Maya was already at the apartment when Ritsuko arrived. She hesitated in the doorframe, key still in her hand. Maya was standing there, not five yards away, something oddly accusatory about her facial expression. "Morning, Maya." "Morning ma'am." There was a prolonged silence as Ritsuko took off her jacket and moved towards the kitchen, Maya carefully observing her every move. "Umm, I made a fresh pot of coffee, it should still be hot, it's only been there about five minutes." Ritsuko smiled as she filled a mug. "Thankyou, that's sweet of you." She sat down on the sofa, Maya perching nervously at the other end. Again, a silence descended upon them but it was Ritsuko who broke it this time. "I think we should talk about last night." "Okay." Another pause. "What do you want to say?" "Maya, we're both adults. I think we should have known better than to get so drunk and-carried away. But I'm sorry you were so upset last night." "No, no, Dr Akagi, it's fine, I assure you." Maya managed to amaze them both by putting on a smile. "Like you said, we get carried away, it never would have happened had I not behaved like a drunken teenager." She shrugged. "I said things that I didn't mean, wasn't the first time and it won't be the last, I was just being ridiculous, melodramatic." Ritsuko gazed suspiciously at her for a few seconds, finding it hard to believe that Maya could have become such a different person simply due to a few drinks, but then, very few people she knew, if any, could lie as convincingly as this. "Well I guess I still owe you an apology, I shouldn't have kissed you like that, it wasn't fair." "No, Dr Akagi, you were-" "Please, let me finish. I didn't mean anything by it." She only hoped her lies were as convincing as what Maya had just said. "The simple fact is that I don't handle drink well at all, I got far too emotional. My intent was not to initiate anything like that between us. I like you as a person and respect you as a colleague but it ends there. I hope you can forgive my irrational behaviour but I'll understand if you're not happy with me right now." Maya nodded. "And I'm sorry for what you heard me say, but most of that was fuelled by my anger at Aoba, we'd been arguing, so." she shrugged. "I say crazy things when I get mad, besides, it's still far too soon after Yoshimi and I.well." She laughed at herself. "Let's just say I'm not exactly in the frame of mind for starting another relationship right now." "Yes, I can see where you're coming from. Personally I don't have the time to get involved with anyone. But I'm sure we will find people, when we're ready." "Yup, guess so." Maya smiled and headed into the kitchen, seeming surprisingly perky. Ritsuko reclined happily onto the sofa, that exchange had been easier than she'd expected. Maya didn't want to get involved, and that was fine, wasn't it? Ritsuko was unsure of whether or not this was what she really wanted, so by backing out now she had done the right thing, hadn't she? So why, she thought to herself, was this feeling of emptiness growing inside her? She realised all too suddenly the mistake she had made, by not being honest, by not facing up to what had happened. Suddenly feeling choked again, Ritsuko tried to hold the tears back but to no avail. She sobbed into her hands, hunched over on the sofa, until she was aware of Maya's arm around her shoulder. "Shhh, sempai." "Oh God, Maya, I'm sorry." "I just wish you had told me the truth straight away, perhaps I do love you, but you lied to me, Dr Akagi, you denied what you really felt for me. I just can't trust anybody who would lie to me, I can't live like that. It wouldn't work. I don't want to be with you." "No! Please, Maya, why won't you give me a chance?" "Shinjuku 3, East." "What?" "The next station is Shinjuku 3, East" Ritsuko's eyes snapped open and she realised that she was still on the subway, pulling into her station. She dried her eyes, she hadn't intended to fall asleep on the train and the fact she had been crying in her sleep only added to her embarrassment, but none of the other few commuters seemed to even acknowledge her as she stepped onto the platform.
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