A Good Night
I lie here, her arms around me, and it's both more than I ever dared
hope for, and everything I ever wanted. To feel her holding me, her
skin against mine, to feel the wetness of our passion turning cool as
we both supposedly sleep. I may not be back to full strength, but I
think I gave a fair account of myself. I hope I did. What if she had
to fake it? I don't think she did... I don't think Kei would ever fake
something like... that.
The doctors would probably be ticked off if they knew I'd started
making love to someone the day I left the hospital and how much energy
we'd put into it for... geez, what day is it, now?... but then,
they're not the ones that thought their unrequited love had died, and
then had samesaid love walk in and be requited. Er, or something like
that. However that works.
Well, I *AM* staying in bed, like they told me!
But I'm not sleeping, any more than I was when we were making love. I
feel Kei's every breath rustling my hair and touching my skin, and I
wonder... does she really love me? Is it just... pity, or duty? I
mean, the way I was when she found me... dehydrated, starved, barely
able to move... what if she just said it so I wouldn't die on her? Or
'cause she felt guilty?
For that matter... can I be sure I really love her? That it isn't
guilt, or...?
When she was gone... it seemed so easy to pick out each and every
little thing that made me love her. The whys, and hows, and every
moment where I loved her even more. But now... with her here, so
close... those whys and hows seem misty, they don't wanna come to me.
And instead of just lying here, loving her as she holds me, I'm
thinking all this.
She's the first woman I've ever been with. Was I good? Was I the first
woman she'd ever been with? Was I the first PERSON she's ever been
with? I don't think I was. I mean, I think I may've been the first
woman. But maybe I wasn't. Heck, maybe she's just never been with a
GUY.
... Am I butch, or something?
Noooo, I really don't think that's it. If either of us is the "man", I
think it'd have to be Kei. Just because she's kinda, well, macho. Not
in a BAD way, really. I think. I don't even KNOW what I think.
You know what? I don't care. I don't care about ANY of it. I love Kei,
and Kei loves me. What more do I need to know than that?
"Kei...?"
"Mmm..." The redhead stirred slightly, her shock of blonde hair
intermingling with the dark purple of Yuri's own hair. "What is it,
baby...?"
Yuri's cheeks colored slightly. She turned her head a little to look
over her shoulder at slitted-open green eyes. "I love you, Kei. I
really do."
A small, tired smile touched Kei's lips, and she raised her head to
kiss Yuri's cheek. "I know. I love you, too. Really. Now, you should
actually get some sleep, like the doctors said, 'kay?"
"'Kay," Yuri whispered back, letting her head rest again, snuggling
closer back against her partner. Soon, real sleep had claimed her, a
dreamless sleep, but not a sensationless one, for she could still feel
Kei's warmth and presence.
Could stay awake forever an' watch her sleep, I think. She just looks
so perfect... that purple hair, that pale skin... innocent little
face. Hell, I know what that innocent-lookin' little mouth can DO, but
the way she looks now, even I have trouble believin' it. An' even
though we're both around the same height, me maybe a little shorter,
she looks so small this way... spooned back against me, like she just
wanted ta pull me around her an' use me as a blanket.
For so long, I was afraid to even friggin' look at her. Just knowin'
she was with me, it made my stomach do flipflops. I had to try an'
ignore it just to get my job done. And that made me mad. Then I
realized that me bein' mad made HER mad. Kept her at a distance. That
hurt like hell, but it also made it easier, somehow. So I was just mad
all the time.
I dunno... I mean, if I had handled stuff better, maybe things
wouldn't've gotten so bad. I mean, dammit, if I'd taken a bit more
time walkin' from her front door to her bedroom... I'd've lost Yuri
forever. I don't even know what I'd've done, then. I might've picked
up my snub-nose and followed her. I mean, I ain't the sort to think
about that kinda thing, but walkin' in and being just too late... an'
the only woman I ever REALLY loved, lyin' there with a blaster burn in
her? I dunno... I can't see ever goin' on, after that, despite all
that stuff I told her.
Look at 'er. Still beautiful, still vital... but what she went through
still shows on 'er. She'll be alright now, I guess... but I never
thought I'd worry so much about someone. I mean, like I do with her.
It makes me think of... damn, of stuff I NEVER thought I'd be
considerin' in a million years. Settlin' down. Maybe actually
havin'... kids. Damn, that's a fuckin' scary thought! But I can't help
but wonder...
Thank God me'n'Yuri are here on Earth. Out in the colonies where we
were born, this stuff ain't encouraged. Hell, here, it's practically
typical. And with all the cloning and stuff, we could actually HAVE
kids. Kids! Me! Aw, hell no, there's no WAY *I'M* gonna give birth! If
we EVER decide ta do that, I gotta figure out how to get Yuri to
handle THAT end.
I guess that's thinkin' too far ahead... really, do I need any more
than that she's right here, with me? An' I'm holding her, bein' with
her? Hell no. That's enough for this backwater girl.
"Hey... Yuri...?"
"Mmm...?"
"You awake...?"
"Mmm-hmmm..."
"... Wanna fool around some more...?"
"..." *giggle* "Okay..."
~Fin... for now ^_~
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