To protect Natsuki. That was the beginning and end of my goals back then. To love Natsuki. That was the entire meaning of my existence back then. To keep it a secret from Natsuki. That was the imperative that drove me to extremes. Whether the "it" was my silent protection or my unreturned love, it didn't matter. They were one and the same, they sprang from each other and fueled each other's flames. I liked Natsuki. No, that's wrong. My feelings were already too far gone by then to be confined to a mere "daisuki". I loved Natsuki. And because of that I wanted to protect her, I wanted to keep her safe from all the danger she recklessly threw herself into. My continuous vigil exposed to me the Natsuki underneath the aloof exterior. The beautiful, kind, strong girl shone past her fiercely independent attitude. Because I got to knew her better, I fell in love with her even more. It was a cycle. A cycle that could have ended happily but for one thing. Natsuki didn't love me back. She didn't feel the same way. I was just a friend to her, a sempai who teased her, a person she could ask for information. She was too focused on her own tasks. Natsuki hated letting people into her life. She doesn't like people getting close to her. She was also body shy, the most body shy person I'd ever met. If she found out I liked her in that way... It would ruin our friendship, to say the least. She would be frightened away, things between us would become awkward and... I would lose her. I wouldn't be able to bear losing her. I wouldn't be able to bear losing what I've worked for all those years. My persistence has allowed me to get nearer to her. Certainly not as close as I would have liked but close enough that I have the honor of being one of the few she calls "friend". I accepted it, that I would be nothing more than her friend. I accepted the knowledge that I would forever lurk in the shadows, my naginata ever sharp and ready to rain retribution down upon anyone who dared hurt her. It's because of me that no one ever bothers Natsuki when she traverses the seedy underbelly of Fuuka city. I know for a fact that there's a high body count among the criminals who've tried to rob Natsuki or worse. It pleased me that Natsuki believed her formidable reputation was of her own doing. It pleased me because it meant I was fulfilling my purpose of being invisible. Natsuki's invisible protector, admirer and would-be- lover. -o- The beginnings of that night I can trace back to one rainy night when Natsuki's bike broke down. At least, that's what I thought happened at first At the time, no one had tried to do anything funny to Natsuki lately, but I still followed her. I watched her, as best as I could. I kept track of her movements. At school, in her apartment, on her dangerous nights out in the city. What? Charge me for being a stalker? Why, I'll plead guilty then, but in my defense I'll place Cupid on the stands. I did my best to watch over her. But that rainy night, I had a prior engagement so it was late when I was finally able to track Natsuki down. I found her standing to the side of a deserted stretch of road with her bike lying on its side. I was huddled in a raincoat, sitting on one of Kiyohime's heads when I finally spotted her. I lifted my binoculars and saw her standing over her fallen bike. "Kiyohime." I murmured and patted my Child's head. She knew what to do, we knew each other so well, my Child and I, that often we did not need words to communicate. I could only dream of having the same relationship with Natsuki. Kiyohime put me down in a more densely populated area. I called for a taxi and directed him to where Natsuki was. She was soaked when we got there. Her wet hair hung down and clung to her face. Much to my delight, her clothes clung to her body as well, leaving little room for imagination. True to her nature, Natsuki looked suspiciously at the taxi that had stopped right before her. I rolled the window down and poked my head out. "Ara, what is Natsuki doing there?" "Shizuru?!" Natsuki looked at me disbelievingly. "Natsuki's all wet! Come on, get in." I opened the door and gestured for her to enter. "But..." She turned a protective gaze on her bike. I stifled a laugh. That was my Natsuki. "I'll call a tow truck or something for it. Please... I'll worry if Natsuki gets sick." I wheedled, putting on the cutest pout I could muster. She gave up and got in. I whispered directions to the driver. "Here." I handed her a handkerchief to dry herself with. "Thanks." For a while the only sounds were the humming of the taxi's engine and the steady pour of the rain. I watched, discreetly, without appearing to watch, as Natsuki dried her face then did her best to wring the moisture out of her hair. "Shizuru?" Natsuki asked, breaking the silence. "Yes?" My face softened as her eyes met mine. "How did you know I was there?" I shrugged and smiled mysteriously. "I'll always be there for Natsuki." She scowled. "Shizuru..." Amazing how much threat could be conveyed with just one word. I closed the distance between us by leaning over and giving her a peck on the cheek. Predictably she blushed bright red. I laughed teasingly but not unkindly. "Natsuki looks so cute..." She scowled some more, crossed her arms in front of her chest and kept her eyes firmly fixed outside the window, questions about my arrival forgotten for the moment. -o- I got her changed into dry clothes and tucked into bed in record time. She also had several bruises I had to bandage. "I'm fine, honestly..." She protested vigorously but I had none of it. "But I worry about Natsuki." "Shouldn't you go home?" "I told my parents I was taking care of a sick friend. Now eat." "I'm not sick. Shizuru worries too much." "Eat." I insisted, holding to her lips a spoonful of the soup I'd prepared. She drank it and said grudgingly, "Hey, this is actually good." "Yup! And it doesn't even have any mayo in it!" I replied cheerfully. "Hey!" She mimed being hurt. We shared a laugh. It felt so wonderful to be laughing with her, to be smiling so much. It was like I overflowed with that happy feeling. I patiently fed her, spoonful by spoonful, refusing to let her do it herself. She finished the bowl of soup and I put it away. I was already familiar with her apartment, having been invited over a couple of times. It was sadly lacking in most cooking implements but I made do with what she had. When I returned to her room to check on her, she was already asleep. "Good night..." I whispered, closing the light, then the door to her bedroom. I eyed the sofa that would be my bed for what remained of the night. It looked so lonely and uninviting. Love, infatuation, lust... They all blended together for me back then. I sighed, resigning myself to one more night of tantalizing dreams. But before I slept, I called the company that picked up Natsuki's bike. I found then that my raven haired beauty had also been keeping secrets from me. -o- "Natsuki, why didn't you tell me someone tried to kill you?" I asked angrily the next morning. She looked stunned and put her cup of coffee down on the table. "How... How did you know?" I took a breath and composed myself, willing my polite mask to reassert itself. "Your bike was riddled with bullet holes." Natsuki looked away guiltily. "Natsuki, I worry about you." "Shizuru, please don't ask. Please..." She begged me. "Does it have something to do with your mother?" I asked quietly. "I think so..." She whispered. I was silent for a moment. She had told me about the "accident" she and her mother had been involved in. It was the reason for all her dangerous activities: her need for her revenge. I had a sinking feeling there was more about it that she hadn't told me. Her voice gained courage at my silence. "Shizuru, I want you to stay out of this. I don't want to put you in danger." I grabbed her hand and pushed her sleeve up to reveal the bruises she'd received. "I don't like Natsuki being in danger either." I responded. I let go of her hand. She looked at me stubbornly and pushed her sleeves back down. I laughed in exasperation. There was no changing my Natsuki, always jumping headlong into danger. I stepped forward and hugged her. Briefly, so as not to overstep my bounds. Her soft breasts pressed up against mine, her familiar scent surrounding me. I stepped back and released her from my embrace. "I have to go now." I said, picking up my belongings. "Thank you Shizuru." "You're welcome." I responded, my throat tight with unshed tears as I left her apartment. I'd been foolish. I took my eye off Natsuki and now... She was hurt and someone was after her life. Robbers and pedophiles I could easily dissuade. But whoever was after her wouldn't stop after just one try. I berated myself and called myself a thousand different kinds of a fool. I cursed bitterly. If anything happened to Natsuki I would never forgive myself. I promised to myself I would find out who had tried to kill Natsuki. And I swore that I would make them pay.
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