Ouroborus

a Jubei-chan fanfiction by Erica Friedman

The wind whistled through the tall grass plaintively. She inched 
slowly forward, timing her movements to coincide with the susurrus, 
careful not to move too much – or too little. It wasn't hard; she 
could feel the wind on her face - gauging its strength, the way it 
split the high grasses, was simply a matter of practice. And Mikage 
had had a lot of practice. Not exactly three hundred years – but it 
had seemed like it at times. Mick and she had known nothing else for 
so long…. 

Mikage shook her head slightly. Those days were gone, and she had to 
stay focused on what she was doing here and now. The wind picked up 
again and she bunched her legs underneath her, ready to move forward, 
but something made her stop. The sound was wrong, not the whistle of 
the wind at all… Mikage threw herself to the side, just out of range 
of the sword that would have cut her in half. Her cover blown, she 
rolled to her feet and faced her opponent. Face and body were covered, 
unrecognizable, but she knew who it was – and knew what she had to do 
to defeat him. 

Her sword became a blur as she struck. She shifted the blade, 
reflecting the sun into her opponent's eyes, but he wasn't there 
anymore. She stood her ground, casting about for any sign of movement. 
She knew better than to move – he would have to show himself 
eventually. 

Mikage slowed her breathing, watching, waiting, above all, listening. 
The motion was presaged by no more than the slightest noise, but it 
was one second too late and her sword was already there. Her opponent 
collapsed to the ground breathing heavily. Even in death he did not 
speak, dying silently, face down upon the dry ground.

Mikage stood over him, her eyes cold. This would not be the last 
assassin he sent after her…nor the worst. Sheathing her sword, she 
walked away.

***

The shrine was directly ahead, a rotten corpse of a building 
surrounded by a lake of detritus. The graveyard was overgrown and 
choked with weeds, the garden long subsumed into the surrounding 
woods.

The slithering noise she made was barely audible over the birdsong, 
but her mutterings and curses were loud and insistent. Slither, curse, 
mutter, groan, slither. One more slither noise and a soft "thump" 
brought the birds to a stop. After a moment, neither slither, nor 
curse, nor moans were heard and the birds took up their conversation 
once again. She lay in the courtyard, still and quiet, while blood 
pooled softly beneath her prostrate form.

***

The water was cool as it drizzled past her cracked lips into her 
mouth. It felt so good that a shudder of pleasure/pain ran through her 
body. She found her tongue and moved it experimentally around her 
mouth before swallowing audibly and painfully. A coughing fit told her 
that her lungs, though burning, were still working. She still couldn't 
open her eyes, so she reached out to gain the attention of her savior.

"Sssshhh." The voice was soft and girlish. "You're safe. Don't try to 
move or talk."

Mikage managed to lick her lips. "Danger," she said. "There's…danger."

"I know," the voice said sadly.

***

Mikage cracked open an eye. She had always assumed that that was a 
figure of speech, but as her encrusted eyelids painfully and 
reluctantly separated, she had a sense of unreality, as if all things 
that were metaphorical had suddenly come to life. Raining cats and 
dogs, cracking open an eye…she lifted a hand to assist with the other 
eye, but the hand felt funny. What she was able to see was swathed in 
bandages, looking mummified and clumsy. Her eye closed and she sank 
into herself with a little whine of self-pity.

There was a noise and she could hear footsteps. "You're awake," the 
voice said pleasantly. This voice was lower than the other one, older, 
more mature. "Can you open your eyes?"

Mikage dutifully opened her one eye, but decided against nodding. 
Something in her head warned her not to move too much. She couldn't 
see her nurse, but didn't care much. If the woman had wanted to kill 
her, she would have already.

"You lost a lot of blood and were covered in cuts and bruises. I've 
had to bandage you up pretty thoroughly, sorry. You had two broken 
ribs and one hand was cut pretty badly. For some reason, not one vital 
organ was punctured…."

"Danger," Mikage whispered urgently. "Tell Jubei…"

The woman stepped around into her line of vision. She leaned forward 
and put out a hand to steady Mikage. Yagyuu Jubei's reincarnation 
looked down at her with sympathy and understanding shining in her one 
visible eye. "I already know. Relax."

Mikage stared at the young woman in wonder. "How?"

But Jubei was gone again, her voice coming from behind Mikage. "Get 
some rest, I'll be back with some food."

Mikage closed her eye; sure she would not be able to sleep. There were 
too many questions to be answered, too much danger to fall asleep…

***

This time it was a cool cloth against her eyes that woke her. After a 
few passes, Mikage was able to open both eyes. The face in front of 
her was blurry, but she could clearly make out the eye patch, the full 
lips, the brown hair of Yagyuu Jubei. The young woman's face was 
serious as always.

"Good morning," Jubei said. "Do you think you could eat something?"

Mikage searched in herself, looking for nausea from a concussion, or 
weakness from injury. All she found was an achingly empty stomach. 
"Yes," she said and ventured a cautious nod.

"Good. Here." Jubei took a spoon and a wooden bowl from a table and 
placed them on her lap. Looking down at Mikage, she waited for the 
other woman to struggle to a more upright position. 

Mikage's head pounded slightly, but she felt no dizziness, so she 
turned her gaze on the other woman. "What is it?"

"Rice gruel. Hajime-kun's mother made it."

Mikage reached out for the bowl, but stopped at the sight of her hand. 
Rounded and blunt, the bandages precluded any kind of dexterity. Jubei 
smiled slightly.

"I'm afraid you'll have to let me feed you."

Mikage did so, pretending that there was no wound to her dignity. The 
gruel was soothing, bringing memories of a quiet moment in her 
childhood. She was glad that it was barely flavored, gladder when the 
ordeal was over. Jubei wiped Mikage's face one last time and took the 
bowl with her as she stood.

"Jubei-sama," Mikage ventured, "why you? Why isn't Jiyu-san the one 
nursing me?"

Jubei turned and looked down at the other woman. "It isn't safe for 
Jiyu right now. That's why we came here." She gestured around her. 
"We'll talk more later."

Mikage watched as the young woman left the room and closed the door. 
She let her eyes droop and pondered her situation. The enemy had 
returned, she knew that – obviously Jiyu, Jubei, knew that too, or she 
wouldn't be there. But why would Yagyuu Jubei herself tend the wounds 
of a minor soldier in a great war? There was something she didn't 
know, something she was missing. With this thought, she fell asleep 
once more.

When Jubei entered the room the next morning, she found Mikage awake 
and standing. The woman was struggling into a light robe, but it hung 
open and loose, since she was unable to tie it closed. Jubei glanced 
at her and quickly joined the ties; her nimble fingers making small, 
tight bows.

"Thank you," Mikage smiled. "I wasn't sure how I was going to do that. 
I didn't know if anyone else is here."

"Not at present," Jubei said. "Hajime-kun and Shiro-kun come every 
evening, but right now we're alone. Do you think you can walk?"

Mikage shook a leg. "A little, yes. I don't want to stay in bed too 
long."

Jubei nodded with understanding and put out an arm to steady Mikage, 
who took a few wobbly steps. She could feel the muscles in her legs 
protest, but no more than exhaustion and the pain of mild contusions 
met her efforts. Breathing softly, shallowly, Mikage leaned on Jubei 
as they walked down a short passage.

"How is your breathing?" Jubei inquired.

"Fine, as long as I keep relaxed." Mikage said, pausing as she spoke. 

"The broken ribs were the worst injury you received," Jubei confirmed. 
"Here." She left Mikage's side and slid a door open. The two women 
stepped out onto a veranda. The sun shone down on them as Jubei 
assisted Mikage to recline.

Mikage could see dragonflies flitting through the overgrown garden, 
hovering for a second, then moving off in a blur of color. She looked 
up as Jubei's hand was laid across her forehead. The brown eye was 
expressionless, as the swordswoman considered her findings.

"You feel fine, no fever. Are you up to talking?"

Mikage nodded. "I'd prefer it. There's no time to relax – you know, 
you said, but you can't know everything."

Jubei nodded. "I know that Ryujoji is back and he has more power this 
time than the last. I know that he is rounding up his former ninja and 
killing them, I know he is absorbing their energy for some reason and 
I know," she paused, "I know about Mick." This last was said very 
softly.

Mikage closed her eyes. "He's dead, isn’t he? I haven't seen him in 
months…" Her voice cracked and she felt as if she was slipping into a 
dark well…she opened her eyes quickly, so that the light of the sun 
and the colors of the garden would impress themselves against her 
eyes. Look, not black and cold, colorful and warm, look….

"I don't know." Jubei's voice was cool. "Missing, presumed." 

Mikage turned wounded eyes on the warlord. 

"I know it's horrible, Mikage-san. I know it's painful. But you must 
not dwell on it." Something flashed in the brown eye and Mikage bowed 
her head. But she resented being told that mourning her husband was 
unworthy. What was she, this young girl, who had never loved, never 
feared, never lost….?

"Mikage-san," the voice was sharp. "You do not know what I have lost, 
how much I have lost. I don't make light of this, rest assured."

Mikage turned smoldering eyes on Jubei and saw an answering fire in 
the other woman's gaze. Mikage shook herself. Three hundred years…she 
found herself speaking quietly. "He, Ryujoji, came back a year ago. At 
first it was the ninja of the lower ranks. They had scattered when you 
defeated him, so we didn't notice at first. But there were reports of 
missing people, mostly low class criminals and the like. Then one of 
Mick's friends disappeared, then another. Then Koshiro-kun disappeared 
and we realized something was wrong." Mikage's manner became earnest. 
"Six months ago he came for us. He sent a few ninjas – no one we knew 
and we defeated them, but then…" Mikage paused. She took a slow 
breath, trying to ease the pain in her side. "Then Mick disappeared. 
I've been looking for him ever since. I have fought off a few 
adversaries, but they've been getting stronger. A week ago, as I 
approached this shrine, I was attacked and you saw the result."

"Another ninja?" Jubei asked, her eye searching Mikage's face.

"One of my childhood friends." Mikage met her gaze. "He and I were 
trained together – we called each other brother and sister. But when 
he attacked me this time, I could see it wasn't him inside. His face 
was…well, evil. It was awful." She turned away to look out at the 
wilderness that surrounded the shrine.

Silence fell. The ambient noises of nature sounded like a battlefield 
to Mikage, with buzzing artillery overhead, punctuated by knocks and 
whistles. She cringed from the noise.

"What did you do?"

Mikage whirled on Jubei, her nostrils flared with pain. "I killed him 
– what do you think I did?" She breathed hard, holding onto her ribs.

Jubei considered and nodded. "I am sorry. I needed to know if I could 
trust you."

"Trust me to do what? Kill my friends and family? Yes, you can trust 
me." Mikage's voice was harsh.

Jubei leaned over, reaching out a hand. Mikage wanted to pull away, 
but didn't. "No Mikage-san, I wanted to know if I could trust you to 
love your friends and family enough to protect them from that evil 
whatever the cost."

Mikage exhaled. She felt deflated, wrung out, weary in body and mind. 
She turned away from Jubei, her eyes dark with pain. "If Mick returns 
to me like that, then yes, I love him enough to kill him."

Jubei shot her a hard glance but said nothing.

After a long silence, Mikage said, conversationally, as if they had 
speaking of this all along, "So, why is it that Jubei-sama nurses me, 
feels my head for fever and brings me gruel? Where is little 
Jiyu-san?"

Jubei shook her head. "She can't help you right now."

As Mikage watched the other woman a brief flash of pain crossed her 
face. "You are too much like her mother."

Mikage's defiance crumbled. She remembered poor Nonohara Sai, 
desperately attempting to look cheerful as his heart broke when she 
walked away from him. She felt terrible, but she had Mick and they 
were happy together. He was sweet enough but…she wondered idly if he 
had ever noticed those two girls watching them from the road. They 
were Jiyu's schoolmates, she remembered – she had met them at the 
party at the sweet shop.

"Oh," Mikage acknowledged.

Jubei rose from her seat. "I have to go rest. Would you like to stay 
here, or shall I help you back to your room?"

Mikage looked out on the garden and felt the sun on her face. "I'll 
stay here and sleep. It's warm and pleasant."

"I'll be back in a little while." Jubei stood and brushed off her 
pants. "If you wake and need me, call out and I'll be right here." She 
turned and took a step, but Mikage's hand restrained her. 

"Jubei-sama. Thank you."

Jubei gave her a small, tight smile and left her alone on the veranda.

Some time later, Mikage was barely aware of being lifted from her 
couch and brought back to her room. She could hear several voices, but 
she was unable to swim out of the well of sleep long enough to 
identify them.

***

The next day Jubei removed and reapplied all the bandages on her body. 
It took what seemed like forever, and Mikage was fidgety by the time 
the warlord made it to her left hand. This was the hand that had been 
cut nearly to the bone – she wondered that it hadn't been sliced off.

"I don't know why," Jubei mused as she applied the final wrappings, 
"but nothing but flesh was severed. You should be able to regain full 
use of it." She looked up, her eye flashing with respect. "You're very 
good."

"Very lucky." Mikage demurred. "I missed my block and had to fend off 
a close strike by hand." She pulled her hand from Jubei's grasp and 
looked at it. "It was poor fighting. I was weak."

Jubei watched her for a moment, then stood, cleaning up the remnants 
of her old bandages. "When you're healed, we'll make sure that you 
never do that again."

Mikage looked up quickly. "What?"

"Practice." Jubei looked back at her. "Or will you abandon me as soon 
as I need you?"

Mikage's eyes widened. "But…you, you can't possibly need me – you're 
Yagyuu Jubei!"

"I'm not a fool, Mikage-san. I can't defeat him alone – I wasn't alone 
last time, and I barely defeated him then."

Mikage considered. "Hajime-san, Shiro-san?" she asked.

"I don't like to include them, but yes – they are with me." Jubei's 
eye narrowed. "He will come for them, sooner or later. Will you help 
me protect them – protect Jiyu?"

Mikage's jaw set. Of course. How had she forgotten Jiyu-san, who had 
saved her – not Jubei, but Jiyu, throwing herself into the maelstrom 
of Mikage's self-deception….

"I will die for Jiyu-san." Mikage said firmly.

Jubei hmphed with quiet amusement. "I don't want to see it come to 
that."

***

The days passed quietly. Mikage watched her bandages thin, then begin 
to disappear. Slowly, she began to exercise lightly. Walking around 
the shrine grounds helped her rebuild leg strength. Fighting would 
have to wait until hand and ribs were fully healed. 

She did not see Jubei very often. Mikage imagined that the girl left 
her in the morning, transforming into Jiyu on her way to school, 
returning in the afternoon to check on her. Once, while walking along 
a densely grown path, she thought she saw Jiyu cycling on the road 
below, but wasn't sure. Twice she had managed to catch a glimpse of 
Hajime – or was it Shiro? She thought it was Hajime, his face was more 
open than his brother's. Feckless, she thought, but didn't dwell on 
it.

At last the hand had nothing but a light wrapping, more to keep the 
wound clean than to hold it together. She would have a scar on the 
hand, but that was a small price to pay for her ability to use it once 
again. She worked on dexterity exercises during the day, waiting now 
only until her ribs were fully healed. She woke up facing her sword, 
cleaned and oiled it every day, contemplated it every evening. She 
would use it again one day in defense of Jubei, Jiyu…and Mick.

***

Jubei entered after a short knock on the door. Her normally serious 
face was lachrymose. Mikage's heart skipped a beat and a cold lump 
settled into the pit of her stomach. The two women stared at each 
other for a long while. Jubei put a hand gently on Mikage's shoulder 
as she crouched.

"I'm so sorry," Jubei's voice was low and rough with grief.

Mikage stared at the single visible eye, feeling the cold spread from 
her stomach towards her heart.

"I knew it," was all she could manage before the numbness spread to 
her lips.

Jubei watched Mikage, but made no motions, offered no words of 
comfort. Mikage wondered if any kind of heart at all beat within that 
deceptively feminine chest.

"Do you want to be alone?" the ancient warlord asked. Mikage started 
to nod, changing it at the last moment to a brief shake of the head. 
Jubei, sensing the woman's ambivalence, seated herself where she 
squatted. Within arm's reach, but no closer.

Mikage looked at her sword. Jubei followed her gaze, her lips tight. 
Mikage forced the words from between clenched jaws. "I'll kill him."

Jubei nodded. "I swear you'll have your vengeance."

Mikage stared at the young woman with distaste. Jubei met her gaze 
evenly and, seeing the pain the other woman was suffering, she slowly, 
deliberately, reached up and removed the patch from her eye. Mikage's 
vision blurred as the air around the woman bent and swirled. When she 
was able to see clearly again it was Nonohara Jiyu that was sitting 
with her.

"Mikage-san," the girl said, her eyes welling with tears.

Mikage's head drooped as the tears came. She could feel herself being 
drawn forward into a comforting embrace, and the wails of pain began.

When the sobbing died down and only the soft sounds of a soul in 
torment were left, Jiyu laid Mikage's head on her lap and stroked the 
woman's hair softly. The older woman could hear Jiyu singing a soft 
lullaby, the words barely audible, but the tune was familiar.

"What song is that?" Mikage asked. Her voice was strange to her own 
ears – she sounded like a child.

"A song my mother used to sing to me when I was upset,"" Jiyu answered 
simply. She paused. "You remind me a little of her." They both knew 
that – it was just something that had to be said..

Mikage let the tears fall from her eyes onto her hand and the floor, 
her chest hollow with an aching loneliness. This feeling was all too 
familiar – she remembered feeling it for many long years before Mick 
had come into her life. With a start, she realized something terrible.

Sitting up abruptly, Mikage stared at Jiyu. "You feel it too, don't 
you?"

Jiyu tilted her head quizzically. "Feel what?"

"That feeling." Mikage laid a hand on her own chest and one on Jiyu's. 
"That something's gone from here."

Jiyu looked down at the hand that touched her and back at Mikage, 
nodding slowly. "But I was very young when my mother died – I feel it 
more for other people than myself."

"For your father?"

Jiyu nodded again. "And for you."

Mikage's tears intensified. She removed her hand from the girl and 
clasped it with her other hand , wringing and squeezing them together. 

Jiyu simply waited and watched, her eyes bright and softened by 
sadness. Night fell, and the room became dark. 

Mikage moved slowly, as if pulling herself from a tar pit. "I want to 
help you defeat him. Three hundred years is long enough."

Jiyu shifted uncomfortably. "I…I don't know what I can do…"

"You can't do anything," Mikage said shortly. "But Yagyuu Jubei can."

Jiyu sucked in a sharp breath and stood. Mikage could feel the girl 
vibrating with emotion. Jiyu whirled around on her heel and left the 
room without another word. Mikage collapsed where she sat and cried 
herself to sleep.

***

Mikage paused, her foot hovering lightly over the trap. Stepping 
carefully around it, she paused again and waited. There was no noise, 
except for the ever-present birds, but she knew that she was not 
alone. 

The figure came at her in a rush from above. Mikage was ready and 
easily avoided the clumsy attack, sidestepped the trap, and the 
secondary snare that was placed where she should have set her foot 
down. Leaping lightly, she used her attacker's shoulder as a foothold, 
then flipped as she shoved him off-balance. Landing lightly on her 
feet, she reached backwards just in time to grab her opponent's arm, 
saving him from the large pit that waited below the deceptive matting.

She turned and patted the young man on the back as he whipped his mask 
off and grinned at her. "Mikage-san, that was amazing!"

She gave him a curt nod. "Thank you Shiro-san. You've improved as 
well."

He pinked with embarrassment. "This is very different from kendo…" he 
deferred the compliment. "I still have a long way to go before I'll be 
as good as you – or Jubei-sama."

Mikage gave him a hard look. "You'll never be as good as Jubei-sama."

The boy's face flushed, this time with something stronger than 
embarrassment, but Mikage hadn't waited to see his reaction. Her body 
was feeling good, primed, ready for battle. The adrenaline rush was 
subdued but present. She chafed against the restrictions the warlord 
had put on her, and desperately wanted to get the hell out of this 
obscure place and onto the path of vengeance.

Gruffly, she made her way back to her room and closed the door behind 
her. She didn't bother with a light, letting her eyes adjust to the 
gloom.

Her ribs were long healed, her loneliness hardly noticed anymore, 
except as a vague ache in her chest in the darkness of the night. 
Summer had passed and autumn was approaching. Her heart burned for 
vengeance, but she had sworn to serve Jubei, so serve she did. 

Mikage looked into the little mirror that served as her vanity, 
perched over the washbasin. She splashed some water on her face, 
contemplating the cold visage that was reflected. Something worried 
her every time she looked at herself, as if a little bit of her 
humanity was slipping away, day by day. Her eyes were expressionless 
and she couldn't remember the last time she had smiled.

A knock sounded on the door. Mikage made an affirmative noise and 
watched as the door slid open. A figure slipped in quietly, almost 
imperceptibly. Mikage kneeled as Jubei stood before her.

Jubei raised her to her feet, and regarded her seriously. "I wish you 
wouldn't do that," the young woman said.

Mikage kept her head down. "Yagyuu Jubei should be used to it."

"I am not feeling myself, I've been told."

Mikage looked up at the young woman. Her voice had been wry – was that 
meant to have been a joke?

Jubei turned away, hands clasped behind her back. "It's been months," 
she said suddenly.

"Yes."

"It won't be long before he comes."

"We're ready."

Jubei spun around to face the other woman. "We are not even close to 
being ready."

Mikage bristled. "We train every day. Our…my senses are at their peak 
– even those boys could hold their own against what I was capable of 
in the past. And…"

"And he is one hundred times stronger than that now." Jubei shook her 
head slowly. "And we have lost our ability to love one another."

Mikage said nothing.

"Do you remember the last time I fought him?" Jubei urged. "It was 
love that saved me – not skill."

"My love is dead." Mikage said.

"But mine is not." Jubei stood very still, her hands still clasped. "I 
have thought about this a very long time, Mikage-san. Why I was 
brought back in *this* body and no other.

"I died an old man, one who had had a family, a clan, sons and 
daughters. Koinusuke was not my best or most devoted servant – nor was 
he my most competent. But he loved me, and I him. And I could see that 
he would have that same love for me whether I was reborn into a 
man-child, a horse, a cow, or a beautiful girl. I did not make that 
choice lightly."

The ninja turned back to the window. The light was pale, featureless, 
the sounds of the night loud in the background. Mikage could hear the 
two boys preparing dinner, along with the few other people who knew of 
this place.

"I chose to be a woman, so that I would better understand loss and 
pity and compassion. I have learned a great deal from this Jiyu…this 
Jubei-chan. She is a very strong soul in a very soft body." Jubei 
turned and smiled. Mikage thought that this was the very first time 
she had ever seen Jubei smile like that. Something in her swelled, 
something aching to break free, but she swallowed it.

"It hasn't stopped her from losing those she cares about," Mikage 
protested.

"No. But she has gained a great deal of strength from that. More than 
I would have – more than you have." Jubei took a step towards the 
other woman. "Mikage-san, we *all* lose those we love eventually. I 
have lost everyone in my clan, all my family and my beloved wife and 
children. They are all dead 300 years."

"And my loss is mere months? Is that what you mean to say?"

"No, I mean to say this. You have not yet grieved properly for Mick – 
and I am sure he would not want you to seek vengeance. I mean to say 
that this sharp edge of hatred and need for revenge will be what 
defeats you ultimately."

"So be it." Mikage's will was adamant. 

"And," Jubei said casually, as if this was just something extra that 
occurred to her as an afterthought. "I mean to say that if you die, I 
will miss you terribly."

Jubei's face was shadowed. "I have come to care deeply for you, 
Mikage-san. You alone on this planet I consider my equal." And with 
that, the ancient warlord in the young body made a quick bow and 
exited the room.

Mikage stood for a long time and watched the door.

***

Mikage knocked and slid the screen back. Stepping into the room, she 
kneeled quickly, then walked upon her knees to the required distance 
for a senior officer to her lord. Removing her sword, she laid it 
beside her, and touched her head to the mat. "I humbly request a 
favor," she said to the ground.

Jubei spoke without looking at the woman. "What is your request?"

"I request a duel."

This made the ninja look up sharply. "Against whom?"

"You."

There was a shocked silence, then, "Why?"

"If I win, you will grant me two favors. If you win, I will grant you 
one."

Jubei's lips quirked. "That seems unfair."

Mikage lifted her head. "In light of what you will request, I do not 
think it at all unfair," she said calmly.

Jubei considered her words. "I see," she said at last. She seemed to 
withdraw a little into herself. "If it will make you happier and avert 
this challenge, I will grant one of your requests right now. The 
second and lesser one. I know what you will ask and now I am prepared 
to answer the question."

Mikage shook her head, lowering it once again to the ground. "No. I 
will win the right to ask you this question, or will go to the grave 
not knowing."

Jubei's eyes narrowed. "Mikage-san, this is stupid. If you know what I 
want – and I know what you want to know, then why should we not set 
this charade aside and address the issue directly?" She took a breath 
audibly. "And you clearly *already* know the answer to your question."

Mikage shook her head once again. "I will hear it from your lips."

"I'm prepared…" Jubei began.

"NO!" Mikage said, one had clenching in front of her. "I will win my 
right to hear it."

Jubei glared at the woman. "Fine. When and where?"

Mikage looked up, her eyes burning. "Now. Here. Until one of us 
yields."

Jubei nodded shortly. "Now."

And the two women simply sat, staring at one another. Time passed, 
neither of them moved. Their eyes were locked upon each other, each 
searching out a weakness, an intent upon which to act.

In a heartbeat, Jubei was up and moving towards Mikage, her sword 
drawn, held behind her. Mikage moved as quickly, drawing her own sword 
in a single motion as she stood.

Their movements were so fast they were almost invisible to the eye. 
Swords moved in mere flashes of light, their footsteps practically 
inaudible. Their breaths came quietly, soft, hushed noises, as they 
moved time after time to strike and counter one another. 

The door opened and Hajime entered. He ducked as Mikage's sword 
whistled above his head and quickly, he retreated. Mikage could hear 
the boy's voice crying out, but she couldn't pay attention to his 
words, as Jubei had once again closed with her.

Swords and bodies pressed against one another, the two women swayed 
momentarily, then parted with an outburst of heavy breathing. Mikage 
retreated outside, trying to lure Jubei into a trap.

The fight was too evenly matched and Mikage found herself wondering if 
she hadn't been wrong about this woman. Maybe Jubei's motive had been 
as simple as…

Swords met, and were immobilized, arms met and were neutralized. 
Mikage sought to gain a foothold, a lock, any position of control, but 
always Jubei was right there to meet her, to counter her. Mikage felt 
the hopelessness welling up within her. Tears sprang to her eyes and 
the blackness filled her.

Her hair darkened as she stared at her implacable enemy, markings of 
evil painting themselves on her face and her sword began to glow with 
a dark energy that burned. She gathered her muscles underneath her and 
shoved Jubei violently to the ground. 

Laughing at his enemy's weakness, Ryujoji Daigo, head of the Ryujoji 
clan, and implacable enemy of Yagyuu Jubei, stood over the girl, 
gloating.

"Thank you, Yagyuu Jubei, for training my weapon on my behalf. Had you 
not been so meticulous in her training, I would not have the chance to 
defeat you today." Ryujoji laughed again as he struck downward with 
his sword. To his dismay, the little ninja girl was not there. 
Turning, he barely avoided her attack from above and behind, managing 
to catch her on the ear as she moved past him. Teeth bared he shifted 
his grip on his sword. This time, he would have his victory.

He moved forward, his sword leveled at the staggering warlord's heart. 
There was a scream, several voices crying out the hated name, as his 
sword entered her chest. His cry of victory was cut short, however, as 
his own flesh parted to let her sword enter into him.

Mikage could feel a tearing sensation as sword rent flesh, and the 
tormented soul ripped away from her with a cry. Jiyu pushed Mikage out 
of the way of the locked combatants, as they once again fought their 
eternal battle to the death.

Jiyu rolled off Mikage's body, unconscious, and Mikage's vision swam. 
Before she passed out, she had to know…"Jubei-sama?"

And all went dark.

***

Mikage was up and about before Jiyu was able to get out of her bed. 
The former ninja met the young woman at the door of her room, and 
assisted her onto the veranda to sit in the sunlight.

"How are you feeling today, Mikage-san?" Jiyu asked politely.

"I'm fine, thank you." Mikage smiled at the girl. 

"I'm glad." Jiyu's voice seemed reserved.

"And you?" Mikage let a little worry slipped into her own question. 

Jiyu looked away. "I feel…odd."

"Odd?"

"Mmmm." Jiyu looked back at the older woman. "Like I've been asleep 
for a long time and am now waking up. Or just getting over a flu, or 
just had a heavy period."

Mikage's eyebrows rose at this. "Oh?"

"Mmm." Jiyu nodded. 

They sat in the sun and let the cicadas serenade them.

"I don't mean to be selfish, you know." Jiyu said as a non-sequitor.

"Selfish? You?" Mikage was amazed. "Who said that? Jubei-chan is the 
least selfish person I know!"

Jiyu smiled. "I know you have unfinished business with her, with 
Yagyuu Jubei - but I am so comfortable being me right now...I know I'm 
being unfair."

Mikage laid a comforting hand on her arm. "It can wait."

The conversation strayed then, to what Jiyu's father was writing, what 
the boys thought of the battle, of the Ruffians latest antics, of 
anything except what concerned them.

Hajime and Shiro's mother had once again cooked and the shrine 
demesnes were filled with light and song (courtesy of Bentaro) and 
laughter. Mikage made her excuses early, feeling suddenly at a loss 
among so many smiling, youthful faces.

She was patting down her sword in order to remove the accumulated oils 
from the blade, when the soft knock came. Without looking up, Mikage 
said, "Come in."

Jubei stepped in, her manner diffident and embarrassed. "I'm sorry," 
she began, but Mikage waved her words away impatiently. She slid rice 
paper over the blade, wiping away the bran and dirt, then took the oil 
in one hand. She applied it evenly to the sword, her motions following 
a soft, insistent rhythm.

Jubei sat and watched her, her legs crossed comfortably. When Mikage 
had completed her task, she sheathed the sword, cleaned up the 
materials and at last, turned her attention to the other woman.

"You won," she said firmly. "You saved me from him, from despair and 
death and I owe you my life – yet again." She scrambled to her knees 
and touched her head to the floor. "I'm yours, body and soul. Ask me 
for anything and it will be yours."

Jubei did not answer. 

Mikage looked up. "You won. Ask."

Jubei said nothing. Angry now, Mikage lifted her head and leaned on 
one fist, the other tucked into her waist. "Jubei-sama…!"

Jubei shook her head. "It was a draw."

"We had a deal." Mikage insisted.

"It was a draw. You ask first." The young woman's voice was 
implacable, her gaze impenetrable.

Mikage pursed her lips. 

Jubei's eye was clear as she said, "Fine. Then I'll answer your 
question, as I would have before you challenged me. Your question was 
– is – 'Why does the great Yagyuu Jubei tend my wounds, comfort me in 
my darkness and train me personally?' The answer, as you must have 
realized, is…"

"That you needed to spend as much time as you could in this form, to 
be ready for him when he returned," Mikage said quickly. "I knew 
that."

Jubei smiled a little. "Are you that scared of the truth, Mikage-san? 
Yes, at first I determined that this was the only way to gain the 
strength I needed to fight Ryujoji. The last time I was unable to 
defeat him in this form because I was weak. But as we trained, as we 
talked, ate and lived in this place, I realized that I was never going 
to be able to defeat him. Not in this form, or any other. It was 
Jiyu's father that defeated him last time. And it was Jiyu herself 
this time who stopped him from killing us both. I will never, no 
matter how long I train, be able to defeat the 300-year old Ryujoji 
grudge. I will never be strong enough."

Mikage met the warlord's gaze with her own. 

"Many lifetimes ago, I was a young man, and I fell in love. She was as 
beautiful and sweet smelling as a tennyo, as mild as a doe and not of 
my rank. She knew perfectly well that we would never be anything but 
lovers. And we were content with that." Jubei smiled. "She did not 
look at all like you, but she had your fire – your spirit. I loved 
her, all those hundreds of years ago, Mikage-san."

Mikage felt the world swim behind her eyes. Of course, she had known. 
This Jubei was not just a young woman whose name was coincidentally 
Jubei – this was the great warlord himself Yagyuu Jubei, chief 
retainer to the Shogun, who had been brought back to life to finish 
fighting a battle begun three centuries ago. A battle she herself had 
been drawn into.

"You don't have to…" Mikage began.

"I want to." Jubei said with finality. "I am not Nonohara Jiyu, nor am 
I Nonohara Sai, who fell in love with a woman who looked too much like 
his late wife. I am Yagyuu Jubei, and I love you." Jubei passed a hand 
over her brow. "There, that was your first request and by far the 
harder. Your second, well, I'm sorry I couldn't allow you to do that."

Mikage stared. "Was I that predictable?"

Jubei's face softened and she smiled broadly. "Yes. You were so hungry 
for revenge and obviously chafing at my restrictions on your 
movements."

"So you used me? Kept me here to draw him here?" Mikage asked, full of 
deeply conflicting emotions.

Jubei shook her head. "No. It was a risk, of course, that your 
unhappiness would draw him to you – but I was more concerned for you, 
and Hajime-kun and Shiro-kun. They had both been his pawns and I was 
unwilling to let him get to them, or you, outside my control. For 
better or worse, I find myself now bound by the feelings Jiyu has for 
her friends." She hmphed. "Mixed with my own emotions, of course. I 
feel strongly that Shiro-kun and Hajime-kun are *my* responsibility, 
as well as caring for them for Jiyu's sake." She paused deliberately. 
When she spoke again her voice was dark.

"I also kept you here because of the magical wards on this place. 300 
years ago this shrine was a place where exorcisms were done as a 
matter of course. If Ryujoji attacked us here, there was a good chance 
to dispel him forever. Unfortunately, I don't think that is what 
happened."

"Why not?" Mikage asked.

Jubei gave a sharp, little laugh. "Because I am still here."

"Oh."

"It will take time of course, but he will be back."

"And we will defeat him again," Mikage said confidently.

"We?" Jubei's one eyebrow lifted. 

Mikage nodded. "You've answered my question, and granted my request." 
She looked up at the young woman, her face kindly. "It's your turn, 
since we had a draw."

Jubei turned away. "I can't."

Mikage reached out, but pulled her hand back before she touched the 
other woman. "You are an old man in a young woman's body. It must be 
hard for you."

"You have no idea," Jubei said dryly. "But more than that – I am 
myself, not Yagyuu Jubei, not Nonohara Jiyu. I am somewhere in between 
– and it is my own emotions that confuse me the most."

"I'll grant your request," Mikage said softly, invitingly.

Jubei looked at the other woman, her eye dark with emotion. "Then I'll 
make it. Stay here. Stay with me for six months. If, after that time, 
you want to leave, you'll be free to do so."

Mikage let the surprise show openly on her face. "That wasn't…"

"Six months," Jubei repeated. "And then you can leave me."

"And what if I don't want to leave after six months?" Mikage asked, a 
small smile forming at the corner of her lips.

Jubei watched her carefully, as she answered. "Then we can have 
another match to determine whether you stay or go."

Mikage was smiling openly now, as was Jubei. The older woman nodded, 
as if coming to a final decision. "Fine. Six months."

Jubei gave a short bow, then stood quickly. She turned away, sliding 
the door to Mikage's room open, then turned back to address the other 
woman.

Mikage held up a hand to stall her. "We'll talk about it in the 
morning. Right now, Jiyu-san should probably go home."

Jubei nodded, and stepping out through the door, closed it behind her 
without a word.

Mikage sat on the floor and listened to the sounds of the night fill 
the darkness. Without light, there was still life, but with light, 
there was also hope.

She laid herself down on her bed and for the first time in months, was 
asleep within seconds, sleeping a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

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