Forgive

a Fushigi Yuugi fanfiction by Sara Jaye

    This is the counterpart to "Until Then". It's basically Yui 
thinking about Miaka and the real reason she's angry at her. ^_^; I 
apologize in advance if Yui's kind of OOC...I know it might seem a bit 
early for her to say she can forgive Miaka, but like I said in the 
author's notes for "Until Then", I think she really did want to 
forgive Miaka, she was just being stubborn. ^_^;

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You don't understand.

Not surprising, though. You were always pretty slow on the uptake, 
Miaka.

Yes, I am angry with you. Yes, I did want to hurt you.

But you've got it completely wrong.

You think I hate you because you have what I want. Because of 
Tamahome.

You couldn't be more wrong.

I won't lie. I did try to steal Tamahome away from you. I DID have 
feelings for him.

But that's not why I'm angry.

Yes, I DID have feelings for Tamahome. But I'm not angry because he 
chose you over me.

YOU chose HIM.

Your words are still vivid in my memory. "I wanted to see you! That's 
why I came back!".

You came back for some guy you've known, what, six months? What about 
me?!

I don't hate you because of your good luck. This isn't about who has 
it best and who has it worst. It's about the fact that you weren't 
there when I needed you most! Instead, some stranger carried me off 
and expects me to carry out his every whim just because he 'saved' me.

He said he loved me. At first, I believed in him, every word he said. 
But now...

I don't know.

I'm angry because I feel like you abandoned me. But I want to forgive 
you.

I'm so confused.

And after reading your letter, I can't stop crying. Miaka, I miss you! 
I hate myself for the way I've been treating you! Every time Nakago or 
Suboshi or someone tries to hurt you 'for me', it's like a knife 
twisting into my heart. I don't want them to hurt you anymore! I'm 
tired of this!

But I'm also a stubborn bitch. So I won't let myself admit this. 
Instead, I continue to betray you and let my Seishi hurt you.

How can you still want to be my best friend after all this? How can 
you say you forgive me?

How can you love me?

Miaka...I'm so sorry. If only I could go back in time and never let 
this happen, I would...

But I can't.

I'm still going to summon Seiryuu. But when I do, I'll use my wishes 
to help you summon Suzaku and get back home safely. And I don't care 
what Nakago says about it.

I'm still angry, Miaka. But I love you, and I can forgive you.

I only hope you can truly forgive me.

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    W00t! Second done in a row! I'm on a roll! XD Again, I apologize 
if Yui was kinda OOC or if this story was overly angsty...I always 
worry a little about writing angst, I don't wanna turn a character 
into an angst whore by accident. ^^;; Ah, well. ^_^

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