Nurse Harriet sat on the side of Rikku's bed with an arm around Rikku's shaking shoulders. "There there dear," Harriet soothed and rocked Rikku to and fro, all the while Rikku sobbed. Yuffie sat at the bottom of the bed and watched in mournful silence, half aware of an aching desire to be the one who soothed Rikku. "There there ... it'll be alright love... you wait and see... everything will be alright." Harriet spoke to Rikku the same way she had spoken to Eiko not so long ago. The doctor had gone to talk with Garnet but on finding them standing over the late Queen's grave he left them alone and waited. "What will happen to Rikku now?" Garnet whispered. "She'll just have to ... understand why ... understand it all. I guess." "Do you think it will work?" "I don't know." ---------- It was night before Rikku felt strong enough to walk on her own. She ate in silence with the family and their friends as they discussed what had been found on the island. Yuffie listened, half aware of a strong desire to ask Rikku again, 'Do you really love me?' "They were put away with all the rest. However the child was found with one of the trains." Steiner stated. Eiko glared at him, "I TOLD you it was MINE! I had it before they brought that box in! I found it! MY TOY!" she thumped her fist on the table. Steiner glared back, "It belonged with the others. It had ... it looked the same as all the others. It was one of those things Eiko. Not a toy." "MY TOY! I already told you! It was MINE! It's not fair!" "All the same." "What's so wrong with a bunch of toys anyway?" Yuffie asked. "We don't trust anything we find on that island." Beatrix answered. "Geez... thanks a lot!" Yuffie joked and smiled at Beatrix. Beatrix didn't smile back. She turned to Garnet and explained what the drawings had shown. "So it is growing back?" Garnet asked, her forkful of food had stopped halfway to her mouth. "Something's growing there. It's not the tree. We wondered if it wasn't some kind of ghost." Beatrix explained. "How? It was already a sort of a ghost to start with." "Well I don't know. It's there. That's what we know. We're sending a team to land there in the next few days. I will be part of the landing party - we will be staying there for at least five nights. I'm leaving a team in charge here - you'll be briefed tomorrow." Garnet nodded. "Be careful then." "It isn't that dangerous. So far as we know." "I'm going too." Steiner stated. His wife shot him a small glance. It said 'not now dear'. "I am going." Steiner stated again. He shot a small 'yes now dear' glance at Beatrix. "I thought we agreed dear." Beatrix smiled politely. "You agreed. I did not. I am going too." Steiner smiled politely back. "Don't lets argue about this now dear." "Why not? At least I got a word in this time!" "What? You agreed!" "When I didn't think you were going!" "I told you!" "You did not!" "I did so!" "You did not!" Steiner and Beatrix glared at each other for a moment, then Steiner sniggered and Beatrix broke into an uncontrollable giggle. They both laughed. The rest of the table just sat and watched. "You two are just gorgeous!" Zidane beamed at the pair, he held his glass in the air. "Lets not let all of this stuff that's happening get us down okay? We'll get through it no matter what!" "Here here!" Steiner bellowed and lifted his glass. The others followed suit, Yuffie grinned at Rikku, "Come on Rikku what'da ya say!" Rikku smiled, lifted her glass and cheered, "Okay!" The sudden burst of hope in her eyes seared like a hot flame into Yuffie's stomach and she raised her hands up in a sudden movement, bellowed, "YEEHAAA!!" then realised the contents of her glass of wine were now well on the way to the ceiling, "AAAH!!" and then of course gravity produced a small shower of wine over Yuffie's reddening face. The table enjoyed a good laugh at her expense. Yuffie scowled at them for a moment, then noticed Rikku was laughing too. It was enough to make her laugh harder than any of the others. ---------- "Hey Rikku... uh..." Yuffie paused and stopped walking. Rikku continued a little way down the corridor before turning around to see where Yuffie was. Yuffie wondered what she was going to say. It had been right there in her mouth just a moment before. Something like 'It'll be okay'. "What?" Rikku asked. "Um... nothing." Yuffie hurried up to Rikku and smiled. Her chest ached. Why? Yuffie watched one of Rikku's hands swaying as they walked back to their room and wondered why she wanted to just pick one up and gently hold it to her face. "I think it'll be okay!" Yuffie blurted as they reached the doorway. Rikku looked at her, a little brave smile, "Sure it will." 'I think it'll be okay? What kinda pansy arse crap was that!' Yuffie thought, scolding herself. Rikku opened the door and turned, as if to say something her mouth opened a little. Then she turned away again. A little pang of curiosity hit Yuffie's stomach. Rikku walked into the room and sat on her bed. She looked down at the floor and blinked. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She took a deep breath. "Hey... it'll..." Yuffie closed the door and sat down next to Rikku. "I don't know how I'm going to keep up with all of this, you know?" Rikku sniffed and swallowed. "You will." Yuffie's hand hovered for a moment above Rikku's shoulder. She knew she should put her arm around the girl to comfort her but it seemed like there was some kind of force that drove sparks into Yuffie's blood, even just to sit near her. "I don't even know if I'll see my family... my friends... I just don't know anything any more." Rikku turned away from Yuffie, buried her face in the bed and sobbed. Yuffie watched in a state of confusion. Her hand once again hovered over Rikku's back; her eyes wandered for a moment across the gentle curves and distracted her welling tears. She wanted to be holding Rikku, comforting her, wiping tears from her eyes. Want that ached in her chest. She took a sudden breath and stared up the ceiling. I don't cry. I never cry. Yuffie examined the ceiling and tried to clear her mind of thoughts. Rikku's words replayed in her mind and the word family caused a tiny flash of her father's face. Her friends' voices distant and far away. Her father's nagging. All so far away. She looked back at Rikku, who was now sitting up and wiping at her face with her sleeve. "I feel a lot better when I cr..." Rikku was interrupted as the door opened. "Excuse me but... I think you're needed." Harriet nodded at the girls. They stood up. Harriet pointed at Rikku, "Just Rikku I think. I think his majesty has some idea of how to help you. Are you okay love?" Yuffie stormed to the door, "I'm coming too! Try and stop me!" Rikku smiled, that little brave smile and shrugged, "I don't mind." Harriet led both girls to the storeroom. Every so often she looked around, Rikku walked with a sullen grey face and Yuffie hovering around her, all concern and an almost confused wide-eyed awe. The door to the storeroom area was guarded, as was the storeroom itself. Inside was dark. The mirror reflected the only glint of light that snuck through the doorway. Zidane entered the room behind the two girls with a lit candle that flickered off the various objects lining the shelves. "Is the mirror man gunna help her?" Yuffie asked. Zidane put the candle on a shelf and shook his head. "Why not?" Yuffie glared at the mirror. "He was a ghost. In my head and not in the mirror. But he told me how to help Rikku." Zidane knelt down in front of the mirror and waved Rikku over. She knelt down as well. "Just ask why, he said. Keep asking and the answer is there. The answer that will help you understand... and that's what will break it. It's like there is some kind of force feeding on weakness and ... this... this is a way of ... breaking the spell. I think." Zidane watched as the mirror frosted over a little. Rikku stared into it, transfixed. "It shows you what's in your mind, the ghost is in there trying to control you so it shows up in the mirror... I uh... I don't know if we really need to be in here but..." Rikku wanted to look away; she didn't want to see him again but she stared as if frozen. The mirror remained frosty grey. Yuffie watched from the doorway. She took a couple of steps closer and stood next to Harriet. The door guards peered inside. "Guys, how bout a little privacy?" Zidane nodded at the crowd behind him. The guards nodded and reluctantly closed the door. Harriet shrugged, "I'll go too dear." Yuffie watched her leave the room. She stood quietly in the flickering candlelight and watched. Ready to pounce if the dumb ghost did something stupid. "Rikku... who is this ghost?" Rikku shrugged. She watched the mirror flicker for a second. It showed nothing. She took a breath. "It's Seymour. A... a ... monster really. Not even a real human. A twisted evil monster... even when he was dead." "Who was he really?" Rikku watched the mirror for a moment. It remained unchanged. She took another breath. Whereever he was in her head, Seymour was quiet at least, though her chest ached from the nervous pounding of her heart. "He was a ... he was the son of a human lady and a Guado Chief. He wanted Yuna to be his wife you know... and then he wanted to kill everything. He was this twisted" Rikku was cut short. "Who's Yuna?" Rikku paused and stared at her hands as they fidgeted. "She's a summoner... in my world... they were sent out to defeat Sin but it kills them too so I was trying to stop her and we were all trying to stop her but no-one could stop her so she just kept going and in the end we... we won. And she was okay. Even if... even if she was with him." Rikku felt the memory emerge; she was happy, truly happy for Yuna. It was only afterward that she allowed herself to feel miserable about it. Her daydream was interrupted once more. "Okay... so how was Seymour mixed up in all of this?" "He ... he wanted to marry Yuna and then ... he was crazy anyway. He said to be alive was suffering. And he wanted everything to die... he was going to m" Zidane interrupted, "To be alive was suffering? Why would he think that?" Rikku shrugged, "He was crazy I guess." Zidane touched Rikku's hand, "Try to leave your hate behind for a moment. Think about this from a distance. What made him think like that? You say he thought life was all about suffering. Was he suffering?" "I don't care if he was suffering! He was a jerk! He ... he just didn't care about anyone else's feelings. He didn't even care about Yuna even if he said he did! He didn't know anything about love!" Zidane ignored the outburst, remembering his brother's advice, "Why?" "I don't kn... I ..." Rikku watched as the mirror flickered once more. She felt as though a little memory was surfacing through the anger. She watched. "You said he was only half... human and half something else... what was it again?" "Guado... they're like... this race and they all live in one city all locked up from the world... coz they think everyone hates them. They think people are scared of them. Some people are. We weren't. But plenty of others are." "His mother was human though?" Zidane asked. He watched the image of a small boy faded and indistinct wash over the mirror. Rikku watched. "Yes. She was. And..." She looked up to see the ghostly image of the young Seymour as she'd seen for just a second on their way to Zanarkand. But in that second she'd seen everything she needed to know. "His mother... they said he and his mother were really close... but she... she..." Rikku watched her memory replay on the mirror, soundless and faded. The image of the young boy looked up as his ghostly mother spoke, wordless and silent. Rikku translated, "She told him she wanted to protect him... she said no-one would ever understand him and then she just... and he was begging her not to. He was... begging her ..." Rikku took a deep breath and swallowed, 'I'm not going to cry, I'm not!' The ghost of Seymour that had been silent in her mind cried out in the boy's voice, 'I don't need protection! I only need you Mother! I love you!' For a few moments no-one spoke. "She killed herself right in front of him." Rikku whispered, tears fell in dark circles to the wooden floor, "While he begged and begged for her to live. And her spirit gave him power...a huge power... but she was gone." Rikku was shaking now, she continued to stare at the image in the mirror, the boy screamed as his mother vanished, the ghost in her mind was a distant whispery voice that screamed and cried out while the silent image clawed at the mirror surface. It's power was broken. Rikku looked down at the floor, her tears falling in quiet drips. 'Cant believe I'm crying for him.' "What would happen to a boy, misunderstood, who loses his mother like that... and has such a power?" "You should have seen it too... the summon she made... it was awful. It was just awful. It was like suffering made into a monster...she was the crazy one, his mother." Rikku stared at the mirror, black and empty, the ghostly crying in her mind seemed to fade into the memory she'd seen played out so long ago. Yuffie had watched in silence, her legs shaking so much she gripped the wooden bench with her shivering fingers. She was grateful of the dark room and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I suppose that was why... I mean... after that he didn't have much of a life probably." Rikku sighed and sniffed. Her head felt as though it had been turned from tar to clear cool ice. "And he said life was all just suffering, perhaps that's really what it meant for him," Zidane said, "he probably even didn't understand why." "Yeh... I mean... he knew things but didn't understand it... he knew what marriage was but it was like... he didn't understand what love was, you know?" "Rikku... I think you did it. I think the ghost is gone now... you understand now. Right?" Rikku smiled, "Yeh... yeh I do." Yuffie opened her mouth and took a step toward Rikku, she almost asked straight away... she had to fight against the words, 'Do you still love me now?' she nearly asked. The words caught in her throat and like an itch they tickled and burned. "Hey Rikku... you're cured right?" Yuffie croaked. Rikku turned and smiled at Yuffie... in an instant her stomach tightened. She felt her mind slam against a mental wall. Her smile faded, then returned, "Well yeh... I guess so." "So that ghost was making you love me?" Yuffie asked in a sudden gush and then very nearly tried to physically claw the words out of the air before they reached Rikku. "Well... it was making me say things, things it knew would hurt me. I didn't want to say those things. I'm sorry if I hurt you." Rikku felt her tears emerge again. "Soo... it wasn't true then." Yuffie mumbled. The back of her throat throbbed with pain. Rikku looked up at Yuffie's face, the wall was like a sedative. As soon as she got anywhere near wondering if Yuffie could ever love her back the wall just shoved her backwards, of course not. Why even bother? Just don't think about it. Too painful. Zidane watched the scene with a half smile. He almost wanted to give Yuffie the answer for Rikku's sake. He thought better of it and stated, "Yuffie - it's been a hard time for Rikku... give things like love a chance to breathe some fresh air okay?" Yuffie forced a smile to her mouth and nodded. Rikku gave Zidane a horrified glare. He grinned at Yuffie then stood up and stretched. Rikku tried to stand; her legs were almost numb from having knelt on them. She wondered if the ghost was really gone. She knew that Seymour was gone. But he said it feeds on weakness, what if the ghost is making me think Yuffie won't ever love me? Yuffie shrugged one shoulder. 'Its not like I care if she loves me anyway... love's just some sappy pathetic thing for sappy loosers.' Yuffie thought angrily, wishing it were the truth. Rikku sighed deeply and looked back up at Yuffie, "You know, I never thought about it like that before. But I wonder why that was the cure. You know? Like. What kind of ghost is killed when you know about the ... whatever it was about?" Yuffie shrugged. Zidane watched the mirror reflecting the flickering candlelight. He walked to the door, "I don't think this thing is actual ghosts... it's something that makes the ghost. It makes someone hurt using memories or things they don't understand. That's as much as I know. Why it does it I don't know. But ... there's something somewhere behind this and we're going to find out." "Yeh. We'll kick its arse" Yuffie said with forced enthusiasm. ---------- Rikku stood by the door while Harriet spoke to her and Yuffie. "It'll be your last few nights in this room, we're moving you to proper quarters. You'll have your own bathroom n all. It'll be proper but won't really be as nice as this. It's not that we don't like havin you here dears, just that if you're to stay a long while you want a place to call your own like. Proper an all. You know? Since you're in a team now." Harriet beamed at the two girls. Yuffie shrugged and sat on her bed, she looked down at it, not my bed anymore. "You'll have a wage too, and some clothes to start you off. An trainin." Harriet tilted her head, "We're doin this to make you happier... it'll be your place, more private... more...suitable." "That sounds great. Thanks." Rikku said. She pictured a small damp grey dormitory room. "Yeh. Thanks. You know... been a few months since I slept in a real bed like this." Yuffie said from the bed. "Months?" Rikku glanced at Yuffie. She'd ask about her story later. "It's very nice there dear. It really is. Please don't feel like you've been kicked out or anything." Harriet's face creased up with concern. Rikku felt obliged to say, "You're all very kind to us and you hardly even know us. It's just been a weird day that's all." Harriet stopped fumbling with her apron and gave the two girls a beaming smile; "Well I'll let you get some sleep then. I'll show you round tomorrow sometime perhaps. It's really very nice. They've only just been built. Very nice really." She left the room and closed the door. It was then Rikku felt the urge to thank her again. "She thinks we hate her now." Rikku mumbled. "Nah. It's cool. It'll be cool to have our own place eh? I just hope the beds are nice and soft." Rikku sat on her bed and watched Yuffie, lying on her back and staring up the ceiling, "Hey Yuffie what did you mean when you said you hadn't slept on a real bed for months?" "Like I said," Yuffie continued to stare at the ceiling, "I haven't slept on a real bed for months." "Oh. You were... sleeping ... did you have a home?" Yuffie thought for a moment, "Nope." "Oh. Sorry. I spose I've kinda been thinking of myself a lot huh..." Rikku felt those feelings again, on the edge of wanting a friend and not wanting to go too deep. "S' Okay." Yuffie mumbled. "It's been kinda weird today huh? With everything happening you know?" Rikku sighed, she wanted so badly to just hold Yuffie and sob again. To rest her head on Yuffie's little shoulder and let her cares float away. Yuffie turned and lay on her side, facing away from Rikku. She stared at the wall and examined the lumpy painted surface, making pictures from the random shapes. Angry at having allowed herself to even get emotional over... some dizzy girl's pretend love. Just don't even think of her any more. She doesn't love me for real. I don't care. I don't care about anything. Rikku watched Yuffie tracing her finger around the little lumps of paint on the wall. The silence seemed so loud as to drown out random noises from outside and the corridor. "Hey Yuffie? If you feel like you need to talk about something... I'm here okay?" Rikku's voice jutted out into the silence and echoed in their minds for long moments afterward. "Yuffie?" "I'm tired." Yuffie reached her arm out behind and pulled the other side of the covers over herself. Rikku pondered the odd way of sleeping. She realised she knew very little about Yuffie at all. 'Right now she's the best friend I have and I've just been ignoring her.' She knew why of course. She lay on her back and looked up at the ceiling. The rest of her life seemed so far away, like a dream she'd had once. She also realised that there hadn't been much there for her anyway. She had been miserable. Lost. Drowned in self-pity. Even when Lulu and Wakka tried to help her. Even Yuna understood. Memories replayed in Rikku's mind, 'you'll find someone... don't worry you'll find someone to love.' Her father losing his temper and yelling, 'Someone in this family has to have children Rikku, we need a new generation.' Rikku remembered the odd way he'd stared at her brother when he said that. She closed her eyes and watched the images in her mind. Memories. It was all she had of them now. "Do you miss your family Yuffie? I miss mine. I miss my friends." Rikku said quietly, tears trickled through her closed eyes and left trails of cold down to her ears. She waited for an answer, counting seconds. After a minute she whispered, "Are you asleep?" There was no reply. "Sorry Yuffie... you're the best friend anyone could have. I really..." Rikku gulped for air, "I wish I could just be your friend you know... I just can't... I just can't... you'll never love me the way I'd fall for you... no-one ever will..." Yuffie lay still. The words had floated across the room so gently she could hear just one or two of them, just the word wish and the word can't. While she lay there, half on top of the covers and half under them, she made up sentences containing the words she'd heard and drifted off to a light sleep. She didn't even notice when Rikku turned out the light.
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