If I Were You
"My, my. Quite the unsual situation we've found ourselves in this time,
isn't it, Senior?"
The underground headquarters of ACROSS seemed empty without Il Palazzo,
leaving Excel and Hyatt feeling dwarfed by its towering ceiling and many
dark corners. The red-carpeted platform loomed above them, the empty
throne atop it strangely intimidating. Every step was a thunderous echo,
every breath a cloud of frost, and one could hear a pin drop in the
cavernous silence of the great hall. To them, it seemed devoid of life,
like a carcass picked clean: terrifying and depressing all at once. What
were they to do with themselves, they wondered, in the long and lonely
week that stretched out before them without their lord? They had been
left with a nonchalant order to do what they wished with the
headquarters, but somehow, every movement seemed treacherous without Il
Palazzo to dictate it. To Excel especially, being without a commander
was a staggering and heartbreaking reality, and she felt terribly
incompetent - even more so than usual - without his instruction.
-Of course-, Excel told herself, -that's a ridiculous thought-. For it
wasn't that he had left her alone. Rather, he had left her under the
control of someone else...
"Well, well," said Hyatt as she climbed the steps to the stage. "This
-will- be quite an adventure, won't it?" Lying atop the scarlet-draped
throne was an odd silver ornament, bearing several jutting spikes and
studded with a sort of jewel - which had until that moment, been
distinctive to Il Palazzo. "Although I am rather confused as to how one
wears this, it is an honor nonetheless." Nestling the crown in her royal
blue tresses, she turned to her dumbfounded senior and smiled. "Don't
you think so, Senior Excel?"
"Yeah, whatever," she replied irritably, still unable to believe that
her beloved lord had left his power to Hyatt rather than her. After all
she'd done for him, she found it unbearable that he would relinquish his
post to her junior in his absence, and the sight of it was almost too
much to bear.
Running her hands over the crimson velour of the crescent-shaped seat,
she tilted her head and asked innocently, "Senior...do I offend?"
"Why are you calling me Senior?" Excel snapped. "You're -my- commanding
officer now." Muttering to herself, she stalked off to a far corner of
the hall, and Hyatt sat down with a heavy sigh.
-Grateful as I am for your trust in me, Lord Il Palazzo-, she thought,
-I can certainly see this coming between Senior Excel and I. Of course,
it's not as if I bear any ill will towards her; after all, I would be
all too delighted to see her take this post in my stead. But it is
neither of our places to question you, so I suppose I shall simply have
to carry out my duties as instructed, regardless of its effects on
Seni-- on Excel.-
Taking a deep breath, Hyatt let her gaze wander about the headquarters
in all its glory - which, sadly enough, wasn't much. Il Palazzo wasted
none of their sparse resources on decor. Which, when one considered it,
was the smartest course of action...but not the most accomodating one.
The only sound in the vast cavern was that of Excel's grumblings from
behind a distant column, and that of Hyatt's own labored breaths.
But there was no need to worry. Il Palazzo had placed his trust in her,
and he was no fool, so...Hyatt laid back and closed her eyes. There was
no need to worrry. She could do this. She knew she could, if she'd only
try...
Far too many long minutes later, Excel poked her head out from around
the stone pillar to see Hyatt sitting motionless on the throne, her eyes
closed and her head back. Creeping tentatively towards the platform, she
realized that her new commander had indeed fallen asleep, and frowned at
her slumbering form.- Sometimes I fear I'll never understand you, Lord
Il Palazzo,- she sighed. -Look at her, sleeping on the job! I would
never be so sloppy. You know that.-
-Don't you?-
Quietly climbing the steps, she perched herself on the seat of the
throne, peering into Hyatt's closed eyes with distaste. -It's not as if
I dislike her,- she told herself. -It's just that I don't understand.
Ha-chan is practically dead already - why leave her in charge instead of
me?- Craning in for a better look, Excel examined the pale young woman,
wondering what it was about her that made her so attractive to Il
Palazzo. She was pretty enough, that was for certain. Perhaps even
prettier than Excel, though she didn't like to think of that; she was
supposed to be the beautiful heroine, wasn't she? And yet...
And yet, Hyatt really was lovely. When one put aside the coppery smell
of blood that hung about her, it was painfully obvious, and it gave rise
to the unsettling thought that it might be the very reason that she was
favored over Excel. -Ha-chan is beautiful,- she thought sadly. -And
quiet, and always kind...everything I'm not. Everything about her is
wonderful, and everything about me is...what? Annoying?-
"No!" she said aloud, "No! Perish the thought!" Gritting her teeth, she
closed her eyes and said fiercely, "It cannot be. It must not. Il
Palazzo would never be so unfair."
"Mmm?" Hyatt's eyes fluttered open, startled at the noise. "Excel?
Wha--"
Excel backed away, forcing herself to regain her composure. "It's
nothing, Ha-ch-- Hyatt. It's nothing. Go back to sleep."
As she watched her former senior retreat into the darkness, Hyatt said
softly, "Excel?"
She stiffened. "What?"
"I'm sorry."
Heaving a sigh, Excel turned around, guiltily avoiding Hyatt's eyes.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for. It's not your fault."
"Yes, but...it's just that..." Hyatt bit her lip anxiously, unsure of
what to say next. "I feel that you may be...err, misinterpreting the
situation."
Excel raised an eyebrow. "How's that?"
"I know that you feel bad that I was chosen above you," Hyatt said
kindly. "But you mustn't assume that Lord Il Palazzo meant to hurt you
by doing so. Perhaps...perhaps he simply meant to give you a break.
Perhaps he thought that, with all of the stress you are under from
leading our daily missions, you would appreciate a bit less
responsibility."
She snorted derisively. "Don't kid yourself. We both know that's not
true." Crossing her arms over her chest, she approached the foot of the
steps, her emerald eyes sweeping the frail woman that dominated the
throne. "But you know what, Hyatt? Sometimes I wish you had never joined
ACROSS."
Hyatt's gaze dropped to her lap, where she clasped her hands. From the
corner of her eye, she could see Excel standing before her, waiting for
only a moment before turning to stalk away. "If that is so," she
interrupted quietly, "could it be that you are...jealous of me?"
"No!" retorted Excel heatedly, whirling around to face her. "Never! It's
not...it's not that..." Her cry trailed off into the darkness, and she
stood, trembling ever so slightly, her mind swimming in the sudden anger
of her words. -It's not that I'm jealous of Hyatt-, she said slowly to
herself, and found that it was true. But it was something else she
felt...something else entirely, and something strange. Something new,
and yet something that had always been there...
Silently scaling the steps to the platform, Excel approached Hyatt and
touched her shoulder. "I...I didn't mean to yell."
Hyatt smiled with a hint of remorse, brushing a stray lock of hair from
her face as she gestured for Excel to sit beside her on the arm rest.
"Of course. But if you're not jealous...Excel, what -are- you?"
"I told you it was nothing," she mumbled.
"You said you wished you'd never met me. That's not nothing. And I
wish..." Gently, she placed her hand over Excel's where it rested on the
soft red velvet of her throne. "I wish you would tell me what's wrong."
Excel tensed at the softness of Hyatt's touch, the tender gesture
coursing through her like a current. Swallowing hard, she choked out,
"It's just that...you're perfect, Hyatt."
"What?"
"You're -perfect-. Every inch of you. Why else would Lord Il Palazzo
love you so much?" Forcing back the tears forming in the corners of her
eyes, she said through clenched teeth, "Why else would he favor you over
me, when I've served him for as long as I can remember? Why else would
he reward you instead of me, when I've worked twice as hard for him? Why
else would he punish me and not you, when I...I've tried -so- hard--"
Her words cut off with a sharp sob, and before she knew it, she had
fallen into Hyatt's arms. Cradling Excel to her chest, she stroked her
strawberry-blonde hair with pale, slender fingers, resting her cheek
against the crown of her head. -Oh, goodness,- she thought sadly,
-Whatever am I to do now? Poor Excel. I want to comfort her more than
anything in the world, but....- Her gaze caught a glint of light
bouncing off Il Palazzo's crown, which she wore if nothing else as a
symbol of her loyalty to him. And while she knew that her former senior
needed her now more than ever, she also knew that this was not what Il
Palazzo would have done to take care of it.
Excel laid her tearstained face against Hyatt's shoulder, suddenly
dreading letting her go. And at that moment she knew what it was she had
longed for, watching the beautiful girl as she slept; what it was she
had felt when her jealousy ebbed. It wasn't that she hated Hyatt, for
the perfection that made Il Palazzo favor her. Rather, it was the
opposite...
"You're...the best thing that's ever happened to him, Hyatt. And I wish
I could hate you for that." She wound her finger around an indigo curl
nestled in the soft curve of her senior's neck, taking in the soft smell
of her milkwhite skin. "But I can't. Because you're the best thing
that's ever happened to me, too."
"Excel--" Hyatt's surprised reaction was cut short by the warm touch of
her junior's lips against hers. She froze, her heart feeling as if it
had been ripped in two; on one side, she wanted nothing more than to
wrap her arms around Excel and pull her closer, losing herself in the
sweet tenderness of her kiss. And on the other side, there was Il
Palazzo, and how he had trusted her with everything dear to him. She was
supposed to have taken his place, and therefore deal with his agent as
he would have. -Oh, Lord Il Palazzo,- she whispered in her mind, -What
would you do if you were me?-
-What would you do...?-
Slowly pulling away, Excel held Hyatt's gaze with her own, her breath
coming fast and hard as a rosy blush spread over her face. "Hyatt," she
whispered, her voice thick with emotion, "I--"
Hyatt placed a finger to Excel's lips, holding it there to silence her
for a moment before speaking. "Excel," she said quietly at last, a sort
of calm, cold resolve in her tone, "While I understand and am certainly
flattered by your sentiment, I must ask you to take several steps back."
Frozen inside, Excel nodded numbly and stepped off of the platform,
every footstep echoing in the endless darkness of the massive chamber.
Hyatt waited until she heard the resonant ring of Excel's boots against
the tile - then smiled bitterly, and reached for the long, tasseled cord
that hung by her side.
"Refrain from making confessions of love within headquarters."
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