It’s time to go out and face the music. The band’s done with tuning their instruments and programming whatever electronics they got ready. My microphone’s set. It’s time to sing too, I remind myself. With a breath I take I set my mind to the task –what’s with me?! I never view singing as a task… why now?-, and pause. In happier times, like childhood can be every now and then, that brunette mistress o’mine would sneak backstage to wish me luck. Though she actually got me in some occasions more nervous, the sheer fact that she’d be aside my mother the one mostly attentive and applauding during the whole recital was enough stimulation for me. Thinking of this has made me stop and wait. Wait for her utopian arrival. Wait, wait. And she finally came. - Good luck out there, though you needn’t any, miss “Best artist I’ve known”! - Ummm… Arigato, miss “Best captain of the Cheerleading Squad”. I ignore why I can’t sound warm or familiar with her suddenly. Nicknames are supposed to— Goddess! She’s a sight to behold right now! The only thing off-setting her beauty is the slight darkness in her look. - I just wanted you to know that- that whatever happens I’ll be here for you… Waiting for you. Sakura-chan, I… No time there to say anything. She quickly turned and ran to get to her seat. And I still can’t understand what she meant. Why despite that she held a party for me a few nights ago she hasn’t since spoken much more than a scarce number of phrases. She’s been… as if keeping to herself. Just like I do whenever I’m preparing something for others. Secretive. Transforming into the sneakiest of characters. Yet all for the love of those who I cherish. What could she be up to? “.. please give a well deserved round of applause to this great band- Kirei na Azure!!!” My cue. Must go immediately and get this over with. My last concert. ------------------ parenthesis – Whispering At The Foot Of The Staircase - So it’s going to be your last concert?- she asked with a curious note playing in her voice, yet with her emerald eyes glued to the ground. - Yes.- I honestly had nothing else to answer her, and her attitude was from awhile back throwing me off. I mean, how did she find out about New York? And was she really comfortable with Syaoran-kun leaving? I was staring at her with a studious yet mildly alarmed intensity, my chin propped up by my hand. Hey… can I go watch you? Huh? Can I go watch you? It’s in the same bar I’ve known throughout the years, right? Yeah, of course you can! You’ve gone to all my presentations for so long that I cannot somehow conceive an audience without you being there… Ah jeez! I opened my mouth too soon! And she’s quite aware of this as well, because now the same intensity with which she had her eyes linked to the ground is being applied mercilessly to me. She has a small, discreet grin, to add. It’ll be grand if you come, Sakura. I suppose the same too, Tomoyo… As she said this she took my hand among hers, and grasped it tight. A sad smile crept upon her lips and a small kitty like sigh breathed out from them. It’s that art school offer in New York the one you’re taking? Right? Umm- Yes! I finally decided on my future like you advised me once. I had to- make up my mind… grab a choice. No matter how much I love music, and filming, it’s painting where my dreams rise and skyrocket… Heavens! If it weren’t for your comment on my paintings months back I would’ve never settled on anything! Nervously I put my free hand over hers, and held them a bit too steady, a bit too afraid to squeeze them until our bones and blood were one as in my reverie to myself I fantasize. The odd sadness overtaking my sweet normally energetic and optimistic girl made itself quite more obvious when she turned away and diminished her grip’s strength. I’m- I’m glad I made something like that happen for you. It’s a pity that all this time I haven’t been able to do much for you, Tomoyo-chan. She really puzzles me. I have nothing to say, but I can’t bear her gloom expression. I want, love to see her happy, above all, and as in my self-imposed duty, I take advantage of the song playing in the stereo, and offer her a few verses in my lowest yet earnest tone: Sometimes, sometimes the melody of me dreams with your cheeriness… Sometimes, sometimes out of the blue I dream that I fall with you… Sakura has softened her gorgeous facial emeralds, and has even turned to look at my stormy blue. I receive this as a good response and continue: Sometimes, sometimes the melody of me dreams with your cheeriness, Like in those nights in which my hand only excuses finds to write… What I want to say, love- Is that I’ve been so happy by your side. In an instant our roles have switched- she, with that single sang line, her hands taking my own so tightly and close to her chest, and the ever growing intensity in her eyes has unsettled me. She tried as all her intellect could to find an answer, something, anything, to say. But what did Sakura tried to imply? - There! Every song you’ve rendered night after night, day after day, since I met you I’ve learned by memory too.-. If she took a pause ever so slight it was just to add- See that I’m your greatest fan and therefore can’t bear to miss being there tomorrow? The light brunette gave a wide childish grin to accompany her statement, and gave a loud childish giggle. She let go of Daidouji Tomoyo’s hands and rose from the wooden step. - Are you going to sit there all night and not join the fun? C’mon! Rika and the others must be anxious. Tomoyo looked at her sleeves as if they were the most interesting thing in the world, she straightened her blue velvet jacket a bit and followed suit. Yes, be as sociable and earnest with others as she could, though with a thought circling her like a shark to a future prey. What- what’s going on, Sakura-chan? A whisper of a song came to her lips, the only response she could give in self defense to that shark… I'll drown my beliefs… --------------------------------- … To have you be in peace… She, Daidouji Tomoyo, lead singer for the Kirei na Azure band, has started to swell and break apart to new heights of well known human emotions with a song everyone in the crowd stood mesmerized at, even a group of her school friends y and fan club that usually accompanied screaming atop their lungs all her interpretations. Yet her lighting blue stare was not really engaging them. Her perfect porcelaine face might be directed at the front, but with a second of consideration anyone might have known since the beginning that this song had a special dedication implicite in its lyrics, in its music. For she had said before starting it, in a simplicity that hinted at its special meaning: “This is a song that nobody’s heard before… at least in this club”. With an equally simple gesture she sat at the piano and her long quicksilver fingers worked up a conjure with its keys. Only I, amid, all these people have noticed this. That she’s playing with an earnestness and urgency as if t was her first time. That there’s someone in the crowd who hasn’t broken for one moment eye contact with her goddess figure and seems to be in much more knowledge of what Daidouji-san’s doing. That someone, of course, is me. Me, who from a few days back has started to see, smell, hear, feel things in a different light. Me, a well known high school cheerleader and less recognized but a competent mage. Me, who has slowly realized that the dreams of so long that I’ve ignored were the ones that were actually right. Me, who the Fates named Kinomoto Sakura. Me, who still is at awe with these things just mentioned. Yes, you heard right. I DID have dreams about this discovery, after all, Yume’s powers make those who come in contact with it have visions that, even if at times they borderline with sheer fantasy, also are predictions… … Or hidden truths as I now like to say. And True Love Waits… In haunted attics… I also like to express my agreement on that… Tomoyo-chan. I never break eye contact as I think these many things. Too many objects that hint at who I’ve been have resurfaced while helping Touya move, they have reminded me at what I really wanted, yearned. Some may be fragile at touch, yet they’re so beautiful,… … like you, Tomoyo-chan. They, YOU, are the true link to who I am now and who I can be. … Just, don’t leave… don’t leave… One hand of mine is clasped close to my heart. The other, holds this itsy bitsy card, inside a modest leather handbag at my left. Hopefully, my message will get to you. For, since the recent events, - … I’m not living… ------------------------ parenthesis 2 : The End Of The Music Of Yore… … I’m just killing time… Since when? A glance here and there to the audience. Since when? Nothing, no one, so far. Since when? Though I musn’t distract myself too much. Since when? The piano. The crowd. The song. They’re priorities right now. Since when? I know she’s there. Witnessing, yet not hearing. Or is she? Since when? Since the sweat started making its slow yet sure way across her pale forehead she feels she’s lost focus on the people tonight here, on the exceptional performance her bandmates are conjuring as well, and even on the bartender’s small niece who’s right by the side of the stage ready with a bottle of water and a much needed towel. Her eyes close. She must concentrate now. Yet her heart starts taking over, replacing her real world sight with forelorn dreams, iron-shackled illusions- a child with honey-tinted hair walking past her, a bunny head shaped eraser smiling up towards her from her own hand, a needle working with love-woven threads the fabric of her dream, her dream fighting against a giant teddy bear, her dream on a winged staff, herself flying with her, her dream with true angel wings, her dream changing… Blooming! Blooming into an athletic, popular, charismatic, kind- beautiful! Beautiful young girl. A girl that could well be reasonable as also thick-headed, a girl who could hold her own as also depend on others if needed, a girl who could do the stuff of the dreams of many and did not regard herself as superior to others. … Your tiny hands… She knew that her own hands were longer, softer than that young girl’s could ever be, yet the touch of them in a handshake, a handhold, a slight fleeting caress, was all she required to satisfy the appetites of her fantasies. To feed the dream. Feed the dream on dreams. She begins to sing her heart out. Voicing her longings, picturing her surroundings, Yuto, Tsuwabuki, Fukuy, the crowd, her friends, her dream, through the harmonious echoes of music and singing. For a moment she opens her eyes again, the shimmering stormy blue pale a bit under the intense white stage lights, part of which is the climax of her passionate performance, part in surprise… For the flooding of longing laced images became suddenly overwhelming. She could feel it. Her lips burning. Her eyes burning. … Your crazy kiss and smile… Her body and soul on fire. She was being held by her dream, amidst the cloudy shrouding of dreams. Her mind was reeling, to extinguish that fire. She was now crying. Crying on the shoulder of her dream. - I love you. - What? - I love you, and please forgive me by not noticing our to-be fulfilled dream. - But… but you’re a dream! Just that! - Just that? I want to be more than that. Whatever you want, NEED, to live, smile, laugh… be all you can be. - You’ve- you’ve always been a dream to me. A dream with many dreamers, all breathing, eating, working to reach you… and I just took retreat to sigh my soul out away from your sight. I’m- - Nothing compared to those fighting knights? Don’t you think it’s up to me to decide to whom I give my heart to? It’s blurring unexpectedly. Two warm arms of a river spill down the white rubble face. … Just… Don’t leave… Don’t leave… I murmur in a crackling voice. … Don’t leave… Don’t leave… She holds me even closer. She now sings to lead me back to the real world, to her longings and aspirations, to appease me. To make me smile and open my tear-filled eyes toward her persona. For there in the silent yet profoundly moved crowd, her dream stands, holding out for her to see a light pink card with a star emblem, and her Eden-Garden eyes rain light and water of pure love. Sakura-chan… Tomoyo-chan… The final strike of the alabaster fingers to the ivory and ebony keys. The performance has ended. With a swiftness she didn’t know herself capable of, Daidouji Tomoyo leaves the stage. Despite her efforts, her legs cannot match the furious pounding of her principle. Sakura-chan… Tomoyo-chan… She runs and almost crashes into her. Kinomoto Sakura. They embrace. Both in tears yet smiling. Sakura. Tomoyo. The waiting has stopped. The dream and the dreamer have finally merged in the real world. --------------- Author’s Notes: Whew! That was a tough fanfic to write! But I’m glad I finished. About the songs, they’re listed in order of appearance: 1.- “True Love Waits”, written and performed by the British band Radiohead. 2.- “Love’s A Bitch (Tell me since when did this begin to hurt…)”, a translation of “Amores Perros (Dime Cuándo Comenzó el Dolor)”, written and performed by the Mexican artist Ely Guerra. 3.- “I’ve Been So Happy With You”, a translation of “He Sido Tan Feliz Contigo”, written and performed by the Spanish artist Alejandro Sanz. In the final chapters I use the first and last songs above mentioned. If interested in a complete translation of the lyrics for the Spanish songs, please e-mail me. >^_^<
Back to True Love Waits (in itsy bitsy pieces) Index - Back to Card Captor Sakura Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction