Erstin Ho's Private Journal Day 75 The threatening notes have stopped appearing in my locker, thankfully, and I notice that the gossip about me is also grinding to a halt. It looks like the scandal of Miss Fujino and Miss Kuga being caught doing what they were doing out in the rose garden has overtaken any interest in me. It's a bit of a relief, honestly, even though I do feel a bit sorry for Natsuki. Day 76 Natsuki and Shizuru both appeared before the student council to apologize over the garden incident. I think I was one of the few people there trying to take it seriously, considering Reito's barely concealed chuckles, Alyssa's impish smirk and Miss Yukino's smile. Add to that Shizuru's easy charm and Natsuki's blushes as they tried to explain and even I was having difficulty being serious. We also had a unexpected guest that day, Miss Haruka Suzushiro the former head of the Executive. It seems that Miss Suzushiro had some kind of feud with Shizuru while they were both classmates at Fuka, and she came hoping to see her rival brought down a bit. Of course she left annoyed as Shizuru seemed entirely unrepentant. It was strange.. I had heard all the rumors about how close Yukino and Haruka had been, but it was very different to see it all played out right in front of me. The two fell into what must have been a familiar pattern between them, with Haruka leading and Yukino following, and I was shocked at how angry it made me. All the current members of the student council knew how capable of a leader Yukino was, how come Haruka couldn't? Day 79 With President Kanzaki's permission I took a day out away from the student council's business, to try to understand my reactions yesterday. Looking back at my feelings towards Haruka's arrival, I realize I felt jealous of her taking Yukino's time and attention away. But why should I feel that? Yukino is my senpai on the student council and I'd like to think we're friends, but there's no more to it than that. Or is there? I find myself feeling less and less hurt over Nina Wong's rejection of me, but is that because I've put someone else in her place? Am I merely substituting one hopeless infatuation for another, or just confusing honest admiration with a deeper feeling? I don't know, and until I do know I dare not act. Day 81 I think it would help me maintain some perspective on Yukino if she'd stop being so nice to me. On the first council meeting back from my day off Yukino helped catch me up, not to mention having handled the executive and secretarial duties. She just smiled as I thank her, explaining she felt sure I would do the same for her. Well, I think I would try at least. The meeting itself was mostly dry stuff including a proposal for a actual campus police force, built from the executive committee. Yukino feels that a ad-hoc organization like the executive is useful for emergencies, but day to day activities must also be handled. Yukino pointed out that while the executive were willing they were mostly untrained. Reito and Alyssa agreed to consider the proposal, then discuss it next meeting. The latest rumor going around is that Mai and Mikoto have finally become a official couple. I'm not surprised people think that, considering how affectionate they can be with one another, but I saw them kissing in one of the stairways today. My only surprise was how Mikoto seemed the more aggressive of the pair... Day 82 Yukino came to me to let me know that the executive committee and friends were having another kareoke night, and that I was invited. I was rather doubtful, considering what happened last time, but Yukino assured me that Aoi would be keeping a eye on Chie and they were having a teacher supervise. She also doesn't fight fair, holding on to my hands while looking into my eyes... how could I say no? Day 84 On the day before the party Nina Wong finally came to me to talk, and it was about as awkward as I had expected it to be. She confessed that she had been startled by the rumors of my feelings towards her. Nina apologized for overreacting, which I thought was a bit of a understatement, and hoped our friendship might be what it once was. Of course, I noticed she didn't invite me to sit with her at lunch like before, so I'm not sure how sincere she was. Day 85 My resolutions for the night were fairly simple: don't embarrass myself and don't let myself over drink again. I didn't actually manage to keep either resolution, but things didn't turn out that badly for me. The teachers supervising ended up being nurse Yohko and Midori, both of whom were far too occupied with drinking and each other to watch over us, so things got out of hand pretty quickly. And then there were the costumes. Mai Tokiha insisted on wearing a police woman's for old times sake, whatever that meant, and I found myself gulping when Yukino emerged in a red Chinese dress that hugged every curve. Then she proceeded to sing a old love song, fumbling occasionally but still bringing a tear to the eye. Nao seemed intent on having me drink, though I mostly managed to turn her offers down. I do remember getting kind of blurry as the night went on, so I suspect someone was adding booze to my soda. I'm pretty sure I remember at least one costume change, though to be honest I don't recall what they put me in... just Yukino's wide eyed look as I sang. Day 86 I have SUCH a hangover. More later. Later Why did Chie have to have a camera phone handy? I hadn't realized quite how skimpy that barbarian outfit Aoi helped me into was. The fake leather top was clearly showing the edges of my nipples, and the bikini bottom was a bit too small, too. I also have no memory of whatever I sang, tho Mikoto tells me it went over well. On the plus side, Chie has already printed me up a picture of Yukino dressed in both the Chinese dress as well as a cute 'Joan of Arc' like design. Both are adorable, and I intend to keep them. And I got prints of most of the others' costumes too. Day 88 Nina, Arika and I had lunch together, along with a young man I suspect is Nina's new boyfriend. I'm curiously not bothered about Sergei, but more by Nina's need to introduce him to me. Is this her way of proving she's straight? Or am I just reading too much into it? My impression of Sergei himself is that he's a nice young man, maybe a year or so older than Nina. When she left the table he was quite polite, and while he seemed aware of the rumors around me he wasn't bothered by them. All in all I think I like him. Arika, on the other hand, was remarkably bristly towards him. I can't tell if she's annoyed for my sake or just didn't warm up to him, but they clashed almost from the start. Day 89 Miss Midori continues to be the jack of all trades teacher, subbing in as needed in various classes. Last time it was Chemistry, now she's doing English. It doesn't get much funnier than seeing your teacher mangling a great work of literature, then taking turns with the rest of the class correcting her. Day 92 Monday, and the highlight of my day was sharing lunch with Yukino. Nina and Sergei were eating together and I couldn't see Arika, so it was quite a relief to have Yukino beckon me over. We talked and chatted as we ate, but I kept finding myself distracted by gazing into Yukino's eyes behind those cute glasses and watching her mouth move. She worriedly asked what was wrong when I failed to answer her, and I had to stammer a reply. Yukino just smiled and told me that she got distracted too, at times. Day 95 I think I've made up my mind to seriously look at my attraction to Yukino. Just ignoring it has failed, in fact I find myself paying more and more attention to her, both in student council and when we spend time together. I find myself looking for the weakest excuses to spend time with her, and when she smiles at me I think I might fly away. Of course, what to do about it is the question. I have no idea how she'd react to a younger woman asking her out, and to be honest I'm afraid to find out, in case it's bad news. Maybe I need to ask for some advice...? Day 96 After some debate, I decided it might be best to talk to Aoi. Chie might have been a better choice, but I'd be too worried about her deciding to spread a rumor around. I also considered asking Natsuki, but to be honest I'm too scared of her. While Yukino and the others have reassured me her reputation is worse than the reality, her occasionally chilling stare is more than I could take. Aoi sat me down with some tea while Chie was out, and I hesitantly explained my growing feelings for Yukino. She seemed oddly unsurprised, and I wonder how transparent I've been the last little while. Still, Aoi was kind as she listened, then offered some quite good advice.
Back to Crossing Paths Index - Back to Mai HiME Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction