Understanding
There's a knock at my door and I push my homework away. At last, a
break... "Come in."
I'm surprised when Sakura comes in. Surprised enough that I'm rooted to
my chair. "Sakura-chan? I didn't know you would be... I mean, no one
let me know you're here."
She doesn't meet my gaze as she closes the door. When she looks up,
she's practically biting her lip. "To... Tomoyo..."
I get up, shock gone, to move to her. "Are you all right?" I ask, even
though I'm sure she's not. Something is wrong, very, very wrong...
She looks up at me, green eyes miserable and damp with unshed tears.
"Sakura..." I act without thought, pulling her into a hug. "What's
wrong?"
"It's... I..." she clings to me, and whimpers, reminding me of a
kitten. "Syaoran..."
"Li? Did he do..."
She shakes her head, hair tickling my cheek. "He didn't do anything...
oh... Tomoyo-chan... he's been so understanding..."
I put her at arm's length, and wipe at the tears that have started to
trickle down her cheeks, reminding me of a leaky faucet. "Sakura-chan,
then what is it?"
She sniffles, and wipes weakly at her eyes. "Can we sit down?"
I nod, and she plops down onto my bed, wringing her hands nervously. I
sit down as well, near her but not too close. And I just want to hold
her... "All right," she takes a deep breath, and then laughs. "This has
to look pretty bad... I mean, I'm crying... I..."
"Don't worry," I reply with a smile, handing her a tissue from my
bedside table, "just take your time and..."
Sakura smiles, "You're amazing, Tomoyo."
I can't help but blush. "No, I'm not, Sakura-chan. I'm just doing what
any friend would do..."
And she's silent after that, dabbing at her cheeks. "I... it's just..."
"Yes?" I urge softly.
Sakura smiles again, and then closes her eyes. "I know I wasn't in love
with him from the start. I mean, really, we were rivals -- on different
sides, I know... but things changed... slowly, but surely... He was
stable, at least... I mean, personality wise. And then I knew I loved
him and he loved me and... and... and he had to go..."
I don't urge her this time, I just let her speak.
"But he came back, Tomoyo. And... then... I... I thought he and I...
would... live happily ever after. You know... a little house with a
garden and children and... and... I liked my dream... but..." She blows
her nose and I offer her another tissue. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
She sniffles more. "But... I..." And she takes a deep breath, here, and
blinks twice. "I'm not in love with him."
I couldn't have just heard that. "What?" I sounded rather weak in that,
I notice...
"I'm not... he... he's a great friend... and I don't ever want to lose
him... but... he's the one who pointed it out. When he kissed me...
it... just... wasn't right." She wrings her hands more.
"Sakura-chan..."
"I... was terrified... he'd hate me... but he... just thinks I
should... oh Tomoyo..." she breaks down again, and I pull her into a
hug.
"Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan, it's all right... just cry... you're allowed
to cry..."
She clings onto me again, whispering things I can't make out over her
tears. I just want to take her pain away... and it seems so real... so
*there*... I just want you to be happy, Sakura... so cry on my
shoulder, if that's what you need...
"You're always here for me... Tomoyo... oh... you..." she sniffles and
I hold onto her.
"I'm just doing what any friend would do..."
"No," she replies, and I feel her bold lips on my cheeks. "I've ignored
you for so long, Tomoyo... what you really felt..."
I'm shocked, to say the least. "I..."
"You can't deny it... I know you love me..."
I feel weak, and small. "Of course I love you, Sakura-chan... I always
have..."
She kisses my cheek, and I look up to her. Wet cheeks, but a smile on
her lips. "I love you too, you know. You've always been there... and I
never want to let go."
And she falls into my arms, and we fall back onto the bed... this is
what she meant, by his understanding... he sent her willingly to me...
knowing...
"Sakura-chan..."
She's warm resting atop me, and I wind my arms around her. "I love
you."
"You too, Tomoyo-chan..."
And her lips on mine light the world on fire.
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