Falling to Pieces
I adore the works of CLAMP. I even have the Miyuki-chan DVD
and the first two volumes of the manga. Errr... I know it
doesn't sound impressive, but if you knew where I live you'd
understand... ^__^;;
So anyway, I only watched some 10 episodes of the Sakura anime
and the first movie but I've read the complete manga. (The
last scene really is kinda depressing for Tomoyo/Sakura fans
isn't it. In fact, the whole last volume...) And so I went
looking for some fanfics and I haven't found much. Much good
ones that is. There is a lot sugary friendship-love stories
with a plot that ... sucks. Anyway, here's my take. It's not a
darkfic, despite the title! Please tell me how you like it.
------------------------------------------------------------
Tomoyo blinked in surprise. Even now, after more than 15
years of friendship Sakura still managed to surprise her. As
much as Sakura always said Tomoyo was "a bit weird" - the
feeling was mutual.
"H- hi, Tomoyo. I need a place to stay for a few days..."
Sakura said as she put her bags down in front of Tomoyo's
apartment. Tomoyo just did what she knew best when hearing one
of Sakura's crazy ideas. She smiled.
"Sakura-chan, come in. Of course you can stay here."
Twenty-four years of age, Tomoyo still couldn't deny Sakura
any of her wishes. The young filmmaker who was just making her
debut was glad her friendship with the greatest magician there
had ever been was still as fresh as ten years ago. Even though
she never was able to tell her just how much Sakura means to
her. Her mother told her that it was starting to show. Maybe
that's why her mentor said the short movie that she had
graduated from Tokyo Film Academie with was 'dark'; and when
that woman said something was 'dark', it meant that it was
'terribly dark'.
Always it was Tomoyo to whom Sakura first went when something
happened. Tomoyo was the first to know that Sakura was in love
with Lee-kun, every detail of what happened on their dates,
that she was moving in with him. And she always came to her
best friend when she needed someone to listen to her, when she
needed advice or comfort. Tomoyo knew about their fights.
About how he hit her. He didn't mean to do it, it just
happened. And not just once. He was someone who kept to
himself, he didn't open up to no one. He kept everything
inside until it just exploded. And Tomoyo was the first - and
only one - to know about the pregnancy and the abortion.
Now Sakura was at her door again. Her smile was as bright as
when they were children and her eyes were shining.
"I left him," was all she said. Tomoyo couldn't believe it.
It was ten years ago that Syaoran came to Tokyo and no less
than seven years that he returned to claim his love. Tomoyo
didn't think Sakura would be able to do it even though she did
everything she could to make Sakura realize that this wasn't
how it was supposed to be.
***
With a simple twist of fate, everything was like it had been
when they were children. Before they both knew that the world
wasn't always the wonderful little piece of heaven it was
supposed to be. They were going to the park together, to the
aquarium, eating in fast food parlors and fancy restaurants.
But the more wonderful it was the more painful it was becoming
again. The sweet pain of having her so near but still just out
of reach. They even slept in the same bed! It was a double bed
but that's beside the point. She just couldn't say no when
Sakura had asked.
Sleepily she swayed slowly to the bathroom. Looking in the
mirror she took a short brown hair out of her dark ocean of
locks. Holding it between her fingers she was looking at it.
Her look was completely empty, her mind rendered blank by the
silken brown strand that bound her existence to the magician.
She put it slowly and carefully down into the sink as if it
was something of great value that needed special attention.
After this was done she put her hair in a big bun at the back
of her head and took off her night robe.
Slowly the warm water warmed her and woke her up on that cold
winter morning. Today she didn't have any appointments, she
didn't have to go talk to the producers, she didn't have to go
over the script with the actors. There was a lot of fuss
around a simple TV production and nobody wanted to take any
chances with the young director who was allowed to contribute
to the show and 'present' her talent. It was a free day,
surely to be spent with Sakura. Maybe just a quiet day at
home.
She was deep in thought and didn't hear the bathroom door
open and close. She didn't think anything of it as she heard
the movement inside the bathroom and she didn't react as she
sensed another body entering the cabin. She automatically
stepped a bit forward to give the other one enough room. Then
a pair of hands undid her hair and let it fall down.
"I always thought your hair was beautiful hanging down your
naked back." To this and to the hands that came to rest above
her hips she did react. Her brain was kick-started and she
tried to turn around but the stronger pair of hands held her
firmly at the shoulders now and refused to budge.
"It's very sexy, you know," a seductive voice close to her
ear whispered. The hands released their grip, probably to
stroke her hair that started to plaster to her back, and she
used the chance to face the intruder.
"Sakura, what are you doing," Tomoyo said in a stern tone.
Well, she tried to at least. She was afraid her voice was
giving in to her desire as she was glancing at Sakura's naked
body in front of her. After all, it was a rare chance.
"Tomoyo-chan, you were just so beautiful and I-" here a
elusive smile formed on Sakura's face, "wanted to join you in
the shower..." Sakura started saying, but Tomoyo wasn't buying
it and Sakura knew that. Curling her lips into a smile she
tried again.
"To-mo-yo," she spoke slowly, slurring the syllables in a
sexy voice. "Isn't this what you always wanted?" Tomoyo
suddenly paled a few shades. She froze for a moment but
quickly enough recovered to ask, stammering:
"H- how can you know that?"
"I don't think that matters now, does it?" Sakura said again
in a tone that made Tomoyo shiver for various reasons. Then
slowly the brunette leaned in closer. She stopped just before
reaching the other and all Tomoyo was able to do was to close
her eyes and wait to see if her eyes and ears were playing
tricks on her.
No, apparently not, since she felt a pair of soft but
determined lips press against hers. And that was not the only
thing that pressed against her. Her mind was racing, racing to
find a solution, a solution that won't hurt. That won't hurt
the one she loved most.
"Sakura," she began, as the kiss was broken. She tried to
block it completely, physically giving in but not letting
herself be aware that she was being kissed by the most
beautiful, most perfect person in existence.
"Sakura, you'll regret this. Please, just go back to bed and
forget about this." 'You're not like me!' she wanted to
scream.
"Damnit, Tomoyo, just be selfish for once in your life!"
Sakura's green eyes flashed with anger as she shouted at the
stunned black-haired beauty. "Don't you see, I need you as
much as you need me! Just let go of everything that was always
holding you back!"
Tomoyo froze up as she stood in the shower like a lifelike
statue. A tear escaped her eyelids but Sakura didn't see it,
she couldn't have since Tomoyo's face was wet already. She
didn't want Sakura see her cry, she didn't want to be
comforted by her, she never wanted Sakura's pity... But that
didn't matter now did it? Sakura knew it all. As expected she
couldn't hide it from her.
"I will be a broken woman when you leave," Tomoyo tried a
last appeal to their friendship. All she always tried to do
was not to hurt Sakura - not caring how much she herself
suffered. Now she was begging Sakura to respect her feelings,
to not use her and leave her by the side of the road.
"Don't you trust me?" Sakura asked simply, once again
rendering Tomoyo speechless. It was such an unfair question.
Both knew the answer. Just like that Tomoyo's defenses were
disarmed, swept away and obliterated. Just like that Sakura
walked in and claimed Tomoyo's heart, nothing dared to stand
in her way. More tears flowed down Tomoyo's cheeks, tears of
resignation and defeat.
Again she the pair of hands on her naked body and she let
herself be taken onto the sharp razorblade edge that span
across her feelings for Sakura.
"Everything will surely be alright, won't it, Sakura?" Tomoyo
said, placing her hopes in Sakura's tag line.
"No," Sakura answered in a determined voice. "If it's about
you I'll make sure everything is all right."
------------------------------------------------------------
Finalized: 25. 6. 2002
Peter
The Ghost of 'lectricity
Back to Card Captor Sakura Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction