Ren'ai Yuugi
Sakura...Daisuki...
As I sit in class my mind wonders off. I find that all I can think
about now is her. I simply write her name over and over again. It's a
beautiful name. It suits her. Next week we'll be graduating and she'll
be leaving me to go away to college. Although she still doesn't know my
feelings for her, I've still never been apart from her before. How can
I live apart from her? Perhaps I do love her too much. But she'll never
feel the same...
Tomoyo's thoughts were interrupted by the last bell going off indicating
school was over for the day. A single tear escaped from her eye as she
grabbed her books. Sakura looked at her best friend with confusion as
she noticed the sadness in her eyes. She chased after Tomoyo and took
hold of her arm stopping her.
"What's going on Tomoyo? Why are you so sad lately?" Sakura asked her
friend without hesitation. Tomoyo put forth a smile and denied anything
was wrong. She just claimed something was in her eye back in class.
Sakura knew better than that but decided not to push it.
"Sakura, did you want to come over for dinner tonight? There's
something I've been meaning to talk to you about for quite a while now
and haven't had the chance." Tomoyo asked sounding cheerful
once again. In reality she had never been so scared in all her life.
"Yeah. I'll be there around six if that's okay. I still have a little
packing I'd like to get done at home." Sakura told her best friend.
Tomoyo agreed and the two went their separate way.
The whole way home Tomoyo was in a panic. "Am I really going to tell
her tonight? What if she hates me? What have I gotten myself into?"
When Tomoyo reached her house the first thing she did was collapse on
her bed and ponder how to go about telling Sakura her true feelings.
When six o'clock came she still had no clue what to say to Sakura. She
heard the doorbell and jumped off her bed. "Of all the times for her to
be on time, why can't she be late like usual?" Tomoyo thought as she
went to the front door.
"Konban wa, Tomoyo" Sakura smiled as Tomoyo opened the door for her. As
Sakura entered Tomoyo's house Tomoyo led Sakura up to her bedroom. The
two sat down at a table in Tomoyo's room and Tomoyo's face became
serious.
"Sakura," Tomoyo began to speak trying to get this over with as soon as
possible. "When we were little there was something I told you that I'd
tell you again when we were older." Tomoyo paused looking at her
friend. "Actually, I've told you this a million times, but you've still
never gotten the real meaning of it. You see Sakura, I... I love you."
Sakura started to say something but Tomoyo stopped her. "Yes, I know
you love me too Sakura. You are my best friend. But you see, I'm in
love with you." Tomoyo finished trying to hold back the tears that
threatened her eyes.
Sakura looked at Tomoyo with wide eyes as her words sunk in. What could
she possibly say at a time like this? "I know you probably hate me now
Sakura, but I figured I might as well tell you before you left for
college. I hope one day you will forgive me though."
"No, Tomoyo. I don't hate you. You'll always be my best friend forever.
Who else will I turn to if not you? I don't share your feelings, I'm
sorry. But I always want to be your friend." Sakura hugged her best
friend and Tomoyo cried on her shoulder. A few minutes later they broke
their embrace and Tomoyo apologized for crying so much. "Don't worry
Tomoyo, I wont ever think any less of you. I just think right now I
need to be alone for a while and think about this if you don't mind."
"It's okay for you to leave. I guess I'll just see you at school
tomorrow then?" Sakura nodded and headed out of Tomoyo's house. As she
was walking down the street she looked back at Tomoyo's house. "Gomen
ne Tomoyo. I just don't love you like that...Do I?" Sakura thought
suddenly not sure of her feelings towards her best friend. "Hoee!!"
Sakura exclaimed.
____________
That night Sakura found it impossible to sleep. She had a million
emotions running through her mind. "Tomoyo has always been there for
me. She is the one who I've always turned to. I can depend on her for
everything. She is beautiful. But is this that kind of love? Can I
possibly love her like that?"
Sakura stared at her phone. Her hands unconsciously reached for it and
started dialing Tomoyo's number. She had no clue what she was doing but
decided not to hang the phone up. When she heard Tomoyo's voice on the
other line she became frozen and unable to speak. Finally she snapped
out of it. "Gomen Tomoyo. I didn't mean to call so late, but I couldn't
sleep."
"Daijoubu Sakura. I couldn't sleep either. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine I guess. Just a little confused. It's weird though.
I've always come to you with all my problems, without you who would I
have to talk to? But this is something that I can't come to you about.
That I need to figure out on my own."
"Figure out?" Tomoyo asked. "I thought you said you were okay with..my
feelings," she trailed off scared of what may happen between them.
"I am fine with how you feel. It's just that.." Sakura paused for a
moment. She didn't know if she should tell Tomoyo she thought she might
be in love with her too. What if she decided she wasn't? That would
crush Tomoyo and she never wanted to hurt the girl.
"Just what?" Tomoyo questioned.
"Never mind," Sakura said trying to laugh it off. "I know it's really
late, but can you meet me at the park? This would be easier in person I
think."
"Yeah, I'll be there in a half hour." Tomoyo said still confused.
"Arigatou. Ja na." Sakura said hanging up the phone.
___________
Tomoyo arrived at the park exactly a half hour later and found Sakura
sitting near King Penguin. Sakura noticed her and invited her to sit
down next to her. "Remember when we were little, how we'd come play
here almost every day?" Sakura asked Tomoyo.
"Yeah. It was nice when we were little."
"Have you always been in love with me?" Sakura caught Tomoyo by surprise
and Tomoyo didn't quite know what to say.
"Yes. Ever since we were little I have been in love with you. That's why
I always video taped you. I know you thought I was weird following you
around all the time with the camera. But I wanted to have as many
memories of you as possible. Because I knew someday you'd leave me like
you are next week after graduation." Tomoyo stared off into the sky
looking at the stars not daring to look at Sakura's face. She knew if
she did she'd probably start crying again.
"Have I caused you a lot of hurt?" Sakura stunned Tomoyo again.
"No, you haven't. Sometimes it was frustrating because you didn't
understand my feelings but you never hurt me."
"If I never hurt you, why is it so hard for you to keep from crying.
I've caused you to cry. I'm sorry." Sakura took Tomoyo's hand into her
own causing Tomoyo to finally look at her. "I want to make it up to
you."
Tomoyo just gave her friend a confused look. She wasn't quite sure what
was going on anymore. Sakura seemed different now. More grown up. "What
do you mean?"
"You see. I think, I'm not sure, but I think I'm in love with you too
Tomoyo. I'm just not exactly sure yet." Tomoyo was out of words. Never
had she expected to hear that she may actually have a chance with
Sakura. She dreamed of it plenty, but never thought it was possible.
"Can I stay with you tonight? I don't feel like being alone." Tomoyo
could only nod at Sakura's request.
As the two started on their way back to Tomoyo's house Sakura once
again took hold of Tomoyo's hand. Tomoyo still couldn't believe this
was happening and was still speechless. Sakura just looked at her and
smiled as the two walked back in silence.
_________
"Here," Tomoyo said to Sakura finally being able to speak again. "You
can wear this to bed if you like." Sakura took the clothes from her
friend and after the two had changed they got into Tomoyo's bed. "I'm
going to miss you when you leave Sakura," Tomoyo told her friend
suddenly shy about saying such things.
Sakura found Tomoyo's hand underneath the blankets and held onto it
again. "Its funny. I've held your hand so many times, but I've never
gotten butterflies in my stomach from it. It's never meant as much as
it does now. You see, I realized something while I was waiting for you
tonight. I love you Tomoyo. I love you the same way you love me. I was
just scared to admit it so I didn't say anything. But I want to be with
you. That's why I've decided not to go away to college. I'm going to
stay here for college so we can be together. That is, if you still want
to be with me."
Tomoyo didn't bother to hide her tears this time. This time they were
tears of joy. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Tomoyo asked.
Sakura was sure alright. She slowly bent down and brushed her lips
against Tomoyo's. Tomoyo wasn't sure if this was for real but when
Sakura pressed her lips more firmly against hers she kissed her love
back. When the kiss ended Sakura laid down and wrapped her arms around
Tomoyo.
"I've dreamed of you holding me like this for so long. Of being able to
tell you how much I really love you." Tomoyo confessed as she held
tightly onto Sakura.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. But I love you very much
Tomoyo."
"Ai shiteru Sakura."
The two didn't speak after that. They enjoyed the feel of being in each
others arms and fell asleep peacefully knowing both their dreams had
come true. Tomoyo got the one and only person she would ever love and
Sakura found someone who loved her more than anyone else in the world
and couldn't wait to spend forever with her.
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