Angel of Light, Angel of Darkness
I guess it all started when I was eight. It started out as a simple
admiration, and then, six years later, it had turned into complete
longing.
Maybe I should start at the very beginning. It really started that
fateful school year, when my brother received the assignment to work
on a project with an older student.
He received her as his partner.
I remember it all quite clearly. Taichi had come home that day with
her, completely unconcerned about the assignment.
Oh, Taichi-kun, is this your girlfriend? Okaasan teased. I smiled
slightly, knowing that Okaasan already knew that she was his partner.
No. Taichi yawned, This is
whats your name again? Shazaki. she
had bowed politely, Shazaki Shinji. Well, its certainly a
pleasure to meet you. Okaasan smiled and reached out her hand. She
and Okaasan were almost the same height, Shinji being slightly taller.
I use free time I have sometimes to go over those few precious moments
I had to look at Shinji. She was extraordinarily tall and thin,
wearing clothes that showed her figure. Tight black jeans with a
normal-sized shirt that slightly showed her full chest
How I wish now that I had looked more closely.
And this is my imooto, Hikari-chan. Taichi waved his hand at me with
a smile, Hikari-chan, this is Shinji. I glanced from Taichi to
Shinji. She had a kind smile on her face, and held out her hand.
Its a pleasure to meet you, Hikari. she said. I half-dropped my
pencil and took her hand. Her fingers were incredibly long, and her
grip was strong. Her skin was light, not exactly pale, but appealing.
And when I looked at her eyes, I was completely captivated.
They were the deepest blue I had ever seen, and reminded me greatly of
an ocean just before the sun rose.
I watched as Taichi yawned again and led Shinji to his room, already
bored with the project. I now realize how grateful I was to have
little homework that night; I wouldnt be able to concentrate on much
else.
It was perhaps two hours before I saw Taichi or Shinji again. I was
unsuccessfully trying to read a book, when Okaasan asked me to bring
Shinji and Taichi a snack, to keep up their working energy.
I knocked nervously and opened the door. Taichi had dozed off a long
time ago on his part of our bunk-bed. Shinji was using the computer
to research the subject of the projectI cant remember what it was
anymoreand smiled at me.
"Arigato. she said in that soft tone that made me smile. Her voice
made me think of a soft breath of wind that rustled through the leaves
of a tree. What time do you have to go home? I asked on a complete
whim, Its getting pretty late.
It doesnt really matter when I go home, but I should be leaving
soon. she replied, brushing her brown bangs from her eyes, only to
have them fall right back. But wont your parents get worried? I
inquired. Her eyes flashedit looked like yellow fire had taken over
the blue of her eyes, literallyand she tensed.
My parents died about a year ago. she whispered. That of a
demonsa devilssuddenly replaced her kind voice and I jerked back.
They died in a car crash that I alone survived. the demonic voice
hissed. She brushed back her bangs and held them back, tapping a scar
that cut in a diagonal slash upon her forehead.
Shinji suddenly snarled angrily and stood up. Her hand flashed out
and something happened that I could barely register. The data was
saved from the website, and the window was closed before I could
realize it. Do not mention this again! she growled.
Then, brushing by me roughly, she opened the door, and simply left.
Her parents are dead? Okaasan asked me as she cooked the nights
dinner. I nodded dumbly, trying to understand how she had turned from
normal to a demon.
Oh! Okaasan suddenly jerked up, Now I remember! There was an
article in the paper about that crash! It only mentioned the crash
because her mother was a government official. How horrible.
I lay awake that night, thinking over everything I knew. Could I be
called rude, inconsiderate? I had no clue that her parents had died,
but she acted as if I knew.
I did not see her anymore. She never came over from then on, except
for once more. The next day, Taichi had come panting in, changing his
clothes quickly and popping out a floppy disc from the computer.
Working over at Shinjis house. he panted as he ran out the door
again. I looked beyond Taichi, and saw Shinji. Yellow fire burned in
her eyes as she looked at me with a dark scowl. Then, the door shut.
The years rolled by and we both grew. I never spoke another word to
Shinji, because she always seemed to avoid me. She and Taichi
received an A+ on the project, and I tried to learn everything I
could about her.
She was a smart student, but one that got in trouble very often. If
there was a flaw to her that others saw but I did not, was that she
had a vicious temper. The smallest thing could set her off, and she
often lashed out at others with words, but more often with violence.
I was amazed that she never got suspended or expelled.
I wanted desperately to see her. I cared nothing about her temper; I
only wanted to get to know the real Shinji.
Gods, I could be accused of having an obsession with Shinji. I
watched for her and stared as long as I could when I did see her. As
I matured into a young woman, fourteen-years-old as she had been when
I met her, I became more physically attracted to her, more deeply
drawn to her. But then I began to question myself and the choice I
had made.
Hikari, are you all right? Miyako asked me one day. I jumped at her
voice, leaping out of whatever fantasy I had been having. Hai, of
course. I replied, Just thinking. About Takeru? she teased. I
looked across the room at Takeru Takaishi, who was talking with his
friends. Takeru was possibly my best friend, but I had no attraction
to him.
Miyako gave up at my silence, and started to chatter with her
girl-friends. I turned my head back to my desk and closed my eyes,
slipping back into any fantasy that my mind would create.
I did not go home that night. I stayed out, contemplating my emotions
and slipping between reality and fantasies. A crack of thunder rolled
across the dark sky and I glanced at my wristwatch before it became
unreadable with the rainpast midnight for the gods sake.
Finally, weary of it all, I collapsed down onto a park bench. Being
yuri was wrong, wasnt it? Being in love with a person six years
older than me was wrong, wasnt it? Being in love with Shazaki Shinji
was wrong, wasnt it?
Come again?
I gasped and looked up. Oh gods
Shinji was standing right before
me, standing beneath an umbrella. I stared through the rain, a blush
burning upon my cheeks.
Suddenly, Shinjis hand shot out from her side and grabbed my arm. I
gasped again, but was unable to resist as she literally dragged me
from the bench and towards somewhere. It was if she had pressed her
fingers against a magic button on my arm that made me freeze up.
If I had been paying much attention, I would have noticed that she had
pulled me beneath the umbrella as well, but I was too distraught.
Suddenly, I was shoved into a chair and I looked up at Shinji once
more. But all I saw was her retreating back as she went off to
another room. I forced my eyes to the floor as I heard her dial a
number on the phone rapidly.
Hello, Yagami-san? she questioned. Oh gods, she was calling
Okaasan. Yes, this is Shazaki Shinji. Shinji said, Im calling to
say that your daughter will be staying here for the night. There was
a pause. No, shes perfectly all right. Shinji continued, Its
just very late and Im sure shes worn out. She looked it when I
found her in the park a little while ago.
There was another pause. Hikari is a responsible girl. I heard
Shinji speak again, but that devils voice was toning her words, She
will come back when she is ready. Tomorrow is Saturday, and she has
it off. Another pause. Yagami-san! she nearly shouted this time,
Hikari is tired and it is nearly impossible to see out on the road!
I will return her when she is ready to return! With that, she
slammed the phone down.
Shinji came back into the room, but I did not look at her. Hikari
she said slowly. I cringed and bent backwards. I feared her temper
now, and I realized that I had been talking to myself in the park; she
had heard everything.
Suddenly, she put her hand under my chin and forced me to look at her.
I nearly gasped, but shivered with cold. Her eyes were warm, caring
even. And then, she leant forwards and kissed me. I jumped in the
chair and almost tried to get away. Then it hit me.
The person I had been dreaming of for the past six years was kissing
me.
Was I asleep? Dreaming in my bed of something I wished for? The
warmth of her lips against mine was too real
this was real.
She pulled away and I felt as if my world had been dashed. And to
answer your previous question, love in its strongest moments can
destroy age differences and what other people may think. Shinji
whispered to me, I dont give a damn about what other people say.
How about you?
I stared at her. This twenty-year-old woman
she had stood up to my
mother for me
showing that she loved me after six painful years
I broke down and wrapped my arms around her, sobbing as if the world
was going to end. She merely smiled and chuckled slightly, hugging me
back.
To say the very least, that night was the best I ever had, or ever
will have.
I lay on my side, my hair still dripping wet from the shower the both
of us had just taken. I was more worn out then I had been an hour
ago. I shivered with restrained pleasure at the mere thought of what
we had done.
Hikari, when do you suppose youll want to go home? she asked
softly. My eyes shot open and I felt wide awake. How could she ask
such a thing? When do you want me to go? I asked bitterly. She
flopped down onto the bed, lying beside me.
Im only asking because I dont want you to ever leave my sight. she
wrapped her long arms around me and pulled me close, So, my beautiful
Angel of Light, when do you suppose your parents will be wanting you
back? I burst out into tears for the second time that night.
I was such a moron! How could I possibly think that she was so
unbearably selfish? Hikari, would you kindly stop babbling to
yourself? she chuckled softly, rubbing my back after turning me
around, You make yourself sound like a nutcase.
I blinked. I had been talking to myself again. I smiled and started
to cry again, snuggling my face into Shinjis chest, soaking the shirt
that she was wearing.
I was alone when I awoke many hours later. I slowly sat up, pushing
away the thick blanket that covered me. The rain was still pounding
down upon her house, and the storm seemed to only have gotten worse.
I looked around, but my lover was nowhere to be found.
Shinji? I called softly as I stepped into another room. A tiny wisp
of steam coming from a cup caught my eye and I looked at Shinji. She
was sitting at a table, staring out at nothing. A mug of coffee was
sitting before her, slowly steaming from the coldness of the room.
Good morning, Kari-chan. she smiled without looking at me, resting
her chin in her hand. I walked to the table and sat down in a chair
close to her. There was a long silence between us, and then I
giggled.
Whats with you? she grinned at me, I would expect that you would
be scared about facing your parents. I stopped giggling and
half-heartedly smiled. Well, I am. I admitted, Ive never been
more scared in my life.
Ah yes, the old nerves-eat-away-sanity thing. my lover snickered,
Thats what I love about you. Youre so damn cute. Her expression
turned to that of the expressly warm one when we first met and her
hand slipped over mine.
Hikari, I swear that you wont go through all that alone. she said
gently, Ill be right at your side, through everything. I swear. I
sniffed and wiped a tear from my eye. Gods, I had cried more within
the span of a few hours than I ever had during my life.
Cmon, lets go face the music. Shinji grinned at me.
My hands were shaking as I tried to unlock the door to the apartment I
still lived in with my family. Shinji put her hand over mine and I
finally fitted the key into the keyhole, unlatching the lock.
Koushiro! Shinji jumped in shock as we made our way into the
kitchen. I stared at the red-haired boy who was sitting at our table,
red-faced
And wearing Taichis goggles
Okaasan looked up from the table and saw Shinjis hand holding mine.
She leapt to her feet, screaming and tearing at her hair. GOOD
GODS! she cried, WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU MADE MY CHILDREN LIKE THIS?!
With that, she stomped off to her and Otousans room.
Um, whats with Okaasan? I asked. Taichi coughed and bent his head
low so I could only see his hair. The Koushiro boy turned an even
darker shade of red. There was a strange silence, and then Shinji
burst out laughing.
Koushiro! she had to lean on me slightly, Dont tell me that
Yagami-san walked in on you and Taichi! Koushiro blushed even more
and Shinji laughed harder. I blinked in utter confusion, and then I
blushed as well. Taichi! I squeaked, You and Koushiro
? Taichis
hair bounced up and down in what I guessed was a nod.
I nearly passed out. Shinji had to hold me up, still snickering.
Could we please leave? the Koushiro boy asked in a soft squeak.
I sat in sadness as Shinji drove Taichi, Koushiro, and I back to her
house. Okaasan didnt want this to happen
? A tear of sadness
slipped down my cheek as I turned towards the window. I didnt want
Shinji to see me weak for the tenth time.
Jyou and Yamato? I heard my lovers voice murmur, Now what would
they be doing at my house? I glanced up slightly to find two boys
standing drenched in the rain by the front door. Both had silly grins
on their faces, laughing slightly.
Now, what brings you all here? Shinji wondered. Jyou blushed
slightly with a grin, and Yamato laughed aloud. Taichi and Koushiro
had their foreheads against the table, and I was deep in my sadness.
Well, Jyou and I kinda got walked in on. Yamato laughed at his own
situation, Otousan just kind of stood there. Then, he kind of
grinned, and told me and Jyou-chan to go out for a while. What about
Taichi and Koushiro?
Same thing, only Yagami-san didnt take it as well as your Otousan
did. Shinji replied, seeing how Taichi and Koushiro were mute with
embarrassment. Oh, so you finally caught Hikari? Jyou blinked at me
and grinned at Shinji.
Shinji smiled and nodded, Found her in the rain, wondering if it was
wrong to love me. She looked around the group at the table, and then
said, Youre all free to stay here tonight. I only have one thing to
tell you. If youre going to do anything, keep the noise down.
I couldnt fall asleep that night. I lay awake, listening to the easy
breathing of my lover, who fell asleep quickly. Finally, unable to
stop from twisting and turning, I snuck out of ourherbed.
Hikari? I was stopped in mid-step in the kitchen. A light was on,
and someone was there. It was that Jyou person. So, what keeps you
awake? he questioned.
Uh
I murmured, unable to answer. Im only up because Yama-chan is
having a squeak-kick fit. Jyou smiled warmly, He does that
sometimes, and it literally hurts to sleep with him. I stood there,
looking down at the floor, feeling Jyous eyes piercing into me.
Youre having seconds thoughts? he questioned.
I looked up and into his black eyes. His eyes were hidden behind
glasses that looked good on him, but they showed through the clear
glass with a sharp intensity.
Wondering if it was just a one-night thing? Jyou asked. When I
didnt answer, he gestured to the chair across the table from him, and
I somewhat reluctantly sat. No
I replied to his second question,
I really love her, but
Jyou sighed slightly and murmured, Thats
good. She was close to a nervous breakdown.
Nani? I looked up fast. Hasnt she told you? Jyou asked gently,
stirring a small spoon in a cup of tea I didnt notice. A sudden
impulse struck me. Jyou-san, whats your relationship with Shinji?
I asked. Jyou blinked at me, and then chuckled.
Im not after Shinji, Hikari-chan. he smiled, Ive got Yama-chan.
I blinked down at the table for a while. I asked you because she and
I are best friends. Jyou muttered, We both told each other about our
little obsessions. I looked at him questioningly.
She, Koushiro, and I are good friends. he explained, We met at
Koushiros computer class, and just hung out from then on. We told
each other our deepest desires. For me, it was Yamato. For Koushiro,
Taichi. And for Shinji, she was deeply in love with you. The mere
mention of your name would draw her immediately.
I smiled slightly; it felt beautiful to know she really did love me.
So anyway, just a little while ago, maybe just a month, we had
another mini-meeting here. Jyou continued, Shinji was on the verge
of a nervous breakdown. She was worried that you didnt like her, how
your parents would feel, you know, the whole deal.
But I really do care about her! I insisted. She didnt know that.
Jyou took a sip of his tea, She thought you gave up on any type of
friendship or relationship when she had gotten mad at you six years
back. Hell, she was afraid that you didnt like yaoi or yuri people.
I looked down at my hands and felt tears nearing my eyes again.
Shinji constantly asked about you from Koushiro, considering that he
was Taichis guy. Jyou smiled, It made her feel happy when she
learned that you hadnt gotten any interest in anyone. Jyou, its
my parents. I cut in. Jyou blinked, and I continued, Im scared of
what my parents will say. Okaasans already gone nuts about Taichi
and I.
Jyou smiled at me and put his hand over mine. Hikari, believe me,
what Shinji has probably said about love is true. he said softly,
Love destroys adversity at its greatest. Shes not going to stop
loving you, no matter what you worry about or do.
Jyou-san
I said, at a loss for words, Arigato. And I hope that
you and Yamato are happy. He nodded at me and I stood to leave.
Oh, Hikari? he said just before I left the room. Hai? I replied.
Was she gentle with you? Jyou had a grin on his face. I blushed,
but replied firmly, Thats none of your damn business! I left the
room with an embarrassed smile, but happy again.
Hikari! Shinji leapt to her feet and darted over to me. I stared up
at her; she looked worried. Hikari, where were you? she asked
gently, I was spooked when you werent here. You got worried from
that? I asked in return. She wrapped her arms around me and held me
tight. Of course. she whispered, I love you, Hikari.
I love you too. I hugged her back tightly. I buried my face in her
chest and smiled, ready to go back and face my parents.
I dont know exactly what Taichi and Koushiro did that night, but they
too were ready to face their parents. Jyou and Yamato thanked my
lover for her hospitality, but said they were going to go back to
Yamatos place. Tai, Koushiro, Shinji, and I were going back to our
apartment, to face Taichi and my parents.
We did not go into the apartment immediately. It was still
frightening to think about having to face our parents. Hikari, Im
right here. Shinji took my hand and squeezed lightly, I wont let
your Okaasan do anything about this. I smiled, but my hand was
shaking still. I didnt want Okaasan to do anything about our
relationship.
Taichi unlocked the door, and the four of us went in. Okaasan was
standing in the middle of the kitchen, her arms crossed, her
expression foul.
Taichi. she snapped upon seeing us, Hikari. You two will stop
seeing these
pieces of trash and get a normal girlfriend and
boyfriend! Taichi grinned, but Okaasan turned on him and shouted,
THAT MEANS A GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU, TAICHI!
Kuso
Taichi whispered. I put my foot down angrily, stepping up
towards Okaasan, prying my hand free of Shinjis.
You aren't the queen of the world! I snapped, I can make my choices
about how my romance life goes! The hell you can! Okaasan stormed
up to me and stabbed me in the chest with her finger, staring down at
me, I will not allow you to do such a thing! I will ground you, I
will forbid you to speak to her, and I simply will not allow such a
thing to go on under my roof! That goes double for you, Taichi!
You cant put a barrier over the hearts emotions! I shouted in
reply, I love Shinji and you cant stop us from loving each other!
I WILL NOT ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO HANG AROUND, MUCH LESS CARE ABOUT
SUCH
SUCH
SUCH A WHORE!! Okaasan screamed. I gasped as a dagger
plunged into my heart. Okaasan had just called my lover
A whore? Shinji growled, So Im a whore, am I?! YOU
She started
to storm forwards, but I tried to stop her. Shinji, please, stop I
started to beg.
YOU BITCH! my lover screamed, HOW DARE YOU TRY AND TRIFLE WITH THE
WAYS OF THE HEART?! YOU GODDAMN BITCH! AND THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER FOR
THE GODS SAKE! YOU SHOULD SUPPORT HER, NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST
HER! I was shaking with fright; Shinjis voice had shifted to that
horrible demons voice.
Shinji, please, stop! I tried desperately to stop her. But she was
ready to kill Okaasan for what she had said; both about her and the
relationship as well. I started to cry, unable to help myself. I
looked up at Shinji, and cringed at the yellow flashing behind her
eyes.
Shinji, please, if you really love me, stop! I pleaded, shaking with
fear. Shinjis lips parted slightly in shock, her eyes widening and
her irises shrinking. I sobbed and hugged her, still shaking, Please
stop
please
Shinji lowered her fists and looked at me, her face
shocked with horror.
Oh, Hikari! she pulled me close and I dragged her down to the floor
with me, shaking and sobbing. I merely snuggled my head against her
shoulder, crying loudly. Shinji glared up at Okaasan with the darkest
glare she could muster. Which, might I add, is a very dark glare
indeed.
It was a week later when the plan we came up with was set in motion.
I knelt down on one knee and sealed up the box carefully. I was sad,
but happy at the same moment.
If you need the scissors, theyre in the kitchen drawer. Okaasan
growled, turning away from my doorway. She bumped into Shinji and
scowled angrily before storming away.
Geez, your Okaasan really does hate me, doesnt she? Shinji smirked,
wiping sweat from her forehead. You haven't been using the steps,
have you? I asked. Shinji grinned in a catlike way and said,
Maaaaybe. I sighed slightly, but smiled.
I was going to live with Shinji. After much debatingyelling
mostlybetween Okaasan and Shinji, I was to live with Shinji. Period.
Taichi and Koushiro had made me stay in Taichis room for the entirety
of the thing.
Taichi had generally been kicked out, but he and Koushiro already had
their situation worked out. They were due out for college in a few
months, and they were chipping in for an apartment to live together
in.
Cmon, now, thats the last box. Shinji hooked her fingers beneath
the box and pulled up, standing up. I stood up as well and started
after her.
Okaasan stared at both of us as we came out of my room. Were
leaving, Yagami-san. my lover said quite curtly, If you have
anything meaningful to say to your daughter, I advise you say it now,
or
She grinned a fanged grin, Forever hold your peace. Okaasan
merely glared at her, and turned back to her cup of
I think it was
scotch.
Jyou waved at us and darted over with the umbrella. So is Taichi
done packing? he questioned. Nearly. Shinji replied, Here, give
Hikari the umbrella and take the box. Ill go help Taichi. Jyou
tossed the umbrella to me and took the box. Shinji rushed back
towards the stairs and vanished.
It was freezing cold from the April rain, but it was the day we had
decided to move out on. Besides, it was the only day we could rent
out a moving truck large enough for all five of us to use. Of course,
Shinji didnt have to use it because I was moving to her house. Jyou
and Yamato had decided it was better to move out so they could have a
bit of privacy.
I held the umbrella over the box, smiling broadly. This was so
incredibly wonderful. Koushiro took the box with Yamatos help and
the two loaded it into the truck. Jyou glanced around the corner of
the truck and spotted Taichi and Shinji running out towards us,
Taichis jacket over the box.
Thats it. Taichi panted, Now all we have to do is get moving to
our new pads! Hey, you guys do know that two of us will have to sit
in the back. Koushiro took Taichis hand in getting down from the
truck, Theres only room for four in the front. Shinji and Ill
take the back. I immediately said.
Whoa. Yamato said. I thought you were going to say that! Taichi
laughed, slapping Shinji on the shoulder. Thats fine with me, as
long as Jyou drives. my lover shrugged. The four boys grinned at us
and clambered up front. Shinji took my hands and helped me up, and
then leapt up as well. She slid the door shut as whoever was driving
started up the truck.
I clicked on a small flashlight and looked over towards my lover. She
was about to say something, when a sharp lurch of the truck threw her
over a large pile of boxes, nearly tossing me to the floor as well.
Dammit, Taichi! she hissed. With that, she stood up and slammed her
fist against the wall that connected to the front and shouted, I TOLD
JYOU TO DRIVE, NOT YOU, TAICHI! There was howling laughter, and then
Jyou took the wheel.
Shinji
can I ask you something? I murmured. Sure. she replied,
rubbing the back of her head with a calm look. Why did you call me
your Angel of Light our first night together? I questioned meekly.
Its a pet name, Light Angel. she smirked and walked over. She sat
next to me on another box and tapped my nose, chuckling. But why
call me that? I continued.
Well, I just used your name. Shinji pulled me onto her lap and
hugged me, Hikari means light, so I used it. And Angel? I slid my
arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. Because
youre the Angel that kept me from absolute depression. she
whispered.
My jaw dropped. I wasnt happy at all after my parents died. she
continued, And I thought I had no hope for any other person loving
me, since I was yuri. No boys appealed to me, and all the girls I
knew where idiotic, fashion-obsessed nutcases. She snickered
slightly and said, I should introduce you to Tachikawa Mimi. Shes
the very example of that.
So Im your Angel of Light? I smiled up at her. She smiled and
nodded, and then asked, So do you have a pet name for me, Light
Angel? I thought for a moment, and then replied, Tenshi no yami.
She looked confused, but pleased. Angel of Darkness? Shinji asked,
Thats cute, but might I ask the meaning of it? Because youre my
Angel. I replied, An Angel that came from the Darkness to meet me.
She slid her finger under my chin and made me look at her. I smiled
slightly as she kissed me.
Ah, how tender! Taichis voice howled with laughter. I abruptly
pulled away and found that we had stopped, and the boys had opened the
door. Taichi and Yamato were howling with laughter, and Koushiro was
trying to make them stop. Shinji took the flashlight out of my hand
and threw it towards them, snapping, Shut it! The large flashlight
collided with Taichi and Yamatos heads and they fell over backwards,
their eyes spinning.
Cmon, weve stopped at your place first. Jyou waved his hand out
towards the area outside the truck, Taichi and Koushiro are last,
since Koushiro rented the truck. Shinji stood me up and jumped out
of the truck. It had stopped raining, and the sun was starting to
shine.
Cmon, Light Angel. she grinned. I walked to the edge of the truck
and paused. Its not like Im going to let you jump without catching
you. she held out her arms encouragingly. I smiled, and literally
leapt into her arms.
Shinji hugged me, laughing slightly with happiness. I smiled too.
This was going to be perfectly wonderful.
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