Confidants
Ever since Sango and Kirara had joined Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, and
Miroku in the search for the Sacred Jewel Shards, Kirara had always
shared a special relationship with the young fox-demon, Shippo. The only
full-blooded demons in their group, Shippo and Kirara were willing to
share many aspects of their lives with each other. They would frequently
talk among themselves when they were not needed in battle.
Despite beliefs among the other members of the group that Shippo and
Kirara were boyfriend and girlfriend, the truth was very different.
Shippo felt that Kirara was far too old for him, and Kirara simply did
not like Shippo in that way. The two demons were, however, very close
friends and confidants.
Most of their time spent traveling the Japanese countryside, the group
usually did not have beds to sleep on, and so usually camped out around
a fire that they made. The way that Kirara and Sango slept varied from
night to night. Sometimes, Kirara would take on her large, saber-toothed
form and acted as a pillow for Sango's head. Sometimes, Kirara chose to
stay in her cute, small, kitten-like form and would curl up next to
Sango.
It was one of those nights that Kirara slept in her smaller form. Kagome
was in her sleeping bag with Shippo tucked in next to her. Miroku was
next to Sango, opposite Kirara. Inuyasha sat up against a tree,
appearing meditative as he always did when he slept, his dog-like ears
still at attention, even thought he was not conscious.
Sango shifted in her sleep, causing Kirara to awaken. The small
cat-demon looked up at Sango's sleeping form. Kirara had been in Sango's
family for generations, but had never had a human friend as close as
Sango. The young demon-slayer was strong and gracefull in battle, but
was capable of so much kindness when she was not donned in her
skin-tight, demon-slayer outfit. Kirara loved every moment that she was
with Sango. She thought that Sango looked so beautiful as she slept.
Kirara emitted a small mew before curling up against Sango's body again.
"Kirara?" a small voice whispered from Kagome's direction. The
cat-demon's ears twitched as she listened for who it was that had spoken
to her. Kirara looked in the direction of the voice to find that Shippo
had awoken. "Is something wrong, Kirara?" asked Shippo.
Leaving the rest of the group for the time being, Shippo and Kirara
wandered to a small river to talk in private like they occasionally did
during the night. The two small demons looked out across the river,
admiring the light of the full moon shimmering in the water. "You've
seemed kind of preoccupied lately," Shippo said to Kirara.
"I know," said Kirara in a feline tongue that only other demons such as
Shippo could understand. "Ever since I met up with Kohaku the other day,
I've felt..." Kiara trailed off, thinking of the right word to describe
what she felt. The best to describe it was, "...confused."
"Confused about what?" asked Shippo.
"Well, when Kohaku saved me from those demons," Kirara explained, "I was
reminded of the times that we used to share together, me, Kohaku, and
Sango. I thought about Sango and how much fun we had together with
Kohaku. Sango has never been that happy since before Naraku took Kohaku.
On that day, after Kohaku left, I wanted to see Sango smile like she did
before our dealings with Naraku."
"You really care a lot for Sango, don't you, Kirara?" Shippo asked.
"I do," said Kirara, her voice rife with longing. "I'm closer to Sango
than I am to any other human. In all my years fighting beside the
demon-slayers, I've never met another human as powerful, as gracefull,
as beautiful as Sango."
Shippo looked at Kirara in awe, almost unable to believe what he was
hearing. "Kirara," he asked, "are you in love with Sango?"
"Yes!" Kirara mewled. "I'm completely and utterly in love with Sango!"
Kirara rushed to Shippo and cried into the fox-demon's chest. She would
have never shown this kind of emotion in front of Sango. Admiring the
young demon-slayer as she did, Kirara never wanted Sango to worry about
her.
Shippo held the cat-demon in his arms, stroking Kirara's fur, comforting
her as best he could. After Kirara's heavyhearted sobs had died down a
little, Shippo asked, "How long have you known you've had these feelings
for Sango?"
"I suppose for as long as I've known her," Kirara said to her confidant.
"It hadn't really crossed my mind after we met up with you and Inuyasha,
but the memories that came back to me when I fought by Kohaku's side
brought those feelings back up to the surface." Kirara turned away from
Shippo and looked up at the moon again. "I've never felt such love for
anyone else except..." the cat-demon trailed off.
"Except...?" Shippo asked.
"...except for Midoriko," Kirara finished.
"Priestess Midoriko?" asked the fox-demon. "The priestess that created
the Shikon Jewel?"
"Yes. That's her," Kirara replied. "I fought alongside Midoriko while
she was still alive, in much the same way I fight alongside Sango today.
I would transform into my larger form, Midoriko would climb onto my
back, and we would slay the demons that terrorized the country."
"She was like a demon-slayer," Shippo realized, "but she used magic
instead of weapons like Sango and Kohaku use."
"That's right. I was so heartbroken when Midoriko died. The time that we
shared together was so precious to both of us."
"Did Midoriko return your feelings?" asked Shippo.
"Oh, yes," said Kirara. "Midoriko was the only person who had ever
returned my feelings of love. As soon as I confessed my feelings to her,
she gratefully jumped into my arms and told me that she felt the same
way about me that I did about her. I was so happy."
At that point, Shippo was very confused about what Kirara was telling
him. "Jumped into your arms? How could she do that with a cat?"
"I'm a nekomata," said Kirara. "As a nekomata, I do have a humanoid
form. Midoriko is the only person I've ever shown that form to. Nobody
else, not the demon-slayers, not even Sango knows that I can take on
that form. It was the only way that I could be with Midoriko completely
and fully. The only way that I could tell her how I felt." Kirara paused
before she spoke her next word. "The only way that we could consummate
our love."
"Why haven't you shown anyone else your humanoid form?" asked a very
intrigued Shippo.
"When Midoriko died, I was so heartbroken that I didn't want to fall in
love again. And so, I hid my humanoid form from everybody so that nobody
would know that I could take on a form that they could fall in love
with."
"Hiding your true self only hurts you more than you already are," said
the fox-demon.
"I know," said Kirara. "I hoped that I could show Sango my humanoid form
one day, that I could confess my feelings to her, that I could be with
her like I was with Midoriko."
"You should tell her," Shippo said. "If you've loved Sango for so long,
it's something that you should get off your chest."
"I can't now," Kirara said, obviously pained. "Sango is dedicated to
finding Kohaku. Until that changes, all I can be to her is a friend and
a loyal partner. Besides, she's in love with Miroku. And he's in love
with her. If I confessed my feelings for her right now, it would be too
awkward, for both me and her."
"Well you have to tell her someday," Shippo said.
"I know," said Kirara. "I will. As soon as I know she's ready to accept
my feelings." Kirara was surprised then by the amount of confidence that
had suddenly appeared inside her. She smiled at her confidant and said,
"Thank you Shippo for listening to what I had to say. I feel a lot
better now that I've talked to you about this."
"Any time," said Shippo with a wink.
"We should probably get some sleep," the nekomata said. "We have another
day of journeying tomorrow."
Kirara started on her way back toward the campsite when Shippo said,
"Wait." The cat-demon looked back at Shippo with an inquiring look.
"Would you mind showing me your humanoid form? I'd love to see what it
looks like."
"I don't know," said Kirara. "I'm kind of nervous. I haven't shown this
form to anyone for hundreds of years."
"Don't be nervous," the fox-demon reassured. "I'm sure you look
beautiful."
Kirara hesitated for a moment. Eventually, she turned toward Shippo and
looked directly at him. She closed her eyes and her golden fur started
to flare up, as if blown upward by a gust of wind. Her body grew larger,
she started to stand upright, her face grew shorter, her irises
contracted, the hair on her head grew longer, and the rest of her fur
transformed into a flowing kimono, colored gold with small, black
stripes knitted into it. Kirara had transformed into a beautiful,
humanoid woman, about twenty years of age in demon years. Aside from her
human characteristics, the nekomata retained her black, pointed ears,
her parted upper lip, the slitted pupils, the black diamond-shaped mark
on her forehead, and her two long, bushy tails.
Shippo was in awe of the tall woman that stood before him. "Wow,
Kirara," he managed to choke out. "I was right. You look beautiful!"
"Thank you, Shippo," Kirara said, this time in human tongue with a
heavenly human female voice.
"I'm sure that Sango would love to see you in this form when the time is
right."
"I hope so."
Kirara transformed back into her small, kitten-like form and walked back
with Shippo to the campsite. Everyone was still sleeping soundly. "Good
night, Kirara," Shippo whispered as he got back under Kagome's sleeping
bag.
Kirara mewed in thanks as she curled up next to Sango again. Again, the
cat-demon looked up at Sango's sleeping form. It was then that Kirara
decided to try something a little bolder. She hopped up into Sango's
body and curled up in the demon-slayer's lap. Sango sighed in her sleep
as Kirara warmed her body. Kirara sighed in happiness as well and
drifted into a peaceful sleep.
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