge
fights and Mom wound up slamming the door to her room and bawling in
there. Psycho...anyway, when she was gone Dad just sat there a while
quietly--he does that--and finally he said, "Maybe she's right, Sei. I
needed a fresh start too." He came to Tokyo from some shit-hole village
in Hokkaido. Never had a dad himself. Self-made man, he said, because
nobody was going to make him. So...in the end he let me go.
She let out a deep sigh.
--And then, that June 24...after the parade I had some time to kill, so
I went down to Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours, just out of curiosity. If
there was no mass at the Basilique there wouldn't be there. So I go in,
and a guy dressed like a voyageur says, "Bonjour, p‚lŠrin." Thought I
was a guy. And in the back row on her knees, was a girl about my age,
praying, and I heard her say, in Japanese, "Lord have mercy on me, a
sinner." She makes the sign of the cross, and stands up, turns around to
go, and--oh God--she'd cut her hair, she was a bit taller and she wasn't
in her uniform--I hardly ever saw her out of it--but it was HER--I'd
know her anywhere. I knew that face as well as my own. And I cried out
her name and I THREW myself at her, I held her tight and started kissing
her everywhere, and she must have gotten a fright, because she yelled
and said to let her go. Next thing I know monsieur le voyageur's pulling
us apart, and he's like, "What's going on here?" He must have thought I
was going to attack her right inside the church. And then she looks at
me, and you could see it click in her eyes just who it was. And she
looks at him then and says, "It's fine, she thought I was someone else."
I thought she was someone else. And he looks at her--and then he looks
at me, and now the moron realises I'm a girl. And he lets me go, and
says, "Get the hell out of here!" And she's like "Monsieur! S'il vous
plait!" and he realises what he said, and makes the sign of the cross...
Sei laughed a little bitterly, in spite of herself, and went on.
--...which would have been funny, normally, but he's still staring at
me, so I take the hint and I scram. And I try to tell myself, she's
right. I must have had the wrong person. She couldn't be...but I knew I
hadn't. And do you know what? I wound up here at Champ-de-Mars, for
ages, standing right over the tracks, trying to gather the courage to
throw myself off.
I could feel my eyes go wide with shock.
--...What?
--Dammit, Shimako, I didn't do it, did I? I just stood here like a moron
until someone calls security and the security guy gets me to move along.
I heard a newspaper ruffle behind us. I looked to see. The
ticket-collector who had been on duty when I first arrived was still
there, staring at us.
--Might even have been him on duty that day, I don't remember. He's
watching us. Oh, he knew what I was planning to do. People do it all the
time.
--What did you do? I asked.
--What do you think I did? Sei snapped. I went to Saint-Denis and got
roaring drunk.
She stopped, realized she'd yelled at me, took a deep breath and went on
in a normal tone:
--I stagger home and I wind up calling Yoko, of all people. I still had
her number. Called her at cockcrow in Japan. Some guy picks up. Her
latest boyfriend, I reckon. I ask for Yoko. He gives her the phone and
she says, "Sei, this had better be good," and I'm like, "Why didn't you
fucking tell me Shiori was here?" She said she didn't know. Shimako,
nothing happened at Lillian that Yoko didn't know about, you remember
that, right? So I'm like, bullshit! And then she says if she'd told me
it wouldn't have stopped me, I'd have been on out on the next flight
here. And then...then she's like...
Sei added, in a pompous voice, imitating Yoko Mizuno I presumed:
--"I'm glad to hear you got what you thought you wanted. Disappointed?"
I was thinking, what's that supposed to mean? Then she's like, "Glad to
hear that too." And she hung up...Shimako. You need to hear the truth.
--About what?
--About you and me.
--I don't...
--Somehow she heard about us two looking at each other, your first day
of school, under that tree. So the great Rosa Chinensis decreed that
Shimako Todo would make a great soeur for poor broken-hearted Sei Sato.
And told me so. I'm like, what the fuck? So sorry about Shiori, I'll get
you another cute virgin just like it? Bitch! I didn't want a replacement
for Shiori...I said. But then...but then of course I asked you to be my
soeur anyway. Some fresh fucking start, huh?
--That's why Yoko drove me up the wall so much. Because she knew
everything, and she was always right about everything and she was always
right about me. Every time.
--Sei...
--So, there you go, Shimako. Yoko picked you out for me. As a
replacement for Shiori. Some soeur I was. All I was doing was using you.
--Sei...I started. I liked you from the moment I saw you. Yoko had
nothing to do with it...
--Shimako, are you really going to be satisfied with being a consolation
prize for some girl who's still jonesing over someone else? Because you
deserve better than that. Way better than that...okay?
Sei let out a deep sigh, and hung her head.
--So, yeah. Now you know why I don't go to the Old City any more.
Shimako.
--Yes, Sei?
--Listen. You can stay at my place until Sunday. Madeleine likes you,
she won't mind. Tell her I had to go to Ottawa suddenly, immigration
bullshit. I have friends there, I'll stay with them. And then Shimako,
when you leave Montreal, I want you to stay gone.
--Sei...please don't...
--Shimako!
Sei was bent over the railing, gripping it for dear life. It looked for
all the world like she was gathering the courage to climb over and jump.
--Shimako, please...This time I fucking mean it. Go home. This town
doesn't have anything you want and neither do I. I'm not the best thing
since sliced bread. I'm not Lady Oscar. I'm not even Rosa Gigantea, any
more. I'm just a fuck-up who fucked up some other poor girl's life and I
don't care to fuck up anyone else's. Okay, Shimako? You should be home,
in Japan, with your family and the people who love you. Go to a nice
college at home, find a nice boy to marry who loves you and wants to
take care of you, have a happy life with him and have lots of beautiful
children, and forget about me.
--Sei...I said, coming closer to her.
--Please!
--Sei...look at me.
She turned towards me, her eyes red, not from alcohol but from tears
now, and I put my right hand on hers and bent in closer.
--No, don't...
And there, under the stained glass I stroked her hair with my left and
kissed her softly, on the forehead, and her grip on the railing relaxed,
just a little, and when I'd done I told her:
--Sei...let's go home together, okay?
--
We had not walked together, hand in hand, since Lillian Academy; as we
walked together one evening after school, Sei had thrust my hand into
her pocket with her and held it there. When I remembered it it seemed so
furtive. Perhaps she had not dared anything more.
At Berri-UQAM, I remember, the stained-glass picture had been only dimly
lit when I had first seen it. Now, the picture was fully lit, and I
could see the two men and the woman, heroic, as they truly were.
It was I who had led Sei onto the platform towards Berri-UQAM, and now I
took her by the hand and held it tightly as I led her back onto the
metro towards Beaudry station, up Jacob's ladder to rue Ste-Catherine
and back to rue Panet. I had let Noriko take the lead with me, and now
it was my turn to take the lead with Sei. How could it have been
otherwise, with fear holding us both back? Even in the Village Sei still
seemed apprehensive, her hand trembling, her eyes looking around. Were
we the only women holding hands here? We might have been, it's true. The
men were more visible, to be sure.
Did I remind Sei of Th‚rŠse? Th‚rŠse reminded me of Sei.
--
--What?...Yes, Mr. Brownstein...yes, I know it's the third time this
month... It's fall already. You don't need to run your AC at maximum.
That's why it keeps breaking down...look, I'll call the repairman right
now, all right? He'll be there today. What else do you want me to
do?...yes, I know it's older than you. It would cost me money to replace
and I'd have to replace everybody else's. I'd have to raise your
rent...I'm sorry, Mr. Brownstein, I have another call. If he doesn't
show call me. Goodbye.
Madeleine hung up her cell-phone just as we came in from the hall. She
looked at us from her living-room chair, a little oddly.
--Bonjour...she said. Sei, t'as-tu une gueule de bois toujours?
--Madeleine, I said, we are going upstairs. Is that okay?
--Sure, said Madeleine, shrugging. Don't let me stop you.
As we went up, still hand in hand, I heard Madeleine turn up the
television just a bit.
--
We went upstairs and sat on Sei's bed, still hand in hand, and I stroked
her hair now with my free hand, looking into her beautiful eyes. Her
hand trembled in mine.
--Please don't, she said, a little weakly. But she did not move or look
away.
--Why not? Are you afraid you'll lead me astray?
--I don't want to hurt you too.
--Sei, I said, I'm a sinner like you.
Then I kissed her, long and deep.
--
She was so unlike Noriko. Was she heavier than before? I couldn't tell,
though of course I'd never seen her like this; in spite of her trying to
look harsh, it was a softer, fuller body than Noriko's, with those
beautiful pale eyes. So nervous now. The way Sei touched me was so
different too...how had I imagined it? I suppose much the way Yumi might
have imagined it, much as Noriko had in fact touched me--passionately,
practically ravishing me. Nothing could be farther from the truth--Sei
was furtive, almost virginal, gently brushing me with her lips and
fingers, not so much teasing as daring not to go further for fear I'd
shatter at her touch. It was I who took the lead, gently guiding her
hesitant hand where it needed to go, and after I let go--a gentle, happy
little shiver--I was the one who ravished her with my mouth until she
silently let go, biting back a cry.
When we were done, we lay together naked, running our hands over each
other, looking into each other's eyes.
--What are you thinking about? Sei asked.
I snapped out of my reverie, and answered without thinking:
--...I never imagined it would be quite like this.
--Me either.
Sei giggled and kissed me on the lips, but I replied:
--How did you imagine it?
--Shimako...please. I'm done talking about me. You haven't told me about
you.
--I don't understand.
--Shimako...this wasn't the first time you've done this after all. Is
it?
--No, Sei.
--Thank God, Sei replied.
I kissed her back, on the forehead, and said:
--You know, though...I very much wanted it to be.
--You did?
--Mm-hmm.
--Shimako?...Promise you won't get mad?
--I promise.
--If it wasn't me...who was it?
--Sei? You still don't know? Who else could it have been?
Those lovely, gentle eyes suddenly went wide in recognition.
--...Ohshit--
She sat up like a shot, pulling the sheets to her and covering her face,
and realizing what I had said I sat up too, and put my hand on her
shoulder to calm her.
--Sei...!
--This was a bad idea...!
--Sei, I'm sorry!...You don't understand!...We don't do this. Any more.
--Any more?
--No.
--Oh God...Shimako. That's why she didn't want to be your soeur any
more? Because of me?
--It wasn't like you're thinking, Sei...she wasn't angry with me at all.
She thought this might happen. Sei...I think she wanted it to happen.
She said she liked the idea of us together.
--Seriously?
--I was stunned myself.
--Shimako, this is crazy! I'm still drunk, you're on the rebound...
--Sei...you don't understand. I've wanted to be with you for a very long
time. Noriko...she knows me very well. Was she wrong?
--I don't know.
But Sei did seem to relax a bit under my touch, and looked back at me
finally.
--Why didn't you tell me? she asked me.
--About Noriko?
--About...everything!
--Would you have believed it?
--I don't know.
--Sei...Is that what you were afraid of? You thought you'd ruined Shiori
and you thought you'd ruin me too?
--I didn't go this far with Shiori.
Now it was my turn to be surprised.
--...What?
--I only saw her at school, said Sei. All we did was kiss.
--You're sure?
--I...shit, what am I saying? You don't want to hear this...!
--Tell me, I said.
--I...if I'd touch her a bit, through her clothes, she'd get nervous.
And so was I too, so I didn't do that much...
--I noticed...the way you touched me, just now, very furtively.
--Didn't you like it?
--It was nice...it just wasn't what I had expected.
--That's it. I'm not always like that. Other girls I'm like, "Yeah!
Let's do it!" I don't know. Maybe I'm less worried about their feelings
because I didn't care about them...
--Or maybe you know they're not virgins so you don't think you'll break
their hearts?
--Maybe...
I kissed her deeply again, and whispered in her ear:
--I'll bet she was a wonderful kisser.
--...What?
Sei was blushing. I giggled, and added:
--Am I like her? She's a lot like you.
--You think?
--Yes...I liked her a lot. I wonder would we have made good soeurs.
--I don't know...
--But...she blames herself for all this. I wanted her to come with me to
see you, but she wouldn't. She's lonely too.
Sei said nothing. She looked away, but I went on:
--Sei...I don't want you running away from people because you're afraid
of hurting them. Any more. Sei, I love you. I'm not the only one who
loves you too. And I want you to come home, okay?
--What? To Japan? said Sei. What would I do there?
--You might at least observe the New Year at my father's temple,
mightn't you? I didn't say you had to stay there forever. And m father
likes you too. He's not the only one who misses you.
--My dad?
--Yumi too. Your biggest fan.
--What? Yumi?
--Yes. And Noriko. I think you two got off on the wrong foot. You need
to make up for that.
--Do I?...I might do that.
--You should.
--But Shimako...are you still coming here? I mean...you haven't even
gotten into McGill yet.
--My English is coming along. My grades are fine. Let me worry about
that, all right?
--Shimako? said Sei, looking back at me.
--Yes?
--You know, you're a great kisser too.
--Oh? I said, giggling.
--Do it again.
I did; and she touched me again, still gently, but now much more
confidently, as if we had been doing this all our lives.
--
We never did make it to McGill, at least not that day. We lay in Sei's
bed, kissing, cuddling and touching, and finally dozing until it got
dark. Perhaps it was the last of the jet-lag that made me doze, but
either way, neither of us wanted to leave the dream-world of each
other's arms any sooner than we had to.
Finally hunger drove us out of bed--we never had had lunch. Sei got up
first, dressed and ordered a pizza while I dressed. We ended up sharing
it with Madeleine watching a soap opera in French, Sei putting the
captions on for me. Madeleine was transfixed; Sei sat with me on the
couch, laughing at the silliness and melodrama of it all until Madeleine
shushed her, and I laughed with Sei, more because she was laughing than
because I understood very much. If Madeleine noticed anything amiss
about us holding hands, much less what we had been doing upstairs, she
did not mention it. Somehow I doubted she would make Sei move out, at
least then.
--Shimako, Sei asked me finally. Were you going to go to mass tomorrow?
I had planned to--I would have no time on Sunday.
--Yes...why?
--I thought we could go to St-Pierre-Ap“tre. It's just down the street.
Plenty of gay people and not too many tourists. That's where Madeleine
goes. You can hear yourself think. Right, Madeleine?
We? I thought.
--What? said Madeleine, looking at Sei as if she'd gone mad. Sei wants
to go to mass? Is the world about to end?
--I'll be good. I'll go to confession first, said Sei, grinning. I'd
better or God'll strike me down with lightning just for showing up...
--Bah, said Madeleine, dismissing the idea with a wave. If He was going
to bother with that He'd strike down half the city. They're glad just to
have people show up these days. Just say a good act of contrition.
--What did you do that you have to confess? I asked, just to tease her.
--This and that, Sei answered, shrugging. Getting drunk on
Saint-Denis... never going to mass...stealing the hearts of pretty
girls...
I bent in and whispered in her ear:
--If they forgave you, surely so has He? And they did. Long ago. Come
with me.
Sei didn't answer, but smiled, and squeezed my hand tighter.
--
We slept in Sei's room that night and Saturday night, without hearing a
word of complaint from Madeleine.
On Sunday we took the train to Dorval together, holding hands; but at
the check-in I had to whisper in her ear:
--I wonder if Sei will hug me goodbye?
She laughed, and hugged me, kissing me softly on the cheek, but even
then the hug was a little tentative. Surely, I thought, hugging in
public was nothing Canadians would notice?
--Please, I whispered, I'm not made of glass, and hugged her back, as
tightly as I could.
She hugged me back more tightly, sighing a little, her breath starting
to catch like mine; we held each other for a long time, and it was only
reluctantly that she finally let me go. I was quite ready for that
though, resting my hands on her shoulders.
--I'll see you at the New Year? I asked.
--S...Sure! she said, blushing. Had I ever seen her blush like that, I
wondered?
On the runway at Dorval it's easy to see the Oratoire Saint-Joseph
perched on mont Royal. Sei had finally taken me there on Saturday, and
indulged me as I lit a candle and prayed. "What are you praying for?"
she asked me, and I'd said, "Nothing, I'm thanking St. Joseph and Our
Lady."
--For me?
--Sei, please! I'd laughed.
But she had been half-right; I had been praying for her, thanking Our
Lady and her husband St. Joseph for looking after Sei, and Shiori Kubo,
and myself in Montreal, and for Our Lady to deliver Shiori at last as
she had Sei. As the plane began to take off I prayed to Our Lady to
watch Sei wherever she went in the city of Mary, until we saw each other
again.
TSUZUKU
Ottawa-Hull, 2005-2008
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