Author's note: Rated for language, subject matter later on, and just in case anything else comes up in this series that I have to cover myself for. This is a comedy, so turn your brains off, sit back, and relax. And yes, I stole the idea of the different earths vibrating at different speeds from pre-Crisis DC continuity. ------ The lab was in ruins. Priss and Linna were both breathing heavily as Sylia was looking at what was left of the Trans-Dimensional Oscillator. In the explosion of one of the combat boomers, Professor Kobayashi was killed and the machine was gravely damaged. "Priss, Linna, help me pick this up." She said, as she began gathering up the larger pieces of the weapons. "Where did that bastard send Nene?" Priss asked. "I don't know. The only thing we can do is try to repair this thing and see if we can use it to get her back." "Poor Nene." Linna said, "I hope she's all right." ------ "Where am I?" "You're at the first meeting of the Cromartie High School Anime Club. I'm the club president, Takashi Hokuto." "High school?" she asked, looking around the room at the young thugs smoking cigarettes. "Hey, shouldn't we have someone taking down the minutes?" Shinjiro asked. "Okay, I nominate you." Takashi said. "What have you got so far?" "Eight minutes since we started." Everyone in the room, Nene included, rolled their eyes at that. "Wow, where did you come from?" Hokuto's lackey, staying in the room after his boss left, asked. "And where'd you get that cool-assed Nene Romanova costume?" "What?" She asked. "Yeah, that's one of the best Knight Saber cosplay outfits I've ever seen." Akira chimed in. Nene was shocked. These grubby looking kids knew she was a Knight Saber, and recognized the suit as being her's. "Hold on a minute," Yutaka broke in, "This smells fishy. How do we know this isn't someone from another school trying to make chumps of us?" "I think it's obvious from her reaction to finding herself here that she isn't here by choice." Mechazawa said. "I don't think that was some lighting effect." "You mean, you think she's for real?" Shinjiro asked. "Wow, a real live anime hero! We're going to win this contest for sure!" "Hey! Hello! I'm standing right here in the room! And I don't want to enter any contest; I just want to go home!" "Very well! As president of the Cromartie High School Anime Club, I promise you we'll..." "Wait a minute," Hokuto's lackey spoke up, "If you're the real Nene Romanova, I've got a question for you." He then walked up to her and whispered something into the side of her helmet. Nene blushed furiously. "What?" she shrieked, unable to fathom somebody asking such a personal question. "Well, come on... She always says she's going off to see a boyfriend, yet never brings any around? And she seems too get along pretty well with Priss, if you catch my drift." "You've been reading too many hentai sites!" Shinjiro chimed in. "Besides, everyone knows Priss and Sylvie were a couple. If Linna did swing that way, she'd probably have gone after that Vision chick." Before Nene could even try to respond, Mechazawa interrupted the debate going on about her friends' love lives. "We've got a problem, guys. She's a girl, and this is a boy's school. She can't stay here." "Hmm... We're going to need a place she can stay and a male school uniform for her." Shinjiro said. "And I think I know where we can get both." "Why couldn't it be Priss?" Yutaka asked, "She's way cooler than Nene." "You're doing it again! Stop talking about me as if I'm not in the room!" Nene yelled. ------ "Get out of my house!" "Oh, come on Maeda," Takashi pleaded, "we just need a place to temporarily stow away an anime character that's accidentally been transported here and her body armor..." "Hardsuit." Nene corrected. "Hardsuit. What's the worst that can happen?" "What's the worst that can happen? Suppose the Dark Lord comes looking for her?" Everyine in the room gave Maeda a bank stare. "There is no 'Dark Lord' in Bubblegum Crisis!" Yutaka said. "Well, what's my mother going to say, me having a girl staying over here? And why should I help you guys out? You never help me when I'm kidnapped by the other schools! Hey, what're you doing with my school uniform?" "Relax, she needs a disguise." Shinjiro said. "Then give her your uniform! I..." "Um, Maeda, is it?" Nene broke in. She was carrying a very large package wrapped in brown shipping paper containing her hardsuit. "I know this is all a bit weird. Heck, think of how I feel. One minute I'm with my friends fighting boomers, the next I'm in a high school classroom surrounded by roughnecks, gorillas, and a giant muscleman with no shirt on." "I know, but..." "I promise I won't be any problem. Please?" She asked, using her most kawaii smile. "Oh all right. Go change in there." A short time later, Nene came out wearing a male school uniform obviously too big for her. "This is stupid! No one's going to believe I'm a boy." She said, holding her pants up with her hand. The uniform did absolutely nothing to hide her curves, and her hair was still hanging down to her shoulders. "You're right." Takashi said, "It needs something..." Freddy got up from where he was sitting on Maeda's couch, walked over to Nene, and pulled a black magic marker out of his pocket. He proceeded to very quickly draw a Groucho Marx mustache on her face. "Perfect!" the group shouted. Nene rolled her eyes. ------ "Damn, Sylia, what are you trying to do to me?" Dr. Raven asked, looking at the partially restored Trans-Dimensional Oscillator in front of him. "First you let that lunatic over there smash up my bikes..." "Hey!" Priss shouted. "... and now you give me this jigsaw puzzle to try and make sense of." "Dr. Raven, please, isn't there anything you can figure out about it?" Sylia asked, a bit of concern showing in her usually cool voice. "Yeah, come on, Pops. You're our only hope of getting the little brat back." "Don't call me 'Pops!' And so far the only thing I've been able to figure out is that it works by vibrational frequency." "Vibrational frequency?" Linna asked. Priss rolled her eyes, knowing both she and Linna were about to be left behind as Sylia and Dr. Raven began talking technobable. Dr. Raven began to explain, "Apparently, the different universes are kept apart by the fact that each vibrates at a different rate and intensity." "Which would mean," Sylia interrupted, "that thing caused her to vibrate out of this universe?" "Exactly." "Wait a second." Linna broke in, "Between the research needed to come up with the basic theory behind such a weapon, let alone building the stupid thing, this had to have cost Genom way more than any of the damage we ever inflicted on them. This doesn't make sense. It's overkill. Why spend that much money on such a device instead of simply unleashing an army of combat boomers and Dobermans on us?" "Don't ask me," Dr. Raven replied, "I'm still trying to figure out why the hell they'd make a group of sex toys like the sexaroids capable of synchronizing with advanced weapons systems." ------ Nene had made it through a whole day of classes at Cromartie High, staying as close to Takashi and Shinjiro as possible. She wasn't sure what was more shocking; the completely inappropriate questions the members of the anime club kept asking her, or the fact that a crudely drawn Groucho mustache was actually managing to fool all the other students. "Good grief, how stupid are these morons?" she thought to herself. As if in answer to the unspoken question, she now looked upon the contraption the club members had made to try to help her get home. It was a lawn chair with bottle rockets duck taped to the back of it, sitting roughly thirty feet from two trees. A crude catapult, consisting of old car tires, bungee cords and some bras belonging to Maeda's mom, was stretched tightly from the trees to behind the chair, and Freddy was holding a knife to cut the trigger when the signal was given. "Um... I really appreciate the... effort, but how is this supposed to help me get home?" She asked. "I was wondering that myself." Mechazawa said. "Look, it's simple," Shinjiro began, "Yutaka, sit here and pretend you're Nene." The huge bald headed kid squeezed into the chair reluctantly. "This chair will be launched into the air when I say 'okay' and Freddy cuts the release, then the rockets will fire, and hopefully it'll shoot you straight home." Shinjiro explained. Nene looked at him, shaking her head. It was the single stupidest idea she'd ever heard in her life. Even Wile E. Coyote wouldn't touch this one with a ten foot pole. "Okay guys. Again, 'A' for effort, but this isn't going to help me get home." "You sure?" Takashi asked. "Yeah, very sure." "Hey," Yutaka spoke up, "can one of you help me out of this chair?" "Okay." Shinjiro said. "I'll..." Before Shinjiro could continue though, Freddy, hearing the 'okay' from Shinjiro, cut the cord, launching Yutaka (who had a problem with motion sickness to begin with) into the air. "No! Oh shi..." Yutaka was cut off by the firing of the bottle rockets. While he didn't break any dimensional barriers, he did manage to land in a muddy pond some fifty feet away. This was a lucky break, since it helped to put out his now smoldering uniform. Nene looked on in shock. "Well, she was right." Takashi said, looking on as the badly shaken Yutaka slowly crawled out of the pond. "Yeah, but it was still pretty cool though." Shinjiro said.
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