Teaching Respect (part 1 of 4)

"Hey Fu, wakey wakey in dere! Fu, you in ‘dere? Fu?! Ah, come on - it’s time, open up!! Fu! FUU!!"

Rattled by his incessant bellowing, she glanced over at where the door was bulging in its frame. If the fool kept up with such meaty blows, he’d knock down if he wasn’t careful – which frankly he never was. She couldn’t open up yet though. She needed… just a few more minutes. Yes, a few more minutes would do it.

"You up, Fu? Fu! Are you even in dere? FU!! We’re gonna be late, Fu!!"

She did her best to shut it all out, but the thumping was so insistent; you couldn’t turn it off. Exasperated, she looked over to the door, intending to issue a stern rebuke. But the words died in her throat… With each new pound, the door was squirming and distending. It was like in some sort of cartoon strip, bulging, pulsing and beating obscenely…

A sudden wave of nausea washed over her; she staggered dizzily against the wardrobe, vaguely registering the tinkling of falling objects within. Take control… Swallowing hard to regain her composure, she pushed up from where she was leaning, wincing uncomfortably at the continued pounding from the door. ‘Just… go away!’ she thought angrily. ‘Go away or…’ She needed to calm down, busy herself with something. Take control… calm down and take control… you can do it… you can do it…

Opened the wardrobe, she peered in to inspect what if any damage had been done. However, her attention was immediately arrested by the mirror hanging on the inside of the door. There she was, staring blankly back… A fresh thrill of dread shot through her; her silvery hair felt like it was standing on end.

Before all that happened, she’d always taken… not pride in her appearance, but certainly care. She’d had the routine down to a fine art - everything in its place, as perfect as she could make it.

"Aw, you cannot still be sleeping, ya know? Fu!! Don’t make me start the day like this. I don’t wanna break the door down!"

It had always been so important to her… Rigid and stern demeanour; clothes authoritarian and slightly threatening - a look that dared people to say something, try something… She’d woken up every day, eager to meet that girl; to stand in awe of her like everyone else. That girl had had her life together; she’d known exactly who she was. And the girl had always looked out for her, kept her safe from everyone.

"Where are you?" she pleaded softly, tracing a finger sadly across the glass image. The mirror girl didn’t respond, just stared deadly through her with its good eye. The other eye, milky and lifeless in the socket, seemed to bore into her, infecting her. In its horrid pale depths, she saw the monstrosity she felt inside of her laid bare. It was disgusting, it was inescapable… it was who she was.

CRACK!!

Jolted back to her senses, Fujin wrenched open the other cupboard door and hurriedly retrieved her eye patch from a shelf. Turning her back on the newcomer, she quickly slipped it over her head, and rearranged it with a cursory glance in the mirror. The girl still wasn’t home, so she’d have to put on the show by herself again.

"IDIOT."

She looked towards the door, which now lay splintered on the floor, in a fine layer of dust. With a look of pity and contempt, she walked over to inspect the damage. Irritated, she snapped a sharp look at him. He shrugged helplessly:

"Well, ya weren’t answering, ya know? We were gonna be late and…and…"

‘Here it comes,’ she thought: ‘A truly stupid idea, which will somehow translate into a plausible suggestion in his thick head.’

Even now she had to marvel at his unique logic. He’d just smashed her door off its hinges, yet he was waiting outside because he hadn’t been invited in… She folded her arms, pretending to be waiting with bated breath. Truth be told however, her heart was pounding in her ears, and she felt more than a little faint. She dug her fingers into her elbows, trying to just get through this conversation.

Mercifully, she didn’t have to wait long before the familiar gleam appeared in his eyes. The gleam that told that a suitably improbable excuse had now been formulated...

"And… I was worried something might've happened to ya. Not responding, ya know – got worried, see? So… so I… ya know…?"

He gestured at the door with what she was sure was genuine pride, so convinced he undoubtedly now was, at the truthfulness of his ridiculous, spur of moment story.

"IN SCHOOL?"

He looked puzzled briefly, but in his usual manner of not wanting to seem like he hadn’t understood, adopted a look like he was really considering what she had said carefully, and with respect.

She sighed heavily. She was disgusted with his oafishness of course, but at the same time, it was familiar and comforting. It made her feel less nervous, safer. But just as she was allowing this soothing thought to massage her nerves, she noticed that several gawpers had also gathered to watch the scene. She could feel the fear returning.

"LEAVE!"

"Oh right, well I’m sorry Fu, but…"

Seeing the onlookers off with the fiercest glare she could manage, his words finally sunk in as she saw his retreating figure following them, shoulders slumped and head hanging. She would probably find it hard to believe that anyone could be as simple as him, were it not for his daily reminders.

"NOT YOU!"

Raijin turned back, a broad smile on his face. He stomped into the room, hugged her in one huge arm (which she pointedly did not return), and threw himself down into a chair near the door. Producing a screwdriver from somewhere, he hummed happily to himself, as he searched through the debris for one of the hinges.

Swallowing hard, she fought her panic down frantically. She had to get him out of here now! But she couldn’t let on that she was freaking out like this… she’d always worked so hard to be strong around the guys. And come on – it was only Raijin after all! He was her best friend… her only friend really…

But she wasn’t ready! By now, she was of course used to his acts of random, well-meaning but still irksome physicality, but she was usually better prepared… She wasn’t ready for people today yet, not even if it was only someone essentially harmless like Raijin. She turned back to her wardrobe quickly, trying to look busy.

"Glad that’s all cleared up then…” Raijin commented cheerfully. “Good of you to see it like this, Fu. I mean, I was only trying to help after all, so you inviting me in…"

"DIDN’T," she reminded him, searching with quiet desperation for aid in the mirror, but to no avail.

"Oh… well… I thought because you’d forgiven me, you…"

"DIDN’T!!" she shouted with exasperation, turning about to face him, her belt suddenly in her hand, knuckles whitening in fury.

Blinking hard, she pulled on the belt’s ends, working out the stress. Conscious of the need to calm down and disarm herself, she swiftly threaded the belt around her waist. Breathing a soft sigh of relief, she looked up.

Raijin however, hadn’t noticed a thing, it seemed. A blank look on his face, he seemed deeply confused, looking at the door, making slight hugging gestures, apparently trying to work out where he had misunderstood matters. The experience had all gotten a bit much for him, it seemed…

Fujin smiled with relief, pleased for once with his ignorance. She still needed to get rid of him though - quickly. Forcing down her anxieties, she walked up to him, trying to adopt a friendly posture – such didn’t come naturally to her. After a twitchy start, she managed a small smile.

"LATE. GO ON.”

Instantly pacified, he returned the grin and leapt to his feet. She shot him a sharp look causing him to think better of an attempt to hug her again, instead bounding out the door, apparently without a care in the world. If only it was that easy for her, she mused miserably.

Dropping her guard momentarily, she threw her arms back up to cross in front of her as he suddenly leaned back in round the door frame. He opened his mouth to say something, but in an uncharacteristically smart move, decided better of it – perhaps sensing the tangible rage emanating from her body. He settled for placing the broken hinge of her door gently down on a nearby chair and with a look of apology, retreated once more.

Checking he really was gone this time, she breathed a huge sigh of relief. Walking back over to the wardrobe, she steadied herself it, feeling her heart-rate slowly return to normal. Reaching up, she pulled her hands down over her face, trying to push the last of her anxiety out. She’d passed the day’s first test… just.

Even though it had only been Raijin, it had still been hard. And those people in the corridor before… she could just imagine what they thought; what they were saying to each other right now about the psycho new teacher…

Angrily she tried to shake her head clear, tightening her belt further, until she could feel it constricting just a little too tightly. It was to be expected – somehow she had to find the strength to deal with it. It was time to go after all - time to once again face the world she had almost helped to destroy.

Absently, she reached out a hand and touched the mirror, without looking at it: "I need you back - I don’t know if I can do this by myself…" she pleaded softly.

But that was just wishful thinking – no-one could help her or would even want to. Not her reflection, notRaijin, not even… well, why should she care? Fujin certainly didn’t blame her – she had no right whatsoever to expect her to care now. it was pointless even thinking about it…

With that, she set her face, straightened up and marched smartly out of the room, clicking her fingers at a passing girl and indicating the broken door.

"FIX."

The girl nodded, and bent down to get a look. Fujin stepped away quickly in case she brushed against her. She was struck with an overwhelming urge to add the word ‘please’. No, that wasn’t something the old Fujin would have said - people would talk. They’d know she was weak; they’d laugh at her and point, they’d eat her alive.

"HURRY!"

And without waiting for a reaction, she snapped about and hurried away, heart pounding in her chest.