A Midsummer Night's Thoughts
Yay, another SoixYui fic! ^o^ This is just a random little piece I
came up with one day-it isn't necessarily romance, just...hinted stuff.
^_^ Hopefully I kept Soi and Yui mostly in-character...I still haven't
seen any of the episodes with Soi in them, and I only have up to volume 5
of the manga. Any information I got, I got from websites. ^^;;
~
I can't sleep. Nakago-sama is in another one of his moods, so I'm alone
tonight. Honestly, I love that man, but I'm getting a bit tired of his
mood swings. But he wouldn't be Nakago-sama without them, I guess.
I get up out of my bed, deciding to go for a walk. Quietly, I throw a robe
on and slip out of my room. Fortunately, everyone's dead to the world.
As I walk through the halls, thoughts of Nakago-sama continue to occupy
me.
God, I love him. I've loved him ever since he saved me from being
raped...I shudder as I remember that day.
My family was very poor, so they sold me to a brothel when I was twelve.
For some reason I don't hate them as much as I should...anyway, I refused
to serve my customer, so the guy started beating me. Nakago-sama showed
up, fixed the bastard, and...the rest is history, I guess.
I've been his lover for a few years now. I still love him with all my
heart, and I'd give my life for him.
But lately, he's been giving me the cold shoulder so much. I suppose I
could blame the new girl who arrived a while ago.
Yui Hongo. Seiryuu no Miko.
I hate that girl.
...No, hate is a strong word.
I resent her. I resent her showing up out of nowhere and Nakago-sama
immediately turning all his attention to her. He'll still have sex with
me, but I know it's only to raise his chi levels.
I've known for a while now. But I don't care.
I do it anyway. Because I love him.
Does he love me?
He told Yui he loved her.
I still remember that night. Hearing him say those words...kissing her...
if he wasn't so hell-bent on her summoning Seiryuu he probably would've
taken her right then and there. Damn it!
My hands clench into fists as I stop and lean against a wall for a second.
Calm down, Soi, I tell myself, remembering why I was wandering the halls
at this hour anyway.
It isn't working. I don't feel any more tired than I did when I got up.
As I resume my walk, my thoughts drift to Yui.
I resent her. There's no denying it.
But maybe she isn't as bad as I think she is. After all, who knows how she
really feels about Nakago-sama?
Or anyone, for that matter. She never talks to anyone that much...Suboshi
and Nakago-sama are the only ones who spend much time with her. I can't
ever recall seeing her smile...she always seems angry, or just troubled
about something.
Why did she come here anyway?
I resent her. But I can't help being...almost intrigued by her.
I stop walking when I realize I'm approaching her bedroom.
That's when I notice something strange.
The door is wide open.
'Why would she leave it like that?' I wonder. Given her secretive nature
that seems like the last thing she'd do.
What could she be hiding, if she is hiding anything? Was she always this
solemn, or did something happen to make her that way?
Without thinking, I find myself walking into her room.
She lies on her side, slightly curled under her blankets. I walk over to
her bed and study the expression on her face. It's not too different from
her everyday expression, of course. Her breathing is steady and quiet...
one hand grips the edge of the blanket to her...her short blonde hair is a
bit mussed, a few wisps falling across her cheek. I reach out to smooth
back those wisps...
'What am I doing?!'
It hits me then how ridiculous this scenario is. I'm standing in the
bedroom of a girl I hardly ever talk to and I'm obsessing over her hair!
Well, maybe not obsessing, but...
I have to admit, though. She's very pretty.
As I continue to gaze at her sleeping form, she suddenly begins to stir. I
panic-has she somehow figured out I'm here?! I begin to back away from the
bed, praying I can get out before she notices me...
But she doesn't wake up. She only mumbles something and curls up tighter.
Yeah. She really is beautiful...while I see her on a day-to-day basis, I
never really noticed her until now.
Again, I reach out to brush away the wisps of hair in her face. This time,
I don't hesitate...her hair feels so soft, almost like silk against my
fingers. At that moment, I notice her shivering...is it that cold in here?
Then again, that skimpy shirt she wears can't be too warm.
Without thinking, I reach down, pulling the covers around her shoulders a
little. If she IS cold, I can't let her freeze to death.
As I back away from her bed, she pulls the covers tighter around her,
mumbling slightly.
I wonder what she's dreaming about...her home? Her family? Possibly the
one she loves?
The one she loves...I find myself feeling a bit angry again. She loves
Nakago-sama, doesn't she?
Wait...wasn't there another person she mentioned? Yeah, one of the Suzaku
seishi. I can't remember his name, the one that's involved with Suzaku no
Miko...yes, I'm pretty sure I remember her saying she wants him.
So maybe she isn't a threat? Still, the way Nakago-sama dotes on her, I
can't help being more than a little suspicious.
And Tamahome? If he's with Suzaku no Miko, why does Yui pine away for him?
That's just stupid and pointless...doesn't she realize that if a guy's in
love with another person, he'll never be hers? That no matter how much she
cries over him, it won't make him blow off the person he loves? Why does
she insist on putting herself through all that pain?
No one deserves that...even if she's a rival for Nakago-sama's affections,
she deserves so much better.
I don't know how she came here or why she became Seiryuu no Miko...but
sometimes I wonder if she's truly happy with the decisions she's made.
Considering she never smiles, I doubt she is.
But it's only human nature. We'll gladly make ourselves miserable in the
name of love. And Yui is no exception.
Because when you really look at it, we are only human...Yui, Nakago-sama,
myself, Suboshi, Tomo, the Suzaku seishi, even the emperor of Kutou.
No one is immune to stupidity, misery, or mistakes.
I continue to stand there, just looking at her as she sleeps. And for some
strange reason, I feel a bit of my resentment for her melting away.
Maybe...just maybe, I can learn to like this girl a little more. Maybe we
can even have some kind of a relationship other than glaring at each other
occasionally.
Lord knows SOMEONE needs to look out for that girl, and be able to do it
without making a pass at her!
With that in mind, I realize I can't go back to my bedroom now.
I smile a little, pulling another blanket over Yui, then kneel at the foot
of her bed, folding my arms against the covers and resting my head against
them. Surely she won't mind me staying here for the night.
My eyelids are growing heavy; I cast one last glance at my miko before I
let sleep take over.
She really is beautiful...Lord knows if I'll ever be able to figure her
out, but...sometimes an element of mystery can be a good thing.
~
I wake up the next morning to the sounds of the rain. As my eyes flutter
open, I find myself looking into a pair of soft blue eyes.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
I smile a little.
"Yui-sama...you didn't mind my randomly being here all night?"
"Well, I'm a bit curious as to WHY you spent the night at the foot of my
bed, but...I'll admit, it was...comforting, to have you there," she says.
"It was?"
"Yeah..."
Then, for the first time in all the time I've known her...she smiles.
Really smiles.
And suddenly, I feel warm inside. For all her attitude towards the world
in general, there's something so...gentle about her smile. She looks even
more beautiful than I thought she did last night.
"Yui-sama?"
"Yeah?"
"You should smile more often. It suits you," I tell her.
She moves a little closer, until her head is resting on my shoulder a
little.
"Now that I have a reason to, I think I will," she says softly.
"A reason...?" I blink. She says nothing, only closes her eyes a little as
she leans against me. I decide not to question her, and just enjoy the
feeling of having her so close. I slip my arm around her, and neither of
us say another word.
This feels so strange, though...is it possible for feelings to change in
the course of one night? I've gone from resenting her to...enjoying her
company. IS that humanly possible? And Yui...just yesterday she was
untrusting and cold as usual, but this morning...
Could her feelings have changed overnight also?
IS that possible?
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
But Nakago-sama or no Nakago-sama...we are the only two women among the
Seiryuu army. Hopefully, we'll learn to trust in each other more...
Because after all...we are only human. We fight for survival, we make
mistakes, we get hurt, we fall in love, we learn lessons.
And sometimes, we find comfort in people or places we never thought we
would.
But is that such a bad thing, after all?
~End~
Yay! ^o^ It's been awhile since I finished a yuri fic. This
started out as "Soi muses on herself, Nakago, and then finds herself
thinking about Yui"...it did maintain that idea, but it seemed to evolve
slightly into something more along the way.
I know it may seem odd for Soi to feel less resentful overnight,
and for Yui to suddenly feel okay with her being there when she initially
doesn't trust ANYONE for a while, so that's why I not only left it mostly
ambiguous, but also had Soi questioning it near the end. I hope I handled
it plausibly enough.
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