Eris and the Lady Gemini
* Born of anger and despair
Who will strangle me
Who will untangle my hair*
The faucet squeaked on and the pipes rumbled before a steady stream of
water emerged. Her small hands cupped the chilled liquid and then
quickly she splashed it onto her face. Droplets fell from her pale
face onto the collar of her jacket as she stared blankly at her
reflection. Dark blue eyes looking back at her observing all the
noticeable flaws, making her feel ugly beneath the shallow florescent
lights of the restroom.
She tilted her head to view her profile, a graceless hand tracing her
jaw line. She was positively retched, unforgivably thin, and she felt
like the walking dead. But no one saw that really. Everyone still
observed her as what she was before her duties kept her from such
simple pleasures as sleep and a good meal. Her deterioration was
hardly purposeful, though a very select group would argue otherwise.
She blinked. The lights, the lights made her look worse than she was,
but she understood the message her failing reflection was sending. And
she was bound and determined to take it to heart.
A sigh escaped her and she leaned forward on the sink. Two more days
and she would be free of everything she was. Two more days and she
would just be Relena Peacecraft Darlain, rich girl. Then she could
kill Vice Minister Relena, Ambassador Relena, Dignitary Relena, and
Princess and Queen Relena all in one blow. Ten years of effort would
show its worth and she could lay the ghosts of her fathers to rest.
She shut her eyes, taking a deep breath, and then buttoned her jacket,
her pristine white and gold embroidered uniform that reflected her
status. Honey blonde hair respectfully pulled back into a ponytail
with an aristocratic black velvet bow, she found herself smirking at
how oddly appropriate it was for her to leave the political stage
wearing the very costume she had worn for her entrance. That life long
ago when she had been a princess.
Relena dusted the shoulders and lapels of her jacket before turning
and exiting the restroom. Charging back into the hell of the Grand
Conference to find her end.
**Out of her mouth she comes in rages
Like Vesuvius in heat
She runs ahead of her intentions
Though she’s programmed for defeat**
The Grand Conference was the last stage in a ten-year effort to bring
Earth and the colonies to a "perfect peace". Within the walls of the
last nine conferences laws and policies had been written, torn apart,
rebuilt, approved and denied countless times over. It was a month long
meeting of the heads of all nations and the colonies to come to their
final agreements and sign a universal treaty that would lie in affect
for over one hundred years.
Relena was slouching into her chair as for the millionth time some
ambassador from one of the outer colonies unleashed a rampaging speech
of disagreement to a policy that had been agreed upon three years
earlier. She listened to the booming banter from those that did not
approve of his outburst and those who agreed, and those whom were
interjecting with statements that had nothing to do with anything
being discussed. After a minute or so she sat back up gathering all
her documents and belongs, and shoved them into her leather briefcase.
The room suddenly fell silent as she stood from her place at the head
of the conference.
"Vice Minister Darlain", a hefty voice said almost apologetically.
"Where are you going?"
Relena hunched over her little space, sniffed and spoke into the
microphone to address the question, "I'm retiring to my room
Ambassador." Her eyes wandered over the baffled faces that met her.
"And before it is questioned let me state very clearly for the record
of this conference that I am here to preside over and sign the final
universal treaty. From the level of bickering amongst the other
dignitaries it is plainly obvious that the past ten years and nine
other conferences have meant nothing." She stood up straight, a softly
stern expression on her worn face, hidden by her knack for claiming
attention. "There are two days left to this Grand Conference ladies
and gentlemen. Two days and I am greatly discouraged by the actions
presented to me here. If you are not prepared to agree on a single
policy or law then I suggest we end this conference now and extend
this plan for two more years", she paused to take in the awe with
which she was being watched. "Of course in that time I hope everyone
is prepared to face the consequences of what waiting will do to our
nations and colonies. The longer we fight ladies and gentleman the
more time outside groups have to insight rebellion and destroy the
peace we have all worked so hard to secure."
She sighed regretfully and turned to walk out of the room. And as she
did a slow and steady applause built behind her. It rumbled in her
chest and forced her to face the crowd again. She raised her hands
calming the crowd.
"I admire the applause but such things are meaningless unless they are
meant." She swallowed and concluded with, "As moderator I am
concluding today's proceedings. In the morning if you have not found a
way to agree then I will have no choice but to cancel proceedings and
extend this conference out another year. I hope… it will not come to
that."
Relena Peacecraft Darlain made her exit then. Brushing past the praise
taking the stairs down to meet her car. She wondered if those she knew
at the conference were clapping as well. Was her lost pilot in the
crowd admiring her resolve? Was her lost lover smirking devilishly
waiting feverishly for the moment she could confront Relena about her
speech? Where the others watching the event even now as it was
replayed on the news? Would her words cause any of them to clamor to
remove her from power she no longer wanted?
Most of the questions would be answered with a no, and the one
question that would be answered with a yes she didn't deserve any
longer. Love affairs like politics she managed to ruin in pretty
colors and false promises. Her fist clenched the handle to her
briefcase tightly; turning her knuckles white as she moved through the
building and crowds of people to a secret exit that led to her car.
Relena shoved the door open to greet her driver and Preventor escort
with a grimace. Her escort held the door open for her and she fell
into the plush leather interior like a sinking ship. She wanted to
close her eyes, but managed to stay awake for the drive over to her
hotel to take some calls and answer questions from a few extremely
over apologetic world leaders, and snack on some crackers. Her young
Preventor escort watched her with distinguished awe. Another soldier
lost to the false charm and poise of her presence.
**By the hunger and the hatred
The prostitution of her nature
She has given and forgiven**
The hotel was thankfully void of reporters, but then the Preventor
agency had a near perfect record for keeping secrets from the press.
Relena ended her last call as she stepped out of the car. Nodding her
thanks to the driver she brushed a few misplaced strands of hair from
her face and began the slow saunter into the hotel lobby. The escort
followed her obediently until she reached the elevator to her suite at
which point another officer took over the duty.
By the time she reached her suite near the top of the hotel Relena was
ready to slip into a coma and never wake. It had been a long and
tedious day, with nothing to show but how impossible politicians were
and always would be. Nothing was going to change. It hardly mattered
to her any longer but it would matter to many when she retired from
her position as Vice Foreign Minister. She allowed herself to become
vaguely concerned about what would happen when she stepped down as the
poster girl for peace.
The elevator hopped slightly as the doors opened. Yet another young
Preventor greeting her and unlocking her suite. Security was extremely
tight around her at all times and not at her request. It was the other
world leaders that feared for her safety, as if peace could not be
achieved if Relena Peacecraft Darlain were taken out by a bullet. The
rather horrid thought that absolute peace might be achieved by her
assassination flitted over her mind making her smile. The old call in
her heart for something dark waking briefly before the demand for
sleep shook her from her revelry.
There were no guards in her room. For that she was more than grateful.
The door shut behind her and Relena quickly took herself to the
bedroom, only bothering to remove her jacket before sliding into the
bed, briefcase thrown to the side without care.
As her eyes shut she wished. And knowing her wish wouldn't come true;
sleep claimed her and sent her dreams that were purposely cruel.
Reminders of the things she lived through, the things that had
promised and never delivered.
***I’m tired of waking up
I’m sick of rolling off the bus
I want to sleep forever
In the lies I’ve made***
She woke at nine in the evening to the sound of someone rapping at her
bedroom door. She hoped it wasn't an overly panicked guard as she
groggily stepped over to the bedroom door and slid it open a few
inches. It wasn't a guard but it was a Preventor, the icy and stolid
queen of protection Lady Une.
Relena bit back her want to curse, switched on the light and opened
the door fully. She was certain she looked impressive with her hair
tangled around her shoulders, blue eyes angry from waking and slightly
crusted with sleep.
The lady of course waited patiently for Relena to gather her senses, a
bare smile on her pink lips as she stood.
Relena and Lady Une were hardly ever in the same room together. It was
not a point of coincidence but one of deep and scalding resentment,
bad blood that neither found the time to resolve. Even after the
incident with Mariemea the two did not see eye to eye. And Relena was
aware that most, if not all the uncomfortable spaces surrounding her
and Une were a direct result of her own inability to forgive. Worse
was the knowledge that the lady fully accepted the blame that Relena
presented. Worse and cutting the ex-princess with every moment she was
near the Preventor was the knowledge that Une fully expected to be
treated poorly. It was very hard to hate a woman who had and still
atoned for her past sins.
More alert she shot the lady a questioning glance, not knowing how to
take the polite nod that followed.
"One of the colonies leaders has planned a small party. I was asked to
see if you would attend", Une stated crisply.
"Why were you asked? It doesn't seem fitting someone of your rank."
"Maybe not, but Mr. Winner was adamant that I ask you personally."
Relena felt a chuckle lingering her throat but swallowed it down;
"It's very nice of Quatre to think of me, but no. I've nothing to wear
and besides… I am very behind on my work."
"And sleep", the lady added gently.
Blue eyes narrowed with bordered anger. And hazelnut brown eyes merely
met the disdain with calm resolve.
"I will let Mr. Winner know you not be attending", Une stated turning
to leave.
Relena would have loved to blame her fatigue for what she said next
but knew she couldn't. The lady stopped dead in her tracks, and then
she found the momentum to face the ex-princess.
"What was that?"
The blonde winced. "I know you heard me", she whispered softly. "And I
haven't an excuse for that sort of language."
An eyebrow perked as the lady stepped further into the room. "And you
aren't apologizing either."
Une tucked her shoulder length brown hair behind her left ear. It was
a nervous gesture that caught Relena off guard.
The lady cleared her throat before softly mentioning, "I think we need
to talk."
"I've nothing to say."
"But you do", Une replied swiftly, gently. "You've plenty or was that
little bite all?" She shut her eyes briefly. "How would you see me
punished for the past Ms. Darlain?"
She didn't have an answer, just a dreadful feeling in the pit of her
stomach.
**A silent woman parts her lips
To speak before she ought
She makes a cross of her emotions
And panic of her thoughts**
Relena hated the quiet. It was always a prelude something dark and of
her own doing. Perverted and twisted wants constantly battling her
heart and she was at a loss at how sate them. Because her hate for the
lady was not formed of so simple a thing as her father's
assassination, nor of how his death laid the course to ruin her boring
life as a rebellious teenager. No the lady was everything Relena could
want in an enemy and everything she wanted and convinced herself she
needed in a lover.
And it was true those she loved most dearly, and took to her bed were
either fickle reminders of the innocence she had once been, or cold to
the touch. In her most long-term relationship her lover was bitingly
cruel with an instinct for the type of battles Relena was never
allowed to admit she understood. The type of person the ex-princess
could never hope to hide from, but ultimately just another person who
could not fulfill her need to be cut up and hallowed out like the
porcelain doll she thought herself.
Yes, just a ragged piece of flesh used to site the evils of the world.
An angelic face to inspire soldiers and create wars for peace. Such a
terribly sad doll easily propped up and moved around…And now that she
was older…Now that she was fully in control of everything she said and
did, the strides she made towards ultimate peace felt bizarrely
crushing.
She sat on the corner of her bed still too tired to keep her noble
stance. Une stood patiently a constant reminder of what she never had,
closure, and… redemption. The lady was still paying for her past, but
Relena… Her eyes shut as she fought back her tears. She wished she
wasn't so tired. It would have been easier to hide.
The ex-princess hated Une for everything she could not forgive of
herself. She had committed sins as well. She had done things she
should not have. Things that cost people their lives and never once
had she been asked to atone. No she was billed a hero just as the
pilots were, the generals, and rebels.
Relena looked over at Une and could see the older woman preparing to
speak. She couldn't allow it.
"Don't you see", She began the soft sparks in her tone reaching new
levels of diplomacy and righteousness though she never strived for it.
"Despite what I just said, it is not about how I would have you
punished."
The lady's eyes were wide with momentary shock, but quickly eased back
to soft understanding. "When this conference through Ms. Darlain… I
would like to discuss this matter further."
She could hardly believe her ears. Une was letting her off the hook.
The preventor nodded quickly on her way out of the suite to deliver
the rejected invitation. Leaving Relena with little but the chance to
gather her thoughts. With a deep breath the Vice Foreign Minister
Relena Peacecraft Darlain made way to her desk. She had not been lying
when she mentioned she had work to do. Another listless evening began
as she hunched over paperwork and survived deadening phone calls. Half
way through her tenth call the doorbell rang and a Preventor wheeled
in something from the hotel kitchen. She wanted to understand the
meaning of the gesture as she looked over the tray and the exquisite
meal she had not ordered.
**She looks out of her window
At the changes in the sky
She never wants to leave her sanctuary
Bedroom books and lies**
The secluded conference room looked over the small bay the Grand
Conference was located near. Relena watched, as dusk swept across a
pale blue sky, secretly wishing she could be in a red convertible
racing across the orange rust colored bridge the locals called
'golden'.
It was a small room big enough for exactly six people. She was
currently alone but it wasn't to last. As her tired blue eyes focused
on the beat of the water rolling and tossing in the bay, ships caught
on the choppy waves, the door opened behind her and a few people
filtered in.
"The documents are all prepared and ready Vice Foreign Minister
Darlain", A voice boomed. "Shall we proceed?"
She turned to face the men who had entered the room, glancing briefly
at the eloquently scripted universal treaty sitting on the table. She
smiled grimily and sat down, the others followed suit. Her blue eyes
flitted over the document, siting signatures and approvals from all
the colonies and nations represented at the conference. It was done.
She felt the other's watching her, and obliged to comfort them she
grinned. Taking a pen in her hand to set the treaty in motion
officially, just as she would do publicly in a few hours.
"I'm happy everyone finally agreed", she muttered racing her pen
across the paper and sealing the deal.
Everyone in the room clapped.
She felt…ill.
"Hope you are prepared for this in a few more hours", one of the
plumper dignitaries rang happily.
"I am."
"And will you be accepting the nomination", he asked.
Relena was confused, "What nomination?"
"To be the head of council for the Universal Nations?"
Her stomach flipped. She cleared her throat and scratchily replied,
"No, I will not be accepting."
"Oh." The man sounded oddly disappointed.
The others rumbled their disappointment as they exited the room.
Relena watched them go, sitting in the numbed shock of what had been
said. Swallowed hard and then noticed she was not alone in the room.
Her eyes meet those of the lady with slight shock but then her
expression washed to untouched and she slouched into her seat.
"They don't know do they", the lady asked in her usual polite and
exact tone.
"No they don't."
"When will they know?"
"After the public treaty has been signed and I've completed my task."
"I see."
The lady was seconds from the door but Relena caught her.
"Une… We can…We can talk this evening if you are available."
"Of course. By the way", she called over her shoulder exiting the
room, "Just because you are retiring does not mean you can go
unescorted."
Relena shut her eyes, "I know… I know…"
The conference ended as she expected it to. All applause and
discouragement from the masses as she announced her retirement. Safe
in her suite she refused all calls but one, ignoring the desperate
pleas of those that wanted to see her bound to her role and duties
forever. Tired and weak she wondered why she had agreed to meet with
Une that evening. And then she found the answer and she hated herself
even more.
** Out of her passion breaks the stillness
Of a solitary mind
A strict devotion to the rhythm
With a substitute for time**
Her dark blue eyes watched the flash of the red light on her hotel
phone and her ears twitched at the small beep from her personal phone.
The flash and the beep sight and sound reminders of what she did not
wish to face. Reporters and politicians chomping at the bit to hear
directly from her own lips why she was retiring and Relena knew if she
answered them as they called, her bitter and mocking tone would not be
easily or lightly taken.
She wanted to scoff at the few old men that were her colleagues who
said she was too young to retire. She wanted to be cruel and make
remarks no one thought her capable of. Remind those old men of her age
and the childhood she lost… the childhood she allowed to be ripped
from her.
Relena sank into her chair and moved her focus to the night sky and
the barely visible stars. Her mind refused to be still, filling her
with too many things that begged for attention. A primary thought
being Une and another being someone she missed only when she was
acting too reflective…Dorothy Catalonia. The ex-princess tried to
imagine what Dorothy would say if the blonde goddess were actually
still on speaking terms with her. Her jaw clenched.
Of all the things she'd ever destroyed it was her affair with Dorothy
she regretted the most. Relena would never say it was love, even
though that was what she cried when Dorothy left. It was never love;
it was always just a dark side of lust. A self imposed punishment that
turned on her, because what began as Dorothy putting Relena in her
place became Relena torturing the goddess with the weight of her soul.
She missed the fights that they had the conflict that wound from the
political arena into the bedroom. All the things Relena could never
say were present in Dorothy's very being. It was gone though. She
broke it drowning in her need for something darker, always something
darker. And there was a rhythm to that darkness, an echo that pointed
in one direction. Even if that direction was no longer blacker than
pitch but growing into colors like the dawn.
From behind she heard the door click open and she did not turn to see
who it was. She already knew.
"Are you happier now", the voice of a lady wrapped up Relena's spine,
making beautiful her more base and hated emotions.
Relena didn't move but she sighed as she answered, "Wait a few days
I'll let you know."
"Perhaps we should not talk tonight."
"No time like the present to wipe away the bad blood", her breath felt
uneven.
"I never expect you to forgive me."
"I know and now I won't be a politician so there isn't a reason for me
to pretend to be civil to you."
Relena could feel Une moving closer, and so the ex-princess stood up
and stepped away to the cool of the window. Her nervous breathing
fogging the glass, stretching the colors of the lights outside.
"Do you know what you did when you followed your orders to kill my
father", Relena stated just when she was sure Une was close enough too
touch. Just when she was sure she could step back and into the lady's
arms. "You unleashed the monster that is Relena Peacecraft Darlain."
"Are you a monster? I thought you were a great leader, the world
thinks-"
"The world is blind!" She turned quickly. Eye to eye with the woman
she had once wanted to kill, ruin and make suffer. "The world does not
see anything I am."
"No you are right. The world knows nothing about you", Une replied
back softly. "Would you really want the world to know who Relena
Darlain really is? They'd crucify you if they knew." A cold
realization rested on Une's shoulders, hazelnut colored eyes wide with
shock, voice still lost in an eerie calm, "But you always wanted that
didn't you?"
"Perceptive." Her tone bit. Blue eyes avoiding the penetrating glare
from the lady.
"And so being responsible for unleashing you upon the world should I
be the one to recapture you?"
"What would be the point? I'm finished. I've bowed out and I'm done."
Relena wasn't sure what was going to happen. Things were far too raw
between her and the lady. The air was heavy around her, darker sides
tugging at her as she continued to avoid the lady's eyes. If she
looked again into those brown eyes she was afraid of what she would
fall into. Consequences playing in her mind but never taking hold. All
she knew, all she could feel was the weight of the air and what was
her vile want, a pulse of expectation.
**Help me
Help me
Help me
Breathe**
There was a pull in the air that was rather indescribable, one of
hate, one of heat, something of want, of lust building within Relena's
chest. It suffocated her reason, and killed her chances to hide.
Vulnerable beneath the lady's glare the ex-princess wondered if Une
knew exactly what she was trying to deny.
"Maybe you should sleep", the lady finally said. "You look tired."
It was Une's reserved calm that goaded Relena the most. She assumed it
was a skill built from years in the military, but then…perhaps it was
experience that kept the lady from revealing all her intentions.
"I've been tired for years… But I'm not sure I can ever rest."
"Still waiting for something", Une asked. "Something you can't let go
of but aren't sure you want to taste?"
She shook her head, blue eyes slowly rising to greet Une's. "No, I
know what I want."
"Then what stops you from taking it?"
"Maybe it wouldn't be right."
"Maybe… maybe you're relying too much on opinions that do not exist at
the moment?"
Looking into the lady's eyes there was a spark she had only ever felt
once in her life. It was one of those telling moments when it was
clear someone knew her…everything about her and didn't care. Saw the
darkness, the rage, the hurt little girl who never got her revenge,
who was never punished for her petty sins, and the destruction she had
hoped to bury. She wanted to know how it was possible and why…Why it
was always the ones that started as enemies that held the power to do
so.
The air around them was stale and stagnant; the kind of silence Relena
hated taking over to prove a point. After what felt like too long
being read and dissected the ex-princess took a step forward and the
lady met her. Her uncertain mind lost hold and emotion took control.
Heavy with a heart undone by the devastating beat of war Relena found
the lady's lips willing to accept her advances. Willing to return what
she could and the diplomat wasn't sure there was a word for it.
They stood there near the window fogged over with cold condensation,
lost in the dark, still in a rhythm their tongues had decided. Every
second more intensely bruising until at last the lady broke the kiss,
her arms wound tightly about Relena's waist.
"I can't promise to destroy you with my lips Relena. I can't promise
to punish you thus", Une whispered almost hoarsely. "Even if you're
punishing me as well."
"I don't need your promise lady… all I need is a night… a week…"
"A night", the lady replied as her lips made way to crash upon those
below her. "Just a night."
**Though the truth is less unclear now
They have won a thousand battles
They have wrung their own demise**
The bedroom walls echoed their passion as they fell to the bed. With
each touch and caress a new torment was revealed And it was the young
woman who had been a princess, a queen, a diplomat and who still was a
lonely child that cried the most. Tears falling from her eyes because
the lady was so brutally gentle, so unsparingly kind the way she
kissed, the way she took but did not rob. Tears falling because she
knew her own lips punished, and ripped, but her revenge, the hurt she
caused was forgiven again and again.
Finally quiet in each other's arms Relena could reflect on what she
had done. She should have been happy. She finally had what she wanted.
She was free from her duty, she had claimed her revenge, and her heart
was a slow dying ember. The lightest weight would destroy her. But the
warmth felt in the softness of the lady's touch squashed any happiness
that was derived from receiving her wishes.
Her eyes shut tight as Une held her closer. The whisper of the lady's
breath upon her neck lulling her to sleep and the fear that one night
would be just that.
**Generations like the water
Shape the face of every stone
A pedigree’s an invitation
To discover you’re alone**
Relena kept herself from crying when she woke alone. Packed her things
quickly and made a few phone calls as she waited for the bellhops and
her escorts to gather her things and secure the area for her
departure. She released a prepared statement to the press regarding
her retirement as well. It would not quiet any rumors, or defeat the
continuing questions but it would at least calm the waters of the
paparazzi for a moment or two.
A call came up stating that her car was ready. She sniffed hiding her
eyes from the world behind a pair of sunglasses with green lenses.
Picked up her briefcase and followed her escort to the parking garage.
Concrete and cold she waited patiently as her car pulled around,
looking over the marked parking spaces with some amusement. She was
standing between D11 and 1H it was an curious way to mark spots and
she shook her head as she realized she was focusing on the frivolous
to avoid what she felt inside. And inside she was an emotional
maelstrom.
Her escort held the door to her car open and she blindly fell in. When
she was finally home she considered trading her limo for something a
little sporty, maybe a nice little red convertible. The car began to
move and she was too busy watching the buildings roll past to
acknowledge her new escort. Hardly startled when she brought her
attention around and met with hazelnut brown eyes.
"You said one night"; Relena whispered removing her sunglasses.
"I did."
"Then why-"
"Because you still need an escort." The lady replied and then added,
"Besides I've been known to change my mind."
"Concerning?"
"Princesses who became monsters."
"Ah."
"And the revenge they never received for shooting roses off the lapels
of graceless ladies."
Blue eyes shut and she slouched into her seat. She wanted to grin but
found it hard to do as the lady slid closer to her. Relena fell a
sleep safe in the embrace of what she loved…the very heart of discord.
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