Light on the Water
The fireflies glowed and danced over the surface of the mountain lake
under dark and star-strewn skies at the late hour, all humans in the
nearby house deep in slumber and missing out on this precious dance of
light that took place close by. Another woman would have thought it
looked like the stars themselves had come down from the heavens to play
and frolic above the water's dark mirror, but not Kurisumasu.
No, Kurisumasu, pulled towards the swirling lights as if by aching
invisible strings, thought nothing of stars as the lights beckoned her
to join them. Instead her sorrow and her longing, that which she
struggled so hard to keep in check during the day, strained against the
cage of her chest, threatening to tear her apart.
The young black-haired woman stood for a moment at the edge of the tiny
landing where her uncle's rowboat lay anchored, then pale bare feet left
the edge of the wooden planks and Kurisumasu joined the dancing lights,
her own light a bright, welcoming glow that danced gently among the tiny
flecks.
For Kurisumasu was not human. No matter what she did or how much she
tried, this fact would not change... Kurisumasu was still, and always
would be, a Rynax creature, for all she was in this vast world of
humans.
Tears made their way down glowing cheeks, the tears that she no longer
allowed herself to shed during the day but that had in truth never dried
during all these years. Kurisumasu was... alone.
The glowing woman doubled over in her swirling dance, the pain in her
chest just too much for her to take. Alone. She was Rynax and she was
alone. A Rynax cannot exist alone, yet here she was, the only Rynax that
still remained in the world of man. Kurisumasu bit her lip trying not to
scream her pain.
Around her floated the fireflies, their luminous flight so reminiscent
of her own kind, of the true form of Rynax as tiny, ever-glowing,
ever-dancing points of light in the vast world hidden within the tiniest
of building blocks that made this world. Eternally dancing in the
embrace of their Pair.
Kurisumasu floated higher, nearly breaking from the twirling lights of
the fireflies, turning her face towards the pale light of the full moon.
She reached out her arms as if to embrace it, yet it was not that pale
satellite that she saw. A broken whisper left full lips and quivered in
night air, the only sound in this little universe of light.
"Kurau"
Kurisumasu's Pair. Her Pair, her partner, her twin, her soul, her
mate... there existed no single word in any human tongue that could hope
to accurately describe what Kurau was to her. Humans had no words
because they could not grasp this, not really understand what it was to
be one entity divided into two sentient parts, but there were those that
tried, friends that tried to understand and sympathise with Kurisumasu's
pain. She loved them all the more for it, and in return she only showed
them her smiling face.
But inside Kurisumasu was always crying. She had been doing that ever
since that night ten years ago, when her Pair, her beloved, her Kurau...
left this vast world without her.
Even as the humans around her, those she considered friends and family,
rejoiced as the threat of Rynax left this world along with her precious
Kurau, the small child Kurisumasu had been then had broken down in such
deep and uncontrollable tears that her friends had feared she would do
herself damage. She had been escorted back here, to this small mountain
valley and to her aunt and uncle, in the hopes that their love would
help her heal.
Kurisumasu had agreed with the decision, not merely because she loved
her aunt and uncle dearly, although she did, but also because it was far
away from... her. Other-Kurau, the human woman who bore the name and the
face of Kurisumasu's lost beloved yet nothing of her spirit. Other-Kurau
was not a bad person, far from it, the woman had in fact even taken the
time to visit or write to Kurisumasu upon occasion, to see how she fared
in the world on her own, but the visits were too painful. To see another
soul look at her through the blue eyes where love had always lived
before was just too much for Kurisumasu, and Other-Kurau respected that.
Kurisumasu felt both relieved and grateful for this measure of
understanding, and although now, ten years later, little remained in
Other-Kurau's features that were truly that reminiscent of Kurisumasu's
Kurau, it would still be too painful to see. Father, on the other hand,
Kurisumasu had been sad to notice kept no contact with his supposed
'second daughter', presumably too pleased with having his real, human,
child back and opting to forget all about the pain of the last twenty
years caused all by his experiments.
She did not fault him, it was understandable that he would and
Kurisumasu had as loving parents as she could ever have wished for in
her aunt and uncle, and these mountains where her Kurau had played as a
child were dear to her. Kurisumasu did not lack for friends in this
world, both near and far, Dag even going so far as to come visit her
every now and again to see how she was doing and to speak of Kurau. He
had perhaps seen the most of their shared life, hers and Kurau, and
understood somewhat more of Kurisumasu's hidden pain than others did, of
that she was certain.
Dag often brought his son along for these visits, Ted, which Kurisumasu
had always welcomed as a child as the boy became a treasured friend as
well, but the young woman found a source of... concern. As children they
had played together, and somewhere along the line she had gotten used to
calling him her boyfriend as a joke. It had seemed a harmless joke, her
family knew well the impossibility of the concept, as did Dag, as did
most certainly Kurisumasu herself... she had thought Ted did as well,
but somehow it seemed he had forgotten as they grew older.
It was with a sense of guilt that Kurisumasu had asked, somewhat
awkwardly, her friend Dag to explain to his son what she somehow had
once again failed to convey; that although Kurau was not with her,
Kurisumasu would eternally belong to her and her alone regardless. She
felt guilty for the concept that Ted would develop stronger feelings for
her had never crossed her mind, and yet Kurisumasu herself had on
several occasions used the pretence of Ted to ward off admirers in her
little village that would otherwise have shown more friendliness than
Kurisumasu was entirely comfortable with.
How could they ever hope to understand that all of Kurisumasu's love,
her hopes, her dreams, even her very self, had gone from the world
together with a tiny dying light torn forcibly from Kurau's human form
after saving the world ten years ago? Could they ever comprehend the
reason that Kurisumasu was still alive when death had seemed the only
end to her pain was that she had taken that flickering light into her
own chest before it could vanish completely, and that somewhere in the
vastness of the world within herself, her beloved Pair, Kurisumasu's
Kurau, lay sleeping deeply, leaving Kurisumasu with the faint hope that
one day before Kurisumasu's human life was over Kurau would awaken,
restored, and come back to her.
Ten years had passed since then. Ten years during which Kurisumasu had
been alone, not even able to sense a trace of Kurau's presence within.
A Rynax that loses its Pair invariably goes insane and dies. That was
the truth as she had learned it alongside Kurau in those days. And yet
Kurau had withstood ten years of solitude before Kurisumasu had awakened
into the world and she had, although lonely, not been damaged...
Kurisumasu felt she had no right to complain that she had waited for ten
years for Kurau also, and she did her best to put on a brave face and
endure, but it was getting to be so difficult.
So very difficult. Kurisumasu did not know how much longer she could
withstand this without ending her pain one way or the other.
Tears dripped from her cheeks to send tiny ripples across the lake as
Kurisumasu scrunched up to hold her knees tight to her chest while
sinking in the air until the hem of her thin white nightgown brushed the
water's surface. She allowed herself to fall back until she lay prone in
the air just above the water, the fireflies dancing above her now
dimming light.
Inside Kurisumasu's soul screamed with such desperation she could taste
it in the back of her mouth, and sobs wracked her slender form.
"Come back to me Kurau"
Kurisumasu closed her eyes to the light and wept as the heartbroken
child she had been that time had done, her entire body shaking violently
with each deep-wracked sob.
She did not see her own light flicker and twist until it suddenly flared
brightly.
She did not see how the light drew together to one incredibly brilliant
point just above her chest.
Kurisumasu could however not miss the sensation that had her slender
back arch until her long black hair kissed the water's surface as that
brilliant point of light wrestled itself free of her.
This feeling. She knew this feeling.
Coming upright to face the light Kurisumasu was wordlessly weeping once
more although the tears were not grieving ones, she watched in unbridled
joy as it grew in intensity and size until... the light faded to match
her own, and there she was.
Kurau, naked and glowing, looking exactly as she had ten years earlier,
tall and strong, her black hair short and her smile open and friendly,
and... the most important thing of all... those blue eyes looked at
Kurisumasu with all the love of the world brimming in them. Kurisumasu
felt her soul become whole again.
"I'm sorry I've kept you waiting, Kurisumasu." The warm, somewhat
deeper-pitched voice washed over Kurisumasu as a caress to her heart and
a promise to heal. "I'm home now."
With a strangled sound halfway between a sob and a laugh Kurisumasu
threw herself into Kurau's arms, clinging to her desperately, needing
the warmth and the strong embrace right then to reassure her of what she
already knew. Kurau was with her again. While hiding her face into
Kurau's shoulder Kurisumasu managed to gasp.
"Welcome home, Kurau."
And around them the lights continued their twirling dance over the
water.
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