Full Circle
First and foremost I don't own CCS or any of the characters I'm just
borrowing them. Secondly this story doesn't follow the series
completely as I haven't seen it all and what I have is the bastardized
American version so I've had to adapt what I've seen to fit with what
I've read and found out about through various sources. The un-named
card in the story refers to the hope card shown after Li returns to
china. I left it un-named because at the time I started the story I
hadn't yet seen it but knew about it and in the context of this story
it works as well as having it named would. It's just a matter of
preference. I hope you enjoy this fic. Mouse r.r.
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Sakura smiled warmly as Li approached leaning heavily into his cane.
The years hadn't been as kind to him as they had her and she felt a
moment of heartache as she sensed the weakness in his ancient form. A
weakness mirrored by her own fragile body. Carefully managing the
small number of stairs leading to the weathered old porch of her house
Li savored the memories if his time spent in her company. It had been
all too short in his mind and to his regret but his quest had led them
down differing paths. The divorce had been his suggestion and resist
it as she tried Li knew Sakura understood and accepted his leaving.
The clow magic's had him mind body and soul, even their love for each
other hadn't been proof against the pull of those energies. However it
was now those same energies that had once pulled them so far apart
that called them together once more.
Tomoyo stood in the doorway as watching the scene play out before her.
Li had hurt Sakura so deeply she still hadn't fully recovered and
Tomoyo would never forgive him that transgression. She could see the
slight smile playing across Sakura's face as Li struggled across the
time worn porch, the sea breeze ruffling his hair and faded robes.
Noting those robes and their significance Tomoyo broke her stance and
approached the two with the serving platter she had gone for moments
before Li stepped through the gate. 'Hello Li may I offer you some
tea?' She didn't mean to sound as crabby as her words had come out and
regretted the tone almost instantly. Sakura cast a rueful glance her
way softened by a knowing wink from the emerald gems that were her
eyes. Even at her age Sakura still maintained a quick smile to hide
slightly devious intents shining in those eyes.
Nodding graciously Li accepted one of the small glasses from the
platter and sipped at it absently, 'Excellent tea as always Tomoyo.'
The pause seemed to last an eternity as Sakura and Tomoyo leaned in
eager to hear what news had brought him from China once more to their
home. 'When was the last time you spoke to Kero Sakura?'
The question caught Sakura badly off guard, the last time she had
spoken to Kero he had been so tired, so weak he could no longer assume
his true form. A thought that plagued her in the weeks following. For
decades she had been master of the Sakura cards but in recent years it
had become increasingly harder to summon or control them. In fact her
last attempt had ended in near disaster as the fiery went rampant and
burned down a large part of old Tokyo. After that experience she had
closed the Sakura book and not opened it since fearing what damage she
might do next.
Studying Sakura's face closely as she recalled the past, Li knew she
had the same problem he did. In his case the effects weren't as
noticeable but were there nonetheless. After he left Sakura to further
his quest to become a clow mage Li had traveled for a number of years
following the leads left by Clow Reed and Eriol, city after city
library after library he searched the world over and eventually turned
up the knowledge he needed. He created his sealing staff and grimorum
on his twenty-fifth year, two full years after the divorce had been
finalized. On that day he learned the day he would die. He also
learned that Sakura would pass away around the same time and for the
same reasons. She had the luck to be born the rightful holder of the
clow key, he had made his own. The differences were superficial for
the most part. She hadn't had the power to create the cards until
after gathering them all and converting them into star cards. Even
then it took time for her to master that, but it took little of her
energy. The only time her energy had been tapped seriously was in the
turning from clow to Sakura cards. For him it was a different story,
he had to will his cards into being. As Clow Reed did in the days long
past Li gave a piece of himself to each and every card as well as to
the seal beast and the guardian. At the time he had plenty to spare.
Things change as life goes on though and now at his eighty-fifth year
his magic was failing him, as was Sakura's. 'Sakura you need to talk
to Kero soon. The fate of your cards depends on it. They need your
strength one more time and you have to find out for yourself why. I
cannot tell you, the reasons may be different in your case but the end
result is the same. Don't bother trying to hide behind that beautiful
smile Sakura, this is serious.' Turning to face her Li fixed her eyes
in his gaze hoping she could see the fear for her in them that he felt
in his heart. If Tomoyo had any idea what was to come Li felt sure he
wouldn't make it off the porch let alone back to his ornithopter.
Standing slowly, his stare unchanged, Li bowed to Sakura bending over
her age weathered hand laying a soft kiss on the once smooth back of
her hand. 'Ill be expecting your call. Love.' Turning to Tomoyo he
bowed once more and leaned forward brushing lightly against her cheek.
Tomoyo blushed as his whispered breath warmed her ear. His words sent
chills along her skin as he withdrew and made his way back to the
gate. Overhead a passing spaceliner split the air buffeting the house
and sending birds to flight. Searching the sky Tomoyo wondered over
Li's whispered message and thought back over the years. For the
longest time Sakura had held more power than any of the worlds
superpowers. In summers past the three of them shared many an exciting
adventure as magic filled the lands. The only dark times she could
remember were those days Sakura did nothing save mope and mourn over
losing Li. His whisper burned in her ear again. After all this time
how had he known? When had he found out? Cursing loudly Tomoyo damned
Li once again. Why? Why had he come back to stir up feelings long
since hidden and repressed. Why now at the end of their life should he
remind her of that which she could never have? Unbidden the tears came
as years of pent up anguish finally found the chink needed to burst
the well-built dam. Not wanting Sakura to see her crying Tomoyo made
ready to go inside but was stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder
'What was said to make Tomoyo-chan cry?'
Sakura stared openly at her friend as she blotted at the last tears
rolling from her eyes. What could Li have said to cause this much pain
to Tomoyo? How could he come back after all this time only to cause
them both to hurt all over again? It had been an agony almost beyond
bearing when he told her he was leaving her. He had to leave, the
explanation began, her magic was too powerful. If he stayed with her
he could never focus clearly enough to learn to wield those same
energies. Her magic was so blinding it distracted even Eriol at times.
So he left her not knowing at the time she was pregnant. She hadn't
told him about their child until the day he visited a few years later
and caught her nursing their daughter, Willow.
In the time since that day Sakura had finished her studies and with
Tomoyo's help she raised Willow with love and magic guiding them every
step of the way. It was a side note of those days that inspired Tomoyo
and resulted in Sakura becoming rather wealthy. As she listened to
Sakura spin fanciful yarns of her earlier days capturing the cards the
idea struck Tomoyo. Since it had been Tomoyo's suggestion and Sakura
could never denied her best friend anything she found herself modeling
newer versions of the costumes and outfits Tomoyo had made for her
back when capturing the cards and flirting with Yuki to were the
majority of her existence. Tales of their early adventures splashed
out across the holonet filling the hearts and minds of a new
generation with enchantment and inspiration.
Her musings held her almost to distraction, had she not truly been
worried for her dearest friend Sakura might have missed the resigned
sigh that escaped Tomoyo. Her cheeks still flushed and damp from tears
Tomoyo attempted a non-chalant shrugging off of the issue but Sakura
refused to back down. 'Tomoyo-chan please ... I have to know what Li
said to you that hurts so much. You have been here for me in all my
most trying times and I can do no less for you.' Both hands upon
Tomoyo's shoulders Sakura pulled her old friend close so there would
be no escaping her searching gaze. Tomoyo hurt and Sakura had to know
why.
A dozen emotions and more coursed through her yet Tomoyo held the
better part of them in check, around Sakura she had to. If Sakura
sensed something troubling her friends it troubled her, which only
made it all that much harder for Tomoyo to keep her long-standing
torment hidden. Decades of such effort had taken its toll on her but
when it was all said and done she wouldn't have traded a moment of her
life to change things. Li's return and hushed request, still burning
in her ear, terrified her. A simple request it was, in fact she had
already complied though it had been years prior. A quick glance into
her friend's emerald green eyes so fraught with concern and she
crumbled. Her will steadfast all these years fell away without so much
as a whimper of resistance. The shaking started shortly after as she
continued to stare into those eyes, new tears threatened on the edges
of her own as she opened her mouth ready to confess once again her
undying love. This time ... this time Sakura might finally understand.
Sakura studied Tomoyo closely, felt her trembling under her hands.
Worry warred across her face as she saw Tomoyo come to her decision,
anticipation grew heavy in her chest. Tomoyo started to say something
when the tightening clutched even harder at her breast and true
physical pain flared across her features. Sakura felt a bit of her
magic fade away along with some of her life as she clutched her hand
to her chest and fell forward. The last thing she heard before the
blackness overtook her was the shear terror ripping at her friends
usually serene voice, the genuine worry and fear for her held in that
piteous wail the only warmth Sakura felt as a coldness she had never
known blanketed her silencing the world.
Touya eased his floater chair around to the bench where his hearts
love sat working with an almost feverish pace. Ever young and
beautiful Yukito cast a winning smile to his partner and love. Within
the confines of their sanctuary he could let slip the guise of a
haggard old man Sakura had woven into his being allowing him to
continue fitting in with Touya as he aged. The weakness struck him
with such a ferocity it was all Yukito could do to keep from falling
off the stool on which he sat as he worked the delicate floral
arrangement. Willing himself upright Yukito dropped his mortal
disguise and Yue doggedly crossed the nine steps separating him from
Touya who seemed as weakened and drained as he. One word was all Touya
uttered as the pair clenched each other for support and strength,
Sakura.
He had long ago given his all, every last ounce of magic within him
for the being of light who held his heart so firmly and yet Touya knew
without a doubt his sister was in serious trouble and needed him.
Needed Yukito. Needed Yue. Needed the three of them. Remembering the
strong willful girl she was as they grew up Touya smiled grimly
knowing she wouldn't give up yet. Nor would he. As one Yue and Touya
nodded in agreement. They would have to make the trip across the
planet to be by her side only this time they wouldn't have Yue's wings
to carry them there. Weakened as he was Yue could barely stand let
alone fly. Passage booked and baggage packed they closed and locked
the doors to their home for so many years now. Neither spoke the words
but both knew they would never see the place again, a long moment of
silence marked the loss. Two hours later they were sub orbital after
the de-orbit burn and on final to approach Ayanami spaceport, Tokyo.
Meilin yawned and stretched greatly, her old bones popping with the
exertion reminding her she would never again be as young as she had
once been. Hospitals irritated her with their routines and refusals,
only allowing immediate family to visit Sakura until the doctors had
the chance to tell her what everyone already knew. Her heart was
failing, its magic faded and worn unableto continue supporting her.
Swiping at the corner of her eye Meilin tried forcing happier thoughts
into her head recalling days of old when she was tagging along with
Sakura and Li as they gathered the clow cards. Deny it as oft as she
might Sakura never did fully convince her of her role as a member of
the team and after returning to China she had given up on both Li and
the clow. She wasn't bitter or resentful even as she attended Li's
wedding to Sakura. Long ago Meilin had accepted the pair and learned
to live with it as best she could. Often when she least expected it
she felt a twinge of jealousy towards Sakura in spite of herself. She
had always been jealous of other girls when it came to Li and Sakura
more so, mostly because she saw what they could be and knew it was far
more than she and Li could ever be.
A solitary figure eased out of the door with Sakura behind it catching
Meilin's attention. Tomoyo stood there wondrously beautiful even at
her age. The two of them had become reasonably close friends for a
time after Sakura and Li married consoling each other as only the
wounded could, confessing to each other on those lonely nights the
true depths of their hearts passions. Meilin would always admire
Tomoyo for the strength of character she held within. How Tomoyo had
managed to smile happily as she watched her hearts desire take the
arms of another and continue on as if nothing could possibly be wrong
was well beyond her. Planting a happy smile on her face Meilin stood
and went to Tomoyo's side. For all Tomoyo had done for them all Meilin
swore to be there for her if she was needed. The smile she was met
with belied the anguish in her heart and Meilin watched helplessly as
Tomoyo seemed to age before her eyes. The burden she bore finally
shown through her well-built facade.
Sakura woke slowly from the coldness drawn by a warmth she could feel
surrounding her at first. As she regained herself the warmth became
her focus leading her back from a terrible dark. Light broke through
the darkness after an eternity and the warmth all around her nestled
against her hand and cheek beckoning her closer still to the light
beating back that lost place. Her eyes fluttered open then clamped
shut as painfully bright light streamed into them. Daring a second
glance Sakura opened them once again allowing them to slowly adjust
before looking around her. Serenity spread across her weathered
features as she took in the first site to greet her weary eyes. Tomoyo
lay awkwardly on the side of the bed, her head resting lightly on
Sakura's hand. The warmth Sakura felt on her cheek, Tomoyo's soft hand
gently cradling her jaw.
Movement to her left caught her eye and she cast a glance in its
direction seeing Li sit up and stretch quietly. With her free hand she
waved him out wanting nothing more than to let her friend rest. It had
obviously been a very trying time for Tomoyo to have fallen asleep in
such an uncomfortable position. Yet she seemed content, happy even, to
be at Sakura's side. Worry creased her brow in new places but did
little to dim the love Sakura could feel emanating from her sleeping
form. 'Oh Tomoyo' she thought silently as she recalled the last events
before blackness took her into its depths, 'How much you have suffered
dear friend?' Whatever Li had said to hurt her so that day paled in
comparison to the pain she must have felt as she watched over me
through all this.
It was later that afternoon before the doctors cleared her for
visitors allowing her the chance to ease the fears and concerns of her
friends and family. For her, though the doctors may never understand,
there was no real distinction between the two but it didn't matter.
Touya had been a wreck and Yuki to faired little better, neither were
assuaged by her insistence that she was ok citing the doctor's
findings regarding her heart. A single look from her quieted Yukito
however. He knew then she understood there was more to it than a
simple heart condition. The call from her daughter and grandson on
aldeberan six was one of the hardest to get through she had ever
received. Sakura flatly refused Willow's insistence on returning to
earth, the trip would take nearly a year and she would be gone long
before then. Saying as much however only stirred things up on both
sides of the call, which had been an open line in her nearly full
room. Touya cried openly saying 'Sakura cant die!' He, as with most
present didn't want to consider that inevitability.
It was another three days before her release from the hospital. With
help from her loved ones Sakura returned to her home with Tomoyo
enjoying the chance to catch up with the lives of those she held dear.
The reason for their reunion only slightly hampered the festive mood
as they gathered for a night of reminiscing and catching up. Ever
watchful and far more doting Tomoyo broke things up at midnight
insisting Sakura rest before leading her, almost forcibly so, upstairs
to her bedroom. Sakura blushed profusely as Tomoyo helped her change,
truly noting for the first time the devotion Tomoyo had for her.
Laying quietly on her bed Sakura again wondered about her friend and
the deep hurting she held within, intentionally not listening to the
hushed conversation continuing downstairs. Knowing she shouldn't tax
herself so soon after such trauma Sakura, defiant as ever, summoned
the Sakura book to her by force of will. Unknowingly attracting the
attention of those still possessing of magic below her.
Opening the time worn lock sealing the magic book with her star key
Sakura whispered softly calling Kero out from his slumber. After a
moment of waiting and hoping he wasn't soundly napping Kero slowly
arose from the faded pages holding those ever so powerful fragments of
her soul. A great yawn split his spherical face only to be replaced by
the instant smile seeing her always brought which in turn was replaced
by a look of concern as he felt the weakness within her now frail
form. 'Its time isn't it Sakura?' Such a simple question it seemed yet
it held more fear than anything Sakura had ever faced, even the
terrible darkness that claimed her the other day didn't frighten her
as much as those simple words. 'Yes Kero,' she began, 'I suppose it
is. What does that mean though? What do I have to do?'
Kero ambled across the span of inches separating him from Sakura on
the bed, noticing out of the corner of his eye Yue and the rest
peaking through the shadows of the hall. Trying to see what would
incite Sakura to so blatantly put her life at risk. Again. A low
rumble slipped from his throat as her hand caressed the short fur on
his forehead. 'You have to do what Clow Reed did all those eons ago
Sakura. As master of the cards that have served you faithfully, your
every need their goal. Now its time to repay them in kind and there is
only one way for you to do so.' Not even the irrepressible Kero was
immune to the rampant emotions brought on by this turn of events.
Weeping openly he explained the ritual to seal the book once again
only to be opened by the new master of the cards. He almost choked
through the tears as he explained it would be the last thing she ever
did.
Hearing this was all Tomoyo could bear and then some, breaking through
the crowd now blocking Sakura's doorway she lunged at her friend, her
true love, and fell into her arms begging Sakura not to leave her
again. In a moment her room was as full as the hospital room had been,
each showing a great concern for both Sakura and Tomoyo but none able
to express themselves in any way other than pleading looks and choked
words. Knowing that a day such as this was inevitable for each of them
in turn did nothing to make it any easier. Li worked his way to the
bedside resting a comforting arm on Tomoyo as he helped her take a
seat beside Sakura before himself joining them on the large mattress.
'Sakura,' he tried to start but her name hung in his throat. He felt
responsible for Sakura's current condition in spite of knowing the
true cause. He had after all been the one to set this chain of events
in motion. He hadn't created the situation merely advanced it and for
that he would never forgive himself, he only hoped Sakura and Tomoyo
could some day. 'Sakura,' he began again forcing himself to continue
this time, 'I cant apologize enough for all the times I've failed you.
I should have told you everything when I visited instead of leaving
you to your own again. You have always been so strong, for yourself
and all of us that I ... I didn't think you needed me this time.' The
sorrow in his voice matched that in his eyes and tore at Sakura's
heart ever more painfully. She made an attempt to speak but Li held a
silencing finger to her lips. 'Kero-chan can only tell you what to do
not show you and in this I may finally repay my debts to you. When you
finally accept this and are ready I will show you the way.' Without
another word he leaned forward and gently kissed her savoring the
feeling she inspired within him as much this day as the first day he
realized his feelings for her.
Tomoyo fought hard against the sudden urge to reach out and slap him
away from Sakura that gripped her. He who had hurt her so badly in the
past and in the present. As he spoke to Sakura she struggled with
herself fighting to retain the control she always held and failed.
Anger raced through her overpowering her defenses and flushing away
all inhibitions. Acting without thought she raised her hand to strike
as he turned to face her, agony playing across his face as dramatic as
any Shakespearian tale. An agony that cut through her anger with laser
precision. An agony she herself knew all to well. Her still raised
fist wavered and fell as she turned away from his gaze. Unable to face
either of them after losing her self-control Tomoyo looked quickly for
a fast escape route ready to bolt when a warm hand was laid across her
shoulder keeping her seated. Li gently placed his free hand on her
other shoulder and turned her to face them. 'Tell her again Tomoyo.
This is your last chance. You owe it to yourself and to her to finally
put this to an end. Or would you let her seal the book without
confessing and knowing once and for all she truly understands?'
Sakura stared openly at her ex-husband, the words coming from his
mouth sounding alien and distant even as their meaning hit home.
Turning to the woman seated beside them she felt hot tears roll down
her cheeks as the question she asked herself earlier was answered in
the anguish telling its tale in the faint lines and creases Tomoyo
bore. Realization struck as thunder in her heart. Sakura often
wondered why Tomoyo had never gotten serious with any of the men who
had come and gone in her lifetime. She had understood when Tomoyo
confessed her love but until now the depths of the love hadn't fully
registered. 'No.' She thought to herself as she studied Tomoyo
carefully, 'No I really didn't understand.' Almost fiercely she shoved
Li aside and took hold of Tomoyo's arms forcibly turning Tomoyo to
face her. 'Why? Tomoyo, why haven't you ever mentioned this since that
day?'
Breaking eye contact in shame Tomoyo looked at the magic tome laying
between the three of them, how could she explain it without hurting
Sakura more? Gently as a summer breeze she lifted a hand cupping
Sakura's face, the time had come for her as well. She could no longer
hide behind the facade. 'I couldn't go through it again Sakura.' was
her soft-spoken answer. 'Your rejection hurt too much to risk a second
time beloved. After you accepted Li's proposal I accepted that we
would never be more than friends. Then after you came to live with me
I couldn't risk losing you because of how I still felt. Having you
near me for all these years made life bearable Sakura.' Speaking
through choked breathes with ragged voice she continued on. 'Yes it
hurt to see you everyday and not be able to tell you how many times a
day I wanted to kiss you or hug you or any of the thousands of things
my love for you inspired but make no mistake I have no regrets save
that you had to find out this way how much I care.'
Sakura felt her heart clutching at her breast again as the confession
spilled out from Tomoyo, the words struck her with unimaginable weight
as all their years together took on new light. How could she have
missed or ignored these feelings from her best friend? The friend she
thought she knew better than she knew her own self. For a second time
in as many hours Sakura felt her world falling in around her. This
wasn't how things were supposed to turn out! Shaking her head fiercely
trying to deny the truth now before her Sakura choked as a torrent of
thoughts and words rushed to her throat desperate to escape her and
lend comfort Tomoyo as she had done all those times in the past for
her. While she had blithely enjoyed a few chance romantic encounters
after her divorce from Li, Sakura had never once seen Tomoyo accept an
invitation from any of the men who asked her out. She remained single
and alone even with her hearts true love living under the same roof.
Knowing she was the source for so much pain and anguish in Tomoyo's
life wailed violently at Sakura's heart and soul. Still wanting to
deny the facts Sakura asked through ragged breathes, 'Was there no one
else who could fill the emptiness my absence created Tomoyo?'
Waiting for her answer the gathered friends strained and leaned
forward as desperate for resolution to this as Sakura seemed. Tomoyo
closed her eyes as a warm smile spread across her time worn face
restoring some of the beauty that had faded so drastically over the
course of the last week. 'No Sakura.' Her voice so quiet it carried a
ghostly feel, 'No there is no one who could ever fill the void, I love
you beyond any I have ever encountered in my life Sakura. There were a
few who held my attention for a time but it was never complete nor did
they return the feelings.' A cautious glance drifted over to Touya who
tried meekly to hide the blush spreading across his face. 'His heart
belongs to another, Sakura, just as mine has always belonged to you.'
The conviction of those last words set as concrete around Sakura's
heart, it wasn't supposed to end this way! She had lived a happy
joyous life thanks to her friends, thanks to Tomoyo. Tomoyo had seen
her through the darkest times of her life, comforting her when sick
consoling her when Li left, caring for Willow as if she were her own
daughter. Through it all Tomoyo never once showed signs of the anguish
that must have plagued her all these years. Shaking her head once more
Sakura cast off that last thought, it wasn't exactly true. Many a
night she woke to find Tomoyo sleeping soundly at her drawing table
sprawled across sketches old and new. Tear blurred sadness-stained
sketches of only one subject, her. More than a few times Sakura had
come across Tomoyo weeping in silence as she watched and reviewed the
video of their youth, reliving days when they had few cares and fewer
inhibitions. Still shaking her head Sakura screamed a defiant 'NO! It
will NOT end this way!' With a renewed strength and purpose of
direction Sakura snatched the magic tome from its spot nestled between
Tomoyo Li and herself. In another moment she had summoned the wings of
the fly card and shot out the open bay window of her room. Racing with
fear driven speed Sakura screamed across the sky in both body and
voice. Far faster than any of her friends could imagine Sakura
disappeared from sight fading into the hazy semi-darkness that was the
night sky over Tokyo.
The silence following in her wake terrified those she left behind.
Tomoyo and Li had tore across the room to the open window intent to
follow her no matter the cost only to be stopped at the sill of the
window, not by anyone present but by a failing of Li's age weakened
body. He had collapsed as he tried summoning his own fly card. 'How
can she still have so much power and yet be so fragile?' Li asked no
one in particular as he was carried to Sakura's bed by firm gentle
hands of gathered friends. Tomoyo broke from the window making her way
to Li's side. Soothingly she ran a gentle hand along Li's jaw much as
she did Sakura's. Angry as she was at Li all these years she couldn't
fault him for anything he had done save the pain he caused Sakura. In
light of tonight she could even forgive that, as she now knew the full
depths of his feelings for her beloved. Feelings mirrored by her own
heart. The gentleness in the hand resting on his cheek warmed his
soul, a hand that only moments ago poised on the verge of lashing out
at him. In all the time he had known Tomoyo Li had only seen her go
hostile once, the first day he came to visit Sakura after the divorce.
The day he learned he left her alone with child. That day he truly
wished to be struck down where he stood. He knew then he had committed
an unforgivable act against Sakura and fully welcomed Tomoyo's
outraged disposition. He left that day vowing to never cause Sakura or
Tomoyo such pain again, yet here he was, in the midst of events vastly
more traumatic knowing he had played the pivotal role. 'Tomoyo' the
words hung in his throat barely impacting the still lingering silence,
'I know I do not deserve it but can you find it in your heart to
forgive me all the pain and heartache I have brought you and Sakura.'
Yukito sat clinging to the withered ancient form of his love Touya.
The pain ripping through Sakura this night touched him to the very
core of his being, not only because she was the source of his life but
also because he could relate to the torment raging through her. As Yue
he would always love Sakura for Sakura but as Yukito his heart had
always belonged to Touya. For years he hinted subtly at those feelings
unsure if Touya would ever return them in kind. When Touya had given
that magnificent part of his soul in order to keep him whole and at
his side Yukito swore to himself and to Touya he would do everything
in his power to remain at his side for all time. Only now he knew his
promise was about to be broken. He and Kero would soon be bound once
again to a sleeping book and they would part ways for the last time.
Agony rent his soul in new ever more painful ways as he held his love
close wishing there were more time to say all the things he had left
to tell Touya. As if he had read Yukito's mind Touya took Yukito's
face in his hands and smiled brightly letting the silence between them
fill with a love so deep it transcended the need for words or actions.
He knew full well the depths of Yukito's love and returned that love a
thousand times over and with every breath he took. As one they broke
free of the grip of their own personal heartaches. Someone more
important to them than life itself was running from a pain to deep to
bear alone. Another someone they cared immensely for sat mere feet
away in a personal hell only imaginable in their worst of nightmares.
Knowing there was nothing either of them could do for Tomoyo didn't
make it any easier to sit idly by and watch events unfold. Neither of
them doubted the next few hours would be the hardest of all their
lives and both wished with their all that it had never come to this
point.
Sakura kneeled at the base of the ancient willow tree Tomoyo had shown
her so many years ago. Exhausted from her panicked flight Sakura's old
body barely withstood the use of her once awesome power. Pain both
physical and emotional gripped her tightly as she sat there panting
for breath. The Sakura book and her wand lay nearby, cast aside as she
fought with herself for her life. She would not pass on without
setting things right for Tomoyo, she would not seal the book until she
had done everything she could to repay all the years of devotion and
kindness her best friend had graciously given at the cost of her own
inner happiness. As she recovered from her exertions Sakura opened her
eyes intent to look for the locket she and Tomoyo had hung from a
small branch in the days of their youth.
Each year they made the trek to this secluded spot, which was now a
part of her large estate. Each time they returned the locket had risen
higher off the ground, further out of reach. Symbolic in its own way
of the separate ways their hearts had gone and the insurmountable span
between them that had forced Tomoyo to keep hidden her true feelings.
Sakura cursed herself silently as she saw the branch of her memories,
bent and broken in places along its great length, but bearing no sign
the token of their everlasting friendship had even existed. They
hadn't been able, in body, to make the trek out here for a number of
years now and time it seemed had slipped past them while they were
occupied elsewhere.
Panic renewed its grip on her as she bent to search the surrounding
ground for the locket, she had to find it, had to have that one solid
piece of her life in sight once more. In all their adventures it was
one of the few constants and yet as life had shown her repeatedly
nothing goes without change. Even a constant could be altered given
time enough. The frantic search turned up no trace of that missing
element leaving Sakura even more desolate and distraught than she had
considered possible in light of recent events. Kneeling once again at
the base of the scarred old tree battered and ravaged as it was by the
passage of time Sakura buried her face in her hands and gave over to
the tempest of emotions surging through her very being. Wrinkled and
worn her once silken smooth hands caught fresh tears in the shallow
cup of her palms until they filled to overflowing.
Sakura had no idea how long she sat in that fugue state, how long she
had wallowed in grief and remorse for days lost and opportunities
missed. She knew with all she was that Tomoyo held nothing against her
and that knowledge only served to worsen the pain scorching away at
her soul. Through her agony Sakura slowly noticed a warmth she had
almost forgotten. The cards, her cards, had freed themselves of the
confines of the book as they had done so many times in the past.
Whenever she was in the darkest of places or times they, as was
Tomoyo, were always there for her. Comforting her with the love and
warmth she herself had instilled within them.
The only still un-named card, the only card she had ever made and
never fully understood drifted into her line of sight. Shining
radiantly it dropped from its space in the air before her falling
softly to a small disturbance that shaped the ground at the base of
the grand old willow. Bending forward to retrieve the card before it
could get dirty or stained Sakura felt something cold under her
fingers as they scooped up the un-named. The card shown brightly once
again illuminating the spot it had just occupied revealing a glimmer
of tarnished old metal. Sakura held her breathe as she began digging
with abandon at the soft soil hiding the object of her previous
search. Shortly she held the locket in her hands once more. Dirty
battered and stained the locket still bore the ribbon used to lash it
to the branch. Frayed and rent in many places the knot binding the two
ends together still held strong. Looking from the ribbon to the limb
from which it had fallen Sakura realized the branch had been battered
far worse than she had initially thought. The branch must have
weathered many a strong storm to have taken as many bends and turns as
it showed in its length. During one of those same storms that
threatened to break it from its source of life the locket had been
cast off landing where it had rested until now. Opening the solid yet
delicate charm Sakura wasn't surprised to see the once sharp pictures
adorning the inside had long since disintegrated leaving nothing but
the two names engraved on the rim of each frame as a reminder of all
that had been.
Dawn split the early morning sky as Sakura scrambled up the twisted
bowing trunk of the willow. Her only goal at the moment, to return
that precious bit of her past to its rightful place. Careful with the
now fragile ribbon Sakura untied the knot clutching each end as if it
were life itself she held in her wrinkled palms only to find the
ribbon no longer had the length to wrap around the massive limb it
once dangled from. Once more life, growth, change had intervened. Once
again it denied her the chance to fix even a small part of the mess
her final days has degenerated into. How she wished for more time just
then. More time to make things right. More time to fix all that had
gone wrong in her life. More time period. Once again the tears came
and this time they refused to ease off as she thought of all that she
would do had she the time left. Had she the time. The idea struck has
as brilliantly as the morning sun did, peaking over the hillside as it
was now. She may not have the time in the future but she had a means
to get a fraction of her lost time back, if she had the strength and
the cards allowed.
Tomoyo stepped from her room wearing a light outfit that belied her
emotional state, cheery and bright as the dress was it failed to mask
the sorrow laying just beneath her eyes. When the sun had rose and
Sakura still hadn't returned everyone, herself included began to
worry. More so than they had when she took flight to begin with.
Tomoyo knew in her heart Sakura was ok but her mind refused to let go
of the fear and concern fanning the desire to race out and track
Sakura down. She really didn't need to think long as to where Sakura
would be, that was another thing she knew from her heart. Saying as
much to the gathered Tomoyo spun on her heel and strode out not
looking back to see who if any would follow. Much as they all mattered
to her Tomoyo's only concern was Sakura. Nothing would keep her from
finding her friend and trying to make things right once more. Sakura
deserved that much. Had she turned back she would have seen first Li
then Touya stand and follow her out. She knew Li would but could not
have guessed Touya had the strength left in his body to stand let
alone walk the handful of miles out across the estate to the tree she
knew Sakura would be visiting. She would not have been surprised
though She knew Touya would give anything even his own life for his
sister. Everyone here would gladly make that sacrifice should the need
ever present itself.
The silent procession snaked its way across the small valley leading
back away from the harsh noises of Tokyo, into the quiet solitude of
the last large stretch of wooded land in all of Japan. Yukito stumbled
once almost dropping the small form of Kero he carried as gently as he
would an infant. Kero had been the closest of them to Sakura and in
her time of greatest need he could do nothing. He, as Yue and Yukito
felt their life fading with each passing moment since Sakura had
fallen that day so recent. The vast well of strength they drew upon
from her was running dry and as it had done to Clow Reed it would end
Sakura's life, one way or another. Pain flared anew in them and they
could feel Sakura tapping into the power that sustained them once
again. Renewed determination drove the three of them onward, ignoring
Tomoyo's calls that they were taking the harder route. Difficulties
mattered little to them, they had to stop Sakura from killing herself
in whatever it was she was attempting to do.
Li laid a gentle hand on Tomoyo's shoulder silencing her calls of
warning. He too felt the power Sakura was unleashing and charged off
after the trio looking back only once to note Tomoyo plowing through
the dense brush and scrub of the forest floor behind him. His clothes
caught and snagged on low branches and wild thorns. Shrugging off each
nip and bite of the branches that sought to slow his progress. Blood
soon soaked through the thin clothe of his pants, testament to his
determination to get to and stand at Sakura's side once again no
matter the cost. When Tomoyo shot past him Li noted a similar
testament discoloring her bright cheery dress. A vine or low branch
caught at her foot stumbling her and putting her on her knees yet Li
watched as Tomoyo fought to regain her footing steadily struggling
forward even as she did so. Catching up to her Li ripped away the
tangle that slowed her apologizing as she winced slightly from the
gash caused by his assistance. He seemed to only be able to hurt her
even when all he wanted was to help. The gentle smile she offered him
as he helped her to her feet eased the sorrow he felt somewhat but not
entirely. Not even her words of thanks and appreciation could
completely dissolve the guilt he felt at all the pain he had brought
into her once charmed life.
The small band of friends and family broke from the thicket at the
edge of the cleared that held the object of their search. Sakura sat
kneeling at the base on an ancient willow on top of the small hill,
eyes closed as she focused her entire being on the single card
floating before her. Yue and Kero were first to realize which card and
the first to understand her line of thought. Rocketing from Yue's arms
Kero tore across the space of yards separating them bellowing at the
top of his lungs for her to stop. Sakura refused to listen or to even
acknowledge he was there. She was too intent on her commune with the
card to hear anything from the outside world.
The commune broke as Tomoyo and Li knelt beside her, the card fell to
the ground followed shortly after by Sakura. Horror stricken Li and
Tomoyo gently eased Sakura upright and leaned her against the trunk of
the stately tree. A small flash of color in her hand caught Tomoyo's
eye, the faded and frayed purple ribbon of the locket she had
personally tied to the branch swayed softly in Sakura's hand. As
Sakura opened her eyes and saw all those she loved around her she
struggled not to let them see how weak she was. Turning to Kero she
demanded to know why the cards refused her this of all times.
'They love you too much to let you risk everything for what you were
seeking Sakura. As we all do.' His reply wasn't wholly unexpected, she
had sensed the reason the cards resisted and wished she had another
way. Time wasn't on her side anymore and her last chance to make
amends was not going to elude her, not when she was so close the end.
Kero shook his rounded head trying to convey the fear and worry he
felt for her all the while knowing full well she wouldn't listen.
Standing took much of her returning strength but her anger and
conviction buoyed her failing energies. 'In all this time I have done
everything for the cards.' She spoke to no one. 'In all this time I
have given everything to them they ever asked and have asked for
nothing in return. I give my heart my soul my very life for them and
now. NOW! When I finally want ... no need this they refuse me? If
there is any good in what I have done for all these years then damn it
all grant me this!'
Kero's head fell, as did Yue's acknowledging all she said was true.
Never before had she asked the cards for anything personal. She had
always been there for them all. 'It could kill you just making the
attempt Sakura surely you see that?' Yue knelt before her hoping she
would feel the tremendous dread filling his very being. The thought of
Sakura so willing to give her life in this endeavor chilled him to the
core. Seeking help to persuade her against this from the others Yue
looked to Li who simply shook his head and took place at Sakura's
side.
Sakura frowned at the feelings he gave off, she had never once felt
such utter despair in the Guardian of the Moon, it wasn't enough to
change her mind though. 'Yue my life will end, soon. Whether it be of
natural causes or sealing the book I will be gone from this world and
nothing can forestall that inevitability. The only choices left to me
are to simple ones. I can seal the book now and spend the rest of
eternity mourning things left undone, I can refuse to seal the book
and end the cycle here and now or I can try to set things right even
if it costs me my life. Either way it ends the same, with my death.'
Yue stared in abject horror at her feeling the impact of her words as
though they were solid objects. Looking away lest she see tears
running down his smooth perfect features Yue found himself at a loss
for words when he should have more than enough. Touya rested his hand
on Yue's shoulder before approaching his younger sister. 'Sakura,
Sister I never imagined I'd live to see this day. I always pictured
myself being the first of us to pass away. I don't want you to die
before me the loss would be truly unbearable for reasons you know as
well as I. But if this is what you truly honestly want or need then
don't let our fears or worries stop you. You have always been there
for us. Always been strong for us when the need arose. Just as we have
been for you.'
Smiling radiantly Touya embraced her gently, hugging her close to give
her the support and warmth she seemed in desperate need of. 'You have
always been a foundation of strength when needed by others and now
that its your need taking precedence we, all of us, can offer no less.
Call from us what power you may need to make this work. I give my life
to you dear sister, Dearest Sakura. It is all I have but it is yours
if you need.' Yue tried to speak out against this only to be stopped
by Kero. The small guardian beast simply shook his head and bowed to
Sakura's only request. A shuddering sigh slipped from Yue as he nodded
his acceptance.
Sakura stepped back from Touya Li and Tomoyo speaking softly as she
did so. 'I can't accept that which you all offer. Much as it means to
me it is too high a price to ask of you. If I cant do this on my own
it shouldn't be done at all.' Clutching her star wand tightly Sakura
summoned the time card to her again. 'Time Card' she began, 'I beg of
you grant me this one wish. One chance to set things right in some
small way. Time card grant me this last wish. Roll back the hands of
age and restore our youth for a single day. If it is within your power
to do so I beseech thee please grant Tomoyo and myself this one day of
lost youth.' Shock and fear warred across her face as she struck the
face of the card floating before and nothing happened. The cards still
refused her this last wish, this only personal request. Prepared to
abandon all hope Sakura felt her legs begin to falter where she stood.
Just as she was giving in to the weakness sapping at her heart and
body the un-named card took up space behind the time card and poured
the most radiant light of all the cards into the time card. In a flash
more brilliant than a thousand suns the time card was finally able to
grant Sakura's wish.
For a full day Sakura spent her all showering Tomoyo with affections
neither would have guessed her capable of. 'Time well spent by any
standards.' Sakura thought to herself as she felt the spell fade from
her weary body. Laying beside Tomoyo on their bed Sakura gently
smoothed the hair from Tomoyo's eyes and smiled happily. Today would
be a good day to die.
True to his word Li stood waiting at the willow tree as the others
took their place for the finale'. Resolute in his actions Li preformed
the sealing spell without flaw locking away the magic that had
sustained him, that he had given so much of himself to create. As the
book settled to the ground after Li felt a heavy burden lift from his
body. Peace flowed within as he sat at the base of the ancient tree
cradling the book and key of his creation. Fighting against the desire
to enjoy the rest and comfort washing through his very being Li
endured He refused to let go until he was certain Sakura succeeded in
sealing her own book. With a nod far stronger in appearance than in
fact he smiled to Sakura indicating it was her time to shine once
more.
Stepping forward Sakura thought back over the events of her life. Some
memories filled her with great sorrow and sadness while others shown
through with even greater love and joy. All those days long past would
sustain her through whatever was to come after this day. She no longer
feared the end, instead she looked forward to the chance to be with
all those she loved who had passed before her. Even if she would spend
the rest of time alone Sakura was content that her life had been a
good one. Spent with loving friends and family. Good and bad all made
up the tapestry of her life, in the end it was how one lived that
mattered not the details. Though the details made the story more
interesting they were only parts of the whole and it was time to bring
this circle to a close.
The spell itself was simple, the words plain and less than magical in
their humble request. 'Book of Sakura hear my plea, Sleep until the
day you are needed once more. Wait patiently until the moment your new
master breaks the seal I place thee under. Show that person the same
love and respect that guided me all these years, devote your might to
that new light. Sakura book I release thee.'
Meilin stood under the willow letting her tears flow freely. It had
been a week since that day and not a minute went by that she didn't
wish to join the two in their restful slumber. The serenity of their
final resting place soothed her in ways she hadn't anticipated. Here
she could sit and still be in the company of her friends. Smiling she
ran her hand over the diamond hard stone marking the grave of the two.
Noticing a couple of extra places on the marker for other names she
puzzled over what it meant even as she traced her fingers over the
locket embedded in the surface of the clear stone. 'The empty spaces
are for us Meilin.' Tomoyo spoke as she knelt before the marker
placing a simple yet elegant bouquet of violet roses on each side of
the marker representing the final resting places of Sakura and Li.
Fighting the urge to scream or lash out or just explode at the sudden
scare Tomoyo had just delivered her Meilin nodded silently still
wondering.
Tomoyo stood and turned to face Meilin directly. 'Dear Meilin I have
never told you how much you mean to me and had I the time left I would
do my best by you if only to return the kindness you gave me. Sadly
time is as always marching steadily forward and mine is at its end.'
Meilin started to shake her head not wanting to hear what her friend
was saying. Already she had lost six of her closest dearest friends in
the span of less than a week. She couldn't bear to be the last of them
left and wanted to run away from Tomoyo then and there. She couldn't
however much she wanted to though, Tomoyo seemed to need to say
whatever it was she had come to say and Meilin wasn't about to refuse
the old woman this. Too much pain and suffering had already plagued
them both for her to simply walk away from a friend in need.
'I have three requests to make of you Meilin, were there another to
handle these tasks I would gladly spare you the burden. There is
however no one left of us save you. Please forgive me for asking this
of you.' Meilin nodded and smiled weakly as Tomoyo first handed her
the book of Li its sealing key and the letter of instructions Li had
asked Tomoyo to help him word properly for his family and future
generations. 'Please see that this is delivered to the Li family and
explain to them what happened and why. They will be very understanding
in time if not initially.' She next turned over the book of Sakura
gently stopping the sway of the small cylinder hanging beside the
sealing key. Before passing away Sakura had spent the last of her
energy creating and fixing the small piece to the book, a final gift
to her brother whose ashes now resided within granting him a place at
Yue's side for the rest of time. She also handed Meilin two small data
cubes and playback unit. The first she explained, was Sakura's last
will and testament dividing her small fortune equally among those
surviving members of her family. The second contained all the video,
all the sketches, every single piece of Sakura that Tomoyo had
collected in imagery and art over the course of time. A chance for
whomever would be lucky enough to open the seal next to get to know
the wonderful person that was Sakura. 'Willow is en-route from
Aldeberan six Meilin, when she arrives please give her these. No
explanation will be needed.' Nodding again Meilin accepted the
tremendous responsibility being thrust upon her.
Tomoyo turned away from Meilin and took in the vista from the hilltop
in the center of the clearing. It truly was a place of spectacular
beauty, perfectly fitting of those who lay sleeping beneath them now.
'Now for the last request I would make of you Meilin.' Slowly with
visibly forced effort she made her way back to the marker and sat
leaning on it for the support she needed to finish her final duties to
her dearest Sakura. 'Meilin I need you to promise me you will look
after this place and that you will, when the time comes, find a worthy
successor. This place must be kept intact for them and I no longer
have the time or the strength to do so. I have faith in you Meilin
faith in your judgment on this matter. I trust you with that which is
most important to me.' The serene smile flowing across her features
stopped Meilin from resisting initially but when she heard no more
from her old friend she started to object. It was only when she bent
down to look Tomoyo in the eyes and accept her new duties that she did
find her friend had gone.
'I promise you all I will tend your graves with reverence and love
until the day I am laid to rest beside you.' Taking a single rose from
each of the bouquets Tomoyo had brought and laid so carefully at the
foot of the marker, Meilin slipped one in each hand of her silent
friend. Through tears mixed of joy and sorrow Meilin opened her
comlink and placed a call to the main house some miles away explaining
to the house staff that Tomoyo wouldn't be returning and requesting
their help in laying her to rest with her friends
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Some centuries later on a distant world not so different from ancient
earth a child opens a strange book with a set of dull faded cards
nestled within. Speaking the name of the first card aloud scattered
the remaining to the far reaches of this new world and awakening the
sleeping guardian who smiled at the face before him. As she promised
Sakura had completed the circle that was once again set in motion. He
would miss her for the rest of his days but whenever he looked to the
star that was hers Kero could see Sakura, Tomoyo, Li and Meilin
smiling down on him wishing him all the best. Much as Clow Reed had
done while Kero served Sakura tending her needs. A great yawn split
his mouth followed by a rumble in his stomach and he could swear he
heard Sakura and crew laughing all the way from that other place.
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