Let Me Share Your Pain
After a wonderful night of expressing their love, Rakka and Reki lay
content in each other's arms. The angle of the moons light through the
balcony window of Rakka's room illuminates the lower right corner of
the bed. Reki gingerly places her left hand on the right side of
Rakka's face, who places her right hand on top of Reki's and closes her
eyes, keeping her hand there as Reki slowly caresses the side of her
face, causing Rakka to produce a very low "Mmmm" sound. The sound was
barley audible, if it had not been for Reki's hand on Rakka's face
feeling the small vibration, she would have never known such a sound
was made.
Another low moan was produced from Rakka as Reki's hand left her cheek
to be replaced by the chill of the air. Rakka placed her hand were
Reki's once was, renewing the warmth on her cheek from the absence of
Reki's hand. Rakka then placed her hand on the side of the older
Haibane's face, she moved her hand to and through Reki's hair, stopping
just before the upper part of her neck. She gently pushed her head
towards hers, slowly meeting in a passionate kiss that seemed to last
to hours to them as they wrestled with their tongues. Rakka allowed
Reki to win, granting access to the contents of her mouth. As the kiss
ended Rakka softly said "I love you Reki." and Reki replied with an
equally soft "I love you too Rakka." as she caressed he side of the
smaller Haibane's face. Rakka closed her eyes, allowing sleep to claim
her. For a long time Reki simply stared at Rakka's sleeping face,
illuminated slightly by the glow of her halo. She smiled as she stroked
her brown hair, only for some of it to promptly reach for her halo
again. She repeated this two more times until she felt her eyes getting
heavy.
She wanted so much just to wrap her arms around the small girl and fall
asleep. Reki knew if she did that, she would risk hurting the one she
loved again. She vividly remembers that day...
~
It was morning time, and she had just woken up after having the same
dream that's tormented her for so long, but she'd rather dream that
same dream every night for the rest of her life than to see the
expression of pain in Rakka's face. Tears were slowly streaming down
Rakka's face from her closed eyes, she had her teeth clenched together
tightly from pain. Reki wondered why Rakka was making such a pained
expression until she quickly realized that she had her arms around
Rakka's waist, squeezing very tightly.
She quickly released her vice-like hold on the small Haibane, hearing
her exhale in relief. Rakka opened her tear-filled eyes to look at
Reki, who almost burst out crying at the look Rakka was giving; it
wasn't a look of anger or even fear, but a look of concern. Concern for
a person who had just caused her pain for the longest five minuets of
her life. Reki quietly said, "I'm sorry." fearing that the look of
concern on Rakka's tear streamed face would turn to a look of fear and
anger. But she was surprised when Rakka slowly responded with "You
didn't scream yourself awake this time."
Reki was stunned at Rakka's statement as she realized that she indeed
did not scream herself awake, something she's done every time she's had
that nightmare. Reki then wondered something else, if Rakka waited for
Reki to wake up why didn't she wake her? "Why didn't you wake me up?"
asked Reki. Rakka replied with "I wanted to feel your pain."
~
A single tear fell from each of Reki's eyes as she continued to stare
at the sleeping face in front of her. She ran her hand across the side
of Rakka's face, causing her to stir a little from the touch. "You say
you want to feel my pain, for me to share my suffering with you. I
can't do that though, it wouldn't be right to put my pain on you. I
love you too much to see you in pain, especially if it's from me. I'll
deal with this on my own." Then Reki started to lift Rakka's right arm
from around her, but then that arm quickly returned to its resting-
place on the side of Reki's waist. Reki felt Rakka's arms tighten
around her. "Please, don't turn around." came Rakka's soft voice. Reki
looked up at Rakka, seeing her pleading teary-eyed face. "Please, I
want you to fall asleep with your arms around me." came Rakka's
pleading voice. Reki looked away from the Charcoal Feathers face
replying, "I can't... what if, if I..." Rakka finishes her sentence for
her. "... Hurt me again?" Reki replies with a very low "Yes." Rakka
then buries hr face into Reki's chest and begins to cry.
"Reki please! I can't stand to see you hide behind that smile of yours.
I can understand you doing it around the others but, you don't have to
hide your pain when we are alone." Reki quietly spoke Rakka's name as
she continued. "I want to help you though this, you don't need to
experience this alone. I love you Reki, and if need be, I'm willing to
experience some of you pain with you... just like that one day." Reki
was now crying as tears began to run down the side of her face.
"...But, Rakka... I..." Rakka then looked up at Reki as a fresh new
round of tears began to bream her eyes. "Please! Just sleep facing me
then." Rakka then grasped Reki's right hand with both of hers and held
it tightly. "Let's just start like this, okay?" Reki looked at her hand
in Rakka's and smiled faintly and then placed her left hand over
Rakka's right hand. "OK."
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