Please Come Back to Me
Yuri sat, her hands resting on her knees, staring straight
ahead. Her blue and white 3WA uniform still bore the slashes and burns
of her recent battle, but her eyes bore the hurt and pain of deep,
scarring sorrow. They seemed to shake slightly, as over and over again.
'Kei! Kei, you're taking the Lovely Angel in too close!'
'Knock it off, Yuri, I can fly the damn ship! Oh, damn! Dammit,
I'm hit!'
'Eject! Get out of the ship, Kei!'
'No... no, I can manage! They'll get away!'
'Let them get away then! Kei, you're caught in the station's
gravity!'
'No, I can... oh, fuck!'
'Kei! Kei, NOOOOOOO! KEI, I LOVE YOU!'
A single tear trickled down her cheek, just as it did as she thought
of the explosion of the sleek red starship impacting against the colony's
habitation ring. Yuri had had to be helped out of the communications area,
sobbing, almost totally incoherent. It didn't matter to her that she'd
shouted her love to a rapidly-dissipating cloud of fire that had once
been her partner, or that probably the whole sector had heard her. It
didn't matter that the criminals that they had been pursuing had been
killed in the explosion. None of it mattered.
Kei was dead, and nothing would ever matter again.
'I was never nice to her... well, she was never nice to me... but
that shouldn't have mattered... it didn't matter... it didn't matter to
my heart... oh, Kei...'
"Agent Yuri? Agent Yuri?"
Yuri eventually noticed the agent standing in front of her, saying
her name. She looked up, silent, almost as if hurt by his very existence
and wondering why he was there.
"Agent Yuri... the transport's ready to take you home."
Yuri almost asked 'Which home?' Would they take her to her cold,
lonely apartment back on Earth, where somehow things would manage
to remind her of Kei? Or would they ship her back to the backwater
little colony world she'd been born on, back to a family that would be
sympathetic, but without quite understanding how she could love another
woman so much as to cause this sorrow?
But it didn't matter to her where she went. Kei was dead, no matter
where in the universe she would lay in bed and cry.
It was back to Earth.
The transport ride took three days, three days in which Yuri
rarely came out of her room, only to eat, and only that because the
ship's doctor would have been all over her if she hadn't. Yuri didn't
want to be placed in counseling to "work through her grief". She didn't
want to work through her grief. She wanted her grief.
'It's all my fault, after all,' she reasoned as she walked through
the dirty, crowded sidewalks that led from the spaceport to her little
apartment. The oppressive human presence in this area might as well not
have existed for her. 'If I'd been better to her... supporting her when
I should've instead of always telling her she was being stubborn... or
stupid... she might have listened to me when I told her to get out. It's
my fault.'
She found a large box on her doorstep, and it didn't take a second
glance to tell that it was Kei's footlocker from 3WA headquarters. It had
no real meaning for her, though; it didn't make her heart twinge, because
there was only ice where her heart had been. She squatted down, detaching
the little slip of paper, reading the explanation without really caring.
Kei's family had moved to another colony planet, and like the
frontier-breakers they considered themselves to be, hadn't bothered to
leave a forwarding address. Without anyone else to send it to, Kei's
possessions had been shipped to her partner, just like so many bachelor
cops of centuries earlier. The locker was heavy, and had probably
taken two grown delivery men a lot of straining and grunting to get it
here. Yuri hauled it up by one end and dragged it into the bedroom by
herself. While she was a good deal stronger than her slender teenage
girl's frame looked, she still felt muscles pull out of place in her
arms and back. Didn't matter. The pain had no power to touch her anymore.
Not bothering with lights, Yuri let the footlocker thump heavily
on the floor. After a moment, she realized that she was still wearing
her dirty and ripped uniform, having never bothered to throw the memory
plastic garments into the regenerator. She didn't bother with it now,
instead simply taking it off and tossing it aside. Now clad in nothing
but a few mostly-healed blaster burns, soot, and her long purple hair,
Yuri knelt down, not bothering to look at the missive to find out the
combination, instead just punching it in and hearing the hiss of the
bolts popping open.
'Guess I knew you a little better than you thought, Kei.' She
lifted the lid, her dead-seeming eyes scanning over the remnants of
her unrequited love's proffessional life. Two extra uniforms, still
folded and bagged (memory plastic was hard to destroy beyond its
ability to regenerate, but the Lovely Angels had already forced the
producers of the uniforms to have to rewrite THAT advertising more than
once). Standard-issue toolkit, first-aid kit, and laptop computer. The
first-aid kit was partly open, showing the contents inside as having
been rummaged around in hastily more than once. A smile almost came to
Yuri's lips as she remembered Kei cursing, one hand tucked against her
armpit as she used the other to rummage around for salve and a bandage
to put on microwelder burns. But the smile faded back into nonexistance
as she remembered that she would never see that again. The laptop looked
like it had seen little, if any use; Kei was more of a hands-on person,
preferring to figure her tech out for herself rather than plug it into
a computer and be told. Which led to the toolbox.
It was scarred and dented, looking like it had seen twenty years'
service in the year or two that Kei had been using it. Mildly curious,
Yuri lifted the toolbox almost reverantly from its niche and set it
on the floor, working the somewhat bent latch and opening it up. The
tools were clean, obviously lovingly cared-for, but somewhat after the
fact, it seemed, since they too bore their fair share of scratches and
chipped edges, no doubt from being used in manners that their designers
had not quite thought of. And, sitting nestled amidst the tools, was
the toolbox's, and Kei's, most often-attacked technical challenge;
the little snub-nosed, hair-trigger blaster that had belonged to Iris,
half of the original Lovely Angels.
'Kei, can't you shoot straight?! Why don't you use a regular gun,
geez!'
'Because I wanna use THIS one!'
"Couldn't let yourself be beat by anything, could you?" Yuri
whispered aloud to the empty air. "Least of all the ghosts of the
past." She wondered briefly why Kei hadn't taken her little pet
project with her, but decided that that, like everything else, didn't
matter. Glancing idly to make sure the safety was on, Yuri picked
the little snub-nose up and stroked fingers across the smooth silvery
metal, almost petting the weapon that had so many hours of Kei's life in
it. With a tiny sigh, she set it on her bedside table, then turned back
to the locker's other contents. A few credit slips, what looked like a
polished stone from her home planet. Yuri was surprised to see a snow
globe nestled up against the corner, and recognized it as a souvenier
she had bought Kei on one of their first missions together. It was a
tacky little thing, and she'd bought it on a whim, and been rather hurt
when Kei had vowed to toss it out the nearest available porthole into
space the first chance she got. Yuri had, of course, hidden her hurt,
and pretended that she had bought Kei the thing just to spite her.
Yuri opened a few more compartments, and was surprised again and
again to find the other little things she'd given Kei. A birthday card,
a little plush Mughi, some extremely saccharine scenery postcards. But it
was the last compartment that did it. It was filled with Still Images,
essentially like photographs of another era, images suspended in thin,
clear plastic. They were stacked atop one another, the one on top
being of a little redheaded girl, whom Yuri decided must be Kei, and
the people who must be... have been... her parents. Beneath that was a
picture of Kei at maybe thirteen, already with her forelocks dyed blonde,
wearing boxing shorts, a green sports bra, and with her hands and feet
wrapped. The young Kei had a bloody nose, a black eye, and one of the
biggest smiles Yuri had ever seen her with, most likely due to the large
trophy tucked into the crook of one arm. Another photo under that, of
graduation day, it looked like, Kei standing amidst a graduating class
even smaller than Yuri's had been. But it was the final one, tucked
away safely at the bottom, that finally broke her, as she lifted it in
shaking fingers.
After their first mission as partners, which was supposed to
have been a simple, low-profile thing, but which had turned into a
solar system-spanning breakout of chaos... as most of their missions
tended to. But once it was all over, a photographer had wanted to take a
simple picture of the agents standing next to one another. Yuri couldn't
remember, at all, what had started the argument... something inane.
'Quit trying to shove me over, Yuri!'
'I am NOT!'
'You're trying to get more photo space for yourself, you bimbo!'
'Bimbo?! I won't take that from someone with tie-dyed hair!'
'WHAT?!?!!'
The result was a picture of them both screaming at each other,
one of Yuri's hands tugging violently on Kei's shock of blonde hair,
while Kei was shoving against Yuri's head with one hand trying to push her
away. Yuri's fingers trailed over Kei's image, tears flowing unencumbered
down her cheeks for the first time in days.
"I'm sorry, Kei," Yuri whispered to the photo, her voice
starting to break. "I didn't mean it. I like your hair. I like your
face. You're so beautiful. And I love your voice, and the way you
talk. And I love the way you're determined, and won't give up, even
if it's just stubborness. And I love the way you don't take crap from
anyone. Especially from me." She smiled through her tears, as a sob
wracked her body. "And I love the way you try to make yourself better
than you are, instead of just backing down. I-I love the way that you
walk, and the way that you breathe... that you breathed... I... oh,
Keeeeeeeeeeeei..." Yuri fell forward, clutching the image to her
chest, wailing as her misery shook her entire being. "Please, Kei,
I'm sorryyyyyyyy... don't be dead, come back to meeeeee..."
Yuri lay on her bed, curled into a piteous fetal ball, still
clutching the image to her chest, her forlorn eyes gazing blankly at
the wall. Her long purple hair fell limply across the white sheets, no
longer shining with vibrance and health, but seeming as sorrowful and
lifeless as its possessor. Behind her, ignored, the monitor set in the
wall toned with an incoming call waiting to be picked up. After a few
minutes, the answering program clicked on.
*bzzzt* /Hi-eee! This is Yu-riiii, and I can't answer the vid
right now! But if you'll leave me your message right after the little
beep, I'll call you back! Promise!/ *bip*
/Yuri? Yuri, this is your mother, are you there?/
The 3WA agent didn't react at all, other than her pupils to contract
slightly due to the flickering light the vid cast on the wall.
/Yuri, I heard what happened... about your partner... um... and
we heard about the... what you said? Honey, please... call us... we're
worried about you. We'd like it if you'd come home for awhile... so we
can talk? Just... call us... or something... anything. We love you,
sweetheart./ *click*
The vid's light ceased, and Yuri's world was cast back into
a monotone of blue light... not that she'd have noticed if a troupe
of clowns had paraded in and started an orgy. Her entire world was
gone... the only remnants of it held tight against her breasts and laying
scattered in and around a footlocker beside her bed.
After she didn't know how long, the vid began toning again.
*bzzzt* /Hi-eee! This is Yu-riiii, and I can't answer the vid
right now! But if you'll leave me your message right after the little
beep, I'll call you back! Promise!/ *bip*
The 'soothing' tones of a computer-generated voice purred across
the vid speakers.
/Hello, Yuri. This is a fabulous opportunity for you to get all
your cosmetics free for an entire year! Our studies also show that your
friend Kei could benefit from this program. If you convince Kei to parti-/
*CHA-KOW!*
Yuri clicked the safety back onto the snub-nose, not caring that she
had picked up the notoriously temperamental weapon, undone the safety,
and fired a single shot that had hit the vid dead-on... all without
looking or even changing expression.
After the second day of laying there, not moving, Yuri felt
herself starting to go. Her head swam, her vision of the wall would
blur. Sometimes she would lose feeling in muscles that hadn't been moved
in too long.
Yuri smiled.
'I'll be with you soon, Kei... just wait for me.'
On the third day, her door toned, indicating that someone wanted
in. Yuri didn't care. She was almost there, she could feel it. Her
lips were cracked and bloody, and every breath burned like inhaling
fire. 'Just go away... let me go to her...' she thought distantly at
whoever was there. But after the fourth tone, it went silent... and,
a few minutes later, Yuri heard her front door hiss open. Fear welled
up in her. 'No... no, I've got to go to Kei!' She forced cramped
muscles to move, shaking fingers grabbing at the snub-nose blaster on
her nighstand. Her thrashings caused her to fall off the bed, but the
snub-nose fell with her. Managing to grab the gun, Yuri's shuddering
fingers worked, in a panic, to try and undo the safety. It wouldn't
take much aiming, if she could just get the end aimed vaguely in her
own direction...
"Yuri?"
The gun fell from limp fingers. Yuri's head snapped up, to the
protest of the muscles in her neck, her eyes wide. 'It can't be...'
And then, there she was, standing in the doorway, looking around
in puzzlement, before those green eyes were settling on her, blinking
in surprise and astonishment.
"Jesus Christ, Yuri, you look like hell."
"Kei," Yuri breathed. Suddenly, it was like the cramps and pain
had never been there. She FLEW to the door, flinging her arms around
the redhead and holding as tight as her malnourished form could, heaving
dry sobs. "Kei! Kei, you're alive, you're really alive!" Then she was
slamming her fists weakly against Kei's chest, still sobbing. "You
bitch! You inconsiderate bitch! I thought you were dead! I thought
you were-"
"Yuri!" Kei caught her partner's wrists in a gentle but firm
hold, and Yuri almost collapsed, crying. "Yuri, sssshhhh, c'mon... I'm
alive. I'm okay."
Yuri gulped, trying to get her sobs under enough control to speak,
looking up at Kei. "I thought you were dead... and I... I just couldn't
do anything... except think about how bad I treated you..."
"Well, I didn't exactly treat you like a buddy, either..." Kei
managed to get Yuri a little more upright. "Actually, it was you that
saved me. The way you sounded... well, I got in the escape pod when you
told me to get out of the ship. I thought if I acted like I was still
in there, though, it'd throw the criminals off... and, well, the 'oh,
fuck' was because I saw I wasn't gonna get far enough away to keep from
getting a bit of the explosion. It knocked out my comm and locator,
and the thrusters too... I had to stay out there for about five days
before someone noticed I wasn't just another piece of debris from the
colony ring. But as soon as they did, I grabbed the fastest transport
back here that I could."
"Y-you're really here..." Yuri finally smiled, slumping down a
little again. "You're really alive, and you came back."
"Hey, look, Yuri, I'd be the last to admit I'm not the brightest
star in the spiral arm... but I ain't dim either. I know I'll cash my
chips in one day... but you can't do this to yourself. Because if I
can, at all, I'm gonna come back. I'll come back and find you. So you
just have to keep that hope up... you have to take care of yourself,
and trust that I'll come back to you. Promise me?"
"O-okay... I promise..." A sudden thought came to her... a mixture
of excitement and fear trickling through her relief and happiness. "Kei...
before your comm got knocked out-"
"Sssshhhh." Kei put a finger to Yuri's lips, gently. "We gotta
get you taken care of, now, before you totally collapse. Yuri, the only
thing that needs to be said right now is this:
"I love you, too."
Love means that you're not seperated even by death. Love means
a trust deep in your soul that the one that you love will come back to
you. Somehow... in some way... you'll be together again. If the love is
real, if it's true... then that trust has to be there. You can't go to
them by hurting yourself, because when you hurt yourself, you hurt the
one you love.
When you began reading, the title of this fanfiction was 'Please
Come Back to Me'. Now that you've read it, I give you the true title.
'I Will Always Come Back to You.'
Back to Dirty Pair Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction