Cruise my Thunder
The silence.
It’s the silence before the bloodshed that bothers most people about
this profession. Like a calm wind before the storm. Some people might
call this a natural reaction to assassination, but in my head, it’s
simply cowardice.
After all, why would you take up the job of an assassin if your
frigidness prevents you from doing your best? I suppose it’s merely an
extension of the weak-willed. Probably why DOATEC desires me to use a
gun to execute this woman. It’s a cheap weapon. It allows you to
strike from the dark like a coward. However it’s not messy. A quick,
sharp and easy kill. But for their information, I don’t need such a
weapon. My body is my weapon. My powers have taken out more lives than
anyone could imagine. Which is why they chose me for this assignment.
Damn well near nobody would take on a job like this. The assassination
of Fame Douglas’ bastard daughter. Jobs such as this should be left to
the experts in their field.
Like me.
Me. The second strongest ninja of the Mugen-Tenshin Hajin mon. Adored
by men as Ayane and feared by all as the Female Tengu. Every step I
take leaves tremors on the earth below me. My beauty cuts through
hearts with the keen skill of a blade. But that beauty is only a shell
that hides my power.
I am the Woman Tengu.
In my eyes, the role of a ninja is to kill. And that suits me just
fine. Blood defines my existence, and reflects my intentions on the
world. Right now, life means nothing to me. But others have always
contradicted me on that belief. Like Genra. My father figure. One of
only two men that I feel real respect for. He always told me that
regardless of our lives as shinobi, life was something that should be
thanked for and cherished. Genra always does have a more optimistic
outlook on life than I do. And for a long time, I felt that I was
starting to believe him...
Until now.
Why the hell should I give a damn about life, if life doesn’t give a
damn about me? If the divine spirits know how I felt or what I need, I
would have gotten what I wanted.
Her.
I shake my head to get that woman’s image out of my brain. I can’t
stand feeling this way anymore. I have a job to do, and I won’t fail.
Unlike her, I can face up to my responsibilities. As I peer over the
skybox just at the top on the Opera house, I load the rifle with a
silver-tipped bullet, and make further adjustments.
And yet again...even when I have better things to be thinking about,
she comes to mind.
Why the hell does she have this effect on me?
She is nothing. Nothing more than a coward who ran away from her
duties to the Mugen-Tenshin. Why should I care about her? I don’t even
know. But all through my preparation...I feel my lip quivering as my
thoughts towards her grow ever the stronger.
Kasumi.
God, even thinking her name knocks me sideways. Even now, I...I can’t
help but wonder where she is or how she is doing. If my guesses are
correct, then I can assume she is fighting for her life against wave
after wave of ninja’s from the Mugen-Tenshin. All that effort is
fruitless however. Even though I despise her, I am not ignorant of
Kasumi’s power. Those men would be halfway to heaven if she were the
killing type. But luckily for them, she isn’t.
Maybe that’s why she is always the heroine.
Kasumi has always been the bright, beautiful, devout, dear to our
hearts kunoichi. Always striving for her best. Always fighting for the
good of the masses, never for herself. The purest of the pure.
The divine angel of the Mugen-Tenshin.
The self-righteous bitch.
Everyone looks at her as a saviour to our problems. But then, when it
comes to me, I’m looked upon with disdain. The unwelcome opposite to
the angelic ninja. I am the illegitimate bad seed. Ayane, the dark
side of the family. The disrespectful child whose regard is only for
herself.
The selfish cast-off.
That’s how they all see me. Not as my own woman, but as the dark side
of Kasumi. Ordained by the Kami to live out my life in her
overwhelming shadow.
Yet despite all the troubles she has caused me, I look at myself. And
I see something. Something I hate about myself.
{What is it you see? A side of you that respects her? Or a side of you
that...}
No! I...I don’t feel that way! Not anymore. I hate that woman. Kasumi
ran away from her duties to the clan. She abandoned us, and yet even
though the clan sends ninjas to obliterate her, they regret every
second of it. They regret issuing justice to the traitor even after
what she’s done to us.
{Oh I see...your distaste for Kasumi comes from her betrayal...}
That’s right. I hate her for it.
{So you hate her for leaving the clan? Even though she was doing it to
rescue Hayate?}
Don’t bring him into this! She disowned him just like she disowned...
{You?}
...I...I didn’t care what she did! I never cared...not even when she
was still apart of the Mugen-Tenshin. She made her choices and I’ll be
damned if I could be concerned with them.
{When she was apart of the Mugen-Tenshin? When she was still apart of
your life? When you still had the chance to see her?}
...I...
{Don’t you miss those times?}
Even though I scowl to think like this, I know my inner voice was
right. Although had to put up with Kasumi’s nature and popularity back
then, I feel a dreamy nostalgia take over when I remember the past.
Things were so much easier then. Like the day I was fully ordained as
Genra’s future successor to the Hajin mon style. Or the day when...
{Kasumi received her Tanto?}
I tremble. I remember that day clearly. How...could I ever have
forgotten it? It was a bright summer’s day. The skies were clear, the
birds were chirping. But more importantly, it was the day that Kasumi
was blessed with the Tanto she wields even to this day. More than 20
of us, including Hayate and I, were made to attend the ceremony. I can
clearly remember the grand elders presenting the blade to her. Kasumi
was so happy that day. But I could also see that she was nervous. If
it had been me, I would have accepted such an honour without any fear.
But then that has always been Kasumi’s way. Being ‘the gentle
kunoichi’ who always upstaged me.
And I remember the envy I felt when I saw her take the sword into her
hands. Why was she the one who got the glory? The focus? The
attention? I was incensed by it. I just had to vent my annoyance out
on someone.
And who better than the girl who delivered that annoyance to me?
So I decided what I wanted to do. Beat the living crap out of her. All
fighting between clan members was severely frowned on, but I didn’t
care anymore. Something was brewing inside me. I didn’t know what it
was, but I knew I just had to let it out.
Shortly after Kasumi’s adoption of her Tanto, I called on her. It was
night at that point, so nobody knew of my actions. I quite simply
asked her to spar for a little while in the training room. I could
tell that Kasumi was apprehensive; she never liked training with me
because I had a tendency to take things a little too far. But she
accepted it, and we went over to the training hall.
When we got started, I immediately desired to get serious. Every time
I looked at that smug expression on her face...that innocent
smile...like butter wouldn’t melt...I felt more anger inside me. I was
sick and tired of living in her shadow. I couldn’t stand it any
longer. As we began, I came at her with furious strikes that would
make even the most hardened of shinobi quake where they stood.
But not her.
She tossed and dove around my fists, avoiding each attack I issued
out, and she never countered them. That annoyed me even further. To
her this was training. To me this was for real. She was making a
mockery of my skill. Her passive nature was insulting the female
Tengu.
I was going to make her pay for it.
My hand tightened into a fist once more, and I stepped forward,
thrusting it towards Kasumi’s abdomen. But as my fist cut through the
air, both of her hands reached out to block the punch, and then
wrapped around my hand. I was startled, but even more so when she
branched her leg out to knock me off my feet. Then she tugged at my
arm, and I was jerked forwards as Kasumi’s body tumbled downwards to
drag me with her.
I fell on top of her in a clumsy heap, breathing hard from going to so
much effort. All for nothing. Then I assessed the situation. I was
lying on top of my sworn rival; our arms tangled together, my thigh
pressing between her legs, her heaving bosom beneath my own. It was
light-hearted. Even though I was deathly serious in defeating her.
And as I looked down at her...I was transfixed by that shy smile. In
some ways, I was annoyed. I made a bid to beat her and she was
treating it like a joke. But then...I looked at her. I seriously
looked at her. Kasumi’s innocence...it wasn’t an act. And for the
first time...I...
{You saw the beautiful young woman that was there. Not just your rival
or your nemesis.}
That was what I felt. And soon enough, I felt myself being lost in her
eyes. Kami-sama, those eyes...I hate to admit it, but I was drawn to
her. And before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing her.
I was scared. I was confused. I didn’t know what I was feeling. All I
could think was that...for the first time in a while, I was happy. And
what scared me the most was that...
Kasumi wasn’t fighting it.
She could have slapped me, punched me or done anything else but she
didn’t. She was kissing me back with a passion that I had never seen
before. I was just too shocked by it. I did the only thing I saw fit
to do.
I ran.
The moment I felt like I was about to lose myself, I jerked my lips
away from her and ran. I despise cowards but I think at that point it
would have been hypocritical to insult them. Realizing that Kasumi may
have had feelings for me and understanding my own sentiments towards
her were so much to take on board at the time. I had to leave.
{And in the process, you broke her heart.}
It wasn’t my intention. I knew I had blunt feelings of distaste for
Kasumi. I still do and I probably always will. But for the first time,
I felt vulnerable around her and I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want to
feel weak, I didn’t want her to see me weak and I didn’t want her to
know that...
{You might have felt the same all along?}
No! I don’t think like that. That’s not me. That is not Ayane. I
detest Kasumi. It is not possible for me to feel that way about her. I
made a mistake. I kissed her because I was confused and angry. Not
because I harboured some secret desire for her.
{Maybe not now. But why where you so hurt when she left?}
Because...I...
{And why can’t you offer your heart to anyone else?}
I *have* offered my heart to someone else! I desire Hayate. Aside from
Genra, he is the only man that I can comfortably say that I respect.
He is the one that I need in my life. Not Kasumi. I would die a happy
woman if I saw her scorned in the same way she scorned the clan.
{You do not love Hayate.}
Yes I-
{No you don’t. He is just a substitute. You see him, and your heart
pounds with desire. But not because you love him. When you look at
Hayate through those eyes of yours, you don’t see the tall, handsome
shinobi of the wind. You see the innocent, loving Kasumi. When you
look into his eyes, you are reminded of that night. The night you and
Kasumi kissed. The night that has been scripted into your soul. You
feel it all the time. Even when you know that you yourself are the
only reason you cannot be with her. And it’s the only reason you’ve
been motivated to seek Hayate out since his disappearance. Because you
cannot stand to lose your last tie to Kasumi’s memory.}
My shoulders jerk. I reprimand myself for thinking like this. But the
truth always did have a very brutal way of striking someone down. I
just can’t face this anymore. I won’t allow myself to.
I steady myself as the Douglas daughter, Helena, begins to sing to the
patient audience below. As soon as I’m ready, I place my eye to the
sniper lens of the rifle and I aim the crosshair around the forehead
of the girl. I’m an assassin and a ninja. I’m not a coward like
Kasumi. I am the future successor to the Mugen-Tenshin Hajin mon
style. And I’ll die before I give that woman a shred of my love.
~I hate you, Kasumi. ~
The girl is in my sights.
~I hate you, Kasumi. ~
My index finger curls around the trigger as she continues to sing.
~I hate you, Kasumi! ~
I fire.
Kaiser’s Afterthoughts
----------------------
* My first Dead or Alive fic! I hope it went well. I’m more used to
writing Guilty Gear fics these days. If this goes well then I might do
a follow up from Kasumi’s perspective.
* For the record, I don’t really think anything can happen between
Kasumi and Ayane. I genuinely believe that Ayane dislikes Kasumi, and
they are half-sisters, which nails the pairing into the ground.
However, Kasumi’s clone is a different story...
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