Notes for the wise duudes that didn't read the manga:
-Well, in the anime Nao only pretended to be a ho--in the manga she actually is. Totally threw herself at Tate and stuff. I think she was kinda under control of the Student Council, well at least she did what they asked of her. Was like...scared of the student council or something.
-I think I've already said a ga-bijillion times that Natsuki's mom shot Shizuru. Don't remember exactly where, but I'm just sticking the wound where the HiME mark would've been if she had been one.
-I know I'm missing stuff and when I think of it, will add.
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She felt herself slowly release a held breath as she stared at her reflection on a glass wall. It barely existed, her reflection, for the shining of the noonday sun dimmed her image. Shizuru could see the rest of Kyoto in motion from the twenty-second floor of her father’s company. Looking down, she saw the city go about its business as people ran about, lost in their own lives. Looking forward, she saw a face with an unreadable expression; it was one that had been trained in the cold practice of hiding emotions. She studied this face—her face in intense scrutiny, trying to read it. Her reflection did the same.
Framed by a honey colored mane, her angular jawbones merged at a delicate but firm chin that seemed to depict its owner’s peculiar brand of stubbornness. There were high cheekbones, almost Western-like despite her very Japanese heritage, that furthered along her resolute appearance. There were full lips of a delicate pink, soft, like the petals of a cherry blossom that was currently set in a firm frown. Despite her youth, there was aged wisdom hidden in the contours of her face, a maturity that commanded respect. And, yes, there was grace that flowed through her like blood did her veins. There were her perfectly angled eyebrows that normally gave her a natural gentle expression though now they were pushed downwards towards her tall nose as if trying to meet those impassive burgundy.
She continued to study this reflection and realized something: she could not discern the emotions that were guarded from this—her face. That was troubling; she couldn’t read her own expression. She had trained herself too well. Shizuru finally gave up and closed her eyes, falling back into not-so distant memories.
“It’s been a while since I’ve last seen you, daughter.” Fujino Tatsuya said, smiling a smile that could only be described as one a proud father would give to his beloved daughter.
Shizuru looked up from where she was pouring tea. “You have my apologies.”
“I will have none of that today, Shizu-chan. Let’s skip the formalities.” He leaned over the table to whisper conspiratorially, “seeing how your mother isn’t here.”
She matched her father’s mischievous expression with her own. “Do you do this with all your associates?”
He nodded confidently and proceeded to boyishly run his hand through his graying blonde hair. “Of course, it is customary for me to bring all my business partners to this teishoku-ya and inform them that we are free to giggle and act like little schoolgirls.” He chuckled before growing serious. “So tell me why you are visiting earlier than usual.”
She set down her teacup. “Will you allow me to work for you?”
Tatsuya's shrewd red eyes seemed to penetrate her, leaving her defenseless to his merciless gaze. If she had been anything less than her father’s daughter, Shizuru would have shrunk back.
“Trouble in paradise, eh? I did warn you.” He sighed. “Well, at least your mother will be happy. She never did accept the fact you have your dear father’s taste in beautiful women.”
Despite his playful speech, the President’s gaze continued to remain hard as he cut straight to the point. “I have always been prepared. As a businessman, I will allow you to begin whenever you want. You would do well to remember that you belong here, not on some small island living a simple life—you have been trained to and will be more. You are the only one competent enough to take my place and my empire will have its rightful heir.”
He paused, his expression softened greatly. Reaching over the small table, the elder Fujino patted his daughter’s cheek. “But, as a father, I wish you only happiness. I can’t bear to see you like you are now. Show me your real smile, Shizu-chan.”
Her frown widened. Shizuru turned away from her reflection.
*~*~*~
Another three weeks had passed. The last remnants of spring had already given way to passionate summer. She had graduated, surprisingly, even with her mind heavy with recent events. Not to mention she still spent her Saturdays in Kyoto. It had become a habit for her to watch her former lover from far away, hidden in the crowds.
But apparently she hadn’t hidden herself well enough. Two weeks ago Shizuru had, by chance, turned and met her eyes. The results had been disastrous. The golden brown haired woman had dropped the bowl in her hands just as she was about to serve it, her gaze never left her green ones. Then those deep wine-colored eyes narrowed and darkened with an emotion akin to fiery hatred. It felt as if a knife had been impaled into her chest. Shizuru had then abruptly stood up and left the platform without a word. The crowd had erupted into confused babble while she was stood there, unable to stop a shiver that ran down her spine.
Natsuki looked down to her dessert. She had stopped at an outdoor café as she had done a week before when Shizuru didn’t appear at the demonstration. She had stood there with the rest of the disappointed crowd when another woman showed up and apologized. Fujino-san had too much work, that woman had said.
Natsuki bit her lip, wondering what she should do. It was almost beginning, the allotted time when Shizuru would start her demonstration. What would she do if she didn’t see her there? What would she do if she did see her there?
She had been thinking, still unable to find what she wanted to do. But she couldn’t just stop or give up. She had been through these thoughts before. There had to be something else she could do.
“Oh? Who is this that I see?” Someone said in front of her; she could practically hear the smirk in the speaker’s tone. She also recognized the voice and snapped her head up.
“Nao.”
“So you do remember me,” Yuuki Nao smirked. She looked older, of course, than what she last remembered. Four years did that to a person. Actually, it had been longer than that. She barely saw her after that fateful year. When Shizuru had graduated, she let go of Nao’s debts to the Student Council.
“It would be impossible to forget you,” she growled as she jammed her spoon back into her ice cream.
“Looks like someone still has problems managing her anger,” the red haired woman laughed before whispering into the ear of the male she was latched onto. The man nodded and left.
Natsuki twitched before retorting, “And it looks like someone is still a slut.”
“What can I say, old habits die hard.” Nao smirked. “Actually, I’ve been dating him for a year. I’m past my teenage…dalliances. What’s your excuse?”
“She’s standing five feet in front of me,” Nastuki muttered darkly.
“That hurts.” Green eyes that were a shade lighter than her own glittered with amusement as Nao slid into an unoccupied seat. She leaned towards Natsuki with a grin that would have made the Cheshire cat proud. “What brings you to Kyoto?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“How cruel. Am I’m not allowed the pleasure of asking how my former dear schoolmate is doing?”
“Yes.” She said simply before reaching into her bag to pull out a bottle of mayo and spilling a generous amount on her ice cream. She crammed a spoonful into her mouth. This had the effect she had wanted, like Shizuru (and most sane people), Yuuki Nao recoiled in horror.
“…that’s mayo. You’re eating…ice cream…with mayo,” Nao twitched, trying to grasp her mind around the concept.
Natsuki nodded, savoring her moment of victory, and took another bite.
Nao cringed again before she slowly regained her bearing. “You’re not going to get rid of me with such childish tactics. So tell me: does your stay in this city have to do with a particular woman with, say, golden brown hair and reddish colored eyes? She’s rather tall, elegant, and I guess pretty if you’re into that sort of thing.”
Natsuki’s only reply was a silence accompanied by a glare which could petrify anyone save a select few. Unfortunately the redhead was one of those “select few.”
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” She remarked snidely before dramatically sighing. “You’re so pathetic.”
“I don’t want to hear that from you.”
“Oh? Then who?”
“Not you,” Natsuki replied, her temper rising.
“Oh? It is because I, unlike you, overcame my problems? Or is that I’ve been able to move on with my life while you’re still moping?” Nao laughed derisively. “I have to say, I turned out just fine and I didn’t have some multi-billionaire’s nearly perfect daughter holding my hand, guiding me step by step, and still failing.”
Natsuki stood up and slammed her hands into the small, flimsy table. “Take that back!”
“Or what?” Nao asked, looking at her nails. “You’ll drive me to do something desperate? Please. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened and I left that accursed island as soon as I graduated high school. You make me sick, Kuga.”
“Then why are you still talking to me?”
“What can I say? I was here on a date, saw you, and couldn’t resist gloating. Look at you: you haven’t changed a bit. It’s been more than a couple years yet I still see the same, confused first year high school student glaring back at me.” The younger woman leered. “If that isn’t pathetic, I don’t know what is.”
Natsuki reached forward and grabbed Nao's shirt, pulling the red head towards her. “Don’t talk as if you know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
Nao matched her glare with her own; lighter green eyes glittered at her dangerously. “Boo hoo. Life sucked for you. But guess what: you’re not the only one. Isn’t that amazing?”
Power swirled around Nao’s form, not enough for a passerby to notice, but Natsuki could feel the energy gather to materialize an Element. It wasn’t enough to summon the weapon, but the gathering energy made Nastuki release her grip in surprise.
“It’s been a while since I unsheathed with my claws.” Nao said, smiling darkly. “Want to have a rematch? There’s no one to help you this time, Kuga.”
Natsuki met her challenge with another glare. She threw down some change for her melted ice cream and angrily followed Nao to a nearby fifteen storied department store. They took the stairs and Nao summoned her claws, expertly breaking the locks that hindered their ascension. When they reached the rooftop, Natsuki summoned her Element. The familiar weight of her small guns was comforting, almost nostalgic. Even though she had some time to calm down, it wasn’t enough. Her stubborn mind had been made.
First things first.
She had something to prove.
*~*~*~
“As you see here, it is paramount to have our major investors fund this portion of—
“Forgive me Yasuo-senpai, but can we pick this up tomorrow? I am not feeling well.”
A look of concern flashed by the brown haired man’s face, paving way for a wave of emotions that seemed to flood his countenance before finally settling on resignation. “Alright then, we’ll pick this up another day. Get some rest, Shizuru-chan.”
Shizuru nodded gratefully, closing her eyes. She felt two hands upon her shoulders. “If you ever want to talk…”
“That is enough. I will see you Monday.”
He nodded, knowing his helplessness in the situation. With a heavy sigh, Yasuo gathered his papers and put them into his suitcase. “I’m sorry, Shizuru. I didn’t know.”
“Go,” she commanded. Her voice hardened.
When her childhood friend left, Shizuru sighed deeply. The last few weeks had been hard on her. She had thought that time would heal her wounds, yet she often found herself thinking of her—Natsuki—when she least suspected it. It was too hard sometimes. It was those days where she threw herself into her work, trying not to think. Sleep also came hard to her.
“Natsuki,” she whispered softly.
It had been difficult to leave her. She had planned it for months, trying to gather her courage. She had also waited and waited, trying to delay her decision as much as she could. Maybe today she will look at me differently, she willed herself to believe. Tomorrow, she will finally see me. It would be…tomorrow...
She had always known. Deep in her heart—Shizuru had always known. Yet she was too weak, too obsessed with trying to get closer to her. She did get close to her, yet she never got what she wanted. Natsuki’s heart was still so far away.
The past few years had been a cruel torture for her. It had been so sweet at times. There were days where she actually felt that she was loved the way she wanted to be—that she and Natsuki were actually on the same wavelength. Those were dearly cherished days were always soon followed by the blue haired girl retreating back into her shell when she realized that she was becoming too open, too vulnerable.
If she hadn’t been so well bred, Shizuru would have let out a frustrated scream, clutched her head, and wondered what god she had displeased to be tormented like this.
She stood up and turned to face the glass walls of her office. It had become her favorite place in her office—she could see a great deal from above. After all, this building was one of the tallest in Kyoto.
It was comforting to be able to look down and see the city move at its own rhythm. That, despite her inner turmoil, life went on as it always did.
There.
She spotted something unusual. She could see two figures on a rooftop from a far off distance. They moved quickly at an almost inhumanly speed, caught in some kind of dance. She barely made out glittering red wires that seemed to trail one of the figure’s hands that twisted back and forth as the figure dodged, ducked, and weaved. Once and a while the thin red strings were snapped forward to counteract the other figure’s…
Shizuru’s eyes widened. The other figure was followed by a long trail of blue. In the wind, her hair whipped to and from with a life of its own. Speckles of a lighter blue seem to explode from that figure’s hands. That could only mean that it was…
“Natsuki.”
*~*~*~
“What’s the matter? Can’t keep up Natsuki-chan?” the younger woman taunted as she ran forward, claws outstretched. Nao’s right wrist flicked upwards, the dangerous red wires connected to the nails of her Element sliced through her ice bullets with ease.
Natsuki kept her face expressionless as she ran forwards, dodging the strings that lashed towards her like a whip. There was no chance she was going to lose to Nao. That would just be pitiful. She aimed and fired two more shots towards the other.
*~*~*~
Shizuru’s eyes narrowed, her hands closed into fists. Was that a reason why she couldn’t connect to Natsuki, because she wasn’t a HiME like her? That she didn’t know what it was like, she hadn’t played a pivotal role in saving the school back then? But she had, it was just her battles had always been in the background, the subtle ones. That was the way she preferred to fight, even if she had to suffer under the veil of anonymity.
She wished she had the power to do something, to change her circumstances. Why couldn’t she escape this endless cycle? Her forehead touched cool glass; her fists collided with the clear wall that prevented her from a huge descent.
There!
There it was! that animalistic feeling of hers that she could not control. It rose inside of her while she leaned against the glass wall. She wanted to break out of this wall that oppressed her, caged her. She wanted to shatter everything that kept her from Natsuki. It didn’t matter if she would plunge to her demise—she would at least be one step closer to her. That was her first priority, as it had always been since she met and fell in love with Kuga Natsuki.
Why was it that she could only stare from afar at the tiny image of the person she wanted to be closest to? Like they were standing on two separate planes of reality that she could for only a moment, when the two collide, feel her, touch her. She had felt and touched her, but it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t able to be sated with so little.
Why was it that the first person that she was able to connect with—the one that she didn’t have to be Fujino Shizuru the paragon Japanese woman, perfect in every way—had to act like this? She was selfish, but…shouldn’t she have the one thing she wanted, the only thing she ever desired—why couldn’t she have it? It was cruel, unfair.
Emotions continued to rise in her like bile, pouring out of her while she seethed and pounded against the glass walls. Tears of frustration broke out as years of repressed emotions finally broke Fujino Shizuru.
She didn’t know how to—no, she refused to lose. This was one thing she cherished the most, she wouldn’t lose. She should be hers. Her eyes opened, bloody red eyes seemed to glow with a certain fire, one whose light couldn’t be wholly sane. She should be hers!
“Damn you, Kuga Natsuki!” She screamed. The scar at her side that she had received from Doctor Kuga’s bullet seemed to burn with fervent energy, eagerly drinking up her turmoil.
Her body seemed to shake with her rage, her grief. They were one and the same, fueling her as she gasped for air, shuddering with the pure emotion she felt. Her mind seemed to move all to fast for her, dilating—thoughts seemed to travel through her at light speed until everything suddenly…stopped.
The warmth of her body was suddenly enveloped by coldness. Rather, the sensation was centered on her waist as if ghostly arms were wrapped around her. Shizuru shivered, her muscles slackened involuntarily.
“Poor dear,” she heard a voice say with hardly a sound, a whisper on still air, a feather’s touch on cotton. She almost didn’t hear it. “Poor unhappy child. Is love what is troubling you because it won’t be returned?”
There was no doubt some…thing was there with her. She could feel a tiny breeze as the voice continued to whisper, its icy lips almost touched her ear.
“Soothe your worries and insecurities. There is no trouble here.” It blew like a promise on satin as its ghostly arms around her waist slithered higher, trailing her arms before it grasped them and pulled them closer, wrapping Shizuru’s arms around her body so that she was hugging herself. She tingled at the sensation, her arms felt cold, dead, and not her own. “All is yours.”
She tensed and forced herself to take a step forward. She moved as if nothing was hindering her, holding her body. But something had to be there. Unless she really had gone insane. That would be perfect, as if she didn’t have enough to worry about.
“Who are you?” She spoke, spinning to face the rest of the room. An empty room met her.
A chill colder than a winter’s blizzard was felt on both her shoulders. The invisible force pushed her to the wall and held her there; it felt stronger this time, more tangible. Her feet hovered inches above the floor. She could now discern the barest outline. It was…humanistic.
“The question, Fujino Shizuru, should have been ‘what am I worth to you.’ I am disappointed.” The figure’s lips seemed to hover near her own; frigid air seemed to steal the very heat from her. “I thought you were smarter than to ask childish questions.”
Her eyes darkened, narrowing as she felt anger swell inside of her. “Very well. What are you worth to me?”
The entity laughed. As it did, its form became more and more solid. Now, it was a silver mist.
“Everything, Fujino Shizuru.”
The pressure that pinned her to her place lessened and she slid back to the carpeted floor.
“You hate it, do you not? The feeling of inability. You loathe the fact that you are forced by the world to conform. By circumstance as well. You want to control it all. You only exist when you are in control of the situation.” The voice echoed from her room. It was growing stronger and stronger until it now spoke in normal tone. The sound was smooth and contained the assurance that only power and knowledge could give.
“You have power and status. But it is not enough power to do what you wish. Your status does not help you. No, he—she does not care about status. She cares about the world more than you. You are nothing to her but a mere experience.”
“Why do you care?” She asked, her chest heaving. The scar at her right side burned.
“Your interests are my own. It is because…” The voice continued melodically like a serenade, enticing her into its fold. The voice began to sound…feminine.
“Your emotions nurtured me. They fed me until I have grown strong. I was not supposed to exist this time with power. Neither were you, but your emotions were so powerful that you stole me from my resting place.”
Shizuru’s mind raced, trying to come up with a conclusion. “Are you an Orphan?”
It—no, she laughed. “Not anymore. I was not supposed to even be one.”
The figure appeared behind her again, Shizuru felt a cold, smooth arm wrap around her shoulders and a hand caressed her cheek.
“I, like you, was only a mere human. But I grew stronger. At death, I left my body and possessed those beasts that you humans call Orphans, contorting them into my own image. Years and years passed and I gained power, but it was not power I could control. I needed someone. A container if you will.”
“You found me, Ghost-san.” She closed her eyes. Her body had relaxed.
“No, you found me. You took me inside of you and fed me with all your emotions. Your grief, your love, your rage—they made me grow stronger until I am here.” She said, moving away from Shizuru once again to sit on top of her desk.
“I am here,” she reaffirmed, fully materializing into a young woman. She had extremely pale skin and a voluptuous frame. She was dressed in a violet kimono made out of decent silk that hung loosely to her form. The obi was a gold color that seemed to glow. It was not an expensive kimono; it was more like one perhaps a merchant’s daughter or perhaps a well-to-do innkeeper’s would wear. Long, dark purple hair spilled across her shoulders and golden eyes stared at her with frightening intensity, cutting through her like a knife through water. Her eyes were slit like a snake’s and they seemed to possess hypnotic qualities; she found it impossible to look away. The blood red lips on the ghost were split into a smile, showing pointed canines.
“Doesn't that make you my Mother?” The ghost asked, laughing. “Then…Mother, tell your obedient Child what it is that you wish.”
Her scar grew hotter and hotter. It felt as if her very skin was being burnt into a different shape. The ghost moved forward until she stood next to Shizuru and wrapped her arms around her neck. Even though she was slightly shorter, she seemed to topple, enveloped her as she whispered into her ears once more sweet nothings.
The world around her seemed to shift, she felt herself being transported from her office to a rooftop. Her vision swirled and all she could see were mixtures of brown. When it cleared, she saw two women staring at her in aghast.
Her adopted Child’s voice whispered inside of her, her silky voice echoed in her mind.
“Say my name, Mother, and I will give everything to you. Just say my name.”
She looked up to see shocked in green eyes, but she did not quite see. Her body now pulsed with comforting energy; her vision swam in her eerie delirium. She felt calm, confident. Invincible, as if nothing—no, nothing could stop her. Her right reached out and she felt energy gather until it focused into a weapon that best fit her, her Element. With a voice colder than the ghost’s touch, she said:
“Kiyohime.”
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