Learn to Love

a Card Captor Sakura fanfiction by Setsuna Fujino

AN: Just something I wrote a while back, fixed it a bit.  
Finally submitting it :D lol  

Oh I, for some strange reason, change my author name every 
site I'm on, on the Forum I'm Seira Morim... lol


* * *
      
      I'm not too sure on how this happened. How we ended up 
together. Maybe because we were both lonely, the ones we 
loved fell in love with each other. 
      
        Despite how much it hurt, in one way or another we 
helped them get together. Our other friends, for a while, 
looked at us sympathetically. They knew we loved them, yet 
we didn't do anything about it. Sure she tried too, but as 
time went by she knew there was nothing that would change 
his heart. 
 
        To some it would seem a bit strange for us to be 
together, but too others it would make sense. Two heart 
broken people, fall in love with each other. That's not 
exactly what happened, but close enough. We spent more time 
together when Syoaran and Sakura started dating, they'd 
want us to tag along a couple times and we did. 
 
        It was their date at the fair that started it. 
Meiling had gotten very emotional about the two of them. 
She couldn't keep the hurt inside any longer. I was the 
only one there to comfort her. I remember crying on the 
inside, for her, for me, but I couldn't show her, one of us 
had to be strong, at least on the outside. I sat there 
holding her in my arms as she sobbed into my chest. Like a 
lost child. It wasn't like I found my true love right then, 
because Sakura will always be my one and only. But it was 
comfortable, and we both knew it.
 
         She had quieted her sobbing to a sniffle. I lifted 
her chin and wiped away her tears with a sad knowing smile 
on my face. 

That's when it happened. 

She kissed me. 

        At that time I thought it was for comfort, she 
needed it. I needed it too. We both sat there, tears 
streaming down our faces, while we kissed; it wasn't soft 
and warm, but full of need and pain. People walked by 
thinking we were so cute together, loved ones just now 
finding their love. No it was us losing it.
 
       After that, she always came to me when she was 
feeling alone. Most of the time it was at night, after a 
long difficult day watching the ones we loved most. We were 
happy for them, god so happy, but it still hurt. It hurt so 
much. That?s why she came, and that's why I let her. I 
would sit there and hold her every night, just like before. 
Almost every time she'd end up falling asleep, not that I 
minded, it was nice to have someone there lying next to you 
while you slept. Like a stuffed animal. Some nights we 
would kiss, to get the anger and pain out, sometimes 
because we needed it.
 
        It needed to stop, it wouldn't work out. She knew, 
she knew all along, no matter how hard we tried we could 
never love each other to the fullest. Our hearts belonged 
to another, another that we could not have. And it was ok. 
She said it was fine. She said she needed me. I was the one 
that kept her in this world. If I hadn't been there she 
wouldn't have known what to do. 
 
       I believed her, because she too was the one that 
kept me in this world. Yes, we were happy to find the ones 
we loved, happy with one another, but the pain was so, so 
difficult. Like someone stabbing you and laughing. Like 
you've been stepped on and just to make sure they stepped 
on you a few more times. 
 
       Some people thought we were truly in love; let them 
think that, it's quite possible. Our relationship is just 
starting. I'll learn to love her as we go on. She'll learn 
to love me. We're better off with each other than having to 
go through that pain everyday, we can share it with each 
other, comfort each other and soon, hopefully that pain 
will go away. And it'll just be the two of us. I want to 
fall in love with her. All I can do is wait, wait for my 
heart to heal its previous pain so I can make her happy, 
and I know she is thinking the same thing. I can see it in 
her eyes. We want to love each other, but our hearts are 
our deciders, not our brain. 
 
I promise Meiling, that one day I will love you.  You 
deserve it. 
 
        "Tomoyo-chan...?" a soft voice whispered from 
behind me. "What are you doing up so late?"   I stand up 
and go to the bed we've shared for the past year. 

      As I brush a strand of hair out of her face I reply, 
"I was just thinking is all." I kissed her forehead to give 
her assurance. She smiles and sighs as she laid her head 
back down on the pillow. Yes one day I will love her.  


* * *


TBC... Maybe... lol

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