Whisper Gently Rinoa lay in bed puzzled, she couldn’t sleep. She looked at the clock, 12:34 it read. With a sigh she closed her eyes, she had class tomorrow. Even though she was made an honorary SEED, she insisted on taking the classes to prove to herself and the others that she was worthy of the title. She opened her eyes and once again looked at the clock, 12:35. She moaned and rolled over to look at Squall who slept soundly next to her. Not a care in the world she thought, as she studied his features. She recalled her earlier encounter with Fujin. "What the heck was she doing at Quistis’s?" She wondered. She did not trust the woman in the least, she had a aura about her Rinoa did not like. She was worried about Quistis, she knew her friend was lonely and heartbroken. Over the past few months she had gotten worse and worse, she tried to set her up on dates with several young men she had known. Quistis never said much about the blind dates but not a one got a second chance. Rinoa sighed and rolled over, Squall lay beside her, fast asleep his face serene. "What can I do?" She thought. Rinoa had seen this sort of depression before and feared it. She feared her friend would drift farther and farther away until gave up hope, she feared something horrible would happen. She dared not think it for fear it would give it power. She prayed silently that she was wrong. She had no idea was how right she really was. ****************** Quistis flinched at the hand on her shoulder, her sobs had givin way to gentle trembling. Fujin was unsure what to do, she looked in quite sympathy and waited. Quistis sat silently on her knees, her blonde tresses draped over her face as she looked down in ruin and despair. "I’m sorry" Quistis whispered weakly. "I just wanted to thank you for your kindness." "I KNOW." Fujin said as softly as she can manage. Her voice took on a rich sultry tone when she tried to whisper. Quistis looked up her crystalline eyes glimmered with worried. "MY FAULT." Fujin whispered again, as she carefully knelt to one knee. Quistis’s looked down ashamed. Her arms hung limp and she looked far older than her years. She felt horrible about all this. Fujin sat companionably her eye watching her with a worried expression. "Well once again you get to see me fall apart." Quistis muttered dryly. "USED TO IT." Fujin responded flatly, Quistis looked up with a start, obviously wounded by her bluntness. Fujin surprised her with a gentle smile causing her to stare in stunned silence. Her cheeks still moist from tears glimmered faintly in the dim light. Fujin’s smile faded to a more somber expression. Then without a word she reached out with a tentative hand. Quistis sat still, watching her, not knowing what to expect. She closed her eyes in worry, she could feel more tears waiting to come forth. With an awkward gentleness she was unaccustomed to Fujin touched her cheek. With delicate fingertips she traced the tears down her face. "IT’S OKAY." She said simply, but now her voice was much quieter. She let her hand linger a moment and was surprised when Quistis unconsciously pressed her cheek into her palm. With a soft sigh Quistis’s expression softened considerably. Fujin slowly pulled her hand back as Quistis opened her eyes as is if waking from a dream. Her gaze smoldered darkly as their eyes meet. Fujin was frightened at the dull ache that rose in her chest and gasped softly. With a start she abruptly looked away and stood uneasily. Quistis jerked in surprise and looked away also. She blinked several times to clear her head as her heart pounded in her chest. Fujin briskly walked back to the table and picked up the spilled champagne bottle. Only a few drops remained and she set it back on the table. Quistis meanwhile sat very still for a long a moment then stood. "Um I suppose we better eat before it gets cold." She said with unnerving calmness as she brushed her hair from her face. "CHAMPAGNE." Fujin said nodding to the bottle and trying to hide how flushed she was. "Yeah..I am sorry. The bubbles fly up your nose if you gulp it." Quistis said sheepishly and smiled. "NOT WHAT I MEAN." Fujin frowned and pointed at the bottle "I APOLOGIZE." "It’s not your fault Fu..." Quistis winced again at the use of the pet name she seemed intent on giving her. Fujin waved her fear aside, she was used to hearing it now. Quistis composed herself and went to kitchen to retrieve a bottle of simple but classy wine. She quietly sat back down at the table. Her eyes still burned from the tears but she was feeling a little better. She smiled hauntingly as Fujin joined her then poured them both a new glass. Luckily their plates where undisturbed and the food still warm. Without a word between them the two started to eat, Quistis stole a glance to her dinner companion trying to read her expression. Like always Fujin was stone faced, the distress that she showed earlier was no where to be found. "Perhaps she was tricking me?" Quistis wondered as she sorted the thoughts spinning through her mind. "No." She told herself Fujin was never one to play games, she was always straight forward. Besides she had nothing to gain by all this. "I should worry more about myself, two breakdowns in as many days has to be a record." She’d always prided herself on her steadfast resolve, but she was alarmed how easy she could be hurt now. She thought back to nearly two years ago when she was still in full control of her life. Then piece by piece the world was pulled from under her. She was dismissed as an instructor and then Squall all but turned his back to her when she wanted someone to confide in. She had always held a special place for him. Being patient and understanding through all of his antisocial mood swings. Even when she tried to tell Squall how she felt about him he simply walked away and it crushed her. Later, once things with Edea where coming to a head. Squall put her in charge of half the squad, where she nearly cost Zell and Selphie their life. Of they everyone forgave her and never told the others. She however never forgave herself. Then she was sent to sabotage a Galbanian missile plant. It was all but a suicide mission, only by Hyne’s grace did anyone survive the mess. She sometimes wondered, deep down past rational thought if he did it on purpose. She watched in silence as Rinoa swept Squall’s heart away. Hell even helped Rinoa sway him. Finally once everything was over, she tried to go back to the way it was. They even reinstated her as a instructor, but it wasn’t the same. She felt all but useless and out of place and in the way. The few dates she tried to go on where futile as she and the others where to famous to lead normal lives. The others found love and strength in each other while she was left in the cold, frozen and alone. She never realized how much so until the anniversary party last night, it was the first time they all got together in forever. During dinner everyone gossiped about how they spent the past year doing this and that. Selphie and Irvine spent the time aiding the rebuilding of Trabia. Zell and Nicole’s love affair was legendary and they traveled the land getting into all sorts of mayhem. Squall and Rinoa even ventured back to Eshtar. Even Cid and Edea had a tale to tell. Only Quistis was silent, burned out and washed up Quistis. She had no stories to tell, had no purpose, had no love, and had no hope. She remembered no one even noticed she’d left when she walked away from the table. She had come to realize that for all her life she was always the one taking care of others. Even at the orphanage it was her and Ellone who the other kids came to when trouble started. Then years later at Balamb Garden she became a SEED, and a teacher Again she took care of others. She was the one people came to with problems. All the while she herself had no one to confide in, no one to turn to and the one time she did, she was hurt. Now in her time of need no one came to her rescue. The proverbial last stone was pulled from under her, she fell hard and no one was there to catch her. "Except Fujin." She thought with a such start she dropped her fork. It fell with a audible ding onto her plate earning her only a curious glance from her companion. Quistis felt a warm glow in her chest very similar to the one she felt when Fujin touched her cheek. Such a small gesture had moved her deeply she was unsure of what to do now. She no longer feared that Fujin meant her any harm she settled comfortably in her seat. Fujin arched a brow as Quistis fumbled her fork onto her plate. She chose to ignore it and delicately sliced into her salmon fillet. She nibbled almost daintily savoring the new taste. It was truly delicious. She scolded herself for not learning to cook anything but military rations and the odd soup or dried noodles. The cafeteria food was fine enough to be sure, some of it was even really good but then again some of it was atrocious. "Your avoiding what happened." Her subconscious chided her. "Nonsense" she tried to convince herself as she sipped her wine. "Then why are you going on about something so trifling as a dead fish. You felt something earlier just like you know she did. Now you need to figure out what." Fujin soured and looked at Quistis who was completely lost in thought. "FISH." She suddenly blurted with a absurd awkwardness. "Pardon?" Quistis replied with a tilt of her head that was all together adorable. "Way to go, that was beautifully said." Fujin chided herself sarcastically, causing her to tongue her cheek in annoyance. She composed her thoughts and tried again. "DELICIOUS." "Your avoiding the real subject here." Fujin’s subconscious sang to her. "Why thank you." Quistis smiled a warm rich smile that Fujin found oddly comforting. Both of them slowly relaxed, and let the soft music wash away the awkward silence that took over rest of their dinner. Their minds lost in tangled thoughts of the past and the possible future. After they finished eating Quistis quietly gathered the dishes and stuck them in the kitchen. Fujin stood and stretched then rubbed her shoulder, she moaned softly at the dull ache in her muscles. She wondered what time it was, all she knew was that is was late. All things considered she was glad she came in. She was seeing Quistis in all together different light now. "What now?" Fujin wondered to herself, she had never expected anyone to try to befriend her, much less a former enemy. She let herself smile inwardly at the thought. Things where different, to be sure but not all to together unpleasant. She knew now Quistis was reaching out from loneliness. Fujin wondered how she herself felt about that. She decidedly had no answer so she chose to wait and see. Soft hands gently gripped her shoulders causing her to snap back to reality. With a start she turned around. Quistis took a step back startled and offered a calming smile. "You seemed tense I was only trying to help." She explained said with a oddly smooth tone. "I’M FINE." Fujin said eyeing her warily. She was unaccustomed to being touched in such a manner and it startled her. "Nonsense, you’ve had a bad day Fuu. I heard about you fight in the gym. Let me help?" Quistis said softly as she reached out to touch the angry bruise along Fujin’s jaw. Fujin flinched in surprise at the move. She was all together frightened now. Fights she could handle but this, this was something she was not used to. No one ever touched her outside of the odd hug from Raijin or rarer still Seifer. She took a breath and stared. "INTOXICATED?" She blurted. "Hardly." Quistis said laughingly. "Now shut up and sit down." She ordered with mock sincerity. "That’s more like the Quistis Trepe you know." Fujin thought. "WHAT!?" She balked in shock as Quistis took her by the shoulders and plopped her onto the couch. Fujin has half a mind to run but squelched the idea for being foolish. She instead sat in befuddled silence as Quistis squeezed in behind her. "Shush, just sit back and relax." Quistis said with a velvety whisper as she pulled her back against her chest. Fujin’s eye went wide when the woman’s hands then slipped delicately along her shoulders. Pressing and kneading gently, Quistis took care to be as thorough as possible. She couldn’t help but admire the coiled strength she felt in the woman. Even through years of hard training to make herself strong, she retained a softness that was wholly feminine. Fujin tensed beneath her touch she had never had anyone would fuss over her like this. It wasn’t to bad a sensation she had to admit. However she felt completely at uneasy, not the exact sensation Quistis was looking for, she knew but she could not help it. Although she could feel her defenses being softly rubbed away. Quistis smiled a almost impish smile as she felt Fujin loosen up beneath her fingertips. She moved down her back with firm but gentle purpose working evenly. Fujin felt a calming wave flow through her, causing her to shiver deliciously. She allowed herself succumb to it and closed her eyes. She was keenly aware of Quistis pressed softly against her. The nearness of another body to her in such intimate manner made her tingle in ways she had never known. She let herself lean back more and relished her warmth, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Quistis smiled darkly at this and quietly continued, and was pleasantly surprised when Fujin let her head fall back to rest against her shoulder. After a peacefully long while the music finally played out and all was silent. Quistis then noticed the sound of soft, rhythmic breathing. She glanced to Fujin nestled against next neck was sleeping soundly. She smiled warmly, but dreaded to move for fear of waking her. She reached up and stroked the woman’s hair softly causing her to murmur cutely in her sleep. Quistis laid her head back and sighed. "Odd circumstances" Quistis thought, still absently stroking Fujin’s hair. She glanced at the clock and frowned. 4:30 in the morning. "I have to teach class in six hours." She told herself with dread. She looked back at Fujin how different she looked, Her face was soft and peaceful, not hardened and intense like she normally looked. Really quite lovely Quistis thought as she faintly traced a fingertip down her cheek. She watched her sleep for a few minutes longer deep in thought. Finally with a regretful sigh she slipped out from behind her. Be as careful as she could in hopes not to wake her. She carefully laid her down on the couch, laying a pillow under her head. She then tiptoed into the bedroom and came back with a heavy comforter. With utmost care she draped it over Fujin the turned off the music. She dimmed the lights and walked quietly to her bedroom. She looked back over her shoulder with a quite smile. Fujin lay curled up under the blanket sleeping soundly "Goodnight Fu..." She whispered then slipped into bed....
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