Jealousy
Hallo! It's me again, Hinako Shinjo. Sorry from hearing from me again
so soon, I just find it weird to get to successive ideas for a fanfic
from nowhere. A Sakura x Tomoyo x Li fanfic!(What, a threesome? NO!) I
just seem to get more twisted with every story I come up with. >:D
Hee. Anyway, down to business. This story takes place, let's say,
Junior High, that's all I'm telling.
*on her knees* Feedback, be it flames or praises, give me feedback! It
actually inspires me to write more, *Specially praises, ~heehee~* I
always bother to give other authors feedback, so please be kind enough
to give me some....I BEG YOUUUUU!
If you got some time to spare, read on!
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I fumbled idly with my pen in class, looking at the empty seat beside
me. It's been three days since she's been absent, and she hasn't
accepted my calls. She doesn't even accept visitors, not even me. Sigh.
I just hope she's fine. I'd hate myself if something happens to her
without me being of help...
"Daidouji-san, maybe you would like to join the rest of us in class!"
I stiffened from my seat and felt some heat rushing to my face. How can
teachers be so inconsiderate? Third this day. Everyone probably thinks
I've got a trend going on now. Sigh. What can I do? I took my pen and
started jotting notes to *be* with the *rest* of the class.
It took forever before the bell rang.
****
I saw the bewildered expression on Rika's face when I declined her
offer. I said I wanted to be alone. Yeah, right, alone. Like I'm not
alone already. She understood pretty well, though. Without Sakura-chan
around, everything seems duller for me. Why is she absent from class
anyway? And why do I get the feeling that she's avoiding me?...has she
finally found out what I mean by my words? Oh no. Please don't let this
be. Maybe that's why she doesn't accept my calls nor my visits. Maybe
she'll...
"Tomoyo-chan!"
I stopped walking and looked behind me. Oh, him. Maybe he knows more
about this than I do, after all, he *is* her boyfriend.
"Li-kun, how nice it is to see you.", I said as I gave him my usual
smile.
I looked at Li quizzically after that. He seemed a little out of it
today. He had his hands dug into his pockets and was staring at me
like I was...naked or something. When he finally have realized he was
staring his cheeks became flushed and he looked down to his feet. I
suppressed a giggle as I covered my mouth with a hand.
"Got anyone to walk with, Tomoyo-chan?", he asked me when he got his
composure back.
"No one in particular, Li-kun, want to keep me company?", I answered
immediately getting his point with that question.
Li nodded quickly and his face became flushed again. He *is* a little
out of it today, I told myself. I let him walk besides me and we
chatted idly as we started walking towards my car. I felt weird
somehow, he was looking at me all the time we walked together. It made
me a little uncomfy, I must admit, so I just went on to ask him with
what's bothering me.
"Li-kun, do yo know what happened to Sakura-chan?"
I became even more puzzled when Li stopped walking, as if he became
nailed on the ground. He dug his hands again to his pockets and
looked down. I could tell he was looking for words to say. I could also
tell that something happened, something bad happened to Sakura-chan...
"Li-kun, tell me, please! Did something happen to Sakura?!", I blurted
out as I held him by the shoulders and started shaking him.
He looked at me with an apologetic glint in his eyes. I can feel tears
building up in my eyes but I ignored that, all I cared about that
moment is what happened to Sakura.
He took a deep breath and said, "Tomoyo-chan...I broke up with her."
It was all in a haze, really. I felt my emotions become all mixed up in
a second. From it being worry, it became anger. I wanted to grab him by
his neck and choke him there and now. It may be unusual of me to think
like this but he hurt Sakura-chan, my dear Sakura-chan!
Fortunately for him, I kept my cool and asked him in a reserved manner,
"Why did you?"
I could see him fidgeting right before me. He pulled his right hand
from his pocket and started scratching his head. He still faced the
ground. I guess he was finding some valid explanation he can give me. I
folded my arms over my chest with my books and waited for him to talk.
When he raised his head, I felt that I took a step backward
unconsciously. His face was set in a grim expression, and being flushed
with a bright red. I felt his eyes boring down deep into me, sending
shivers all over my body. All I could do was ask him a nervous "What?"
Li reluctantly took a step forward towards me. I can't say how shocked
I was when he took my hands and held it in his own. I tried to avoid
his gaze but I couldn't. He looked so desperate. Why is he doing this?
If he wanted me to help in patching things up with Sakura he doesn't
even have to ask.
"Tomoyo-chan, I broke up with Sakura because...because..."
His blush deepened. I shook my head not understanding what he was
trying to say. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Just imagine
how shocked I was when he lunged his head forward and gave me a quick
kiss on the lips. He dropped my hands and immediately took a step
backwards. His face couldn't have been more redder.
"That's why. I'm sorry, Tomoyo-chan, I just...realized it. I've always
found you amazing. You're beautiful, perfect, what else can I say?
You're always so kind, so generous, not only to me, but also to
Sakura." He stopped, then looked down then, he continued. "I know you'd
hate me for hurting your best friend, but it would hurt her more if I
kept on lying to her, so...I broke up with her." He looked at me
waiting for a reply.
"Li-kun, does she know that you...did this because of me?"
He nodded. At that, I just turned around to leave.
I didn't even know where I was heading.
****
I tossed and turned restlessly on my bed. No doubt I feel like crap.
More like worthless crap, yeah, that's right, worthless piece of crap.
Here I am, feeling miserable over a guy who dumped me for my
best friend, while he is probably ogling around her now. Dammit. Damn
him, damn her, damn them all!
I grabbed my alarm clock and looked at what time it was. 1:15 in the
morning, and I'm not a bit sleepy. Sleep, heh. That's something I
hadn't done in the past few days. I'm too busy feeling sorry for
myself, what not?...and to be honest, plotting revenge. I was even
plotting to use all of the Clow cards for it...but nah. It would seem
too childish and immature of me to use them for that sort of thing. I
just hate him for doing this to me. And her too. Sigh. I placed my
hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling.
Well, come to think of it, I shouldn't be hating her. It isn't her
fault that she's so perfect. Heck, anyone in the right mind would fall
for her the instant they saw her. She's just so beautiful! Her hair is
so soft and silky, it just flows along so beautifully whenever the wind
plays with it. And the way she smiles, it can melt people right where
they are standing. Her eyes also match her pale skin so beautifully,
they're like blue gems stuck in the clouds or something...and her
amazing body figure is just to die for...
In a snap I sat up on my bed. My thoughts just wandered to where it
*shouldn't* be, concerning Tomoyo at least. What am I doing? What was I
thinking? I should be thinking of Li instead of Tomoyo, or Tomoyo, no
it should be Li...
"Argh! Curse him for making me think like this!", I said out loud.
I grabbed a pillow, put it over my head, and tried to get some rest.
"I'm going to settle this tomorrow...", I murmured to myself as I felt
my eyes get heavy.
****
I peeped through the window to see if he was anywhere on sight. Okay,
so I was avoiding him all day. I was even rude enough to leave the
table which I occupied with my friends when he sat down. I know Li just
wants to be...near me, but I can't help feeling guilty about it.
Especially that Sakura came back to class today being as equally
cheerful and nice towards me even though I was the cause of this. She
didn't even say a word about it, but she did say she wanted to talk to
me alone after class. Poor Sakura...if I can just tell her that I...
I almost screamed when I felt a firm hand land on my shoulder. I looked
behind my shoulder to see Li, who had a very hurt expression on his
face.
"Tomoyo-chan, I need to talk to you, please?", he pleaded.
I blinked a few times, then looked around quickly for any sign of
Sakura. Seeing that she's not anywhere on sight, I reluctantly agreed,
provided that it be somewhere private, somewhere where she can't see
us. He smiled and nodded.
****
I ran around campus with my backpack hanging loosely by my shoulders
and literally running over anyone who got in my way. I'm pretty sure
that he's with Tomoyo right now trying to win her over. Just the
thought of that makes me see red! I still can't drop the fact that he
dumped me for my best friend, and I'm more than ready bash his head in
if he lays a hand on her.
Wait a minute...bash shouldn't it be bash HER head?
I almost stumbled when I realized what I had been thinking. When I
regained my balance, I walked towards a tree and leaned my back to it.
I had a thought going on in my head.
Why do I seem to be miserable by the fact that he is going after Tomoyo
instead of him dumping me? Why am I more disturbed over the thought
that Tomoyo might be actually beginning to fall for Li? If he dumped me
for someone else, would I feel this way? If it was someone else, I
would have ran crying to Tomoyo and she would wipe my tears away,
comfort me with her smiles and embraces that would always melt all my
troubles to nothing. But it was her, and I had nobody to go to. And if
he wins her heart, I'd lose her, her that had always given me happiness
and...
I felt my mouth fell open as memories came back to me.
"I like doing things for my "special person"."
"I love you Sakura-chan."
"I'll tell you again when we are older."
I fell to the ground, sitting. I never looked at it this way, until
now. I felt a sting of guilt and sorrow thinking about Tomoyo. All
those years she was beside me, seeing me love someone else, with me
never realizing what she had always tried to say. She'd always be happy
for me when I am happy, and sad if I was sad. I can just imagine how
much pain she feels seeing me with someone else. But she's always there
for me. Always ready to lend an ear, give a hand, offer a shoulder to
cry on. Always smiling even though her heart ached with a pain that I
caused. I...had given her that pain.
I sprang up to my feet, wiping my tears with my arm and headed off to
look for her again.
I knew exactly what I had to do.
****
We stood before each other in a safe distance, behind the school's old
gymnasium. Nobody was around except us. Like that helped me feel any
better.
"I'm sorry about what happened during lunch break, Li-kun...", I
started when he abruptly raised his hand that made me stop.
"You needn't explain, Tomoyo-chan. I know exactly how you feel...you
feel guilty that I left Sakura-chan for you."
I nodded, then felt my blood rushing to my face when he took my hands
and placed them over his chest. I looked at Li. He looked back at me,
so longingly, so lovingly. I never got to look at him that close,
moreover him looking that way at me. I wondered right at that moment if
I ever gave away my feelings for Sakura by looking at her like that.
Oh, yeah, I forgot how naive she is about it.
"Listen to me, Tomoyo-chan. I know it would take a little time for you
to be comfortable around me, she is your best friend after all.", he
paused a moment and sighed. "I'm no good at this...", he continued. "I
feel guilty too, I mean, you hang out with her all the time, and if I
want you to...like me, I'd have to be around you all the time too,
right? And I have to be with her, and it wouldn't help if all three of
us would feel uneasy with each other, right?" He breathed in deeply and
I noticed that he had forgotten to do that all the while he was
talking.
"But Li-kun, I can't just drop this feeling that I have, you hurt my
best friend, because of me.", I said, looking away. I tried to pull my
hands away from him but he didn't let go. He kept them on his chest and
he actually pulled me in closer. He let go of my hands but I still
can't get away when he wrapped his arms around my waist. I opened my
mouth to say something but nothing came out, I felt breathless and
paralyzed in his arms.
He looked at my face and murmured, "You just don't know how beautiful
you are."
I admit it, I was flattered, flattered enough to stand there and do
nothing as he began lowering his face to mine. When I finally came back
to reality I found his face barely an inch before mine. I closed my
eyes and waited for it to be over.
To my surprise, I felt a hand grab my arm and jerked me away from Li. I
opened my eyes and saw that it was Sakura. Before I could even begin to
explain, Sakura looked sharply at me then to Li, who was still caught
off-guard with what just happened.
"What do you think are you doing to her?!", Sakura snapped at Li. I
tried go in between them but the look on Sakura's face made me shrink.
I never saw her that mad before!
"What's it to you?", Li answered back just as indignantly. He reached
for my arm and caught it firmly. He began to pull me away but Sakura
grabbed my other arm. I felt like a rope being used in a tug-of-war
contest.
Sakura sneered and looked mockingly at Li, saying, "Hah! What's it to
me? I feel sorry for you, Li. Don't you know Tomoyo-chan is already in
love with somebody else?"
I looked at Sakura with fear in my eyes. Does she really know that I am
already in love with someone else? And does she know that she's that
person? Or is she just using me to get back at Li?..no, Sakura-chan
isn't like that, she wouldn't...
"Can't you try anything better than that, Sakura?", Li answered dryly
as he tugged again on my arm and said, "C'mon, Tomoyo, let's leave." I
felt Sakura tug on my arm strong enough to pull Li with me. Sakura was
still sneering as she looked at Li.
"She loves ME.", Sakura said plainly.
My mouth dropped open as she said that. Out of the corner of my eye I
saw that Li had the same reaction too. A moment passed by with
silence...
"Is it true, Tomoyo-chan?", Li asked in quiet monotone.
Both their eyes were on me now. I turned my head to look at Li, with a
doubtful expression on. I then turned my head to face Sakura. She was
smiling at me with a triumphant shimmer on her eyes. No use lying now.
I took a deep breath and faced Li. "Yes, I'm in love with Sakura-chan,
Li-kun." I saw him stiffen from where he was standing. His breathing
started to become short and ragged. I don't have to see anymore of
this. I turned away and found myself facing Sakura, who took hold of my
arm and led me away from Li. I was pretty sure I heard him sobbing.
As soon as we were far enough, I broke away from Sakura's grasp. She
seemed surprised at that, and asked me what's the matter. My chest was
burning from within me as I looked at her. How can she be so dense? How
can she not realize that it hurts for me to be used like that? Use my
feelings as a tool of revenge against Li. I didn't realize that I was
crying until she raised a hand to my cheek and wiped away a tear.
"Tomoyo-chan...let me explain...", she said as she took a step nearer
to me.
"No, you don't have to explain, Sakura-chan.", I managed to smile
through my tears. "I'm happy now that you know what I really feel for
you, and you managed to use it for your revenge. " She looked away from
me.
"I'm sorry.", she managed to say in an odd tone.
"It's okay. You know I'm happy when you're happy, and you can't seem to
be happier that you got back at him Sakura-chan...excuse me." I tried
not too sound too anguished, but I failed. I gingerly raised a hand to
my face to wipe some tears, then turned to walk away.
I heard a sigh that was followed with her saying, "No, I'm not sorry
for forcing you tell the truth in front of Li-kun, Tomoyo-chan. I'm
sorry because I hadn't realized what you felt for me earlier."
I instantly froze on my tracks. When I turned around, I just found her
plunging into my arms. At first I was reluctant to hold her, but I gave
in to my emotions and held her as tight as I can. She pulled away from
me slightly and she met my eyes. Seeing her smiling, I can't help but
do the same. But I had to know something.
"You're not mad at me for being in love you, Sakura-chan?"
Still smiling, Sakura shook her head. I sighed. That was enough to tell
me everything was fine. I started pulling away from her before I let my
feeling to get the better of me but she had to do this...
It was all like in slow motion. With her closing her eyes, moving her
lips in a manner that could only mean one thing. In what seemed like
hours, she moved for the kill.
She kissed me right on the lips. MY lips. Tomoyo Daidouji's lips. God,
why can't I seem to believe this?
I never closed my eyes through that. I was looking at her with my eyes
wide open while she's kissing me, as if I want to know if it's really
her. Needless to say, it's her. It's REALLY, REALLY HER.
She pulled away and looked at me oddly, then smiled. No, I shouldn't
blush! Please, cheeks, don't blush!...and since when did you ever
listen to me? Might as well ask her now...
"So, this means..."
Sakura cut me off with another kiss that was different that what she
had given me just a while ago. This one is...what, what can I
say...this is one made me just wrap my arms around her neck and I
kissed her back like the entire world will be ending at any moment.
Both of us were out of breath when we stopped. I once again, tried to
pull away from her before anyone could see us, but she wouldn't let me,
with her arms wrapped around tightly around my waist.
"Sakura-chan, you know, you do have eventually, let go."
She pouted, then loosened her grip and let me go. We started to walk
side by side towards the school gate. Then, a question popped out of my
head. Without stopping nor looking at her, I asked...
"How'd you find out?"
I can feel the smile on her face as she gave me her answer.
"Oh nothing special, I just felt jealous."
Then and there I pinned her to the ground. I don't care if anyone saw
us...I was giving Sakura-chan every reason why she should never ever be
jealous of anyone now over me...
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Poor Li-kun! I feel so sorry for him as I was writing this. *Scoff,
scoff, yeah right...* Watch out for my next fic, entitled....
"The Runaway Bride"
Til then, see ya! ~K-cha~
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