“I have to go…” she sighed, running her fingers along the door’s surface one last time. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ever coming into your life, for making you feel so miserable.” Kanako sighed as she placed the small envelope of legal, financial and property documents into the Maehara household’s mailbox. The storm was looming on the horizon, she could feel it. She picked up her massive suitcase full of her things, including her rifle, adjusted her fake glasses and prepared to go. She had no place here; she had no right to be here. Sorrowfully, she stepped back and unlocked the back area of her car. She had made arrangements to leave half ownership of Hinata Sou in Shinobu’s name, as well as making her Swiss bank account a shared account. The necessary documents were all in the envelope she left behind, a way to make amends for what she had done. For disrupting their lives, for ever being there, for falling in love with her, though the last one she didn’t really know if she regretted it. “Leaving?” That voice, it invoked so many bitter memories Kanako didn’t even want to remember the name of the one who called her. She knew one of them would catch her, but did it have to be this one? Kanako slowly closed the door on the driver’s side of the car, turned around and saw her: Aoyama Motoko. Once more, the question came to her: did it have to be you? It was a stand-off, both of them were broken souls, one more so than the other. There was very little light around them, the better for Kanako. Motoko approached slowly, her hands seemingly passing over the surface of Kanako’s black hearse as if it were water. Kanako kept still, she didn’t want to move from her place so she would be able to leave in a hurry. She could hear her heart racing nervously over the deathly hum of the engine. There was something in Motoko’s eyes that was different from that time in the hospital; there was a realization there now that wasn’t there before. Something, or someone, had changed Motoko’s view on what was going on. One name came to Kanako… Maehara Miho. That name made her think. Up to now, she had only noticed Miho’s presence through the corner of her eye but she could always feel someone pulling the puppet strings on all the events that had been happening. She didn’t feel forced though, she felt like she was simply going with the flow. Miho certainly had something up her sleeve and a purpose but that was beside the point. The point is that she was expecting Miho to be the one to catch her, not Motoko. Like any good chess master, Kanako decided to contemplate her next move. She didn’t know what was going on right now; there was something about the way the energy of the moment felt to her that shook her mental faculties off balance. She hadn’t been this mentally vulnerable in years; perhaps she never had been before. In any case, she could almost see Miho, smiling with those purple eyes from behind the fog that had begun to envelop them. She stopped that train of thought though and resumed focusing on what was at hand: Aoyama. “You should be happy.” Kanako said with a clear note of displeasure at speaking those words. “I’ll be gone, no more corrupting influence upon Shinobu-chan. She’s yours for the taking, Aoyama.” “I have no right to claim what has already been given away.” “Just go away and let me leave here in peace.” Kanako answered, as if ignoring Motoko’s statement. “Can you at least grant me that?” “You’re making a big mistake, Kanako-san.” “My first mistake was coming back here.” Finally, Kanako opened the door and got on the driver’s seat reluctantly. She turned the key and proceeded to drive away, leaving Motoko in the trail of dust her hearse made as it moved. She kept her mind clear and focused her thoughts on what she was going to do. At least, that was the plan. Now, however, she realized she didn’t have any place to go or anything to do. It didn’t matter however; she was already booked with a first class ticket to Honolulu, Hawaii. She arrived at the airport, her bags looking more like lead weights rather than luggage bags. She looked at her ticket and proceeded to one of the boarding gates of the Hinata Airport, dragging the bags along the ground. It wasn’t that she couldn’t carry them or found them heavy; it was more the weight of leaving. She was breaking down inside but outside, she was as cold as steel. Then, her eyes caught sight of something that gave her a cold, dreadful chill. “Miho-san…” “Hello there, Kanako-chan.” Miho stood there, nonchalantly, with that ever present smile. “Are you going to run away?” “I don’t have anything to stay here for.” “Are you sure? What about Shinobu-chan? Are you just going to forget about her?” Miho stood there ominously, as if she was about to cut Kanako down. “She has feelings for you, you know.” “No.” Kanako answered, unable to move away or against Miho’s overwhelming presence. “She loves someone else. She loves Aoyama.” All the things she said All the things she said Running through my head Kanako knew in her heart that she really didn’t believe what she was saying. Deep inside her, she knew that Shinobu loved her and not Motoko; she knew she felt the same way. In her heart, a heart that had been far too long shrouded in darkness for it’s own good. Shinobu’s kind words, the way those eyes looked at her with unprecedented concern, care, affection…it was love, there was no doubt about it. Why was she running, however, if she knew all these things? Was she afraid of loving? Was she afraid of being betrayed? Was she afraid of betraying Shinobu? She didn’t know the answers to these questions and as she looked into Miho’s purple eyes, her hands trembled and she shook with a dreadful fear. She had begun to fear that smile, that gentle and loving expression. Perhaps, she had gone on too long without feeling that someone cared for her, she didn’t know. She wondered, what was she so afraid of? “Are you afraid to love again, Kanako-chan?” Miho asked, as if reading Kanako’s mind. “Has your heart been burned that badly? Or are you afraid…that you’ll be the one to burn her?” “Don’t presume to know me, Miho-san…” Kanako said bitterly. “You’re calling for help; I can see it, even if I can’t hear it.” Miho answered, her smile starting to wane. Kanako trembled at the sight of that, it was a sign that Miho was getting serious. “Why do you deny yourself what is being given to you? Not every gift is a Trojan Horse, Kanako-chan.” And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed They say it's my fault but I want her so much Kanako felt cornered, Miho was slowly closing in on her. She was breaking apart, she had already fallen to her knees and her eyes were beginning to moisten. Miho was right in what she was saying, she was afraid of being betrayed by Shinobu and of being the one to betray Shinobu. She hated that, being afraid. She wanted to give herself another chance at love, to risk breaking her heart all over again. She had barely recovered from the first time but she was determined to risk it again with Shinobu. Her tears began to run down her cheeks slowly as Miho stood there and simply observed. Kanako didn’t even hear the last boarding call for her flight; she was too deep inside her own self, her own personal void to listen to such things. And yet, despite her blocking out almost everything, she heard footsteps. She heard footsteps made by traditional Japanese wooden sandals striking the floor of the airport. She clenched her fists, she knew Motoko was there. It felt like it was adding insult to injury. “What do you want, Aoyama?” she asked with scorn. “I am not here for what you think I am here for.” Motoko answered. “You are lying there, broken on the floor. Your heart has been shattered more times than you care to count and the shards are still embedded in your mind and soul. You don’t want to feel that fire again; you don’t want to be hurt like that again.” Miho said as she took a chair and faced Kanako. The smile was gone, replaced by an expression infinitely similar to Kanako’s. Stoic, cold, unreadable, secretive, this was Maehara Miho without the façade of the smile she wore like a mask. “But you have to. Or else, you’ll live your life empty, alone and forever damning yourself for running away from this chance.” “I can’t…I…think I killed him. I killed Takenori Yoichi. If not, then I helped kill him.” Kanako admitted at last. “I’m the reason why Shinji-kun has no father…” “That doesn’t matter. Not to me, not to Shinobu-chan, not to Shinji-kun.” Miho answered, still keeping an incredibly hard stance. “Shinji-kun is better off without a father anyway.” “Shinobu-chan…I don’t deserve her.” Kanako countered but in truth, she still wasn’t convincing herself. “I am a killer; even my being here is bringing danger to all of you.” “Then…then…we will face those dangers together.” I keep asking myself, wondering how I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out Those words, combined with the gentle hand touching her shoulder, she knew who this person was. She tried to close her eyes, to block out the image of the woman who was slowly becoming her saving angel. But in the end, she couldn’t. In the end, she gave in, as her hand slowly came up to touch the hand on her shoulder, to feel it, press against. It was the greatest of comforts, to have felt that hand on her shoulder. She stood up, slowly, turning as she did so to face that angelic face, that subtle perfection of beauty. Yes, it was Shinobu’s hand that touched her shoulder, more importantly though, it was Shinobu that touched her heart. That girl gave Kanako the strength to recover, the will to move on and forget about the pain she experienced with her past love. There she stood, Kanako’s angel, her saving grace. In tears, Kanako grabbed and embraced Shinobu in her arms, letting her tears flow freely for the first time in what felt like so long a time. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender, I could stay lost in this moment forever, Where a moment spent with you is a moment I treasure, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” Kanako apologized as she faced Shinobu. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.” “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Shinobu held Kanako’s hands, her smile a light of hope in the darkness that had been Kanako’s existence. “You make me feel things I never thought I’d feel again. Now, all I really want is just to feel your arms around me.” “I want to hold you like this forever, Shinobu-chan.” Kanako said as she held Shinobu close in her embrace, her hand along Shinobu’s hair, a single tear that fell from her cheek running down Shinobu’s now. “I promise, I won’t leave you, Shinobu-chan.” “I won’t let you go.” Shinobu too began to cry. “Not now, not ever.” “Game over.” Miho whispered into the air with a smile as she and Motoko walked away. “May they live happily ever after.”
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